#the entirety of our relationship was based on sacrificing my own time to cater around her schedule
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#something that still breaks my heart is that I once took my ex to my towns community garden cause she was new to town and had never been#she liked it and for some reason we both decided to grab a small piece of aloe vera and both decided it was a mistake lol#so I ended up going back to the garden by myself and I painted ‘i love [redacted] on a bench and also painted her a big heart rock#I hid the rock so she’d have to find it and told her there was a surprise for her at the garden#she said she would go and look for it and etc#but she never did and so why i am I still in love with a person that couldnt take time to go to the garden for me…#might sound silly but I had really wanted her to find the rock and see what I wrote for her#the entirety of our relationship was based on sacrificing my own time to cater around her schedule#I do believe she genuinely loved me but she also told a huge lie and made me feel like I was just another thing in her schedule#we would only be able to see each other once a week bc she’s poly and was in another relationship as well#so like. the fact that she also didn’t have the respect to even communicate with me and legit ended up ghosting me just really#hurts#and she doesn’t even know because I had to break up with her because she ghosted me out of her life#I was never a priority and I hate that I put myself through that while I just chose to believe this insane lie right off the bat#basically she lied about why she was arrested the day we were supposed to have a date#I just#Idek anymore#but I still care for her#can’t stop thinking about her lately and it’s crushing me#personal
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