#the curriculum is a compromise of me screaming into their face

[mumblingsage]

My other opinion is that anyone who says "Kids and young people shouldn't read XYZ because it contains ABC" should be chained in a dungeon and only allowed to read a curriculum of my choosing for 7 to 10 business days.

This is a pointlessly punitive stance, but it is mine.

[midnighttmarauder]

Compromised

Pairing: Sirius x Potter!reader

Summary: Reader gets kidnapped while on an undercover mission, and Sirius will stop at nothing to get her back. 

Warnings: mentions of torture/pain, mention of death, minor violence

Tags: @evyiione @quokkatrash @accio-rogers

***

“Potter, we need you on a mission tonight,” Moody said. You, James, and Lily looked up. “Y/N, not you two.”

“Why not?” James whined.

“Because I’m the best Potter,” you replied.

“Oh, really? I beg to differ, little sister,” James retorted. Lily smirked and winked at you over his shoulder.

“I don’t have time for your sibling squabbles. Come with me, Y/N,” Moody said. You stuck your tongue out at James as you followed Moody out into the hallway.

“What’ve you got for me this time?” you asked.

“Undercover mission at an all-girls academy. There’ve been multiple death eater sightings in the area, and we suspect there might be one on the inside,” Moody replied.

“I won’t have any backup?” you asked.

“No, it’ll look too suspicious if we bring in too many people at once,” Moody grumbled.

“Not that I’m questioning your judgement or anything, but why me? Why not Lily? She’s been on more undercover missions than I have,” you said.

“She may have been on more missions than you, but you said it yourself. You’re the best, Potter.”

The academy was the complete opposite of Hogwarts. There wasn’t a tinge of laughter in the hallways. No crooked ties or untucked shirts. No students cracking jokes or even smiling. The girls avoided your eyes as you walked through the winding halls, clipboard pressed tightly to your chest. Acting as a supervisor was proving to be hard work considering you were barely older than many of the girls – and shorter than a few. Constant vigilance echoed in your head around every turn, with every suspicious noise or glance in your direction. You nearly stupefied a young girl as she barreled around the corner and right into your stomach.

“I’m sorry, miss,” she said. She peered over her shoulder, her hands shaking at her side. She couldn’t have been older than nine or ten.

“That’s alright. What’s your name?” you asked.

“Helen, miss,” she replied.

“Nice to meet you, Helen. My name is Amelia and I’m here from the Ministry,” you said as you pointed to the nametag that Remus had fabricated.  

“What does the Ministry want from us?” Helen asked, her voice shaking.

“I’m only here from the board of education to make sure your curriculum is suitable for girls your age. I was hoping you could help point me in the direction of the headmistress’ office. I think I took a wrong turn and now I’m terribly lost,” you replied.

“Come with me, miss,” Helen said. She took your hand with small, shaking fingers and began to lead you the way she had come. It was quiet for a few moments with only the sound of her shoes clicking against the floor.

“If you don’t mind me asking, Helen, what were you running from? Are there any other girls bothering you?” you asked innocently.

“No, miss. I just thought I saw something,” she replied.

“What did it look like?” you asked.

“It was dark. Like a cloud. I couldn’t see much, but it looked like there was a snake,” Helen said. She swallowed thickly. You didn’t have the chance to reply as you reached the headmistress’ office. “This is where I leave you, miss. We’re not allowed in there unless we’re summoned.”

“Thank you for your help, Helen,” you replied. You squeezed her hand and she gave you a shaky smile. You knocked on the office door and when you turned, she was gone. A vaguely familiar voice called for you to enter and you pushed the door open.

Your clipboard clattered to the floor.

“Well, well. If it isn’t little Potter,” said Bellatrix Lestrange. Your hand shot to your pocket and you pulled out your wand, pointing it at her just as she did the same.

“Are you the headmistress?” you asked.

“No. She was,” Bellatrix replied, pointing lazily behind the desk. You edged further into the room and gasped at the woman lying on the floor, staring unseeing at the ceiling.

“I don’t understand,” you muttered.

“Merlin, you’re slow. I killed her! We have a girl on the inside that let me in, I killed the headmistress, and now we can turn all of these girls into death eaters. Isn’t it wonderful?” Bellatrix cackled.

“You’re mad,” you said.

“Maybe. But you will be too,” Bellatrix said. You furrowed your brows as Bellatrix jutted her chin at something behind you. You turned and were too late as a burst of red light filled your vision.

***

“Black, Potter. Come with me,” Moody said as he stormed by them in the living room.

“He really has to be more specific,” Lily muttered as she followed James and Sirius into the kitchen. She looked at Moody and crossed her arms. “Did you mean me or James?”

“Both of you will do. Listen, I’m just going to get straight to the point here. Y/N was compromised and she was captured,” Moody said. Everyone’s blood went cold.

“By who?” Sirius asked.

“Your cousin,” Moody replied. Sirius swore viciously and began pacing. It took everything in him to not shatter anything within arm’s reach.

“Do you know where she is?” James asked.

“We think she’s at the Malfoy’s. That’s usually where they take their more…important hostages,” Moody said.

“Let’s go get her then,” Lily said.

“It’s not that simple. We can’t just go in there, wands blazing,” Moody replied.

“Why not? They’ve got my sister,” James spat.

“I understand, but we have to have a plan,” Moody said.

“Screw the plan!” Sirius yelled, slamming his fist on the table. “They always fall apart when we get there, and we don’t have time. Merlin knows what they’re doing to her.”

***

Your throat was raw. It felt like you had been screaming for days. You faded in and out of consciousness, Bellatrix’s maniacal laugh weaving its way through your head.

“I’m getting tired of asking. Tell me where your headquarters are. Now!” Bellatrix yelled. You shook your head with a tired laugh.

“And I’m getting tired of repeating myself. I won’t tell you anything,” you replied. Searing pain coursed through your body and your back arched off the chair. Your screams echoed around the room as you clenched your eyes shut.

“Who do you answer to?” Bellatrix asked.

“Merlin,” you replied. Red-hot agony.

“What were you doing at that academy?” she asked.

“Trying to enroll.” Something sliced your cheek. You opened your eyes to find Bellatrix inches from your face, her dagger poised against your jaw.

