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please-help-this-little-lesbian · 4 years ago

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Prom movie review down below!

*The whole pta really said “no ❤️” huh

* Kerry is good so far

* What Broadway is this? That ain’t the Broadway I remember

* Less than five minutes in and Corden’s performance is already awful (just my opinion!) was the effeminate accent really necessary? Like I feel like he was trying to emulate Brooks, but it comes off as really insensitive to me.

* Okay Meryl is...really good!

* I like that they incorporated the in-show musical!

* Choreo is insane as it should be

* I like the sardi’s cameo!

* Everybody just...walked out? Seems fake but okay

* Okay now Barry’s accent is gone? James either commit a hate crime or don’t

* ANDREWWW

* Andrew is the perfect Trent, albeit a little young in my opinion

* THE TALK TO THE HAND SEQUENCE

* Angie arrives as she should...dramatically

* Does Sardi’s actually have that nice of a bar?

* Does Barry recommend being activists on Bway? I don’t remember.

* Okay spelling out Emma’s name is a nice touch

* Thank god they cut the d*ke line

* There is UNECCESSARY censoring. I know it’s pg-13 but WHY did they cut “inbred?” It’s not a curse word?

* You can’t even tell that the bear is hanging. Who approved this scene?

* I’ve always said to give Kaylee and Shelby cheer uniforms so I approve of this costuming

* Also Kaylee looks like my middle school bullies so 10/10 casting

* Miss Jo Ellen...I love you but why are you so smiley? I know you have a different interpretation of Emma and that is okay, but it doesn’t work for this scene. Like I feel like it is ironic, but it just doesn’t sit right with me.

* Personal opinion, but why is Edgewater and James Madison so nice?? This school belongs in LA, not in a recession slump small town

* Nick and Kevin 10/10. Definitely go to my school and bully me

* The volleyball scene is a cinematic masterpiece

* Yeah optimist! Emma just doesn’t do it go me

* Alyssa wants to die and I feel it

* Again, why did they cut random lines? It’s “liberal Democrats from Broadway,” not just liberals?

* How did Dee Dee hack the lights?

* Meryl is KILLING it

* Lol Keegan’s “no” after the eva peron line

* Mrs. Greene is a Karen confirmed

* “If there’s no gays here then why is my scruff going crazy?” Was that in bway, cause it should have

* Again, where did they get the money for this fancy football field?

* This is the only song where this smiling is appropriate

* Okay Dance with You is 10/10

* That almost kiss 😭

* Oh my god even the motel is too nice

* Angie is done with Dee Dee’s shit and I love it

* Did they cut the lin Manuel Miranda line?

* Andrew I take it back you’re perfect as Trent

* #JUSTICEFORTHEACCEPTANCESONG

* Emma I know you’re a lesbian but why did you dress like a janitor?

* YES THEY KEPT THE PICKUP TRUCK LINE

* Emma is always smiling though??

* And she was fourteen when she was kicked out

* Emma and Alyssa deserved their full You Happened segment

* Dee Dee and Hawkins rights

* YES KEEGAN

* Emma’s grandma!

* And they cut the eating disorder line!

* Again it’s. Too. Nice!

* Okay I love this TBTY

* Okay James’s performance got better but the accent still needs to go

* Of course Edgewater is Suburbia central.

* Why the dance break???

* Dua Lipa is ruined now

* Reprise makes me cry of course

* How is the outside of James Madison so bland but the inside is so nice??

* No “how f*cking old do you think I am???😭

* Zazz should be focused on her legs more

* But overall 9/10 number

* There’s too much actors and not enough lesbians

* This whole scene with Dee Dee and Barry is totally unnecessary I’m sorry but it is. We could have gotten full You Happened but nooo.

* So Alyssa Greene is before Love Thy Neighbor now?

* I don’t hate it actually

* Why is it sped up though?

* Why is it snowing in the spring?

* Trent Oliver rights

* Why does Shelby have a different boyfriend??

* Love thy Neighbor is 1000/10

* We were owed an f-bomb in “you owe me a house!”

* BIGTP takes place in a motel room, not diner

* I like incorporating young Barry though

* Ok Unruly Heart is perfect

* All the kids watching it 😭

* I’m sorry but I don’t think Barry’s backstory needed to have attention on it

* Like we could have had this with Emma’s parents

* The apology from Kaylee and Shelby 😭

* Alyssa’s confrontation 😭

* Emma’s suit is cool!

* Over all 4/5 stars

#the prom musical #the prom #the prom movie #broadway #movie musicals

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yuuimagines · 5 years ago

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Stray Kids in Hogwarts

Kim Woojin

House: Hufflepuff

Blood: Muggle Born

Year: Sixth year

Quidditch: Keeper

Extra information:

* Everybody in his family was so surprised

* How‘s it possible that only their youngest child is a wizard?

* But he was still very excited!

* Since he‘s the youngest in his family it confused him even more when he found out that he‘s the oldest one of the first graders—

* The first few years he was enjoying life and doing everything he wanted

* But after the fourth year he was like the mom of the dorm

* ”OMG NO DON‘T GO THERE ARE YOU CRAZY“

* Very wise to the younger ones

* ”Never, I say NEVER piss Snape of. He‘ll remember your face for the next decades and mistreat your children if he needs to I swear“

* Is friends with Chan

Bang Chan

House: Gryffindor

Blood: Pure Blood

Year: Seventh year

Quidditch: Team Captain/ Beater

Extra information:

* This boy was very sad :(

* Even though he was surrounded by great wizards and witches he felt so lonely and just not in the right place

* He often asked himself if he‘s on the right path and got lost at some point

* But then Changbin got his letter, in the end even Jisung did

* So little Chris was happy since he finally had some real friends and people to depend on

* In the Quidditch team since day one

* After Jackson, the previous team captain, graduated everybody voted for him to be the next

* I feel like he wouldn‘t be the type of Beater to constantly attack the enemies

* He would be the type to protect his own team mates rather than attacking

* Funfact: The sorting hat originally wanted him to be in Hufflepuff

* I think Chris would enjoy Dark Arts a lot just because it‘s Dark Arts whoooooo

Lee Minho

House: Slytherin

Blood: Pure Blood

Year: Fifth year

Quidditch: Chaser

Extra information:

* Minho lives in constant fear as the Chaser tbh

* Would be mean to everybody at first because he felt like he needed to fulfill the stereotype of a Slytherin? After some time he was like well huh that was stupid

* Has a lot of experience because his family always teaches him little spells

* He HATES Defence against the Dark Arts SO MUCH

* ”When I do Dark Arts by myself I don’t need to defend myself cuz my spells are so lit?“

* Goofs around and pretends to be bad sometimes but he‘s actually one of the best wizards in Slytherin

* He is whipped for your cat, so if you‘re a Slytherin and own a cat expect finding this boy in the middle of the night with every single cat doing some kind of ritual—

