#the cycle of Roy daughters not getting their emotional needs met by their dads continues

[saint-cecilias]

ooof @ Kendall immediately thinking about how best to insulate Sophie as a form of protection that does NOTHING to address her emotional needs and only seeks to make him feel like he’s DOING something about a problem that he either can’t or won’t try to understand. 

and extra ooof @ the way it mirrors how Logan also insulated Shiv as a means of control masquerading as protection. 

and DOUBLE EXTRA OOF @ KENDALL LEARNING THAT’S HOW BEST TO PROTECT A DAUGHTER. 

BECAUSE HE SAW LOGAN DO IT TO SHIV. 

BUT HE’S CONVINCED HIMSELF HIS WAY IS LESS DAMAGING BECAUSE HE HAS GOOD INTENTIONS AND LOGAN DID NOT BUT WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE ROAD TO HELL AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND ALL THAT

 I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[greenygreenland]

What I'd Do For You:

-imagine Roy as your adoptive father

-he'd be so flawed but he'd try his hardest

-I write for females because that's what I'm most comfortable with, but it's not too prominent (please don't be offended! It's only what I'm comfortable with!)

Summary: You're feeling down. Roy's here to help.

Today was nothing short of a bad day. It poured as soon as you stepped out of the house, and before you could grab your umbrella, you realised you were going to be late. Not long after, you ran straight into Ed and Al, who both ignored you in favour of chasing some guy down the street.

Whatever, you told yourself. Not like I needed a 'hi' from my best friends anyway.

Not long after, a car zoomed by and splashed muddy water at you. If it weren't for the rain, you'd be caked in the stuff. As you continued down the street, some guy thought it would be fun to mug you. Of course, when he found out you were a state alchemist, he made a run for it. But that didn't make you feel better, not when there were people staring at you like you were a nuisance.

What did you ever do to them anyway? Maybe it was just the fact today was a terrible Monday afternoon.

When you got to Roy's office, your clothes were sopping wet, your hair a matted mess, and your heart, very much hardened and cold. You softly closed the door behind you. There was no point in slamming it when you didn't have the energy to be angry in the first place.

"(Y/n)?" Roy stared at you incredulously. "What happened to you?" You pointed to the window.. The pouring rain and gray clouds were enough of an answer. "Everything happened, that's what." He raised a brow with a short sigh. "'Everything' is quite vague, don't you think?" He stood and made his way to a cabinet. From seemingly nowhere, he found a towel and threw it at you.

"Thanks Roy." You ran it through your hair and placed it on the couch to sit on. It was just as wet as your clothes, but it wasn't like anyone had a blow dryer on hand. Roy took a seat across from you on the opposing couch. "Care to tell me what happened today?"

You thought back to the Elric brothers, then the mugging and everything else you had to go through today. Roy listened intently. "Why did you leave the house so late?" he inquired. "You could have been here at eight o'clock sharp if you hadn't been up all night reading. Then you could have avoided that mugger, the rain, and everything in between." You huffed. "So what? Changing one thing wouldn’t change the day. And besides, it was a good book. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Put it down." Roy plainly offered. "Save that 'last page' for tomorrow, or better yet, sleep before three in the morning." You didn't like the way he was looking at you, as if he were deciding on whether he should be disappointed, frustrated, or annoyed with you. But bad habits died hard. It wasn't easy to break out of those cycles.

You leaned back into the couch. Defeat crossed your eyes, and that was when Roy realized how tired you looked. It wasn't because of your constant travels, or the fact that Edward and Alphonse ignored you completely (he'd give them a piece of his mind later on), but because you were burnt out.

And maybe feeling a bit down.

"You've been studying a lot." Roy stated. You didn't need him to point out the obvious. It was no secret you were doing your best to help the Elric brothers on their journey towards finding their bodies. "Have you found anything useful?" You shook your head with a tight frown. There was so much you needed to work out, so many variables that didn't add up, and so many frauds you needed to uncover.

"Whenever we're close," you mumbled, "our goal keeps getting farther away. Sometimes I feel so useless while Ed and Al go off on their own accord. I just...I don't know." Your shoulders slumped and Roy's heart began to ache. "It's so hard, and I'm really..." A sigh escaped your lips.

"Tired?" Roy finished. He knew that look well, the one where your eyes darkened with clouds and you looked like you wanted to scream when you couldn't. Long ago, he had the same look. Silently, he swore he'd never do it again. At least, not when you were around.