“Don’t be smart with me or you’ll lose your tongue! I’m going to try one more time. Who do you answer to?” Bellatrix yelled.

“I already told you – Merlin. Or would you prefer God?” you drawled.

“You’re going to wish they were here to save you,” Bellatrix spat. She pulled her dagger back just as the crack of apparition resounded in the room.

“Expelliarmus!” Bellatrix’s knife clattered to the floor as her wand flew out of her other hand and straight into Sirius’. You almost sobbed in relief as James and Lily appeared beside him. The three of them pointed their wands at Bellatrix, and she raised her hands mockingly in surrender.

“Get the hell away from her,” Sirius growled.

“Well, if it isn’t my favourite Gryffindors. Always so brave but so stupid. Did you really think it would be this easy?” Bellatrix asked.

As if on cue, several death eaters apparated into the room. James and Sirius pressed their backs against Lily’s, forming a defensive circle.

“What do you want from my sister?” James spat.

“Information. I knew it was only a matter of time before you lot would come running. I thought I would break her by now, but I do have to admit that she’s stronger than she looks,” Bellatrix replied. She put a finger under your chin and lifted it, forcing you to look her in the eye as she smacked you across the face. James had to hold Sirius back.

“Let her go. We’ll tell you whatever you want,” Lily said.

“Don’t,” you mumbled.

“But I haven’t had fun yet,” Bellatrix said with a pout. She held out her hand and one of the death eaters walked to Sirius. Without a word, he grabbed Bellatrix’s wand from Sirius’ hands and tried to take it. Sirius resisted, and the man delivered a blow to his stomach.

“Give it to him. Just give him what he wants,” you pleaded. Sirius met your eyes and with a pained look, handed the death eater the wand. Bellatrix laughed wickedly as the man put it back in her outstretched hand.

“Let’s see if your friends are smarter than you are. Where are your headquarters?” she asked.

“Don’t tell her,” you said. Bellatrix stepped behind you and put her wand to your temple.

“Where are your headquarters?” she repeated. Sirius opened his mouth.

“Don’t! We made a promise to the Order, don’t break it for me!” you yelled. Bellatrix mumbled something, and hot pain shot from your temple down to the tips of your toes. You gritted your teeth against a scream. Sirius clenched his jaw and looked away.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me that, then who do you answer to? I bet it’s Dumbledore,” Bellatrix said, spitting his name like it was poison. James narrowed his eyes at her.

“If he was, you’d already be dead,” he spat. Bellatrix’s laugh raised hairs on your neck.

“So much faith in a pathetic old man,” she drawled. “Now, I won’t ask again! Tell me or she dies!”

Another jolt of pain shot through your body, and you couldn’t fight the scream that forced its way out of your throat.

“Stupefy!”

Sirius had had enough.

Bellatrix was thrown backwards and slammed against the far wall. Chaos ensued. You tried your best to duck as spells flew over your head. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sirius making his way over to you. He hissed as a spell hit him in the shoulder, but he kept going, focused solely on you and getting you out.

“Hello, love,” he muttered as he reached you and began untying your ropes. When Sirius had untied the last rope, you sagged forward, unable to hold yourself up anymore, but he was there to catch you. You wrapped your arms around him with a shaky breath.

“You’re here,” you mumbled. All the chaos seemed to stop.

“I’m here, you’re safe. I’ve got you,” Sirius replied. He pressed a kiss to your temple and pulled back, holding you at arm’s length to inspect your injuries. James and Lily ran up behind him.

“Are you alright?” James asked. His eyes scanned across your face, stopping on your cheekbone.

“I’m okay,” you said.

“We managed to chase some off, but the rest are coming. We have to go. Now,” Lily said with an apologetic look. You nodded and made to stand up, but Sirius scooped you into his arms. You held on tight as he vanished.

The apparition left your head spinning. You groaned as Sirius carried you into Grimmauld Place and laid you down on the couch. James pulled him aside.

“I’ll debrief for you. You just take care of my sister, alright?” James said.

“Thanks, mate. I always do,” Sirius replied, clapping him on the shoulder. You heard him and Lily leave, and then Sirius kneeled in front of you. “You gave us a right scare.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but I can’t promise anything,” you said. Sirius chuckled bitterly.

“It’s alright. I’m just glad you’re home, safe and sound,” he replied, brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

“Thank you. I…don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t shown up when you did,” you muttered.

“I bet you would’ve kicked her ass,” Sirius said. You laughed, and your hand shot up to your ribs.

“Ow, please don’t make me laugh.” The smile slid off of Sirius’ face as concern shone in his eyes. He put his hand on top of yours and squeezed your fingers.

“Don’t worry, love,” he muttered, kissing your cheek softly. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

[sketchynebula]

Scribbles, Chapter 3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, You are here,

Scribble tag list: @mikado413 @pleasebringmerlinback @thecrimsoncodex @too-precious-to-process @skadinavien @lexi-love99 @lovisoverrated @kickthecel @rayndropsonrosez @lamp-calm-sanders@iaminmultiplefandoms @ffsas-side-account  @tree4life25 @thats-so-crash @sugarblob0 @pattongirl @fandoms-n-ship @izzynuggets  @pasteliosis @thisrandomperson102 @memepool1 @hayleycreagine @artistgracie @its-me-madzy @bunniicc

Content Warnings: Self-hate, parental death, short moment of slight dissociation, suicide, flashback of suicide, rejection, fainting, abandonment, emotional break down, descriptions of anxiety and breathing, verbal and physical bullying, neglectful adults

Pairing: LAMP

Word count: 4,725

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Angst

AU/trope: Soul-Mate AU  where whatever you write on your skin, it appears on your soulmate’s.

Summary: His mind worked over-time considering whether or not running to the other end of the building would be worth it, but as the fatigue from his sleepless night pressed into him, he decided it wasn’t. Today wasn’t going to be the day he decided to be punctual.Virgil’s English class was all the way across the school from his math class, so it was a long walk. Oh, and he also had it after math and that didn’t help his mood either.

There was a moment where he was sure that he would be late. His eyes peering into an empty classroom and checking the time, only to find that he technically only had three minutes to get there. His mind worked over-time considering whether or not running to the other end of the building would be worth it, but as the fatigue from his sleepless night pressed into him, he decided it wasn’t. Today wasn’t going to be the day he decided to be punctual.

