#the budget constraints are hilarious

[ashley-scum]

Ys X: Nordics (2023), dev. Nihon Falcom

[sciderman]

I'm sure you've talked about this aspect before but didn't the budget get slashed right before filming for DP1 + TJ miller utilized his studio for extra unpaid work on the effects? They were HUNGRY back then so it HAD to be good and they lost that hunger 😔💔

Like the DP trilogy as a whole is like insane on paper. Leaked test footage, securing the R rating, the last minute multimillion budget slash, RR trying desperately for like a decade to get it made, etc.

It's not quite awe inspiring but also not quite a cautionary tale. Somewhere in the middle?

tim miller is the producer / director for deadpool 1 ! tj miller is... someone else. both of them are t-millers that the deadpool movies like to forget. but yeah, the deadpool budget was slashed mega and it's why wade kept forgetting his ammo bags (hilarious)

im so sorry but the low-budget charm of deadpool 1 and how they worked around it to create something so funny and charming despite all it's drawbacks - vs bottomless wallet and bottomless cameos creating something so utterly charmless with disney - yeah. it's exactly what i was worried about.

the first movie was better for it having such a small cast of characters. the action was better for it not having an unlimited budget and unlimited ammo and no real weight or stakes.

all the budget constraints made a better movie!

and yeah - the lack of faith in deadpool working meant that the team behind it wanted to prove themselves all the more. they couldn't phone it in. it wasn't guaranteed butts in seats like we're at right now. deadpool got cocky. ryan got cocky. the writers are cocky, and know that they don't need to do much at all to make audiences happy. all they have to do is put enough f-bombs and enough cameos and enough comic-faithful costumes in there and that's kind of it.

[laurelnose]

i saw an essay when Book of Hours came out that said the Librarian was different from the Cultist because the Cultist has no friends and is just holed up somewhere pursuing higher mysteries while using people as ritual parts, while the Librarian is a member of the community at Brancrug. (It was hilarious how fast BoH swung the fandom consensus on the Cultist from “they’re pretty competent” to “oh the Cultist is a fucking idiot,” lmfao.) anyways uhh they’re right but since House of Light came out I have realized that I like playing BoH exactly the same way I play CS, which is to say I hole up in my big weird house for days on end shuffling my card decks and forgetting other people exist, only to be unpleasantly surprised when the season changes and someone shows up at my door. community what community. The Deep Mysteries need to be shelved.

[very mild, largely mechanical House of Light spoilers to follow]

salons are pretty fun once you’ve got enough resources to not feel squeezed about them though. They take a lot of prep and you have to time your invitations correctly so that your visitors arrive while you’re still flush with soul, but I do enjoy the conversation with the guests. and it does feel nice to be able to write to visitors, even if I’m not doing it very often. like the Librarian really is connected to the outside world and not just hopelessly unmoored from other people at Hush House, at the mercy of whoever randomly bothers to make the trek out to Brancrug. I’m still spending most of my money on Unusual Help and haven’t been able to budget much for dishes but I’m almost done unlocking the House and will soon be able to buy much more food. I like that lessons are now functionally infinite and I don’t have to worry about trying to get the timing right for Numa lessons anymore. I’ve not done a lot of incident follow-up (Spencer is coming next Numa and he will be my first) but I think I shall have to prioritize doing more of them. And I shall have to find out if my Numa incident can be followed up on too, once it concludes.

[“how have you been playing for a week and still haven’t concluded any incidents” I am BEING ANTISOCIAL, as previously established.]

i am so sad that Numa visitors don’t leave calling cards. I understand why but the only thing I really wanted from the visitors update was the ability to make Julian Coseley show up whenever I want. 😭 Can you host a salon during Numa if you are careful with your invitation timing?? I will have to check if the Numa guests have food preference aspects.

two final things. 1) please let me buy eggs oh my god. eggs require three soul cards (collect vegetable sack. feed chicken. collect egg from chicken) which considering that the going rate for a soul card at the Sweet Bones is 12p and that you can’t multitask with beasts e.g. feeding Tuppence while collecting from Terrence, makes eggs one of THEE most complicated and expensive ingredients to obtain. It’s more straightforward to collect from the gulls but considering the pull rate is 33% eggs, that’s still basically three soul cards per egg, this time with aspect constraints! I will pay fucking spintriae for eggs, just let me use currencyyyyy. 2) the fucking shelving system is still giving me fits, I think it’s been improved somewhat for the books (I didn’t play the Daymare update so IDK if it was that or HoL) but where the hell am I supposed to put ANYTHING else. When I order all the ingredients I need for cooking, where do they go, the fucking bridge? Gross! Immersion-breaking! I need more pantry space.

(I unfortunately have limited patience for the shelf thing. The most concrete manifestation of my COVID trauma is I can’t STAND irregularly shaped shelves anymore. Circulation dropped by >70% during lockdown and took years to recover. Public library collections are sized with the expectation that a certain percentage of the collection will live with patrons; we were not and still aren’t equipped to house our entire collection in-house. I spent a year of my life jury-rigging shelves to get things to fit. The bane of my existence became shelves so specifically designed for a certain type of media that they couldn’t be extended or repurposed for other things. Having to constantly shuffle books around between ~aesthetic~ little nooks isn’t cute or cozy, it’s just bad fucking library design. When the shelving mechanic on BoH works it’s a thing of beauty but there are simply NOT ENOUGH SHELVES. I just want to fit my reasonably-sized collection on one screen. Also the scrolls should stack on top of each other. Catch my Librarian spending their stipend on ripping out the entire Westcott Room and redoing it for space efficiency)

[humbledragon669]

Script to Screen comparison: deleted scenes

There is a section at the back of the Script Book, consisting of a number of scenes that needed to be removed from the final draft of the script prior to filming to ensure that timing and budget constraints could be met. I’ve decided to take a bit of a deep dive on each, using the following structure for each to keep everything nice and tidy:

Scene title.

