#the fact that he actively tries to persuade her not to go to the gala??

[angels-creative]

Okay,,, so obviously everyone’s going to know Matt is Daredevil, right?

[chasingshhadows]

RNM S01: A Progressive Review

I want to talk about diversity, representation, social issues, and the way Roswell New Mexico succeeds and fails in that particular department. It’s 2019 and we no longer live in a world where it’s acceptable to ignore the societal implications of the media we consume. That said, it’s also 2019, and Roswell is doing some things that place it far ahead of its peers in media in ways that make it an absolute pleasure to watch. Like honestly, I’m fucking thrilled with this show ok.

I’ve read and skimmed a lot of discussion about the ways in which RNM has failed to be this perfect paragon of progressive representation, and I’ve read/skimmed far less discussion – by both fans and TPTB – about the ways in which the show is trying to be better than its forebears.

However, there seems to be a wide divide between people recognizing the former and people recognizing the latter, and I very much believe it’s irresponsible to try to focus on either one without at least acknowledging the other. So I’m going to talk about those failures and successes, and I’m gonna zig-zag that line so that if you want to read about how I feel about one of those things, you’re gonna have to at least skim the other.

[read more]

I tried to be as concise as possible, but even so, this is rather long, mostly because I didn’t want to make several posts about this. I want to say what I have to say on the topic and then get back to the story because that’s really why I’m here.

Also to note: I understand – and I hope we all understand – that we are in the first season of this show. This means that they should have plenty of time to follow through on or fix many of the issues I will point out, but that also leaves room for them to torpedo many of the positives I’ll discuss. Just – please know that I know we’re only one season in, and anything could happen.

On lived race

This show does a fabulous job exploring how race intersects with these characters’ lives and how it plays an active role in shaping not only who they are, but how their story lines play out. With Liz & Arturo, their race – and immigration status – are openly discussed on screen and inform their decisions and how they present themselves to others, as well as how they are received by their town. This is, in fact, a major aspect of the first season arc/plot as a whole, not just as it pertains to Arturo & Liz (and Rosa), but as it pertains to all the characters, so it’s worth emphasizing.

With Maria, we see her discuss her race as a factor in her isolation from her hometown, as well as seeing how she owns it in the face of racist customers. With Kyle, we see his compassion as a fellow child of immigrants in treating Arturo off the books, and with his mother, we see her perspective on that situation based on her own experiences as a Hispanic immigrant. And with Mimi, we see, tho tangentially, how the intersection of her race and gender and the stereotyping around those have had a negative impact on her healthcare. Even what little we saw of Arizona was washed in her experiences as a Native woman, and her (rightful) disdain for white people.

On the other side of that coin, we have white characters, namely the three alien siblings, whose White Privilege plays an active role in their actions and how they conduct themselves. I know some people have frustrations that these three main characters were all cast as white, but I’ll be honest, after having seen 1.06 (Smells Like Teen Spirit), I would not have bought that any of these characters were a POC. Can you imagine a Black or Hispanic teen being thoughtless enough to frame a WOC – who also happens to be the daughter of a known undocumented immigrant – for the drug-induced vehicular manslaughter of two white girls and not expect the entire town to then turn on that family? Even as a teen, no POC would be race-blind enough to not have had that forethought. It would not be believable, without an immense amount of heavy lifting in the backstory, for a POC to have framed Rosa instead of either of the white women, to have made the decision to put her in the driver’s seat over the other two.

And in this way, the show also does an amazing job in showcasing how good, liberal white people can still be thoughtless where it concerns race. Especially at 17. The White Privilege of the alien siblings, and their lack of awareness of it, serves as a major negative driver of the show’s plot and is the root cause of much of the conflict throughout the first season. That’s real, that’s believable, and that’s important to show.

This, all of this, is vital in portraying accurate, true-to-life representations of how marginalized racial communities interact with each other and white populations, and also gives those communities characters they can point to that not only look like them, but also share their experiences – experiences which are unique to POC and also give white viewers a clearer picture of what it’s truly like to live in this country as a person of color.

On meaningful racial representation

I feel rather let down that the show didn’t follow through on Alex’s heritage in any of the meaningful ways that they did with the other POC on the show (see previous section). All of those characters had clear and explicit aspects of their narrative which centered their race as an part of their story – again, rightfully, as that is how it’s lived IRL. We got to see them express and experience their race as more than just the color of their skin. We didn’t get that with Alex. (or with Noah, but he’s a whole other story)

It’s particularly disappointing considering that Alex is the only POC on the show who passes (that we know of, ofc). Many people will be upset at my bringing this up, but it’s true and we should be talking about it. His ability to pass – the ability for anyone to look at him and not know immediately that he is of Native descent – does not in any way negate his POC identity. Not even remotely. Not a little bit, not at all. All it means is that as a POC, Alex has the ability to be spared from certain microaggressions experienced by others in his community. Not all, not even most, but some. But it also means that he is subject to microaggressions that others in his community will never experience – such as someone making disparaging comments about Natives as tho there aren’t any in the room, or by people assuming he’s “basically white” bc he looks white and erasing his heritage entirely. Those are experiences unique to his race that other Natives who don’t “pass” would never experience.

