#the details aren't super relevant to the story so just giving you the 'need to know' stuff
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lynzishell · 1 year ago
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As summer turned to Autumn and the days got colder and shorter, Phoenix and Dawn found themselves shifting focus to their careers. They both earned big promotions that led to higher stress and longer hours. With less time to see each other during the week, they made the most of what small pockets of time they could… like their 15 minutes over coffee in the mornings.
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Phoenix, who has been working for the San Myshuno Human Rights Commission, is now heading the Department for Housing and Community Development. At first, he was excited and had big plans for the future of the city. Unfortunately, it seems the more power he is given to make a positive impact, the more he runs into roadblocks and red tape. The stress and frustration started taking a toll.
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To cope with the stress, he began spending more time in Mt. Komorebi where he’d go snowboarding with his friends the way he used to before Kiyoshi ever presented the idea of climbing the mountain.
Nothing like the rush of flying down the slopes and landing massive jumps to get your mind off things, I suppose.
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Meanwhile, Dawn has been working for the Dreamer Foundation as an Event Planner. She organizes many of their fundraising events, and they’ve been doing so well that she’s started putting together more prestigious events for their larger donors. This, of course, comes with its own kind of stress and frustration.
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Rather than take off for the mountains though, she felt like she needed to make time to slow down and breathe. So, she started getting into wellness activities like yoga and meditation.
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Oh! Also, Atlas and Asher started coming over every Sunday to join them for dinner...
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...and to watch the latest season of Somnium.
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All four of them are now fully invested in the series. (how could they not be with a genius creator like @rebouks)
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writingquestionsanswered · 10 months ago
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do you have advice on how to write genuine dialogue? i have a very severe case of when getting into the mindset of writing, and specifically writing dialogue, i only regurgitate whatever i have heard/seen from other media. it just seems unoriginal, ingenuine, and for aesthetic value only (i end up writing something out of a poem and not real people conversations). please help 😞
Writing Dialogue That Sounds Natural/Genuine
1 - Know Your Characters Well - One of the most important elements of writing natural/genuine-sounding dialogue is making sure you know your characters well. If you don't know who they are... their personalities, their experiences, what they care about, what they know and don't know... then you can't accurately envision what they'd have to say in a conversation. See: Making Personalities Unique and Keeping Them Straight
2 - Flesh Out Character Voice - "Character voice" is how your character's background, experiences, and personality affect what they say and how they speak. This isn't about quality of voice... it's about vocal personality. See: Giving Your Characters a Unique Voice
3 - Know What They're Going To Talk About - There's nothing that sounds more unnatural and inauthentic than characters having a conversation that has no relevance to anything. That said, it's super important to understand why you're writing this dialogue scene... what are you trying to accomplish with it? How does that move the story forward, move character development forward, or deliver important information to the reader? What needs to be said and why? Being clear on this can help you craft dialogue that sounds natural and genuine because it's relevant and serves a purpose.
4 - Balance Exposition, Action, and Dialogue - Overall, we want our stories to have a relative balance of exposition (explaining things), action (things happening), and dialogue. We want a relative balance of exposition, action, and dialogue in our scenes, too. What I mean by "relative" is you generally wouldn't want a scene that's all dialogue, very little action, and no exposition. (And I say "generally" because there can be exceptions... short scenes, scenes that serve a unique purpose, scenes with unique requirements, etc.) So, it's important to really think about the needs of your scene, what you're trying to accomplish, and make sure you've got a relative balance of dialogue, exposition, and action (as long as it works for the scene.) See: Exposition, Action, and Dialogue, and How to Pace Your Story
5 - Write Dialogue with Sensory and Emotional Depth - We never want our dialogue to be just words batted back and forth between two or more people. Dialogue needs to have depth, and we give it that depth in two ways.
-- Sensory Details in Dialogue -- Sight: what are the characters doing as they talk? What is their body language? Facial expressions? Hand gestures? How do they physically interact with their environment and others in the conversation? Sound: quality of voice (when characters voices get loud or soft, when a voice is gritty or raspy, when the speaker has an accent or speaks with a particular tone or cadence) as we as sounds like coughing, clearing the throat, or sighing... and sounds resulting from the character's interactions with the environment or others. Smell: bad breath or alcohol on the breath... or good breath... the smell of the speaker's perfume or body odor, the smell of a cigarette they're smoking, or a food they're eating.
Taste: there aren't many opportunities to include taste in dialogue, but possibilities would be tasting bile due to something awful someone said in the conversation, tasting food or drink sampled during conversation, or even "tasting" a smell associated with the environment during the conversation.
Feel: again, this will be more environmental... feeling a "chill" in the room when something cruel or scary is said. Noticing things felt due to the environment or interaction with the environment/others. Internal physical sensations felt during conversation.
*** And, it's important to note that I'm not suggesting that you include every sense or lots of sensory details. It's just adding a few that make sense can add depth and authenticity to the dialogue.
-- Emotional Details in Dialogue --
You also want to be sure to explore the emotional impact of the conversation as well as what characters are thinking as they participate in the conversation, and what they feel about what others are saying. As mentioned above in the "feel" portion of sensory details, you can explore the internal sensations caused by emotions felt as a result of the conversation. Stomach turning due to something unpleasant being said. Butterflies in stomach due to something exciting being said. Chill up the spine due to something scary being said. You can also explore emotions through visual emotional cues, which brings us back to things like body language, gestures, and facial expressions. Letting us know what characters are thinking and feeling (emotionally) during the conversation--or what they appear to be thinking and feeling if they don't say or we can't be inside their heads--adds depth and authenticity to the dialogue scene.
Happy writing!
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descendant-of-truth · 1 month ago
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Okay I waited to get this out there because I didn't want to be a bummer the second it released, but. The story in Shadow Generations was... kind of nothing. Which sucks, because it had literally everything going for it.
Shadow gets plunged into a white space where people and places from different points in time are unceremoniously dropped in due to the power of the Time Eater, and that means Black Doom is here to try to manipulate Shadow again. Shadow starts developing alien mutations that mess with his sense of identity and only make Black Doom stronger, but he's determined to use them to take him out for good.
At the same time, Maria and Gerald Robotnik are here, and of course the first thought on Shadow's mind when he discovers them is how he can find a way to save them from their original fates. So he's got two goals: defeat Black Doom, and save his family.
This setup is really good. It's immediately engaging for all sorts of reasons, from the surface-level "whoa cool alien powers!!" to the heartbreaking implications of Shadow being forced to say goodbye to Maria and Gerald again. (Because naturally, we've seen where the games go from here and we know the timeline isn't changed that drastically.)
And it's clear to see that the people involved in working on this game were passionate about it, too. The animation and cinematography is quite good, and while I have my critiques (I still don't think the character models are that great), so much effort was put into making Shadow the coolest guy ever, and I think it paid off. He's both very cool and shows a wider range of emotions than we've seen from him in a while, which is always a plus for me.
I mean, goodness knows that Shadow needed his character to be revisited and given respect after, what, over ten years? The step up that this is can't be overstated.
And yet.
The story itself is so empty.
Let's go in order:
The game opens with a narrated recap of Shadow's basic history in order to catch people up. I can't say it doesn't technically serve its purpose, but given the fact that the premise of the game is exploring Shadow's past, it's a little weird to spell it out at the start like this. If you're a newcomer to the series and don't know much about Shadow, wouldn't it be cooler to find this stuff out by progressing in the game?
It also leaves out crucial details that, while they could arguably bloat the scene, provide a lot of relevant context that a first-time viewer isn't privy to.
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"At the last moment, Shadow remembered Maria's final wish... to protect her beloved planet and all who lived there."
The last moment of... what, exactly? What made him remember, what made him forget in the first place?
In order, these are the answers the scene doesn't give you:
The last moments before the ARK crashed into the Earth, which would've caused catastrophic damage.
Amy was the one who pleaded with Shadow to give everyone a chance, which echoed what Maria told him, triggering the full memory.
It's actually unclear if Shadow forgot what Maria said as a natural trauma response or because Gerald messed with his memories on purpose, but this would have been a great opportunity to clarify.
It also leaves out the fact that Shadow teamed up with Sonic to save the world after he tried to destroy it, so that's two connections with other characters he has that are completely left out in the recap. I know we're finally getting back to showcasing Rouge and Omega as his best friends, but he does hold respect for Sonic and Amy, too. Plus, his interactions with them in SA2 were so iconic, why leave them out?
Then again, I suppose Rouge and Omega aren't in this recap either... which is really weird, the more I think about it.
But even as it's describing the moment he chooses to be a hero, they don't show him in his super form alongside Sonic, he's just... what, on fire?? I don't know what that's supposed to be depicting, it just looks cool.
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"Shadow didn't understand why Black Doom expected him to be the vanguard for his invasion of Earth."
A fine start, but shouldn't we have gotten a passing mention of Shadow's amnesia somewhere in here? He spent two whole games trying to remember who he was, and Black Doom's whole tactic was to exploit his desire for answers. That's important characterization for both Shadow and Black Doom that we're missing out on, here.
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"Shadow the Hedgehog. The lone, dark warrior who judges the world by his own code."
This is maybe best addressed in a separate post, but. does anyone else find this description of Shadow kinda odd? "Lone warrior" I get, even with his friends he's not big on groups, but it's everything else.
Yeah, he judges the world by his own code, I guess, but his actions are all in service of following Maria's code. It's Sonic that lives solely by what he wants without much influence from others, not Shadow.
And what exactly makes Shadow a "dark" warrior? He's been explicitly characterized as someone who doesn't kill as recently as the prologue animation to this very game, where he goes out of his way to save a pilot when he doesn't need to. His entire life's purpose is protecting the world, and this doesn't involve killing or torturing people, so... what exactly is the dark part of his morality. Nothing about this recap has given me reason to believe he's anything but a heroic person with a traumatic past, and the subsequent game will only reinforce that.
I guess he did kill all the Black Arms, but that's not something the game ever treated as an immoral action. Shadow blows up Black Doom and the comet his people live on and all of our heroes cheer as he does it. It happens in the True Ending and everything, where Shadow's supposed to be proving himself as a hero for real, so that can't be the example of him being a Dark Warrior.
Is it because of how he treated Infinite, a character that this game doesn't acknowledge despite featuring a level from Forces? We'll never know. They just want you to accept the idea that he's Darker and Edgier than Sonic based on his surface-level demeanor alone, which... given that the objective of this game is to showcase Shadow's nuance, this is really out of place. Overall, not a great scene.
That said, the first real cutscene is pretty good, and it immediately showcases how unnecessary that recap was by showing how excited Maria was to meet Shadow for the first time. From that scene, we learn that Shadow was artificially made, that he's "the Ultimate Lifeform," that Maria was likely close to him, that this happened on some place called "the ARK" which is in space, etc. Why did we have a narrator tell us all of this a minute ago when we were just about to see it for ourselves?
I do have one nitpick, though - Shadow claims that he arrived at the ARK "an hour ago," and Rouge on the other end of the comm is already at Sonic's birthday party. Rouge only agreed to help Shadow get to the ARK if he would go to Sonic's birthday party afterwards, but how was Shadow supposed to have time to do anything up there if Sonic's party was that soon? I was under the impression from watching the prologue that Sonic's birthday was at least a week away, because how else would Rouge expect him to conduct a full investigation and potentially fight some huge battle before then?