Synopsis.

Notes.

Summary/thoughts.

Enjoy!

The Regrettably-Deleted-Other-Four-Horsemen-of-the-Apocalypse Sequence

Synopsis

This sequence of scenes is the original setting for scenes #521-527 (the Horsemen meeting in the café), #554 (the Horsemen travelling on the road towards Adam’s call), and a bit more besides. Those scenes are, for the most part, incorporated into the opening of this sequence. Outside of the content of the scenes that did end up in the finished script, this sequence introduces us to four new characters, all of whom are Hells Angels, who decide to take up with the Horsemen as an alternative set of “Bikers of the Repocalypse”, with rather tragic consequences for them all.

Notes

As I’ve mentioned, the majority of scenes #521-527 and #554 are fully incorporated into the beginning scenes of the original sequence. There are some elements of the original script that could have been included in the finished script but were not, which are listed below:

The stage directions have an ice cream sign spinning in the wind outside the café.

A chunk of the scene showing War influencing two men into a fight with one another as she enters the café.

Two close-up shots of the screen showing the trivia game that Death is playing, listing categories that include titles for each of the Horsemen present at the time that the close-up shot takes place.

A line from War about how they have waited for so long to travel such a short distance.

A section of the scene where Death has what can only be described as a temper tantrum at one of the questions being asked in the trivia game – what year Elvis died in.

War referring to Death as “Boss” as he approaches the table.

Death taking a seat with the rest of the Horsemen after leaving his trivia game.

I actually quite like the idea that the presence of each of the Horsemen effects their surroundings in subtle ways, as would have been seen with the trivia game categories, and I think it’s a shame that little detail didn’t make it to the final cut, but I do appreciate that it would have involved a fair amount of design work for a very small payoff. That little tantrum from Death though, I really miss that. So much so that I’ve mentioned it before in the episode write-up. For those of you who don’t know what I’ve talking about, here’s what never even made it to the cutting room floor (remember the question, which Death refuses to select an answer for, is about the year of Elvis Presley’s death):

DEATH: I DON’T CARE WHAT IT SAYS. I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON HIM.

I don’t know what it is, but I find that absolutely hilarious. Genuinely really disappointed it didn’t make it to the episode, especially given that they went to the trouble of including the Elvis character at the burger joint that Famine goes to pedal his Chow at.

There are another handful of things in this opening scene that can be found in the finished script, but with some slight amendments. These are shown in the table below:

All pretty innocuous I think. With these exceptions between the two sets of scenes pointed out, the only other difference is that the closing exchange between all four of the Horsemen about it being time to set off on the ride at the end of the café scene in the finished script. This isn’t in the original version at all, and probably replaces the extended end to this scene that was scripted. The end of this scene originally consisted of an interrogation of the Horsemen by the four human bikers, none of whom seem to be that bothered at the clearly supernatural forces in front of them (Death has lifted his visor at that point in the scene).

Summary/thoughts

Alright, I want to try and be kind about this sequence, because it is true to the book, and because the author himself has titled it a “regrettably-deleted” sequence. Here’s the thing though – what, exactly, would those other four horsemen characters have offered to the storyline? And let’s be clear – we’re talking a LOT of extra things that would have needed to be catered for to make this sequence:

Four extra cast members to play the Hells Angels bikers, plus costumes, make-up (specifically tattoos, as mentioned in the script), and actual functioning motorbikes for each of them.

Extra design for the trivia game.

Two extra cast members to play a constable and a sergeant.

Extra recording time for the narrator (God).

Extra filming for motorbikes in motion, with dialogue taking place during the ride.

A turned over lorry with a mountain of fish – possibly achieved with special effects?

Make-up/special effects for the dead and injured human bikers at the end of the sequence.

I mean, it’s a lot. Not to mention that there are some bits of the sequence that don’t really even make sense. I just can’t understand why a chance encounter with the actual Horsemen of the Apocalypse in a roadside café would make four bikers think that they were suddenly “mystical beings”, how they found out that the Horsemen were indeed the Horsemen, and why they were perfectly happy to travel with them without a second thought. I don’t know why the author was so regretful about cutting/adjusting these scenes – perhaps they were something Terry wrote and really liked, and if that’s the case I can understand the attachment. Personally I think the version we got was better – less complicated, and doesn’t distract from the storyline, which is fair motoring along at that point in the show. I certainly don’t miss the barrage of increasingly convoluted names the human bikers want to allocate to themselves as the sequence draws to a close.

In Which Aziraphale Meets the Neighbours

Synopsis

Taking place (I think) immediately before scene #335 (the phone call from Aziraphale to Shadwell), Aziraphale’s research into Agnes Nutter’s book is interrupted by three thugs trying to pressure him into selling his bookshop so that they can develop the land into housing.

Notes

The main thing I noted from this scene was that it feels very rough. There’s mention in the stage directions that Aziraphale is wearing the same clothes he was in the day before, but honestly I feel like he wears the same clothes every day (in the current day setting at least), so this being a marker of him being anything is a bit of a moot point. I found it very difficult to place in the timeline because Aziraphale refers to being open “tomorrow”, despite “tomorrow” being Saturday, when Armageddon is due to take place (which I would think would mean that opening the bookshop is pretty low on a list of priorities), and then goes on to tell the thugs they will “have most of Saturday” to repent for their sins. It all just feels very vague.