Roswell didn’t follow through on that this season. We saw no indication, other than the casting of his brother as a Native actor (which I was very pleased about, mind you), that Alex Manes is not as white as he appears. Portraying and giving accurate representation to POCs who pass is just as important as giving it to POCs who don’t.

On consent

WOW this show does a marvelous job at portraying how people should approach getting active and explicit consent from those around them. Active consent is so deeply ingrained in the foundation of this show that its absence is used as an indicator to the audience that something is very very wrong - and on more than one occasion. In order to pull that off, the show has had to set an abundantly clear standard for the type of consent that these characters should expect from each other when things are not horribly wrong, and that standard is appropriately high.

Max and Liz are the obvious duo with which this is explored. From the first, when Liz wants to kiss Max outside of the cave, he stops her because he’s concerned that her judgement may be impaired or impacted by the effects of his powers. He refuses to take advantage of that state, making a direct call to the behavior women wish we could expect from men when our own judgement may be impaired. This continues later when she asks to be left alone and he just immediately backs down and away, not pushing or persuading. He treats her word as law, as he should. We see even in his past, as a teenage white boy in 2008, that he consistently asked for Liz’s consent to even be in her presence.

We see it between Michael and Alex in very different but still very present ways. A lot of Michael and Alex’s communication is silent and, as such, so are their consent check-ins. Before their first kiss, you see Michael checking in with Alex, watching Alex’s body language as he approaches and making sure Alex is receptive before he goes for the kiss – and Alex is, clearly. Michael asks what Alex wants and Alex says that doesn’t matter while stepping toward Michael. Michael stops and looks at Alex and Alex continues to move closer, looking back and forth from Michael’s eyes to his lips. This type of silent communication and consent checks continues throughout the rest of the season, from the scene at the drive-in to the teenage scenes and on.

We also see clear attempts at getting explicit consent between Liz & Kyle, between Cam & Max, and even when Michael was guarding Maria at the gala (I can go get Liz if you want me to leave) and later when he approaches her following the events of 1.13.

This has honestly been so fucking cool to see like this, on a CW show especially, to see how easy and essential it is to get that consent in all situations. It’s an important representation that we don’t see laid out clearly enough in media today and I’m so fucking proud of Roswell for doing it so effectively.

On disability & erasure

This show started to do something that was really incredible in portraying one of the main characters as an amputee. We see his crutch, we see the way he moves with it, we see how he struggles with it, and we see how he is determined to life his life as an amputee, and not just despite it.

There was certainly plenty of room to improve in even that regard - specifically where it concerns coaching on exactly how a recent amputee might move their body and center their weight and whatnot, even, or maybe especially, if that person were trying to hide their struggle. But it’s clear that the show was trying to represent a type of character we don’t get to see often.

But then Alex loses the crutch. Rather suddenly and very cold turkey. This is not an accurate representation of how someone with a recent loss of limb would experience their recovery, no matter how much that person may want to hide it. Recovery takes time, it takes practice, and it includes bad days. We didn’t see any of that.

It's particularly frustrating considering the show gave themselves the perfect opportunity to do this transition far better and didn't take advantage of it. There was a six-week time jump between episodes 8 & 9. Had we seen Alex try to go without his crutch when he confronted Liz in ep 7, and then have to return to using it after the long day out, and again in episode 8 with his father - wouldn't it have been so amazing to see him collapse in his chair after Jesse leaves and rub his leg because he's been ignoring the pain all day in an attempt to intimidate his father? And then we could see him moving more independently after that six-week jump.

The show dropped the ball there, in my opinion. In a big way. That beautiful representation was given and then promptly taken away. And then the show set itself up perfectly to explore how the invisibility of disability can be experienced, and has not followed through on that at all. Quite literally the last indication at all that we get of Alex's amputation is Michael commenting on his having lost the crutch in episode 9.

One of the harsh truths of disability is that no matter how much one might try to ignore and hide that aspect of who they are, it will always be there and it will make itself known. It might be invisible to others, but Alex will experience it anyway, will be affected by it anyway. He may be able to do anything that anyone else can do, but he’s gonna have to work ten times harder at it. We should have gotten to see that.

This same problem of erasing disability happens with Michael’s hand in the last episode. Michael’s scars, what they prevented him from doing, how they affected his work - all of that was so important to see, and then he gets the unconsensual healing power of magic and suddenly he gets his happy place back. And as happy as I was as a Michael!Stan to see him find that, this sends a bad message, that people with disabilities just need to be “fixed” to be happy. And as I mentioned above and in other posts, it is wildly apparent that Max healing Michael’s hand without his consent is meant to be an indicator that Max is Very Not Okay and is a prelude to him literally going so mad with power that he kills himself to resurrect Rosa. That noted, from a representation standpoint, I wish another mechanism had been used to show that.