Oh and the Time Eater shows up in two places at once (at Sonic's party and on the ARK), I feel like it would've made more sense to have it grab Shadow after it was done with everyone else. Now I'm gonna be forced to ask "why doesn't the Time Eater multiply" for the rest of the game. Whatever
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Moving on, our first real sign of things to come is the fact that Omega does not have a proper speaking role despite showing up in the first cutscene. He's right there, conveniently next to Shadow, but as soon as you think they're going to talk to each other... you're dropped into the hub world. Speaking to Omega results in text bubble dialogue, wherein Shadow is mysteriously hit with Silent Protagonist Disease and we don't get to hear anything he says. Effectively, Omega just. talks at Shadow three times, saying nothing of interest. and it's completely optional.
I repeat: all of the dialogue from one of Shadow's best friends is OPTIONAL, and Shadow himself says nothing to him. Yeah, we're off to a great start.
(Omega even says that he's going to assist Shadow, and I just. I have to laugh. I'm so sorry Omega but in terms of physical actions, you're genuinely going to do less here than in Forces)
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Shadow: "No. She's gone. I'm seeing things."
Pardon?? Seeing things??? I'm sorry but there is no way that Shadow can see and recognize Maria from that distance but not from ten feet away with her back turned. He's also never been implied to have super-vision, so the whole scene just doesn't make sense, and frankly adds nothing to the story.
Even if he doesn't mean literal sight, then 1) why did he phrase it like that, and 2) I kinda don't care. He doesn't need to be able to sense Maria's presence or whatever's going on here, because he's just as shocked when he actually sees Maria properly later. It builds suspense I suppose, but I feel like it would've been more impactful to discover that Maria was really here the same way Shadow does; in the cutscene where he saves her.
But before they can reunite, we've got the first proper cutscene with Black Doom:
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Black Doom: "You defeated us, but the Black Arms live on. And this temporal anomaly has accelerated my plans to revive my forces and consume the world."
I'm gonna be real with you guys. I have no idea what he's talking about here.
The game makes zero attempt to really explain how the Black Arms "live on" despite Shadow blowing up their entire comet along with Black Doom himself, and going into the game, I kinda thought it was just... time displacement. Maria and Gerald are brought in from a time they were alive, so I thought it would be the same with Black Doom, but no - he revived himself before the Time Eater even got involved.
Which I'd be willing to accept if they gave me an explanation for it, but they didn't, and the whole foundation of the plot suffers for it.
Plus, what the heck does he mean that the temporal anomaly has "accelerated his plans to revive his forces"?? The Time Eater's powers don't... accelerate anything. At all. They pluck things out of time and freeze them in a void. How does that help Black Doom's plans whatsoever?
If the idea is that he's going to pluck his own forces out of time and bring them back that way, why not just say that? Why are they withholding such basic information from us? It doesn't create intrigue, and the story doesn't even treat it like there's a gap in our knowledge to begin with. I think it's genuinely supposed to be the whole explanation, and that's a problem because it explains very little.
Then you've got the Black Moon, and this thing annoys me to no end because guess what?? Despite gradually opening more eyes and cracking open every time you complete a level, it's never once explained what it is or what it's for. All it does is turn the white void into a red void and open a portal to Even More Radical Highway. Maybe I'm forgetting something from an optional piece of dialogue, but that only creates a different problem, which is that you should never lock basic understanding of the story behind optional dialogue.
Why does it have eyes? Is it a living creature or some weird bioweapon? It's oddly mechanical for a creation of the Black Arms; even their weaponry is organic, as this very game tells us through Omega, so what's its deal??
You'd think it would have something to do with time, considering the framing of this scene:
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Shadow says "perhaps I can change their fate" and then looks to the Black Moon as though it may hold some relevance to this new plot thread, but. nope. it just takes you back to Radical Highway.
And hey, look at that, I was so busy complaining about the moon that I seamlessly transitioned into one of my biggest issues with the game: Shadow says this. and never follows up on it. EVER.
I'm not kidding, there's literally NO point in the game where we're shown Shadow trying to do ANYTHING to change Maria and Gerald's fates. There's no scene where he attempts to understand the void better, he never investigates anything, he makes exactly zero attempts to accomplish one of his main goals. of BRINGING HIS FAMILY BACK TO LIFE.
What is the point of them being here, then.
No, I'm serious, literally why are they here if we don't get to see Shadow try to save them?? By the time the final cutscene rolls around, they start fading away back to their own time, and suddenly Shadow's like
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(WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED, YOU DID NOTHING TO PREVENT THIS OUTCOME)
But I'll talk more about Maria and Gerald later - for now, since we're on the topic of Shadow having odd reactions to things, how about those stages and bosses, huh?
Well guys, I'm pleased to announce that despite there being dialogue in some of the stages, absolutely none of it provides context to the locations Shadow visits or his thoughts on them! If you didn't play Heroes and have no idea that Bullet Station is where Shadow found a destroyed Shadow Android, kickstarting a new layer to his identity crisis, then congratulations, this choice of level will mean nothing to you.
And before anyone tries to be like "the Sonic Generations levels don't get commentary from Sonic on their significance to him, either," it's a problem there, too. But it's an even bigger problem here, because they went out of their way to choose levels that have real emotional significance to Shadow and then proceeded to do nothing with it.
Isn't this the game where we revisit Shadow's story up until this point? Would it have been so hard to drop a line of dialogue indicating that Shadow's not thrilled about returning to Bullet Station? Maybe add a brief cutscene where he finds the same broken android from before, and says something like "hmph, I can't believe I let that thing make me doubt myself for so long," thus demonstrating his growth?
Here's a fun fact: Shadow has zero cutscenes that happen inside of levels. This is something Sonic beats him at, by having one cutscene that takes place in a level (Chemical Plant). This should not have been a high bar to clear, but they fell short somehow, anyway.
(Space Colony ARK doesn't even use the Final Chase music. The Shadow game starts out with a song exclusive to Sonic rather than him. He actually has more ARK-related music than Sonic does and they still didn't use any of them. How did they mess that up)
This problem only gets worse when they start pulling in levels from Forces and Frontiers - games that this Shadow hasn't experienced yet and wasn't there for, respectively. Once again, on principle, this is a cool idea! Shadow getting a peek into what his and Sonic's futures have in store? The confusion over when these events take place, if they're even connected to him like the others have been? Great stuff
And hey, if he's going to Chaos Island, and we saw from the trailers that the volcano is exploding in Act 1, then maybe we could even see Super Sonic fighting Knight in the background in Act 2! The debris from their fight could even act as platforming challenges, can you imagine how cool that would be? What will Shadow think of the advanced tech on the island, or of seeing Sonic fight something so massive? Surely this is a great opportunity to elevate Frontiers even further--yeah of course they don't do that.
No Knight fight in the background, which is... fair enough, I guess, but then why bother with the volcano exploding? It only does that moments away from when Sonic is about to fight Knight. Yeah, it looks cool, but we didn't need it. The more egregious problem is still the fact that Shadow has no observable thoughts or opinions on being sent to unfamiliar terrain in the future, though.
The bosses all have dialogue, though, which is a step up on a technicality and little else. Most of the dialogue from Shadow is just him being a self-aggrandizing badass who doesn't see any of the bosses as threats - even Neo Metal Sonic, who he should really not be so confident in beating all by himself, considering that he. didn't do that before. It actually took eleven other people to defeat Neo Metal, including Super Sonic, but I guess he just doesn't care at this point.
If they wanted to, it would've been easy to make him overconfident on purpose due to his new Doom powers, make an arc out of it, but no. Shadow's just Like This now, apparently.
There's a similar power scaling issue in Sonic Generations too, where Sonic can somehow defeat Perfect Chaos without his super form, but the game had dropped location-specific cutscenes so long ago that it was hard to feel like it was even canon at a certain point. The game never cared about making sense or really being anything, but Shadow Generations doesn't get that excuse. The bosses having the most mid-gameplay dialogue tells us that they're Definitely Happening, and so I care more about them as a result.
Which takes us to the moment that I truly realized that this game had no interest in doing anything with its material: the Mephiles boss fight.
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Shadow: "What's this? A seal of some sort?"
Okay real quick before I get into my big issues with this fight: I know it's a magic glowing artifact, but what about it actually looks like a seal, specifically? Does Shadow just have a sense for this kind of thing? I don't recall him ever demonstrating that ability before.
I feel like this line is just here to clarify what it is for people who don't know, but since Shadow also doesn't know, it's just kind of weird. I'm not even sure why he's in the Scepter to begin with, considering that Shadow's sealing attempt in this room was a failure, but whatever.
Of the three bosses in Shadow Generations that precede the final boss, Mephiles is the only one that can both speak and had a relevant dynamic with Shadow that would be interesting to revisit. The Biolizard is cool but doesn't have a personality, and Neo Metal had no real opinion on Shadow. (In Rivals 2, Shadow and Metal Sonic have a developing friendship, but this has unfortunately never been brought up again. If they did so here, it would only have been on Shadow's end, since Metal hadn't gotten to that point yet.)
But Mephiles? So much of his character revolves around Shadow. It was Shadow who sealed him away originally, and it was Shadow's form that he took when he broke free. He's the main antagonist of Shadow's story in 06, and even though his primary goal is rejoining with Iblis, he takes a vested interest in trying to manipulate Shadow over to his side by showing him the worst of what humans will do to him - not unlike Black Doom, honestly, though he was focused on Shadow's past instead.
Plus, it's been so long! We thought we would never get to see Mephiles again! What have you got for us, game?
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Mephiles: "I will defeat you, then restore myself to the timeline." Shadow: "I don't know what you're talking about, but I will crush you all the same." Mephiles: "What? Did you forget about me AGAIN?"
*deep sigh*
Contradictory dialogue back-to-back. I see. Cool.
Mephiles should not be surprised that Shadow doesn't remember who he is, because he literally JUST SAID that his goal is to restore himself to the timeline. He KNOWS that he never existed, and therefore SHOULD KNOW that nobody he encounters will remember him. I'm convinced that he only reacted this way because the writers thought it would be funny, and that's it.
Even if it made sense, though, Mephiles isn't supposed to be funny. He's supposed to be ominous and threatening. For as much care that went into recreating this environment and his powers/body language from 06 (and I gotta say, this whole section looks extremely nice), none of that same care really seemed to go into his personality. He's just as drab as Neo Metal, occasionally repeating lines from 06 so that you know they played it and not much else.
The end of the fight features some absolutely unhinged dialogue from Shadow for no reason, though.
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Mephiles: "No... I want... to exist...! Shadow: "There is no future for you. Ever."
Look, I get it, they've done nothing but fight this whole time . But Shadow has no personal beef with this guy. Even if they're going with the idea that Shadow wouldn't care to learn what Mephiles is rambling on about (kind of boring, and why wouldn't he be curious about why someone like this has it out for him), there's no reason to go so far as to say he'll never have a future. Is this the "dark" part of that "dark warrior" thing they were talking about in the beginning?? Kind of a random place for it to jump out of him, if so.
The kind of intensity coming from Shadow here would be justified if he remembered who Mephiles was, but he doesn't. As it stands, it gives off the impression that he didn't actually process a single thing Mephiles said about wanting to exist and restore himself to the timeline, and just said the first cool, edgy retort that came to mind. Which makes the sentence both less cool and even more out of character.
After this boss finished playing out, all I could feel was disappointment and a creeping sense of emptiness. If this was how the game was handling Mephiles, of all characters, if this was the extent of what they were willing to do with an idea... the rest of the game suddenly seemed much less exciting. I got to this point, realized how comparatively little of the game was left, and thought oh no.
Now, uh... where was I in the story, again?