By the time he had walked through the door to the classroom it had been a few minutes after the late bell. The class was all there, all 30 of them visibly acting every bit of ‘straight out of elementary school’ as one would suspect. Fortunately for Virgil’s attendance record, the teacher wasn’t there.

Unfortunately for Virgil’s eardrums, the teacher wasn’t there.

The teacher's desk was vacant, but clean with not a page of paper on it. That was probably just as well, since anything left unattended was almost certain to be looked through.

Virgil’s head was aching again. The windows poured bright light into the room and his head throbbed in pain with each noise that echoed in the class.

He moved to sit in the back, an area that was a little farther away from the windows and a little more closed off from the rest of the students. He sat, before laying his post-concussion head down. His arms wrapping around his head in order to try to muffle some of the sensory information.

He ignored all the kids around him, and they thankfully did the same, but somehow the mess of kids, middle school boys running around and girls talking loudly, made him feel even more closed off.

More isolated from everyone around him.

These kids ran around, laughing, with the privilege of being able to care about nothing more than homework and friendships. They weren’t nursing bruises and hiding concussions. They weren’t carrying drunk parents to their rooms at night and crying when new messages were written on their wrists.

He sniffed, the emotions swirling in him were too complex for his tired mind and he pulled his head off the desk before he could fall asleep. As he lifted it up, a piece of paper came with it, stuck to the side of his cheek.

As the paper floated back to the desk he looked around, seeing that a piece of lined paper was lying on the surface of each desk. A single word was written on the board, ‘Scribbles’, and just as a dawning sense of comprehension and dread filled him the teacher decided to make an appearance.

The teacher quickly bustled in the room, a familiar face that made Virgil stare unabashedly, eyes locking with the last person he wanted to see.

“Everyone sit down! I am sorry I’m late, it’s a long walk here from anywhere else in the school. That, however, does not mean you are allowed to descend to chaos in my absence.” She leveled the class with a glare. “I’m Mrs. Higgs, and I’m your English teacher.” Virgil felt his face flush, sinking into his desk. Of course she was. In his life there was no way that he wouldn’t have to see her everyday for a year.

“Today, we’re going to be working on a free-writing prompt, some children are better at creative writing while others are better at essays.” She turned moving to grab a few papers from her desk and having everybody pass one back, “It’s in my opinion that both aspects of writing and literature are important even if the curriculum only favours one, so I like to give the creative writers in the class space to like language arts and use it as a supplement to improve their writing. Everyday when you come in, there will be a writing prompt on the board, you will write for the first fifteen minutes of class and turn it in after for a daily grade, if you are absent you won’t have to make it up and it won't negatively affect you. this isn’t supposed to be a stressful activity it’s just to expand your mind and get credit for doing it. I am handing out the syllabi and then we are to get started on our prompt,”

As the papers moved from hand to hand, Virgil’s eyes helplessly looked at the prompt. Of all the things he hated the most the list topper had to be sharing his writing. He wasn’t any good, and there was never any reason that anybody in his life had to know anything about the personal inner workings of his mind.

“We’re going to start the fifteen minutes now, try your best to stay writing the entire time- go.”

Virgil’s hand shook as he glanced from the board back to his paper. Idea’s bouncing around his head, none of them he felt comfortable with a teacher reading.

Especially a teacher that hated him.

He gripped the pencil hard before he settled for a compromise. His hand was hesitant as he wrote the first words, mind halting every few letters before his brain started to flow into the mindset. His hand movements slowly evening out, moving to weave emotions in fictional scenes.

He pulled real events out of context and projected them on a fictional world. A world that Virgil wouldn’t have to be responsible for later. Taking what he itched to write for the prompt, what he itched to tell the world, to scream at every teacher that looked at him like he was a criminal, and pressing it against a safe grey area. Somewhere in the middle a place where Virgil can adamantly deny being related to any of the words that graced the page.

Virgil wasn’t done writing by the time the teacher asked them to pass their papers forward, but he almost threw his sheet at the person in front of him. Just wanting this to be over.

The rest of the class was uneventful. The only other notable event being when Mrs. Higgs’s raised an eyebrow at him during roll-call. Virgil would have nodded off after that, but he was tense. His eyes staring forward the entire class.

That didn’t mean he was paying attention at all though. He felt far away from the situation, away from the room and the light and the pain. All until he found himself jumping at the sound of the bell. His body temporarily going rigid before he moved to reach down under his desk. His body buzzed with nerves, antsy to get out of here, to spare himself the embarrassment of having to be around Mrs. Higgs for any longer.

He slung his backpack over his shoulder, students brushing his side as they moved pass him to get to the door, but just as he reached it himself Mrs. Higgs called him back. One of her hands clutching his free-writing assignment in her grip and beckoning him over.

“Don’t worry, You’re not in trouble.” She asserted to him as he glanced at her warily. His cheeks burning.

She motioned him to take a seat in a desk in front of her, “This will only take a moment, however I will write you a pass to get to your next class.” Her lips scrunched, brows furrowing in a stern way.

Virgil fidgeted as the flash of that memory passed through his brain. His mind was flooded with all the other things it brought with it. Saturday was fast approaching, only two days away as the week quickly ends. Everything that that meant was fresh in his mind. He swallowed hard and gripped his hands together in his lap.

“Virgil, you’re writing is- far beyond your grade level.” She said, eyes running over the page again before carefully placing the writing down on the desk and pushing it toward him. “Have you ever thought of taking up writing as a future career choice?”

Virgil can’t say he’d ever really thought about his future, he always assumed he wouldn’t have one to begin with.

He pulled the paper back towards him a full 10/10 points graced the corner of the page in red ink and he shrugged. The thought never crossed his mind.

“There's a writers competition, an annual event that i think i want you to participate in,” she cleared her throat, “though i must admit i have never chosen a participant this early in the year-” Pulling a few papers out of one of the locked drawer of her desk, she circled around to him handing him the papers, a list of careers and different applications of writing was there, along with a ‘Young-Authors Competition’ registration form, the top page of the stack had a bolded title of ‘what you can do with writing’.

Mrs. Higgs nodded to the pages, “I recommend doing some research on some possible careers in the meantime, only if you’re interested of course. perhaps a journalist, or even maybe an author?”

