#the bromance nobody asked for but everybody needed

[asktheritochampion]

...

You know, I never thought I'd say these words. But perhaps you do make a wise point, Kogha.

To Ganon with everyone who ever buried her. And let them burn.

Medoh may be a weapon out of war, but she is also a piece of art, a marvel of technology - and a kind soul. Even if there were people in this world that buried her away to try to forget everything she did for them- there were also those who remembered. The Yiga who continued to fight for her. The Sheika who wove tapestries of her beauty. The people who sung stories of her feats for millenia, long after she was gone.

Perhaps the world shall never appreciate damaged things, but so long as a few people still love them, that's enough - and they shall continue to live on and fight for those people, even if the rest of the world shuns them for it.

...I suppose it shall take more than a little cement to patch her up then, eh? I best get started on that.

Medoh does rather enjoy firing her cannons you know.

...Entirely off the records, and if you mention this to anyone I shall deny it. Would you care to assist me with brightening her day?

Purely from an engeneer standpoint, of course. There was a rockslide near the mountain caves the other day which I'm certain a few well placed blasts would clear out easily - two birds and one stone, in the literal and metaphorical sense. Of course, I'd have to give you a brief tour of her inner sanctums first; however it's rare she has a visitor who truely appreciates such bespoke and artfully created ancient architecture and groundbreaking feats of engeneering as I, so I am certain she will not object too much- so long as you ensure to voice your awe aloud for her to preen herself to.

Magnificent! What beautiful innards you have!

Oh, unclench you defense protocols sister, it's just me, @asktheyigamaster , you friend even wants me here.

What a deep humm of energy. You have mana tubes as thick as guardian gun barrels there, don't you? I heard all about them, but mmmmm.

Do a little rev! For meeee 👉👈? Don't even need to go flying, I just want to hear those cylinders!

Hi Champion.

You know, Medoh, one of the more petty reasons I want to kill these people is that I thought I will never get to see the inside of you lot. Yes, really! Guess I'm gonna have to become nicer now, MHEHE HAHAHA HA haaaaaaa

And look at all the detailing. You're a peace of art, not just a weapon. So much care and effort put into you! Not a single Sheikah child in all history has had as much parental love poured over them as you did.

And you look so new for 10 000 years underground! Yes, really!

......... Is that cement?

Yes Medoh, I don't like this situation much either. He shan't cause you any trouble though, I'll skewer him through the skull the second he tries anything. Just play along for now. Unfortunately for us, he is the most compitant in the topic of your engeneering - much as I hate to admit it.

Right, Kogha. You are aboard the greatest of all four Divine Beasts - the incredible and unmatched Vah Medoh. Take in her beauty and power, but heed my warning that should she suspect you're up to no good - even I won't be able to stop her from unleashing her defence protocals upon you. Our bond is strong, but she has a mind of her own - a very opinionated one.

...Yes that's cement. She had some...minor wear and tear from her hundred years of decay out in the weather under Ganon's control, I had to do what I could short term until enough sandstone can be located and aquired to perform some more aesthetic repairs. I didn't want any more damage to occur in the mean time as rainwater seeps into the cracks and freezes. Don't make her self concious about it - Vah Medoh is very proud of her appearence and it's a sensitive topic.

I shall show you the clunking noise that occurs when her cores are activated. Keep your hands to yourself and away from her controls while I do, or I'll chop them off. Got it?

[mobscene-awards]

2023 CATEGORIES:

To celebrate our 11th Anniversary, the awards are returning this March/April!

That means it’s time to start casting your initial votes. Please make sure to read the rules page here before doing so. The top four scorers from each category will move forward into the final round, where you will be able to vote for an overall winner. You can cast a ballot once as every single one of your characters, so get submitting! The closing date for initial voting will be announced via the updates tag (#2023awardsupdate) at some point.

The submission form is below. Whilst I think all the categories are pretty self explanatory, if you’re confused or need an example of who would be fitting, just send an ask to the main and I can help you make a decision.

Please only submit one name per category, otherwise the first will automatically be chosen and the second ignored. You must include one name for each category. No exceptions.

Most Handsome Man

Most Beautiful Woman

Most Respected

Most Intimidating

Biggest Villain

Biggest Dumbass

Biggest Ego

Biggest Sass Queen

Best Sense of Humour

Best Couple

Best Should-Be Couple (as in: please get together now)

Biggest Womanizer

Biggest Maneater

Biggest Heart

Biggest Simp

Most Heartless

Most Likely to be Arrested

Most Likely to be Assassinated

Most Likely to Backstab a Friend

Biggest Psycho

Biggest Train Wreck

Biggest Drug Addict

The Lost Cause

Most Missed Former Resident (deceased or moved away)

Most Successful Man

Most Successful Woman

Best Bromance

Best Hoemance (a bromance for ladies)

Best Female/Male friendship

Ideal Fight Club Match Up (can include female characters)

Problematic Fave

Baddest Bitch

Future Ruler of London (the person you think will eventually preside over the city)

Man of the Year

Woman of the Year

Family of the Year (no, the Turks are not eligible, trash) 

Extra Note:

Much in the same way as all the years before, we are also going to have three awards that you can vote for on the night. It isn’t compulsory to post an outfit before the event, but if you do, you become eligible to be voted for:

Best Dressed Woman

Best Dressed Man

Best Dates

PARTICIPATION:

As per request, this year Damon Rutherford will not be eligible for voting. Please do not include him in any of your ballots. Thank you Liz for reaching out and letting me know, I love and appreciate you. ♥ As nobody else did, I will assume that everybody else is happy to be included. You can vote for returning/temporary characters, but please try to refrain from voting for open roles. 

[steverogersbingo]

✨ STEVE ROGER BINGO’S ROUND UP - POST 1 ✨

Check out the fills our participants posted from the first month under the cut!

🎨 ART

heaven isn't in the sky (it's underwater) by agron T // Steve/Tony // Mermaids Summary: when steve went underwater he was discovered by three mermaid tony stark instead

Untitled by ABrighterDarkness G // Steve/Bucky // Alpine Summary: Steve and Bucky get distracted, Alpine enjoys every minute.

Space Stone by AriaFandom G // Gen // Moodboard Summary: Galaxy aesthetic for the space stone

Untitled by sanguineterrain G // Gen Summary: Magical, canon-divergent Steve

Untitled by call-me-kayyyyy G // Steve/Bucky // AU; Fantasy; Loin-cloths Summary: Steve and Bucky are elf's who ride their unicorns to check the perimeter.

Steve Rogers becomes Cernunnos by pinkybitesu T // Gen // AU Summary: Steve had always felt connected to the Earth. Becoming the God of the Forest, Cernunnos, made it all make sense.

"That Is America's Ass." by bleedxblack T // Steve/Bucky Summary: Steve Rogers straddles Bucky's waist with booty shorts that read "it ain't gonna spank himself".

📝 FIC

Clean Up These Bloody Fists by dontcallmebree E // 8,657 // Steve/Bucky // Shrunkyclunks; Mob AU Summary: Bucky can’t decide if Steve’s unendingly generous with his care for those around him, or if Bucky’s simply been lucky enough to scale the wall built up over decades, and had somehow proven himself worthy of the affection. Either way, he knows he’ll never take this for granted. Spend some time with Steve and Bucky this week in the perpetually fluffy ‘verse of Do The Things You Never Showed Nobody.

Scars by Kimberly T // 1,888 // Steve/Bucky // Post-CATWS Summary: The serum means that Steve can't scar anymore, though he's retained his pre-existing scarring. While in the hospital recovering from the fight on the helicarrier, Steve does a little introspection about this. It's bittersweet.

Without Regret by ABrighterDarkness E // 5,284 // Steve/Thor Summary: It had been a very long time since Steve had last felt like this. There was a buzz in his mind and tingling through his body. His movements were just slightly slower, clumsier and his were words spoken a little more loosely with a tongue that felt more weighty than it ought to. Even that, though, felt different than the last time that he’d had the opportunity to overindulge with a friend.

Love and Learning by ABrighterDarkness T // 7,746 // Steve/Natasha Summary: It reminded him, a little bit, of stepping into a machine seeing everything in varying shades of grey. Only to stumble out again into a world of color more vibrant than anything he could have possibly imagined. Overwhelming but entirely breathtaking and welcome.

Good by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier T // 1,062 // Steve/Bucky/Tony Summary: Steve returns to the compound and finds that the two men he loves, but never told his feelings to, are a couple now.

Lie to Me by Kit T // 2,102 // Steve/Bucky // Body Swap Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Steve and Natasha end up trapped in the others body. Instead of telling everybody, they make a bet. Who will be able to conceal their identity the longest?

Dream a Little Dream of Me by buckybleeds E // 5,719 // Steve/Bucky // Dub-con; Self-cest Summary: Steve goes back in time to comfort himself after Bucky fell and ends up having sex with himself. 

Pride by Kit T // 1,726 // Steve/Bucky Summary: Tony wants to take Steve to pride to watch him freak out. Natasha tags along to do damage control.

Take Care of You by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier M // 1,756 // Steve/Bucky // Daddy Kink; Age Difference; AU Summary: Steve has been so busy with his work as a commander at shield lately, that he has barely had time for his partner Bucky. Bucky’s worried his Daddy might not want him anymore and Steve has to rectify this by showing how much he loves his baby.

Love Has Left a Printed Trace by Girl_Back_There E // 1,726 // Steve/Bucky // Vampires; Dub-con Summary: Steve is obsessed with finding a mysterious figure named Winter in paintings throughout the years. James is a Vampire named Winter charged with keeping Vampires a secret from humanity.

with the weight of the world at the tips of my fingers by avintagekiss24 E // 4,420 // Steve/Reader // AU Summary: You and Steve share a morning in bed.

Always You by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier M // 1,691 // Steve/Bucky // AU Summary: After a year of traveling, Steve finally comes home and confesses his feelings to Bucky.

Stop the World by Rex E // 6,828 // Steve/Scott // AU Summary: When Steve got hired to entertain at Cassie Lang's thirteenth birthday party, he had thought it was going to be like every other kid's party he'd booked. He'd show up, play Captain America, get paid, and go home. He never quite gets to that last step, but to be fair, there was no way he could have anticipated the draw of Scott Lang.

Always by Rex G // 437 // Steve/Matt Murdock // Canon Divergence Summary: Even the Devil of Hell's Kitchen needs an angel from time to time. This one just happens to be from Brooklyn.

Glass by Rex M // 859 // Gen // Non-graphic torture; Implied non-con; Referenced suicide Summary: "We'll lose." "Then we'll do that together, too." Sokovia crashed, Ultron won, and he always had hated Tony the most.

We are already home by Bitters E // 4,948 // Steve/Bucky Summary: Steve carries an injured Bucky through a portal into…somewhere else? But they’re together, like they always have been, and that’s all that matters.

end of the line, time to go home. by moonythejedi394 M // 3,484 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence; Daddy Kink; Age Play/Regression Summary: Steve and Bucky always said they were together 'til the end of the line. But even they have to get off the train eventually. Everybody always figures, at the end of the line is... Y'know. The End. But actually, at the end of the line is happily ever after. It just took them a few decades and a couple suitcases of trauma to get there.

Not Technically A Bromance by dontcallmebree M // 8,657 // Steve/Bucky Summary: “A bromance?” Bruce asks, voice tinged with restrained laughter. “Yeah, we have one of those.” Steve glowers at Bruce, who’s patently laughing at him, eyes bright and twinkling with mirth. Bruce composes himself, biting at his bottom lip. “And you’ve had sex how many times?” (Inspired by that tweet, you know the one.)

At the Top of My Lungs by ralsbecket T // 1,646 // Steve/Tony Summary: Two months had passed since Tony had lost his life; since they had laid him to rest six feet under. It was two months of trying to keep his world from further falling apart, and it wasn’t really working in his favor. So, no. No, he wasn’t okay.

Thor’s Art Class for the Heroes of Midgard by WinterSabbath T // 6,338 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: In which Thor makes it his mission to help mend the broken, cold relationship between Steven and James through the only way he can think of: Art class. As a bonus, he also helps the team loosen up.

So Let It Happen by Bitters E // 2,287 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: Steve comes home from a tough mission and needs to get out of his head. His husband and retired Avenger is only too happy to help him with this.

Made of Glass (The Way You See Through Me) by ralsbecket T // 1,132 // Steve/Tony // AU Summary: Steve wasn’t sure what came over him when the model walked out from the back room, wearing a robe; from the moment his eyes landed on his face, he was just… awestruck. Dark hair, bright eyes, full lips. He was fucking beautiful. Or, the one where Tony is the model in Steve's life-drawing class.

for your cooperation by xceru E // 3,145 // Steve/Nat // Canon Divergence Summary: Hydra kidnaps Natasha on a routine mission in Cairo. When Steve finds her, Natasha decides that it's his turn to play prisoner.

my heart in the still winter air by xceru E // 11,887 // Steve/Bucky/Nat // Canon Divergence Summary: “He will,” Steve says, and suddenly Natasha understands. This is the man that Steve altered his heart for, the one he thought only the serum could love. But now Steve knows better—he knows he’s bisexual—he knows his love is real, and the man that it belongs to is undead.

