#the description of xl looking into the water and seeing only unblemished skin after the carnage of the last chapter?? awful | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aeipathic · 3 years ago

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as painful as the hundred swords chapter is (and it’s extremely painful), i think the next chapter is almost worse — the utter dullness of xie lian, the dispassionate vibes of the narrative, even in translation it gets across how empty xie lian is, so i can’t imagine how chilling it is in the original

#; out.#sorry that my personality will be nothing but t.gcf until i finish this reread #the description of xl looking into the water and seeing only unblemished skin after the carnage of the last chapter?? awful #the narrative offers no insight into xl’s feelings abt it except ‘he couldn’t look any longer’ bc it doesn’t NEED to #actually it’s such a thing that like. okay. have u ever felt deeply emotionally hurt #and almost wished that there was physical proof of it. like. some way for others to look at you and know you’re hurting #some way for YOU to look at you the next day and know you were hurting #because without proof it doesn’t feel real. it doesn’t feel legitimate #gonna tag those musings as #self harm //#just in case actually bc it’s a big reason for doing it at least in uhhh my limited experience #but anyway #xie lian being able to heal from LITERALLY EVERYTHING and having no marks on his body #to show everything he’s been through??#no wonder he has a fucked up relationship with his own pain and suffering #the worst pain of his life and the next time he woke up there was no proof it had ever happened #of course your suffering doesn’t seem to matter when there’s no way to show it was ever there #for that matter: of course you don’t cry out for help when the one time you tried nobody listened and everything hurt #slam dunked STRAIGHT from mq feels into xl feels lads #in fact these tags got close enough to some kind of meta that i’m just gonna #about ; xie lian.

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