Seo Changbin

House: Gryffindor

Blood: Pure Blood

Year: Fourth year

Quidditch: Chaser

Extra information:

* So Changbin was always interested in the Muggle‘s lifes

* He would go up to Woojin or somebody with at least a little bit of knowledge and ask them a million questions

* ”Why do you guys need electricity? Couldn‘t you just use—“

* ”NO THEY CAN‘T CHANGBIN, THEY DON‘T HAVE WANDS TO HEAT THEIR FOOD“

* ”And cars?? I swear that‘s the most useless thing when they would just use teleportation methods like—“

* ”SEO CHANGBIN“

* He looks intimidating but he‘s a soft boi and would like to be friends with you uwu

* Changbin being a chaser would Seungmin drive crazy I swear

* ”Slytherin has the Quaff— Wait no, Gryffindor‘s Chaser Changbin just— Oh wow Slytherin‘s Minho had a great technique to— CHANGBIN HAS THE QUAFFLE AGAIN, JUST FINALLY SCORE THE POINTS JESUS CHRIST“

Hwang Hyunjin

House: Slytherin

Blood: Muggle born

Year: Third year

Quidditch: Seeker

Extra information:

* So I wanted to make Jinie‘s story a bit more attached to reality

* You may think: A Muggle born in Slytherin? Well that‘s ironic— AND I KNOW JUST PLEASE LISTEN TO ME

* So on the Hogwarts Express he told some people his parents are Muggles and basically what happened was a lot of harassment from just a few people

* Stuff like ”What is he doing here?“ ”Somebody like him won‘t be a great wizard“ or ”I bet he‘s no clue about ANYTHING. How cute to think that he‘ll make it“

* Hyunjin‘s blood was boiling. He wanted to prove them wrong, he wanted to show the best side of him that he could

* So the sorting hat was like ”Slytherin will make you stronger“ and ”You will make them regret everything they said behind your back“

* And Quidditch was the way to go

* So he learned a lot of things from books and eventually made it into the team as the Seeker

* After winning a match he got the ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS

* Everybody‘s crush

* Hated Jisung at first because he was also a Seeker and Gryffindor won that day

* ”Maybe you should just finally catch the Golden Snitch, maybe you would win then lol“

* ”Well maybe you should study more, maybe you wouldn‘t fail all your exams then“

Han Jisung

House: Gryffindor

Blood: Half Blood (Mother Witch, Father Muggle)

Year: Third year

Quidditch: Seeker

Extra information:

* Imagine Fred and George Weasley being one person

* That‘s this boy

* Probably owns the map of mischief and he uses it ALL THE TIME

* When he isn‘t Gryffindor‘s fantastic Seeker he comments the Quidditch games

* AND HE IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS

* Like;; he would be so biased? And always making jokes, cursing and then censoring himself after Seungmin hits the back of his head—

* This would honestly be a big commercial for Gryffindor

* Because he very proud

* THIS BOY IS AFRAID OF SNAPE AND DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS OMG

* He would rather die than going to this lessons oh boi

* He was already friends with Changbin and Chan when he wasn‘t attending Hogwarts

* When the sorting hat screamed GRYFFINDORRRRR Chan and Changbin were screaming and applauding like crazy

* Since they also play Quidditch and everybody knew this trio they got the name 3RACHA

* Most chaotic Seeker in history I swear

Lee Felix

House: Hufflepuff

Blood: Half Blood (Mother witch, father Muggle)

Year: Third year

Quidditch: Seeker

Extra information:

* This boy might be the most serious one (as many legends say) BUT he is still in Hufflepuff because my heart tells me yes in tiny font

* With Lee Felix as Hufflepuff‘s Seeker they actually have a chance because this boy‘s GOOD

* Felix also has a big heart for magical creatures

* Everybody wanted to have him in his own house since he helped everyone on the way to Hogwarts with their pets, luggage etc.

* His parents supported him so much and thought of everything while packing and buying his books

* Hates the house‘s stereotypes so much and wants to break them as good as possible

Kim Seungmin

House: Ravenclaw

Blood: Pure Blood

Year: Third year

Quidditch: /

Extra information:

* We all knew he was a Ravenclaw the second we saw him, ok!?

* He is already used to the whole magical world from his family

* So he wasn‘t really surprised when the letter from Hogwarts arrived

* Teaches Jeongin a lot of things about magic

* Let‘s be real, guys: HE WOULD THINK THAT MRS. TRELAWNEY‘S LESSONS ARE PURE BULLSHI—

* Like;; he would go to several people (maybe Jisung the most skskskks) and tell them that it‘s the Most useless form of magic

* He doesn‘t play Quidditch

* Cuz this boy‘s smart and doesn‘t let himself beat up

* But he goes to the matches anyways to watch over his friends

* Aka he needs to be there because he comments the gameplay

* (The only one who takes commenting the game serious and doesn‘t get scolded)

* Buys a lot of stuff to prank the guys with in Hogsmeade

Yang Jeongin

House: Ravenclaw

Blood: Half Blood (Mother Muggle, Father Wizard)

Year: First year

Quidditch: Beater

Extra information:

* OK SO LISTEN

* Since he lived in the Muggle World and his father never told him enough about magical stuff he never knew much about being a wizard

* So when he first came to Hogwarts his HE WAS EXCITED

* That‘s why everybody thought he was so CUTE

* Became everybody’s baby in seconds

* This boy is a proud Ravenclaw

* The moment Jeongin was first on a broom every knew: This boy will play Quidditch like a god and laugh every time the Bludgers hit the enemies

* He met Seungmin on the Ravenclaw table after the sorting hat did his job

* He counts the days until he can go to Hogsmeade

* Calls the older students dump when they make mistakes as a joke

——————————————————————————

A/N: OMG DID YOU GUYS SEE SEUNGMIN, JEONGIN AND JISUNG IN THEIR HOGWARTS CAPES? I ALWAYS KNEW JISUNG WAS A GRYFFINDOR HAAAAA

Also, English isn‘t my first language. I had to look up a lot of things because I read the books in German. So I‘m really sorry if something isn‘t right? Just tell me skshskwv

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ultraclops · 4 years ago

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Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

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violetbeachpod · 6 years ago

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1x02 / incorporeal girlfriend

CHARLOTTE:

Hello Violet Beach! Charlotte Cranor-Liu here to keep informing the general public–or, the not-general not-public–about how terrible everything is!

So! Let’s talk.

I’m Char, I’m sixteen, junior at the Corielli Academy For Creative Youths, and your new best friend. Unless, like, we’ve already met, in which case, you already know what I think of you.

So. Where to start? Cuz I got stories. Uh. At fight call today, I hit Andrew Meyer for real, which was pretty satisfying. Cuz he’s the worst? AJ high-fived me afterward, and actually told me where he worked? Which was super satisfying, cuz I got kicked out of the Starbucks for fighting in the alley by it? In fairness, the guy stole tips, it was–it was morally an obligation. But the assistant manager was like, “oh, but now he’ll sue us, and why did you claim to be an employee,” which, like, has she never heard of getting into character to add more feeling to a situation? He would be more likely to give it back if he thought he was stealing my money? Just—whatever. I needed a new coffee-source and now I have one.