Won't Let Go by afalsebravado E // 2,358 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: Steve is on the hunt for the Winter Sold-- Bucky. He's on the hunt for Bucky when the leads dry up and he heads home to regroup. But a package from Tony Stark arrives on his doorstep and makes him re-evaluate old promises.

The Truth of Who I Am by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier T // 1,203 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: Steve Rogers is not a cis straight man and he is tired of people erasing that and other parts of his identity so he fits into the image they already had of him.

Bruise of a Rose by marvelousmoons G // 1,710 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: It’s moments like this that get under his skin the most. The way Steve can just… be Steve. Be dramatic and give Bucky the cold shoulder for simply caring. But Bucky was stronger. He could play Steve’s game. He wouldn’t cave, no. He would sit and wait for the silence to overwhelm Steve first.

... And all I got was this lousy t-shirt by RainbowNerds M // 3,126 // Steve/Bucky // AU Summary: A month ago, Steve had the best sex of his life with a guy he met in a bar, and went home with the most hideous shirt he'd ever seen but no phone number. Enter his new roommate, Becca. The two instances are not connected, right?

Love you too, jerk by WinterRaven G // 636 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence; Fanart included Summary: Steve makes breakfast for Bucky and their 'kids' help him wake up his husband.

[lonbergwrites]

The Gross, The Bad, and The Unforgivable

A review of Undercover Bromance by Lyssa Kay Adams

 Let me start off by saying that this book has an instance of what clearly seems like sexual assault, wrapped up in a gloss of romance. Skip down to the “The Unforgivable” section for that information.

----

Normally, I don’t rate and review any books that I read for fear of poisoning the memory well. Normally, I wouldn’t rate and review a romance novel in particular, because it isn’t a genre with which I have much experience, nor is it one I have much love for. But the title and the fact that it showed up on a list of good romance novels for men from a source I trust made me pick it up in the first place. I’ve been trying to get deeper into the Writing Community online, and so many writers there are romance authors – and romance is such a popular genre generally – that I wanted to familiarize myself with the genre as I work on my own writing...

I’m making an exception to rating and reviewing this book because there were some truly, deeply problematic things going on here, on top of the bad/schlocky writing, and the gross descriptions so prevalent in my mind’s limited knowledge of what’s bad in the romance genre. So, in the following review I’m going to justify my one star rating of this book by describing The Gross [broadly, the terribly stomach-turning descriptions, characters, and plot points in this book], The Bad [the technical problems – especially in the plot], and The Unforgivable [the glossed-over sexual assault].

----

The Gross:

I’m going to jump right in on the most obvious issue I have with (my own idea of) romance novels: the sex scenes. But this isn’t going to be what you think it is; I am not a prude. Nothing turns my stomach faster than euphemistic language about body parts. “Her sex” is bad enough. This book also talked about running his fingers along “her slit.” But the description that almost made me hurl was “her pink bits.” Nope. Vomit. Say vulva. There is nothing gross about that word. A good sex scene is hard to write, and you don’t need to go full-on erotica (though honestly, I think hardcore erotica is far more enjoyable to read, more real, and sexier than the euphemistic stuff), but why have a very descriptive scene only to censor over the words everybody is paying their good money to read? Pick a lane. Give me actual adult sexual content, or have everything fade to black. Please?

I looked at a bunch of the reviews of this book, astounded as I was that it was so highly rated. Where language was used as a fault, the line “my vagina senses are tingling” was often cited. Cited as gross and crass. Sorry, this was a line I found truly funny and endearing, used as it was by a female character who was grossed out by the villain of the story, a serial sexual predator. To me, it was a great Spiderman reference, and an honest thing for a woman to say. I’ve heard such comments from female friends before. Seeing this comment from the romance reading community really saddens me, because not liking an honest use of body parts, but championing “pink parts” is only fueling the female body shaming that is so prevalent in our society.

“Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a happy ever after to start” is the line that ends the bulk of the novel, before the epilogue. Once you’ve scraped the vomit out of your mouth, there’s also the ending of the epilogue, where after the main character “proposes” off-handedly on the couch, they have sex, and then he asks her if that was a yes, and she confirms it, the narration says, “after she said yes he did things that made her say it a whole bunch of times naked.” Then they fist-bumped. End of novel. Yeah… Did I mention they’d only known each other for a little more than six months at this point? Yea, I think that’s kind of fast…

But romance novels are stereotypically bad in this department according to me, who knows little to nothing about them. What other gross stuff happened in this book? Let’s start with the male lead, Mack, who winks at everything in a skirt. There are paragraphs where he literally winks at the woman he’s talking to three times within said paragraph. She’s always super charmed. This is supposed to be endearing behavior. Then there are a whole chapter where the sex the characters are having is compared to the national anthem – wanting to sing it, wanting to wave a flag, saluting this with that appendage. Barf barf barf.

I could go on, but this book isn’t for me, really. I’ll just close with a line I really did like from the book: “Smells like a camel exhibit in here.” This line is said by the bros when they come in to rescue Mack from his depression on losing the girl, and they find him in squalor. This book could broadly be described as smelling like a camel exhibit.

 The Bad:

The biggest plot error I found in this book happened near the end. A group of the team is running to meet the “inside guy” who will distribute the dossier on the villain to the press as they march in to his book launch. They get there to find their inside guy knocked out, and another security guy holding the dossiers they were literally carrying to the meeting (he knocked him out to take them away, even though he didn’t know what was in them – not to mention that they weren’t actually there in the first place). Terrible editing!

There are other things – characters switching their mind on something deeply held from paragraph to paragraph, a convoluted plan to expose the sexual predator at his own event, and thinking that’s the only way to take the guy down, when in real life a reporter will take information at any time, not just when tricked into it. But it is the real lack of understanding of the human character that really bugged me.

The secret that Mack is carrying with him is that his father was abusive and murdered somebody, and is in jail. Mack changed his name out of embarrassment, and lies and tells people his father is dead. He is made into the villain towards the end of the book, because he “lied” to Liv, his love interest, about this. They had known each other for some time longer than a week and shorter than a month. They were not dating (she was adamant about that), and had slept together just twice. But he was a liar now, because he had a “secret identity” and lied about his father. People just accepted that that was a terrible thing to do. No! If that’s your past, it is yours, and you don’t owe that information to anybody that early in a relationship. Sure, you need to own up to it before you talk marriage, but not before you’ve started dating. This doesn’t have anything to do with his character, but his father’s. Shaming him for “not being honest” and having him have to come to terms with it, and be open about it publically, is just *not* something that he has to do. Weird morality here. I know it was stretched to add drama, but I think it does a disservice to his great trauma in life.

I don’t believe a group of people should take matters into their own hands to investigate a person on sexual harassment on behalf of other women. I don’t think they need to use their friend’s van (literally an FBI-style surveillance van that nobody seems to think it is weird that a friend just has – a van that never plays an important role except that it doesn’t drive fast). I also don’t think a former cop is going to play along in a game of entrapment with a bunch of youngsters out for the thrill of taking down a celebrity chef. I especially don’t think people are going to trust the “inside guy” who is the security guard for the big bad. There is absolutely nothing that any characters do (aside from taping the bad guy) that moves the plot forward. It is all them falling into luck or information that others provide. Everything happens to them. This is just not the makings of a well-written book.

The characters were also so bland and uniform, with the exception of “The Russian” who was all caricature and comic relief, and whose lactose intolerance goes into play when they almost got caught because of the smell of his fart while they were hiding. Hilarious? No. So juvenile. And also, it was from vegan cheese, which the author says “is still cheese” and thus causes him the same problem as cheese. Speaking as a chef, that’s not how lactose intolerance works.

And, can I quickly gripe about the fact that the tech whiz who can break into a computer in 2 minutes, take out the contents of said computer in 30 seconds, breaks down all the banking info in an hour to tie the sexual predator to dozens of victims financially, also says he will be unable to edit a video (literally cut it off at all), in the hour they have during a drive, so by showing the big bad to be the big bad, they will also expose Mack’s terrible history and show him too to be a liar? Remember, this is literally exposing that his dad was a bad guy… again, not seeing the problem for Mack (as if that would kill his reputation)… but also: press stop on the tape? In an hour I, a complete novice, could learn to edit video enough to be able to stop a video when I wanted it to stop. The drama was unnecessary, and the mechanism to achieve it is so utterly stupid.

I also don’t love the fact that it takes a group of men to save women who were the victims of sexual assault. I also don’t love the message that women have to be a certain way when it comes to coming forward (even though they try to say otherwise, it was very moralistic against anybody being quiet). I very much don’t love the fact that they called the sexual predator – who honestly had unwanted, forced sexual relations with many women – a mere “sexual harasser.”

 The Unforgiveable:

Let’s talk about consent. The second time the main characters have sex, Liv expressly says ‘hey, I haven’t given you consent to have sex again.’ He then says that fingering her isn’t sex. Then proceeds to finger her. Then grabs her, carries her to a bed insider her own house, and then has sex with her. Without actually obtaining consent. This isn’t even an instance of tacit consent, because both parties are acting in a certain way and advancing the same act. She literally denied him consent by saying he didn’t have it, and that was never cleared up. Even if she never said no again, that’s pretty terrible for him to just assume.

Also: this happened immediately after he just shows up at her house. They had had sex once. She said she’d call after 3 days. He comes over after two, not calling specifically because he said that she’d have probably said no to his coming over. It was dark, she thought he was an intruder. She hit him with a shoe. She has to apologize to him for hitting him, and clean him up. Hey. In my mind, this dude is a psycho at this point. If you don’t buy into the 3 days before a call, fine. But then you pick up the phone. Don’t just show up at a near-stranger’s house. Don’t do it at night. Don’t sneak up the stairs. And don’t get mad when she’d mad because you acted like a psycho. And then most certainly, listen to her when she says that you don’t have consent to have sex with her again, and go on fingering her immediately thereafter.

 This book is bad on a lot of levels, but the sexual assault scene tarted up to look romantic just made me seethe inside, especially because this whole book attempted to be a “bros don’t let bros sexually assault women” morality tale.

Rating: 1 very dim star of 5

[mst3kproject]

815: Agent for HARM

I fear I am among the minority who really don’t find the host segments in this episode funny.  They’re kind of tedious and frustrating, really – though I do smile at Crow being a character witness – and when the time came to re-watch the episode in preparation for this review, I actually skipped them and got straight to the movie. It’s pretty drab, too.

Dr. Jan Stefanik defects from… somewhere or other, and moves to California to do… some kind of research.  When his assistant Henry suddenly dissolves into a mess of green goo, spy organization HARM decides Stefanik needs a full investigation and sends Agent Adam Chance, a guy who dresses like Mr. Rogers and still manages to sleep with every woman he meets. Stefanik explains to Chance that his country has new and terrible tool of destruction: an alien Spore that reproduces by feeding on human flesh.  That’s right, they’ve weaponized the space mummy fungus from Being from Another Planet!  The movies are coming together into a single, mud-clear, incoherent whole, again!

Y’know, Secret Agent Super Dragon and Danger!! Death Ray weren’t very good, but they could legitimately claim to globe-trotting adventures.  Super Dragon took us to Amsterdam, and Death Ray at least mentioned Rome and Barcelona.  In Agent for HARM we see one beach and a motel in Mexico.  The whole movie seems to be in pastels, which aren’t really urgent colours, and something about the pacing is off.  No matter what the movie tries to tell us, it just never feels like we’re in any sort of a hurry.

It’s not without legitimate entertainment value.  The music’s not bad – it isn’t totally forgettable, but also not as obnoxiously memorable as the theme from Danger!! Death Ray.  The Spore itself is a scary idea and the makeup that represents it is actually pretty good.  I especially like the impression you get that there’s a dark, hollow cavity underneath the foaming fungus, as if the victim’s face is about to collapse.  The improbably complete eyeball in Dr. Stefanik’s sample is entertainingly gross, and I like the glimpse of his lab animals that hint at what his work actually entails.

I’m sure the thing everybody remembers best about Agent for HARM, though, is Dr. Stefanik’s niece Ava. She’s cute and blonde and spends most of the movie running around in tiny little bikinis, and she works for the bad guys because of course she fucking does.  This plot point is so obvious to anybody who’s ever seen a movie in their lives that I’m not sure why the writers bothered establishing it.  The beautiful woman in a spy movie is always working for the bad guys.

