#the dramatic tendencies are apparently “depression” which i think is a sad name for it

[thebat-musicman]

therapist says it isn’t healthy to have no idea what you’re going to do after college cause honestly you didn’t think you’d live this long

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 91: Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

“That’s me, the nice one.”

Considering Steven’s entire personality revolves around putting others first, I’m amazed that it’s taken this long for a “it’s great to help out others, but remember to take care of yourself” episode to come along. The closest thing we’ve had so far is Sworn to the Sword, but even that was more about Connie learning the concept of prioritizing others too highly above herself than actually practicing it.

It’s a tricky subject, because we should be kind and helpful when we can, and taking time for yourself is something that can come across as selfish or unfeeling in a culture where selflessness is virtuous. Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service handles its lesson beautifully by leaning in hard on the importance of balance, rather than suggesting that focusing on the needs of others or the needs of yourself are the only options. And while I’m sure this is a moral that could be taught with the Crystal Gems (Pearl or Ruby in particular) I think our human protagonist is a terrific choice for two reasons.

The first reason is that Steven’s problem of overextending himself to help others usually involves helping the Gems, the people that should be helping him. This is a whole can of worms that will be talked about way more come Steven Universe Future, but if the Gems were able to see that Steven needs to cool it and take care of himself, they would’ve taught him that a long time ago. It isn’t until What’s Your Problem? that one of them realizes that they maybe shouldn’t be putting so much pressure on him to comfort them, and it’s sad but not surprising that this revelation comes from his sister instead of one of his moms.

The second reason is that giving this lesson to a minor character like Kiki allows Steven more leeway to ignore it. So he does.

I've been Kiki. I’m sure a lot of us have. My go-to instinct is to try to help people (I mean I ended up a librarian) but it took me a while to realize that it was exacerbating my own depression to put all the worries of others on my plate. It didn't mean I stopped caring about people, but I had to learn healthy boundaries to keep my own head above water. Having similar friends means I've also been Steven, trying to help others who don't know how to stop helping others, without realizing until later that we had the same problem.

In that sense, this episode about pizza dreams becomes monumentally important to the series, because it’s Steven’s entire problem in a nutshell. Kiki learns the episode’s lesson in a running sequence that evokes Stevonnie's joyous sprint in Alone Together, but the ending is undermined by cutting back to Jenny and Steven for one last joke. I hated that cut when I first watched Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, because the episode was funny enough that it was okay to end on a sweet moment instead of shoving another gag in at the last second, but watching it again I'm struck by what it forebodes. Kiki is running free, but Steven is asleep on the boardwalk, because even though he helped Kiki figure out that she needs to stop overwhelming herself with the needs of others, he has overwhelmed himself with her needs. And he’ll continue to try and help everyone he sees no matter what. And the further we go, the unhealthier it gets. We see in the very beginning of this story that he understands the value of me-time, preparing a nice dinner for one in his room, but you get the sense that he stops thinking he deserves it right around the time he hears that his mother shattered Pink Diamond.

Let’s talk about Kiki for a second, because she’s such a perfect lead for this story. We don’t know much about her coming into her debut focus episode, especially compared to her twin. She’s nice, but a lot of people in Steven’s universe are nice. She seems to have a stronger work ethic than Jenny, which may or may not be why we don’t see her as often in social situations. She enjoys wordplay enough to not just tell puns but provide commentary on them, which makes her a winner in my book. And most recently, we saw she was willing to pretend to be in love with Ronaldo to help out in Restaurant Wars. I’m not quite mean enough to say feigning attraction to Ronaldo is a sign of true altruism, but I will say she’s way more open to doing whatever it takes to help others than he was.

It isn’t the deepest background of a recurring character, but it’s enough to make it understandable that she’d do Jenny’s work for her. From there it’s a simple matter of going overboard and bringing Steven with her.