Oh right, Shadow was about to go save Maria. I actually have no notes on that scene, it's pretty good and I liked that Maria was immediately thrown off by his aggressive fighting style and whatnot. It implies a lot about what Shadow used to be like without really showing or telling us, and that's pretty neat.
The following cutscene where Gerald explains how Shadow's growing powers only make Black Doom stronger in the process is also fine, there's nothing super specific for me to gripe about it in isolation.
And this good streak it has going is immediately interrupted by the worst, most nonsensical scene in the entire game.
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Sonic: "I found you, Shadow!" Shadow: "The blue hedgehog... of all places..." Sonic: "You have something I need." Shadow: "You can wait until my business is finished." Sonic: "Yea sorry, but that Chaos Emerald and I have a date with a monster!" Shadow: "Well then, it'll be a date to die for."
This is. a really stilted conversation, no matter what way you look at it. On one hand, it's repurposed dialogue from two different scenes haphazardly mashed together, neither of which should represent their current dynamic anymore since they were both antagonistic at the time. And on the other, it just... completely lacks character from both of them. They're so unbelievably dry despite their attempts to sound quirky, it's actually impressive.
I have to ask - have the script writers not heard the incessant complaints from fans about there being too many references in modern Sonic dialogue?? Because this scene plays out like an actual parody of that trend, the kind I would expect to see on twitter or something. I initially saw the animation for this cutscene without audio due to leaks, and I thought it looked pretty cool because the animation was nicely done.
Boy, when I tell you I was stunned to discover that THIS was the actual, official dialogue. What happened here?? Why is this what Sonic cutscenes are turning into?? In a game that costs $50-$60??And people are saying it's the best Sonic game???
Somehow, the god-awful dialogue isn't even the only thing that's wrong with this scene, but I'll compile the rest in bullet points to speed it up a little.
Shadow suddenly shows up in Sonic's section of White Space, despite it not being visible from a distance and therefore giving no reason for Shadow to venture out that far
Sonic says he "found" Shadow as if he was looking for him, even though the only people Sonic has seen here other than his and Tails' past selves are people who were at his birthday party
Classic Sonic is neither seen nor mentioned despite the extremely fun potential of having him interact with Shadow
A purple portal conveniently shows up in front of Sonic and Shadow while they're talking for no reason
The boss fight with Sonic is just a cutscene (lame), and Shadow gets taken out completely by one solid bonk from Sonic (even lamer)
The fake Chaos Emerald switcheroo, while clever, is presented as if it was done deliberately when it was clearly a coincidence that it got knocked out of Shadow instead of the real one
(I guess this technically happens before the Mephiles fight so my faith in this game was already plummeting, but I was willing to tolerate this scene being bad because I could understand them not wanting to add too much to Sonic's side of things. They had completely free reign with Mephiles and still delivered nothing, which is why it really cemented itself in my head)
The one thing I really liked here was seeing Shadow almost use his Doom powers to defeat Sonic, deciding against it, and his hesitation being what lost him the match. Shadow refusing to fight Sonic on unequal terms is some really good characterization that I was happy to see.
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Black Doom: "The promised time is nigh upon us, Shadow. Soon, you will be mine."
So did we ever learn what the "promised time" was, exactly? I've played every route of Shadow the Hedgehog (some more than once) and still can't remember. If he's referring to the time when Shadow awakens his full power then I guess it makes sense, but otherwise it's kind of an oxymoron considering that time doesn't exist in White Space.
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Gerald: "He has grown a new body, and used the nebulous nature of time in White Space to accelerate his plans for revenge."
Shadow, buddy, your animation is positively kickin' right now but Gerald, I'm gonna need you to do literally anything other than just repeat the same lackluster explanation we got earlier as if that's going to make it any less confusing. What ABOUT the nebulous nature of time? Is time not largely just frozen here?? We're somehow around 3/4s into this story and I still have NO idea how anything works
Maria calms Shadow down from his frankly justified anger by holding his hand and talking about how she doesn't want him to be driven by darkness. They find a way to throw in the fact that apparently Maria named him "Shadow" because the presence of a shadow can show you where to find the light, and it's... nice? Very wholesome, but it feels awkwardly placed and I'm not sure anyone was seriously asking why he was named that. Like, of all the questions to spend this game's limited screentime answering, "why is he named Shadow" was probably not at the top of most people's lists.
And before you have a chance to think about it, we're already at the endgame.
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Shadow: "I'm letting go of that destructive anger."
Wow, and in the very next scene after it was brought to your attention, too! You sure do grow fast, Shadow!
Okay, all jokes aside, there's not much I can say about the pacing in this game other than It's Rushed and Bad, but I think it's finally time to talk about Gerald and Maria.
Gerald first: He's mostly just here to give out exposition. His relationship with Shadow is much less focused on than Maria's, which I find to be really frustrating because I always had a lot of questions about how those two interacted. In SA2, we only know him as a grieving, hate-filled man who was heavily implied to have scientifically messed with Shadow's mind - not long after they had both just lost Maria - in order to make him inclined towards Gerald's revenge plan.
In Shadow's first game, we see a side to him from before then, when he really seemed to care for Shadow and we got some clarity on the purpose of the Eclipse Cannon and whatnot. But what were their average interactions like? Who was in charge of Shadow's training? If it was Gerald, did that ever create a sense of distance between them? Shadow never has warm, nostalgic flashbacks of him, so I assumed their relationship either wasn't as close or he has too many conflicting feelings now for those memories to be very comforting.
This game decides to lean into Gerald being a kind, supportive man, but regardless, Shadow's feelings should be a lot more complicated, no?
I'd imagine that, in a way, it's a relief to have this Gerald around again. It would make it easier to pretend that the man who used him in an attempt to destroy the world and go against everything Maria stood for was just... a fluke, or something.
But still, Shadow knows that he would do bad things to him if Maria died. It's already happened.
Dark Beginnings also suggested that either Shadow was there when he shot down by the firing squad (unlikely given the context), or he watched the recording that played at the end of SA2 enough to be able to see it in his dreams. Neither of those are good for his psyche, and would only add to the number of emotions he has to suppress whenever they interact. There is, of course, none of this nuance within the game itself, despite it being right there and ready to be worked with.
Then you've got Maria, and. hoo boy.
I take no real issue with any of Maria's traits that are on display. Her being a nice girl with boundless energy and goodwill does not make her boring, and I've always been fascinated by her character. So, I need you guys to understand that it's with a heavy heart that I must say that Maria is... barely a character in this game.
And like, she doesn't exactly have a history of being deep or complex. But we've also only ever seen her in Shadow's memories up until this point, and that means this game was a unique opportunity to flesh her out more.
When a character is as idealized by another as Maria is by Shadow, and we only see them through that lens, it's natural to assume that the depiction isn't completely accurate. I was never in doubt that Maria was kind and gentle, or that she was always there to help Shadow when she knew he was struggling, but I always wanted to know what she was like outside of that. What makes her angry? What was she like on a bad day, when she inevitably got frustrated at her lot in life? How did Shadow comfort her? What was her sense of humor like?
While we technically learn more things about Maria in this game, there's never a point where she acts differently from Shadow's vision of her. She's not really shown to have flaws, and she's only really there to be saved and offer emotional support. It's like... a textbook example of what you shouldn't be doing when writing a female character, having her be defined entirely by her relationship with the male lead and never speaking up or complaining about her own problems or feelings. They don't even make a point out of it, that Maria tempers herself to be "perfect" for other people or anything like that.
Why don't we get to see how she and Shadow would handle an argument or something like that? Especially this Shadow, who's all shaken up by everything? Wouldn't it be beneficial for both of their characters for Maria to be seen as herself, the way she was in life, rather than just the nicest moments she and Shadow had together?
I'm gonna make a comparison here that people aren't gonna like, but... I think Elise is honestly shown to be a more nuanced character than Maria is. And this is coming from someone who thinks that she was also mishandled in her game.
Similar to Maria, Elise is genuinely a deeply caring person, and lives mostly isolated with a condition of sorts that makes her life difficult. Her most important relationship is also with the male lead of her respective game, but she doesn't exist solely for his benefit. (Amusingly, Sonic actually seems to be there primarily to further her arc, so it's a bit of a role swap there.)
But we see more from Elise than just Being Nice all the time. We see her being resolute and bold in the face of danger, or disappointed when she has to go back to the castle. We watch her try her hardest not to cry and retain her strong, regal exterior when faced with overwhelming emotion.
We get to see her open up and laugh and become more confident, we watch as someone who's been forced to put her feelings aside for the convenience (and safety) of others her whole life finally break down and shout something selfish for once. And then we watch her ultimately choose to do the right thing, anyway. Her strength of character is shown to us by putting her in situations that challenge her, and the narrative never once shames her for being imperfect; it's actually encouraging her to be her real, flawed self.
Why does Maria not get this same treatment? Why don't we get cutscenes of her being excited about the new environment she's in, or frustrated that her symptoms are making it difficult to do anything here? When does she get to be selfish? Why can't she get upset at people treating her like she's frail, even if it technically "makes sense" for them to do so?
We're told, in Gerald's journal, that some of the people aboard the ARK doubted that Maria was really sick due to her symptoms not being clearly visible. Because it's his journal, we only get to hear his feelings on the matter, but in the full game, we never once get to know how it makes Maria feel, the person this is all about to begin with. They absolutely could have incorporated this into a cutscene somewhere, but they didn't.
Once again, I have to ask: what is the point of Maria and Gerald being in this game if this was how they were going to be written? Not only does Shadow fail to even attempt to save their lives, he doesn't even walk away from the experience with renewed understanding of who they were as people.
So what even happens in this story, then?? Every single aspect of it is dragged down constantly by the game's refusal to do anything with what it has:
Shadow revisits places from his past, but has nothing to say about them
Shadow visits places from the future, but has nothing to say about them
He has nothing relevant or interesting to say about any of the bosses
Mephiles trying to restore himself to the timeline is a plot point that exists solely within his boss fight and nowhere else
He doesn't struggle with any of the bosses, emotionally or physically, turning them into a boring power trip
He barely struggles with his Doom powers, the things that are supposed to be giving him an identity crisis
Sonic is not a playable boss fight and he also says nothing relevant or interesting
Classic Sonic doesn't even get a passing mention
The Team Dark friendship is supposed to be a highlight but Shadow never speaks to Omega, who also never shows up in cutscenes, and Rouge is just kinda there
Maria and Gerald never meet Rouge and Omega, or anybody else on-screen, despite it being extremely easy for them to run into each other
Shadow's relationships with Maria and Gerald are barely explored past their surface
Most importantly, Shadow is never shown making any sort of effort to save Maria and Gerald from their fates, despite it being one of his primary goals
...Oh yeah, I forgot to complain about how Shadow barely struggles with his Doom powers. I was gonna go on a whole spiel about how it would've been super easy to make into an arc and how it was wildly underutilized despite being a major selling point of the game, and the only real consistent conflict whenever Black Doom isn't on screen.
Well. Anyway. Once the White Space becomes Red Space (something that once again makes me question how far away Sonic's area is, to not be able to see this happening), Shadow magically gets over his "destructive anger" and goes to Radical Highway one last time for the epic final boss.
And it certainly is epic, I can't deny that. A massive technical improvement over the first fight against Devil Doom, and I'm not about to sit here and act like the wings aren't cool. But I can't say it feels very rewarding, since I never really understood what was going on and Shadow didn't really struggle that much to get to this point. Not to mention, he's still acting all high and mighty during boss fights, which makes it feel stale really quickly. Black Doom isn't really that interesting by himself, so Shadow kinda needed to carry that fight, but no, it's just more of the same.