Seeing that same look on your face made him sick to the stomach. "Take a day off," he started. "The Lieutenant is here so don't worry. As for the Elric brothers, I don't think they'll need your help now. They’re fine as is if you ask me." Roy winced at his words. He didn't mean to make it sound like you were unwanted. In fact, he wouldn't do that even if he was paid.

"Maybe I'm not needed by them anymore.” you concluded. “They're busy anyway, so they won't miss me. It’s been weeks since we last talked actually. And besides, Ed’s really great at everything he does. Same with Al. They’re skilled, smart, everything I’m not." You smiled and it was a bit watery.

Roy's lips parted. No, no, no, that wasn't what he meant. The urge to punch himself in the face was overwhelming. Why was he so bad at wording things?

You stood and folded the wet towel. "I'll take the day off. I'm not sure what I'll do though."

"Wait--"

"If you need me, I'll be around the block somewhere." You looked like you were about to cry, and all Roy could do was watch. He wanted to say something, but what if he made it worse? Saying 'Don't cry!' wasn't exactly comforting, and by the looks of it, you weren't in the mood to talk anything through.

A forced smile made its way to your lips. "I'll be back later Roy."

And just like that, you were gone. The door closed shut with a small click, leaving Roy alone in the quiet office. He stared at the phone on his desk tensely. Hughes was good with people, and he knew how to talk to (Y/n) better than most. If Roy called then maybe...

No. Why should he have to rely on Maes? This was (Y/n). He could deal with his daughter just fine. "Teenagers." He found himself making his way to the phone "Why are they so hard to understand?” The familiar beeping sounded on the other end as he dialed the number.

“Hello, could you connect me to Maes Hughes?”

-----

The lone bench you took refuge on was lonely. But you were fine with that. Here, no one could see you through all the pouring rain and darkened clouds. As your tears mixed in with the cold droplets, you stared into the far off distance. The trees swayed in the occasional breeze and you shivered.

Maybe you should have brought a coat.

Suddenly, the rain stopped pounding against your head. Your dampened hair had rivers flowing down it, and the tears that quietly came to a stop left your cheeks with stains.

“So this is where you’ve been,” a voice calmly said. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was. Why, after an hour, did he come looking for you in the rain? It wasn’t like it mattered. Roy settled by your side, the umbrella hovering above. “Here,” he handed you your coat, “you’re shivering.”

You pushed the coat away with a shake of your head. “I don’t need it.” There was a crack in your voice you covered with a cough. If Roy noticed or not, he didn’t show it. Instead, he helped you put on the coat. “It would be inconvenient if you were sick,” he decided. “How are you supposed to help the Elrics with a cold?”

That didn’t matter. The Elrics were busy for all you cared, and it wasn’t like they needed you anyway. “I’m dead weight, dad.” The words made your eyes sting again. “They don’t-t-they don’t need me.”

“And why is that?” Roy’s gentle tone made the tears fall fast. “Because, dad, I’m useless. Edward’s so much better at everything. He--he’s always saving the day and figuring out all of this country’s problem’s. And...and when I try to help, I always mess it up.”

You thought back to earlier today, where you bumped into the boys spontaneously. They might’ve been busy, but they blatantly ignored you. And the fact that they hadn’t called all week made you worry. Had you done something wrong? No, maybe they didn’t care for you anymore because you were so useless.

“I...I don’t know what to do.” With the umbrella over your head, Roy saw every tear as clear as day. He watched your shoulders tense and your fists clench into tight fists. You were trying to stop crying, but the tears kept coming and coming like a river.

How useless of you.

“Come here.” You didn't want Roy to see your face. “Come here,” he repeated. You hesitantly scooted closer to him on the soaking bench. He held the umbrella in his left hand and pulled you close with his other. When was the last time he actually hugged you like this? He couldn’t remember, and that made him feel guilty.

Was it his fault that you thought so lowly of yourself? Maybe he should have been more adamant on showing how proud he was of your accomplishments. Becoming a State Alchemist at this age was more than a simple privilege. It was a precedent that no generation had ever seen in their lives.

“Why do you compare yourself to Fullmetal?” he inquired, rubbing your arm comfortingly. “He’s not you.”

“But he’s better than me and I can’t measure up to him.” Roy shook his head dismissively. For a moment, you wondered you disappointed him. “It doesn’t matter what Fullmetal is, (Y/n). He’s strong, I admit, but the most hot-headed kid I’ve ever met. Unlike him out, you never let emotions blind your choices. That’s something Fullmetal can’t do. As for strength, you don’t need that.”