It's a little weird talking so much about huge character arcs and intricate plotting in Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, because the episode itself is super silly. The dream sequences leading up to the finale are hilarious, showing once again how good this crew is at capturing the wacky nuances of dreams, but this time without the tonal interruptions of Lion 3 or Chille Tid. Steven is an expert dreamer by now, and relishes helping his friend while being a huge dork. This is the second episode in a row where a distinct anime influence is felt, this time evoking more specific inspirations, from the title to the absurd Evangelion reference at the climax, with plenty of shonen gags in between. Steven is ostensibly a consumer of children’s media, and while I hope he hasn’t watched Evangelion at his age, it makes sense that his dreams would reflect that in the same way his story in Garnet’s Universe references the likes of Chrono Trigger and Usagi Yojimbo.

Silliness also pervades the editing; the early cut between Steven beginning his meticulously prepared dinner to snoring on the couch with pizza dripping everywhere is my favorite, but I like that we mix it up with actually seeing Steven immediately fall asleep after declaring himself a dream warrior. The dramatic music and intense closeup on Kiki as she explains that she has the same nightmare every night is a funny way to reveal how bad her problem really is while showing how she’s repressing it,.

Then of course there are the jokes. Steven Universe is no stranger to comedy, but rare is an episode with with this many jokes told by characters, rather than situational humor common to television. This is another reason why I appreciate Kiki’s presence, because again, she’s all about that wordplay, capping Steven’s series of pizza-based gags by pointing out that “time to cut the cheese” isn’t a pun (which is debatable; if you define puns as jokes that exploit homonyms, she’s right, but if you include alternate definitions of identical words in that definition, she’s wrong). The highlight, of course, is “pepperanhas.”

I actually think this much humor sort of hurts the message, though. I understand why it’s so prevalent in a dream episode like this, but Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service has a solid message that can be hard to absorb when there’s gag after gag to keep you laughing. The message isn’t hard to understand—the episode has subtlety, but the lesson itself isn’t subtle—and I don’t think any show should preachily value the moral over the plot, but it makes for a tonally imbalanced outing. I still like this story, but it’s just off enough that despite its many strengths and its surprisingly solid place in the overall story of the series, I don’t love it.

That said, I have no complaints about the character work: this is the second episode with just two voice actors (after Open Book), even if one of these actors is voicing for two, so it makes sense that we get a little extra focus on the characters than usual. I’ve already talked about Kiki’s people-pleasing and inability to quash her self-sacrificial tendencies, but this is also a fantastic snapshot of Steven at this point in the show. He's still a goofball, and he's still a good friend, but he's dealing with more nuance than he’s had to in the past. I love his instinct to panic and apologize for going into Kiki's brain without permission, considering his good intentions hurt another friend in The New Lars. And I love the tiny taste of teen attitude when he's exhausted and exasperated and snaps at Kiki with bitter comedy instead of childish anger (which he also apologizes for). For all the silliness, he’s maturing.

Plus, we don't even get that clean of an ending for Kiki, despite her running free in the last scene. After the big confrontation with Pizza Jenny (full name Pizza Jenny Pizza) clears Kiki's mind up, we see that her problem isn't fully gone. While looking around the landscape of her brain, she has to follow up "All the cheese is gone!" with "...well, most of it." You can't snap your finger and fix everything, and Kiki is bound to have lingering issues when it comes to helping herself versus helping others. It’s truly challenging to overstate how prescient this small townie episode ends up being to Steven Universe Future.

This is Jenny’s third episode in a row, and it finally addresses a strange character beat of hers that’s been mentioned, but never seen: that she’s “the evil twin.” She’s more social, a Cool Kid who bends the rules with the freedom that comes with her car, and she apparently conflates liking metal bands to being bad (come to think of it, it’s weird she doesn’t bring any metal influence to Sadie Killer and the Suspects’ sound), but none of those traits qualifies as “evil.” She’s dismissive of Lars at times, but who wouldn’t be? And remember, Jenny was the one who stepped in front of Garnet’s fist to save Steven in Joy Ride, and Jenny was the one whose instinct was to help Stevonnie when their car stalled in Beach City Drift. So it’s about time we actually get some evidence that she’s any sort of bad twin.