On unapologetic politicism

Roswell makes it absolutely clear where it stands on the political spectrum and who this show is for. This show exists in the post-2016 election, post-#MeToo era and it embraces that culture and does not shy away from being political, on everything from race, sexuality and misogyny to immigration status, gun control, and even research science. It uses context and even hero dialogue to make the audience aware of what is right and what is wrong on these topics, and it does so without ambiguity or nuance.

It (appropriately) paints ICE as the enemy of good, hardworking people in literally the first scene of the show. Liz starts ranting about being stopped because she’s Latina and I just did a little dance inside because Yaassss, these are my people. And the show doesn’t let up there - the shadow of ICE hangs over Arturo’s - and by extension, Liz’s - head the entire season in a way that makes the audience uncomfortable and angry on his behalf.

The show consistently, from multiple characters both in law enforcement and not, refers to undocumented immigrants, the homeless, and prostitutes as “the most vulnerable members” of society, and not as a scourge or a menace to that society. These are good, worthy people deserving of protection and justice. The show paints anyone who views differently as firmly In The Wrong, from the disgusting Wyatt Long to the self-righteous Sheriff Valenti.

The dialogue calls out everything from subtle racism in police descriptions to building a wall to #AllLivesMatter to fake news to the terrifying ease of buying a gun to homophobia to the president himself  - it does not hold back and it does not leave room for excuses or sympathy on the part of the more conservative characters.

Most of the dialogue on the show that wasn’t explicitly Alien-centric feels very organic in the ways that it makes offhand quips about immigration and racism and sexism and everything in between - that’s the way I and my friends speak and converse. That stuff just filters into our conversations about really anything because it’s always at the forefront of our minds. We call those things out when we see them and talk about idiots like they’re not sitting right in front of us (“I think that’s Hank speak for ‘he wasn’t white.’”) There aren’t a lot of shows that nail that so perfectly and the only one that’s coming to mind at the moment is Dear White People, which was the first I saw to pull this off so well.

This is media that doesn’t try to paint a picture of “there are good people on both sides.” This media isn’t playing middle ground, or trying to please everyone. It’s making a statement in these choices and it doesn’t shy away from pissing off toxic people - this media isn’t for them. Most popular successful media (*cough* MCU *cough*) achieves that status by very carefully toeing the line between left and right, by using subtext to attract progressive viewers while keeping the explicit storyline clean and moderate. Roswell doesn’t do that - its progressivism is explicit and unmissable, as it should be. And that makes it, truly, an absolute joy to watch.

On Maria’s arc

Maria DeLuca did not start this season as an extension of Michael’s - or anyone’s - storyline, and I’m incredibly frustrated that, narratively, that’s how she ended it. That’s easily my biggest disappointment regarding the season as a whole, exaggerated by the fact that Maria is a black woman and because of that, her storyline carries more weight than many of the others. This post does a good job of discussing why POC rep matters more, and while it focuses on race-bending (which this show has also done with Maria, in a positive way), I think it still makes the point that Any POC Rep will just always hit harder, good or bad.

When that Rep is good, it’s fantastic. When it’s bad, it’s terrible.

And for most of this season, it was hitting very very good well. Maria throughout most of the season was this fierce, beautiful firecracker of personality and suppressed issues. She had a history and a deep well of issues both pre- and post- the loss of one of her closest friends, followed by the physical separation from her other two best friends. She’s got an amazing relationship with a mother who is slowly losing grip and slipping away from her. Those things, how they shaped her, and how they expressed themselves made her relatable, tangible, and easy to love.

That was actually one of my favorite parts about her hooking up with Michael, that these were main characters seeking comfort and distraction in one another, rather than just with throwaway characters. Maria is her own person with her own story that we had already seen explored as an independent arc from any of the other main characters

However, that arc never quite got the same attention as Kyle’s or Alex’s and certainly not as much as Liz or the Pod Squad. A lot of that likely has to do with her ignorance of the alien presence in the town (which appears to be coming to a close, but I won’t speculate on that) and that makes sense, narratively. As she couldn’t be actively involved in pushing the alien mystery plot forward, there was only so much the show could do with her, and I think they did take advantage of what little wiggle room they had there.

That said, given that she’s the only black woman on the main cast, it’s very disappointing that she rounds out the season by being drugged, possessed, and either talking about, pushing away, or engaging with Michael. My own perspective on this show may revolve around Michael, but that doesn’t mean I think our black woman should share that fate narratively.

And I’ll note that characterization-wise, I understood the ways Maria’s thoughts and actions could become consumed and fixated on a love interest. Oh, holy wow, have I Been There. But allowing that - and essentially, only that, narratively for Maria at the end of the season, as the only MC black woman on the show - is a disservice to her character and the community she represents. Which is not to say that I take issue with how Michael and Maria come together at the end, either from a narrative or a character development standpoint; what I take issue with is that that is all we get of her in the later episodes. Maria deserved more, and so did we.