But, anyway, AJ took me to the Bean Zone today, which, cool, I didn’t know they were even open. Neither did anyone else, though, I don’t think because it was empty. Which might also be because their coffee is kind of the worst? Still.

I kept AJ busy, though. He used his employee discount, so, I only paid, like, ten bucks total for my thirteen drinks. So. After I was properly caffeinated and his two-hour shift ended, which, I didn’t even know they did those, we started biking to his place, and he–he fell. And I got nervous, and I grabbed his arm to help him up once I was sure he was okay, and when I made contact, the–

Well, Teresa talked about this last time, but the sky went that gross purple color. And I assumed tehat–I assumed that the glow was because of us touching, so I let go, and then–I couldn’t.

And then the breeze that’s always there happened again. And we were back on the road, on our bikes, and we were pedalling. Like nothing happened.

And he said, like, uh, “Nice grip,” or something, and I nodded, because my grip’s pretty nice, and we were just, in, like, a really weirdass situation, so.

Anywho. So we went back to my place and my sister was all like, oh, wow, who’s this, your–censored rude term that disrespects AJ, who is, like, maybe my only friend–and so I yelled at her?

I mean. He’s not my only friend. I–he is.

Why can’t I say that I have other friends? Like–I’m trying to lie, right now.

Um. Okay. Cool. So.

We’ll get to that later.

But, anyway, I did scream at her, yes. Cuz she was an ass. As per ush.

So. Anyway. AJ and I went up to my room and started watching a bootleg of—y’know? If this, like, truth serum thing going on’s a thing, I’m not gonna try to name the show. Cuz it’s embarrassing. I wanted to—no. Okay.

Can’t lie! That’s—

Ugh! That’s so stupid!

Um. What else? I think I saw a ghost during photography today, but that’s just how the woods are sometimes. AJ and I broke into some asshole’s beach house back there for this week’s project, because last year the guy who owns it was a creep to me. But I think that maybe his house is haunted? Cuz there was this, like, weird mist in the living room right by the TV.

But again, that’s just how the woods are. I think. That’s not really my zone. But, of all places in this town to already be haunted? That’s, like, top thirteen spots, natch.

Also: Gregory And Janet Wilson Who Live In The Beach House Development In The Woods From May To September Every Year But Who Live In Virginia Otherwise left three spare keys under the lion statuette in their uglyass overgrown garden. So, there. Make of that what you will.

But. It’s a supernatural occurrence, or whatever you wanna call it, so I should put it on here. The ghost sighting. Not his key location. That’s–that’s just a thing that I know. Obvi.

The mist was, like–it was kind of all-consuming? Like, in that way that people are always all-consumed by beauty, but not really, because I was also having heart palpitations. Or something. Not really sure what heart palpitations are, but, uh. I was overwhelmed by the beauty but also? Very, very afraid of it. I felt like I was frozen in place, like I was being swallowed by it–

And then AJ said, “Are you okay?” and I snapped out of it. I asked him if he saw it, and he nodded, was like, “uh yeah, but, like, we could agree before entering that the woods are super haunted,” and I agreed, but, like, he didn’t seem to get the vibes that I did. Swear to god, I heard horror movie music behind me.

Uh. The Corielli board is meeting tonight, and I’m supposed to talk about the theater program, just–I don’t like talking in front of the PTA, because I don’t know any of their kids, like, logically, I should know their kids. There are maybe 200 people in the high school, and I know most of them. I know all of their faces.

But the Corielli board’s faces don’t look like anybody. Like, literally. I’ve talked at Corielli board meetings, like, seven times, and I cannot tell you what a single parent looks like.

Which might be supernatural happenings also? Nice.

[faux-excited]

Mystery! Intrigue! Cool!

[a pause, a sigh]

At least this truth-curse-or-whatever-the-hell-it-is has room for jokes. That’s, like, legitimately cool.

Um. So, I have to talk to the board tonight, and I think that’ll be—that—shit. Shit, it’s in ten minutes.

I’ll record more later.

[static, and a click. CHARLOTTE is out of breath.]

Okay, I’m back. I’m—holy shit.

So, I think the truth curse is off, but—like, obvi, I’m not gonna—I can promise that I’m not exaggerating.

So, the board. The board.

So, I think I said that they might be paranormal activity? They super are. I’m usually late, when I go to meetings? But I was on-time, and, uh, I was supposed to stay in the auditorium, but I went backstage to check on the set, but. Whatever. I was backstage. And so were they.

The board, I mean.

And they were—they were silent, in a circle, staring at each other. All of them. No one said anything, for a minute—like, I started timing a few seconds in, and it was at least seventy-seven seconds.

And one of them looked up, and just—feedback and sirens came pouring out of his mouth, like during an emergency when you’re watching TV or—

And he looked at me, blinked, and said, “Miss Cranor-Liu, you made it!” and he pushed through the circle, and nobody moved, just—and he grabbed my shoulders, and I wanted to—I wanted to hit him, to—

He just said, “The meeting’s cancelled, dear, didn’t you hear?”

I tried to take in his face, just cuz, and—nothing stood out to me.

And I tried to pull away, to hit him, to—to, like, kick him in his balls, or whatever, and my body just—it froze. And then there was that stupid purple again, and—

And I was outside. And I checked my email, and I didn’t get a cancellation notice, so—uh.

Something’s happening at Corielli. And, uh, I think—four or five of us went to Corielli, like, Teresa and Elaine def didn’t, and Benji, like—I’ve seen him on campus before, like, when I was in middle school, but also, I’m pretty sure he’s omnipresent, so. Who knows, with him. But the majority of us involved went to Corielli, so—like. That’s relevant, I think? Put it on your conspiracy board, next to the seven photos of Avril Lavigne and her dopplegangers. Use green yarn, for, like—for my sake. S’a good color for conspiracy theory boards that you never see anywhere.

I watch a lot of conspiracy theory videos, just to—to laugh at that. Also, they’re so consistent to me? So they’re very relaxing. Good to fall asleep to. Like, some folks need white noise or ASMR or whatever, but a good ol’ Andy Kaufman death hoax ten hour loop, y’know? Or, like, a Sondheim is multiple people one. It exists. You have to look hard for it, but, like, it almost convinced me that there are eighteen of him, so it’s worth it. I watched a seven-part documentary on the moon-landing thing when I was a kid, and that thing just, like—it got me so interested. I’m not crazy or anything. But this is ringing major documentary alarm bells. Maybe I can hit up some clickbait site and they can send folks over here to wrap a nice bow on this whole weird situation.

