#the cuts to melissa are sooo funny

[maraczeks]

abbott s3 thread pt 2

[thewingedwolf]

@addictsitter wait omg i got so mad i couldn’t fit in a reply aksjdj

that’s REAL, like first of all justice for the MEAT of claudia’s entire story, like the shock in the audience when she sings the “what do i do with this winning ticket” is the CRUX of her story, it’s the fact that she can finally achieve her dreams literal HOURS before her death, she spent her whole life working and now she’s too old to ENJOY THE WINNINGS, she’s not just angry that she’s dying, she’s devastated that she’s dying WHEN SHE FINALLY GOT THE MONEY. i don’t understand why he cut so much of the lottery story line, because it makes the second act feel soooo empty bc half the songs are about claudia & the lottery 😭😭 like why would you CUT THAT. SHES MY FAVORITE.

ANYWAYS. the moment they cast jimmy smits as kevin i was like they’re gonna cut camilla to give kevin a bigger role aren’t they. but then they didn’t even do that. jimmy smits didn’t even get to sing inutil! he doesn’t even get to have this very relevant, very complex story with benny where he has to confront some prejudices within his own character when he completely lets down this young man he’s been mentoring. benny exists solely to be the boy back home who doesn’t want to drag nina down. and nina doesn’t just get to fail & reckon with the expectations put on her as a first gen college student, she has to Experience A Racism. it KILLS ME the way he fucked with that storyline specifically bc lmm shopped around the show for years bc people kept pressuring him to write something more dramatic for nina, like a teen pregnancy, and he stood on the fact that her losing her scholarship was high stakes enough and he was right!!!! it’s just SOoo hamfisted and inauthentic when you cut the entire family dynamic within the rosarios, and cut the lottery until the last minute.

and YES like, this is no disrespect to melissa. i think she’s a talented actress, i think she’s a good singer, she seems like a person with integrity, but vanessa is supposed to scan as like, The Neighborhood It Girl, and melissa js…idk, like, i think she comes across more cute? like, Vanessa has a grittiness & humor & bitterness to her, and Melissa is more wholesome. Even her voice, it’s clear as a bell, and that’s great but not for this specific role! Also like, okay, For Me, part of what’s funny about Usnavi & Vanessa is that she’s clearly The Hot One but she’s down horrendous for this nerd, like she’s just as awkward with him as he is with her, and I think anthony got the awkwardness but Melissa didn’t, it really changed the vibe! also the way she bites her r’s are crazy to me lol

it sucks bc i think it’s a visually gorgeous movie, i love that he was really cookin and trying to lean into the fantasy aspect of a musical! and the camerawork with the choreography was really good, very striking, it captured the FEELING of watching the show, like that excitement of seeing everyone dance live. but the script……..atrocious. i hate that this is what in the heights is for so many people, it drives me up a wall.

[m1shapanda]

the reincarnation squad....

this is melissa. her entire thing is that she has depression and low empathy but she's desperately trying to act like what she assumes other people will love. but she also finds acting tiring and exhausting... she actually yearns to be understood and accepted but she is convinced that she'll be hated if she shows her true self.

this is ann and he's a transgender idiot. none of the picrews can do his ponytail right and i'm sad. he was a villainess character but he decided to escape that fate, cut off most of his hair, and dress as a man to escape that fate but. whoops he accidentally transed himself. his ponytail was supposed to do the villainess drill thing but it is too hard for picrew.... also he has an inferiority complex compared to his sisters (melissa and amelia)

oh yeah speaking of amelia. she's trying to be the villainess but her pride comes off as honour and her stoic attitude is mistaken for coolness and now everyone thinks she's a saint or whatever??? even though she is literally just going "i will die for my siblings." the hair over her glasses is just because i think it's funny

this is lana and her taste in men is red flags. everyone judges her for her taste in yanderes and assume that she's romanticizing things because of her love for romance novels but. she's fully aware of how fucked up it is she just has attachment issues and fears of abandonment and thus her ideal partner is someone who will never ever abandon her. i gave her the hair over eyes look bc i love those characters and also i thought it would help reinforce the "she's supposed to be a background character at first" vibe

brianna is unfortunately so many things i like because. i love shark teeth and i love eyes always shut characters and i love freckles and i love mischievous eyes so. her eyes are usually shut unless she's being especially sneaky. her glasses are supposed to be broken and her injuries are from messing around with all her inventions. she cut her long hair short just so it wouldn't interfere with her inventing. i love her.

OKAY SO. DESIGN WISE MY FAVE IS AMELIA CAUSE HER OUTFITI IS SOOO PRETTY but i am attached to ann <333 HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

TWDG: The Final Season | Character Discussion | 1/2

Part 1 | Part 2

“Everyone’s counting on me to step up. Be the leader they need me to be... I really want to be that for them.”  

So.... let’s talk about Marlon. 

I mean, let’s really talk about him. Ever since I started this blog, some common questions I get revolve around Marlon- “How do you feel about Marlon?” “Do you think he deserved a redemption arc?” “Why do you think he was sent to Ericson?” “In your opinion, is Marlon a bad person?” and many others. 

Some ask with expectations that I’ll express a distaste or hatred for him, while others ask with a more sympathetic approach. If you know me, if you’ve been here for a while, then you know that I do indeed like Marlon as a character, and today I want to talk about him from my perspective while playing this game. 

And with that comes a seemingly unnecessary disclaimer, but one I feel I need to add in order to make it abundantly clear: I will be discussing MY thoughts, experiences, and feelings about Marlon within TFS and give my take on his character. Because we’re not the same person, you may have a different opinion or perspective on his character, you may disagree with something I say, and that’s perfectly okay. You’re entitled to your opinion as I am mine, and I do encourage you to join in on the discussion and express your thoughts about Marlon, but I also want to let you know that you can do that without attacking me or anyone else. 

Really, this is pretty much me looking at Marlon’s role and arc within TFS, discussing points of his character that I find interesting, exploring the why’s and how’s of his actions, maybe coming up with a couple theories as to why he was sent to Ericson, and basically giving a lot of personal opinions of him. It’s a discussion meant in good fun, that’s all I’m saying. 

Before we dive right in, I do want to thank @pi-creates​ for providing me with most of the screenshots used in this. I appreciate the help! If you haven’t already, go check out Pi’s blog for some of the best screenshots and model swaps in the TWDG community! Thank you, thank you!

[First and foremost, y’all are sleeping on Ray Chase’s performance as Marlon and it really shows]

“Looks like I was announced as Marlon, the central focus in this first episode of The Walking Dead Season 4 coming in a few weeks. I've been playing this series since the beginning, and it was a real honor to be a part of the canon. I hope you enjoy!“ - Ray Chase’s Twitter account | July 26, 2018

I want to start this off with praising Marlon’s voice actor, Ray Chase, for doing such a perfect job of bringing Marlon’s character to life. Every emotion and infliction feels genuine, and there’s isn’t a single moment where I don’t “see” Marlon, y’know? I mean that in the sense that every line delivered is believable and doesn’t break my immersion with, “Oof, they really used that take?” 

I know we throw praise upon Melissa, Tayla, Sterling, and Gideon [and for good reason, they’re all fantastic, too!] but even with them there are a couple of lines that I notice have a lack of flow or sound just a bit off. I’ve played TFS how many times? And not once have I had that issue with Ray Chase as Marlon, so bravo to this man. Credit where credit is due, his performance is damn near flawless.

Especially in the confrontation scene at the end of Done Running. I’ll get into that scene as a whole later, but just looking at the performance and the intense, impactful emotion brought to that scene, just..... *chef kiss*

Thank you, Ray Chase. 

[What’s up with your haircut, Marlon?]

“Uh, I look cool... I say, I look cool.”

Lemme talk a little bit about Marlon’s design- I think he looks great. 

I love the little details in the Ericson varsity jacket he wears... including the fact that it looks just a tad bit too snug on him. Like, either the boy doesn’t have another jacket or he’s grown so attached to this one that he’s not willing to admit that he’s outgrown it a bit. 

I’ve had a lot of people point out that it’s nice to see a teenage character in these games with actual acne since most media pretends that acne just doesn’t exist, and I agree. We all know that if this were more realistic, then everyone would have terrible, greasy, dirty skin but... y’know. 

And y’know what? I like the mullet! It’s unique! And I choose to believe it’s a representation of Marlon’s past with bad decisions he’s too stubborn to admit were bad decisions... I mean, he’s had it since he was a kid and hadn’t grown it out or cut it off [to our knowledge, I suppose] sooo... there’s that. 

Or maybe he does actually think it looks badass. Either way. 

Hell, my biggest complaint about Marlon’s design is that I wish they kept more to this concept art attire:

Because Marlon looks super good in this concept art. I love the headband with the mullet and his clothes actually look more comfortable... but like, it’s fine. He still looks great in the game, his little jacket’s cool, bringing back the mullet...its fine. I’m just sayin’. He looks great. 

[Marlon’s introduction in TFS]

“It's our little kingdom. I just do what I can to keep the peace. Wasn't always like this, though. There used to be a lot of us, but...you know how it goes.”

Let’s talk about how Marlon’s introduced. 

We get our first look at him after Clementine and AJ crash their car during the walker attack. A bunch of arrows come flying, hitting walkers attempting to get ahold of them, and as Clementine glances over she sees a figure pulling AJ out of the car. And even though you can tell it’s Marlon, this closer shot from Pi-

-100% confirms that it’s him. Not that you had any doubt, but still.

What’s interesting, though, is that while snooping around for some insight about Marlon from the writers/devs, wandering around reddit, replaying the game myself, and even glancing over the all-knowing wiki that’s never wrong ever, it seems agreed upon that Marlon wasn’t alone, despite no one else being specifically mentioned to have helped Clementine and AJ. 

Which makes sense that that’d be the case, but I did come across a handful of people who are pretty adamant that he was alone, which is an interesting take, though I disagree.