He smiled a little and it was so warm. It wasn’t everyday you got to see this side of Roy. He was always caught up in paperwork, plans, and looking after what he worked so hard to accomplish. “You have enough wits to outsmart me. Remember that time Fullmetal challenged me to a match?”

You nodded. “I joined because I didn’t think he could handle it. Ed didn’t want my help, but I ended up coming along anyway.” A smug smirk made its way up Roy’s lips. “And who lasted the longest?”

“Me.”

“And why was that?”

"Because I read your attack patterns?" You uncertainly replied. Roy frowned. "Say it like you mean it."

"Because I read your attack patterns." you repeated. An approving look made its way up your dad's face. "Exactly. Fullmetal has wit, but you are a much more terrifying opponent." You sniffled with a huff. "I'm not--I'm not even close to your level."

"You don't have to be." Roy turned his gaze to the pouring rain, as if he were thinking about how useless his alchemy would be. "If you believed in yourself more, then you will advance farther than you've already come."

That wasn't true. How could you believe in yourself when you felt like an absolute failure? It didn't matter how many successes you've had in the past, because what if they were all flukes? Some day, your luck would run out. Then you'd let your dad down, along with Ed and Al and Hawkeye and Uncle Maes and everyone else you knew.

"You're not a failure, if that's what you're thinking." Roy blurted out. "I couldn't be more proud of how far you've come. The day I met you, I thought I'd fail you. Look where we are now." He laughed a little and it made you relax in his hold. "If you were a failure, you wouldn't have become a reowned State Alchemist. You wouldn't have survived in the most dire times either, and you wouldn't have made me so proud of you."

Your eyes widened. Had you heard him right? You had to be hearing things. Roy met your gaze and smiled warmly. "Yes, I'm proud of you. Why wouldn't I be?" For a moment, you remained still. The gears in your head churned like clockwork, dissecting and rewinding the words Roy had spoken. You tentatively wrapped your arms around Roy's middle.

Yes, I'm proud of you.

You buried your head into his shoulder.

Why wouldn't I be?

And then you cried. Today was nothing short of a bad day, but if you hadn't forgotten your umbrella, gotten ignored by the Elrics, nearly mugged, or showed up late, then you wouldn't have been able to hear those words and the silent I love you's.

IF YOU LIKE THIS, PLEASE REBLOG (IT HELPS ME OUT SOOOO MUCH AS A WRITER!)

[twoidiotwriters1]

Already Gone (Shirbert)

A/N: I ended up this kind of abruptly bc I didn’t know how to cut it. It’s nothing but angst, on a good note we’re 27 followers away from 400 wtf?? that’s great?? -Danny

Words: 1,213

Request: Shirbert au where Anne doesn't see Gilbert's letter and Gilbert doesn't come back for her. Years later both moved on and married to someone else having children and all they meet again by accident, but it’s too late.

“Joy, please be careful!”

Anne runs after her oldest daughter, skillfully pulling her toddler along with one hand and keeping her baby safe in the other.

“Remember what dad told you last time! If you injure yourself–”

The young girl crashes against a stranger, falling flat on her butt. The tall man turns around and quickly kneels in front of the kid, making sure she’s alright. Anne gasps as her stomach sink with dread and almost sprints to where her daughter has fallen.

“Joy!” She exclaims. “Good lord, I’m so sorry Sir, my daughter gets so distracted when I take her to a stroll…”

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” The man replied, helping her daughter up. “I should’ve seen where I was going too, I was too busy looking for…”

His sentence dies as soon as their eyes meet. Anne feels something she hasn’t felt in years as she drinks in the look of the man in front of her. Broad shoulders, and the faintest shadow of a moustache peering on his face, his hair is almost exactly the same as she remembers, but his eyes hold more to them, and she never thought that could be possible, but they look far sadder than they used to.

“Anne,” He breathes.

“Gilbert,” She replies, and it comes out with a confused chuckle. “I must be dreaming.”

“If that’s the case then it must be my dream,” He blinks, his smile growing. “I thought…”

“I’d never see you again,” She finished. “But here we are…”

“Yes,” He looks down at the girl, he notices she’s still holding his hand, and she’s looking at him with eager curiosity with a pair of familiar green eyes. He looks up, beaming. “Are all of them yours?”

“Yes,” Anne hugs her baby tighter, not knowing why she feels almost ashamed. “You musn’t judge me, Gilbert. I’ve had them by choice, and they make me very happy.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Gilbert shakes his head. “Congrats, I mean, I guess it’s all news to you, but they’re really beautiful, their…” he struggles to say the word, but pushes forward for the sake of the conversation. “Their father must be quite proud of such beautiful children.”