Virgil's face was awestruck, hesitantly he shrugged. His brain backtracking turning the words over in his head. Trying to find any alternative meaning in them than the one he was being presented with. Anything that would make more sense.

His writing wasn’t good by any stretch of the word. It was jumbled and unthought out, each word was meaningless, a product of his mind spewing out emotions that he trapped inside himself over the years. His pulse increased at the very idea of a competition.

A writing competition with people who spent their lives learning how to be good writers. Students who wanted to write since they were young and not someone like him. Him who only wrote because he never seemed to be able to speak.

His shaking was visible now and Mrs. Higgs reached out, hand resting over top his clenched fists, trying to get them to still. The warmth and weight of it made him look up at her concerned expression.

“The competition isn’t until December, you have time to think about it dear.” She said softly, “I, of course, won’t and can’t force you to submit something against your will, and I for one think you are all a little young to be able to fully decide what you want to be in life.” She said gesturing to the pages she had given him, “but it’s better to be well informed and say no than be poorly informed and say yes.”

She patted his hands, before pulling away and moving around the desk, hunching over it to quickly scrawl out the information on a hall pass, ripping it out in one fast motion and handing it to Virgil.

“However, i would at least think about it.” She finished eyes imploring as she turned away from him.

Virgil swallowed hard, standing slowly before his body went into overdrive. He pulled his backpack off the floor, collecting his items and almost running out of the room. The concerned eyes of Mrs. Higgs following him as he went.

Virgil moved out of the way of oncoming hallway goers, ducking through the hall as he made his way to flow onto the correct side.

His fingers nervously tear the edges of the hall pass he was given. He was at lunch, but he appreciate the sentiment more than anything else. Most teachers didn’t care enough to write him one anymore.

Which Virgil wasn’t blaming them for. When someone is as consistently late as he is there came a time where there wasn’t a point.

Virgil’s hand pressed into his pocket, shoving the pass deep inside with it, and he held the small stack of papers in his left hand, eyes glancing over the words and dates.

The bodies moving in the hallway brushed up against him in an uncomfortable ‘sardine can’ way. Shoulders hitting against his until one particularly hard shove had his side slamming into the row of lockers beside him. The disorientation was instant, and the snickering that followed confirmed Virgil’s immediate hunch. He angled his head to see Ricky and Fred’s backs as they passed down the hallway. Laughing to themselves.

Virgil’s hands balled themselves into fists, crumpling the papers, as he kept walking. Hunching into his frustration, and the brand new ache in his shoulder, he walked until he was able to carefully and discreetly duck into the school library. A small area that attempted to tightly fit book shelves and open desks together.

Virgil spared a glance at the librarian at the front desk, he managed to give them a small smile despite his mood, you always wanted to be on a librarians good side. His hands pressed the papers to his chest so nobody else in the room would catch a glimpse of their content, before he moved to round behind a row of bookshelves that were further back.

He hadn’t eaten in the cafeteria since his first week of first grade, the memory of having chocolate milk poured down his back was humiliating enough that he was willing to take steps to not have it repeated.

Virgil pressed his back into the bookshelf there, the knobs of his spine aching uncomfortably. He slid to sit down, hidden in the small nook that he had found. He dragged his backpack into his lap, his legs stretching out in front of him.

Unzipping the top of his pack with one swift motion, he pulled out his sad, sad, sack lunch. A bag that he’s pretty sure he just threw some bread and an apple in that morning.

Virgil frowned at the memory of that morning. His mother having sat silently in the kitchen, nursing a hangover, probably not even knowing that she shared a memory with him from the night before. A memory that his brain couldn’t help echoing back at him when things were quiet. The words ‘I’m glad you don’t have a soulmate’ making him feel guilty and paranoid all at once.

He hunched into his corner, not bothering to touch the bread as he bit into the apple. His unoccupied hand pushed the papers roughly into the backpack before zipping it back up and tossing the pack to the wayside.

“Hey, Verg?” James’s voice whispered out, starling Virgil, who inhaled a bit of apple as James rounded around a shelf. “Guess what!”

Virgil panicked for a moment, coughing before shrugging, his mouth full. James laughed, nodding his head “i feel that! anyway- you know how Mrs. Kace used to be the AP French teacher at the High-school?” Virgil paused, startled at the sudden topic of conversation. He slowly managed a shrug.

He typically didn’t make a habit of talking to teachers, at least not as a pastime, and especially those he didn’t have to directly deal with.

“Well, okay - i guess long story short- I have a chance to win a Trip to France under an exchange student program!”

Virgil’s chest was suddenly tight, his eyes wide in shock before he swallowed hard and tried his best to smile. His face split into more of a grimace.

“Yeah! I might get to be with Sarah!” James gripped his hands together, eyes dancing over the written exchanges they shared on his arms all in french.

Virgil, felt the bit of apple be was able to swallow sour in his stomach, he nodded jerkily to James.

“That’s cool.” He said, his voice weaker than normal.

“Right! Sarah says her parents are more than willing to house both of us and my mom says that if we present out soulmate status they will most likely give me citizenship,” James’s voice was hard pressed to continue to be a whisper, his voice slowly rising in volume as he continued his small, hopeful rant. “-I mean it’s France they’re like the epicenter for soulmate finding resources, you know, as long as i can prove i can speak French well and yadda yadda whatever, I’ll be able to meet her! Isn’t it great!”

It was. He was happy. It was so good for James. He had worked his entire life for something like this. Deciding to be a French translator in second grade when they had first started to write to one another and found out about the language barrier they had to overcome.

He was going to be with his soulmate. In a school that wouldn’t immediately mentally connect him with the outcast and ostracized him in turn. A school where Virgil wasn’t ruining his only chances at being a normal kid.

Why can’t Virgil just be happy for him, why can’t he just be supportive.

Why can’t he just let his soulmates be happy without him.

“That’s amazing, I’m so glad you two- I’m glad you guys get to see each other and stuff.” Virgil said, eyes void, stony and guarded and James’s smile slowly faded, eyes filling with recognition,

“Oh i am such a dick.” He said, a grimace pulling at the sides of his mouth, “dude, i’m sorry, i totally forgot, here i am telling you all about Sarah when everyone knows-,” He paused voice lowering, even quieter than a normal whisper now, and leaning in, as if what he was saying wasn’t common knowledge to every kid in this school district “- everyone knows you don’t have a soulmate” James tried to look Virgil in the eye but Virgil just shook his head.