I’m pretty sure most people do, too. I mean, Marlon says, “It's good we found you when we did. It wasn't easy getting you two out of that wreck, and walkers were on the way.” So I don’t even think that was the writers’ intention of it being solely Marlon who saved them.

What’s funny is I came across a post Instagram [I know, the most legitimate source for info and thoughtful opinions] that was surprisingly trying to redeem/defend Marlon rather than chastise him by claiming he’s a hero who saved Clementine and AJ by himself. 

The thing is, they’re both unconscious after the wreck, so unless Marlon has super-human speed to grab AJ, zip around the car to grab Clementine, and then uses super-human strength to carry both of them AND their belongings all while killing any threatening walkers coming after them with his bow... I’m gonna have to press [X] Doubt. 

Besides, I like the idea of it being vague. I like to think that was the intention. “Who was Marlon with? A hunting party! You fill in the blanks!” That sort of deal.

With everything that we know about Marlon and the safe-zone, it does lead to questions about why he and whoever felt they had to go outside it to see what was happening. Marlon points out in his conversation with Clementine that they “had to work fast. I don't know what would've happened if we hadn't seen the smoke...” And later Violet mentions an explosion, so I think it’s safe to say that they heard the explosion and followed the smoke to the location. 

If you don’t know about the raiders and the twins [like it’s your first time playing] then you probably assume that Marlon and his group were being kind in rescuing them, which I don’t doubt but it does make you wonder about things from Marlon’s perspective, y’know?

This is one of those “shhh, don’t think, just go with it” moments. If I had to give a reason, I’d say that the group he was with didn’t think twice about checking it out and even if Marlon did protest, he didn’t have much choice but to follow. Then, seeing that it’s Clementine and AJ, I believe he genuinely wanted to save them. 

“All alone with the kid? Not a pleasant thought. I've seen some rough scenes. But that one would've been up there.”

We get our second and more official introduction to Marlon after Clementine escapes her dorm and confronts Tenn... and it’s pretty fucking good. I mean, everything from him being hidden in the shadows with his bow drawn, to the clear concern yet sternness in his voice as he assures Clementine they’re not going to hurt her and to put the knife down, to his sympathetic apology for scaring her is just an A+. 

One thing this season does exceptionally well is introducing its characters. Marlon has such a confident yet chill way about him when you first meet that it’s actually disheartening to think that in two hours he’s gonna be pulling a gun and MURDER....

Sigh. 

Let’s not jump that far ahead yet. I’m not ready. 

What I find appealing about this next part is Clementine’s reaction to seeing the inside of Ericson for the first time and how taken aback she seems by it. I also love how easy and comfortable it is to talk with Marlon as they’re walking through the yard even though we just met him. 

I enjoy that you can tell he’s trying to get a better idea of who she is without pressuring or overwhelming her and doing his best not to offend. And even when Clementine questions if he doesn’t think she can handle herself, he’s decent about apologizing and explaining that’s not what he meant. But he’s also not afraid to be upfront about AJ’s behavior since they brought him here, either.

He does come off as annoyed when talking about AJ being a handful. We don’t know how long Clementine’s been passed out or how long they had to deal with AJ after he woke up, so who knows how much of a little terror AJ was before they either dumped him with Louis or Louis decided to take him to the music room to chill... where he then bit Ruby. 

Anyway, the first impression I got of Marlon is that he’s genuinely friendly, trying to help Clementine and AJ even if AJ’s been a nuisance, and he’s confident in the system he has in place for them. He is rather forward and proud about being the school’s leader when first telling Clementine. 

Having played through the whole season several times and knowing how Done Running ends, it’s interesting to look at Clementine’s first conversation with Marlon with that all knowing perspective- knowing what he did to the twins, knowing that Brody’s involved and that Marlon’s going to eventually kill her, going to try and frame Clementine for the murder, knowing that he was planning on giving Clementine and AJ away...

I can definitely look at this conversation with a more skeptical lens and say he’s more so trying to sell the idea that he has everything under control in this kingdom for kids and he’s a proper leader with a system in place despite being so young with no adults around. But hey, that’s the natural progression- Ericson is a perfectly chill safe haven and the Ericson crew get along swell... except no, the cracks slowly begin to surface as the episode goes on until all hell breaks loose with Marlon at the center. 

[Rosie is best girl]

“You said dogs brought back bad memories. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so scared of them. But I swear, Rosie's not as frightening as she seems...See? She's harmless. She just needs to get to know you, is all. Here. I'll show you. Do you trust me? “

I’ll be completely honest- the thing that initially sold me on trusting Marlon the first time I ever played this episode was his relationship with Rosie. 

If you know me, then you know that I love dogs. I have a pup named Piglet that I adore, I’ve grown up with dogs my whole life, and I have a huge appreciation and soft spot for animals.  I’m one of those people that can’t stand others who are mean or cruel to harmless animals. It’s different if you’re hunting for food or if an animal attacks you and you’re defending yourself... but I’ve known people who have gone out of their way to hurt animals. I’m out in a country area with a lot of dangerous roads for wandering animals, and the amount of people I’ve driven with who’ll swerve to hit a squirrel, a cat, a dog because they enjoy it is too many. After those incidents, I cut those people out of my life.  If you don’t have that love and appreciation in your heart, then I want nothing to do with you. 

So when I saw that Rosie, while the school’s dog, is more portrayed to be Marlon’s dog above everyone else, I remember thinking to myself, “Okay, I trust him. He clearly loves this dog, wouldn’t mistreat her, and that’s a step in the right direction.”  

While I wasn’t skeptical of him and his intentions before, it really was that natural relationship he held with Rosie that kind of sealed the deal for me- “I like Marlon! He’s probably going to die because he’s the leader and they never last but when it does happen, I’m gonna be super upset about it.” 

And well, to be fair... I was super upset when he died, just more so than I originally planned because there was also that element of betrayal mixed into the pain, y’know? 

Speaking of trust and Rosie- My second favorite Marlon scene is the office scene. But let’s talk about the Rosie bit specifically. After Tenn leaves and Rosie comes in, she scares Clementine and brings back those traumatic memories of when Sam attacked her. 

Marlon comes in and cools the situation, and I love the way he talks to Clementine in this moment. 

I love that he doesn’t immediately turn to Clementine like, “What’d you do?” but recognizes that she’s afraid of Rosie due to her previous experience, one that he remembers her mentioning. He also knows how well trained Rosie is to recognize scents and people, which explains why she’s behaving that way- she doesn’t know Clementine. 

I feel like I’m using this word a lot, but Marlon’s approach to helping Clementine with her fear of dogs feels so genuine. He holds his hand out and waits for her to accept, and if she does, he walks Clementine through what to do, beginning Clementine’s bond with Rosie. 

“Get down on her level. Let her get your scent. It's okay. She's not gonna hurt you.”

It’s incredibly sweet and humanizing to see Marlon like this. 

The best part about this scene, though, is that you can reject Marlon’s offer and he won’t be upset. 

“No problem. I'm not gonna pressure you.”

And he doesn’t. He doesn’t get annoyed, he doesn’t press, no questions asked, and he doesn’t say anything to make Clementine feel bad for her decision. He respects that she isn’t ready to get close with Rosie.

The reason I love this is because how many times have we made decisions in this game, big and small, and had the other characters get annoyed or try to guilt us? “Oh, you don’t want to bond with the dog? Rosie’s the best, everyone loves dogs! What’s wrong with you?” None of that here. That’s something I appreciate about Marlon in this moment. 

It shows that when he wants to, he can listen and understand those around him... something he clearly struggles with when it comes to certain members of Ericson.

I’ll swing back around and talk about that entire scene in a bit, but one last thing about Rosie... can I just say how heart breaking it is to hear her whine at Marlon’s funeral? Solidifying that she was definitely Marlon’s dog more than anyone else’s? And the way Rosie lays on his grave several times in episode 2? 

Oof. 

[Ericson’s perception of Marlon prior to the final confrontation and after]

“...when the world went to shit, he bailed. All the other adults did. Left us behind to fend for ourselves...  Now it's just us kids left.”

I want to touch on how the Ericson crew seem to view Marlon as a leader before and after the final confrontation.

When looking at and discussing a character, it’s important to not just focus solely on them. You can gather a lot about a character based on how others respond and perceive them.

Not everyone expresses something towards Marlon within Done Running. Y’know, like Omar or Ruby, for example. Though we do get a bit more from them after Marlon’s death, their perception of him is different now that they’ve learned what he’s done and witnessed his murder.

So we don’t know how Ruby, Omar, Willy or Mitch viewed his leadership prior to those events, y’know? It’s safe to assume that they’re fine following him as a leader since they’re background characters at this point and make no objections to his leadership at any time before the confrontation. But, after learning the truth, they turned against him. 

Then things get complicated when Marlon’s murder traumatizes them. 

What a mess.

But for this section, there are two characters I want to get into specifics about. They’re worth talking about because they further Marlon’s character, but they’re not the most important, y’know? Characters like Louis, Tenn, and Brody will get their own sections. 

The one I find most interesting among side characters is Aasim. Right off the bat, you get a feel for what his relationship is like with Marlon:

Marlon: “How'd it go out there?”

Aasim: “How do you think it went?”

Brody: “Be nice, Aasim.”

Aasim: “The safe zone's nearly dry. I could barely find enough for tonight. We're gonna have to scout out further if we want food for the winter.”

Marlon: “We'll talk about it later.”

Aasim: “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-”

Marlon: “I said later, damn it!”

So... they’re not exactly besties. The game makes a clear point that Aasim is more vocal in his disagreements and concerns towards Marlon than the others. They even reiterate it when you talk with him later:

“He keeps pulling back the safe zone. We have fewer and fewer places to hunt. Which means we're gonna have fewer and fewer things to eat.”

No one else opposes Marlon like he does, not counting Brody in the basement since that’s a whole other thing and Brody will get an entire segment to herself later.

It’s pretty clear that this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, but because Marlon’s in a place of power, Aasim doesn’t have much choice but to go along with it. Because no one else is speaking up, he doesn’t have anyone to back him up, and you can tell he goes with it reluctantly. He also voices annoyances when it comes to how Marlon treats Louis if you go hunting.