It’s pretty tame, which I appreciate given her consistent depiction as a good person. At worst, she’s taking advantage of her sister’s nature, but seeing how the situation resolves it’s more likely that she’s just being selfish and thoughtless than cruelly manipulative. Which isn’t great, but she’s a teenager, which explains not only her behavior here but her desire to exaggerate how bad she is to define herself, especially as a twin who’s bound to be compared to her kind sister. And when Kiki stands up for herself, Jenny is fine picking up the slack (despite the perfect teen reasoning that Kiki likes running so there’s no reason not to run and deliver pizzas).

Was Kiki named so that this episode’s title could eventually work? I have no idea. But I wish we saw more of her than we do: it took ninety-one episodes for her to get a focus episode, and she won’t have another speaking role until Pool Hopping, which is an absurd fifty-two episodes away. Townies in general are intermittent figures in the show’s balancing act of the magical with the mundane, but she’s a remarkably ancillary despite her similarities with Steven. They both work hard, care hard, and joke hard, and I feel like there are more stories to be told from their friendship. Kiki ends up going to the prom with Stevonnie in the non-canon comics, but I wish these kinds of stories had more room in the show. Do I prefer Gem shenanigans? Sure. But Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service is a fine example of how Beach City shenanigans are still worth exploring, and ends up being perhaps the most important townie episode in the series when it comes to sheer thematic resonance.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Again, the tone here is a little too varied for me to like Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service as much as I wish I did. There are a ton of great elements to it, but in terms of just being an episode I enjoy rewatching, this doesn’t quite make the cut. I obviously don’t hate it, but my feelings aren’t as strong as my gushing about its individual strengths might lead you to believe. Thematic resonance can only do so much!

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[sehunsmuabrows]

Superstar//Byun Baekhyun

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader 

Genre: ???angst??? 

Word count: 2,222 

Summary: You haven’t been back home since your career took off and a huge breakup. After traveling around the world, you return home to see that your ex boyfriend has achieved his dreams. 

I guess this is part one, it was supposed to be a one shot but it got too complicated 

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

You felt like hell trudging through the airport, hauling your heavy luggage with resentment. Your fifth cup of coffee only making you more on edge about the whole experience. Though you were partly glad knowing that this would be your last time traveling for a while. It had been years since you had been to your hometown, your parents made no effort to keep in contact with you as work got more demanding, other than to ask for money when they were tight on funds. So you decided that you didn’t need to go out of your way to spend time with them. The only reason you would have continued to visit home was no longer a part of the equation, so you dove into work without looking back.  

You finally arrived at the front of the airport, waiting for your ride to arrive at the front of the terminal. Your work friend, Areum, had promised to pick you up from the airport and let you stay at her place, seeing as you hadn’t found a place in Seoul yet. You perked up when you saw her bright red buggie roll to the curb in front of you. “Hey there Ms. Y/N, how was your flight?” Areum piped after getting out of her car and rushing to help you with your bags, energetic as ever. You tried to shake any sign of irritation or fatigue from your mannerisms as you replied smiling brightly at her,  “It was a little rough, but I get to fly business class and that’s always a treat”. You plopped into the front seat, groaning as if you had completely forgotten what it was like to sit in a chair.  

The ride to Areum’s apartment was quiet, as it was far too early in the morning to engage in a deep conversation. And as chatty as Areum is, she was aware that you were far too tired to entertain her. You watched out of the window as you passed the distantly familiar buildings. Seeing the city left an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach as you remembered the memories you made. All of the feelings and memories you had supressed while traveling the world started to drip back into your mind. Baekhyun’s smiling face reappeared in your mind as you thought of everything you left behind. You couldn’t help but think of your ex whenever you thought of seoul, and now you were here, completely and totally surrounded by it. You ran out of time to brood over your past when the car stopped in front of the apartment, it seemed like your body was running ahead of your mind as you glided through Areum’s apartment. She finally showed you to the room that you would be staying in and left you to unpack. As soon as she shut the door behind her, you collapsed onto the soft bed, falling asleep upon impact.