One last point before I wrap this up:
Where was Emerl???
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but a promo animation for a game should, in theory, provide you some idea as to what kind of things to expect in the game itself. While a lot of them take their share of creative liberties, I don't think they're in the habit of putting spotlight on entire characters who never appear in the game at all.
This is THE GAME where we bring back the people from Shadow's past that he's lost, and Emerl most certainly qualifies. He's from the more recent past, yes, but Shadow still cared about him and absolutely would have been affected by his death. There's no way that, had he been in the story, Shadow wouldn't have been determined to save him as well. But no, he's just there to be a cool lore detail in Gerald's journal.
Which means this is yet another depiction of Emerl where we refuse to acknowledge his personality. Do they seriously think Emerl is more interesting as an emotionless killing machine that Gerald researched in his spare time? Where's the fun-loving kid who mimicked everyone around him, splicing things he heard them say together to communicate and creating funny tonal whiplash? Where's the robot with the soul that Gerald gave him, that was nurtured by Sonic and his friends?
Not in this game, apparently! They went out of their way to canonize Battle and still managed to treat it with zero respect. Kind of impressive, really, and just another footnote in the trend of this game not actually caring to do anything with Shadow's past.
There are definitely moments in this game that I like, but that's kind of all they are: moments. The game's total cutscene runtime is around 30 minutes, and that means there's not enough time in any of them to get anything done. A scene that's good in isolation is tainted by the fact that it's all there is.
And it's just... so baffling to me. There are so, so many points in this game where you could have fit additional cutscenes in. We could have had one after each act, or at least after each level. Give us more cutscenes after activating things in the hub world or something. I mean, a game that claims to be this story-driven doesn't usually need an excuse to throw cutscenes at you, and they certainly didn't need to force each scene to be so unbelievably short.
If they really needed to downsize on cutscene length for some reason, then maybe they should have just made a less ambitious story. The game wants to do so many things at once, but it doesn't have the time to do any of those things justice. We could have gotten a short, sweet, well-done little story, but instead we get a story that easily needed at least two hours to tell crunched into a measly 30 minutes.
I mean, Dark Beginnings in its entirety is half the length of the full game. Think about that for a second.
This game's story was supposed to be something, man. It's getting so much praise for what feels to me like the bare bones structure of a story, and it's frustrating because I know this series can do better. The writer of this game can do better, and I know that because I've read his other Sonic material and it feels much more complete than this does.
I was genuinely looking forward to this game, is the thing. I really didn't think it would be this lackluster, because like I said at the beginning of this post, it had everything in the world going for it. But no matter how nice it feels to have a Shadow who isn't wildly out of character for once, that alone can't carry an entire story.
Shadow Generations is a mess of good ideas executed in the least interesting, most nothing way possible. Its only real saving grace is its animation, and the fact that Shadow generally feels like himself.
Except for when he's talking to Sonic. What the heck happened when he was talking to Sonic
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sanityshorror · 20 days ago
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PLEASE give us some tips on writing horror, PLEASE
Honestly, I might do a video about this, as I get asked this/things along the lines of this rather often lol. Off the top of my head though, the most simple but important tips I can give:
Have an actual plot. It doesn't need to be super complex, it doesn't need to build an entire universe, it doesn't need to be ‘orignal’ (literally all artistic expressions are inspired by art that came before, it's impossible to create something truly original), and it doesn't even have to be unique. It just needs to be very solid and it should not be convoluted. And no, the horror of the story is not the plot of the story. The basic plot should be able to work in different genres. The story you tell with the plot and the execution is where you bring the horror.
Don't let your book become overly convoluted. You can tell a complex and rich story without adding every single detail about every single thing. Some things might seem a bit out of place without you including excessive lore, but it's better to just focus on the story you're telling in your book rather than try to explain every single aspect. Also, it adds much more mystery when you don't explain everything!
What is the villain's motive? What are the reasons for the villain's actions? And most importantly, what is your reason for telling the story? Do you have one? (Because you need to have one.)
Show, don't tell. This is off the top of my head without editing so it's not great, but as a general example of what not to write vs what to write: “He smacked the butt of his gun against her head and knocked her unconscious.” [❌] VS “Steel violently collided into bone creating an earsplitting, nasty, unmistakable cracking sound of a skull breaking. The woman's unconscious body thudded to the ground in an unceremonious manner. Blood poured from her head, pooling on the polished, hardwood floor on which she laid crumpled.” [✅] Same scene, but I don't think I need to explain the difference of why the first sucks and why the second is compelling.
If you aren't making yourself uncomfortable and horrified, you aren't going to horrify your readers. Push the limits.
Pacing: don't rush the story and gloss over important aspects of it because you want to get it done or you feel like it's just 'too much effort.' That does not mean adding filler to lengthen the story, either. All scenes and events should be relevant to the conclusion, if it's not relevant, then leave it out. If it is relevant, focus on writing it and doing it as well as you can. I would say for a short story, aim for a minimum of 4k words. For a book, a minimum of 25k words.
Bonus tip: over the top, excessive angst is not horror. Don't confuse the two and don't replace horror with angst. Yes, there may be a lot of overlap at times BUT you cannot write horror without the majority of the story being horror. I add this because I've seen a lot of new horror writers confuse the two and it just comes off as rather goofy when it's executed.
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surfclangen · 10 months ago
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Good and Bad news
Howdy guys! I don't talk to y'all one on one too much, but I want to keep you in the loop.
To start off, I am so super thankful for the support this comic has received!! This is my first real venture into comic making, I am so incredibly grateful to have such a positive reception.
Onto the bad news, y'all may have noticed my posting speed has slowed. I'm very busy in college (graduating with my AA this summer!) between a radio show, being president of the creative writing club, and keeping up with homework, which means I don't have a ton of time to work on personal projects, and when I do, I try to chase what gives me the most dopamine. This isn't super relevant, however, just a peek into my creative process.
The Bad News
Surfclan is going to go onto hiatus after the next two posts so I can work on the overarching story I want to portray. These two posts will finish Arc 1 of Surfclan, which I am happy with and have ironed out, but the draft I have for the rest of the series is kind of cobbled together and not satisfying, certainly not work I'm proud of. If I'm going to dedicate so much time to something, I want it to be work that I am proud of. As a writing student too, it's not right to put so little effort into the writing.
I went into Surfclan without a plan. I wanted a coastal set of clans to worldbuild with, but I had no idea for plot. I let the generator decide what that plot would be, which is fine! But I wasn't given much besides a clan that grew at a decently steady rate and got into occasional shenanigans. I need to put those pieces together properly and figure out how to best portray the themes I want in a respectful manner (right now, there's a heavy theme of colonialism that I just don't think I'm quite ready to handle tactfully.)
If you aren't using Surfclan, can I?
Absolutely! Please feel free to use Surfclan as background characters or cats to fill out gatherings. I am always happy to organize plots in DMs and weave it into Surfclan's eventual finalized script. As long as my babies are kept relatively in character, I have no issues with making it canon. If they aren't, no worries! It just won't be canon to Surfclan. Think of it like an AU!
When will you be back?
I'm not sure, but I'm always happy to answer DMs if you want to chit chat, and I will make a post announcing Surfclan's return when I am ready.
What's the good news then?
Surfclan was always designed to be a "for fun" project that I didn't put too much effort into, hence the scattered upload schedule and art styles, but now that I've experimented a bit, I'm ready to get into comic making more seriously. While I brainstorm ideas for Surfclan I will be shifting focus towards a new Clangen blog loosely based on marshmallow_cat3's Dark Forest challenge and @gray-thistleclan .
Cottonmouth Clan has distinct win and lose conditions and a solidified plot with mysteries to discover. I'm currently working on world building and character design that will be posted to my main blog, @antlermoss. I will have a post up there when I have my details organized with the rules for the challenge, of which you are welcome to use in your own games and comics!
I will reblog Cottonmouth's starter post here when I am ready.
I appreciate your patience and understanding, and hope you guys enjoy the new project (:
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zippdementia · 2 months ago
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Metroid Retrospective: Super Metroid
And Super Metroid complete. For the 50th time in my life (I haven't kept track but I wouldn't be surprised).
Completion time: 2:05 (I could have done sub-2hr but I went to some of my favorite unnecessary rooms just for fun and took an extra minute to "save the animals")
Item rate: 55%
Super Metroid is a phenomenon. Released in March, 30 years ago, it remains enjoyable, approachable, fresh, and relevant to this day, an accomplishment that few other games can match, and extremely few action/adventure games.
Also, few games do atmosphere this well. Even coming recently from games with far more complex graphics, like Zero Mission and Fusion, there is something wonderfully somatic about the sprites used in Super Metroid. Sprites might not be super detailed, but they feel "weighty" and enjoyable to look at, the same way old cartoons (in the style of Cuphead, for instance) are just fun to look at. Super Metroid's art is simple but perfect. Every single bit of every single graphical block or sprite is absolutely necessary to illustrate what it is and give the feel of it, and no bit is wasted. It's like it has found the purest essence of sci-fi, action, and horror. The same praise extends to its soundtrack. And honestly, even to its story, which is distilled down to the most critical parts and which still leaves me emotional after 50 times viewing the ending. The whole thing is timeless.
Beyond this, the lasting nature of the game comes down to the move-sets given to Samus and the willingness of the developers to let players use these move sets to sequence break -- to break the order of play that the developers intended by reaching items, locations, and bosses early. I'm not a master sequence breaker, but as an example I managed to reach Kraid without the High Jump and to collect the Wave Beam and Power Bombs early, which saved me about thirty minutes of playtime.
Because of this openness, Super Metroid becomes like a huge playground. If you are new to it, then it leads you on an exceptionally atmospheric journey, with scripted moments and sprite animations that still are impressive and well paced in 2024. For these players, they may never even discover half the moves you can do, like Shinesparking and Turbo Bombing, because they aren't needed to beat the game.
But if you are experienced and know how to use these tricks, then the game becomes something else entirely, a series of reflex challenges to see how much you can "break" the game using these techniques. It's like a game that made glitching part of its mission (because the game doesn't actually glitch out when you sequence break).
I think that many open world games which claim to give the players choices actually don't; they give the illusion of choice but compensate by making those choices unimportant or very brief in their effects on the game world. Super Metroid, though it doesn't let you change anything in the story, actually does give you choices that matter and a world that is open world not by default but becomes more so the better at the game you get.
I only have one complaint about the game and that is that having to hold down a button to run is painful. Switching weapons is a little clunky, too, but doesn't ultimately disrupt my gameplay. However, I have no idea how I ever played this as a kid without realizing how awkward it is to have to constantly hold a run button.
There. I found something legit to complain about. One complaint against a game that forever changed the genre and has been the foundation for hundreds of later games.
World record speed run for Super Metroid currently stands at about 45 minutes, by the way. And people are still discovering new ways to beat it.
Current Ranking:
1) Super Metroid
2) Fusion
3) Zero Mission
4) Metroid 1
Games remaining:
Metroid Prime (SWITCH)
Metroid Pinball (DS)
Prime: Hunters (3DS)
Metroid II: Return of Samus (SWITCH - Gameboy emulator)
Metroid II: Samus Returns (remake of II) (3DS)
Metroid Fusion (SWITCH - GBA emulator)
Metroid Dread (SWITCH)
Fan made: Another Metroid 2 Remake
If I can find a way to play (have played in the past):
Prime 2 (WiiU via Prime Trilogy)
Prime 3 (WiiU via Prime Trilogy)
Other M (Wii)
Not playing:
Federation Force (3DS)
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tapwrites · 2 years ago
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Exposition is Learning
Stories aren't just made up of what happens, but of facts--fictional as created by the writer, or real-world facts that are important to the story.