[beat]

Nobody’s gonna listen to this, like—and AJ’s the only person who’ll care, so, like, might as well talk on here.

Mae Babson the new transfer student is hot as hell. Like—I try not to have crushes, because they’re dumb, and they keep my eyes off the prize, which is to say, y’know. College. My art.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that feelings are pointless and that we’d be way better off without them, y’know? Especially when those feelings are for really dreamy girls who manage to look, like, at least 70 percent like she’s into girls, even though this is Corielli, so, like, she could be the straightest girl on earth, and also she’s weirdly nice, like—nicer than most people. And it’s kind of annoying how nice she is, like, she—she’s nice to everybody. Even to people who don’t deserve it.

But. Anyways. She’s super hot and I’m kinda sorta in love with her. Whatever. Rant over. I’ll edit that out.

So. Ghosts and mystery and intrigue. Woo.

Y’know, maybe Mae’s caught up in this mystery, actually, cuz—well, she only showed up after all that happened. Maybe she’s, like—maybe she’s a ghost. That’s the nightmare, honestly, being in love with a ghost. Like, second only to her being straight? Worst case scenario.

I could write a solid one act about being in love with a ghost and, like, protag comes to accept that she’s dead and is willing to make this work, but ghost girl’s like, “Oh, too bad, don’t like girls. Sorry, honey!” And that’s the plot twist. Sad ending. A tragicomedy for everyone.

But. Incorporeal Girlfriend and playwriting dreams aside, it is weird that she showed up, cuz—we never get new juniors, especially not midyear? So. It’s not entirely out there that she’s involved. Put her pic up next to the X-Files poster, connect ‘em with red yarn. For love symbolism.

Also, she’s like, otherworldly-ly attractive, so. That contributes to Benji’s alien theory. Also, Benji? I don’t care about your alien theory. Or that you wrote your thesis on aliens. Or that you—

Ugh. Just. The email thread is very long and you aren’t Agent David Duchovny On The X-Files I Don’t Know The Character Name But Oh Boy Do I Know Who David Duchovny Is. Also, use the goddamn group chat? Some of us don’t ever check our emails. And I know you’re gonna call me blasphemous or something for not knowing the X-Files guy’s name, which, yeah, I did that on purpose.

So, um, I was helping out the lighting designer—Ollie, the other day, because if the show looks like shit it’s my fault somehow, and they kept asking me about purple lights. I forgot about this, like—

Wait.

God, I can’t stop thinking about the board, actually. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I’m—I’m pretty self-aware, I would have said something. I’m me, for God’s sake, I would’ve said something half-charming and half-assholey, and then I would’ve been kicked out, and I would’ve, uh, maybe tried to pick a physical fight, and then—yeah. You know the deal. I told the Starbucks story earlier. I think—I think they somehow stopped me from saying anything, like—just like that force wouldn’t let me lie or let go of AJ’s hand or fight back—there’s always an inability to do something.

I swear, if this interferes with the show, I’ll fight God. Or whatever force is out there, like—I will press legal charges against fate or destiny or the passage of time or aliens or whatever the fuck. And also punch it.

The lighting designer stuff—that’s just me being paranoid, but the—the board, that’s real, and I’m scared as hell. I’m gonna—I’m gonna maybe do some recon, re: that, get those costume slash makeup design elective credits I’ve been trying for. I haven’t taken the class, because it’s seniors only and also because Ms. Dunkers hates me because her nephew accused me of selling him fake Rent tickets, which, I didn’t know they were fake, so, he can’t blame me, so she won’t let me in her classes anymore. She has explicitly told admin that “Miss Cranor-Liu is not to enroll in any of my electives no matter how much she complains to you.” So I asked admin, like, can I just do a bunch of independent studies, and I think they’re afraid of me? So they said yes.

Anyway.

I’m gonna sneak in on next week’s board meeting as an interested potential transfer student. Need an alias, and you know that it will be Faith Deathstrike. Which is an unfortunate last name, but a badass codename.

So. Uh. I’m signing off. Come to the show, week of February twentieth at the Corelli auditorium, and watch me get possessed by an actual ghost during my solo, or whatever. And if I get ritually sacrificed at the board meeting, now you know what led up to my disappearance! This is basically Serial, now, but in real time, right?

Anyway. Cool. Thanks. Bye.

#season one #script #charlotte

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miraculouspaon · 8 years ago

Text

Where Have All The Heroes Gone And Where Are All The Gods?

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Danielle

AO3

“Wow, this place has a serious echo,” Monique said appreciatively as she stepped inside the Agreste mansion. “How big is it? Do I get a tour?”

“The project’s due in nineteen hours,” Dani replied, shutting the giant door behind them. “I bet a tour of this place takes at least twenty. We should probably just head upstairs and get to work.”

It had taken some convincing on Dani’s part, getting her grandparents to agree to let Dani have a friend over. Dani could hardly blame them, considering everything that went on under their roof. But Dani and Monique, both chronic procrastinators, had partnered up for a chemistry presentation due tomorrow, and so far they’d used exactly none of the two weeks they’d been given to work on it. Monique’s house was out due to extremely noisy renovations, so Dani had impulsively suggested working on it at the mansion. After minimal whining, and repeated assurances that Monique would be nowhere near anything dangerous, and would be gone well before curfew, Adele and Gabriel had finally, begrudgingly, allowed it. So now Dani was leading Monique through the foyer, upstairs, and to the library.

“So the wall to the left is one giant bookshelf,” Dani told Monique as they entered, “there's a table and some chairs in the middle we’ll be working at once we kick Louis out, a few couches to the far right, and a couple of small writing desks against the back wall.”

“Got it.” Monique extended her cane and began to sweep it back and forth as she walked around the perimeter of the room, learning its layout.

“Why can't I work in here, too?” Louis asked, annoyed.

“Because we actually need to work,” Dani said, crossing to the table and dropping her backpack on its surface, “and if it's the three of us we won't get more than five minutes done.”

“I won't say anything, I'll just-” Louis abruptly stopped talking. Dani followed his line of sight and just managed to keep from gasping. On the other side of the room, Monique had paused in front of a painting and was now doing her best to examine it intently.

Specifically, she was examining the painting that hid the safe containing the dormant Miraculouses.

“Who’s this?” Monique asked, after Louis and Dani had been staring at her speechlessly for a few moments. Her nose was a centimeter away from it.

“Uh… Manet,” Dani finally said.

“Huh. Weird.”

“What is?” Louis asked cautiously.

“Nothing, I just…” Monique shrugged, not taking her face away from the painting. “Well, I'm not usually one for purely visual art, you know? There's really only a handful of artists who have enough contrast in their paintings that I can actually see anything to appreciate, and Manet definitely isn't one of them. His paintings are all just a uniform blur. This one, too. But… I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about this one that-”

“Oh, wow, Louis, I just remembered I gotta show you something back in our room,” Dani said, grabbing her brother and dragging him to the door. “Be right back, Monique.” Dani pulled her brother out of the room, down the hall a few doors, and forcefully shoved him inside their bedroom before closing the door behind her. From her bed, Emma looked up and put her book down.