The end of this scene shows Aziraphale picking up the phone to make a call, but makes no mention of who he’s calling, or for what purpose. I have assumed that this is him initiating the call to Shadwell to appoint the Witchfinder Army to find Adam, but mostly that’s because the only time we see him call Crowley doesn’t fit with the timeline. The content of this scene doesn’t really seem to support the idea that he knows about Adam at this point, but I don’t know where else it would go otherwise.

Summary/thoughts

In case it’s not obvious, I’m not a big fan of this scene. Firstly there’s that excuse for three full-grown thugs turning up and threatening to burn down a building just because they want to develop the land. It feels pretty weak, but perhaps this was intended to be a social commentary on the morals of property development in the UK (and don’t get me wrong, I could say a lot about the way I feel about house developers, none of it good).

And then there’s the way that Aziraphale rescues himself from the situation (by simply miracling the thugs into clearing up the mess they’ve made and leaving). It feels… kinda weak. Doesn’t exactly strike fear into their hearts that might prevent them, or associates of theirs, from showing up again. The author states he wrote this scene to show “Aziraphale in action” but I think that angel is capable of kicking ass in a much more convincing way when he needs to. Perhaps the whole scene could have been tidied and tightened if it had made its way to the finished episode, but for the addition of three extra members of cast (all of whom have lines, and therefore, a paycheck), I don’t think we get anything out of it that we need for the storyline.

In Which Crowley Gets Drunk with Leonardo da Vinci

Synopsis

The title pretty much says it all for this short scene – the only other thing you need to know is that this is a flashback scene that goes over the backstory for how Crowley got his Mona Lisa sketch.

Notes

This scene would have taken place during scene #447 (Crowley retrieving the thermos of holy water from his safe). The script for this scene barely covers 2 pages, so it really is short, and as such I didn’t make a lot of notes for it aside from this being quite a nice opportunity for highlighting Crowley’s mischievous yet easily distracted character.

Summary/thoughts

As a scene I like it. I think its intended position sucks. It was meant to go right in the middle of a scene where the tone is one of urgency – Crowley is desperately trying to booby trap his apartment in readiness for the arrival of Hastur and Ligur. Do you know what really helps the pace of a scene showing desperate actions being taken by a desperate character? Well, lots of things, but what definitely doesn’t help is a flashback scene whose content offers nothing of relevance to the particular story thread being shown to the audience at that time. Cutting this scene, at least from its intended position, was a good idea, even if I do really enjoy the idea of seeing a drunk Crowley talking helicopters with an even drunker da Vinci.

In Which Aziraphale Searches for a Body

Synopsis

Again, the title gives a pretty accurate description of this scene sequence. What the title doesn’t say is that the events of these scenes entail Aziraphale finding and possessing two different bodies, in two different countries, before departing both owing to the lack of geographical proximity to Crowley Tadfield, as he desires.

Notes

These scenes take place, either together or split up, sometime after scene #516 (Aziraphale’s manifestation in the pub) and before #528 (Aziraphale taking possession of Madame Tracy’s body during the séance). Mostly what I noted from them was how much money it would have taken to make these scenes, fun as they might have been. Let’s take a look at some of the requirements:

A location shot on a sandy beach in tropical climes (the script stipulates Haiti).

Another cast member to play Citron Deux-Chevaux (literally “Lemon Two-Horses” if my French is up to scratch. No, I didn’t Google translate it).

Special effects for Aziraphale’s possession of Citron.

A sound set for the TV studio scenes.

Cast members to play the Studio Manager, Stacy, Marvin (apparently intended to be Patton Oswalt), as well as extras to play the studio audience.

An advert, including original soundtrack, for the TV studio scene.

An exterior shot, including an extra to play a passer-by.

Special effects for Aziraphale’s possession of Marvin (not least for a VERY long speech given by Aziraphale whilst possessing Marvin).

There are a couple of clever elements in these scenes (Marvin’s “nice and accurate” depiction of the Armageddon for example), but I didn’t make a lot of notes on them other than that - they’re fairly straightforward as far as the script goes.

Summary/thoughts

These seemed like they would have been fun scenes, both to make and to watch. But as with the other deleted scenes that I’ve wittered about already, they don’t really add anything to the storyline, at a time when everything happening on the screen has to contribute to the forward movement of the story. Not to mention how much cost there would have been associated with the production of these scenes, and not just in cast or costuming – transportation costs, special effects, music production, the list goes on. They would have been phenomenally expensive, and the organisation required would have been vast. Fun they might have been, but the decision to cut these scenes seems to me a very logical one to make.

In Which Crowley Goes Clothes Shopping

Synopsis

In a set-up scene for the meeting in the Dirty Donkey, Crowley attends a clothes shop in Soho looking for a new piece of black for his wardrobe.

Notes

This scene would have gone at the beginning of the 1967 sequence in episode 3. It’s really short (barely a page long) and the only note I made was to say how strange it would have been to have seen Crowley in anything other than black!

Summary/thoughts

Another good decision made to cut this scene I think – other than giving us the tiniest bit of background for how Crowley has recruited his lackeys to help him rob a church, there’s no new information to be had from it. As fun as it would have been to see Crowley clothes shopping, I don’t think that’s a good enough pay of for the extra cast member (including a 60s costume for him) and the considerable number of clothing props that would have been required to make the scene.

Untitled scene

Synopsis

Aziraphale is preparing to open his bookshop in 1800 when he is visited by Gabriel and Sandalphon, who come bearing news of a promotion that will see him relocated back to Heaven. Crowley overhears this, instantly forming a plan to persuade them that his the angel needs to stay on Earth because he’s the only one that can thwart the demon’s wiles.