I really would have liked to see way more of the relationship between Stefanik and Ava.  Actually seeing them interact at any length might have helped to dispense with the creepy vibe we get from their age gap, her habit of wandering around in nothing but a tiny swimsuit, and Stefanik’s wistful commentary on how close they’ve become.  It’s easy to see why Mike and the bots made some jokes about incest.  Some character development here might also have suggested why Stefanik trusts her, when he surely must have suspected her of spying when she first showed up.  The interactions we see make her look so damn suspicious that if she’d turned out to be genuine, Dr. Stefanik’s actual niece who really does want to help him, it would have been a shocking twist!

What would not have been a shocking twist would be if she turned out to be a robot.  Barbara Bouchet wears so much makeup she looks like she’s made of plastic (or maybe that’s just her face – she looked exactly the same as Moneypenny in Casino Royale and Maria in Black Belly of the Tarantula… man, I’ve seen a lot of terrible movies) and for some reason her hair looks fake.  She moves kind of robotically, too, and the first time I watched the movie I was thinking about the comparison well before Chance declares ‘she’s a machine’.  He may have been more right than he knew.

What’s somewhat mysterious is when, exactly, Chance figured out Ava was a spy.  His drunken boss asks him, but doesn’t receive a straight answer, and when you watch the movie a second time you can’t help but try to figure it out.  Was it when she blatantly tried to distract him by inviting him to go swimming with her, and he said you’re not fooling anyone, Angel?  But if so, why does he later save her when the guy who looks like Prince threatens her, if he already knew it was a ruse?  Is it so she wouldn’t know that he knew?  Was it when he realized the gun she’d given him wasn’t loaded?

I actually lean towards the latter incident as the moment of revelation, because it’s the one he references when he has her arrested. That also explains why he doesn’t give his boss a straight answer – he’s ashamed it took him that long.

The love story in this movie isn’t between Chance and Ava – or Chance and Karate Girl, or Chance and Beehive Secretary – anyway.  It’s the bromance between Chance and Dr. Stefanik.

The two of them start off deeply suspicious of each other. Chance has been sent to keep an eye on Stefanik and he’s quite worried that the scientist may be some kind of spy himself.  Chance threatens him with both death and deportation.  Stefanik, meanwhile, is a man whose main flaw is that he trusts too easily, and he has learned the hard lesson that people who deal in the fate of nations do not make good friends.  He fears the Americans may try to use Spore as a weapon just as his own people did.  The one person he trusts is Ava, and only because she’s family – and boy, did that backfire on him – and even she is not allowed full access to his work on an antidote.

By the end of the movie, Chance and Stefanik come to trust each other totally, and are good friends to such a degree that their separation, reunion, and the reveal of Stefanik’s death plays out like a romantic tragedy.  The captured Stefanik stares at the horizon, waiting for Chance to come for him.  When they reunite, Chance wants to touch Stefanik despite knowing that the stuff in the bags, with which Stefanik is now covered, is deadly.  When told Stefanik is dead, Chance denies it over and over until the proof is staring him in the face.  If one or other of them were a woman, nobody would question that any of this is meant to be romantic, and they’re certainly closer in age than either of these gray-haired men is to twenty-two-year-old Ava.

This is two episodes in a row where I’ve talked about the homosexual undertones.  Do I just have my tumblr goggles on, or are the movies actually that gay?

A certain number of things about this film become a little clearer when you know that it, like Stranded in Space, was intended as a pilot for a TV series.  That’s why there’s not much for locations – they had to keep the budget down so as not to scare the investors.  That’s why they bring up the cancelled date with the Beehive Secretary – perhaps she was supposed to be a regular love interest.  It explains why not just the villains but the good guy of this particular story – Stefanik – must be dead at the end, because the main character can’t form long-lasting attachments that might carry into future episodes when the actors are guest stars who might not be able to come back. Maybe that’s also why Stefanik’s antidote to the fungus also didn’t work, because they were going to use Spore itself as an ongoing plot point.

Spore is an interesting and scary choice of weapon, probably the most interesting thing in the movie, and it’s possibly a metaphor for how communism was perceived in the 50’s and 60’s – as a disease that consumed societies from the inside.  We saw an example of this in It Conquered the World, when Beulah implanted mind control devices in its victims, infecting them with its poisonous view of progress.  The people in Stranded in Space thought Stryker was the one with the thought disease, here to infect their planet.  Now here in Agent for HARM, we have Spore, which enters the human body and turns it into something unthinking and alien, just as Beulah did.  Also like Beulah’s victims, who had to be killed because they could not be cured, once it has started there is no way to stop it.

Ava the ‘machine’ and the compassionless bad guy Malko also fit into this way of thinking.  Their politics have transformed them into things as unthinking and alien as the fungus. When Chance writes the words Jan Stefanik, Human Being on the toe tag, he is emphasizing that Stefanik had succumbed to a disease of the body but not to this disease of the mind.  Yet Chance’s boss reminds him, and Chance agrees, that they, too, are machines – Chance has, after all, coldly murdered several of Malko’s henchmen.  In order to fight these unfeeling enemies, he has had to cultivate a lack of feeling in himself.  Perhaps he emphasizes Stefanik’s humanity partly because he doesn’t feel quite human anymore.

Agent for HARM is okay, but it’s not great.  There’s some interesting ideas in it, under-used, and a number of those glamorous secret agent tropes, over-used.  It certainly doesn’t come near toppling Danger!! Death Ray as MST3K’s best secret agent movie – it’s just too forgettable.

[jbuffyangel]

The Weekly Rundown (10/07/18-10/13/18)

Sorry so late! I’m getting caught up on articles. Almost there :) Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead!

God Friended Me (”The Good Samaritan”)

Confession time: I didn’t pay very close attention to this week’s episode, but Miles and Cara continue to be adorable. Pretty sure I ship it.

Manifest (”Turbulence”)

I’m not really feeling the chemistry between Josh Dallas and Athena Karkanis. However, the chemistry between  Melissa Roxburgh and JR Ramirez is smoldering.

Josh Dallas is my blue eye baby who makes me feel all the things. He conveyed so many emotions without saying a word in the scene where Ben and Grace discussed the man in her life. WOW!    

I want to believe Grace is in love with Ben and not Danny (because it's Josh Dallas and that's all the reason she needs), but I'm not buying it... yet

The whole twins being different ages is a never ending mind bender.

Seriously though what did Ben do for a living?

The Gifted (“coMplications”)

All I want is for Marcos to hold Dawn forever and snuggle with Lorna. Why can’t I have the things that I want?

But seriously though these Marcos and baby scenes are killing me.

Marcos fighting the Frost sister’s mind control was amazing. He was ready to tear everything apart to get his Lorna and his baby. SO HOT.

Andy, buddy what are you doing? Sure, they gave you a better hair cut and cool clothes, but Reeva is crazy. Tell me you know that boy!

I’m having trouble understanding why Reed didn’t want to tell his wife and daughter his powers were coming back. He has two mutant children! They tried to equate Lauren’s fear of “coming out” to Reed’s but it’s just not the same. He was her parent and he hunted mutants. She legitimately feared her father’s rejection. Reed isn’t in the same situation at all and I see no reason to for him to be lying to everyone for months.

Kate hugs Reed once he tells her the truth, which is nice, but were we really expecting her to reject him? Did the writers forget they have two mutant children?

The Gifted blew past all the build up to Clarice and John’s relationship and now they’ve sewn the seeds for the break up - in the third episode. This whole “Clarice is a spy for the Erg and lies to John about it” storyline is only going one place. John is doing his fair share of lying and pushing Clarice away. Needless to say I am unhappy with how this relationship is being handled.

F.B.I. (“Green Birds” and  “Prey”)

Finally got caught up on F.B.I. I thought “Prey” was a much stronger episode than “Green Birds.” 

I am so glad they cast Sela Ward! I love her. Her character is much more likable as Maggie and Omar’s boss.

I’m here for Omar doing hot things because Omar is hot. I feel warm every time he talks about his military experience. 

Still a little iffy about this show, but I’ll stick with it for now.

This Is Us (Katie Girls)

The depth of my hate for Jack's father knows no bounds.

"Or you can stay and I'll kill him." Honestly, I was okay with that option too Jack.

Randall is a mess watching his brother's movie and I stan this bromance so hard.

I am really freaking glad Randall is taking Kate on because I AM SO MAD AT HER.

Well that conversation swerved quickly. Stay on point Randall.

Okay well now we're off on a whole other thing and Kate is crying. Good grief children.

Not sure how Randall & Kate's discussion became a fight about adoption. The point was to discuss Kate's insensitivity regarding her remark about being the only person able to pass on Jack's genes. How did she turn it into Randall's insensitivity about her miscarriage?

Beth, Miguel and Toby having a group text to discuss their messed up in laws is AMAZING.

Randall is terrible at apologizing but also WHY IS HE APOLOGIZING?

I'm trying to hang with my girl Kate here. I've had a miscarriage and it's devastating, but your personal pain is not an excuse to be hurtful to others. Understanding where Randall was coming from was not a long bridge to cross.

I am so relating to Kevin putting the pieces together regarding Jack's service.

Beth got fired? NOOOOOO. My Beth!  

Toby's reaction to Randall showing up was gold.

KATE AND JACK ARE DREAM SEQUENCING AND I AM NOT OKAY. Btw Jack could you advise Kate to stop being such a jackass to Randall? Thanks bro.

Awkward Rebecca and Jack is the worst. You are soul mates kids. Get it together.  

Jack wants to marry you Rebecca and have lots and lots of babies. You are his dream.

I hope Randall and Beth have 9 months of savings. Suze Orman says you need 9 months of savings.

Marriage is never 50/50. But I think Beth and Randall have been going 90/10 for awhile and it's time for that ratio to shift.

I love how the writers find commonality in their characters in ways you never thought of before. Randall and Toby sharing their struggles with depression and anxiety was such a beautiful way to bond these characters

Kate wanted to marry Mark Paul Gosselar. Same girl.

"You came across the country to say you are sorry. That's the most Dad move ever." HELLO KATE. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. You could have added that he didn't need to apologize and you are the one who is sorry but I don't want to editorialize too much. Carry on.)

Rebecca pulled a Jack Pearson on Jack Pearson. EPIC.

Marry you the man who does dishes. 

A Million Little Things (”Save The Date”)

HOLY. FREAKING. CRAP. THEY. ALL. FOUND. OUT. That was fast y’all! Wow!

If we’re blowing past the big affair secret does that mean we’ll find out the reason John killed himself? It’s an annoying mystery. Cough up the answers, show.

All the awards to Grace Park. She’s been sadly under utilized on this show until now and boy did she come out swinging. The scenes where she confronts Eddie and Delilah were amazing. 

I cheered when Grace slapped Eddie. I have no sympathy for him. He’s cheating because his wife is gone at work all the time? It’s called a mortgage jackass. Guitar lessons aren’t going to get it done. 

It irritates me when people act like they have no choice in who they sleep with. Eddie is walking around like falling in love with Delilah was an accident. Listen pal you are a grown ass man. You made choices. Own it. Cheating is such a mean thing to do.  Nobody is forcing anyone to stay in these marriages. Get a divorce before you go hopping into bed with someone else.

I’m only slightly less angry with Delilah but that’s only because her husband jumped off a building. Her scene where she screams to friends to ask if she was the reason John killed himself was gutting. Guit is a bitch.

By the way, even if Jon made his peace with the affair it doesn’t make the affair okay. Also, nobody asked for Katherine’s opinon. Pretty sure she’d tell everyone where to stick if if they’d did though.

I feel like Gary is representing the audience in this episode, i.e. me. I don’t think the writers needed to muddy the water with Gary’s issues with marriage, his parents divorce and his birthday. I understand Jon and Delilah were his shining example of marriage bliss, but we didn’t need to make this about his childhood trauma. His anger was warranted by itself. Delilah and Eddie did an awful thing.

We need to move it along with Maggie’s storyline. She’s the friends-with-benefit-rando-friend-everyone-just-met-but-pretend-like-they’ve-known-her-since-always. Her impermanence in all of these people’s lives makes the level she’s included in things... odd. Let’s get the cancer out in the open and solidify her relationships - particularly with Gary. 

Blindspot (“Hella Duplicitous”)

Jane's hair is long. That's how ya know she's evil again

Seriously how do they not know Remi is back? She's so cranky. Jane is much more cheerful. Also, I feel like her voice is three octaves lower.

Remi can fight with samurai swords. Who knew? A list of all of her skills would be great.

Do I call her Remi or Jane y'all? I'm going with Remi for now.

Remi's impression of Jane being worried about Kurt was pretty spot on. Well played evil one.

Anyone else enjoying Remi looking all murdery every time anyone mentions Roman is dead? Same girl. Except I'm sad Luke Mitchell isn't on the show anymore not murdery because that'd be weird.

Jane's dying except she's Remi so like that's a double dose of suck.

Oh score. Cure. This is like Elena being vampire. They'll fix it. I ain't worried. Imma gonna get Jeller babies. Or should I say PLEEEEEEEEEASE give me Jeller babies.