“What are you two-”

“What the hell was that, Louis?” Dani demanded.

“Sorry, I probably should have seen that coming,” Louis said, embarrassed.

“Seen what coming?” Emma asked.

“Monique and I were in the library when suddenly Monique went right up to the picture hiding the Miraculouses! It was crazy, it was like they were pulling her in or something, she-” Dani noticed the look she was getting from her brother. “What?”

“That's how you're going to phrase it? Really? When the “made a beeline” pun is right there?”

“Oh my God, Louis, this is serious! What if that happens with an Order guard or something?”

“It won't,” Louis said confidently. “Miraculouses have incredible defenses, and they don't want to be found by people who aren't suited to them.”

“So…” Dani furrowed her brow, “so you're saying they do want to be found by Monique. Or at least, the Bee one does.”

“I mean, it's a little more complicated than that but yeah, basically.”

“So give it to her already!”

“It has to be the right time,” Louis said defensively. “You think we only became suited to ours on Occupation Day? We could've gotten these years ago if that was the only factor that mattered.”

“Gosh, what a nightmare that would have been,” Emma said dryly, “actually getting a few years of experience under our belt before fighting the evil wizard army.”

“We wouldn't be fighting anyone,” Louis snapped. “We’d be… wherever Mom and Dad are.”

“Oh. Right.” Emma picked her book up and went back to reading, and Louis turned back to Dani.

“Just let me worry about the Miraculouses, okay?” Louis said. Dani rolled her eyes.

“Fine, fine,” she said.

“And maybe get back there and start your stupid project before Monique figures out just what’s so interesting about that painting, you kind of left her alone with it.”

“Right. Sorry.”

~~~

“What time is it?” Monique asked as they were wrapping up.

“Um,” Dani looked at her phone, “five to seven.” Monique’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I guess I lost track of the time. Are you going to get in trouble? We can drive you home, if-”

“It’s not that,” Monique interrupted. Her emotional signature had shifted dramatically. She was feeling anxious, excited, but also daring, almost. “I just wanted to get back by seven, because, well…” Monique leaned in and dropped her voice to a near whisper. “I was eavesdropping on my parents the other day, and this woman my mom works with told her she’d heard from-well, it doesn’t matter, but she heard there was going to be a broadcast. You know, a resistance one. My parents are going to be listening to it.”

“Oh. Wow,” Dani said, trying to sound excited.

“Have you ever heard one?”

“No,” Dani told her, not adding that this was because she usually just got the information from Alya herself, in person, before mission assignments.

“I heard the last one. I know everybody finds out everything that’s in them within a day or two, but hearing them live, it’s,” Monique grinned, “trust me, it’s something else entirely.” She reached down to her side and grabbed her backpack off the floor, then opened it and pulled out a small radio. She placed it gently on the table, but then her face fell and Dani caught a sudden flash of guilt. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t assume-if you’re uncomfortable I’ll put it away, I promise, I won’t think less of you, I know listening to them is illegal, it’s fine, I’ll get the recap later, I know your grandparents are really like strict and paranoid and stuff-”

“Monique, it’s fine,” Dani interrupted. “I want to listen to it.”

“Are you sure? Your grandparents-”

“Won’t find out. It’s fine, I promise.” Nodding, Monique turned on the set and began to tune it, running her fingers over the Braille numbers along the edge as she did so. The two girls listened to static for another minute or so before a familiar voice came on.

“Bonjour, Paris!” Alya said cheerfully. “This is Alya Lahiffe coming to you live from the heart of the city with all the news that’s fit to censor. First up, as always, is corrections to what passes for journalism nowadays. Pierre Laurent, arrested last Wednesday, was charged with and found guilty of attempting to bomb a primary school in the eighth arrondissement. What this patriot was actually doing-”

“Isn’t she incredible?” Monique asked, as Alya’s report continued.

“Oh, yeah,” Dani agreed. She knew all the information already, but it really was something to hear Aunt Alya live. She sounded so happy, in a way she almost never did in person. She must have missed being a reporter far more than Dani had realized.

“She’s so brave,” Monique added. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the trio’s great, too, but Alya Lahiffe doesn’t have a secret identity or anything to keep her safe and she’s still doing so much. I think the Order might hate her even more than they hate the ‘deranged vigilantes’.”

“-finally made contact with our brothers and sisters in Lisbon,” Alya was now saying, “and I am happy to report that they’ve got two new superheroes running circles around the Order, keeping citizens safe in these trying times-”

Monique squealed excitedly. “Two superheroes!” she exclaimed. “What’s that now, almost a dozen, right? And that’s only the places the Paris resistance has been able to make contact with, who knows what London looks like, or Rome, or maybe some of the smaller cities, you know, the ones with less of an Order presence. There could be over twenty, who knows.”

“-is all for now, but stay tuned, Paris, because we’re not going anywhere. Vive la France!” The broadcast ended, and static resumed. Monique grinned at Dani.

“Well? Pretty great, huh?”

“Mm hmm.”

“You knew her, right?” Monique asked, catching Dani off guard. “You, like, used to babysit for her kid or something?”

“Oh… oh, yeah, I did. She was friends with my mom.”

“What’s she like in person? Really awesome?” Monique’s sheer admiration was starting to overwhelm Dani, make her feel slightly lightheaded, and it was getting difficult to think of how to answer correctly.

“Yeah, you know, I just thought of her as my mom’s friend I guess. I don’t think I would have pegged her as, you know…”

“The badass leader of a resistance movement?” Monique suggested.

“Yeah.” Dani glanced across the room, at the painting on the other side. God, Monique would be so good, so excited to be a part of fighting the Order. Dani hadn’t realized just how much something like that would have meant to her friend before the broadcast, before feeling Monique’s raw enthusiasm. It took all Dani’s self-control to not cross the room, open the safe, and hand the Miraculous over to her friend herself.

“... but you can print it out, right?” Monique asked, snapping Dani out of her thoughts.

“Huh?”

“The presentation? We have to turn in a typed-up copy, you have a printer, right?”

“Oh, right, yeah.”

~~~

“Ready?” Emma held up her hands, her siblings each grabbed one, and they disappeared.

Clear across the city, the three heroes rematerialized on the roof across from the unmarked building their Aunt Alya had identified for them earlier. According to her informant, the Order had preemptively captured various family members of suspected rebels and was holding them in the basement across the street.

“Are they there?” Louis asked Dani.

“Yeah, there’s definitely something going on over there. Lots of fear.” She closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating. Then she opened them, horrified.

“What?” Louis asked. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re… they’re all just kids. Like, like little kids. No spouses, no teenagers, I think the oldest one can’t be older than seven.”