Knowing this, you can infer that Marlon doesn’t want to hear what Aasim has to say, and he doesn’t appreciate someone questioning his leadership. When Aasim steps in Marlon’s path and says, “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-” what does Marlon do?

He shoves his shoulder into Aasim’s as he pushes past, and in a louder, commanding tone, replies, “I said later, damn it!” which leads to Aasim glaring after him... but he doesn’t pursue. Marlon has a hard time with someone like Aasim and his response is to shut him down rather than stop, listen to his concerns, and address them.

That’s something Marlon struggles with as a leader- control and listening. Control over his temper and anger, listening and addressing the concerns of the people he swears to protect.

The reason I bring this up is because Aasim is our first indication that the image Marlon was giving off previously isn’t as spotless as he wants us to believe. Aasim plants a seed of doubt, y’know? He gives an argument that the player can get behind.

“Yeah, why not extend the safe zone? If food is really as bad as you say it is, then what other choice is there? Just be extra cautious so no one gets hurt,” which can then lead to thinking, “Why is Marlon so insistent about the safe zone? Is he hiding something?”

Once that seed is there, it grows.

Now as for how Aasim’s view of Marlon changes during and after the confrontation, you can see that he’s one of the few that wants to hear Clementine’s side to things, and he steps forward after Louis/Violet intervenes.

Then after Marlon dies, Aasim is... well, he’s rather neutral? And I say that meaning he’s more in a middle ground between Louis and Violet, who are on extreme opposite ends. Aasim isn’t okay with Marlon’s death, nor is he okay with AJ killing him, but he can see that kicking Clementine and AJ out isn’t the best solution. Hence why he voted for them to stay.

You can see he’s still angry at Marlon for what he did during the funeral scene, but the game doesn’t care to show more beyond that. Which, in my opinion, was a missed opportunity on their part.  

And because I’m me, I also want to add that this perfectly sets up the idea of Aasim taking over once Marlon died and the writers shot themselves in the foot for wasting him like that. Good job.

Now let’s talk about Violet. People love when I do that.

Marlon and Violet don’t interact too much prior to the confrontation. The most we see them together is during the card game, and they’re chill. Violet makes fun of his hair, he says he looks cool, they’re decent to each other, it’s all good. They’re on friendly terms. 

Which I do find it interesting that she seems like she’s chill with Marlon, but she has such a hard time with Brody. Granted, that’s because she was supposed to go with them but asked Brody to cover her, and then when the twins died, she felt guilty. But you’d think that she’d also have some issues with Marlon, given that he was also there and, like Brody, unable to save them.

You could argue that because Violet and Brody were friends before it had a stronger effect, whereas she and Marlon weren’t ever that close, so it didn’t strike as bad, y’know? 

Though this does kind of get explained later if you choose to stick with Violet through ep4. Well, sort of? A little? She tells you:

Violet: “...I remember how Marlon described it, what we were gonna turn Ericson into. It's not the way any of us pictured it.”

Clementine: “How did you picture it?”

Violet: “I guess I couldn't. I just listened to what Marlon said. How it would be a home, a real one. But I couldn't really wrap my head around it.”

And when she talks about people who cared about her that she pushed away, she does list Marlon as one of those people, which is super interesting given all the loathing she’s done towards him after the truth came out.

It could be that in the past, she saw Marlon as the leader and why would he lie? He’s the one who stepped up, promised that they’d made Ericson into something special, into a brand new home... what reason does she have to distrust him?

So when she finds out the truth... well, that betrayal completely shatters everything she has for Marlon, going as far as for her to believe that AJ was justified in what he did and shit talking Marlon in front of his mourning best friend. 

So her reaction to Marlon after this makes sense, but what does this tell us about Marlon himself?

Again, depending on how you view him, you can look at this idea of Marlon being kind to Violet and them being on friendly terms after what happened to the twins a few different ways- Marlon was manipulating Violet solely for his sake, or Marlon felt guilty that something he did hurt her this bad and tried to make Violet feel better, or both.

I think it was both. After the twins died, we all know the amount of guilt Marlon carried with him, so having to be confronted with the fallout of that in the form of someone like Violet... he had to be careful. I don’t doubt that he cared about Violet or that he tried to reach out to her, but he also had to protect himself for the sake of maintaining his leadership and control of Ericson. So, of course, he had to lie to her which manipulated her feelings about him and the situation. 

I believe Violet recognized it, too. When she says they should’ve asked more questions about what happened, I think that’s her being more pissed with herself for trusting Marlon and not questioning him further, for taking his word for it. 

I’ve come across theories suggesting that Marlon actually manipulated Violet into placing blame onto Brody rather than him, which is why she is on friendly terms with him but not so much Brody. And that’s a valid interpretation. There isn’t any solid evidence of this within the game to suggest either way, but I can definitely see how someone would come to that conclusion. Especially after the confrontation.

Now let’s touch on Violet if you appeal to her, because Marlon does something that makes me go “Hmmmm...”

Clementine, when she appeals to Violet, say, “Violet you have to believe me.”

To which, Marlon immediately steps in and says, “You don't. You met her, like, two days ago!”

He doesn’t even give her a chance to speak. 

With Louis, he’s so overly confident that he has him completely wrapped around his finger that he doesn’t feel the need to say anything. He feels he has control over Louis. But with Violet, he feels his control might not be as strong, so he needs to remind her that she just met Clementine, whereas she’s known him for years- something he uses against the whole group.

And when Clementine tries to talk to her, Marlon takes a low blow and it’s super shitty.

“Don't let her get in your head. Hey, what would Minnie want you to do? She was my friend, too. So was Brody.”

He’s desperate to crawl out of the grave this situation has put him in that he’s willing to go this low, doing everything he can to make sure Violet doubts Clementine... and y’know, whose to say this is the first time Marlon is using Minnie to manipulate her? And when it doesn’t work, he gets frustrated like “Violet being difficult. Why am I not surprised?” which could suggest that it hasn’t always worked. 

It goes back to what I was saying- Marlon tried to get close to Violet and she never let him. She was difficult to be around after the twins died due to her grief and Marlon struggled with that. 

When he finally comes clean, this is where the real shift happens with him and Violet. You can see the hatred burning on her face every time the camera pans over to her now that she’s felt betrayed by him and his actions. 

Right before Marlon dies, if you choose to say nothing, Violet will step forward and start saying that he doesn’t get to stay, but gets cut off when AJ shoots him. 

All in all, Violet is a big case against Marlon and a showcase of how far his manipulation as gone within Ericson.

[Marlon’s office and foreshadowing of motivations]

“Whenever someone goes outside the safe zone, bad shit happens. People die or disappear. I just... I could really use the help, Clementine. Taking care of these kids, it's not easy. I'm worried that if I don't figure something out, if...if I don't fix our food situation... I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us.”

Swinging back around, let’s talk about the rest of the scene in the office. 

First off- it’s implied that Marlon uses the office as a bedroom given the mattress on the floor and some of his personal belongs laying about. Like the photo he keeps of him and Louis. 

The bed isn’t for Rosie, we assume, since we later see her sleeping outside while chained up. This might be just because they wanted Rosie present for the confrontation scene but didn’t want her loose, so they put her outside when you’d think that she’d sleep inside with everyone else. 

Or, maybe she just prefers to be outside when the weather’s nice, or they keep her as a guard in case something were to happen, that way she can alarm them. 

Anyway, why does Marlon potentially sleep in his office rather than in a dorm? Or does he have a dorm that he’ll sleep in, but keeps the mattress there just in case? 

Well, a show of authority, for one. Even if he does keep a dorm room, it’s likely that he made the office his own as a way to be like “The headmaster is gone, this is my office now. I’m in charge.” 

Which makes sense. 

And when you think about what Louis tells us about Marlon having all these sleepless nights and tough calls, it’s not hard to imagine him spending late nights in his chair going over different plans and stressing over the food situation/safe zone, as well as letting the guilt of the twins weigh on him to the point were he’s too exhausted to even leave.

Moving on to the actual conversation between him and Clementine. He does show a vulnerable side to her, which I like. He can feel the pressure he’s under and sense the loss he’s suffered. But...like before, looking at this knowing what I know, it’s not hard to see certain things in a different light opposed to what you’d see as a new player.

What’s interesting, though, is while I do enjoy this conversation and the bits of insight it gives to Marlon’s character, there is this subtle, slightly off undertone of the whole scene after the Rosie bit. 

At this point, we’ve talked with Aasim and he’s planted the seed of doubt.

We’ve heard the story about the twins. Violet came and talked to us about it, we could visit their graves and learn that they died at this time last year. Anyone who has played any game or heard any story can pick up on that the twins are important. They’re not going to use these girls as some throw away lines. They’re going to come back one way or another. 

We’re literally living in their dorm. The dorm that Marlon put us in. They’re heavily connected to Tenn and Violet, two important characters I previously discussed. Then, Violet comes barging into our room and talks about them some more. 

It makes the gears turn, y’know? 

And with Marlon being very insistent that they stay in the safe zone, it’s not hard to question the story about the twins. I went through and skimmed a couple play throughs on youtube to this scene and a lot of them were theorizing that the twins weren’t actually dead or something wasn’t right, some cracks are starting to show. Why else bring it up? Marlon being the one to push the dangers of the safe zone and everything with Aasim... it’s not hard to pick up that he might be hiding something.  

The thing I find fascinating about people’s perception of Marlon is how they interpret his motivations when it comes to Clementine and AJ, and that can be tracked back to this scene. 

We all know that he’s planning on giving them to the raiders if they come back. It’s a hard fact. Brody warned us before she died, and dialogue during the basement scene backs it up. 

But the question I’m curious about is... when did this motivation begin? 

When did Marlon decide that he would give Clementine and AJ to the raiders if they ever came back? 

Because the text doesn’t tell us anything until Brody’s death, I feel like we all have a different moment where we believe that became Marlon’s secret motive, y’know? 