“No, it’s fine.” Virgil shrugged and James just shook his head back,

“No it’s not, I just- i can’t even imagine-...” Virgil looked at James eyes imploring him to change the subject.

“Anyway?” Virgil said, voice more neutral than his previous tone.

James hesitated before he continued “Anyway… I- I’m just saying that if my french essay gets chosen for this thing in November i’ll be gone by next semester so…”

Virgil nodded his head. That was it. He suddenly felt like he didn’t have anything left to lose anymore.

Scribbles

Virgil's fingers raked through his hair, grimacing. It seemed to be greasy no matter how often he washed it.

He met the mirror with a blank stare. His eyes had started to form light bags under them from inconsistent and sometimes nonexistent sleep. His reflection looked as tired and pale as he remembered it.

The surge of fear that he felt while his shaky hands pushed his hoodie back over the mirror was enough to make him question why he was here. Standing around and holding up the only bathroom in a comic shop near the Cedar cafe.

Who was he kidding?‘Strip’s Spot’ was a geek safe haven that was literally right across the street from the hipster paradise that was the Cedar Cafe. It’s large glass doors and windows making the comic shop a safe viewing spot.

It was stalking, basically. Virgil recognized this to the point that it was almost tormenting him. He was stalking them now.

Or maybe he was always stalking them. His arms and hands containing personal information about them that they wouldn’t normally have shared with anyone they didn’t trust. The question ‘would they trust him’ bouncing around his head was promptly answered by every dark part of his mind, the resounding ‘of course not’ breaking him down a little more.

“But we’re soulmates” he whispered to himself eyes settling over the fabric of his hoodie. “We’re- we are, soulmates.” He stated to himself shakily.

They have to love him.

Their soulmates.

“emphasis on the ‘have to’ part” he mumbled to himself, echoing his thoughts out loud. His mind wavering. He pulled his hoodie away from its place precariously balancing on the mirror, pulling it around his shoulders. He thumbed the sleeves, eyes catching another unwanted glimpse of himself from the mirror before he turned to unlock the bathroom door.

As his hand wrapped around the metal and he spared a moment to try and pull on an at least semi-good neutral face. The kind of face one wore for a public area.

His eyes blinked from being in the darkly lit bathroom to suddenly being in a well lit shop. He took in the dark patterned carpet and the vivid posters once more. His eyes nervously glancing around at the few shop goers as he moved to stand near one of the windows. He pulled one of the comics off the shelf, hands thumbing through it as he pretended to brows, eyes glancing up at the people around him. He was trying so hard to be casual, though that could wrap around and make him seem weird, ‘too casual’ is a thing that exists.

Was he being too casual?!

His pulled himself away from panically staring at a random page of a comic book only to have his eyes connect with the window.

He felt paralyzed.

He didn’t know how he knew it, though it was probably because they were the only party there that was larger than two, but when his eyes landed on the three of them he knew.

It felt like he had known them forever.

They were all standing in the outside seating area just outside of the cafe, hugging, all three of them so elated.

A redshirted boy that Virgil can only assume was Roman was almost jumping up and down. The boy who was obviously Patton, wearing a rather warm looking puppy and kitten themed sweater, was attempting to hug each of them together. The last of them had to be Logan who was smiling a warm smile, and hugging back when it suited him. They all seemed happy and Virgil felt a sting of envy again. Their warm arms and faces were exchanging looks and touches.

Virgil was standing in a Comic shop.

They fit so well together, their arms and hands wrapping around one another like it was the most natural thing in the world.

They fit.

They just- they fit together effortlessly.

His entire life Virgil had never fit anywhere, Virgil had been time and time again shown that he didn’t belong with anyone.

Apparently not even his soulmates.

He watched their hands curl into one another and their faces breaking out in bright smiles. He watched them confirm every fear he ever had, knowing that he could never do any of those things. He could never jeopardize them that way. His hands were cold, and his very presence brought gloom.

He had no place with the three of them. Their colour and their light was gift he was supposed to admire not contribute to.

Not that he had anything to contribute to it anyway.

Virgil tried to shake a barrage of thoughts from his head, eyes watering. The loud sound of a honking car horn startled him, blurry eyes raising to barely make out the faces of just as elated adults waving to the group from a car. Virgil’s cheeks flushed, hands almost dropping the comic book he was now tightly clutching, another car stayed down a ways, the parents smiling.

Normal families.

Normal happy families that Virgil can contact and ruin, ruin the same way he ruined his.

A flash of his fathers cold hanging body made his brain silence, his chest suddenly tighten, his mind tilting until there was nothing.

He woke up all at once, and the moment he was standing to the moment he was waking up on the floor felt like a mere instant appart. A concerned store manager hovering over him, a hand at the back of his head checking for an injury.

He pulled away from the strangers hands, the man's voice was muffled, sounding too far away from the still reeling Virgil.

“-Would you like me to call your parents” The words came into focus like a lense, slowly and with a gradient in time between indecipherable and clear. Virgil shook his head.

Who was there to call?

As Virgil sat up on the floor, he tilted back a little to peer out the glass doors, seeing both the cars and his soulmates gone.

‘Probably soul-bonding’ he thought to himself. Swallowing hard. An aching feeling filling his chest made him turn his head, and stare at the carpet there, mind dully wondering if there was ever going to be a time when things started to hurt less.

Scribbles

The night was all consuming and the edge of the table pressed into him. The blankness of his arms made the sorrow crop up inside of him again. His hoodie discarded to the floor.

It didn’t feel like there was a need for it anymore.

“You don’t normally take the hoodie off.”

Virgil’s head snapped to the side, looking into the eyes of his mother, who he hadn’t talked too since three days ago. He swallowed hard at the tired disheveled look she had. Her eyes bruised with circles and hair tousled.

“Yeah.” He said, turning his eyes back to the wood of the table as he waited for her to go for the liquor cabinet.

His mother took a seat.

She put her purse on the kitchen table, heaving out a sigh as she pulled her name tag off and ran a hand through her hair. “I- I know I’m.. I’m a- failure of a parent.” She stated and Virgil’s heart ached.