“Jesus,” Emma whispered. She took a moment to let this hit her fully, then she shook her head. “It’s awful,” she agreed, “but we can’t think about it right now, we have a mission to complete.”

“You don’t understand,” Dani said. “Even if I was willing to put a seven-year-old in danger by making them a Champion, which I'm very much not, I can’t. They're all just terrified, they're not feeling brave or heroic.”

“Oh.” Emma frowned. “Okay, so… so we don't use a Champion. We've done rescue missions without them before.”

“Not since the Order started using anti-teleportation fields, we haven't,” Dani said. “We need a Champion to take it down if we want to get in there and get those kids out.”

“What if we just, you know, went through the front door? Like normal people?” Louis suggested. “No offense,” he added, looking at Emma.

“That’ll take too long, we need the element of surprise. Even a few seconds could be too long, who knows what they’ll do to those kids if they see us coming.” Dani paced a little, then kicked the ledge in frustration. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“It's okay, we’ll think it through, we’ll figure it out,” Emma said, trying to make her voice soothing, steady. “We can-”

“I figured it out,” Dani interrupted. “I just really didn't want to resort to this. I thought I could get through the occupation without it. Obviously that was stupid of me.” She closed her eyes, held her hand out, and a few moments later a small white butterfly landed in her open palm. Dani cupped her other hand over it and focused.

“Resort to what?” Emma asked.

“Shh.”

“But I thought you said-”

“Emma. Please, please shut up.” Louis shook his head at her and Emma fell silent, confused. She didn't realize what her sister was doing until Dani removed her top hand and sent the butterfly, now pitch black, gently fluttering away. A few minutes later, the butterfly had made its way inside the precinct and landed on an Order guard.

“Hello, Margaret,” Dani said. She made her voice low, inviting. Dani barely recognized it.

“Mariposa,” the guard hissed. “What do you want?”

“Oh, it's not really about what I want,” Dani said smoothly. She curled her fingers in on themselves, twisting Margaret’s emotions. Gone went any loyalty to the Order, along with any fear she might have of future retribution for her actions. Dani muted everything except the woman’s resentment, which she amplified as much as she was able. “It’s about what you want. What you were promised. What you’re owed. They told you you’d be running this city, didn’t they? The leaders of the Order. They said Paris would roll over and accept this new world, with you at the top. How much of your life did you dedicate to this cause?”

It was so easy, so painfully easy, that was the worst part. It was scaring Emma and Louis a little, Dani could feel them clear as day behind her, but she ignored them and continued focusing on the guard. If Dani was going to be damned, if she was going to do this, she’d better commit and do the best job she could.

Dani sighed sympathetically, dramatically. “And is it everything you dreamed it would be, Margaret? Is it everything they said it would be? They didn’t even get rid of all the superheroes like they promised they would. And now they’ve got you babysitting. You know you’re better than that. You know you deserve better than that.”

“I do,” Margaret whispered in agreement. The other three guards in the room still hadn’t noticed she was distracted, that she was talking to herself.

“Teach them a lesson,” Dani suggested, almost coyly. “Show them the price of offering Margaret Collings the world and giving her nothing.”

“How?”

“Accept the power I give you. Take the other guards out before they know what’s happening. Let Hera and Terrapin rescue the kids. That’ll show ‘em. That’ll teach them to respect you.”

