#the contrasts of alhaitham I CAN'T 😭

[harmonysanreads]

oh.

[wobster109]

Thoughts on Parade of Providence day 3—

Kaveh

"I've heard enough. The last thing I need is more suffering."

What a moment! For Kaveh, who could never look away from anyone's suffering, who made every person's (and some creatures') suffering his own, to refuse it! This was a crucial character moment for him—all the rest of it (helping the foxes, insisting on drawing lots, donating the estate)—the rest of it was all Kaveh. Smashing the diadem, on the other hand. . . he's found his limit, perhaps for the first time. . . and he found it in himself to hold it. 🥺😭🥰

I love that he was as respectful of Sachin as he could be, despite everything. He wouldn't just take his estate for himself and ignore Sachin's wishes. And, in the end, what got Sachin (and his own father) was caring for people. I love that he used Sachin's own money to help people. . . doing what research could not, in a way. It may not have been the perfect solution Sachin was searching for, but it was something, no?

Alhaitham's Quote

"Lofty ideals may provide no defense at all against nihilism, but perhaps little decisions can. By their own choice, the idealist seeks to bring happiness to all, while denying themselves the same. Thus they shall never reach even the borders of truth until they wipe away the ignorance that blinds them."

This quote confused me a bunch. The first part seems to be approving of Kaveh, in a roundabout way: little decisions like helping the foxes, or buying a keychain, or drawing lots just because it's fair. Yet the second part seems like a critique: is he saying Kaveh shall never find truth unless he wipes away his ignorance?

On a second reading, I believe this quote is contrasting Kaveh and Sachin. Sachin is the idealist, who tried to bring happiness to all, and lost himself to despair. On the other hand, if each of us does a bit to be kind, and to help each other. . . we may stave off our slide from bad to worse.

A Tale of Two Fathers

"Whatever it is that he's researching out there, he'll always be garbage in my eyes."

I winced every time Sachin called Kaveh "my child". You HAD a child. You left him.

Kaveh's father had a child, and Kaveh's father left him.

Idealists (derogatory)! Your journey to save people began by leaving someone behind. And yet I can't be mad: Kaveh's father did make a difference. Sachin's research. . . though it cause a lot of grief, it made a difference in the end. It sent the desert people Kaveh's father, which changed who Kaveh grew to become, until he came to command and donate Sachin's estate. They ended up making a difference in the end, so I can't be mad.

And neither can Kaveh. That's the difference between him and Jiwani, who grew bitter and angry. Kaveh has grief, but never bitterness towards others.

Rishti

"To live a better life, my son became a mercenary. He was killed in a scuffle a few years ago, and his belongings were taken. Many years have passed in the blink of an eye. I wonder how his child turned out, and if they hold a grudge against him? Not many people know these things anymore. I'm getting old. Perhaps, I'll forget these things soon, too."

Good god. Archons above.

This is one of those conversations that just sneaks up on you. You're chatting with Rishti, about this bizarre and fantastical situation of a man Coming Back Wrong after coming into contact with a scrap of a dead guy's consciousness trapped in a horcrux diadem, and then. . . suddenly Rishti hits you with something so damn real.

She says it so quietly. Matter-of-factly. It's just a fact of her life, just the fabric of the universe. Nothing to rage against or bemoan. It takes a few seconds for what she has said to sink in.

I interpret this as the game giving us a glimpse into Sachin's research and the memories in his diadem. Such a quiet, profound grief, all the more heartbreaking because of how mundane it seems.

The second part of the grief is the forgetting. Rishti is an old woman, stooped and forgetful. After she is gone, who will remember her mercenary son? Will there be any trace of him left upon the world? The Aranara always say that the forest will remember, to the extent that their very power comes from stories. And in another nation, Zhongli says that the Traveler will bear witness to Teyvat's history. And in a third nation, an adventurer takes on a friend's name, and an archon takes on a friend's shape.

I know about him now, Rishti. I'll remember your son!

(I would love if finding Kaveh's father's note became a commission, either daily or weekly, someday!)

Alhaitham

Nearly had a heart attack when I wandered into Aaru village, and there he was, just casually reading the research that drove Sachin and Kaveh's father to madness. That's risky! And reckless! He has a lot of confidence in himself to be different from Sachin. And perhaps he's right to be confident, but. . . it's a pointless risk. Alhaitham isn't even interested in the research! Kaveh's lost too many people already 😭

In many ways he is Kaveh's opposite, but in this. . . he has a bit of Kaveh's recklessness.

Alhaitham! Every line of his is so loaded with meaning! I was reading each of his lines several times, to try to extract the meaning of it. "Empathy is a double-edged sword," and "All important things in life involve other people. As such, it's extremely difficult to live a life that causes no harm whatsoever to others," and "the world is not built on "correctness" alone. Sometimes, being correct means nothing at all" 😭 Can't help but feel that he's trying to say something very, very essential. I could listen to him talk for hours.

That Conversation and the Fate of Humanity

Of course Alhaitham can't possibly give a straight answer to any of Kaveh's questions, ever, and certainly not "Why were you investigating Sachin when his research doesn't interest you?" Can't just simply say "to find out about your father" like a reasonable person, noooo! Instead we have to get sidetracked and have a debate about the value of Sachin's legacy, and then later he casually throws in "Sachin. . . is very likely to have met your father" like it's unrelated.

FUCK OFF, ALHAITHAM! JUST COME CLEAN AND TELL KAVEH YOU DID IT FOR HIM!

Kaveh is exactly the same. He has to get sidetracked and have another debate about. . . I'm not entirely sure what this one is about. The fate of humanity? Alhaitham says "Someone else will inevitably pick up the same line of research one day," and I believe this means that eventually someone will choose wrong, and will instead publish the research where it will drive swaths of people into depression. After all, the topic is sure to come back again and again.

It reminds me of the Narukami Island and Vanarana quests, actually. Sachin's research is a bit like the filth that accumulates over 60 years, or the Marana (the awareness of death?) that accumulates over 500: nothing can be solved for forever. Eventually, the battle begins anew, and all we can do is hope, and take up arms when the time calls. Sometimes that means fighting the Withering. Other times? Extending your hand to a classmate or a lost fox, even if it's tiny in the grand scheme. Even if it's futile. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

And if there comes a day when Sachin's prophecy comes true: the battle is lost, "things go from bad to worse". . . The forest will remember. We were here. Our stories were real.

"Thanks for letting me know all this." In typical Kaveh form, he says it from a safe distance after the fact, and doesn't even mention what "this" is. Thank you for letting me know that Sachin is to blame for what happened to my father, and it wasn't what I said. You're welcome, Kaveh! (In this way they are so much alike 🥰)

I think that Alhaitham's little personal quest to find answers for Kaveh. . . it's one of the little decisions that fights against nihilism.

Kaveh (Reprise)

A few loose closing thoughts:

I knew he wasn't athletic on day 1 when he nearly went into cardiac arrest climbing a tree 🥺 He's very *pant pant wheeze* it's very endearing.

How is everyone just standing around while Sachin's Horcrux tries to take over his mind? Come on, Alhaitham! Go to him!

Kaveh talks about Alhaitham a lot. Everyone at the table comments on it, it's very sweet! Rent-free in our hearts, indeed.

In closing, I found this to be so charming:

Hah, a Haravatat taking something that didn't belong to him! Immediately, I thought of Kaveh's house keys. Was delighted to find that was the actual answer!