“No. You’re not. You do everything you can-,” Virgil began but his mother spoke over him

“I don’t- I don’t do enough.” She said, turning the name tag over in her hand as she spoke.

There was silence then. All consuming silence as they both sat in their own turmoils.

Emotional grievance pulling them both into the darkest places of their minds.

“How did you-” Virgil started suddenly, his voice cracking. “How did you deal with dad- with you know…”

His mother looked away from him. Her eyes vacant again, her expression mirroring the look she gave him in the bathroom that night. Virgil’s heart braced itself. The wounds so fresh that he didn’t think he could take another disappointment.

“I didn’t.”

She stood, tears running down her face. Giving Virgil the most apologetic look he’d ever seen on another human beings face. She pulled herself away from the kitchen table, the apartment echoing around them both as she pulled open the liquor cabinet.

Virgil stood, eyes spilling and a hand covering his mouth. He stepped over the hoodie. Leaving it there.

He burst through the door to his room with the edges of hysteria gripping at him. His hands going to clutch at his hair, yanking until it hurt. The pain making his eyes water.

He thought about his mother, about the years of isolation and pain. He thought about his dad leaving the both of them for his mental illness, and he thought about inevitability.

The pressing feelings that he would end up just like the both of them. His mother who would never see her soulmate again, and drank to forget that. His mind working against his own happiness no matter how every talks about soulmates being the ‘cure for all ills’.

He would be just as broken up, just as lost and desperate. Another ghosting figure in a world that doesn’t care about anyone with anything other than a happy ending. He was a damned soul.

A soulless.

He was truly a soulless now.

His breath came out in harsh puffs and he collapsed, sitting on his bed, keeling over and folding in on himself until his chest rested on his knees.

His eyes rose for just a second, just long enough for the time it took for his eyes to connect with the haphazard pile of the pages on his desk. The writing information Mrs. Higgs had given him. All of them collected in a single spot, discarded and crumpled.

There was stillness. The tears running down his face continued and he stood. His body slowly moving. He gripped the first page, moving it aside to pick up the Young-Authors Competition Rules. His hand shakily gripped a pen. His knuckles turning white with the force, and he pulled a loose leaf sheet onto the surface.

Then. He wrote.

Chapter 4

[ramennoodlesandnarusasu]

could you possibly do a request where naruto is really stressed about hid hokage duties and one night he just breaks down crying because everyone expects do much of him and sasuke cheers him up? A lot of fluff if possible! And thanks!

“Naruto?”

Naruto opened his tired eyes to see Sasuke staring at himlovingly.

“Sasuke?”

Naruto started waking up, stretching out his stiff musclesfrom falling asleep yet again on his table.

“Naruto get up or you will be late for work.”

Naruto jolted up in haste to Sasuke’s comment.

“What time is it?”

“7 am.”

Naruto immediately ran to the bathroom washed his face andteeth, quickly changing into his clothes at the same time and ran out the door.He didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Sasuke who was standing by the doorlooking at him run furiously back to the Hokage tower.

Naruto was surviving on such little hours of sleep lately,not like his normal hours were spectacular but at least he got more than 6hours of sleep. Naruto would be lucky if he got more than 2 hours per nightthis week.

Everything had been piling up, the chunin exams were aroundthe corner and so much crap had happened recently that his mind was literallyabout to implode from the amount of stress it was undertaking.

-

Naruto jumped through the window, he had no time to waste hewalked over to a pile of urgent papers stacked in the corner of his room andstarted speed writing. He felt like his hand was working triple the speed, untila moment occurred and the words on his paper started to blur due to thevelocity of Naruto’s eyes moving back, forward and across the paper to keep upwith his hands.

“Hey Naruto, did you not get any sleep again tonight?Because you look like shit again.”

Naruto looked up to Kakashi with a very sarcastic face thatsaid ‘no shit’.

“What do you think?”

“Most definitely no if you look like this pile of shit.”

Naruto irritatingly brushed off Kakashi’s comments andrefocused on the papers which laid before him.

“Naruto please don’t kill the messenger, but we have asituation.”

Naruto dug his nails into the wooden desk which had sufferedenough from Naruto’s stress this week, the wood looked bashed and tattered fromthe amount of times Naruto had clawed, punched and kicked it out offrustration.

Naruto was ready to receive another thing on top ofeverything that he already had.

“For fuck sake, what else could go wrong?”

“Shikamaru has reported strange activity in the forest westfrom here, it seems like a couple of rouge ninja have found their way to Konohabut we should be able to handle them on our own.”

Naruto rubbed his temples to find some form of release tohis throbbing migraine.

“Fuck okay, um… Go round up a team of elite shinobi and backup Shikamaru.”

“On it.”

Kakashi was gone in a quick blink leaving a trail of cloudsafter him.

Naruto looked at his papers which all had red marks sayingurgent on them and turned around to see the beautiful sunny day. He let out adeep sigh, wishing so desperately he could be out there again, doing missions, venturingthe road less traveled. But his Hokage duties were constant and at timesbrutal. The amount of time and dedication being Hokage demanded was somethinghe was never prepared for, or at least forewarned about.

The hours were heavy, his social life was slowly crumblingaround him, he saw people close to him slowly back away to give him space so hecould focus. But that meant losing valuable relationships in his life, losing timefor friends and fun and ultimately losing time to be with Sasuke. Naruto wasworried, extremely worried that Sasuke was going to say he didn’t want to bewith Naruto anymore because all he did was work, he had that terrifying thoughtin the back of his mind for a while now and it haunted him everyday.

Naruto needed to stop thinking about everything but work, heneeded to focus, he had a job, actually a responsibility to be the best Hokagethere ever was. And now that he was here he would have to show them that theychoose the right guy.

Naruto furiously started to write and read the urgentdocuments, signing and finalizing various papers which would heavily impact theupcoming year in Konoha. He only wished that the decisions he made today werethe correct ones and that his choices wouldn’t come back to bite him in thebutt later on.

-

“Naruto, have you finished the papers on the expansion?”

Naruto frantically started thinking about the 50 trillionpapers he had signed off today.

“Uh…. Fuck Kiba, I did. But it’s in this giant ass pile. Canyou possibly look for it because I have to keep going?”