Notes

This scene would have taken place as part of the opening sequence to episode 3, immediately after the 1793 scene in the Bastille. And my, isn’t there a lot to say about this scene?! I’ll try and keep this section as matter-of-fact as possible, and just put the notes I’ve written in the book before I start waffling in the summary. So, with that in mind, the first note I wrote relates to this line:

AZIRAPHALE: Listen, if it’s about that business in Paris, um, it wasn’t my miracle…

I have assumed that he’s referring to the demonic miracle Crowley performed in Paris to get him out of shackles. Or perhaps it’s the one he actually did do himself to steal the executioner’s clothes. Either way, there’s a 7-year gap between the miracle being performed and this scene. Seems like a pretty long time to be waiting to get caught for something. Personally I would assume this is more likely to be a reflection of Aziraphale’s worrying and guilt-ridden character traits that it is of Heaven’s ability to detect misdemeanours.

Next up, I have a couple of things to point out about Aziraphale’s lack of choice being highlighted in this scene:

GABRIEL: We’re bringing you home.

That line says it pretty clearly – they’re not asking if he wants to come back, or even posing the statement in a way that presents this as a good thing. They are bringing him “home”. In another demonstration of Aziraphale’s lack of choice in Heavenly matters, Gabriel later tells Sandalphon that Aziraphale has been on Earth doing his duty for almost 6000 years, showing an incredible devotion to duty. But he never really had a choice, did he? He was posted on Earth by his superiors so that’s where he went. And stayed, but not really because he wanted to, even though that’s how it eventually pans out. And if you were in any doubt that his superiors believe that his time on Earth has been anything other than some sort of low-level punishment, this should change your mind:

GABRIEL: You get to come home.

The message is loud and clear – you can leave this shithole and come back to where the big boys play.

Moving on a little bit, Aziraphale’s only argument is to try and convince the visiting angels that he is the only one that “thwart the wiles of the demon Crowley”. Which, for me at least, raises the question about when Crowley’s actions have become the sole responsibility of Aziraphale to manage. Are there other angel/demon pairs like them all over the world? Why has Crowley been specifically singled out as requiring behaviour management (perhaps because of his actions in the Garden of Eden?)? What other responsibilities does Aziraphale have, outside of watching a single demon? So. Many. Questions.

The next note I made in the book doesn’t really translate into words for a blog, and it’s next to the stage direction that has Crowley bringing Aziraphale a box of chocolates to celebrate the opening of the bookshop. You read that right – CROWLEY BROUGHT AZIRAPHALE CHOCOLATES.

Aaaaaaaaand… breathe.

Nothing much more to say about that (at least not that can be written into legible words).

If the chocolates thing wasn’t enough to make you swoon, how about this line:

AZIRAPHALE: Crowley’s been down here just as long as I have. And he’s wily, and cunning and brilliant and oh…

If the words themselves aren’t enough to make you brain start to implode, it’s worth bearing in mind that Crowley would actually have been able to hear him saying these things during this scene...

Let’s move on.

Most of the notes for the rest of the scene revolve around the fact that Crowley then disappears to enact a plan he has concocted, hastily, that will convince Gabriel that Aziraphale MUST stay on Earth to defeat him. What I found incredibly telling about this is that he does it without any prompting from Aziraphale – his actions are entirely his own. There are two reasons for him doing this; either he really doesn’t want Aziraphale’s replacement actually doing a good job and stopping him from living a nice comfy life on Earth (a feasible reason) or he doesn’t want to be without Aziraphale (let’s face it, this is the real reason).

Summary/thoughts

I’m not going to lie. I miss this scene bad. Like, really bad. What I find interesting is that the author states that the reason it was cut is because it was “just fun”. I disagree. A lot. There’s so much in this scene about the relationship that Aziraphale has with his Heavenly superiors, his feelings about being on Earth, the comfortable relationship that he and Crowley have fallen into, not to mention a bit of backstory about when the bookshop was actually opened. It’s a treasure trove of joy – obvious and sub-textual, and I don’t care about the massive overhaul the bookshop set would have had to have gone through, the extra costumes, or the additional sound set required to make a tailor shop, we deserved this scene. CROWLEY BROUGHT AZIRAPHALE CHOCOLATES GODAMMIT.

*breath*

Maybe, just maybe, this has a place somewhere in season 3. I really hope so.

In Which Aziraphale Almost Sells a Book

Synopsis

Set in 1859, Aziraphale is discussing the latest Dickens novel (A Tale of Two Cities) with a customer (who apparently looks remarkably like Queen Victoria), before being delivered a note from Crowley, summoning him to a rendezvous.

Notes

This scene would have taken place in the opening sequence to episode 3, immediately before the 1862 meeting in St. James’s Park. There are a couple of interesting points to be had from this scene, not all of them beneficial to the overall timeline of the story as we now know it. Personally, I think there’s something to be said about Aziraphale receiving the delivery of a note from Crowley, rather than the demon just showing up at the shop himself. He obviously knows where it is (as seen in the Untitled deleted scene covered above), and is comfortable going there, even in this early year. So why the note? Knowing what we know from season 2, we could say this might have something to do with Hell’s attitude towards him following the Edinburgh excursion. The thing is, I’ve always been under the impression that Crowley and Aziraphale don’t see each other at all in the intervening years between Edinburgh and the meeting in St. James’s Park about the holy water, so this scene’s existence would unpick that assumption.

I also really love that Crowley signs the note off as “C.”. I’ve always felt there’s something very intimate about signing notes off with just your initial – it conveys a level of familiarity with the recipient that’s hard to convey in a spoken conversation. And if you think that’s an exaggeration, we can look to the instant response that Aziraphale has to receiving the note:

AZIRAPHALE: We’re closed. You have to go away now.