In all my digging, I’ve read posts about this idea, people giving their thoughts on when they think Marlon secretly turned on us, or if he was ever really on our side. 

One has people theorizing that Marlon saved Clementine and AJ with the intention of giving them away from the beginning. 

So he saw taking these two in and earning their trust as an opportunity to save everyone else at the school [the people he cares about] rather than have to sacrifice anyone else like they did with the twins. Clementine and AJ were just a means to an end if the raiders came back. 

Which is a rather sinister way to look at it and puts quite a negative spin on Marlon’s actions towards them - like how he’s willing to let them stay at the school not out of kindness but out of bad intentions, and every kind thing he ever did was to win over their trust so he could lure them out into the woods and do a trade if necessary. 

The line “Take this. I don't want you gettin' lost.” gets pointed at a lot due to how Marlon says it, the infliction of it, and it’s theorized that the hidden meaning behind it is “Take this, if you get lost then I can’t make the trade.”

Same thing with “Just remember to stay in the safe zone. We need you to come back home in one piece.”

Which isn’t a wrong interpretation of this. You can totally look at this conversation between Marlon and Clementine as Marlon subtly foreshadowing his turn, or betrayal, at the end of the episode.  

“...It's how we've kept ourselves from unwanted attention for so long. Well... For the most part, anyway.”

“I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us. Sorry. I'm just... There's a lot of pressure.” 

“What, did you think I was gonna throw you out?“

Then there are the middle ground people who believe Marlon didn’t save Clementine and AJ with that intention in mind, but it started to appear as an option to him either a bit before or during the office scene. Y’know, it came as a passing thought that ended up lingering until he acknowledged it as a solution to a potential problem. 

Again, pointing at the dialogue from before- him suggesting that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his community alive... just like he did before. 

And while he gets along with Clementine and AJ [or as some would suggest, he appears to be friendly], they’re not his family. He isn’t close to them the same way he is the rest of the school. and if he has to give anyone away, it’s going to be them, whether he wants to or not. 

Marlon didn’t want to give Sophie and Minerva away, and he’s carried that with him up until this point. We see it manifest to a breaking point that lead to Brody’s death and, eventually, his own. 

Finally, there are the people who believe that the idea of giving Clementine and AJ away didn’t occur to him until after the incident with Abel. After Brody panicked and told him about getting robbed, then Clementine claiming they met a man with different colored eyes who wanted food, and the realization that the raiders could be back. 

This is where I personally stand when it comes to this idea. I believe that Marlon didn’t decide on this until he heard about Abel, and solidified it during the fight with Brody down in the basement. 

But what about the dialogue in this scene that potentially has double meanings? Well, I believe that’s the writers suggesting Marlon’s turn and motivations rather than Marlon himself, if that makes sense. Like I said before, you could take nearly everything Marlon says as some sort of foreshadowing or suggestion of what happened to the twins, what his true intentions are with Clementine and AJ, and what will happen to him at the end of the episode. 

That’s the thing- Marlon doesn’t ever go on a mustache-twirling monologue about how he knew he could use Clementine and AJ as trade if the raiders came back and that’s the real reason why he saved them, nor do we see him come up with the idea on the spot. 

Hell, Marlon never admits to the player that he was going to do that. The most he says is, “Shut your fucking mouth! I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back... I'd do it again!”  

Brody is the one who told us everything, and every time Clementine throws it back in his face, he tells her to shut up and threatens her with the gun. 

But from what I’ve tried to gather about what Marlon and Brody talk about in the basement before Clementine gets down there...

Marlon: “Why can't you just do what I ask you to do?”

Brody: “Because we caused all this, and now we have to deal with it!”

Marlon: “I am dealing with it!”

Brody: “By tradin' more of us away? That's not fixin' the problem, that's runnin' away from it!”

[I’ll come back to this full conversation later when I go over the basement scene by itself. It gets pretty dark.]

Which.... yeah. So, I’m not trying to say Brody was lying or anything just because Marlon never flat out admitted it to us the player, I’m just saying that we don’t know for sure when he made up his mind about this since the game never gives a clear suggestion for the sake of his dramatic turn from friend to antagonist. 

Did he have this idea from the start or did he come up with it during this conversation? 

We don’t know, but it’s interesting to look at the different views surrounding this question and how it applies to Marlon’s character. Because yeah, if you truly believe that Marlon had this intention from the start, it makes all of his actions in this episode pretty scummy. And again, that’s not wrong because there isn’t an answer here. 

I choose to believe that maybe the idea came as an unwanted thought in the beginning, but manifested into something real when he heard about Abel. He shared his plan with Brody, who didn’t want to go along with it. 

And y’know what... let’s finally get into the basement scene and Brody...

Continued in Part 2/2

[sanchoyowrites]

Scrapped ideas for Cold Love! 

I’ve gone through about 5-10 drafts with a LOT of scrapped ideas and plot threads! Now that I’ve gotten almost done with it, I wanted to share some of those! I planned to earlier, but realized some of them might be iffy, so I waited until the latest chapter! I may come back and share more later, but these are the ones I can reveal up to this point. :)

Under the cut because if you aren’t 100% caught up with CL, some of these are a liiiiittle spoilery! (and definitely spoilery as far as the manga goes- but if you’re reading Cold Love, you’ve definitely already been spoiled if not a weekly reader... 3: )

-In the very, very first draft, Tenko and MC stayed in America her entire transfer term, without contacting the lov. It went through month by month showing snippets of what they were doing, then flashing to snippets of the lov. it got pretty angsty because the longer they stayed, the more Tenko felt bad about not contacting them, but he needed space to think for himself-

-in that first draft the first chapter thats basically all recap like that ^ ends with tenko getting kidnapped by AFO. and MC has to go to Japan, alone, and find the lov to Save Him!

-And then she runs into Hawks first and FREAKS. OUT. thinking he’s going to arrest her, and he’s like ooooh crud she doesnt KNOW. they don’t actually fight, he just calls up Dabi first thing. this was written back when everyone thought there was a good chance of Hawks Actually Joining the Lov :( Also in that version, Giran played a huge role in helping MC find the lov and was just SO funny. I love (1) uncle even though his role isn’t as prominent in this version. 

-MC killed the doctor in the first draft. it was dr VS dr, but he was basically trying to persuade MC to work WITH him and he’d teach her how to do his work and take up his mantle, and if she got AFO’s approval she and Tenko could be together without fighting AFO; then she shot the dr for even suggesting that LMAO

-Hawks actually escorts her to I-Island instead of Nine in one of the early drafts! Under the guise of her being a winner of a trip with him or something as a cover story. They persuade Melissa MUCH easier because he’s the #2 hero and all. I changed this when the new movie came out and I was thirsty for more lov/Nine’s group interaction...I get attached to minor characters/movie only characters, what can I say. And with everyone expecting Hawks to be a traitor, it made making it Nine do it more.. fun for me to write, honestly. haha 

-there was a draft where AFO effectively brainwashed Tenko after capturing him and MC had to try to make him fall in love again and try not to get murdered. fun to write, but I wanted to focus more on their already established relationship rather than the struggle of trying to build it again!! (it made for GREAT ANGST tho)

-In one of the early drafts Tenko and MC were trying desperately to hunt the dr down for info (or to kill him, I can’t remember) and Tenko KNEW the doctor hung around schools and pediatrician places for kid’s quirks because kids are easy targets, so. MC and Tenko went to a bunch of schools pretending to be parents looking to enroll their pretend child and asking about the school nurses/doctors for their sickly kid. it was SO EXTRA. but also a whole chapter of them making up funny backstories with fake names and pretending to be parents together. it was SO cheesy and cute and I’m so sad it had to be scrapped, personally. I ultimately chose to have Kurogiri do the dr in because. The poetic cinema, but. Yeah!

-There was a version where while in America, AFO broke out, and the commission (being supremely sucky, ) decides, well, to get him back or kill him, we need bait. All Might and Tomura Shigaraki shaped bait! So All Might comes to America where MC and Tenko are (the commission found out about that via Gran Torino snooping in Naomasa’s files...) and basically has to ask them to come with him. The commission sends Hawks as an extra security measure (obv they cant send ENDEAVOR, hes “”needed”” in Japan...I just didn’t want to write him <3) 

But again, this draft was super early on when we all thought Hawks would turn for real. So Hawks had brought the entire LOV via a bracelet of compressed marbles... (he likes jewelry in canon!! he’s always wearing a ton of it in official art!! this would have been perfect--)  And for one reason or another they all end up on a roadtrip together to the desert in America (that’s where the commission wanted to lure AFO, because it was a no civilian zone or something?) This was all very convoluted and just me like ‘well what if the lov had a fun roadtrip together in a small space like a bus, and had funny and tender moments. And All Might is the bus driver because it’s REALLY funny to have Tenko picking on him, but then have actual heartfelt moments and talks later about morals--

-A version where Melissa gave Toga her blood to go get information from the heroes! It was basically like ‘give us Melissa Shield back and we’ll exchange money’, but they ask for info instead to try and find out more about the Tartarus break-ins. Melissa is talking to Toga through an ear piece, and Toga has to act perfectly and pretend David Is her Dad And She Missed Him. It’s very jarring for her to see a parent who really loves their kid.  :( I cut this because I didn’t want them to need too much outside help to figure it out and the whole scene got very convoluted, but...it was really fun and heartbreaking. :”)

-That first draft I mentioned way up there ^ was super dark. No idea what I was thinking, but it was VERY angst-heavy, and ooc in places because the league splits for a while because of in fighting and without Tenko they fall apart and start questioning themselves. I did think I went mildly ooc in the other way with the league in the final draft, in that I made them SOOO affectionate with each other, but the latest manga chapters make me wonder about that. Maybe I was right all along. They are a family. >:”) 

[awkwardplant]

Sci-fi/Misc Short Story: Diorama

Weary travellers entered a building to escape from the zombies that had been chasing them. Night-time drew closer and only a little bit of sunlight filtered through the large dusty windows at either side of the room. Despite the dust, everything here looked pristine, unsurprising as it didn't seem the materials here were much use to survivalists.