OH MY GOD SHE'S HALLUCINATING ROMAN. Luke Mitchell IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so here for Roman being the crazy voice in Jane/Remi's head.

Sorry Remi. Your super evil terrorist group is canceled. Sorry not sorry girl. Watch Season 1-Season 3 and catch up girl.

Two Sandstorm operatives is more like a club than a terrorist group, but okay Remi. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

It's weird that the cure is re-erasing Remi's memories but also let's re-erase Remi's memories. I ain't a fan.

Damn. Blake is dead? That... was unexpected. Okay so now I'm imagining that Blake and Roman are happy in heaven together. Leave me to my dream.

Kurt is scared... I love you my cupcake.

Wiping her memory and meeting Kurt Weller was the best thing that ever happened to Remi because she's not nice and Jane is awesome. Kudos to Blindspot for reinforcing their central love story while also wreaking absolute havoc on it.

Is Zapata evil now? Is everybody evil now?

Weitz is director. Ugh.

"You can't keep watching me all the time." Girl, he does that when you are totally healthy. Kurt Weller giving Jane fuzzy bunny stares is the show. Seriously, someone show Remi S1-S3.

Haha. She squeezed Kurt too hard to hurt him. What a bitch. Also awesome.

Zapata's smile when she sees Reade on TV. Girl go home.

Rich and Patterson are gonna cure Jane using Santa magic and it's gonna be friggin awesome.

Reciting the wedding video is creepy Remi.

Noooo.... don't break out Mama Shepherd. She be crazier than you Remi and at this point that's saying A LOT. 

[nellie-elizabeth]

Suits: Right-Hand Man (8x01)

I miss Mike so much. This is gonna be rough, guys. I'm going to be honest, here - Mike and Harvey's relationship was about 90% of why I watched this show. And if I'm being even more honest, Gina Torres was most of the other 10%. Now that I've lost that, I'm not sure what's left. But I'm not a quitter - I'll commit myself to Season Eight of Suits, at the very least. If this show gets renewed again, I might be hanging up my hat at the end of Season Eight. But my heart is open to the possibilities. Let's talk about this.

Cons:

Katherine Heigl. It's a little hard for me to evaluate her without taking into account everything I know about her as a person. The rumors are rampant - she's a diva. And this character? Well, thus far Samantha Wheeler seems... fine? Kind of generic? She's a bad-ass woman that doesn't take shit from anyone and is loyal to Robert Zane. I think about the other women in this show, though, and I just don't know what she adds. We had Rachel, who was this kind, gentle, compassionate person who didn't fall in to the cliches of the "professional" woman who has to be cold to get to the top. You have Katrina, who wants to be that cold professional woman, but has a problem with her confidence. You have Donna, the sassy assistant-turned-COO character. What is Samantha going to be? I'm not saying I dislike her, but I certainly wasn't grabbed by her in week one. She seemed pretty unoriginal to me.

I know this show is ridiculously unrealistic all of the time when it comes to how a law firm would actually operate, and usually I'd be fine with that. But it's driving me crazy that everyone is throwing around the promise of name partner as an incentive. There's no way this firm survives so many name changes in the past few years. Let things settle down with Zane Specter Litt for like a SECOND before you start talking about Alex and Samantha getting tossed up on the wall. It's just silly, and it feels like an increasingly contrived way to get the drama going.

Oh, also - did I mention that I miss Mike? A lot? Like, a lot, a lot? I seriously don't know how I'm going to get through this season. It'll be too sad if they don't drop hints that Mike and Harvey are still in touch. Just an occasional one-sided phone conversation would be cool with me. Just... something. PLEASE.

Pros:

Okay. So in order to keep going with this show, sans the epic bromance, I'm going to have to let go of some old grudges against Louis Litt, and accept him into my heart. They did a pretty good job of showing his growth last season, and even if I still get twitchy when I think about him hurting Mike, I'm choosing to forgive and forget. Truth is, the stuff with Louis and Katrina in this episode was by far the most interesting thing going on here. Katrina deciding which associates to fire, Louis getting pissed when Brian gets thrown into the mix, Donna stepping in to help smooth things over... it was all golden.

See, one thing that happens sometimes with Donna is that she steps in to espouse her "wisdom," and it feels pointless, like she's just saying what everybody already knows, but in a sassy, witty way. This time, when she stepped in and explained Brian's value to the firm, she really taught Katrina something, and helped smooth the tension between Katrina and Louis. It was a shining moment for her in this season premiere. I like the fact that Donna acknowledges her role as a "supporting player," and says how important that can be. It was a good way to frame this conversation.

Katrina is one of those surprise characters - I certainly didn't think much of her when she first showed up on the scene years ago, but now I really like her. She's funny and she really gets Louis in a way maybe nobody else does. Harvey had something special with Mike (*sob*), and Louis gets to have that special partner-associate bond with Katrina. I think that's something he really needs, and I'm glad he gets to have it. Also, their comic relief is just too good. Katrina telling Louis that she cares for him deeply in a completely asexual way, and Louis' response that he cares for Katrina and sees her as neither man nor woman? That's freakin' hilarious. Those two are so weird, and I'm all for it.

While the jury is still out on Samantha, I am excited to see Alex get some more screen-time. I don't have a problem with him as a character, but thus far he hasn't really clicked in for me as someone particularly interesting. He feels a little generic. But I like the camaraderie between him and Harvey, and I like the way that he and Louis seem to have reached a peaceful relationship at last. I think he could be a really interesting piece of the puzzle, so I'm excited to see how that works. I've got to say, for all that this show lost three of its original cast members last season (including Jessica), the show doesn't feel empty. They did a smart thing elevating existing players like Alex, Katrina, and Robert to the front lines, so that only Samantha comes in as a completely fresh face.

There is something else I'm kind of excited about for this season, and that's the Robert and Harvey relationship. I've got to say, for all his bluster, Robert Zane is an incredibly understanding and patient guy. Dude has been through some shit over the years because of Harvey Specter, Mike Ross, and frankly the whole gang over at their firm. I think it only makes sense for him to be managing partner, and I'm glad that Harvey saw it that way too, with a little assistance from Donna. I can't wait to see these two butt heads, but keep it professional all at the same time.

Lastly, let me do a legacy "Mike and Harvey" corner... I always used to save the two of them for last in my reviews because they're my favorite part. We did get a little bit of content about them, as Donna shows Robert a picture that Rachel left of the newlyweds for Robert to decorate his new office. We also have Donna asking Harvey if maybe he's being a little touchy because he's reacting to Mike leaving. This is one of those "no duh" moments that Donna sometimes has, but I appreciated the fact that Harvey didn't brush her off or get defensive. He's not interested in lying about the fact that he's going to miss Mike. That's a given.

And I'm going to miss him toooo! So much! Literally I wish this show had just ended. But that doesn't mean there's nothing to enjoy... I guess. I'll keep plugging away, and I'll have my eagle eyes out for any little tidbits of Mike Ross that they choose to give us.

7/10

[taejinchronicles]

Did u see the latest vlive? Jin wasn’t there and tae looked so down...he hardly spoke 3 times and one of which was to remind them again that they should think of jin 😘 I love taejin so much

Hello ‘Tae looked so down’ anon,

Yep I have seen it and to be honest I was quite concerned not only about Jin being sick but also how V was super down without his Jinnie. Let’s go through it in a detailed masterpost and see his reactions throughout the video.

I mean the difference between his general mood and the other members was so obvious, he was legit depressed, barely speaking, not looking at the camera and it felt like he did not want to be there at all.  

Look at:

Him:

J-Hope asked Taehyung to show himself on camera: J-Hope who was truly concerned about V, requested him to show himself to the fans, then pushed him forward since he barely moved. Taehyung couldn’t even smile.

Look at his face: My poor baby. I have been saying for centuries that J-Hope has more maturity than anyone else in BTS when the subject is relationships, so I feel he was really trying to cheer him up and make him participate. 

Rapmon gave food to a motionless V: Everybody was attacking the meat, V tried to grab a bite but gave up midway so a concerned Namjoon, the good soul, gave him some food.

Jimin looks at V before mentioning Jin: Jimin is about to talk about Jin and just before gives a concerned look straight at a still gloomy Taehyung like he was asking for permission. 

Jimin talks about Jin being hospitalised looking at V: Jimin mentions Jin’s hospitalisation and keeps looking at Taehyung like he was waiting for a feedback. Taehyung doesn’t look back.

Jin suggested this place: Jimin talks about the first time he came to the restaurant with Jin to buy Jungkook’s birthday present. Everybody gets solemn about Jin not being there, nobody looks at Jimin in the eyes.

V rubs his eyes consistently for more than the normal “eye itch” time. In body language V’s eye rub means the brain’s attempt to to block out a deceit, it means he had something to hide regarding Jimin’s story about Jin’s restaurant suggestion or Jin’s situation in general.  

Taehyung opens his mouth for the first time: only to give a cute and concerned message to Jin on camera saying he should not sleep with the AC on. We could get a glimpse of Light Up V for a few seconds.

Tae vs JinJiKook (or whatever they are called LOL): as Jikook discusses their bond with Jin and how they hang out together all the time, V looks at them with that jealous of his Jin death stare we all know so well. I guess it’s not only Tae vs Nam’jin now, we have Tae vs JinJiKook too!

V really can’t with JinJikook: As Jikook carries on talking about their bromance ship name, Taehyung rubs his ears for a long time, in body language this means JinJiKook is extremely unpleasant to him. The gesture is an attempt at preventing the sounds from reaching a deeper part of the brain blocking his anxiety and nervousness, with a defensive posture. When ear grabbing is done while listening to others speak it is due to his disbelief as in “I can’t believe what I’m hearing”.

He then looks straight at Jungkook with contempt with his hand still in his ear and the down pressed lips + not amused tongue in cheek. His body language expresses he is displeased and sees Kookie’s mention of Jin as something disrespectful, like a personal offence. It’s a mind reaction that says, I don’t like what I am hearing, I don’t like how this taste, I don’t like you. His body is saying “Do not talk about Jinnie” his displease expressed as the contempt look towards the offender to demand respect, in this case Jungkook whose mistake was the enjoyment of being bro-shipped with Jin.

My hope, my angel is concerned: J-Hope notices Tae’s mood again and decides to cheer him up by mentioning his earrings. He knows our fashion boy so well, style talk always makes him feel better.

Taehyung thinks about Jin all the time: when it’s quiet cause everybody is eating, completely out of the blue V says “We need to think about Jin”. Since it’s silent V saying something of a massive importance, BTS respects his request and send Jin positive messages. This comment is very important cause it shows how Taehyung is constantly thinking about Jin, even when everyone else was talking about food, awards, the comeback. This means that at that moment, Jin’s health and the fact he was absent occupied his mind more than the fandom, awards and food. 

Going back again to analyse even further his fuelled body language response to JinJikook, especially towards Jungkook, I don’t believe he sees JinJikook or Jungkook as a threat to his relationship. Here we see a similar pattern he displays with Nam’jin, it’s not about the ship itself, it’s about his jealous and possessive nature towards Jin, he just doesn’t wanna see anybody else being shipped with Jin, even if it’s just for fun. 

I think the main reason why he got annoyed with Kookie, it’s cause Kookie is younger, therefore he thinks his position as Jin’s special someone deserves Kookie’s respect. There were many other situations when Jin’kook was happening and Taehyung looks legit mad at Kookie. Of course his possessiveness with Jin is most times a passing situation and soon he returns his usual cute older brother behaviour towards Jungkook. I did give a lot of thinking about Kookie’s close relationship with Jin and why does he sometimes acts like he is clueless about Taejin, but that is a talk for another masterpost. 

I see that, as usual, this is a fandom who loves to dilute emotional situations to primitive notions of the boys behaviours. Again fans mistakenly took his behaviour as just tiredness from the comeback, nobody seems to connect the obvious, that Jin’s absence affected V’s state of mind. Although I’m sure everybody is pretty tired, his emotional behaviour speaks louder than just being physically drained. Tiredness makes you lethargic, light headed and sometimes irritated, Taehuyng was not like that, he was reclusive, sad but aware enough to respond to mentions of Jin and even to express jealousy through his unconscious body language response.  

So sum it up, he was deeply concerned about Jin, all his body language and behaviour show that Jin was his focal point. Nobody else was acting like he was acting, and BTS (esp J-hope and Rapmon) was treating Taehyung with caution and concern. It just breaks my heart to see him like that, and it makes me kinda worried about Jin’s emotional state as well, since for me it’s pretty clear there is more that just a cold, going on behind the scenes. But to see V’s concern, to see him wither without his Jinnie, the mutual respect and trust, their intimacy, the ever growing emotional alliance between these two princes makes me so happy for them. They embody my personal notion of true love.