“Yes,” Margaret agreed, “yes it will.”

~~~

The second they reappeared in the panic room, Louis started for his supply cabinet. Their uncle was at his desk working, despite the lateness of the hour. He looked up when they appeared, then immediately narrowed his eyes at Dani, concerned.

“Are you okay?” her uncle asked her, and Dani knew he was reading her emotions. “You seem-”

“You,” Dani interrupted venomously, her eyes flashing, “are the last person on the face of the planet I want to be talking to right now.” Before anyone could respond, she’d whirled around and stormed out of the room. For a moment, none of them spoke.

“Did the mission fail?” Jonathan finally asked.

“No,” Emma said, as Louis began winding string tightly around a bundle of herbs. “Easiest mission yet. We didn’t even need a shield.” She hesitated. “Dani akumatized a guard.”

“Ah.” Jonathan sighed. “Adele’s first one was pretty rough on her, too.”

“Grandma made akumas?”

“Very rarely.” Jonathan went back to work as Louis got up and left.

Back in their room, Dani slammed the door shut before leaning against it heavily and exhaling deeply. “I’m sorry, Nooroo,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-I couldn’t think of anything else-I never wanted to-”

“You did the right thing, Dani,” her kwami assured her. “You should sit down.” Nodding, Dani crossed the room on shaky legs and sat down on her bed. A second later, her brother entered the room. “Go away, Louis,” Dani snapped, “I just want to be left alone.”

“Be alone all you like,” Louis said calmly, as he pulled out a lighter and held it up to his tightly-wound bundle of herbs, “just so long as you're being alone while holding this for at least thirty minutes.” He handed over the now gently smouldering bundle. Rolling her eyes impatiently, Dani took it from him.

“Hold it closer to your center,” Louis said. Dani groaned in annoyance, but obeyed. Louis turned to leave, but before he reached the door Emma appeared.

“Are you okay?” she asked Dani.

“She’ll be fine,” Louis answered for her. “I just need to clear the akuma damage from her energy. It’s standard stuff.”

“Oh.” Emma looked at Dani again. “Anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Dani said.

“Are you sure?”

Dani glared at Emma. “You know, I can tell there’s something you want to say, you don’t have to do that thing you always do, where you ask fifty million questions before you get to the real one.”

Emma bristled. “Fine,” she said. “You… look, I get why Uncle Jonathan wouldn’t be your favorite person right now, of all times, but that’s not the first time you’ve snapped at him.”

“So?”

“So what’s your problem with him? Because that seems like something that might be important for the rest of us to know. Do you sense something? Is he not really working as hard as he could to find Mom and Dad, does he have some kind of ulterior-”

“Of course not,” Dani said, annoyed. “Do you think I’d keep it to myself if he did?”

“Then I don’t get why you’re so antagonistic-”

“Well, of course you don’t get it!” Dani interrupted angrily. “He didn’t torture your kwami, did he?”

Emma opened her mouth, but for a long time no sound came out. “Oh,” she finally said, her voice faint. “Oh, I… God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think of-”

“No, I,” Dani groaned, “that was too much, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-look. I know better than anyone that he’s sincere, that he’s really changed, that he’s doing his best to find Mom and Dad. And God, I really, desperately hope he succeeds, I do. But I can’t like him, okay? It’s fine if you do, really. I get it. It was a long time ago, he was desperate, he was trying to help Grandma, I know all that. But-”

“You don’t have to explain anything,” Louis interrupted. “We get it.”

“No, you don’t,” Dani said. “It’s not just Nooroo, it’s… I don’t know if either of you can understand it.”

“So explain it,” Emma said. She said it gently, but Dani had already caught a flash of annoyance from her. Emma hated being told she couldn’t understand something more than anything.

“You just don’t know what it's like to have the powers that he abused,” Dani told her. “It's… you know how you feel when you enter a church? Even if you're not religious, there's something about that space that makes you feel quiet inside. It's sacred. You know?” Emma and Louis both nodded. “Well, being inside another person's head is that times a thousand. I don't mean feeling their emotions, I mean specifically that moment right when the butterfly lands and you're in their head. And everything that's lead them to that moment is laid out in front of you like a book you've already read a thousand times. It's so private, so achingly personal. And you have to sort through it, and find the best of them in it, and empower that. And all the while you know you can manipulate any emotions you want, but even touching them feels wrong.” Dani impatiently brushed aside a few tears.

“Here,” Louis said, grabbing a tissue box and handing it over.

“Thanks. So… yeah, so I’m not saying I regret the akuma, I know I had to do it, and I’d do it again. And I know that woman deserved it. But it still makes me sick to think about it, about how I twisted her emotions, how I empowered the worst of her for my own ends. So the thought of someone doing that to somebody innocent, for no other reason than to intentionally cause fear and panic, it’s unspeakable. And he did it over and over and over again. It’s just… maybe I’ll get past it eventually, but not yet.”

Dani could read her siblings, and she knew they still didn’t entirely understand. But she also knew it didn’t matter. They understood she was hurting, and that was enough. Emma crossed the room and sat next to her, and a moment later Louis followed suit. They pressed against her, Emma’s head on her shoulder, Louis’ arm around her. As the smoke of the bundle she was still holding wafted around her, Dani inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled. Slowly, a piece of her was quieted, soothed.

#where have all the heroes gone and where are all the gods #ml fanfic #danielle agreste #louis agreste #emma agreste #monique i missed you so much

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aristocratlegacy · 6 years ago

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Chapter Sixty (!!!!!): Beatrice’s Birthday

Sixty Chapters and nearly three years of Aristocrats. For those of you who made it this far- thanks for sticking with me and this crazy family!!

Lucky: “There ya go, pal! Have a good one, sir!”

Courtney: “Nice job, you’ve really gotten the hang of this. You’re gonna be better than me soon.”

Lucky: “Please, I hit level ten like a week ago, I’m amazing.”

Courtney: “You definitely are. I mean, ahem, you are a very good veterinarian, Lucky.”

Lucky: “I’m glad you think so- hey, can I go early? It’s my mom’s birthday and I have to get her a gift on the way home to set up the party.”

Courtney: “No worries, head on out! Am I still invited to the party?”

Lucky: “Absolutely! I can’t wait for you to meet my mom, it’ll be hilarious!”

Courtney: “I don’t know what that means.”

Lucky: “See you tonight, wear something pretty!”

Patient: “Was that your girlfriend?”

Courtney: “No, she’s just my coworker.”

Patient: “Cool. I’ve actually been coming here for a while now whenever Muffins gets sick, and I was talking to a friend and she said I should get out there more and now I’m rambling so much, sorry, I’m Emily.”

Courtney: “Nice to meet you, I’m Courtney.”

Emily: “Do you want to go out sometime?”

Courtney: “Really? I mean, yeah, um, what’s your number?”

Emily: “I’ll put it in your phone.”

Lucky: “Okay, my mother, the professional Reality Show Contestant is getting old today, what do you get someone like that for their birthday?”

Lucky: “What about..oh- Hey, Milo.”

Milo: “Hey! I was just about to call you- I’m bringing this guy I want you to meet to Mom’s party.”

Lucky: “Really? You don’t have to do that, I mean-”

Milo: “Unless you already have somebody in mind?”

Lucky: “Kinda, I mean...you know Courtney?”

Milo: “Is that that bitch that backstabbed you in the talent show?”

Lucky: “No! This is the guy that I work with.”

Milo: “Oh. Him? I mean, good for you and everything but..”

Lucky: “What’s wrong with him?”

Milo: “Absolutely nothing. Which is the problem. He’s boring, kiddo. It’s not worth it.”

Lucky: “He’s nice.”

Milo: “I’m sure he is. Just meet Trip when I bring him tonight. You’ll get along.”

Lucky: “Fine!”

Milo: “Okay, see you in a bit- and don’t get mom a censored bar bikini that’s what I got.”

Lucky: “Gross! See you later.”

Lucky: “Crap, now I have to put this back…”

Beatrice: “I cannot believe this. I cannot believe this- can you imagine me with white hair? I can’t do this baby, you know I can’t.”