The next month or so was good and uneventful, you begun to a class at a nearby university and the pay was good, so you had no complaints. It wasn’t hard to find a new gig, as you had become well known for your sociology lectures and notorious among students for being a bit rigid. Your friendship with Areum had gotten stronger, you had even stopped referring to her as a “work friend”, and moved to considering her a regular friend. She had begun to try to get you to go to activities with her instead of just watching movies in her apartment, even trying to set you up with her guy friends. One day, she burst into your room with more energy than she had ever shown before, and that was saying something. She began thrashing around on the ground smiling and yelling words that you couldn’t quite make out. You didn’t have very much of a reaction to this type of behavior from her anymore, seeing as she has a tendency to get over excited. The happiness tantrum lasted about 5 minutes before she finally calmed down and explained what her episode was about. “I just got us tickets to see exo tomorrow! Front row and everything, my cousin gave them to me because she has a surgery that day, it’s sad but another man’s misfortune is another man’s miracle” she blurted out, jumping around like a madman. Seeing that you were overwhelmed by her enthusiasm, Areum stopped jumping and tried to level herself to your even temperament as she showed you the tickets.  

“First of all, you know that really isn’t my scene, screaming girls and loud bass isn’t really my ideal afternoon. Second of all, I have work.” You said, handing the tickets back to her. She huffed loudly, visibly frustrated by your refusal.

“I know you don’t really listen to music, but you have to get out there. It could help you with your lectures, it wouldn't hurt to loosen up just a little, don’t think I haven’t noticed how depressed you’ve been since you got here” She spit back, pushing the tickets back into your hand. “ Also, i checked your schedule and you don’t have any lectures or meetings that day, we’re going.” She said, leaving the room before you could say anything back. As usual, you were too exhausted to fight back and ended up following her plans. The rest of the night was spent planning outfits for the concert. Apparently, we needed to camp out at the venue several hours early so we decided to go for more comfortable clothing. Unfortunately you only owned business attire and pajamas, meaning you had to borrow Areum’s clothes. You ended up wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt with the word  “CHEN” on it, which you assumed must be the name of someone in the group. The clothes were too big, as areum was significantly taller than you. Areum was wearing an identical sweatshirt with the name “SUHO”, which she was showing of proudly in the morning of the concert.  

You arrived at the venue several hours in advance, quickly jumping in line behind a group of girls who seemed as if they had slept there. It took you almost an hour of awkward second glances from girls in the line to realize that many of  them were in your class at the University nearby. You felt both embarrassed and confused when you heard one of the girls in front of you whisper to her friend “Dude look, my sociology professor is a Jongdae stan”. Areum was extremely entertained upon hearing the not-so-quiet exchange, explaining that Jongdae was the real name of the man whose stage name you had stamped on your shirt.  