I feel that Taejin is giving us so much on this comeback, but sadly most of that they do has been underrated and misread by a fandom who is self-restrained by their predefined fan service ships and lack of sensibility to understand what’s in front everybody’s faces. As I said in the past, this is Ok as long as Taejin are safe but the lack of recognition of their beautiful relationship leaves a bitter sweet taste in my mouth.

Tkx for the question anon, I also love Taejin very much. 

Lots of love.

[gwynnew]

'The Last Jedi' director Rian Johnson on Carrie Fisher, his spoiler 'no-fly list,' and rear of a porg backlash (exclusive)

Chewbacca gets some Millennium Falcon-flying tips from director Rian Johnson. (Credit: Lucasfilm)

“I will say this: it’s a hell of a trailer.” That’s the extent to which writer-director Rian Johnson, speaking to Yahoo Entertainment on Friday, would reveal the contents of the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer that premiered Monday night. Sure enough, the long-awaited trailer was one for the ages, showing how Rey’s journey towards self-discovery will take her perilously close to the dark side. The aging Luke Skywalker (who finally speaks onscreen!) is alarmed at Rey’s ability to harness the Force, and seems concerned she’ll go the way of Kylo Ren — a possibility that Supreme Bad Guy Snoke seems eager to exploit. Should fans be concerned that Rey is the next Anakin?

“What [Star Wars] is really about is the transition from adolescence into adulthood,” Johnson tells Yahoo Entertainment. “And a big part of that is navigating the relationship with your family, with your parents, with the people closest to you, with the people you most love, the people you’re most afraid of… For me, it’s about being a kid and going into the next phase of your life.”

Of course, all the characters surrounding Rey have their own demons to confront in The Last Jedi. Finn goes head-to-head with Captain Phasma, literally confronting his First Order past. Poe must fight a perilous space battle. And Kylo seems like he’s fighting through some inner conflict, probably related to how he killed his dad in The Force Awakens. (Just a wild guess.) On a lighter note, there’s a cameo appearance by a porg, those adorable bird-like aliens that Disney is heavily marketing for Christmas.

Chewie’s porg pal is an adorable anxiety ball. (Credit: Lucasfilm)

“Are you sick of them yet?” Johnson asks with a laugh. The porgs, he explains, were inspired by the actual puffins that inhabit Skellig Michael, the island off the coast of Ireland that served as the location for Luke’s hermitage. “I was like, ‘Oh, this is part of the island, we need to find the Star Wars version of this,” the director explains. “And then just story-wise — not that they play a big part in the story — but I knew I wanted to find any source of comic relief I could on the island. And so they were very useful in terms of that.”

Cute creatures in the Star Wars universe, the Ewoks in particular, have often received a mixed reaction from fans. Is Johnson concerned about a potential porg backlash? “It wasn’t until we got the actual puppets on set and the whole crew reacted with ‘oh my god, they’re adorable!,’ and also then a few people in the crew were of giving them that suspicious side-eye of ‘these are cute, but are they too cute?’” Johnson recalls with a laugh. “But the overwhelming reaction on set was everybody loved the porgs. And I love ’em, so you know what? I get it if people are a little wary of cuteness in the Star Wars universe, but I personally love them, and I think they have their place in the movie.”

The trailer also gives viewers a fleeting but emotional moment with General Leia, who looks like she may be in the literal crosshairs of her vengeful son Kylo Ren. The Last Jedi marks the final performance of actress Carrie Fisher, who passed away before shooting could commence on Episode IX. According to Johnson, who considered fellow screenwriter Fisher “one of my heroes,” the actress went to great lengths to make sure Leia’s every moment was true to the character she created in A New Hope.

Rian Johnson and Carrie Fisher run through a scene in The Last Jedi. (Credit: Lucasfilm)

“She was so conscious of the place that Leia had, not just broadly in the culture, but very specifically in terms of girls who grew up watching Star Wars when Leia was the only female hero on the screen,” Johnson says. “She really wanted to do right by that, drawing the character forward. That was something that she would always be pulling us back to. And for me it was fantastic, because besides all the other benefits of having a fantastic writer like Carrie there by my side while we’re making this movie, just having a voice that was like a compass needle that would always pull it back in the right direction of, this is what this character means and this is what we always have to make sure that she’s serving, with her strength and also with her weaknesses — showing a fully realized character who is going to be inspiring to the folks who grew up with Leia.”

As for any further details about the film’s characters or story, Johnson is careful to give nothing away. In response to a question about the mysterious object in a tree that’s been rumored to be the Journal of the Whills, he jokingly admonishes, “Don’t believe the internet, Gwynne! What are you doing?” When asked which sequences were shot with an Imax camera, he answers, “I can’t tell you specific scenes, because that would be describing the scenes by telling. And that would be telling!” But the director doesn’t mind keeping Lucasfilm’s code of secrecy for The Last Jedi, because he actually helped come up with it.

“A year ago, maybe even more than that, my producer Ram [Bergman] and I sat down with the folks at Lucasfilm and said, ‘OK, this is what we’re going to reveal here and there, and this stuff we’re never going to reveal until the movie comes out.’ We came up with a ‘no-fly list’ of, under no circumstances is this shown or that shown,” says Johnson. “It is a fascinating process. It’s something that for me, just having been a fan my whole life, suddenly being behind the curtain and seeing how it works and seeing how deliberate it is, has been really fascinating.”

Imax camera on Skellig Michael during filming of The Last Jedi (Credit: Lucasfilm/Imax)

He will say that the gigantic Imax camera (“It looks like a shipping container”) was used for some of the footage taken on location at Skellig Michael. Because the camera is both unwieldy and too noisy to capture dialogue, Johnson explains, he and the crew “tended to pick our battles with it and look at the stuff that was going to have the biggest visual impact. So we brought them out to Ireland and used them in a few scenes, when we could really take in the scenic scope of everything.”

Rian Johnson gets in on the Finn and Poe bromance. (Credit: Lucasfilm)

Now that the film has wrapped, Johnson can start thinking about other projects — perhaps a musical? “Oh my god, I would love to someday,” says Johnson (whose Twitter header is not Star Wars-related, but a photo from the 1960 Judy Holliday musical Bells are Ringing). “I was a musical theater kid in high school. And so I looooove musicals. Someday, hopefully. Maybe a Star Wars musical!”

For now, Johnson is still in Star Wars withdrawal. “I’m just randomly wandering around the Walt Disney studios making pew-pew sounds, trying to direct people and nobody listens to me anymore,” he jokes. “I’m turning into a Force ghost. It’s a strange feeling.”

Star Wars: The Last Jedi arrives in theaters on Dec. 15. 

Watch the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer:

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

How Carrie Fisher helped create the Star Wars legend

Star Wars fan theories about evil Snoke: John Boyega and Rian Johnson share their favorites

Mark Hamill remembers Carrie Fisher, says Star Wars: Episode VIII will have ‘air of melancholy it doesn’t deserve’

[filosofablogger]

I used to do Snarky Snippets once every couple of weeks.  Now, it’s more like several times a week.  There is just so much …

Who could blame him?

Yesterday, a man in a wheelchair tried to set fire to himself outside the White House gates. The man lit his jacket, officers immediately responded, extinguishing the fire and giving the man first aid, the man was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries yada, yada, yada.

A “suspicious package” was found near the area … turned out to be the man’s backpack.  The White House was put on lockdown because the Idiot-in-Chief was there, even though it was obvious there was no threat to him.  And thus ends the story, right?

So why did the guy do it?  There comes a point where hopelessness leads to not caring anymore which leads to … this.  A man who figures life isn’t much worth living any more, and whose fault is it?  Donald Trump’s.  And so … let’s put an end to it, but let’s make sure Trump knows that this blood is on his hands, that he is responsible for the death.

The official story, by later today or tomorrow, will be that the man had a history of mental illness.  I’m betting not.  I’m betting that he’s given up on the hope of seeing this country rise above the abomination that is Donald Trump, decided it’s not worth sticking around to watch the final chapter, but wants Trump to know … as if Trump had a conscience and could understand human pain, the suffering of humanity.

Score one for Maxine Waters

Steve Mnuchin … just seeing his picture makes me want to relieve him of that smirky little smile he always seems to wear.  For any who are unaware, Mnuchin is Secretary of the U.S. Treasury, another of Trump’s boot-lickers.

Well, on Tuesday he met his match in the persona of one Representative Maxine Waters!

Mnuchin had been testifying before the House Financial Services Committee, when he decided he had enough and cited a meeting with a “foreign leader” as his reason for needing to leave.  Ms. Waters, chairperson of the committee, asked Mnuchin if he could give the committee another 15 minutes so members who had been waiting for their five-minute turn could ask him questions.  He again cited the importance of his meeting.

Finally, Ms. Waters said, “If you wish to leave, you may.”  Well, Mnuchin was caught off-guard by that, apparently, and responded with …

“Please dismiss everybody. I believe you are supposed to take the gavel and bang it.”

WHOA-DEE … You could have heard a pin drop, for about 3 seconds, until Representative Waters said …

“Do not instruct me as to how I am to conduct this hearing.”

Mnuchin stayed the extra 15 minutes and then told Waters, “I look forward to being back in May, and we will work on a date.”  Waters responded, “Thank you very much.”

The lady has class!

He just keeps coming back …

Ol’ Roger Stone just won’t go away and stay gone.  On Friday, his lawyers asked a federal judge to dismiss Stone’s indictment for lying to Congress and obstructing justice and to order that Stone receive a full unredacted copy of Mueller’s recently completed report.  Say WHAT???  We the People are as unlikely to see it as a man is likely to give birth, but Roger Stone thinks he deserves a copy?  Yo … Roger!!! You can read the heavily-redacted version in the New York Times the same as the rest of us! At least, I suppose they let you read the Times in prison.

“No other person, Committee, or entity has Stone’s constitutionally based standing to demand the complete, unredacted Report,” said the lawyers.

A new bromance for Trump?

Trump has found himself another strongman dictator to love … what a surprise, eh?  This time it is Egyptian President Abdel Fatah al-Sissi, a ‘president’ in name only, but in reality, a dictator who is in the process of making changes to Egypt’s Constitution that will make him a de facto dictator for life, while permanently enshrining military control over Egypt’s political system. He continues to hold tens of thousands of political prisoners, including at least a dozen U.S. citizens.

So, how did Trump respond when al-Sissi arrived at the White House for a visit on Tuesday?

“I think he’s doing a great job. I don’t know about the effort. I can just tell you he’s doing a great job. Great president.”

The Egyptian president, naturally, returned the compliment …

“Let me emphasize, Mr. President, that the relations have not been better over the years of our bilateral relationship, and that is why I’m extending, Mr. President, to you our thanks … All the credit goes to you, Mr. President.  Thank you very much for your support on all fronts.”

Feeling sick yet? 🤢 Trump also took the opportunity to lie and whine to al-Sissi …

“We are building a lot of wall, and we are being very strong on the border. But we are bucking a court system that never, ever rules for us, and we are bucking really bad things with the Democrats in Congress not willing to act. Nobody can believe these decisions we’re getting from the 9th Circuit. It’s a disgrace.”

And al-Sissi sat smiling at Trump, for he has had his own troubles with judges who were trying to thwart him by upholding the law.  President al-Sissi’s answer to his troubles was to change the law.  Think about that one for a minute.

Okay folks, I’ve vented enough for one day.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend … I’ll be back!

Snarky Snippets … Version MCXII I used to do Snarky Snippets once every couple of weeks.  Now, it’s more like several times a week. 

[mgnemesi]

*facepalms* I cooked up another Stucky fic-non-fic/prompt/notes for  fic I'll never write

So.

First things first: I'm a glutton for punishment kind of reader,so I love my TREMENDOUSLY HAPPY ending to be on the wake of lots of angst and misunderstandings.

I've been toying before with the idea of a "bonded but Steve didn't realise" or "confession gone south" kinda fic, (I'd post hundreds if I had the time) but this morning I found me a recipe I truly like, which features lots of Peggy, and of Peggy&Bucky bromance to end the ages.

Please follow me under the cut for details...

So. Steve's in love with Peggy,and Peggy's love with Steve. Everybody in the army knows it. And nobody knows it better than Bucky, who's been in love with Steve his whole life. He's...Bitter, about letting Steve go, and who could blame him? But he's determined to see Steve happy,and if Peggy is his happily ever after, he'll never interfere.

Only, Bucky's still a mess, reeling from the horrors he saw in Zola's lab, from the torture and experiments. He's a young man still, and scared out of his mind, because his body is changing, modified against his will, and he has no idea what that makes him. And it's not just the psychological aspect of it that's exhausting and horrifying. He has cramps, his skin hitches, his muscles burn, the very marrow in his bones bubbles and hisses like poison. He keeps misjudging his own strength and reactions; and even the good perks - his eyesight is so good, he can make out details a mile away - even those, scare him senseless. He's, in short, adrift at sea. Drowning and desperate.