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Speculative fiction in particular has a lot of these, because they take place in a world different from our own. But real-world stories may have details a lot of readers don't already know. Imparting such facts about how the world/reality of the story works can be vital if the reader is to get the most out of the story... or even understand it at all!
We need to...
Teach about the story through the story.
Remember people read novels for the story. If it isn't clear how a piece of text adds to the story, they won't want to read it. So they won't want to learn from it.
How can we use that principle to teach the reader without them noticing?
It was the Fifth Corner in Althoria, with Lumina and Umbra intertwining where the tapestry of Veridium unfolds.
The reader has got to be able to understand what they're reading, even if that's guessing through context clues. Or they're not going to take in any of it in the first place. There are 5 new terms in that example, with no context clues to help the reader out.
We could rename some of them to make them easier to understand. But I'm going to avoid actually changing anything for now. Let's just add some context clues...
It was the Fifth Corner of the year in the kingdom of Althoria, with the Lumina and Umbra magicks intertwining where the royal tapestry of Veridium was being unfolded.
Okay, so the "fifth corner" is to do with time... like a season, or month perhaps. We've got a kingdom, two kinds of magic, and what seems like a literal physical tapestry that relates to them.
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Is it teaching us anything about the story? Well, it's not very clear how it's related to the story. It seems to be just some facts about the world, but we're not motivated to want to know them. It's an info-dump.
There's no reason for us to read it apart from being told stuff about the world. Maybe it'll become relevant later in the book, but right now we just don't care to read this kind of stuff.
There are readers who don't mind a big ol' wall-of-text at the start setting up the world. Tolkien's tome starts very exposition-heavy. So you might get away with it. But then again, a lot of people have tried and failed to make it past the first chapter of Lord of the Rings.
For most readers it's much better, and more enjoyable to read, if the exposition is part of the story... sprinkled in through the book in places where it's relevant to what's happening.
And, of course, if you want the reader to already know something by the time they get to the relevant part... by all means, plant it earlier in the story. But still, make it relevant at the time they read it.
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One way of making it relevant is having a character care about it.
"The leaves are falling! The Fifth Corner starts today!" Rav shouted, hopping on the spot. "Isn't it exciting?"
Woah there, Rav! Calm down! Okay, so this guy called Rav is super excited for whatever Fifth Corner is. Something to do with the leaves falling, so... autumn perhaps? I want to find out more--what's so exciting about it?
Let's add another detail back in. We'll give it more detail than a simple name-drop, by putting a knowledgeable character in front of it.
Gann sighed. "Yay for you..." she mumbled, planting a hand on his head to stop it from bobbing in front of her. They turned onto the bustling high street and moved with the crowds. She looked up at the palace towering at the end of the miles-long road, and watched the giant form wrapped about the spire slowly unfurl. The Great Tapestry. It was an ancient device that had laid dormant all year, until now--the Fifth Corner. As it stretched out, it drew in the magic of the land, enriching the earth in the process, and powering the celebrations that were soon to come.
What's happening, story-wise? Gann sees this Great Tapestry. Which, naturally, makes her think about what it is. And as she's the viewpoint character, we're seeing those thoughts and learning from them.
So, by itself, that last paragraph could be seen as exposition-only. But it's not just there for no reason. It's "motivated" by the narrative. The character would think about what they're looking at; that's part of the story.
Find a narrative excuse to teach the reader.
This is the fundamental trick to use. Give the reader an excuse, and you can talk about whatever you want to. At least for a little while.
Here, the object is seen. So the writer has an excuse to talk about it. Gann knows about the Great Tapestry, so when she sees it she thinks about what she knows about it. Simple as that.
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Another common excuse is to have a character who doesn't know something that's relevant, and another character who does. Now the unknowledgeable character can learn things the writer wants the reader to learn.
Like Watson in the Sherlock Holmes stories; he may not do a lot to solve the cases, but he's very useful to have around so that Holmes has someone to explain things to.
So we could re-write the previous example like so:
The palace towered at the end of the miles-long road. Rav's eyes went wide. "Woah," he said, in hushed tones. "What's that huge thing on the palace?" Gann looked up as the giant form wrapped about the spire slowly unfurled. "The Great Tapestry," she said. "Know what that is?" Rav shook his head.
You can use any character who doesn't understand whatever you want to teach the reader. They're in the same position as the reader; they know as much as the reader does about the topic. So they can find out the same way the reader could if they were in the world. They can ask questions, they can be taught by others. They can learn by investigation.
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Just make sure they're an actual character though. If they only exist to stand there and be told things, they're just a prop. But they should have their own stuff going on, and be part of the story too.
And you don't have to rely on that same character all the time; different characters might know and not-know different things. Rav is young and doesn't know about the Great Tapestry. Maybe Gann is from another realm, and doesn't know much about the kingdom of Althoria apart from the magic. They can teach each other things as needed, and the reader can listen in.
This principle also lets you "emote" with a character the reader identifies with--in awe, or terror, or curiosity. And, as the reader identifies with them anyway, that's a cue for how they should be feeling while reading as well!
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Note, this is different to "maid and butler dialogue," in which two characters that both know the facts just tell each other what they already know:
"As you know, the mistress is coming back from town today," said the maid. "Yes, and as you know, her son has been crying for her ever since she left," said the butler.
That's not how people talk to one another in real life. People usually skip giving all the context, relying on the context they think the other shares, and talks about new stuff.
"Everything ready?" said the maid. The butler laughed bitterly, under his breath. "It will be. Barely." He leaned in and whispered, "As long as it stops the kid from yowling, I can cope with a swift return at the drop of a hat."
This is a lot more natural. And while it gives the reader some hints, it lets them discover the details more naturally as things unfold.
Plus, when the characters are conversing naturally, instead of machines for spouting facts at the reader, we get a better sense of how they feel about the situation, and who they are as people--making them feel more real in the process.
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antspaul · 4 days ago
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3, 8, 12 abortion fic!
unhappening, 10k, charles/lando, abortion
3. How did you find the visuals for this fic? Is there a method you have?
i'll take visuals to mean setting and imagery - i actually struggled with scene setting a bit on two different fronts: envisioning how the different elements of the paddock all fit together; and the logistics of the abortion clinic (which is akin to a private women's health clinic). i resolved both of these issues by choosing to be a bit vague with where certain encounters took place. i looked up some private health facilities in europe and took light inspiration from those + my own experience working in an outpatient surgery as inspo for what the clinic looked like.
the scenes that took place in monaco were loosely inspired by what i remembered from charles's vlogs. only loosely though - i try not to get TOO bogged down in the actual specific details of a character's IRL life. i prefer to play with what's possible instead of what's fact. like, rather than describe the exact places that lando and charles lived, i tried to describe places that i thought fit lando and charles's character arcs and emotions at that point in time (i.e. lando's empty, corporate apartment building to which he has little emotional connection vs. charles's building situated within a community that lando can feel).
certainly not a novel approach lol! but i rly enjoy working with setting when it's relevant and the tone fits <3
8. What inspired the title for this fic? Is that usually how you choose titles?
i think i used the word "un-happening" during one of our brainstorming sessions for this fic and it stuck out to me then as a possible title! i used it in the fic here:
He’s glad Charles is taking care of what needs taking care of. There’s just a lot to wrap his mind around and never enough time to do it, happening and unhappening so fast Lando can’t track it.
Here Lando is struggling to wrap his mind around the facts that 1. Charles has been pregnant with his baby and 2. the only time that he has to process that is when Charles is in the act of aborting it. So he never got the chance to consider the pregnancy or the baby as real possibilities before they didn't exist - in a sense, they never happened. Which is also what this section is getting at:
What happened earlier this week doesn’t count, not really. Lando won’t deny that. That clump of cells inside Charles was never going to be anything regardless, so who cares that Charles erased it from the narrative? It was nothing; it never existed.
More than that, "unhappening" refers to how Charles and Lando consider secondary gender. In an omegaverse society in which your designation isn't revealed until you're a teenager, being an alpha or omega is becomes an event; it's something that happens to someone.
The way that I conceptualized biology here is that outside of heat/rut, the differences between a male omega and male alpha aren't super obvious. In addition to secondary gender happening to a young alpha/omega upon their first heat/rut, secondary gender an event with only recurring biological relevancy a few times a year (unless you're pregnant). Charles doesn't see being an omega as a culturally-constructed category, only a recurring physical one (he grew up not thinking of presenting omega as a remote possibility until it happened to him); on the other hand, Lando (who grew up being treated like an omega, even without the biological experiences of one) thinks of being an omega as a more immutable cultural category.
The tension between the two of them essentially boils down to this: Charles thinks that being an omega is an event that he can prevent or erase when it happens to him; Lando views it as a much more significant part of his own story, and fundamentally disagrees that it's something that can be outrun, or erased - that it can't "unhappen" (because nothing can).
This was a long answer omg... but thank you for giving me the chance to talk about this!! this is definitely not how i usually title fics LOL i'm notoriously finicky about titles and usually just choose a song lyric.
12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?
not really! there were moments when I wished that I could make Charles's interiority a bit more obvious or explore what he was feeling. I have a lot of thoughts on how this version of Charles might feel about parenthood and children - and why his career complicates that. But ultimately Lando POV didn't allow for that LOL his narration tends to be a bit self-centered.
There were more details I wanted to explore with Lando and his mum that felt like they would take up too much space and mess up the pacing if I went into them. For example, in this universe Lando's mum was told, after his youngest sister was born, that future pregnancies would be quite risky. So I had a short snippet planned where Lando thinks about sitting with his mum afterwards in the waiting room of a clinic, an experience that looking back he realized might have been her getting an abortion.
THANK YOU ELLE <3
🎬 Behind-the-Scenes Fic Asks 🎬
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bi-bard · 3 years ago
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Hunting Practice - Jack Kline Imagine (Supernatural)
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Title: Hunting Practice
Pairing: Jack Kline X Reader
Word Count: 1,450 words
Warning(s): canon-typical violence
Summary: Sam gets a call from a friend asking for some back-up on a case. He decides that it's a good time for Jack to get a shot at the hunting life.
Author's Note: grumpy character x sunshine character is my favorite thing!! Even though I apparently can't write grumpy characters.
Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)
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I didn't make a habit out of calling for help.
I never had.
So, the boys took it seriously when I did call.
"Hey, hey," I said, cutting off Sam's rambling. "It's not a hard hunt. Based on the news and stuff that I've seen, there seems to be more than one spirit and I don't wanna try to juggle fighting multiple dickheads while digging up a grave."
"It's an easy hunt," Sam asked.
"Yeah," I replied. I was immediately suspicious. "Why?"
"I... I have a friend that can help," he explained. "They're a bit new, but they're helpful. If this is an easy hunt, it could be good practice."
I rolled my eyes, "Sam, it takes a shit ton for me to call you. I'm not interested in training somebody."
"Please," he begged. "They need to get the chance to use what they're learning. Please give them a shot."
I sighed after a minute, "You are so lucky that I don't mind you and your brother."
"That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"Don't tempt me, Bigfoot."
"There it is."
"I'll be at the bunker in a few hours."
"See you then."
--time skip--
I walked down the bunker steps a few hours later. Sam was sitting at the table with someone. When he saw me, he stood up.
"Hey," he said. "How've you been?"