The hours passed by slowly, as the line got longer and longer, you got more and more anxious. You considered, that if there was this much excitement for a performance, then it must be worth it. By the time the venue started letting people in, your legs were aching, you were leaning onto Areum for support. However, in contrast to you, Areum didn’t seem to be tired at all, though she was on edge waiting for the ticket scanner to get to the two of you. Once you both passed through into the venue, she grabbed your arm and started to drag you to the merchandise line to get lightsticks and banners. You managed to make it to the station before a long line accumulated, just standing behind a couple other people. The girl directly in front of you was tall and muscular, blocking your view of the merchandise table completely. Areum was annoyed by this and asked her to move over to the side so she could browse. You could only see the back of her jersey, which read the single word that had haunted and tormented you for years, Byun Baekhyun. You were instantly stunned after reading the word, your mind raced so fast that you barely noticed the lightstick being stuck into your hand. You followed areum to your spot in front of the stage. You looked around, noticing for the first time that the same word was plastered everywhere in the arena. Girls wearing it proudly across their chests, waving it in the air like flag, and painted across their face. Your mind finally flooded with thoughts of him, the way he sung to you when you couldn't sleep, the way his face scrunched up when you tried to flirt with him, the way he bragged about you to his friends. Your love was strong and didn’t seem like anything could go wrong, until your career got more demanding and Baekhyun got closer to debut. You started spending less and less time with him, you started earning more money and he was only a trainee at an entertainment company, you started to get distant and he was feeling neglected. Which is why you couldn't even bring yourself to cry when you found your sister’s bra in his bedroom, and he had no explanation. You blamed yourself for the relationship crumbling, no matter what your friends or your own teaching curriculum told you about crumbling relationships, you always felt responsible. You never even found the strength to confront your sister about Baekhyun in person, it always ended up in a series of drunk emails.

Areum noticed your loss of focus and tried to see what was wrong, but the lights had already dimmed and the crowd was deafeningly loud, so you just shrugged her off, promising to explain after the concert. Music started to play loudly, your heart started to pound hard as you anticipated the group’s approach, you hoped that you were mistaken, and it was actually a different Byun Baekhyun, so that you wouldn’t have to watch your ex boyfriend live out his glorious dream from the front row. It wasn't like the score was even either, showing up to your ex girlfriends lecture about class conflict and inequalities would be alot less dramatic than this.

The music got louder, as did the screams, when 9 men emerged from the bottom of the stage, swiftly beginning their first song. All hope was gone when the first line was sung, you would recognize his voice anywhere. The silky sound of his voice invaded your ears swiftly, entrancing you just as it always had. Thankfully, the group was still far enough upstage to be a sizeable distance from you, with any luck, you could get out of the concert without him seeing you. You couldn't help but enjoy the performance, if you hadn't been so caught up with Baekhyun’s presence, you may have even payed attention to all of the members. They had made it through half of their set before they came up stage and sang a ballad. You realized that this could possibly mean trouble, so you stood a little behind Areum for protection. She quickly noticed your actions and shoved you back forward to your previous spot, telling you to not be scared. Of course she knew nothing of your previous relationship, and probably wouldn’t believe you if you tried to tell her, so you didn't blame her for thinking you were just being timid.

You cursed yourself for not wearing a hat earlier in the morning, as it would’ve been a convenient device to hide your face in this situation. A member with the name KAI stamped onto the back of his jersey was closest to you, he had squat down to touch fans’ hands and wave. He slowly made his way to you and Areum, his smile was dazzling as he looked at the both of you, until he looked at you a little closer, causing his smile to falter, his face to express a bit of shock while trying to maintain a smile. The realization set in that Baekhyun might have shown his members a picture of me by chance-- or Kai took one of my classes-- i desperately hoped for the latter. He quickly moved on from you and Areum, standing up and joining the other members in throwing plushies at each other across stage. It was then you resumed your focus on Baekhyun, he took Kai’s place and started greeting fans as he sung, he got closer and closer to you slowly. You tried to figure out a way to hide and make it seem normal to the other fans in the crowd. Once again, you tried to hide behind Areum,that strategy was just as successful as it was the first time, as you were launched to the front once again, you felt the presence that you dreaded the most. You looked up to see the very face that you tried to forget for 4 years staring back at you, unwavering and full of emotion. You saw many things in his eyes that night, too many things to decipher. The look in his eyes was all it took for you to push your way out of the crowd, desperately looking for a way out of the arena. Throughout the years without him, you tried to forget him and move on to someone new, you thought that if you saw him again then all the feelings would be gone, wondering if it was ever love at all. But you were wrong, it would never go away. 

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