“God Naruto how hard do they have you working that you can’tfind a paper?”

“You have no fucking idea Kiba.”

Naruto kept writing the next lot of papers, looking throughthe fine print for water access into the village and the new proposition forlowering water demands in the village. He tried to wrap his head around themassive figures and statistics on the paper but ultimately it made no sense tohim, as much as he re-read it nothing clicked in his brain.

“You look like your struggling there?”

“Fuck I need Shikamaru. Any chance you can find him and tellhim to come in?”

“What am I your errand boy now?”

“Oh, please Kiba I’lle make it up to you?”

“Fuck fine, only because I don’t want you to assign me shitjobs.”

“Wise decision, thanks Kiba.”

-

Kiba left the Hokage tower feeling annoyed Naruto had himrunning his errands but secretly deep down he knew Naruto could use all thehelp he could get, he looked like he was about to have a mental break down fromlack of sleep and raging amount of stress. If it wasn’t evident enough by theamount of papers piled in his room, his sagging eyes which screamed lack ofsleep were also big indicators.

Kiba walked down the streets, kicking the rocks on the roadout of his way.

He heard a very familiar voice talking around the corner, itsounded like Sasuke.

Kiba thought he had enough time to complain to the Hokage’sboyfriend about how annoying Naruto was for sending him on some annoying errandsso he decided to turn the corner and find were Sasuke was hiding.

-

“Do you think these are nice?”

“Oh, yer they are beautiful, just like you.”

“Hm… they sure are pretty.”

Kiba was shocked by what he was hearing. He sneakily lookedaround the corner, peering so he could only see a slither of Sasuke talking toa very attractive man at the flower shop.

Was he cheating on Naruto? What was he going to say? Hecouldn’t stay quiet, but Naruto would be heart broken.

“I’lle get these” Sasuke pointed at a bunch of yellowflowers.

“Great choice handsome.”

“Hm., yer if I do so say myself they are really pretty.”

Kiba turned away, hastily running away from the scene. Hewas panting and over analysing everything he just saw.

-

Naruto had been sitting down writing, reading and signingfor nearly 11 hours straight at this point, he didn’t even know what time itwas or even if it was a different day but he didn’t care he just had to keepworking. The elders expected his presentation to be ready for tomorrow, thedesign and curriculum of the new ninja academy was given to him and he wasgoing to do everything in his power to do his best.

Naruto heard a faint knock on his door and slightly got irritatedby it.

“Come in.”

Kiba walked in with slump shoulders.

“Hey Naruto.”

“Kiba, great did you speak to Shikamaru?”

“Yep, he said he can be over in 20 minutes he is justfinishing helping Kakashi.”

Naruto could sense something was wrong with Kiba he seemedoff, he didn’t have time to waste, but he also wasn’t a shit friend and didn’twant to brush Kiba off if something was bothering him.

Naruto needed to figure out how to be a decent human beingand be good at his job without compromising anything.

“Is something bothering you?”

“Uh, nothing don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, come on Kiba, tell me, I know something is up.”

Kiba hesitated but ultimately decided to spill his secrets.

“Naruto, I might be over analysing or saw something thatisn’t true, but I just thought you ought to know.”

Naruto’s mind was now fully fixated on Kiba, he anxiouslywaited the words which would come out of Kiba’s mouth, scared it might besomething he didndt want to hear, or something he couldn’t deal with right now.

“I saw Sasuke with another guy…”

Naruto’s heart stopped the room became quite the air suddenlydropped a thousand degrees. He couldn’t focus on anything his head felt foggedwith a thousand emotions.

“I don’t know what I saw but he seemed really close to himand the guy was obviously flirting with Sasuke, and he didn’t say anything hejust casually went along with his flirting, I really hope I’m wrong I justthought you should know.”

Naruto gulped down harshly, feeling his throat close inresponse. He felt as though he was struggling to breathe, like someone washolding his lungs shut.

“Oh, don’t worry Kiba it properly was his friend, thank youfor looking out for me though, if that Is all I have to continue.”

“Oh okay, I’lle leave you be.”

“Thank you Kiba, really that was very nice of you.”

Kiba sent a friendly wave to Naruto and left through hisfront door.

-

Naruto started to focus on the papers again, trying hishardest to focus on the words in front of him, but all he saw was Sasuke withanother guy, they looked close, flirting. He tried to highlight a sentence buthis hands were shaking furiously.

He tried to push through, but tears started to fall onto thepaper and his vision was no more than blurred clouds of salty tears.

Naruto flung the papers aside harshly, slamming his pen downat the same time. He stood up abruptly and went to the corner or his room.Looking out to the village through the large windows, he saw his reflection,his dark sagged eyes filled to the brim with hot tears. His weak physic and hispathetic self, looking back at him, just looking.

If he was better at this, better at being Hokage, better atnumbers and figures and just fucking better at his job maybe Sasuke wouldn’t betrying to find another guy right now? Maybe this was all his fault?

He was so fucking down, the tears kept rolling down hischeeks, falling one by one creating a small stream of pain, sadness, stress andultimately failure.

-

“Naruto, you called for me?”

Naruto quickly wiped away his tears and turned around toface Shikamaru

“Are you okay Naruto?”

Naruto nodded quickly and brought Shikamaru forward.

“Yer I’m just tired, can you look at this please and try toexplain what the fuck they are trying to say, the statistics on this paper justmakes zero  sense to me.”

Shikamaru looked at the paper with an inquisitive facescanning everything with fine detail like most geniuses did.

“Wow, this is quite detailed. Are you sure you want me to goover all of it, it’s quite detailed it might take me a while to go through allof it?”

“Yer go on, it’s not like I am in a rush to get home oranything.”

Shikauramaru looked at Naruto with a confused look.

“Sasuke won’t be waiting for you?”

“Nope his out with a mate.”

“Oh okay, well then, let’s start from the beginning.”

-

3 am

Naruto closed his door and walked out the Hokage tower, hewas in no rush to face Sasuke right now. He was too tired to fight and tooemotionally unstable to hear that he was leaving him. He thought if he slept onthe couch and left in an hour or two, Sasuke wouldnt even wake up and hearNaruto coming in or out.