Lorne: “Bea, there’s no choice. It’s not that bad, soup even tastes better now.”

Beatrice: “I hate soup more than anything in the entire world!”

Lorne: “Baby, it’s fine. You’ll be fine.”

Lucky: “I’m home!”

Lorne: “I’ll be right back, don’t spiral any further.”

Beatrice: “Don’t let Lucky and her beautiful smooth skin in here! I can’t stand it!”

Lucky: “How is she?”

Lorne: “It’s a solid seven. Better than Eliza’s wedding outburst, worse than Selvadorado.”

Lucky: “Jeez. Can you keep looking after her while I get the rest of the party put together?”

Lorne: “Can’t you do it? I really don’t wanna go back in there.”

Lucky: “Dad, you are the strongest man I know. You can do this. Contain the spiral!”

Lorne: “Containing the spiral. Got it.”

Lorne: “And you’re sure that’s what you want to wear?”

Beatrice: “What?! I spent nine hours choosing this!”

Lorne: “Well you spent nine hours getting hammered in the back of your closet, honey. You look beautiful, let’s go to the party!”

Lucky: “Dusty! How’s Two? How’s the baby?-Oh my god…”

Milo: “Why would she wear that? We don’t need to see that sag all at once right in front of us.”

Dusty: “Shut up, she’ll hear you.”

Beatrice: “And so, finally after my 25 days of Beatrice celebration, I’m finally going to film- my family reacts to me aging up! Woo!”

Milo: “I have never heard a less enthusiastic woo in my entire life.”

Beatrice: “Get me a mirror, stat!”

Lorne: “Honey, you look as beautiful as ever. Now, let’s find you a longer skirt.”

Milo: “Lucky! Hey- this is Trip.”

Trip: “Hey.”

Lucky: “Wow, um, hi- I’m Lucky. I mean I’m not especially Lucky, Lucky is my name.”

Milo: “Usually she’s better than this.”

Lucky: “Shut up, Milo.”

Beatrice: “I have to admit this is more fun than I thought it would be.”

Milo: “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Milo.”

Courtney: “I’m Courtney.”

Milo: “Oh! Lucky’s business partner- and you look like that! Sorry, I guess I just thought you were a woman.”

Courtney: “Nope, have you seen Lucky?”

Milo: “Oh, yeah, she’s over there with Trip.”

Courtney: “Oh, cool. Looks like I’m getting a text. Bloop. Vet emergency? I’ll be right there.”

Milo: “Okay? Bye Candace! What a weird dude.”

Trip: “Something wrong? You keep looking at the door.”

Lucky: “No it’s totally cool, I love this song,wanna make out?”

Beatrice: “It’s like Lucky is throwing her spectacular youth in my face. I can’t take this. I can’t even see!”

Lorne: “Do you need glasses?”

Beatrice: “No! No Glasses please I beg you!”

Lorne: “Calm down, babe, you’re fine just not being able to see. Maybe that way you won’t see your daughter hardcore making out with that weird guy down the street that handwashes all of his clothes in a bucket.”

Beatrice: “Ew! The barn guy? Why is our daughter making out with the barn guy? I raised her to have better taste than this! Bike messengers or better!”

Lorne: “Beatrice, please, just settle down and enjoy the party!”

Beatrice: “How can I? I’m so old, music makes me want to wave a cane at children!”

Lorne: “Does it really?”

Beatrice: “No, but how much longer until it does?!”

Milo: “So...you and Scarlett are just dressing like this now?”

“Bucky and Natasha didn’t even interact in the new movie. I’m coping.”

Milo: “It’s quite the statement.” “Don’t tell me how to live my life.”

Taffy: “Mom! Hey, I wanted to tell you that Andres and I are engaged!”

Beatrice: “I will never have a central plot unrelated to a mid life crisis again! My life is over! OVER!”

Taffy: “I guess I shouldn’t tell her I’m pregnant.”

Lorne: “Nope. Congratulations and I love you and I’m so psyched to be a grandpa but you need to get that business and that smooth skin out of your mother's face right now.”

Lucky: “I can’t believe I just woohooed a stranger in my own closet at my mom’s party.”

Trip: “Yeah, that’s pretty risky, hot though.”

Lucky: “Right? So hot.”

Lucky: “Mmm- hold on, oh no, what is she doing?”

Beatrice: “*hic* I am Beyonce, I am beautiful, and I want everybody out of my house! My house that my Simstagram money paid for! Party over, pretty people- get outta here!”

Lucky: “Mommy, hi, okay, let’s get you to bed.”

Beatrice: “Get out of here with your smooth skin and your pretty new boyfriend.”

Lucky: “I mean, he’s not my boyfriend-”

Beatrice: “Not everything is about you, Lucky!!!”

Courtney: “Wow, you look…”

Lucky: “Be very careful what you say next.”

Courtney: “Hungover. I was going to say hungover. And late for work.”

Lucky: “Yeah, that checks out.”

Courtney: “I take it the party went well, then?”

Lucky: “Yeah, it was going super well until my mom got really drunk and started making announcements.”

Courtney: “Yikes. Sorry I couldn’t make it. Vet emergency.”

Lucky: “Was everything okay? You could’ve pulled me out-”

Courtney: “It was a definitely real emergency, which was important enough for me to have to leave, but that only I could handle.”

Lucky: “Okay? I missed you there, though. Too bad you missed it.”

Courtney: “Anything interesting happen?”

Lucky: “Yeah, the yelling.”

Courtney: “I meant besides that. Was anybody interesting there? Did you meet someone new with an unusual talent?”

Lucky: “No, nothing out of the ordinary at all. Just a regular Aristocrat throwdown, little less blood this time than usual.”

Trip: “Hey, babe! I’m here to take you out to lunch, hot stuff.”

Lucky: “Trip! What are you doing here? How did you even know that I work here?”

Trip: “You told me last night, remember? Or was it this morning? You gotta believe it, the dance moves on this girl!”

Lucky: “Shut up, you!”

Courtney: “You’d better get going soon, if you want to beat the lunch rush.”

Lucky: “Oh, I shouldn’t leave yet, I just got here. Trip, why don’t you just hang out over there and-”

Courtney: “Go to lunch! I insist, go to lunch. Please. I insist. Go. Out.”

Lucky: “Aw, that is so sweet.”

Lucky: “So, what is your favorite city? Mine is Brindleton Bay because of all the dogs.”

Trip: “Well I camp a lot, so I guess I’d say Granite Falls.”

Lucky: “Yeah, camping is...so cool. I love that. Camping.”

Trip: “Totally.”

Lucky: “This is such a lovely, silent walk. What kind of things do you like?”

Trip: “Nature, contemplation, recycling.”

Lucky: “I like animals, science, and reading books.”

Trip: “I love books- all those long stretches of quiet, just me and the story.”

Lucky: “You’re not much of a talker are you?”

Trip: “I find that it’s better to show the people you care about how you feel with actions...not words.”

Lucky: “Oh!”

Lorne: “Good morning, honey.”

Beatrice: “Oh my god I’m so hungover. I’ve never been this hungover before.”

Lorne: “I made you breakfast in bed.”

Beatrice: “Like a geriatric nurse.”

Lorne: “Oh my god. Beatrice- pony up. You’re technically old. But that’s fine! Every time that you see a disaster, you lean into it and make it amazing.”

Beatrice: “I love you, honey.”

Lorne: “I love you, too.”

Beatrice: “...these aren’t my shoes.”

Courtney: “Hey, so how was ‘lunch’”

Lucky: “So good- we’re both vegetarians and he made us a picnic in the park he is a surprisingly good cook.”

Courtney: “You know he lives in a barn, right?”

Lucky: “Yeah, it’s, like...shabby chic. It’s nice in there, he’s quite the decorator.”

Courtney: “Totally. I bet he is. Hey- I was debating asking this girl out, Emily, she came in yesterday with her cat.”

Lucky: “It wasn’t that skinny blonde one with the dog that keeps running into things, was it? Because I heard her say she has a really low credit score.”

Courtney: “No, it’s Emily, with the cat.”

Lucky: “Oh. Her? I mean, yeah, I guess. If that’s your thing. If there are furries running around there are people that are into...that.”

Courtney: “She’s actually really nice.”

Lucky: “Ask her out.”

Courtney: “Why is your voice so high pitched?”

Lucky: “It’s not.”

Courtney: “I don’t have to go out with her.”

Lucky: “You should. I’m dating Trip, your dating whatshername.”

Courtney: “Emily”

Lucky: “Right. Yes. Ask her out. You’re asking her out. You are doing that right now, and that’s great! Do that.”

Courtney: “Okay, I will. Done.”

*ding*

Lucky: “Wow she texted back really fast. Pretty desperate.”

Courtney: “Oh, cool, she has tickets to that amphitheater show in the city and she was looking for someone to go with. “

Lucky: “Lucky you! That’ll be so fun. I’m gonna text Trip.”

Courtney: “C’mon, Lucky. We’re at work.”

Lucky: “So unprofessional, I’m sorry Mr. Marsh.”

Courtney: “That will be all, Ms. Aristocrat.”

Lucky: “Dork.”

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that’s all for now! I had their whole little story in one chapter but it was really really long so I cut half of it out.Reblog/Comment if you like it!!!

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