"Is that an easel?" Johnny the Veterinarian wandered over to the contraption, lifting away a greyed cloth covering it, revealing a canvas with a few marks of brown oil pastels.

A younger member of the team who refered to himself as the Tailor (everyone else called him Ed, or the Cosplay Guy, or That Teenager) dove into some drawers and boxes. "Please tell me there's a non electrical sewing machine, or fabrics, ooh I'll even take sequins at this point! Anything I don't have to make from scratch."

"Don't think this type of place will have those kinda things, Ed. Looks like a kindergarten's arts and crafts room." said Johnny. "Might have glitter though."

Paul the Farmer rolled his eyes at his group. "No point lookin round 'ere, let's settle down, find somethin soft, and kip for the night." He shrugged off his backpack which carried the all the bare essentials it could hold, and popped his spine with a groan. "Food chain these days is all outta whack I tell ye."

At the entrance, Melissa the Engineer boarded up the door with some convenient planks of wood, nails, and a hammer she carried everywhere. "Oughta keep them out. Phew. Bit cold in here isn't it?"

Melissa's daughter, Isla the six year old, stood in the middle of the art studio, eyes filled with wonder at all the creations. Clay sculptures of graceful torsos, pencil drawings of still lifes that looked more or less exactly like the sketches, completed oil paintings of landscapes hung on the wall next to colorful, abstract ones.

Isla spied a light still on behind a door to another room left slightly ajar. "I see a light, do you think someone lives here?"

All the adults tensed and raised their weapons, eyes peering in the direction Isla curiously tiptoed towards. Paul hissed at her to slow down, firmly grabbing her shoulder and pulling her back behind him as he stared ahead. The air was silent aside from the floorboard's weak groans that sounded like a sigh of relief at the return of humans gracing its surface.

Johnny tapped lightly on the door which opened without any creaks or spooky noises, and revealed a warm orange glow of a desk lamp. The desk was cluttered with tiny objects you would expect to see at much bigger sizes such as doors and furniture. Several drawers of multiple sizes surrounded and sat on the desk filled to the brim with paints, glue, craft knives and other materials. A single mug rested on a green cutting board with some stale coffee inside.

Isla squeaked in delight as she darted across the room. "Mommy! There's dollhouses here!"

Melissa strode towards her daughter, blinking in surprise when seeing there was in fact what appeared to be multiple dollhouses meticulously displayed in glass cases on many shelves.

"Some strange looking dollhouses," Ed said. "Why would a kid want to play with a dollhouse that looks like a swamp?" He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at the minature shack on stilts that sat atop fake greenery and resin water.

Paul chuckled. "And this ane's even got tiny critters from my farm! Now tell me that isnae just the spittin image of my wee goat." He tapped the glass of a mini farm with toy animals placed in the field.

"I think, uh..." Johnny clicked his fingers, brow furrowing. "I swear I remember... Ah well, I don't know the proper name of them but I've seen train sets that have these kind of things, do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah!" Melissa chirped. "This is how they used to make movie sets isn't it? Because back then they didn't have CGI to make places they couldn't afford to go to when filming."

"And humanity has reverted back to that time period." sighed Ed, who greatly missed his Friday night Star Wars rewatches with his friends. "Maybe even further back than that. Losing the internet was like losing the Library of Alexandria."

All of them wandered around the shelves to look at all the miniature sets. Mountains formed purely by plastic foam, a landscape of a picnic inside an open altoid tin, a greenhouse cluttered with plants no bigger than a pinkie finger. Some miniatures sat on the floor, the ones that were massive compared to the other sets yet still very tiny versions of medieval castles and gothic architecture.

Melissa stopped in front of a small library room that had holes in the ceiling with trees growing beneath them, books and furniture meticulously littered everywhere. Flashbacks to her days studying in her hometown's library filled her mind.

"This is what they thought the apocalypse would look like." she said, with tears welling up in her eyes. "They thought- they- they made art of stuff like this because they imagined it would look beautiful. How could they romanticise such disaster?"

Johnny walked up next to her, crouching down to see inside the library. "Hauntingly beautiful, maybe. I do remember certain types of people were fascinated with the idea of nature reclaiming the lands that humans built on."

"And that idea was dumb," said Paul. "Because now the deer are overpopulated and they destroyed the forests, and who knows what other animals are causing chaos without conservationists."

"There are pros and cons to everything that happens." Johnny replied. "But yes, it doesn't help that the handful of humans that are left don't know how to handle this... resurgence of nature."

Isla looked around, peering back through the door to the main room of the art studio. "This library dollhouse looks just like real life doesn't it? It's like we're little dolls too."

Melissa smiled sadly, stroking her daughter's hair. "It does put things in perspective." She hoped things would settle down enough for her to be able to teach Isla things she had learned in school at her age.

"The Earth is the size of a pinprick compared to the sun and we're all just ants in the grand scheme of things." Ed said, and one could guess he was trying to imagine how small he was compared to the Starkiller base.

Paul snorted. "But bigger than regular old ants and smart enough to put together nicknacks that make ladies cry." He nudged Melissa teasingly.

Eventually, the group finally realized that the lamp was connected to a solar powered generator with a back up of energy reserved and they attempted to recharge their walkie talkies. After a few near-electrocutions, they finally connected to a radio station broadcasting a rather laid back distress signal.

"This is DJ Smooth calling out to anyone, God, just anyone out there, from the abandoned military base in Alconbury. Been out here for uh, 3 months now, there's not been any zombie sightings for a while and I have been sooo bored. Come find me and we can hang out, maybe fight over my remaining supplies so I can remember how to feel something that isn't dissociation. Stay tuned after this music break for the co-ordinates to my location, and my heart. See ya soon cuties. Over."

Later that night everyone created some makeshift beds out of the cloths that had covered some artworks and easels, which Ed would repurpose at some point during their travels to make some new socks. They all lay on their backs in the dark, close to each other to conserve warmth. If there were any zombies outside they didn't hear them, only the rush of wind and rain pattering on the windows.

"Mommy," Isla whispered. "I liked the song that the man on the radio played."

"Yeah sweetie, I liked it too. It was... something from the 90's? I think? Probably not age appropriate but you didn't understand it so it's fine, I guess. Something funny to look back on one day."

Isla rolled over onto her stomach to look at her mom. "When we go back to Paul's farm I want to play the guitar we found."

"We can't go... Tell you what Isla, we'll go see the music man from the radio, and he'll help us cure the zombies, and then we can get everyone an instrument and all make music together."

"Yes! That's a good idea!"

"And we can do plays in theatres and make movies again." Ed added shyly.

"Movies that don't involve zombies and will make us forget this shitshow ever happened." Johnny sighed, unable to close his eyes and dreading the nightmares.

Paul growled and hushed the others, but then he said "Doesnae matter if zombies are out for us and we've got no artsy stuff, we can still sing."

They all sang Country Roads quietly (Isla could only sing the chorus yet sang with such sincerity), with gentle echoes of their melody bouncing off the walls of the art studio until they fell asleep.

The next day they left to find the military base and made up new songs along the way, with renewed and desperate hope that they might find a cure for the zombies someday soon.

The end.

[hello-itsyaboi-blog]

A Holtcest Christmas (CH 1: Mittens)

(While I’m waiting on the AO3 email invitation, I’ll post this here. The plan was to write one big-o fic and have each chapter revolve around the theme of the day for Holtcest Week. But I just don’t have time, so I’ll finish this after finals at the end of the month. Also, first real fic I’m working on since 2011 or so OOF))

Christmas (and Christmas Eve) were not Katie's favorite holidays. At least, not anymore. As an adult, she saw everything for what it really was. Specially her family relations. At least, her father's side of the family. As one grows older, one learns of the 'family secrets' and everything about family becomes clear.

Katie finally knew why Aunt Melissa and her mother didn't get along, and why Uncle Thomas didn't like her very much: it because of her ambiguous sexuality (he was what Matt would call "a bible humper"). Her Grandfather resented her father for leaving for college instead of staying behind and helping him take care of the family farm. Nevertheless, Katie couldn't confront any of these people about directly. Instead, she had to do what they all did: pretend any issues didn’t exist. Just avoid the problem.

And so, she did. Katie followed everyone's actions by just pretending to love all her family members for the next few years. Thanksgiving was sometimes celebrated, sometimes not. But Christmas was always mandatory. Since she could remember, her parents, Matt and her always visited Sam's side of the family for Christmas. It wasn't until recently, about five or six years ago, that they started to visit Colleen's side of the family. They rotated each Christmas from that point on, seeing Sam's family one year, them Colleen's family the next year, and so on.

Sitting by the colorful Christmas tree, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and sprinkles, Katie sat on one of her uncle's white couches. She was next to one of the younger cousins in the family watching a movie someone put on the television (even if the chatter drowned out most of the tv sound).

"Pidge" a voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "Huh?" She asked, looking around until her eyes fell upon her older Brother Matt. He was the only person she knew well enough. Truly knew him, unlike anyone else in that room.

"You alright? You're quiet" the taller male asked her, sitting on the armrest of the couch, right next to her. 

"Yeah I'm alright, I'm just watching the movie" Katie replied, keeping her eyes glued to the screen to avoid eye contact. But Matt knew her too well to buy into that.

"Do you want to talk outside?"

She hesitated a little before looking up at him and nodded. The two siblings then got up without another word and left the house. They were at their uncle’s home in Minnesota, which was near the end of a hill, surrounded by trees. Their uncle, Jerry, owned a big piece of land, so there were also a lot of questionable things built throughout. The most normal thing on the property was a wooden closet with rusty gardening tools among other unidentifiable pieces of metal, but the rest consisted of wooden crosses thought the property. The bottom of the crosses was always a tree stump, meaning part of a tree was cut down and the rest was used to carve the cross out of it. Those always gave Katie the creeps.