Gone is the polite yet firm manner that we know of the angel so well. He even follows it up with a lie about another bookshop having a book he knows doesn’t exist, just to get rid of his customer. Not only that though, he’s so delighted with his summons, he does a little bit of magic for the urchin that has delivered the note.

Summary/thoughts

I think there’s a lot to be said about this scene. It certainly gives us some insight of how Aziraphale perceives his relationship with Crowley, even as early as 1859, and free from Crowley’s presence in this scene he would have been able to express himself a bit more outwardly than we have been allowed to see before this. That said, it does interfere with the timeline that we come to establish later. It could perhaps have been adapted to fit immediately before the meeting in 1872, albeit with some tweaks to the literature being discussed, at which point it would actually have offered a very poignant insight to the angel’s reaction to the realisation that Crowley is no longer being held in Hell (I know, I know, we don’t find this out until season 2, and potentially wouldn’t have been on the author’s radar at the time of the writing of the script, but we have to account for it now that we do know about it). It’s a scene that I actually quite miss, largely because of the extra sub-text we would have had a chance to divine, but I fully understand that the extra cost involved to employ two more cast members (including period costumes), not to mention the work involved in dressing the bookshop for a different time period, goes way beyond the potential benefits of including it in the finished episode.

Closing notes

Well, that was fun. Especially that untitled scene in 1800. Which is good, because this is the last of anything I have to say on the Script Book. I hope somebody out there has enjoyed the work I’ve done around it, if there’s anything specific you want to discuss or see me go into a deeper dive about, drop me a line but for now, and as always, questions, comments, discussion, always welcome 😊

[funnywormz]

i KNOW it's because of budget and storytelling constraints but it always frustrates me a little in star trek when they go to an alien planet and all of the flora and fauna is basically just earth stuff aside from the intelligent alien species who'll have like. nose ridges or funky foreheads.

the original series is the only star trek which seemed to make an effort in that regard but it was kinda the bare minimum. at the same time i can't hold that against it because it means we get lots of plants in the background that are obviously just tussock which someone sprayed with purple spray paint which is objectively hilarious. it also means we get the silly unicorn dog. so i can't rlly complain...........

in other trek series though they'll just have Regular earth animals show up on some exotic alien planet and it's like. what is that burmese python doing on some m-class planet on the other side of the quadrant. don't tell me they're invasive there too...............

[agentnico]

Napoleon (2023) Review

Wow, Napoleon Bonaparte must have really peed off Ridley Scott. The man evidently despises the little fella.

Plot: A look at the military commander's origins and his swift, ruthless climb to emperor, viewed through the prism of his addictive and often volatile relationship with his wife and one true love, Josephine.

So, this is the second feature film to come out this year featuring Joaquin Phoenix playing a character that really needs to cum, excuse my ironic French. The first is Beau Is Afraid, but the second is with Napoleon. Phoenix is an uber-horny little dude in this! You may have read other reviews and reactions mentioning this, and it's true - Napoleon is a surprisingly funny film, at least regarding its titular Emperor. Joaquin Phoenix really emphasizes the pathetic man-child aspect of Napoleon, and there are some great lines he says involving boats and lamb chops that are hilarious. But he is also a sex freak. Director Ridley Scott seemingly continues his streak of staging over-the-top riotous sex scenes, with recently in House of Gucci where Lady Gaga and Adam Driver do it like it's nobody's business, but now in Napoleon also where Phoenix seems to be channeling a puppy humping a chair whilst his wife played by Vanessa Kirby is as stiff as the aforementioned chair. As such, this movie ends up being a comedic gold mine at times, which is not what I would have expected going into it.

It is really gratifying to see a big-budget historical epic gracing our screens. It's rare for Hollywood these days to release a movie of this caliber, with only certain directors like Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, Denis Villeneuve, Christopher Nolan, and Scott having that reputation and freedom to receive big budgets from studios and do what they want with it. Ridley Scott seems to be the primary pioneer for continuing to make historical epics such as The Last Duel and Exodus: Gods and Kings, and I really do wish that Hollywood will continue to allow this genre to continue and give them the budget they need, as seeing these major scale battle sequences on the big screen can be so much more exciting than a CGI superhero space fight. With Napoleon, Scott again impresses with the grand scope of the battles, from the sweeping shots to the intense close-ups, with some creative imagery throughout. The stand-out sequence for me was the Austerlitz battle on ice, and it stood out from both a cinematic and narrative point. On the one hand, it is the prime showcase of Napoleon's tactical mind and his impressive skills in planning traps to defeat his enemy, and on the other hand visually when the enemy ranks are attacked by surprise cannon fire and as they start sinking through the breaking ice and drowning, the collective colour of their blood mixing with the ice and water symbolizing the image of the French flag... I mean that is pure cinema right there! That is what makes Ridley Scott stand out as a director - he is a filmmaker driven by the old school and unwilling to fall into contemporary film constraints. The common phrase "they don't make them like this anymore" is prevalent here more than ever.

That being said, Napoleon is not without its problems. For one, I'm usually the first to complain if a movie is too long, however here I find the opposite. It's a near 3 hour-long movie and yet that is hardly enough time to deliver a satisfying recollection of Napoleon's life. That right there is the issue. Napoleon's life is filled with so many fascinating moments, that any one of them, whether it be his rise to power, his chaotic relationship with his wife Josephine, his invasion of Russia, or the detrimental Battle of Waterloo, any of these could have been enough for one film to tell, yet Scott tries to tell Napoleon's entire life. With also reading that Scott is saving a 4-hour cut for the movie's streaming debut on Apple next year, you can really tell that this theatrical version is stripped down with many chunks cut out, resulting in choppy editing, and no breathing room for the narrative to have any emotional resonance. The movie feels rushed and unfinished, so I'd be interested to see how that 4-hour version next year will pan out, and if it will be a similar situation to Scott's other epic Kingdom of Heaven, where the Director's Cut is an entirely different movie to the original.