On fighting for WOC

One of my favorite things about this show is how the characters on this show again and again come to bat for the two main WOC, despite that both of them are portrayed as absolutely capable of fighting for themselves. Both Liz Ortecho and Maria DeLuca are shown to be strong, multifaceted, beautiful (neither because of nor in spite of their race - just beautiful, end of story), desirable, and worth fighting for - and unapologetically and undeniably women of color.

Our “main hero” Max makes it absolutely clear that he will Throw Down for Liz Ortecho. He risks his own life and the lives of his siblings to save her, and nearly torpedos those relationships entirely on her behalf. He loves her absolutely, flaws and all. And he acknowledges those flaws - he doesn’t put her on a pedestal or pretend she’s perfect - she doesn’t need to be for him to love and respect her.

We see Alex and Michael and Liz all show up for Maria at different points in the story, fighting on her behalf, defending her, and making the statement that Maria is precious and should be protected. More than that, through Michael’s eyes, we stand in awe of Maria DeLuca - she is a standout, she is impressive, she is powerful, and she is her own savior, every time. And through all of that, she is beautiful and desirable and absolutely worthy of being the center of attention.

These storylines and characterizations are unfortunately still incredibly rare for women of color in modern media. Women of color rarely get to be these fully fleshed out characters with their own backstory and own motivations, and even more rarely do we get to see them be viewed by others as special and valued. Roswell isn’t sidelining its WOC or centering their storylines around white men (my comments above re Maria’s last couple episodes notwithstanding). And that’s amazing and should be celebrated.

On aesthetics

No matter how important something is to the plot or how in-character it would be, the sociological aesthetics of media are still relevant. Plot-wise, the roundabout Wyatt leading to Maria leading to Noah was an interesting mechanism, and it makes sense, character-wise for Cam and then Isobel to suspect Maria’s involvement. And it makes sense, character-wise, for Liz to then defend Maria against those suspicions.

But - aesthetics matter. And watching a scene in which two white blonde women accuse a WOC of horrible crimes at another WOC is immensely uncomfortable and very tone-deaf. That wasn’t fun or engaging to watch, I don’t feel drawn into the mystery of it all in that moment, I feel pretty grossed out, actually. Because this show has set a standard for itself of being better than that, and in that scene, it failed its own test.

On bisexual representation

This one I’ve already talked about at length and having finished out the season, my feelings haven’t changed. This show does a damn fine job showing us a bisexual character living out his life, his pain, and his unhealthy but entirely relatable coping mechanisms. They don’t try to portray him as perfect because he’s not and he shouldn’t have to be for us to respect and love him.

On bi-baiting

I’ll admit to being disappointed that Isobel’s feelings for Rosa turned out to be artificial and driven by the man living her in mind. It took the whole situation from amazing bi rep to aggressively heterosexual. Not only was our queer woman not actually queer, but all of those feelings and attraction toward another woman were actually driven by a really toxic man that was actively violating Isobel to pursue that attraction.

Once again, the show started to give us something really fucking amazing - two bisexual main characters - and then appeared to take that away. We’ve been given no indication that Isobel’s attraction to Rosa was anything more than Noah in her head or that she herself is anything other than Very Straight.

This doesn’t diminish the amazing bi representation they’ve given us with Michael, but that amazing representation does not excuse or erase our having been baited into falling for another bisexual character only to find out it was all very likely a sham. While there are certainly not enough bisexual men in media, there is also not enough queer women at all. So dangling that in front of the audience before yanking it away is frustrating.

On respecting survivors

*Content Warning: sexual assault* 

So I’m going to talk as a survivor for a moment and explain how Holy Shit Muther Fucking Important it was to see another survivor being told that other people’s feelings and needs didn’t matter. What She needed mattered. I was sobbing through that scene because no one has ever told me that. No one ever told me that what I needed trumped other people’s comfort or anger or needs.

But Isobel got to hear that. She got to hear that her brothers’ needs Did Not Matter (and that, particularly, hits hard for me). The only thing that mattered was whatever She needed to get through this, to feel better, and to heal. She got to hear that taking care of herself was the most important thing, that she was allowed to be selfish and think of herself. She didn’t have to put others first, or make sure everyone got what they wanted. What they wanted is nothing compared to what she needs. I needed to hear that just as much as Isobel did.

The show did not shy away in facing just how violently violated Isobel was by her husband - body and mind. It doesn’t brush off what he did as just another evil act by an evil man - this was invasion of Isobel in every possible way by someone she loved and trusted.

And it doesn’t try to artificially portray her as too strong to care, or too weak to handle it. She’s strong, but she’s affected. She’s shattered inside, and she’s handling it. A lot of us know what that’s like in ways people that haven’t experienced it never could. And as someone who finds therapy in being understood, in seeing my experiences in media, this scene was everything I needed.

On villainizing POC

This one has sparked a lot of valid discourse. Media has a really ugly history of telling society who is good and who is bad based on casting choices and always always always making the villains the POC, particularly MOC. It’s unconscious bias leading to more unconscious bias, teaching viewers that we shouldn’t trust POC bc they’re always the bad guy.