“Roy loves them with every fibre of his being,” Anne is abruptly pulled back from this marvellous fantasy. Of course, she’s married, she’s been married for ten years to a good man. “What about you? You and Winnie must have about ten of these?”

“Oh,” Gilbert tilts his head in confusion. “But certainly you should know… I never married Miss Rose, Anne.”

“What?” She exclaims. “What do you mean?”

“I-I told you,” Gilbert blinks. “The letter, didn’t you read it?”

Anne’s been angry at herself multiple times throughout her life, but nothing compares to the shock and impotence that washes over her at his words.

“The letter?” She inquires weakly.

“I left you a letter, it said that I was not engaged to her, and I would never be… unless, well…” He glanced awkwardly to the little girl holding his hand, then continued in a whisper. “Unless it was to you.”

“Oh.”

Anne’s lip quivers, and she feels her own reality crumble, the wall she’d built after convincing herself that Gilbert had never really loved her is now useless as she stands in front of the man that haunted her dreams for the first years of college. Always wondering, in the end she’d believed her own life, and since no one had really heard of Gilbert in the years to come, she could only assume he’d gone to Paris to live his dream. What a mess she’d created…

“Of course, you must understand I wrote all that nonsense when I was young and too emotional for my own good,” Gilbert continued, adopting a stern tone. “Two years ago I met a fine woman, and we got married last spring. We’re about to have our firstborn.”

“Oh,” She repeated in a tone of helplessness. “I’m… so happy for you, Gilbert.”

There’s an awkward silence that falls afterwards in which Anne decides to come clean.

“I wrote to you too,” She says quietly

“I heard,” Gilbert sighed. “But I… I thought it would’ve been unfair to chase after you, you were starting a new life, a new cycle. You needed to build your own life and I was part of your past already… I said to myself ‘if it’s meant to be love will find a way’,” He let out a bitter laugh. “It seems that whatever that was… it was all in our heads, wasn’t it?”

“So it seems,” Anne frowns. “You should’ve gone, either way, I spent years thinking you hated me. You should’ve sent a letter. Anything.”

“What for?”

Anne lowers her gaze, her children are getting impatient and they’ll soon start to complain if she doesn’t end her chat soon. She speaks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I ripped your letter, I never read it. I was angry and thought you were going to reject me and I… I let the worst of me take advantage,” She gulps, her lips feeling like sandy material. “But you should’ve written. I would’ve waited for you, Gil.”

Gilbert’s eyes tear up at her confession, and he looks away briefly just to calm down. He sees their reflection in the window next to him and it only hurts him further. He sees only what it could’ve been had they been a little smarter and a bit braver. He sees himself holding onto his daughter’s little hand, and he sees his wife, his Anne with an e, standing next to him, two little children on each arm, happy, fulfilled, whole.

He knows he’ll never be able to forget this sight. Why didn’t he run after the only girl he’d ever loved with all he was? He was witnessing the birth of a living ghost. They would part ways and he would have to live with the knowledge that somewhere in this world, one Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was alive and well, making a family, spending her years with a man that wasn’t him. That she’d loved him back, but he’d gotten scared.

“I’ve always been a fool,” Gilbert lets go of the girl’s hand, and she immediately holds onto her mother’s skirts. “But it’s late to regret our choices. We have families, we owe them the love we promised to give, don’t you think?”

Anne’s an expert at holding back her tears, she’s been for a few years now, because usually if she cries, Joy cries, and it takes ages to calm her down. Today, however, today she feels it’s appropriate to mourn.

“It was nice seeing you again, Anne,” He admits, smiling at her the same way he’d smiled at her that night at Miss Stacey’s porch. “Have a good life. Please.”

There’s no point on saying sorry, no point on delayed confessions or arguments, not when she’s surrounded by her little family, and not when he’s already building his.

“I hope I see you again,” She says softly. “I would love to meet your baby– and your wife, of course, she must be a remarkable woman.”

“She’s all I could ask for,” Gilbert admitted, still, he had to stop himself before saying ‘but she’s not you.’

[saint-cecilias]

so with Kendall fumbling the issue with Sophie....the cycle of Roy daughters not getting their emotional needs met by their dads continues. 

except unlike Shiv........Sophie is not white and even her last name does not exempt her from racial attacks. 

so Sophie's situation is WORSE all round.