So desperate, he confesses to Steve.

And gets rejected.

He might even ask Peggy first. Like, I'm torn between two opposite scenarios. In one, he doesn't plan to, but a frustrating discussion with Steve leads to him confessing. In the other, he tells Peggy beforehand. It's a complicated mess, and he expects nothing from this confession other than a sense of closure. He KNOWS that Steve will say no. But he won't trouble Steve without coming clean to Peggy first. 

The morning after the confession, Steve is edgy and scowling, even a bit snappish, with a stormcloud hanging around his head. Peggy is befuddled beyond words. She goes to find Barnes to hear his side of the story, and she finds him crying with a bottle of booze. And. Well. 

Bucky's crying is a disarmingly heartwrenching sight. It hits her like a punch in the gut. 

He's desperate, but there's a quiet dignity in the way he hid, to lick his wounds away from the scrutiny of the world, away from Steve's sight, like a hurt animal. In the way his eyes fill over and the tears spill, silent, slow, hypnotic-like, but still he won't sob, his shoulders won't shake. His breathing hitches, and his cheeks are flushed. With his dishivelled hair and glassy eyes he makes for a disarmingly PRETTY sight, and she's honestly bowled over by her need to bundle him up in a blanket and make him honeyed tea.

So she...Kind of does just that? Or at least, she kicks his ass back into gear a little less harshly than she normally would have.

They become fast friends after that, and she is as viciously protective of him as Bucky is of Steve. She's seen a softness in him that she never saw in Steve himself. So she flirts with Steve, is stern with him when needed, supportive at times and oppositive when he goes into reckless-hero-mode, but she doesn't coddle him, while basically? She's soft and caring with Bucky in a way she seldom allows herself to be. Plus, if you touch Barnes, you get in her shit list and will be terminated with extreme prejudice.

Bucky gets maudlin moods from time to time, and confesses to her he's not really expecting to survive the war and she's all BARNES DON'T BE AN IDIOT IF YOU DARE FALL IN THIS WAR I'M COMING TO PICK YOU UP MYSELF AND FIREMAN-CARRY YOU BACK HOME.

(And he makes a joke about preferring to be carried bridal-style, and the set of her eyes goes more stern even as her mouth softens and she DEMANDS he stops deflecting because Lord help her, but she's stuck with him and he with her and he'd better realise it fast)

People are a bit confused by the fact that Cap's girl won't do more than shake hands with her sweetheart when he comes back from missions but WILL fuss over his Sergeant and go GODDAMMIT BARNES IS THAT A KNIFE WOUND WHY ARE YOU STILL ON YOUR FEET STEVE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DRAG THIS IDIOT TO THE MED TENT. 

Steve, however, is very happy that they get along so well (think waggling Labrador. You have the right picture). And has no idea that they're like, planning his whole future ahead.

Maudlin moods get less frequent for Bucky, but he still talks for hours on end with Peggy and confesses stuff he usually can't explain very well even to himself. He's glad that Steve isn't holding Bucky's feelings for him over his head, and that they're back to their casual, touchy-feely friendship, but he's stumped on what to do if *INSERT POINTED LOOK FROM PEGGY HERE* ... WHEN he goes home from the war.

"And why's that?"

"Well. I always thought I'd,I dunno, live with Steve as bachelors or. Or if he found a girl to love, that we could at least find us a way to live close together, you know? Like next door apartments with our kids playing together in the street, and taking turns driving them to school and spending the summer together and. It. It can't happen now, can it?"

"... Elaborate on that." *Narrow eyed look*

"I. Hum." * Squirms* "Steve's been... nice. So far. Understanding. Of. Of my feelings. But I can't. Can't truly expect Captain America to be all right living next door to a dev--"

"Barnes, you bloody sod, finish that word and...!"

"You know what I mean! A no-one man clinging to a national hero, people are bound to realise about me and give Steve shit for allowing me close...!"

"First. Talk yourself down again, I'll sock some sense into you. You're as much of an hero as Steve is. Second. There's NOTHING wrong with you, and if you truly think Steve or I would care for RUMORS, you're deluding yourself. The world is a cruel place, and you're hurting and used to having to hide that hurt and fear away, I get that. But this isn't up for discussion,Barnes. We go back to the States, you WILL stay where I can keep an eye on you. Lord knows you need someone close to remind you to love and care for yourself for a change, and I'm not letting anybody else doing what's clearly mine and Steve's job."

But then Bucky falls, and Steve crashes the Valkyrie and all that.

When Steve returns and is reunited with Peggy, they smile and cry over their past and what they lost, and inevitably they breach the subject of Bucky, and Peggy just sighs quietly and goes: "He loved you so much. I'd never seen devotion like that before knowing him, and I've never encountered it again, afterwards."

"Peggy, Peggy, no, you're confused. He... He loved YOU, maybe. I never understood. If it was a like a sister or. Or romantically. He always sang your praises, and you were the first person he looked for when we returned to camp, and the only one he'd willingly let fuss over him, but... He didn't love me, you're mistaken." And his voice is taking on a distinctly panicked tone, so Peggy grabs his hand and gently forces him to recount his side of things, and yeah, he DID love Peggy an he WAS glad that his best friend and his girlfriend went on like an house on fire but he also WAS jealous, because Peggy had parts of Bucky Steve never thought he'd have to share. 

Peggy hums thoughtfully and asks him about the infamous night of the confession and it turns out that Steve's an IDIOT. He turned down Bucky without even realising (he thought Bucky was drunk, OR mocking feelings Steve might have had, OR reeling from the experiments and so doing anything would feel like taking advantage... The possibilities are endless). So Peggy very wisely nods her head, struggles into a sitting position against her pillows in her sick bed and very very calmly socks Captain America in the jaw because BLOODY HELL STEVE THE POOR KID WAS WASTING AWAY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS REAL KIDS THESE DAYS I SWEAR.

Which might be hilarious if Steve wasn't on the verge of tears and suddenly realising he could've had it all, all he ever wanted (either Steve realises now he used to love - and still loves - both, or he always knew but never realised Bucky loved him back and maybe Peggy loved them both enough to...?)

When the Winter Soldier appears, Steve doesn't have time to tell Peggy. But after the fall of SHIELD, the nurses in the place Peggy is staying are suddenly introduced to a nephew they didn't know she had, a very handsome guy with long hair and steel eyes who likes to rest his head on his aunt's bed and let her gently card her fingers through the tangles in his hair, crooning softly about a blond idiot that shall remain nameless.

...So later Bucky is at the funeral and is spotted by several SHIELD agents and thus can't be framed for the Vienna bombing (and he never killed Howie and Maria), so they have a chance at an happily ever after.

[rhinozilla]

Daryl and rick get into a huge argument over something really childish and they fight all day and the rest if TF basically laughs their asses of but gets them to make up at the end of the say. Set in s7 at the hilltop? Only bromance

Oneday. One day was all that they had agreed on. One day to decompress, get somerest, and gather themselves for the conflict that was on the horizon. One dayto just enjoy being back together, within arms’ reach of each other, especiallyafter how emotionally draining the previous day had been.

“Fuckhim.”

Onegoddamn day was too much to ask for.

Rositasnorted, sitting with her legs crossed on one end of the couch in their Hilltoptrailer. Daryl was grumbling, sitting on the floor directly in front of her.Rick had stomped out to take a walk to cool off, but he had gone alone. Everybodyelse had remained in the trailer.

Afterthe unknown Hell that Daryl had already gone through with the Saviors, nobodywas going to take Rick’s side in this stupid ass argument. The two men had hadtoo much anxious energy to relax for one day, so they had ended up sniping at eachother over something childish, just to get the pent up energy out of theirsystems. Except now they weren’t talking to each other, and everybody in thetrailer was trying not to look amused at their harmless squabbling.

Sashaand Maggie were sitting at the table, cleaning their weapons and writing in anotebook respectively. Maggie wasn’t fully engaging the conversation, but shenodded her head absently when Daryl got to venting. Tara was on the other endof the couch, openly grinning at the ridiculous situation, because she was outof Daryl’s line of sight. Michonne had gotten into a crossword puzzle book, andCarl was reading it over her shoulder. Enid was beside him, looking unsure asto how to react to Daryl and Rick’s argument, torn between irritated andamused.

“Okay,that right there,” Sasha remarked with a snort. “You gotta see where Rick’s comingfrom.”

“Yeah,but where he’s coming from is stupid,” Daryl mumbled.

Forthe past hour, since Daryl had plopped himself down, Rosita’s fidgeting handshad started toying with his hair, which was drying fluffy after a shower. Hell,she had some anxious energy too, but picking a fight over…this? Daryl had neverstruck her as someone who liked physical contact, but after everything, heseemed to be craving it. Her restless hands had been happy to oblige, findingan outlet by playing with his hair. She’d already braided it and then loosenedit, given him pigtails and then pulled them down. Currently, she was justrunning her fingers through it, letting it spill down out of her hands.

“Wouldit be so awful to let him have this one?” Michonne snorted. “Yeah, maybe it’sstupid, but it’s his daughter. Maybe he just doesn’t want her first word to be ‘fuck’or something else.”

Tarashook her head. “I’m with Daryl on this one. I mean, the dead are up and movingaround. Is bad language really such a big deal?”

Sashasmirked. “Have you ever heard a small child say swear words? That is thefunniest thing ever. But you can’t laugh, or they’ll never stop.”

“SoI guess,” Daryl growled. “Saying ‘make sure you stab the walker in the brain’is more acceptable than ‘make sure you stab the walker in the fucking brain’?”

Rositashook her head. “The only obscene thing about all this is how soft your hairis. Seriously, what the Hell is this?”

“Ooh,let me feel,” Tara said, leaning over the side of the couch.

“Buzzoff.” Daryl leaned away and swatted at her half heartedly.

Whenhe sat back though, Tara still ran a hand through his hair, and he just sighedin surrender.

“Goddamn,” Tara whispered. “Maggie, feel this.”

“Iknow,” Maggie remarked without looking up. “It’s been infuriating for twoyears.”

Darylsnorted as he looked at her, and Rosita combed his bangs back, starting togather it all up for a standard ponytail. The only downside was that his hairseemed to be all different lengths, so some of it hung down on either side ofhis forehead. Maybe if she could scrounge up some bobby pins…

Carlslumped in his seat between Michonne and Enid. “Up until a few months ago, Dadwas still getting on to me for swearing.”

Michonneand Sasha both laughed at that. Daryl pointed at him.

“See?It ain’t a big deal. People make too big a deal outta first words anyway.”

“Minewas kitty,” Tara chimed thoughtfully.

Darylswiveled around and gave her a flat stare. She lifted her shoulders.

“Momma,”Maggie added.

“Dog,”Sasha stated.

“Goddammit,” Daryl grumbled.

“Thosewere your first words?” Michonne teased.

Theyall laughed gently.

“No,”Daryl huffed, but Rosita could see how his posture had relaxed at the mirth. “Idon’t know what they were. It ain’t important.”

Rositatugged the hair tie from her wrist and finished tying his hair back in aponytail. She prodded at it a bit. It didn’t look half bad.

“Hey,do a man bun,” Sasha suggested.

“Okay!”Rosita grinned.

Thedoor to the trailer opened, and Rick stepped up in with them. He looked likehis anger had fizzled out to tired resignation.

“Hey,”he greeted lowly.

Daryljust grunted.

“I’msorry,” Rick continued. “Things like that…It’s part of the old world, and Iguess my gut reaction is still to protect my children from it. But I don’t needto protect them from this. Let ‘em swear. The world they’re growing up in…they’veearned that.”

Darylseemed to ponder that, and the room waited with baited breath.

“Damnstraight,” he finally muttered.

Rickvisibly relaxed and smiled, pulling a third chair to the table to join Maggieand Sasha.

“So…whatdid I miss?” he asked, like nothing had even happened, and their day off hadn’tbeen hijacked by an immature quarrel.

“Whatwere your first words?” Maggie asked. “As a baby.”

“Bird,”he responded quickly, then pointed to Carl. “Yours was Dadda.”

Carlsmiled even as his face flushed. Enid giggled. The atmosphere of the roomlightened up, and Rick looked over to Daryl.

“Nicehair, man.”

Darylchuckled as Rosita put the finishing touches on his man bun. “Fuck you.”

[dreamsamongmortals]

“Hatari!” An example of queer coding in film history

As I watched for the first time in years the movie “Hatari!” a new perspective came to mind, and I discovered a secret my subconscious had been telling me about since childhood. “Hatari!” is a simple, charming kind of romantic comedy-adventure, about a group of hunters in Africa that catch animals and sell them to Zoos all over Europe. The movie is quite forgotten nowadays since it has no big thrills, action scenes, dramatic love story or gross out humor. It is only remembered as one of the decent John Wayne movies. But it turns out, it is also an example of queer coding done right and for the right reasons and contains a beautiful powerful gay “bromance” story.