It’s a problem and every additional casting choice like this contributes to that problem. No show or movie is immune to it simply because they had a good reason, or even because they wanted to give a POC a job. Studios can give POC jobs by writing roles for them from the beginning, rather than slotting them into damaging stereotypes.

While I do acknowledge that it is unfair and in many ways problematic to deny an actor a role simply because of their race, aesthetics matter. There has to be some forethought in the casting choices regarding the message that choice will send. If the desire is to have more POC characters, then write more POC characters.

And that’s another way in which Roswell doesn’t really succeed with Noah. While there’s at least mention of Noah’s race on the show, he falls into the same category as Alex in that we never see his race expressed or lived. They cast a South Asian actor to play a raceblind role, which means they cast a POC actor to play a white role. POC characters have different stories than white characters - Roswell dropped the ball on giving us that with Noah.

Roswell does a lot right where it concerns race on this show, and it is refreshing that our POC villain is far from the only POC on the show. That said, I was taught something in college that I will never forget:  oppression is a moving sidewalk. In order to work against it, you cannot stand still (i.e. casting POC on both sides). You must actively walk the other direction in order to affect change.

Like with the issue of Isobel’s baited bisexuality, giving us amazing representation in one hand doesn’t change that you’re using the other to flick our ear.

On centering queer stories

*hugs myself in delight* This is a big one and is probably the aspect that Roswell gets the most right. Both in impact, screen time, and even in literal scene-splitting, Roswell again and again makes it clear that Michael & Alex’s love story is just as vital and central to this story as Max & Liz’s. They intercut their scenes at numerous points, and characters even within the show compare how similarly their stories have played out. The two relationships experience major milestones on the same day on more than one occasion.

Michael and Alex’s relationship has depth. It has conflict, it has history, it has heartbreak. There is tension and pain and softness and love. It has laughter and safe spaces; it has big gestures and powerful words. These two men who crash together and fly apart but whose whole beings seem to orient toward the other and who, at the end of the day, are willing to let themselves be destroyed for their love.

This queer love story playing out on season 1 of Roswell has more foundation, development, chemistry, and payoff than some of the most romanticised straight couples in media history. It’s been a week since the finale and I’m still just utterly in awe at what we’ve been given here. Roswell is absolutely succeeding in giving us thorough, relatable, meaningful queer representation with Michael and Alex. They are not holding back or sidelining or tokenizing. And they are following through on narrative promises instead of just baiting or relying on subtext. And that’s…. so fucking insanely satisfying to finally get to see.

.

Ultimately, I’m far more happy with how the show treats its underrepresented identities and modern social issues than I am critical. Most of the content on this show is akin to looking in a mirror and seeing my own worldview reflected back. I am a queer progressive woman and a survivor, so many of these issues are personal for me.

But I’m also white, and my disabilities are not physical. As such, I am not and should not be the authority on some of these issues. I am more than open to feedback from those who feel I was either too harsh, or not harsh enough, where it concerns those issues.

But for now, this is essentially Chasing’s Progressive Review of Roswell New Mexico, Season 1. And now I’m gonna go roll around in meta and fanfic and gifsets for the next several months cuz I sure as hell ain’t done talking about this show.

[davidcarner]

Sarah vs The Life Unexpected: Christmastime is Here, Ch 2, Giving Unselfishly

A/N: Okay, I tried last chapter to give away as few spoilers as possible to the main fic, Sarah vs The Life Unexpected. This chapter, there really isn't much I can do. But let's be honest, if you've read any of Sarah vs The Life Unexpected, what you're about to read should be nothing you don't expect. Warning, due to Christmasy goodness, this fic might give you dieabiteeeess. Giving Unselfishly, Chapter 2.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, but I have at least put up my Christmas Tree

Sarah looked at the dress again. She had bought it for this week's special occasion. A huge party was being thrown for video game exes, and Chuck and Morgan were included. She loved the dress; she loved how it looked on her.

"I just hope it fits," she muttered to herself, not realizing Chuck was in earshot. He raised an eyebrow.

"Sarah Bartowski, if you start complaining about being overweight looking like that. . .I don't even know how to finish that sentence," Chuck said, as serious as he could. Sarah smiled at her husband.

"I'm not Chuck, it's just it's the holidays and I'm always eating food that I probably shouldn't this time of year. There's not a lot of give here if I've even gained a pound or two."

"Sarah, you could weigh 400 lbs, and you know your beauty would shine through, right?"

"You're sweet. Delusional, but sweet. And married, so kinda required to say that," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Uh, not required, it's the truth, and the delusional…well, I won't say your wrong. But, if you're worried about the dress, we can skip the party," Chuck said, smiling. Sarah looked at him.

"Naeiou, Mr. Bartowski, we are not," she replied. "We are going to go to the party. You're not getting out of this Christmas party. This is a big deal."

"I'll make you a deal, we don't go and I'll personally decorate my office and the rest of the hallway," Chuck said. Sarah stopped and considered it.

"Chuuck, that's not fair. This party is about celebrating what you two have done and the accomplishments you've achieved."