"Sooo..." Matt began as he led the way out of the door and into the front yard, which was covered with a few inches of white and cold snow. Katie followed, sinking her hands into her jacket as the cold air hit her the more they descended away from the house. If she had brought gloves, she would suggest that they make a snowman. It never snowed back in California (at least not in their city) but she wasn’t going to risk getting frostbite.

"You know how I feel about these sort of things" she spoke, eyes watching her boots as they shuffled through the snow.

"I know, I know, but we gotta pretend. They're still family and we are kind of stuck in the middle of nowhere" the older teen shrugged, coming to a stop once they were far enough from the house so that the noise coming from it wasn't distracting. All the chatter and holiday music coming from the house was quite distracting.

"Yeah, still family. And despite that, uncle Jerry and Aunt Judy fucked. Everyone knows"

"Welp! This convo escalated quickly, but yeah. And everyone pretends it didn't happen. It’s messed up but we're already here. Might as well not be miserable the whole time and dwell on all this drama." He sighed, "We can try to hang out away from the adults. Pretty sure everyone our age is upstairs playing some video games or something"

Katie shook her head. "No, I don't want to. Well, at least not now. Can we just stay out here for a while?" She asked. If it were up to her, she would be outside the whole time just talking with Matt and not be near their family. The only thing she had in common with these people is lineage, DNA but that was it. But that meant nothing. It was all a façade.

"Only for a while. It's cold out here" Matt replied watching the outline of her hands that showed through her jacket. Eye contact was not his strong point, often looking at whatever was behind the person he was talking to, any jewelry or accessories they had, or even just looking around. Anywhere but their eyes. It often came off as strange or disrespectful to other people, but it was a bad habit he had trouble breaking. However, with Katie (and his parents, to an extent) it was different. There was never a time where he would avoid her gaze throughout the whole conversation; he always looked into those pretty brown eyes that were much like his own. His gaze was quite low for a few moments, but Katie didn’t mind. Though, there were times where she wished he would look a little lower. But she often shook those away, blaming them on her hormones. "You're cold, aren't you?" Matt asked after a few moments, his gaze shooting back up to her eyes. A small grin curled in his lips, expecting Katie to deny it.

"No, I'm not!" she lied, turning her back towards the house. Matt did the same, not pushing the issue further. It was always fun to tease her a little bit, to brighten up the mood a little bit specially now. 

"Okay, okay. Anyway-..."

"Anyway, I just wish we could spend Christmas with mom's family. We barely see them" she explained, frowning slightly and flopped down on the snow, regretting it instantly. But she hid the pain, shrugging off the cold stinging sensation as best as she could and looking back at Matt when he spoke. Hearing him out just helped sometimes because Matt's voice could put her at ease while no one else’s voice in the world could.

"I wish we could see them too. But we’ll see them next Christmas and hopefully the one after that. Dad's getting tired of everyone's attitude over here. So, we might be able to convince him to just not drag us out here anymore. You, mom, and I can convince dad for sure. Three against one"

Katie chuckled, "you have a point there" but she stopped chuckling and sighed, "But I just wish dad had realized earlier. He obviously doesn't like coming. He doesn't HAVE to come and bring us with him"

"And that's true. You don't owe, wait lemme just..." He groaned and slowly sat next to her in the snow, feeling the extreme cold and getting up again to squat back down next to her instead.

"...yeah, like you don't owe anyone anything. Just because they're family, it doesn't mean you'd be betraying them for not wanting to be around their toxicity"

"Only took him a couple of years to realize it" the smaller female mumbled.

"Yeah. But better late than never. He's realizing it now" Matt shrugged. "C'mon, let's go back inside. Maybe we can get a turn in whatever game they're playing" he spoke as he got up, but she grabbed a hold of his hand and held it tightly. 

She wasn’t tall enough to grab his arm once he was up but, in a way, she was glad. Even if it was just for a few seconds, holding his hand in hers felt nice.

"Nooo, let's stay out here for a little while longer, please?" she pleaded, making her eyes look as big and watery as she could make them. The Look usually worked when she wanted to get something from someone unless it was Keith or their mother. Her mother got annoyed for the most part while Keith just didn’t understand how that was supposed to persuade him. He would always tell Katie it looked like she needed to sneeze.

"Pidge, don't..." The male began and looked away, but he could still see her in the corner of his eye. "...fine. Five minutes tops 'cause it's too cold for this. On one condition though"

"Which is?"

"We change the subject. You're way too moody right now for my liking"

Katie snorted at that, rising to her feet and dusting some snow off her. Her backside felt a little frozen, but she was too stubborn to go back inside immediately and warm up. Also, in a way, Matt would be winning if they did that. "That's fine. What do YOU wanna talk about?"

"I dunno. Something positive or funny" the male shrugged, looking at the many trees surrounding them. Then his gaze drifted off to the mountains in the distance, which had snow on their tips. Matt loved being surrounded by nature. Sure, he wouldn't pursue it out of his own volition but whenever he was dragged out to it, he didn’t complain. Pidge, on the other hand, wasn't the outdoors type, even if she was dragged out to it.

"Something positive? Well, it seems like you're liking the view…guess that's a positive" Katie said, watching him for a few moments. She found it cute, the way his eyes seemed to tinkle as he dozed off and the faint smile that curved at the corner of his lips. Perhaps she just liked seeing him happy.

"Hm? Sorry, I didn't hear what you said" Matt said, shaking his head and turning his attention back to his younger sister. He had felt her staring (which he too enjoyed), he just didn't hear exactly what she said.

"I said, I can't really think of anything positive or funny. I can think of something funny, but that is not really positive?" She said, though that last part was more of a question.

"If it's funny, it's fine. Shoot"

"Alright. Well, I'm pretty sure I saw Mackenzie kiss Daniel"

“Gross!” Matt laughed, “though, you’re not too pure yourself!”

“Come again?” the girl questioned, raising an eyebrow at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well” he began, briefly departing his gaze in an opposite direction, “you keep bringing up the incest shit”

“Yeah, because it’s weird. And funny” she explained, but deep down she knew it was for another reason. She had thought about it before, hadn’t she? What it would feel like to be that close with Matt. Closer than what siblings are supposed to be. Whenever she felt bold, she’d try to get physically close, but this was the first time she tried insinuating anything in a conversation. Bringing up subjects like this was the most she could actually do. Out of curiosity, she just wanted to see his reactions to these sorts of things.

Matt locked his gaze on some trees in the distance once again, and there is stayed for a few moments before he spoke, “I mean, they’re from the south so its kind of expected. Though, if it continues their genetic diversity will decrease and- “

“Birth defects”

“Yup.” He finally looked back at her and got up with a groan. “I can’t feel my thighs. I dunno if it’s because of the cold or ‘cause I’ve been squatting for so long. C��mon, let’s head back inside” Matt said, looking over and nodding in the direction of the house before walking towards it. Katie followed suit while huffing in annoyance, her breath visible due to the cold. However, once they were in the porch Matt stopped in his tracks. 

“Wait, actually” he began, turning around so that his back was facing the door.

“What?”

“I forgot something in the car. Let’s go get it before we go inside”

*    *     *  

The Holts had to rent a car shortly after arriving, due to the remote location of the family get together. Sam and Matt had taken turns driving so Matt still had the keys with him. After unlocking the door, he slipped inside the passenger seat and opened the glove compartment. Katie just stood beside him and leaned in closer to get a peek at whatever he was getting. Shiny red wrapping paper was visible in an unsorted shape as Matt brought it out.

“What’s that?” Katie asked, staring at it as she wondered what was inside. Matt was never good at wrapping presents or anything that involved tape, scissors or glue.

“Your Christmas present. I didn’t wanna give it to you in front of them so, might as well give it to you now. Hope you like it.” He handed the gift to her and awaited her reaction. Katie took her hands out of her pockets and took the gift wrapped in red wrapping paper. “I know it’s kinda lame but…yeah’

“It’s soft” she thought out loud and ripped the paper away to reveal a pair of green and fluffy mittens. A smile spread across her lips while she slipped on the mittens. “They’re not lame, I love them!”

He chuckled, a warm feeling forming in the pit of his stomach when her eyes lit up like that. And that smile of hers somehow made his heart beat faster. Suddenly, she moved closer and wrapped hers arms around him to bring him into a hug. He did the same, wrapping his arms around Katie’s waist and holding her tightly. Maybe a little too tightly because Katie let out a grunt when he squeezed. But it was still comforting to be held that tightly in his arms, taking in his warmth and taking in his scent. In the back of her mind, she knew she shouldn’t feel this way, but it was just so…pleasant to be this close to him.

After a few moments Matt pulled away and Katie did the same, but she wished they could have stayed like that for a while longer. But that would be a little weird. 

“Do you wanna stay in the car for a while longer? I can turn on the heater and we can just chill” Matt suggested, causing Katie to chuckle a little.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?!”

“I didn’t think of it. Why didn’t YOU say something?” Matt retorted, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I didn’t think of it”

“Exaclty!”

 *        *        *

"I wish we had some weed right now. We could hot box the car" Matt laughed lightly, slouching down to get more comfortable in the warmth of the car seat. They were in the back seats of the car.

"Yeah, but we couldn't have taken any on the plane anyway" Katie replied with a shrug, rubbing her hands together. She still had the mittens on, even though the heater was on in the car and they were a little sweaty but she refused to take them off. It was nice to get away from everyone else for the time being and be around Matt. Just Matt. "We should probably turn off the heater before we kill the battery"

"Yeah.  But you're closer..."

With a roll of the eyes Katie took off her right mitten, got off the seat and made her way between the two front seats, leaning over and shutting off the heater. She also shut off the ignition.

As wrong as it was, Matt's eyes drifted onto Katie's backside. He was sure it was just an impulse and nothing more. It wouldn't be the first time Matt's eyes wondered around her body. Specially in the summer and spring when she wore those summer dresses and skirts which left her smooth legs exposed. He always told himself it was just curiosity or instinct to look at her legs or her shoulders when they were exposed, but did that explain the urge to know how she looked underneath those summer clothes? Probably not.