The other major issue is the characterization of the titular character. I'm not judging Phoenix's performance; he, Vanessa Kirby and the entire cast play their parts well - it is more so the way the character of Napoleon is written/treated that is the concern. Writer David Scarpa and director Ridley Scott are evidently trying to deconstruct Napoleon, yet they are unsure about how to go about it. He feels all over the place, with on one side this calm and calculated general, on the other an angry child, and finally this sex freak. They really should have focused primarily on only one of these, as instead Phoenix is forced to jump back and forth from scene to scene, and it feels like he's got some sort of multi-personality disorder. The character is very inconsistent and messy, and as such is more a caricature of the real-life figure rather than an impersonation. Vanessa Kirby's Josephine stands as the more well-written and thought-through character, yet due to the movie's rushed pace we don't get to spend nearly enough time with her, and by the end of the film she vanishes into the shadows when the writers again get stuck with what to do with her.

Napoleon is a solidly entertaining historical epic that harkens back to the old days of Hollywood. With surprising amounts of humour and also some truly incredible battle sequences, it feels cinematic and bold. Yet due to leaving too much footage on the cutting floor and a script that struggles to juggle all the real-life events as well as its titular character's layers, the movie fails at reaching the highs of Ridley Scott's other directorial efforts. Again, once the 4-hour version premieres on Apple this movie may then turn out to be a masterpiece, but until then it's simply a passable historic affair, if with some historical inaccuracies. Though don't mention that last part to Ridley Scott, he'll start having his own manchild moment again screaming "Get a life!".

Overall score: 7/10

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Hiiiiii, I’m late but like Leo, Taro had money/budget issues. So the captain character wouldn’t appear only occasionally due to money constraints.

A combination of falling ratings and, well, filming three shows at once.

okay so he will come back but he's barely in the show at all. he's a recurring character. hilarious choice bc i would not even have noticed if it was one of the random guy side characters but this is the CAPTAIN we're talking about

[arshs-artpage]

Very Manly Mucho Macho (1962)

Aired in 1962, Very Manly Mucho Macho is a Warner Bros. Merrie Melodies cartoon directed by Robert McKimson. Known for its exaggerated characters, slapstick humor, and energetic pacing, the short stands as proof of the evolution of animation industry at the time.

By the early 1960's, Warner Bros. Animation faced increasing financial pressures as the industry shifted away from theatrical shorts to people watching the shorts on television more. Studios like Warner Bros. responded by cutting budgets and streamlining production processes to reduce costs. Compared to the lush and highly detailed animations like What's Opera, Doc?(1957), which is Warner Bros.' one of the most lavishly made cartoons, the fluid characters, complex staging style makes the whole design of the show so attractive. Despite these evident budget constraints and shifts in the industry, Very Manly Mucho Macho showcases the enduring appeal of the studio's storytelling and artistic craftsmanship.

The animation style of the short retains the vibrant humour and characterizations seen in many other Warner Bros. cartoons. Color usage in the short aligns with the era's stylistic preferences, using bold, flat tones to create visually appealing designs, that were enjoyed by all, even now. Backgrounds, similarly were functional and stylized providing just "enough" detail to sort of give an idea about the setting, as per the budget constraints the industry was facing. The cartoon was carried by timing, voice acting and storytelling.

The plot revolves around a hilarious rivalry between two "hyper- masculine" characters determined to one up each other in terms of strength and bravery. Each character's over the top attempts to prove their superiority leads to a series of comedic failures with clever visuals. It's a playful take on machismo, packed with the classic humour and energy of Warner Bros. cartoons.

At its core, the cartoon highlights the absurdity of inflated egos and the lengths individuals go to assert dominance. 7/10.

[stupendousnachoconnoisseur]

The Most Hilarious Complaints We've Heard About Nardi Dining Table

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[sentimental-darkness]

To anyone who is fan of Tolkien and likes Amazon series

OK, let’s say you’re able to watch it in complete seriousness and somehow you enjoy it, or maybe you’re even a huge fan of some of the things they did, doesn’t matter.

The point is Amazon is already in such despair and damage control that it’s hilarious and tale of the ages. So I really hope all of you can take note of the fact this was the most expensive budget in tv history and they were given 50 guaranteed episodes from the start so they didn’t really need to worry about time constraint and - theoretically - were able to create a very complex, well thought-through narrative without any restraints and fear of cancelation (there are many very creative showrunners out there who don’t get such privilege and their shows end up cancelled, sometimes for petty reasons).

So when you put the two together I hope you do realize that no matter what good or enjoyable parts you may find in it (or be swayed by, perhaps due to Tolkien content drought?) you won’t be making ANY excuses for this show and you won’t be trying to paint it as if Amazon did their best, as if there wasn’t anything more logical and more interesting they could come up with for their story. Because it could have been SO MUCH better, no matter what you think of it, it could have been better. I don’t mean perfect but VASTLY better and worth the money put into it... DO NOT FORGET, the most expensive series in history... and take it into account before you shower its creators in mostly undeserved praise.

Don’t fall for lower storytelling standards and badly articulated/justified changes, do not accept it as “standard of a good show.” Don’t play their advocate. Don’t play this “neutral, peaceful” dude who just wants to “stay positive” and be joyful about the show. Don’t become this blinded fangirl who can’t say a bad word about it because she loves the look of a character. Read the room and notice the gravity of the situation. Don’t fall for their “only racists dislike it” card and don’t be guilt tripped into praising it. Acknowledge their GRAND INSANE failure for what it is and let Amazon burn, let the panic spread. 