"Good," I replied. "I'm much better on the road."
"I only stopped you because you were hurt-"
"It was a flesh wound-"
"You needed stitches," Sam stopped me. "Anyway, this... is Jack."
Sam motioned at the person behind him. Jack picked up their hand as a way to wave at me.
"Hello," they greeted happily.
I could already tell that I was going to hate this.
"Hi," I clenched my jaw a little as I responded. "Ready?"
They nodded and grabbed their bag.
"Good luck," Sam called out as Jack and I left.
--Sam's P.O.V--
"So, why didn't you go with (Y/n)," Dean asked after the pair were gone.
"Jack needs to get out and practice," I shrugged. "We don't have a case. This is the best choice."
"Yeah... you aren't playing matchmaker at all," he continued.
"No," I scoffed. "Pretty sure (Y/n) would rip Jack's head off before anything like that happened."
"So... you're trying to soften (Y/n) up a bit by sending in the most cheerful person we know?"
"No, it's just hunting practice."
"Alright, Sammy," Dean said before going to leave.
--time skip--
--(Y/n)'s P.O.V--
The hunt wasn't super far out from the bunker, but when you're driving everywhere, it always takes longer.
The drive was... a lot.
Jack was talkative. They continued trying to make conversation and tell me stories. I wasn't one for long and detailed conversations. When I was hunting, I focused on the hunt and relevant information. Everything else I just kind of shrugged off and didn't pay any mind to.
Jack seemed committed to talking my damn ear off.
We had about two hours left in the drive when I looked over and saw Jack nodding off.
"Hey," I said, tapping their arm. They jumped a little. "Don't leave one person awake on their own when you're on a long drive."
"Is that... Is that a rule," Jack asked.
"Well... not officially," I replied. "It's just rude."
"I'm sorry," they muttered tiredly, rubbing the sleep out of their eye.
I just nodded and focused back on the road.
When we pulled up to the motel, I told Jack to head inside while I pulled out my phone. I quickly dialed Sam's number when the door to the room closed.
"Sam," I said, leaning on my car.
"Hey, is everything alright," he asked.
"Yeah, yeah," I nodded. "Listen, I get the idea. Send Jack hunting with someone around their age, right?"
"I thought it'd be good for them," he explained.
"Yeah, I get that," I replied. "Why didn't you warn me that they were the physical embodiment of the baby-faced sun from the Teletubbies."
Sam chuckled, "Jack is not that bad."
"My migraine begs to differ."
"Listen," he sighed. "Give them a shot. Jack can do good work on hunts. I wouldn't have asked you to work with them if I didn't trust them."
I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Fine. Fine."
"Thank you," he said. "Good luck."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered.
--Jack's P.O.V--
"I think (Y/n) hates me," I told Dean as I sat on one of the beds.
"No, they don't," he replied. "(Y/n) is just a bit colder than most. A lot of bad crap."
I didn't reply for a moment.
"Listen, it's not my job to share all of (Y/n)'s baggage, but," Dean sighed, "(Y/n) doesn't make connections very often. Probably has more walls than I do. Good heart, though. Good at what they do. They don't hate you. They just don't open up to people."
"Okay," I muttered before the door opened. "Gotta go."
I hung up before Dean could reply.
"Who was that," (Y/n) asked.
"Dean," I replied. "He was checking that we made it to the motel alright."
(Y/n) just nodded and dropped their bag.
"Should we start working on the case?"
(Y/n) nodded again before grabbing a folder out of their bag. They held it out to me. I grabbed it and started looking over it.
"Every record sighting and disappearance in that house," (Y/n) explained. "It's how I figured out there were three spirits."
I nodded and read over the news. Maybe this hunt was going to work out.
--time skip--
--(Y/n)'s P.O.V--
We made it to the house the next night.
We had figured out where the bones had been buried, so we had everything in line for this to be a fast hunt.
And then a spirit snagged me as I got the things together to burn the bones.
I groaned after my back hit the wall. I fell to the ground. I pushed myself up quickly but was thrown against the wall again. I struggled to try and grab a weapon out of my pocket as the two other spirits appeared next to the one that had grabbed me.
I almost had my hand wrapped around my weapon when the spirits suddenly burned in front of me.
I looked up to see a scared Jack standing next to the hole of burning bodies.
I let out a breath and started walking over to them. Once I got close enough, Jack pulled me into a tight hug. I froze up. I awkwardly patted Jack's back, trying to fight the small grin that formed after they hugged me.
I stepped back a moment later.
"Are you okay," Jack asked.
I nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."
--time skip--
The drive home was a little bit different than the drive there.
Jack was just as talkative. I just didn't mind it as much. I talked a little bit more. That was it, really. It was just a little less tense.
It got quiet after a while.
I looked over and saw Jack had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. I was about to wake them up, but I stopped myself. With a small grin, I looked back toward the road, both of my hands settling on the steering wheel.
I didn't wake Jack up until we got back to the bunker.
"Hey," I said, nudging them lightly. "Home sweet home."
"I fell asleep again," Jack muttered. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I replied.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I don't mind."
I walked Jack inside so the brothers could see me and know that I wasn't hurt.
"How'd it go," Sam asked.
"No serious injuries," I reported. "Pretty quick for a new hunter."
I patted Jack on the back as I spoke.
"Thank you for letting me go with you," they smiled.
"Don't mention it," I waved them off.
Just before they left, Jack leaned over and kissed my cheek quickly. They took off before I could say anything. My eyes went wide, and I stammered, not knowing what to say in response to that.
Sam and Dean stared at me. I looked back at them. Dean started laughing as soon as he looked at me. Sam tried to hold back his chuckling.
"That was adorable," Dean teased. "Aww, look at your face!"
"Watch it, Winchester," I snapped, ignoring how warm my face felt. "You too, Sammy."
Sam held his hands up and nodded, looking down at the floor.
"I'll see you guys later-"
"When you come to visit Jack?"
"I will shoot you," I threatened as I walked out.
"Can't wait for the wedding!"
I flipped Dean off as I left.
What the actual fuck just happened?
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Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)
What I Write For
Some Original Characters
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saltwukong · 2 years ago
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Nitpick November #3: Fairy Tales
After a while, I finally managed to think of something significant about Volume 8 that amounts to a nitpick, and not something that makes me blindingly angry. It's one of those Miles-and-Kerry-isms, the dependence on old legends and fairy tales in-story that you can tell usually appears when they're doing some Plot Bullshit they didn't bother to properly set up.
Some people are probably going to be scandalized by hearing this, but I really...don't care about the 'thematic rules' as they apply to minor details. If a character's name doesn't relate to a color, I really don't care. If a character doesn't link back to some old legend or literature, I'm not bothered. Really, those aren't things that affect the story all that much, and that's what I care about: the story. I don't find these things absolutely necessary.
In fact, you could probably excise them and I wouldn't notice. In many characters, they have. But that only makes it all the more jarring when the whole fairy tale nonsense pops back up as something it was never meant to be: a hugely important part of the story.
I mean, they did that the first time, and it was already bad then. Our first true delve into overarching plot came in Volume 3, when the maidens were introduced and came packaged with a whole fairy tale bit that Pyrrha explains. The thing is, nobody in the audience cared about in-story fairy tales. Why would they? This isn't an urban fantasy show. They cared about the slaying of monsters with huge badass weapons. It shot the story into that abysmally frustrating "MAGIC IS REAL?" nonsense that was so rightfully mocked every time it appeared.
And that should've been the end of it. You got one free pass out of that because it ostensibly did double duty as worldbuilding. Made-up in-story fairy tales should have had absolutely zero presence or impact in the story from there forth. Yet, at the end of that volume a mere six episodes later, came "silver eyed warriors".
When you do that, just drop random legends and myths out of nowhere the second they're ostensibly relevant, you make it abundantly clear that you didn't really plan for this and are just making shit up as you go. That you're too lazy to actually, properly establish something--because if you weren't, you'd have other options than this, and better ones, too. Naturally, the silver eyes nonsense resulted in a lot of complaints of exactly that.
Volume 4 provides us this in the form of the Only Religion That Matters, with Generic Good God and Generic Evil God, and from then on whenever a character needs to swear they say "Gods!" or "Brothers" even though they've never done that before and it sounds really awkward. Again, another Old Legend featuring as the star of an exposition dump, this time from Qrow, to actually hammer in a plot for the heroes to navigate.
There's no new legends dropped for Volume 5 and 6, mostly because they're busy dealing with the first two--maidens and silver eyes. Volume 7 features no new legends as well, along with almost zero mention of either of those, because Volume 7 is awesome and can carry itself with a plot that doesn't rely on Randomly Generated Exposition Lore. But then of course, comes Volume 8.
In Volume 8, it's "maiden" this, "silver eyes" that, along with something new: "the girl who fell through the world". Because of how far we'd come, I knew the second that Oscar brought this random fairy tale up out of nowhere for no reason that it was going to be super important Plot Bullshit dropped out of nowhere, and I was right! This is supposed to be "foreshadowing" for the Ever After, the alternate "plot" Miles and Kerry pulled out of their ass after they finished bludgeoning, shredding, and burning the actual plot that Volume 7 had set up to that point. You would think that after nine years, these two would've learned that they can't get away with that, but not. They show their hand every time.
It's lazy. It gives the audience absolutely no reason to invest in a plot point and relies on their existing attachments surviving the awkward transitions (and they might have, had those existing attachments not been villainized and killed off). It's a hand-wave for when a plot just happens, with no input nor logical action from the cast themselves. There's no way to have characters drive plots like these because it's all referential, ordained crap.
It doesn't even have the guts to be original crap. RWBY has now entered the dull and unsatisfying world of Alice in Wonderland recaps, because creating original mythology to contain their writing decisions is too much work.
And all of this, for what? Am I supposed to be impressed that Miles and Kerry can crib Lewis Carrol like everyone else on the planet? Cause I'm not. This was never what RWBY was supposed to be about. Fairy Tales were an interesting feature and source of design notes when this show started, never a whole major facet of the story. I'm bored by this.
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poisonnxkki · 2 years ago
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Hi Poison, I'm an author who is currently writing a North African fantasy and I want to make sure I'm not offending any practicing witches who may read my story if I do publish it! One of my characters has been cursed by her mother, who is angry about the way her daughter lives. Because I have to raise the stakes, the character needs to find a plant and get it to the Old Witches to rid herself of the curse by a certain date. But what dates in your beliefs would make it so a curse stays forever?
Thanks for your question! I contemplated this question for a while because quite frankly, I’m not really the best person to answer it. I still want to help and will do my best to provide some suggestions but if you want a more accurate answer, I would suggest going to someone who is BIPOC!
As for dates, I don’t have any specific dates that could be helpful but I can give you moments that may be relevant.
Moon phases- phases like the new moon have been associated with curses for a long time. Also, phases like the super-moon, which are more rare, are considered to be powerful.
Eclipses- both solar and lunar eclipses have positive and negative associations and are often used in stories as a “doom’s day” dates (Avatar the last Airbender is an example).
Days associated with a deity- this will take some research but if your old witches worship a specific deity then you could use a date that is significant to them as the day that the curse fully manifests.
Zodiac signs- this may not be relevant but you could make the day the beginning or the end of a specific zodiac. For example, the planetary ruler of Aries is Mars which is associated with war and aggression.
I would stay away from days like the Sabbats (halloween, yule, etc.) because they aren't really associated with African spirituality (I could be wrong but not to my knowledge). I would also avoid using specific dates because they may accidentally overlap with days that have historical significance to the black community (ie. independence days for certain countries, etc.). Just something to keep in mind!