After shutting everything off, Katie flopped back down onto the backseat landing a little closer to Matt than earlier. She slipped the right mitten back on her hand before turning back to Matt, whom was already watching her.

"...I low-key wish I was stoned right now"

She snorted, "You’re stoned half the time. And you already said that"

"I mean, yeah but I really wanna. Just think about it, we could be stoned here in the car, maybe watch a movie on my laptop and just chill 'til mom or dad noticed we’re missing"

"That actually sounds really nice. Maybe next year when we spend Christmas with mom's family" Katie spoke, moving her gaze away from Matt and out the front window though not much was visible due to the condensation.

"I mean we don't have to wait that long. Maybe once we get home when mom and dad have one of their date nights we can just relax" he continued while looking at her. That feeling in the pit of his stomach, a warmth that swirled and swirled around, wouldn't go away. He needed to be closer to her. In the back of his mind, he knew exactly what he wanted from her. But that would be inappropriate. Disgusting. But he also wanted it. This always happened every few weeks, the feeling would go away and then come back. Maybe it would go for months at a time and then bam, he’s thinking about it and about her. But right now, those feelings and those thoughts were more intense than ever before. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance she was curious or even felt the same way. He could test the grounds.

"True. If they knew we smoked or ate edibles they'd kill you"

"Me?!"

"Of course! They wouldn't think their sweet little girl would ever do such a thing unless she was peer pressured to do so" she increased the pitch of her voice as much as she could and made her eyes big and watery to give him her best Look.

"You're 19! Little my ass. And it’s no fair you always get to use that look to get out of trouble"

"It’s not, but if it gets me out of trouble oh well" she then stuck her tongue out at him. "But as long as we keep it a secret, we should be just fine"

"Yeah, then we could uh you know, Netflix and chill or some shit" Matt said, heart now racing as he awaited her reaction. Heat rose to his cheeks, feeling the thumping of his heart against his chest. Maybe he shouldn’t have opened his big mouth. But wasn’t that much of a weird thing to say, right? It was a meme and he could just play it off as a joke if he needed to, right?

Sand colored eyes stared up at a pair that mirrored her own, unsure of what to think of how to respond to something like that. She probably should respond as soon as she could because if she lingered on that thought for too long it would seem strange. But she was also curious as to why he would joke like that, specially when the subject of incest came up earlier.

“Netflix and chill with your sister?” she spoke slowly, pressure lingering on every word as she bought herself more time. After a few more seconds it was followed with, “now what’s that supposed to mean?”

There was no hostility or confusion in her voice as she asked this. She just chuckled lightly and let herself smile. It was somehow nice to think of it that way, thinking that he wanted to be that close to her. As close as a couple would. It wasn’t like she thought about it very often, in fact, whenever those thoughts and those feelings crawled out from the back of her head, she’d do her best to push them away and ignore them. But here they were by themselves bringing up subjects they shouldn’t. Maybe the Holts just didn’t know much about subtlety.

But the male hesitated, putting his words together as best he could before speaking, “I uh suppose it means I was joking about incest. L-like you were when you brought up aunt Melissa earlier. Maybe we should head back, it’s getting cold in here-”

“So, you’re joking about fucking your little sister, huh?” she teased, her lips moving as soon as the words popped into her head. Somehow her filter had temporarily stopped, unable to process what was on her mind before she spoke; this had never happened before in her life. They had crossed the line rather suddenly.

“Do you want to fuck me, Matt?”

If Matt’s cheeks were not red like a tomato before they sure were now as he took in what she just said. No. He couldn’t respond. Did she know? Did he actually want to answer that? After all, he started it. It got too real really fast. And as much as he wanted to say ‘yes’ and pin her down on the backseat, he knew he couldn’t. They shouldn’t. Not here. Not when their whole family is just a few feet away in the house. He had to leave before anything he might regret happens.

Without another word, the male opened the door and stepped out of the car, not caring to close it and just walking towards the house, the music and chatter getting louder and louder as he approached.

“What the fuck, Matt?” he whispered to himself, walking away from the car and to the house as fast as he could. That didn’t happen. It was one of those scenarios that he played in his head, those that he imagined prior to saying something stupid. That didn’t actually happen, right?

The wood of the front porch creaked as he stepped on it and then moved to the door. He opened it and was greeted with now louder chatter and the obnoxious music that the siblings wanted to escape in the first place. Closing the door behind him, he made his way past a few relatives that stood around just talking while simultaneously getting in everyone’s way. Walking past the kitchen and up the stairs, he headed to where all the younger relatives were playing video games. As he did, Matt put his hands in his pockets and thought about Katie. At least her hands wouldn’t be cold.

[lordsunriot]

two heroes review (dub) (minor spoilers obv)

the movie was super funny n really good. like there were a lot of twists i didn’t expect and it was all so moving and i had a rly good time. i’ll put a list of reactions and whatnot under the cut. i won’t give away any huge spoilers, it’s mostly me talking about how much i love them all.

the entire plot lies around david shield being super fucking gay for all might like not even exaggerating. jit stands around in empty rooms looking at a photo of all might as a pastime. calls him toshi. it’s incredible.

all might and david would just STARE at each other A LOT it was CRAZY.

there’s also a flashback of when they first met. all might’s shirt fell off.

I LOVE MELISSA SO MUCH!!! SHE CALLS ALL MIGHT UNCLE MIGHT!!! she is so good i love her so much. she’s so smart and brave and i love her. she and deku get along sooo well and it’s really sweet and they work together fantastically!

all the girls were so lovely in this movie. of 1-a, ochako, momo, and jirou were in the story. tsuyu, tooru, and mina were at the hotel and there’s a few scenes with them.

speaking of, sato and sero were hanging out together as well. and shouji and tokoyami were hanging together too!

kirishima n bakugo were gay, obviously. the shit you’ve seen in spoilers is basically it but it was great. when it cuts to them wandering around “””lost””” when kiri “”””left”””” his phone, it just’s a close up of bakugo going, monotone, “moron. you absolute idiot” and that was funny to me.

bakugo screaming kirishima’s name after he saved him.... oof... then kiri blushing when bakugo thanked him... lol..... gay

jirou and momo were very touchy. they were both so great and confident in this, especially momo! so so good. i love them

momo is very confident and smart!!! i love her! she uses all of her strength to help her classmates, and figures out solutions to a lot of their predicaments. they would b so lost without her i stg

jirou very good. properly Punishes mineta and kami for being dumb. she’s beautiful and shy but badass

honestly mineta and kaminari were being Them but kaminari had some great moments and when mineta wasnt being gross his scenes were actually kinda funny. i mean they were still both lowkey useless lmao

iida was hilarious. he’s such a good boy. there were like 2 times where he’d Run towards the screen talking and it was so funny. his hand movements were also the best. really badass too kickin shit everywhere. at one point his pants ripped to reveal his thick ass calves

before taking off iida dabbed for like a split second

also when kirishima was stuck in the wall after the 80th floor fight he was t-posing.

there were some really good deku & ochako and deku & melissa moments. it was rly nice.

also?? surprisingly?? todoroki and bakugo moments? like i think(?) kiri called them a good team and there were parts where todoroki just like.. smiled at bakugo or whatever. they were both smiling cuz of whatever but todoroki was lookin At bakugo like a fool.

todoroki would literally just go “midoriya...” unprompted with NO follow up like BOY LMAO

midoriya would also be like “todoroki! and everyone else!” that forreal happened. hon....

bakugo was screaming mostly as usual but he was great. super badass as you’d expect smh. he saved ochako at one point.

ok but there was one part where his arm like cramped up or something but then he says (to all might(?)) something along the lines of “you idiot, losing to some villain like this” or whatever (i think the word weak was in there somewhere and probably a curse but i forgot) and i thought he was talking to himself at first and i was like BRO WHERED THAT COME FROM. but i was mistaken. anyways.

the fight scenes were really well done!! very smooth and dynamic and overall not too hard to follow, either. and so exciting omg. ESPECIALLY with deku omg. obviously he has the best scenes and it’s . very good.

there’s a few plot twists and it’s insane. like you don’t... really expect it at all. 

once things start heating up it kinda has overhaul arc vibes cuz of the villain’s quirk and also he just straight up pulls out a gun on people.

deku and all might have the BEST fight scenes and it’s unlike anything we’ve seen in the show and it was just. rly impactful tbh. it was so cool.

i’d die for melissa. i love her so much.

the movie was overall really funny? just like in expressions and things happening and idk man but it was great, everyone in the theater was laughing a lot.

music was fantastic. love the young all might theme.

during the credits there were some stills of them eating bbq! koda’s there! kirishima goes to a brooding bakugo with two kabobs! tsuyu and ochako are like, feeding each other kabobs?! idk but it was gay.

i might be forgetting stuff but im rly tired so!!! im hoping to see the sub version on monday so ill post another one of these then maybe ?!

[essentiallychaotic]

85 statements R U L E S : you must answer these eighty five statements and tag twenty people I was tagged by the always wonderful @acynicandanidealist​ ^-^ (also sorry if this has been tagged for a bit, my tumblr didn’t tell me so if I’m doing this weirdly late whoops :/ ) I would like to tag: @skittles-pixie​, @pacificjim​, @khanleesi​, @keepingkaya​, @astreana​, @elfiethewicked​, @bleustocking​, @cuemypulse​, @wingleader​, @lokidiabolus​, @scribbly-wibbly-stuff​, @stenchy-wench​, @universalhouseplant​, @shalanos​, @nancysinatras​, @dragonsdawn​, @hungry-angry-lyingdown​, @horaetio​, @inktaire​, @pntmrcys​, aanndd anyone else who wants to do it!