 So, let’s do this.

I know what a lot of you may be thinking. Queerbaiting is never right! But queer coding and queer baiting are not the same. It is only recently that the LGBT community has gained its rights, and even now the representation in media is usually not very good or inexistent, just as with the majority of minorities. But during the 40, 50 and 60 eras things were much worse. Since the beginning of Hollywood, films had to be approved by the censors before they could appear on screen. No extreme violence, no sexual relations, no communist propaganda and definitely no queer content was allowed. However, things got worse when in 1946 the Hollywood Blacklist started. It was then when screenplayers, actors, and directors started to be imprisoned for their beliefs. And until 1960, when Trumbo was actually recognized and accepted back in Hollywood the Blacklist stayed. But even afterward, the witchhunts and censorships continued. Therefore, those who wanted to tell different stories, present outside characters or represent themselves had to use coding and subtext to do so. And thus, queer coding became a loudly spoken secret, just as subtextual communist ideas or sexual tension and innuendos disguised as the fight of the sexes. And “Hatari!” a movie by the great Howard Hawks and released in 1962, made a great and positive use of this, which is why I wanted to use this movie as an example.

The film tells the story of the chief of the hunters, played by John Wayne, who falls in love with a photographer that works for a zoo from Switzerland. At first, it seems he can’t stand her, and he assumes she is going to be trouble. But as their relationship blooms and they even adopt three motherless elephants, it turns out they are quite a good match for each other. Of course, it is not this two characters that interested me in my new viewing of the movie. Although when I  watched it for the first time with my father, who loves it, I thought they were the most relevant characters of the story, two other characters caught even then my attention. And it’s about their relationship I want to talk here.

The movie begins with one of the hunters getting hit by a rhinoceros. Immediately, they all rush to hospital, but by the time they arrive, “The Indian” has already lost a lot of blood. It is then when a new character appears. A French guy named Charles Maurey that has heard they’ll be needing a new worker. Of course, Kurt Muller, a German car racer that is part of the hunter’s team, jumps immediately with anger. His friend is “not yet dead”, and so he hits the French guy. However, as it turns out  “The Indian” has a pretty rare blood type, and the only person that can transfuse him is the French man. But Charles does not care about the job anymore, he just wants Kurt to ask him for help. Thus their love story begins. Even if very few people will recognize this couple as more than friends, the coding is there.

Charles, who soon will be called “Chips” by his new colleagues, and Kurt are the only male characters in the entire movie that are somewhat sexualized. The female love interests appear almost always fully and usually quite modestly clothed ( the only exception being the time Dallas is “attacked” by a leopard while showering). In fact, you could say, especially if you look at other movies the actresses partook in, that they were unsexualized in this one. In contrast, “Chips” always shows off his muscles under are a tight blue shirt and a pair of “Rebel-without-a-Cause-Glasses”; and Kurt wears the shortest pants with pride, while he unbuttons his collar, and makes the same use of his glasses. 

The second time they meet, some days have passed since “The Indian” got send to the hospital, and John Wayne receives a call, telling him that “Chips” abandoned the place after asking for money. Kurt assumes that he has gotten the money for himself and is not going to appear again. But soon after, the French comes by, a rifle that he bought back with the money he asked for in his hands, and ready to apply for the job. After they try him out and realize he’s a good shot, Kurt seems to be quite happy to accept him and even gives him his weapon. “Chips” punches him in the face and asks him afterward: “Do you still want me?”

It was at this point that I first noticed the queer coding. Who would ask if someone still wanted him when he was applying for a job? Funny enough, it was obvious that the reason they did not like each other at the beginning was mare Pride from “Chip’s” side and Prejudice from Kurt’s part. But after this, they become close friends. They drive together in the same car, they wear the same glasses, are always close to each other, “Chips” even safes Kurt’s life at one point… And yes, they also fight for the same girl. You may wonder how that’s possible if they are both gay. However, it was rather usual for queer coded movies to put a female love interest in between “gay acted” characters, in order for the film to pass the censorship. It is obvious if you see the movie that neither of the two men is really interested in the girl they are chasing. They pass more screen time looking at each other than at her, and when it turns out that she is in love with the comedic character, they accept it easily and Kurt invites “Chips” for a drink. 

What is great about this movie is that you can easily see when the screen players or director thought, they were being too obvious, as immediately after a very close scene between them comes another one with a female counterpart, or were one is relegated to the background, looking at the other from time to time with apparent longing. They get hurt together, they heal their wounds together, literary in fact, and they are always driving together. By the end of the movie, they both have planned to go to Paris together and stay there until the next hunting season. They apparently both know a girl there. “It’s a good excuse for another fight,wright” says Kurt and then asks John Wayne what his love interest is going to do, therefore comparing “Chips” with the girl Wayne loves.

It is precisely this ending that makes me love the movie more. And for that to be understood we have to see how the queer coding at the time went. When we think about hidden queer characters in classics, usually there are some movies that pop up repeatedly: “Strangers on a train” by Alfred Hitchcock, “Spartacus” by Stanley Kubrick, “Some like it hot” by Billy Wilder… Each of this three examples shows a different kind of typical queer coded character:

 “Strangers on a train” was not the only time Hitchcock queer coded main characters. He did the same with the movie “Rope” and the similarities between the men are quite obvious. As much as I love Hitchcock both for his films and his willingness to break molds and fight for acceptance, I have to agree with those that criticize him for making his villains gay. Even in “Strangers on a train”, where the hero is also queer coded, he ends up with a female lover instead of with his villainous gay counterpart. In that sense, “Spartacus”, the movie that helped break the Black List and is all about freedom of expression and the right to be oneself, has a similar problem. Tony Curtis plays a young, attractive and somewhat feminine slave that falls in love for Spartacus, who rescues and takes care of him. But as the story is a tragedy and a reflection of the times Trumbo lived in as he wrote it, everybody dies. Only Spartacus’ female lover survives and runs away with her baby. 

And then we have the hilarious “Some like It hot”, that is way more explicit and actually has a happy ending for the two queer coded characters. The only slight problem is that these characters are supposed to be a joke. Their sexuality is supposed to be part of the joke. By stating this, I’m not trying to devaluate these movies. They are some of the best films ever made, touching on impossible themes at the time with impeccable taste and great direction. But they also show the stereotype that would follow gay characters in movies up until now. 

There have only been three queer characters in Hollywood for decades: The comic relief, the villain, or the hero with a tragic ending. Nothing more nothing less. And this is the brilliance of “Hatari!” in my opinion. Kurt and “Chips” are anything but gay stereotypes. They don’t have a tragic ending, they are not villains, and they are not there to be a comic relief. In fact, “Pockets” the character that so easily could have been queer coded, is the one that ends up with the girl.

This is the reason I wanted to write this essay. This two minor, overlooked characters of a movie that nobody bothers to remember could easily be the best gay couple that was written during the censorship era. And they end up happy, and they have never been outed before. So this is me pulling them out of the closet.

 I hope you like it.

 But even if you don’t believe the couple is gay, you can still enjoy the movie, as my family does, because of its light harded humour, great score from Henri Manccini, great screenplay by some of the best Hollywood writers at the time, and beautiful elephants in the room ;)

[emptypokedex-blog]

More Pokespe Fan Children

I want to talk a little more about my Pokespe Fan Children (1 2 3) because I think they are cute. These aren’t so much headcanons, as I don’t think any of this in the actually canon of the series with some minor changes. Instead, consider it to be more of an AU taking place after the events in the manga. I’m also guilty of shipping some of my fankids...so that’s a thing. 

If anyone wants, I might post a comprehensive list of all their teams later, but not in this post. This one’ll only refer to some of their Pokemon. It’s kinda long, so the rest is under the cut.

PS I’d love to know what you guys think about them!

All of their first Pokemon (not starters) were:

Orange: Eevee, Grey: Zorua, Teal: Growlithe, Turquoise: Vulpix, Bronze: Wooper, Nickel: Slugma, Cobalt: Duskull, Garnet: Spinda, Peridot: Lotad, Waleria: Raltz, Quartz: Burmy (Trash), Beryl: Burmy (Plant), Zircon: Burmy (Sandy), Coral: Chingling, Amber: Pachirisu, Copper: Combee, Slate: Roggenrola, Zara: Goomy.

All of their starters are:

Orange: Bulbasaur, Grey: Oshawott, Teal: Squirtle, Turquoise: Charmander, Bronze: Chikorita, Nickel: Totodile, Cobalt: Torchic, Garnet: Mudkip, Peridot: Treeko, Waleria: N/A, Quartz: Turtwig, Beryl: Chimchar, Zircon: Piplup, Coral: Piplup, Amber: Turtwig, Copper: Chimchar, Slate: Snivy, Zara: Froakie.

Silver is majorly protective of his daughter, Nickel. He doesn’t want her to end up like him, kidnapped and fucked up. So it becomes a little absurd, but she knows how to work around his odd rules.

I’ve said this before, but I’ve started shipping Orange and Grey (honestly because they were right next to each other in their post) and, though I know nobody cares about shipping fan characters, I’ve called their ship RocknRollshipping because Orange is psuedo-punkrock (she’s a fucking badass) and Grey is a total geek (roll as in rolling dice). I just thought it was cute and wanted to share.

Now, just to talk about them as people. Orange is very punkrock, but earthy like her mother, determined to all hell like her father, and airheaded like both of them. Meanwhile, Grey get easily attached to things like his father and has the work ethic of his mother. I think it’d be cute for them to be paired together based on the personalities I’ve given them.

...why do I feel like I have to justify myself?

Orange likes to see him in in her denim jacket, even if it’s a bit tight, but she only thinks that makes it cuter.

They’re meeting was entirely accidental. Orange and her family were on vacation in Unova, they encountered each other, and became friends. The rest is history.

Grey’s Zorua likes to turn into Orange’s Eevee to confuse their owners. Ten years later, Zoroark still likes to turn into Umbreon for the same reason.

Long-distance skyping.

I kinda think of them as the “main characters” of this AU.

Orange is not a natural battler, so it takes a lot of effort for her to progress as a trainer. Her Pokemon journey was very difficult, creating stress that there’d be an expectation to do as well as her father, the once champion of Kanto.

Orange’s favorite Pokemon is Skorupi and it’s a shame she doesn’t have one.

I haven’t decide whether Orange or Nickel are Children of Viridian. It’s either one of them or neither of them. I’m leaning towards Nickel.

Grey is more of a backseat trainer. He’s a tactician who will help whoever he’s with by giving them information or tips on what to do next, all while using his own Pokemon for buffing or healing support if needed.

Nobody calls Turquoise by her name. Instead, they called her TQ or Tikki.

Most of Teal’s and Turquoise’s Pokemon are based on version exclusives for Red and Blue. Teal has Pokemon Red’s and Turquoise has Pokemon Blue’s, with the exception of their starters and Nidoran.

Teal and Turquoise rarely fight. They are very close, and any conflict would likely result in both parties sulking on their own or with their friends. Unfortunately, they also can’t let the other win and the argument would probably continue for days on end.

Quartz, Beryl, and Zircon all got Burmy as their first Pokemon because they’re stupid-looking and they all thought it was funny. Quartz named his Trash-Candy because that’s what it looks like, Beryl named hers Madame Flowers, and Zircon named his Pebs. They got them at the same time, at 6, 4, and 2 years old respectively. It was later realized that the 2-year-old Zircon meant to say Pebbles.

Zircon doesn’t let his Pokemon evolve because he thinks they’re cute. If anyone asks, he claims he’s just waiting for them to learn certain moves before evolving. It’s a lie.

Quartz is an unapologetic meme-lord.

Coral is a stone-cold bitch.

Coral and Quartz grew up together and they battle regularly. They are evenly matched and the current score is Coral: 52, Quartz: 50.

Cobalt has no desire to go on a Pokemon journey.

Peridot and Cobalt have the ultimate bromance.

Cobalt calls him Dot.

Peridot get a Lotad as his first Pokemon because he thought it was the most amazing thing he’d ever laid eyes on and needed to have it.

He never nicknamed it, but Cobalt calls it Jeeves because it is often used to carry things like a butler.

Now it thinks it’s name is Jeeves.

Garnet likes to boop her Spinda on the nose and watch is wobble around in confusion.

Garnet is tiny, but doesn’t care.

Peridot is a lot taller than his dad. Emerald doesn’t like this.

Bronze is torn between going into breeding or on a journey to discover new Pokemon.

Nothing Bronze wears ever looks good.

Copper doesn’t understand the first thing about battling and ends up with a garbage team, but tries his hardest anyway.

The only reason he got his first gym badge is because he caused the ceiling to cave in.

Amber once knocked out all his Pokemon, so he punched her Machamp in the face.

Amber is convinced her Machamp is absolutely adorable.

It’s name is Tulip.