I hope these help! Since I don't have more details on your story, I can't really provide you with more specific answers. I really would recommend finding someone who is BIPOC and who practices a form of witchcraft that is based on African traditions because I really don't know enough about those traditions to provide a more nuanced answer.
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ashilrak · 2 years ago
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hello, you've given advice about writing but was wondering if you have any specifically towards writing multi-chapter/long fics? I find them infinitely more hard to write than just oneshots, partially because of endurance/motivation but also of pacing and what's relevant to include, plot structure, how to not ramble, etc! thank you in advance if you can answer!!
Hello!
So with longer fics, endurance and motivation are going to be a HUGE part of it. But like you said, that's not all of it.
Honestly, the planning isn't that much different for a one-shot and a longer fic, it's a matter of scale. I don't know if I can consider myself the best resource for some of this, but I'll try my best and hopefully give a good starting point!
To start off, I'm someone who outlines, so I'm going to be coming from that perspective. My outlines aren't super detailed, and a scene can be a single bullet point of "Percy and Annabeth talk", but they're there and I rely on them a lot. This is my process for approaching longer fics and what works for me. If it's just me, I do it with outlines and by talking out loud, if I have friends who are willing to lend an ear, I'm going to them.
The first thing you want to do is think of the story you want to tell. Is it plot or character focused? Is it about the relationship? Is it about a character's sense of identity? Is it a what-if? You don't need genre definitions or to be able to sum it up perfectly in a single sentence, but you have to know what you want to achieve.
And then, you're going to be to outline. Get your thoughts on the page, it can be a single scene for now, but let that grow. Have the ending clear in your mind, have the beginning, and then connect them. The middle can be this great, amorphous thing, but I will always advise having a beginning and an end point.
So now, you have a general idea of what you want this story to be and you know what you're working toward plot-wise. You have a goal now. You've figured out what you want you do, much as you would for a one-shot, but now you have a lot more to fill in.
Now, take a break. A couple days to let it settle.
This next bit isn't always possible, but it's something I see in advice a lot and something I find extremely helpful for figuring out pacing, plot structure, and what's relevant: talk your story through with someone. After you figure out what you want to achieve, summarize it to a friend, talk out loud, or write a few paragraph summary on a blank doc with our outline out of reach. The bits and pieces that come to mind as you talk through your story are the important ones, that's what's crucial.
Do you find yourself having to backtrack to tie something in that's relevant later on? Congrats, you have a side-plot. What character elements are you focusing on? That's the main character line. What other characters keep coming up and up again? Those are more side-plot/secondary characters.
After you do that, you can look at your outline with a fresh set of eyes. See things that you need to add to make it make more sense. Would foreshadowing help there if you know that this character is going to be a little bastard later on? Well, is this scene really important since that character never comes up again?
Pacing also changes depending on the story you're telling and you're writing style. Are you trying to focus on the slice of life details, highlight the domesticity for a character who's gone through a lot? Or are you trying to keep the tension high? Those answers will affect your pacing choices.
I also find that it's really helpful for me to start with a one-shot. Maybe it's a one-shot in the verse if it's an AU, just to get a feel for it, or maybe it's a matter of answering the question of "does this need a long fic?". You don't have to post it, but write that scene, write that one-shot, and see if it scratches that itch. Not every idea is a long story, and the times I've tried to force it have ended up terribly.
I know this certainly doesn't answer everything, and you might read this and be like 'what is wrong you, that is NOT how my brain works' and that's okay. But, I hope this is a good starting point and makes sense! Writing is a very individual process, and what works for one person might not work for someone else.
My first couple attempts at longer fics were not good; I wasn't lucky enough to nail it on the first few tries. It takes time to figure out your approach and what works for you.
💛💛💛💛💛
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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years ago
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Sometimes I lowkey feel bad for JC in terms of Skye. I mean sometimes it's clear that they want the fandom to like & care about her & are trying to make it happen, but it just... isn't working. 😅
Not for most ppl anyway, like I'm not saying ppl don't sympathise with her, but that's different to liking her. Even then quite a few ppl sympathizing with her are getting fed up & dropping more than they used to. I think a lot of ppl just want Skye to be held accountable for her wrongdoings & for her to apologise which I think is the only real chance Skye might be more tolerated. Because even if getting hit by a bludger was supposed to be "karma", that doesn't make up for anything & no one really wanted that to happen anyway. It's a lousy method & no one's satisfied with it. So no one's forgiven her for her actions in s1. Her wrongdoings shouldn't have been swept under the rug the way they were.
Ngl I also feel bad for you too, like even if I don't like Skye either, I've seen whole essays from you going into great detail about her character & trying to paint her as sympathetic & likable but they aren't really sticking the landing with much ppl either. Maybe it's hypocritical of me to say so cause they don't push/sway me to like her, but I feel super bad that your efforts aren't having much affect on ppl. 😅
They probably aren't at the point of no return yet with Skye but the damage has already been done to many ppl & JC're just gonna have to try harder if they want more ppl to like & care about her. But not to the point where Skye's the only one getting focus cause no one liked that aspect either. Guess they can't win on this one.
...Okay, first of all, I need to know one thing: How in the heck did you bypass Tumblr’s character limit? I didn’t think it was possible to get an Ask this long in one single post. Do you have some kind of advanced tech? Are you a wizard? Teach me your ways! 
But in all seriousness, I know what you mean. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Skye. I don’t know what Jam City’s plans are, but I can only assume that they do want people to like Skye. And if that’s the goal, they are failing disastrously. Like you said, even people who don’t hate her are gradually getting fed up. Because she’s everywhere in the story, like Penny...but she’s not nearly as likable. She’s closer to Merula in that sense. I suppose I’m just a sap, because I went from being wary of her and recognizing her flaws - to seeing her vulnerable and starting to feel sympathy. Combined with the Comet TLSQ for which I had the opposite reaction to most people...and she had Luca’s loyalty. It takes a lot for Luca to ditch someone. 
That being said, I think you’re right on the money. No one is going to start thinking of Skye as a better person so long as her past transgressions go unmentioned. I can understand if she’s not at the point in her arc, emotionally speaking, to recognize that she was wrong and own up to it. But she’s not going to make too many friends in the fandom until she does. And it had better be an “until” thing. Like, it better actually happen at some point. They shouldn’t consider those events to be completely over with and no longer have relevance to the story. 
I appreciate your kind words! But you don’t need to worry about me. The truth is, Skye isn’t really my favorite or up there on my list. She’s just the character that I get the most messages about, so I’ve inevitably gone into detail and analyzed her. I’ve definitely grown to care about her more as a result, but my favorite Quidditch character is still Orion. And it’s no big deal if people’s opinions don’t change based on my essays of dorkng out. I’m just having fun.
At this point, I think the way forward is to, first and foremost, give the other characters relevance. Skye can still be at the front if they really want that for her, but let Season 3 have an arc that focuses on Orion or Murphy. Have Skye’s rivalry with Rath be a subplot. And please, oh goodness please, call Skye out on her nonsense. That can be the secondary arc of Season 3. But the primary one should be about one of our Quidditch boys. 
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eloarei · 4 years ago
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1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 13, 17, 23 (some of these are random and some aren't)
Thanks for the many questions, Socks! Sorry I didn’t answer them earlier; I decided answering asks on mobile sucks.  ALSO, this is going to be super long haha sorry.  1.  Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?       Well, my most current project is one I just started brainstorming. It’s (hopefully gonna be) a Fallout 3 series, with my latest fic being the starting point. LW/Fawkes is a ship I liked immediately when I played the series some years ago, but I never got around to writing for it, probably in part because there’s already a super good longfic about them, and I just didn’t think there was much else I could say. But my LW is different from Choco’s LW, and lately I wanted to start something self-indulgent. Although I have enough ideas for this to maybe be a single 30k fic, I’m choosing to do a series of shortfics instead, so that I’m not burdening myself with another long project. Fic series are great in that way, because it’s basically complete with every new fic.       On top of that, I have... probably 3 other things I want to make significant progress on this year. First is another Fallout fic: Same Heart. I’ve posted 8 chapters already and have almost 2 more done, but due to the slow-build nature of it (and my tagging) I don’t expect to have almost any readers until at least chapter 10 (when the ship characters finally meet). I’d like to at least get that far this year.       A project I’d love to finish by fall is the unreleased “The Wilderness���, a Venom zombie AU that I started for NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. It’s about 55% written, and my goal is to have as much of it done as possible before the sequel movie comes out. If it’s not done by then, I still plan to post whatever I have.       And lastly-ish, my novel... thing. Rogue. I’m in the process of editing it, although I’ve taken kind of a break lately. And as soon as I’m done with the edits and can get a couple of people to read it (just so they can tell me if certain parts are stupid and need changed) I plan to start the next book in the series... which will probably end up being book #1, actually, if I do them modern-era chronologically. It’s... gonna be a process. ^^;  2.  Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.       In my upcoming FO3 fic series, I’m honestly just kind of weirdly looking forward to... how do I put this? Exploring my own vaguely-traumatic experiences through fic. I’ll always do a happy ending, if possible, but before we get there I really want to run these two through the ringer of... being given something they were led to believe was impossible, being judged for it, having it taken away, and then being told “well maybe it’s for the best”.       When it comes to future projects, I guess I’m really excited about writing the new Rogue book. “Reaper”, I guess, is its unimaginative working title. I’m anxious about it, because I thought Rogue had some really deeply emotional scenes, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to accomplish that as well with this new one, simply because the characters don’t have the same level of desperation about each other. I need to figure out what’s unique about their dynamic and push that. I guess I’m looking forward to the challenge.  3.  What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)       Hmm gosh. Technically there’s a scene in the later chapters of Mobius that I already wrote, but it wouldn’t take place until probably chapter 3 or later, and I just lost all steam on that fic, sadly. But every time I poke through my notes I make myself cry reading it. It’s a scene where one character knows it’s going to be the last time he sees the person he loves most, and he can’t explain his pain to anyone. I really just want to get there so I can see if it makes other people cry like babies haha.       But on a completely unrelated note, there’s also this ZADR fic I started writing in like 2009, and I absolutely didn’t want to do the work to get to the fun middle scenes, but basically it was an AU where young adult Dib went to live/work in the thriving multi-species space community, where he’s... I dunno, studying alien biology I think?, and he ends up with Zim as a roommate. The scenes I really wanted to write were about the two of them getting into like a bar fight with some tough types, and Zim gets his pak ripped off/damaged in the process, and Dib has to sort of take care of him through a horrible fever. But then it turns out that the pak was not a life-support system like they thought, but actually a growth inhibitor so they (the people in charge of the Irkens) could choose who became the Tallest (the leaders). (And also it hindered reproduction, etc.) So basically the two of them accidentally start to unravel a galactic conspiracy which also involves corruption in the Earth government, etc, and Zim gets taller but spoiler alert, he still doesn’t get tall enough to challenge the Tallest lol. Sadly, I doubt I’ll ever actually write that fic. Sounds like too much effort lol.  7.  What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?       That’s such a hard question. Ummm. How do I put any of that into words? ...I think one of the things about my writing is that a lot of the time nothing really happens in a scene, and the story mostly focuses on a character thinking. Like, enough happens so there’s something for them to think about, but I think I tend to put a lot of emphasis on POV character’s thoughts, to the point of sometimes seeming stream-of-consciousness. I’ve been told that this makes my stories feel alive though? So I think it appeals to some people, though I’m sure others would find such stories boring.       Oh also, somewhat along these lines, I like to add commentary that is only somewhat relevant, usually in parenthesis at the end of a sentence or paragraph. (Honestly, it’s not unusual to see one in every paragraph if I’m writing something slightly humorous.)  9.  Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?      I would LOVE to write primarily longfics! However, I just don’t have the time or energy for it, and I don’t write fast enough. So I end up with a lot of oneshots under 10k. I had to challenge myself to learn to write short things though, and then it’s really about writing something short, not about writing a specific story.       Generally, I’m both pantster and plotter. I tend to write the first chapter/few scenes/maybe as much as 10k, just by the seat of my pants. After that, I look at what I’ve got and write out a plot to continue from there. Plotting everything out before I start just doesn’t work for me, but if I try “pantsing” anything longer than 15k I know I’m gonna have an absolute torturous hell of a time.  13.  Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?      Lol I think anyone who’s reading this knows I share my stuff online. Primarily on my AO3, though there’s some other stuff floating around here on tumblr too.  Most of the time if I keep something to myself it’s only because it’s not finish enough to share. So, sure, there’s plenty of that, but the goal is always to share it eventually. If I ever get around to finishing a novel, those will probably be the only things I don’t just post online. (Though I do post most of my OC stuff currently.)  17.  Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?       I think that inevitably my readers will always perceive me and my writing a bit differently than I do. That’s just... interacting with people. Nobody knows you entirely. However, I am as open and honest in my writing as possible, and I actually think that reading my fic is the best way to get to know me. I like to hope that I am an open book to anyone who has read many of my words. =] While you may not know the details of my life, I think you would have a good insight into my personality.    23.  What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?       Like... my oldest fic/story that I’ve never written or posted? Not counting stuff I’ve consciously abandoned (things from middle school, mostly), my original fic series, “Damsel and Company in Distress” aka DamselCo. is definitely my oldest story. I think I started fiddling with it in 2006-- which makes it pretty disappointing that it’s gotten next to nowhere. XD; But the story is my baby, and it’s been my baby for so long that anyone who’s followed me ever is probably at least vaguely familiar with a few of the characters.  Now maybe one day I’ll actually give it the attention it deserves, though I’m sure it’ll need significant revamping. After all, a lot has changed in 14+ years. Ideas that were new and subversive then are probably already stale. 