Also sorry if the formatting is wonky, I’m on mobile. Part 1: the last: drink: Water, I have this like quart mason jar with a drink lid, cause I’m one of those people I guess :P phone call: I talked to my Dad this afternoon text message: Uummm… I had to go check haha, it was Cece song you listened to: Probably something by David Bowie this morning (followed by me wandering around the house just singing his name, just repeated dramatic “Bowie!” My dogs loved it) Ooo unless movies count, then whatever is the credits song for the new Ghostbusters :D time you cried: I cried cutting up shallots tonight… other than that idk… I cried during Wonder Woman, seeing my childhood hero portrayed so perfectly was emotional Part 2: Ever: dated someone twice: Like gone on two dates? Yes. I think I’ve gone on two dates (technically three) with two different people. I don’t really date much tho, it takes so much time and college is a lot of work kissed someone and regretted it: Nah, I’ve learned something about how people are every time, hard to regret useful life lessons been cheated on: That involves a relationship so no lost someone special: No one that has passed away, but last fall I had to realise that a friendship had turned really toxic and was impacting my stress and health, which was really hard because she was very important to me, and losing that friendship has been a point of pain this year been depressed: Yes, I’ve just gotten to the point in the last two years where I am able to manage it and not let my depression or anxiety impact my life. I’m really lucky that I don’t have to take meds for it, mainly because I’m super forgetful and never remember to take any pills I’ve ever had gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes and I don’t recommend it. It’s very not fun Part 3: Favourite colours: Green, blue, brown, gold, and red Part 4: In the last year have you: made new friends: I have, and they are all wonderful people fallen out of love: Nope laughed until you cried: I think I have, but even if I haven’t actually cried I’ve gotten close, I’m blessed with wonderfully funny people and pets in my life ^-^ found out someone was talking about you: Yeah my professors, apparently it was nice things but it still freaks me out when they casually are just like “oh that reminds me, we were talking about you at the meeting the other day…” met someone who changed you: Maybe more of met people who affirmed my belief that people can be good and kind and caring, and that I should keep working to be present in the kind and caring parts of myself (cause boy did I used to be bitter and grumpy) found out who your friends are: I feel like this is that “when times get tough you’ll find who your REAL friends are” kinda thing… which I don’t really put a lot of stock in because I think awareness of who people are and where they are at is important in respecting them as individuals… I did lose a couple of friends in the whole big ending toxic friendship thing, but I kinda saw those coming and there’s no hard feelings kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope Part 5: General: how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I have met them all in real life but one. He and his friends were drunk and at the same hostel as my friend when she was on the phone with me and he asked her if he could talk to her friend and it was hilarious and he added me on facebook do you have any pets: Two puppies do you want to change your name: Nah, my name means born of fire, and I kinda like that… plus it also is connected to my mom’s name in a weird, circuitous way and I like that too what did you do for your last birthday: I had class and work, and then planned on meeting up with friends for our usual pub-and-board-games night and they surprised me with cheesecake and those candles that relight themselves… it was a fun night :) what time did you wake up: 9am-ish what were you doing at midnight last night: Playing with my phone I think… reading something on Ao3 name something you can’t wait for: I start grad school in Belfast this fall, so I’m really excited and also crazy nervous about that when was the last time you saw your mom: A couple of hours ago when we were watching Ghostbusters (I love that movie, Melissa McCarthy is my hero) what are you listening to right now: Silence. Also my dog licking her paws. Everyone here is asleep. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, remember that one random friend on facebook? His name was Tom… there are probably other from college but I’m drawing a blank something that is getting on your nerves: Just… just so much of the social inequality and how badly our social system fails people who need support… and the fact that their voices aren’t respected and sought out when it comes to telling their stories, like what is that??? most visited website: Ummm… tumblr, gmail, facebook, and my grad school’s website are probs all really close rn hair colour: Natural is a mediumish darker brown colour… currently it’s a brownish/purple colour bc I dyed it months ago and just let it fade long or short hair: Shoulder length, so longish? It makes it easier to control my curls and make them feel fun do you have a crush on someone: Nope what do you like about yourself: Aahhh…. I like to think I’m fun to hang out with I guess… I’m that person whose like “let’s go on an adventure!” And then drags friends to walmart at midnight before walking around campus piercings: I have my ears pierced, and my nose. I used to have my septum pierced too but I took it out. blood type: B positive nickname: Mack or Kenzi relationship status: Happily single, dating takes work and always feels like I’m trying to present this nice and shiny version of myself…. anyone else feel that? zodiac: Aries pronouns: She/Her favourite tv show: Gilmore Girls gets my soul, but Stargate Atlantis is right there too tattoos: Tribalesque (i don’t know any other way to describe it) Celtic woman on one shoulder blade, Celtic tree of life on the other, I have the words “hope is a thing with feathers” (Emily Dickinson) on my left forearm, two black bands around my right forearm, three dots on my right hand ring finger, and this three dots, three lines celtic symbol on my left ring finger (those last two were done in my dorm room last year by friends). I’m also about to get a rose on my right forearm and my bro and I are going to get small sibling tattoos right or left handed: Right, but I can kinda write with my left bc in elementary school this kid in my class broke their dominant arm and it freaked me out bc if that happened to me I wouldn’t be able to do my schoolwork so I practised writing with my left hand. (I can also write so it’s perfectly backwards like a mirrored image bc I used to get bored in class sometimes) piercing: Yup. sport: I watch soccer and baseball, but I don’t play anything (Sleep break and also tired of fighting with mobile yaaayyy) vacation: Oooohhh anyplace with marvellous culture and history really. But I’d love to go to Paris or Rome. pair of trainers: Do converse count? Part 6: more general : eating: All food is wonderful but I love my dad’s bigos stew. drinking: Water with lemon in it. Or coffee and tea I’m about to: Finish watching Ladies in Lavender then go to bed. 

waiting for: Grad school to start this fall. (See: also slightly nervous about starting) want: To see the David Bowie exhibit in Seattle. get married: If I find the right person. I want something lowkey and fun tho, like a party that happens to have a wedding at it haha. career: I dunno, I’m looking at college professor/author right now. Or just switching gears and pursuing musical theatre haha. hugs or kisses: I like hugs more, but not when people just surprise me with them. lips or eyes: Always eyes. shorter or taller: I’m 5'9" so I guess taller…? older or younger: I am 24 sooo I feel older but really that’s quite young in the grand scheme of things. nice arms or nice stomach: I gotta be real I love nice biceps. hook up or relationship: Relationship. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on my mood and the situation. kissed a stranger: Yup. drank hard liquor: Yeppers, quite a bit actually. lost glasses or contact lenses: I misplace my glasses around the house all of the time but not actually lost them yet thank goodness. turned someone down: Yes. sex on the first date: Not my scene. broken someone’s heart: I really hope I haven’t, but I feel like I might have. had your heart broken: Only platonically by friendships that went south been arrested: Nope, and I hope to keep it that way haha. cried when someone died: I’ve yet to have someone I know personally die, and I hope it’s a long way off still. fallen for a friend: I have friends that I was attracted to at the start of our friendship, but never really fallen for them no. Part 7: do you believe in: yourself: I do now, but it took several years. miracles: I do, but I also think they’re not quite what we describe for them in our cultural narratives . love at first sight: No, love involves seeing people clearly and unconditionally caring for them. I think we can have connection at first sight but not love really. Santa Claus: I believe that Santa Clause is the spirit of Christmas and a wonderful way to see good in the world. kiss on the first date: Depends. But normally no. I did have a first date that ended in a firm handshake. That was interesting. He was also the one who on our second date listened to me explain the beowulf text narrative arc for St Christopher and was genuinely interested so… angels: I am definitely open to the possibility. Part 8: Other: current best friend’s name: Cece is my bae. eye colour: Green. Favourite movie: Reality Bites or Pride and Prejudice

[sixthousandninehundredmiles]

September 4, 2017 So today was my first day of school!!! But it was honestly very uneventful LOL The day started off perfectly ^__^ because I got to see the most handsome guy in the world in the morning on FaceTime :') After we hung up, I quickly got ready and packed my bag for school and headed out. Thankfully I found my classroom rather quickly, otherwise I would've been so stressed because I hate being lost bleh. My first class was Statistics, and it was ok? Like I mean it's just very dry material, you can't really make it into something insanely interesting when it's not? So yeah I kinda dosed off near the end LMAO. But it was also awk cause I had to talk to her after about my calculator. There's like an approved list of calculators, and mine was not on that list... so yeah I had to ask her but she was so sweet and said it was fine! thank god i did not want to get another calculator 

So after class, I met up with two of my friends, JongHong and Nicolas. They both have girlfriends back home so don’t worry!! They’re both also really nice! JongHong is like a mini genius from Korea. He’s already 24, but he’s also the youngest person in Korea to hold a CPA license, and he’s worked at KPMG for a senior analyst. They had breakfast but I was just chilling because I had plans with Melissa and Doris for lunch! Melissa is the one with darker hair. They’re both extremely sweet haha I love them. I had these noodles with soybean paste and it was like the first good thing that I’ve had at the dining canteens… yeah it was a miracle. Then they needed to go to this supermarket called Wellcome so I decided to tag along. It’s a lot better than the one that I’ve been going to! Which is cool. So I bought a couple of bananas and apples and some hello panda for snacking hehe. I also bought this giant frozen yakult which was honestly SO GOOD I loved it. Especially cause I was eating it while walking back in the heat. Then I was walking and I saw this café so I popped inside and they had this mango juice in this really bougie ass bottle LOL it was so funny. So I just bought it and drank some. Not bad?

Then I went back to my room to shower and stuff and I was just chilling and talked to you for a bit. Then for dinner we went to this really good dim sum place! It’s called One Dim Sum. I thought it was some really good dimsum. Like that fried thing you told me to get, and their baked bbq pork buns were insanely good. Haha We have to go to this place when you come! I really enjoyed it. And the total came out to be 12 dollars USD per person. And we had soooo much food. It was really funny cause in the beginning we literally ordered so much food that the waitress came back and was like “this is too much, im cutting __ and __ in half” LOL but she was right, we barely finished the remaining dishes. Worth it though

And I wanted an early night because I am sooo exhausted. So I decided to skip going to the bar with them, and just come back to my dorms to get ready for bed, write on tumblr, and wait for your call.

I love you baby!

Kisses mwah