"It's been more Morgan than me," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Uh-uh," she said, not buying it. "Since we've started working together, your game sales have gone through the roof."

"Well, making a game with a couple of kick-ass women as the main characters kinda helped," Chuck said, grinning. "But, I don't want to go. It has nothing to do with Christmas, it's just hobnob foolery that I care nothing about. Morgan can go and represent the company."

"Chuck, you have to go, and that's final."

"I don't want to," he said, crossing his arms. Sarah walked up to him, looked him in the eye, and gave him a coy smile.

"I really want to go, Chuck. Will you please take me to the party?"

"You know that's not even a little fair," he said, his arms falling away from his chest and feeling like he might lose the ability to speak. She put her index finger on his chest and slowly ran it down.

"I would be so grateful."

"No," he said. Sarah just grinned. "I said, no."

"Okay," Sarah said, and walked into the bathroom. Chuck stood there. "Are you coming in here so I can change your mind?"

"That's not going to work!"

}o{

The next morning

Carmichael Industries

Chuck and Sarah walked in, with Chuck looking a little irritated, and Sarah grinning. She gave him a big kiss, and then went down her hallway and he started down his. Morgan watched the entire thing, and ran to catch up with his friend.

"So, you didn't get out of going to the party?" Morgan asked.

"I expressed my opinions, she expressed hers, and as adults we came to a decision that was best for us as a collective family, business, and just all around good of the world."

"Good of the world?" Morgan asked. Chuck nodded never looking at him. They passed Morgan's office, but Morgan kept right on walking with him. He followed Chuck into the office and sat down in the chair across from Chuck. "So she seduced you." Morgan said, not asked. Chuck put his elbows on his desk and put his head in his hands.

"I'm only human," he mumbled. Morgan reached over and patted his back.

"You poor, poor thing," Morgan said. "Her taking advantage of you like that to get her way. I feel so sorry for you." Chuck lifted his head. "You must feel cheap and used." Chuck grinned.

"You ought to see the dress she bought, it's a red, maybe a salmon," Chuck noticed a shadow by the door and slightly raised his voice. "I really hate it." Sarah came around the corner, her mouth opened, mad. "That will teach you for sneaking up and listening in to a private conversation."

"If it was so private, why were you discussing our love life with Morgan?"

"I never did, Morgan made suggestions, and if I denied them he would have just taken them as the truth."

"He is right, I would have," Morgan agreed. Sarah turned to look at him.

"Oh, look at the time," Morgan said, looking at the wrist with no watch. He bolted out the door. Chuck laughed. Sarah tried to appear to be mad, but she couldn't help herself, and laughed. She stood there a second and looked down, blew out a breath, and then looked at Chuck.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

}o{

Boardroom 5 minutes later

"Let me get this right," Chuck began, a little irritated. Sarah grimaced. "The party, that I don't want to go to, is being hosted at a mansion, that happens to have a computer server that the NSA wants info from, that they feel the best night to access said info is during the party?"

"Yep," Casey confirmed.

"But, we," he said pointing to himself and Sarah. "Are not part of the infiltration team?"

"Right," Sarah said. "We're just going to a party."

"And, you three, expect me, to keep cool, knowing what might be going on?" Sarah scratched the back of her head.

"I'm beginning to think that maybe we shouldn't go," Sarah admitted.

"What about Alex and Morgan?" Chuck asked.

"Them either." Chuck stood there a second thinking and shook his head.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," he muttered to himself. "We have to go. If we pull out and they show up and get identified, it looks too strange. With the Morgan and I and our dates there, it looks pretty natural if Casey and Carina are there. Should we bring Skip?"

"No!" the three yelled at once making Chuck jump back.

"So, we go, to the party?" Sarah asked. Chuck closed his eyes, muttering something to himself, and opened them to see his wife smiling at him, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but you and I stay out of the mission," Chuck said, and then he turned to Carina and Casey. "Unless things go bad, and then you know we're there." Sarah walked over and wrapped her arm around him.

"They'll be fine," she said softly. Casey grunted, and left. Carina shook her head at Chuck.

"You know, you keep this up, and she'll take you on an actual spy mission," Carina said, winking.

"No, I'm not allowed to ever get out of the car," Chuck said. "I'm fine with that, but I can't stand by and see you guys get in trouble." Carina left the room.

"Okay, this is more than you just not wanting to be around people, what is it?" Sarah asked. Chuck sighed.

"So, there will be all these nerds there, and see me with my incredible wife, and," Chuck shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down. "And I can't dance and I'll make a fool out of both of us, and they'll all want to know what someone as incredible as you is doing with a nerd like me," he said quickly. Sarah shook her head, grabbed his, and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't slow, it was hard, full of passion, and Chuck heard colors and saw sounds. When she pulled away, she smirked.

"You," was all she said, shaking her head. "Have you got anything pressing the next few days?"