Maybe then we’ll finally get better standards in the future: like decency and some real warmth behind storytelling and lore accuracy, maybe standards will actually rise and we will reverse the trend. Because currently the standards are exceptionally low and it shows. 

[salmankhanholics]

★ Ashneer Grover recalls negotiating with Salman Khan for endorsement deal; Shares what actor's manager told him!

July 18, 2022

Ashneer Grover is a business and a former co-founder of managing director of Indian fintech company BharatPe. Ashneer became a household name after his stint in Shark Tank India, where he was one of the investors, generally called sharks on the show. The former MD of BharatPe narrated an incident to do with none other than the Sultan of Bollywood, Salman Khan. The incident Ashneer narrated was from 2019, when he approached Salman Khan to be the brand ambassador of his fintech company, which was still in the early stages of growth.

Ashneer narrated a hilarious yet insightful incident to do with Salman Khan, in front of students at Lovely Professional University. He started off by saying that for any business that involves the give and take of money, is a business of trust. With around Rs. 100 cr in his bank account, he had to run the entire business. To gain the trust of the prospective users and customers, he thought to make Salman Khan his brand ambassador. On asking Salman Khan’s manager about his endorsement fee, the manager quoted an amount of Rs. 7.5 cr. Ashneer thought to himself that apart form the endorsement fee, he would also have to spend on the ad shooting cost, publicity and more. As he had some budget constraints, he negotiated as much as he could, to have Salman as his company’s ambassador. After a few rounds of negotiation, they locked the deal at Rs. 4.5 cr. Ashneer also said that the way he negotiated, at one point, the manager asked him if he had come to purchase vegetables. Ashneer kept telling the manager that he really didn’t have the money. The company eventually became very big and peaked in the lockdown as most people started to transact digitally, to avoid physical contact.

[zalrb]

rewatch: gg edition

i really want to know that gossip girl’s budget was because they filmed in new york which is not cheap and i remember when jp spoke about gg going to france to film and paul was like W H A T.

LMAO remember when gossip girl blasted that serena was back in the city and right when the blast happened, dan and jenny walk into central station with dan NOT on his phone? is dan telekinetic?

dan’s hair is fucking stupid.

rufus don’t ask your children about the state of your marriage.

awww rihanna! if it’s lovin that you wanttttttttttt

lmao remember when blair had a different mother?

i never liked blair’s hair in these scenes.

oh nate, just so ... nate.

OMG JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. WHAT GOES AROUND. jesus, i need to stop watching these old shows. when is a docu going to come out about him being terrible?

“visiting hours are over” “i’m family!” i’m pretty sure you still have to adhere to visiting hours.

“eric, i know i’ve been a terrible sister ... i’m so happy to see you!” that’s it? that’s the conversation?

I HATE HIS HAIR.

dan actually parents rufus.

i just find it SO funny that nate gets mad at chuck for sleeping with blair.

initiumseries’ favourite part of the entire series, chuck and nate taking the bus, the ONLY time we see them take the bus, just so they could meet dan.

“there is something wrong with that level of perfection, it needs to be violated” ew, chuck.

the narration is KILLING me. this is so dated but in the best way.

LMAO dan’s face when jenny just goes “hi, serena!” is hilarious.

nate’s disdain for blair is so pronounced, lmfao.

“maybe i should swipe some of my dad’s viagara, or my mom’s paxil?” i guess they didn’t know they’d kill chuck’s mom yet.

“you ever feel like our whole lives are planned out for us?” i mean they showed that briefly with the dartmouth conversation and they mentioned that he and blair had been together since kindergarten but no one shows the constraints of the ultra-wealthy like kdramas and their chaebol heirs.

blair is wearing too much makeup.

dan and jenny were actually kind of endearing in the beginning.

“i love it when you talk dirty” ohhhh i didn’t realize he said this to serena first, kinda diminishes the chair scene for me tbh.

“i’ve been drinking on an empty stomach” “heard you didn’t do that anymore” ok but how tho? because she JUST got back, it’s been a day or maybe two, she doesn’t have blair as a friend yet, she hasn’t been to any parties or events where we see her NOT be who she was before so where is this coming from?

*sees blair in lingerie* “wow.” nate, the only person who sounded less enthused is stefan when he told caroline he loved her, lmao this is terrible. 

ugh, chuck is terrible. the sexual assault we never talk about.

leighton does cry well.

OMG SERENA REMEMBERS DAN WHEN HE THOUGHT SHE WOULDN’T SHE IS SO DEEP AND THOUGHTFUL.

aww rufly! cute banter.

dan why would you wear that to a concert?

awww broody nate.

chuck is such a creep in this episode.

“or will c end up with another victim” lol k.

“serena van der woodsen ... oh, i dunno how i know that” lol peak parent.

“this is a date? maybe i should’ve worn my loafers” “HAHAHAHAHA” it’s not that funny, serena.

“what, better offer?” aww derena had their moments.

remember when dan went to look for jenny and then simultaneously sent a blast that serena showed up to the party?

i like how serena said she’d look for jenny and she’s just standing in one place.

“did you invite her?” “NO, GOD” nate, she has every reason to ask that question.

“you son of a---” i guess they couldn’t swear now.

dan, your sister was assaulted and you’re flirting with serena.

jenny gets assaulted but the ending is about serena saving her from being assaulted, lol k.

[pink-grapefruit-cafe]

What has Bob said?