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thefarrons · 6 years ago
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Everything right with XIII
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With opinions so mixed on XIII either going from one extreme to the other, those being either "XIII was the best game ever and has no issues" or "It was the worst game ever and a disgrace to the franchise!" I thought it would be interesting if I (someone who legitimately enjoyed the game and noticed dozens of problems in my over 100hrs of playtime) did a (almost) unbiased look at the game and go over everything wrong and right with XIII as well as give opinions on what could be improved or changed in a future port.
for the sake of time and page space im going to be breaking this up into two separate posts. this first one is going to be on everything right with the game.
\*EVERYTHING GOOD WITH XIII\*
\*STORY AND FLUIDITY\*
with XV coming and showing us just how much we take game narratives for granted XIII presents it's on-screen narrative particularly well. the games narrative flows pretty well as relevant and exciting cutscenes happen every half and hour or so always giving the player something to look forward to while playing. You never go for long stretches of playtime without something happening in the story unlike XV (don't worry im not going to just bash XV) and most chapters end in a cliffhanger like fashion giving incentive to players to keep playing to see what happens next.
The datalog is another debatable feature of the game but one that ultimately does more good then bad. say you missed a term, character's name or location in a cutscene? no problem cause the game essentially gives you an in game glossary to scroll through giving you all the data you need to keep up with or lean about the games plot or world. Now this does come with a downside "yes" but that'll be explained later.
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​"no need for a wiki search now"
the game also has brief chapter summaries that can be read every time you load up the game. Say you last played a week ago and are a bit rusty on what happened last. No problem as you can now just read a quick paragraph and get all caught up.
the ending to the game is also pretty sound as conflicts brought up earlier are resolved and although there are two sequels afterwards you don't feel obligated to play them as the ending here is ultimately satisfying.
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​"no need for a sequel here"
\*PLOT AND CHARACTERS\*
Im not going to delve super deep into either of the two as both topics could easily take up an essay each individually.
The plot of XIII is overall messy. While you certainly don't get the "obviously unfinished" vibe like you do with XV you also can't help but feel there was a lot left on the cutting room floor for XIII. The standard plot of XIII is alright more or less. the main conflict of XIII is fairly explained well. a group of (mostly) strangers are branded enemies of their home and have to find a way to complete their "focus" or suffer either eternal sleep or a zombified existence. The main plot of the game is explained as the characters do take the time to explain specific concepts and terms so the player just watching the cutscenes and not reading the datalog can stay up to speed with the story. XIII however looses it's players with it's finer details or abstract details never being explained well or never explained at all but more on this later.
tldr: the OVERALL plot of the story isn't too hard to follow but the finer details of the story are muddled and incoherent
The cast of XIII however is easily one of the two best reasons to play the game. The main party of XIII is a bunch of mostly strangers who have been thrown together and have to cooperate with one another or die. while the main story of the game can be a bit of a head scratch it's characters make up for it with their interactions with one another. The main party has a lot of problems with each other but also problems with themselves and the fun of being with this party is seeing when one confronts another, how they react and what change this causes. it's satisfying when they finally accept one another as they've actually grown with one another so when they finally start throwing some banter in the second half it feels earned as you the player knows first hand knows what these characters have been through together.
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​"the game has great character arc's"
\*ART DESIGN & MUSIC\*
XIII is a linear game and by this time you and your grandmother knows about it however just because the lvl design itself sucks doesn't automatically equate to "boring". Although linear XIII easily boasts some of the most impressive areas in backdrops in the series in terms of visually alone. every "hallway" you travel is visually polished to the T and always relevant to the main story at hand. aside from two particular areas most usually aren't very long and before you know it your on to the next location. While it's unfortunate you can't "explore" much you can totally get a sense for what type of world the game is trying to convey to you. From the SI-FI bridges and highways on cocoon to the wilderness of pulse below you feel like your in another world especially with the fantastic ost from Masashi Hamauzu.
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"I'll take this any day over an empty open world"
all and all while I definitely understand why XIII's linearity can be disappointing especially with what I just wrote above I still don't see why it's art design and music can't make up for that and still take you to another world.
\*THE BATTLE SYSTEM\*
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​"this is how a paradigm deck should look"
arguably the best the best thing to come out of XIII and the franchise in general. The paradigm system is a great combination of gambits from XII and standard ATB. XII while deep got a lot of flack for its lean towards set ups rather than active play. XIII takes from the system it built while overall streamlining it and merged it with standard turn based combat. XIII requires players to prepare for battle by setting up strategies (paradigms) outside combat and then executing them during. It's a system easily rewards your ability to plan beforehand and your speed and timing once in battle. players are *incentivized* to play ASAP for a star rating. the quicker you are the more stars you get which gets you better loot for upgrading or selling.
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"press x to win huh?
one of the more controversial topics with XIII are it's level caps and while they certainly are a detriment in the long run they actually serve a good purpose during a first time playthrough. In a lot of rpg's in general when a player is faced with a boss or enemy they can't beat they simply grind to overpower the enemy through sheer stats and numbers rather than actually beating them with skills or techniques. XIII mitigates this issue by limiting how much grinding the player can do in one given chapter. This in turn forces the player to lean the battle system and use the tools at their disposal to overcome whatever challenge the player faces.
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"It's so pretty tho..."
\*POST GAME CONTENT\*
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​"The place where I spent 100hrs"
XIII's post game content is a hard thing to sell overall. It's a post game that definitely requires how much the player enjoys the battle system or the characters. XIII has 64 overall missions to complete and each one of them is an interesting battle to overcome. doing these missions eventually unlock you Chocoboes to ride across the map and discover other areas of grand pulse. there's a survival like mode called "titans trials" in which players can compete in multiple lvls of pre set battles in which the player can net goods and rewards. there's also a couple hidden bosses hidden in a few select locations. The biggest downside to all this is that it's all one type of side content so the game is really banking hard that you fully know and love combat at that point and if you do then you easily have an extra 60 or so hrs added to your playtime.
do you agree with what i wrote? please sound off below.
but yeah this is everything I think XIII does right. Thanks for reading all the way and I plan to also make a twin post about everything WRONG with the game. I actually really like this game but it has a lot of problems and I intend to break down all of them.
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world-of-fire-and-flight · 2 years ago
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Content & Trigger Warnings on This Blog
(last updated 8/21/2022)
Originally, I put trigger and content warnings in both the body of my posts and in the tags using the "tw [warning]" format, however I haven't been as diligent about adding the hashtags since that whole iOS/App Store thing and my general fear of being shadowbanned for using them. While I know that's mostly been straightened out, I'm still hesitant about adding those tags, but I will absolutely continue to label my stories appropriately!
Moving Forward Warnings Will Be Used Like So:
Each and every story posted here will have a list of warnings at the beginning of each post under the author's note. I do my best to list all of the potential warnings and triggers, but if you find I missed one, please let me know so I can add it immediately :)
Sometimes, the warnings will be in red font or just the word "warning" and that's usually my way of indicating that there's some serious content warnings in there. For the most part I'd consider my writing to be pretty tame* and deals mostly with violence/physical fight scenes, manipulation, betrayal, medical scenarios, and death.
(*in this case I'm using "tame" not because the warnings aren't serious, but rather because they're generally not very graphic or hyper detailed. They can be, on occasion, but I usually try to note that too😊)
Example:
[Story Title]
A/N: [this is where I ramble and give credit to prompt creators if I'm using a writing prompt]
Warnings: [all relevant content and trigger warnings that I can think of before posting]
Example 2:
[Title]
A/N:
Warnings: [the list may also be in red font too, though I don't do that as often]
Example 3:
[Title]
A/N:
Warnings: [the list may also be in red font too, though I don't do that as often]
Please make sure to read the warnings because this one gets a little [graphic/heavy/a specific warning]!
Most Common Warnings I Give:
Betrayal
Manipulation
Violence
Physical assualt (usually in reference to the fact that there's a fight scene between the protagonist/antagonist)
Blood reference/mention of blood
Injury
Medical Scenario
Death (it's been brought to my attention recently that I've killed a lot of characters...)
Verbal Fight/Argument
Swearing (usually unlisted unless there's a lot. Generally, I try not to swear a lot in my writing as it's an old habit, but I'm loosening up and have added this warning when necessary lol)
How Graphic Is My Writing When It Comes To These Warnings?
I'd consider my writing to be fairly or very descriptive, but it really just depends on the warning and the overall concept of what I'm writing. Some days I focus more on the blood than the actual act what happened to that character. Some days I describe what happened to that character to varying degrees of detail and just mention the blood. I also tend to get a little carried away with descriptions of emotion/feelings too, so that's probably the most common way any warning would be considered "graphic," so it could be the reaction of what happened that's really graphic and not so much what actually happened. Unfortunately there's no way to forewarn everyone for their individual tolerance for these things, but I will say that if there's something in my writing that I feel like needs a stronger warning, I'll usually make a note of it in the Author's Note or the Warnings for that piece.
If you ever see the words "Please Heed Warnings!" or some variation of me telling to you see the warnings before reading, it's because I feel like that story gets pretty graphic in terms of one or more warnings and probably got to me while I was writing it.
In closing:
Please feel free to reach out to me with questions or if I ever miss a label! It's super important to me that my stories are properly labeled with the right warnings so that y'all can enjoy them safely :)
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