"Nope, I kept the calendar open, figured we get ramping up on new games after the first of the year," he replied. Sarah nodded, and pressed a button. "Alex, I'm going to need your help, get the Guys." Sarah literally had three guys on staff, mostly retired agents, that she used for everything from just picking their brains about missions, extra muscle at an event, and anything they thought they would be good at. These "guys", all retired, called themselves the Guys. Their cover job was maintenance, but they were just as likely to be in a mission briefing. They rarely went out into the field as active agents, but they were all certified in all firearms, and they all thought of themselves as Sarah's dad. In fact, the one Chuck referred to as the lead guy, Ted, was currently dating Emma. The other two, Bob and Fred had been trying to persuade Chuck to hang Christmas decorations in his hallway the past several days, and at this point just offered to do it. The three came into the conference room with Alex.

"Gentlemen, my husband has to attend a gala with me, and is worried about embarrassing me because he can't dance," Sarah said.

"You don't know any dances?" Ted asked. Chuck looked down.

"Awesome taught me the Tango before he died," Chuck answered.

"See, you do know something."

"It was the woman's part," Chuck said softly. Ted looked over at the other two, who shrugged.

"Let's go with he doesn't know anything," Fred said. "We could move these tables out, and set up a dance floor. I know a few, and I know Bob does as well."

"Think we could teach Morgan?" Alex asked, smiling.

"I'll run get him," Bob said, and took off.

"How about whoever knows the dance, kind of runs things, and the other two will watch and try to catch what Chuck and Morgan are doing wrong?" Ted asked.

"Guys, you're good, but I don't know if you're a miracle worker," Chuck said. Sarah bumped him with her shoulder, smirking.

"Trust me, Chuck," she said.

}o{

Three days later, Chuck found himself in the passenger seat of Sarah's Porsche. She said it was their Porsche, but Chuck had never driven it, and frankly he was scared to. As much as he was for the union of their lives, there were some things you just didn't claim as part of your life. He once joked if Sarah had to decide against never having a Porsche again or not have Chuck in her life, she would miss him. She told him that wasn't true, and he believed her, but he didn't want to test it.

For three days he had practiced dancing until he got the all clear from all three of the guys. Tonight, the three had their own mission. Ted and Emma were watching the girls, and Bob and Fred were in the van, providing assistance to Casey and Carina, and support on Chuck's sub-mission. They had given him an earwig, and told Chuck not to use it if he didn't have to. Chuck wiped his palms on his pants again. He looked over at Sarah, who was stunning.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked over at him in surprise. "I know you've been getting out of bed early each morning and going to the bathroom for something and you seem very tired in the evening."

"I think I've had a touch of a stomach bug," Sarah said. "I haven't given it to you or anything have I?"

"No," Chuck said, unconvinced but didn't want to push her.

"You know all that dancing every day has tired me out a little," Sarah said smiling. "Not that I haven't enjoyed it, I'm just a little out of practice. Maybe I need to up my training at the office."

"Sarah, you're not an agent, you are in tremendous physical shape, and you are going to make people's jaws bounce off the floor with that dress," Chuck said. Sarah smiled at him.

"You look quite dapper yourself tonight Mr. Bartowski," Sarah said.

"It's the love of a good woman," Chuck replied, grinning. Sarah laughed at that.

"You ready for this?" she asked.

"Sure, what could possibly go wrong?" Chuck said, smiling. The smile fell from Sarah's face.

}o{

For thirty minutes Chuck and Sarah made the rounds. Chuck shook hands, said very little about his games unless asked. Sarah hung by him, knowing how much he hated what was going on. The whole time Chuck was worried about his friends getting caught. Chuck tried to ignore the sounds he heard in his ear from time to time. He caught a fragment of sentences here and there, but for the most part, he was able to ignore them. They were standing in the corner, away from the crowd, Chuck drinking champagne, Sarah water, when it came through.

"We need help," Casey's voice came over the earpiece. "We're near the server room, but we need a distraction, and if we don't get one quick, we're in trouble." Chuck looked over at Sarah trying to figure out a way to ask her how they could make a distraction when he noticed her eyes. He pointed at her, his mouth open.

"You have in an earwig," he accused. Sarah's mouth dropped open and she looked at him, trying to appear angry.

"Well, well, you have to have one on as well to know what's going on," she accused right back.

"I have one in for support of dancing," Chuck said, trying to sound innocent. Sarah gave him a look. "Fine, I was worried about them."

"This is great and all guys, and I'm glad to see you two working on your communication, but this isn't helping Casey and Carina," Bob cut in.

"Can you get them to play tango music?" Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. "Do it," he said. "And when we start, we need to be as close to the refreshment table as possible." Sarah gave him a look and just nodded.

The music began, and they moved to the dance floor. The dance began, and everything was going smoothly, much to Chuck's surprise.

"Chuck, whatever you're doing it's not working," Casey said.

"I was afraid of that," Chuck said. "On this turn, make sure and let go of my hand," Chuck said to Sara who really wasn't sure what was going on. "Remember me fondly," he said. As he moved around her, Chuck tripped his on foot on purpose, fell forward, bounced into another couple, and completely lost his balance, flailing his arms and legs everywhere, and went crashing into the ice sculpture. He had everyone's attention.