Bob’s general vibes in purse first impressions just annoy the shit out of me.

I love Bob - i think he’s hilarious and often, i think he’s correct but he also judges the queens like they’re american and it’s something that really rubs me the wrong way.

I know i’m sounding like a stuck record here so I’ll try and keep it brief but there’s a few main differences between UK and US drag.

1. Budget - because the culture isn’t so big here, queens very often will get paid £50 to do a gig somewhere - in america it can be hundreds.

This leads me to:

2. Clothes - there’s much more of a sew it yourself culture in the UK. I’m not saying that people don’t pay designers because the clearly do (look at Tia) but there’s still much more of a design and sew it yourself culture that, coupled with the budget constraints, means queens will look more home made.

And then there’s the biggie:

3. Culture - we’re simply not asking for drag queens to look like celebrities. Yes, polish is great, but as you’ve seen on DRUK there’s much less of an emphasis on fashion than there is comedy, dancing, singing, other things. Look at people like Tia, Ginny, even Joe to some extent. They’re what I would call quintessential British Drag and they’re maybe the least solid look queens of the season. I think a lot of americans look at Viv and think she is a quintessential brit - but honestly, as lush as she is, she’s Ru’s Brit.

She’s what Ru sees british drag as through his american eye - with its polish and its precision and yet just british enough.

I just think they’re judging us on the metrics with which they judge a whole different culture of drag. And I think they’re missing the point.

xoxo

grapefruit

(this is just one of my main problems with DRUK and rupaul (as he thinks he is the all knowing deity of drag) and i get a bit mad)

[theyilinglaozus]

Word of Honor spoilers for episode 29 onwards under cut:

Okay, so I know the last few episodes were hurried. I know there were budget constraints, so don’t get me wrong here. I truly understand that there are things that just haven’t been wrapped up because there just wasn’t the time available to do so, and that there are things that are being explained either.

But can I just say how hilarious I am finding it that no one seems to care that Zhou Zishu has likely literally killed Prince Jin or at the very least left him for dead?

When Zishu’s being tortured by Window of Heaven he’s like ‘oh I’m dying anyway so it’s okay if I die here, but if you kill me before I can help you save the Prince from what I’ve done ... well then I guess Prince Jin dies by your hand as much as mine’. He’s then saved by those still loyal to him and then later Wen Kexing and his Ghosts, goes back to the Four Season’s Manor where everyone just seems to randomly be and goes to recover and -

- no one comes looking for him to exact revenge??? No one asks what happened to the Prince??? No one even mentions if he’s alive or dead??? Even though so many of the Prince’s guards and Window of Heaven members were quick to take Zishu in as a prisoner after the attack???

It’s like ‘he’s no longer important to this story therefore you don’t need to remember him’ and I’m just sitting here being all ‘no???? Please tell me if he died because I kinda wanna know if Zishu killed his cousin / the person he gave so many years of his life in service to as an assassin? That seems like an important part for his character arc, as well as a closing on a chapter his past.

It’s not a big deal - maybe I’ll add it to the ficlets I want to write for WoH to fix a few gaps after I finish the series over the weekend. But I am just kind of laughing about how the plot moves on over this entire point without even someone say ‘oh did you hear Prince Jin is in a bad way’ or ‘hey heard the Prince died?’

Sorry Prince Jin but ((old man shrug)) guess you’ll die offscreen.

[impishglee]

Hmm... for the Reverse Unpopular Opinion meme... either gush about The Locked Tomb and/or I guess... for an actually more contentious thing... you've been doing SPN recently, right, so that?

i just got these both lmao but i have many thoughts on both so! some other stuff i didnt touch on in previous answers

locked tomb: tamsyn muir does a lot of really fun creative stuff w form and perspective, esp in harrow that im crazy about. i also love how despite being in a no homophobia universe, which like i enjoy! but usually dont find very relatable as a gay person for gay reasons, the lesbianism in locked tomb feels very dykey in a way i have almost never connected w in other books. esp bc taz knows butches are sexy lmao! the kind of things that the characters find attractive abt each other feel right to me. 

spn: i enjoy the weird fuckery spn had to do to write 22 episode serialized television. it creates a specific feel and a certain structure to the storytelling that we’re losing in the age of streaming and like. high budget fancy television. i think constraints like that breed fun tropes and creativity! also i love when spn does really stupid meta shit and also really stupid sacrilegious shit its hilarious. go ahead! shoot the biblical god with a gun! say that the biblical god is a deadbeat dad hack author! ok! 

[i-just-like-commenting]

“The Expanse” s5e6 thoughts

Well, the way they filmed Clarissa’s attack on the survivalist was…certainly a choice. Not one I would’ve made, thought it looked pretty unintentionally hilarious, but I don’t know their budgets and constraints, maybe the alternatives were worse.

That said I am really enjoying her story with Amos. They are solidly becoming a BroTP with me - like, I hope they don’t wind up a couple, but I kind of think they won’t because they’re both dealing with the exact same concerns. And Amos realizing he needs to get back to good influences in his life, like Holden, was a strong note to end on.

The Minister of Transportation becoming SG reminded me both of Battlestar Galactica (where it was Education IIRC) and of Pete Butigeig who is nominated for that position right now. I hope he’d have the good sense to go running to whoever our Avasarala is if something like this happened.

All the tension between Drummer and Inaros is just….aagh! And the fact that she clearly suspects something is up with Naomi has me very anxious about upcoming episodes because there wasn’t this element in the books so who knows what’s going to happen, right?

And yeah Inaros may have said it was a choice, but he wasn’t ever going to let them leave. The question is can the Polyam Belter Fam faction take over from Inaros before he gets them all killed?