-

Naruto quietly opened his house, trying his best not to wakeSasuke to avoid any fights that would properly be coming soon.

His house was lit with tiny candles everywhere, soft violinwas playing in the back ground and beautiful yellow flowers where in a vasewhich had sticky note on them. He went forward to read the note that had abeautiful message from Sasuke.

-These flowers are foryou, let them brighten your day just like you brighten mine, my beautifulsunshine.-

Naruto picked up the most beautiful sunflowers he had everseen in his life, they were bunched together with a soft yellow ribbion whichtied the 10 flowers together.

“Funny story about those flowers, the guy at the shop washell trying to flirt with me so I would buy more but I was pretty set on those,because they remind me of you.”

Naruto turned around to see Sasuke standing in the midst ofdimly lit candles. Suddenly his head ache, anger and tiredness had allvanished.

“Sasuke, what is all of this?”

“Well let’s just say I pulled a few strings and got you theday off tomorrow, so… if you would like to follow me?”

Naruto’s heart was pounding loudly within his chest and hisskin vibrated when it came into contact with Sasuke hand as if each cell on hishand wanted to be closer and closer, until two became one.

-

Naruto was being dragged by Sasuke to the  bathroom, as soon as he was in the bathroomhis eyes were met with a sight of pure bliss. The bathroom was lit withtwinkling fairy lights which were placed all around the place. The bath wasfull of bouncing bubbles which were accompanied by warm water and drizzled withrose petals scattered on top of this scenic view There were candles by thewindow and a towel freshely pressed on the towel holder.

“Okay, either I’lle rip your clothes off or you can. Thoughnot going to lie I would rather do it.”

Naruto chuckled lightly looking happily into Sasuke’s eyes.

“Sasuke, I can’t believe you…”

“Uh… no words just change.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke cheekily and walked closer to hispartener so their bodies were no longer separated.  He slowly kissed Sasukes neck, tickling himin the process.

“Naruto, you know I’m ticklish.”

Sasuke started to laugh but quickly pushed him away.

“Naruto get changed or I will attack you.”

“Hm I guess you will have to do it your self.”

Sasuke looked up with lustful eyes, his fingers lingered onNaruto’s cheeks furiously fighting back the temptation to not remove all ofNaruto’s clothes and take him into the bedroom.

“You are torturing me, but today is for you to relax and asmuch as sex sounds like heaven to me, its not going to relax you at all.”

“Shame.”

Naruto started to kiss Sasukes cheeks, moving down to bitehis lower lip. Sasuke started pulling up Naruto’s shirt to reveal an extremelyripped body. He slowly pulled down his pants and boxers so he was left bare.

“Fuck this is difficult, here take ya dam rope and get inthe bath.”

Naruto chuckled but did as he was told and as much astempting Sasuke was fun a bath actually sounded like heaven for his aching bodyand mind.

-

As soon as Naruto touched the water his skin leapt inhappiness. His muscles relaxed soothing into the warm sensation that was thebubble bath warm silky water.

His mind entered a state of absolute relaxation, he couldfelt the enormous pile of stress built in every corner of his body release. Heopened his eyes and Sasuke was staring lovingly at him, watching Naruto like hewas the most important person that mattered in his universe.

“So Naruto don’t laugh…but I may have learnt something foryou.”

Naruto curiously looked at Sasuke whilst playing with thebubbles which floated around his knees.

“Uh, what is it?”

“Give me two secs.”

Sasuke left quickly and went off to the bedroom, Narutoheard shuffing and banging. He was superbly curious about what the hell Sasukewas on about.

Sasuke walked in with a classical guitar looking enormouslyshy.

“Holy shit you learnt to play the guitar?”

“Shut up usuratonkachi.”

Sasuke walked over to the bath and sat on the edge, hecarefully placed his slender hands on the cords and looked up to            Naruto.

“Well, this is the most humiliating thing you will ever see,so… if you laugh at me I swear I will chidori your ass to the ground.”

Naruto chuckled a little then smiled cheekily.

“Go on Sasuke I wont laugh, or at least I’lle try.”

Sasuke raised his eyebrow in slight annoyance but decided notto already destory Naruto with his guitar.

“Okay here goes nothing.”

Sasuke started playing a beautiful tune that melted into thesteamy air, each cord played sounded like heaven had touched Narutos ears. Thesoft tune played softly caressing every fiber in Naruto’s body. The rose petalsfloating on top of the waters surface seemed to dance in tune with guitar.

Naruto was in total ecstasy, his body and mind were being transportedto the hills of spain. As he laid there in his hammock brushed by the silkyfabric of water he lost all recollection that he was actually at home and inthe bath tub.

-

Sasuke tapped Naruto gently, brushing away damp hair whichdangled closely around his eyes.

“Babe you feel asleep.”

Naruto looked around, sad that his dream of spain and sweetclassical guitar had ended.

He was astonished by how quickly he had been cradled tosleep by the soft tunes of Sasuke’s playing, what shocked him more is howSasuke had learnt to play so beautifully without him noticing, was he that busyat work that he hadn’t noticed it?

“Sasuke, how did you learn to play so beautifully, youliterally serenaded me to sleep?”

Sasuke brought over a towel for Naruto and helped him out ofthe tub.

“Well to be honest I only started last month, you have beenso busy and stressed lately that I thought I would try do something nice foryou.”

Naruto looked at this man, actually at this angel, evenbetter yet at this god amongst men. Not only was he able to pick up an instrumentand play it like an expert in one month, he was also the most caring andbeautiful person on this planet.

“Hm, did you know I love you Sasuke?”

Sasuke had a small smirk on his face, his cheeks turned asoft pink, “I may be aware.”

Naruto was so blissfully happy in this moment with hispartner, he didn’t want to waste a minute longer not fully appreciating everymuscle, fiber and cell of Sasuke.

Naruto took Sasuke’s hand and dragged him to the bedroom. Hethrough Sasuke onto the bed with enough force to not actually hurt the man.

“Wooh, Naruto your tired, its okay go to bed we can continuethis tomorrow.”

Naruto cheekily smirked, he looked at his phone which was onthe cabinet next to him, the time shined in the dark room, iluminating 4.30am.

“It is tomorrow.”

Naruto let go off his towel and dimmed the light down,enough to still see the curves and dips of Sasukes body.

-