"That did it!" Carina whispered happily. Sarah saw her husband, the butt of everyone's laughter, laying across the remains of a broken table with the ice sculpture crashed around him. He apologized profusely to everyone. She went to help him up, knowing what he had just sacrificed for his friends.

}o{

Chuck sat in the computer lab at Carmichael, working on the information downloaded. There was an encryption key, but he almost had it broke. He was wearing sweats from his locker, his suit ruined.

"Beckman is paying for that suit," Sarah growled at Casey as she walked into the computer room. She walked up behind him and wrapped both arms around him. "I love you so much," she said. Chuck put his hand over her hands that were wrapped around him. "The one thing you were trying to avoid, getting embarassed, and you did it just to save this mission."

"I didn't do it for the mission," Chuck said. "I did it for Casey and Carina."

"Thanks, Chuck," Casey said. "Those were your peers, I know what tonight meant to you."

"You're my friend," Chuck said shrugging. "That wins every time, besides, now no one will think I'm Carmichael!" Chuck smiled, but Sarah shook her head. Bob and Fred came into the computer lab.

"I don't remember that being in your training of how to dance, Kid," Bob said, grinning.

"I was trying to improvise," Chuck said, still working on the code. Sarah had nuzzled her face into his neck. He hit enter and turned his head to her. "I think I've got it," he said. She kissed him on the cheek.

"Good, let's get you out of here."

"I'm fine, Sarah," he said.

"Well, I'm not, I liked that suit, and I hate all those people think you are this klutz-"

"Sarah," he said softly. "I could care less what they all think. I only care about you, my family, and friends." He got up out of the chair and took her hand. "Let's go home. Besides I'm sure Ted wants to go home some time tonight." Sarah had a look on her face. Chuck's eyes widened. "Or, not."

}o{

Chuck woke the next morning to an empty bed. He looked at the alarm and it was nearly 10. They had gotten home late, and then had gotten involved with some extracurricular activities. Chuck stretched, and felt someone watching him. He turned and saw a grinning blonde head in the door.

"Gonna sleep all day?" she asked.

"Nope, I'm getting up right now," he said.

"Good, breakfast is ready, and then you and I have cookies and fudge to make," Sarah said.

"It's rather quiet."

"Emma and Ted have taken the kids for the day to Ted's kid's house. They have kids close to the same age."

"Are they getting serious?" Sarah shrugged. Chuck gave her a look.

"You mean to tell me, you, former superspy Agent Walker, has no idea of a guy's intentions when it comes to your mother?"

"Well, when you put it like that…" Sarah said grinning. "Cooomme on. We have the place to ourselves." Chuck looked at the empty spot beside him. "I really want to make this stuff for everyone at work."

"Okay," Chuck said. "I need a shower."

"You're just going to get flour everywhere, so it doesn't really matter," Sarah said shrugging.

"Why do I feel like you're going to throw some at me before the day's over?" Sarah pointed at herself in shock.

"You wound me," Sarah said.

"Nah, I wounded myself crashing through that table. It looks so much easier in wrestling."

"Chuck," she said softly. "I'm really sorry that had to happen last night. You don't deserve for those people to think anything less than the truth about you." She came in to the room, and pounced on him, catching him in a tackle. "You just don't stop giving, no matter how it makes you look or how it affects you." Chuck kissed her head.

"If I didn't do everything in my power to help our friends, I could never live with myself."

"Go shower, and come join me for Christmas heartwarming."

"You think you can heartwarm me Mrs. Bartowski?" Sarah smirked, and Chuck couldn't help but grin. She leaned in to his ear.

"I will heartwarm you until you beg me to quit," she whispered in his ear, got up, and left the room.

}o{

For the next few hours, Sarah and Chuck made cookies, fudge, and all sorts of goodies for gift bags for everyone at Carmichael.

"I don't get it Sarah, you get them gifts, so why go to all this trouble?" he asked. She hip bumped him as she went by.

"First, it's no trouble. Second, anyone can buy someone a gift. Third, I enjoy it. Fourth, it maybe the only thing someone gets that feels like home, a happy home." Chuck just stared at her.

"I know they didn't teach that in the CIA," Chuck said. Sarah just grinned.

"I think that's it," she said, looking at everything either cooling or already in packaging. She checked her phone. "And I just got a text, they'll be back in about two hours," Sarah said walking into the other room.

"Okay, you win," Chuck said.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked from the other room.

"I'm heartwarmed; the cookies, goodies, Christmas Music, multiple minor food fights, and you and Molly, I give. You've heartwarmed me." Sarah walked in holding mistletoe over her head.

"Oh, then I guess I won't need this," Sarah said, fake pouting.

"Well, we can never be too sure I won't relapse," Chuck said smiling. "You did say it would be two hours until they get back." Sarah walked toward him smiling.

"I think we have just enough time for a proper check."

A/N: Okay, not as Christmasy as the last, but we're heading for the end of this little three parter. I hope you've enjoyed it. See you soon for part 3, and a whole lot more Molly.