Waleria’s health is questionable, but it is nowhere near as bad as her father’s, so it’s all good. It’s why she always wears comfortable slippers.

I have no information for Slate or Zara yet. I made them just to even out those posts, so I don’t have much to say.

Here, have a height chart with estimated/bullshat ages. Think of it as...an AU where the original Dexholders ages are compressed. I know the chart isn’t perfectly accurate, but you get the basic idea. (I’m really bad with height bc I’m 5′0″, so everybody looks tall to me and I don’t know what ‘too tall’ really is). The posts with the images of them, those are all of them at the same age. This would be them at different ages in real time.

[yahoo-devil-ball-golf-blog]

Masters 2018: Everything you need to know

It’s Masters Week, the greenest, floweriest days of the year. Can I get an Amen? And this year, the 82nd Masters rolls in with Tiger-fueled momentum, anticipation running higher than the pollen count in Augusta, Georgia. Here’s everything you need to know to prepare for the year’s first major.

Tiger Woods: What’s the story?

Woods, who is – at absolute worst – the second-best golfer in history, returns to Augusta for the first time since 2015, and the first time with anything resembling a decent game since 2013. Against all odds and predictions, Woods has returned from back surgery in solid, respectable, on-the-leaderboard form, and that’s enough to make him a betting favorite, if not necessarily a legitimate one. But Woods already has four green jackets, and he’s never missed a cut at Augusta as a pro. If his body doesn’t detonate between now and Sunday, he’s likely to be in the conversation.

But can Tiger win?

Probably not. The problem Woods faces is that as his game has faltered and stalled, the competition has sharpened. This is a Masters field that boasts a dozen players you could pick to win without sweating; the fact that there are so many top-quality players with only a handful of major wins to their credit is a testament to the strength of the field. Woods could, in theory, beat any of these players. But can he beat all of them? Doubtful … but don’t bet your house against him.

Who’s the best of the rest of the field?

The Masters begins early Thursday morning with a ceremonial tee shot from Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player. After that, players roll off in groups of three. (See here for tee times.) Here, other than Tiger, are the players you need to know and ought to watch.

Jordan Spieth. The 2015 champion had a green jacket in his hands in 2016 and threw it into Rae’s Creek with a Sunday afternoon meltdown on the 12th hole. He’s struggled through much of the recent past, but a strong T3 finish last week at the Houston Open gives him a little push coming into the week.

Rory McIlroy. Like Spieth, he carries scars of past Masters, in McIlroy’s case a 10th-hole detonation in 2011 that cost him the lead and the win. But he, too, has shaken off some recent downswings, and his thorough, torch-the-earth victory at the Arnold Palmer Invitational last month puts him right into the conversation for a green jacket – and for McIlroy, a career Grand Slam.

Phil Mickelson. He was all but forgotten, written off as a player whose best days were well behind him, then he went and won the WGC-Mexico championship for his first victory in five years. Mickelson’s right-to-left game always fits Augusta well, and he can still scheme his way out of the messes he gets himself into better than anyone with a club.

Dustin Johnson. He’s the World No. 1 and he’s barely even in the topline conversation, which shows just how deep this field is, both in golfers and in storylines. DJ missed last year’s tournament after slipping on a wood floor and wrenching his back the day before the tournament began. He’s not bringing as much heat this year as he was in 2017, but he’s still won twice since last year and he’s still, you know, the No. 1 golfer in the world.

Justin Thomas. Golf’s most spectacular recent ascent. JT won the PGA Championship last year, his first major, and every element of his game indicates he’s ready to grab many more. Plus, he’s developed a habit of tossing out rowdy patrons, which makes him a favorite of the green jackets at Augusta National.

Sergio Garcia. The defending champion has everything going right in his life right now – his long-awaited major championship, plus he and his wife recently welcomed a daughter named – of all things – Azalea. Does contentment breed continued excellence for Sergio? We’re about to find out.

Rickie Fowler. With Garcia off the rolls, Fowler takes over golf’s least-coveted title: Best Never To Win A Major. At least Rickie commands the most colorful fanbase in the game.

Bubba Watson. The two-time Masters winner (2012 and 2014) is rounding back into form with two recent wins and an equipment change to a better ball. Like Mickelson, he’s got a game perfectly fit for this course, and if head and swing are in sync, Bubba could join some select three-jacket company.

Everybody Else. Of the “rest of the field” crew, Justin Rose is probably your best bet; he took Garcia into overtime before losing last year, and had a chance to win on the 72nd hole. Temperamental lumberjack Jon Rahm could simply batter the course into submission. Henrik Stenson, Paul Casey, Alex Noren, Hideki Matsuyama … all of them could pull a Danny Willett-in-2016 and have the Sunday round of their lives to snare a green jacket, and nobody would be too surprised.

Who’s the best pick?

Here are the picks of Yahoo Sports’ golf writers. Place your bets accordingly:

Eric Adelson: “I’m torn between picking Rory McIlroy, who was outstanding in Orlando, and Jordan Spieth, who always seems to putt well at Augusta. I think momentum matters at the Masters, so I’m going with Rory. He’s one of the few players who can afford to have one off-day and still win the tournament.”

Jay Busbee: “Got to go chalk with Dustin Johnson. Augusta’s a second-shot course, and DJ is strong enough off the tee to give himself whatever second shot he wants. He’s not even close to the biggest storyline, but that’ll change come Sunday.

Jay Hart: “Bubba Watson. He’s healthy, he’s playing well and when you put those two things together, there’s a good chance he’ll be in contention at Augusta. And when he’s actually in contention at Augusta, he wins.”

Kevin Kaduk: “Jon Rahm was only two when Tiger Woods won the 1997 Masters. Twenty-one years later, Rahm has the game to prevent Woods from adding a bookend green jacket. Rahm and his temper still need to prove they can handle the weekend pressure it takes to win a major, but wouldn’t it be something to see fellow Spaniard Sergio Garcia presenting him with a green jacket of his own on Sunday night?”

How to watch

Thursday-Friday: ESPN from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. ET.

Saturday-Sunday: CBS, starting Saturday at 3:00 p.m. and Sunday at 2:00 ET.

Masters.com and the Masters app will show a range of coverage, including featured groups and significant holes, throughout the day, all days. No, you won’t be able to watch the entire tournament. That’s just the way it is.

How’s the weather?

It’s Georgia, so there’ll be heat, rain and humidity thick enough to knock a putt offline. Thursday looks ideal, with temperatures in the 70s. Friday gets a touch warmer. Showers are slated to roll in on Saturday – 60 percent chance, at this writing – but clear out for a cool and ideal Masters Sunday.

And finally …

Will you really get kicked out of Augusta National for yelling “Dilly Dilly”?

Of course. You’ll get kicked off the course for yelling anything. But if you try yelling this year’s version of an Austin Powers quote, your citizenship as well as your Masters badge should be revoked.

____ Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.

More from Yahoo Sports: • Coach asks NFL prospect: What if I punched you? • Yankees fans boo Stanton during his 5-strikeout game • Are Pats and Lamar Jackson a match made in heaven? • Dan Wetzel: The bromance of Phil and Tiger

[whydoyouthinkileft]

aos spoilers

having my breakfast - at 12:30 and so excited about this ep because of reasons so let's go

-btw watching the previously I just remembered Kasius and the other alien lady having their talks (Because he wants to leave that planet) and trying to top each other while also trying to sound like they don't hate each other's guts?  It was hilarious to me, it was like watching ANY conversation between people in my town ever (incidentally, my town if you live in it long enough does give you the feeling you are trapped underground waiting for giant roaches to suck the life out of you)

-oh hello lil cute boy -how old is he? is it me being weirdly old if I say that?

-oh even the white slave-owner guy has a soft spot for him?

-NO HE DROPPED THE FRUIT

-I feel like I'm too invested in him eating already

-senator Gaius whatever is also someone I could see living in my town

-thaaaaat's the scene from the promo. also can you imagine if ALL the people there are lying their asses off to look more evil?

-he looks soooo fantastic to me, I love cowboy in space clothes

-OOHHHHHHHH -the look on his face and lack of breath -I died fifty days over it -Kasius should have just been in something like Desperate Housewives -also I'm starting to find funny how he reads what Sinara says just from her expression and she never has to talk -Jemma looking at space and being deaf OH MY GOD FITZ. IS HE GONNA TALK. IS HE GONNA GO ALL I LOVE YOU I WANNA MARRY YOU HAVE MY BIOCHEMENGINEER BABIES and she's gonna walk away? -oh my god. He realized the universe can't stop them, they are stronger than curses. Now that she's deaf. He needs to repeat it. And then let her make fun of him for the curse thing for other 74 years -I FUCKING KNEW IT. I KNEW HE'D PROPOSE -nooooooooooooo the deaf thing -'oh are they' Fitz would love to kill him, wouldn't he -OH MY GOD HE'S TOUCHING HER FACE IN FRONT OF FITZ -Of course Kasius would appreciate that sentiment from Fitz. If all he's going to use from the Doctor is talking about bullshit and pain like a villain would, give those speeches, while he doesn't believe in a word he says and the actual bad guy there is like 'uuhhh this is my new friend' I'm here for it. This is basically high school and becoming popular. -Also still here if Jemma wants to break a pitcher on Kasius's face though -I am worried though because Jemma wasn't 100% chill when she saw Fitz's face -oh my god the look on Fitz's face after Kasius walked away -Tess just quoted me with 'soft spot' for the kid. I'm Tess now. -Flint 'if I turn I won't have to beg around' yeah well he's NOT WRONG, mind you -is Jemma going to mother this one too and then Daisy will train him? -AAAHHHH FITZ AND JEMMA -the hatred on Kasius' face whenever he speaks to all people who are supposed to be on his same level or higher makes me laugh, I'm so sorry -they are just so... mundane about 'uhhh your daddy gave your big brother the big job and you are stuck in here lmao' -evil eyes of hatred- -I'm glad Daisy is befriending the mind-reader, he's adorable -also he didn't expect her to go all 'I'm sorry' and he's even more adorable -no seriously they seriously could be living in my town -Fitz. Fitz don't fuck this up, my boy. -the almost smile when he describes it tho, that kinda sells it as him being a bitch so... good -what is that snail thing, also I TOO FIND MOIST CREATURES (and stuff that changes from hard to soft depending on the bite, and really most meat) DISTASTEFUL BUT NOBODY LAUGHS WITH ME WHEN I SAY IT AND REFUSE TOT IT, THEY CALL ME SPOILED. ALSO I RAN OUT OF THE ROOM IF THERE ARE SNAILS BECAUSE NO. Next fucking time we have a dinner with other people I'm going to talk with that attitude and slam the food on the plate and wait for someone to laugh. I'll instruct my little brother to laugh and make other people feel like they have to laugh -sidenote: the jackass who brought it up attempting to laugh along not sure of what's happening is amazing. I don't know which one of those guys is really the loser in the real tvshow that is going on in there. Kasius, cast away and trying to climb up the ladder and become a Big Shot, the snails guy who is soooo loud and soooo friendly and everybody knows he's just desperate to keep being in the inner circle, or what -HAHAHA the Kree discussing why the kid disappeared like. Even before they looked around like 'did we crush the kid' 'how did he disappear, what did we do wrong? look under your shoes' and now 'maybe his power is to disappear' 'nah' I can see these Kree driving a car and talking why they stopped -lmao 'you mean this guy?' 'no he's just cool' -Mack looks proud of himself- you are cool, Mack. You are big enough you don't need superpowers -at this point Kasius and others are just courting Fitz -MAY, IT'S MAY. MAY WILL FIGHT HIM. GET THE HELL OUT. also he KNOWS Jemma and Daisy were laying and how the ell idd he find out her name is Melinda May -Melinda and Fitz looking at each other like that, oh my god. And she hasn't seen what happened of Jemma yet after she let her go -is... Fitz... bromancing Kasius to trick him? what is this episode?? this is also perfect because Fitz's superpower since s2 has been to befriend EVERY person he met and get a circle around him super fast, first Hunter and Mack and then Hunter and Coulson, then he grabbed Bobbi too, befriended Radcliffe super fast, like, of course he can use his 'father's memories (with Jemma watching like a hawk - with impared sight) to get to Kasius. Fitz in this episode is me in high school, I'm not even kidding anymore. You gotta fit in to survive, so fit in in a way that will make people fight to sit next to you without even lying -is telepath boy going to tell May how to behave because he SHOULD -lmao May hitting him without thinking and succeeeding, bet he didn't see that coming -if it wasn't for her leg he'd in a world of trouble -LMAO KASIUS' FACE when Fitz went 'this fight bores me' -he just insulted May's age and just... her face. -the horror at Flint not knowing what tacos are -we finally know Elena's terrigen story lol -oohhhh my god white guy needs to die -he's about to kill him because he lied, oh my god, OH MY GOD, BEN. NO. NOOOO. DON'T DO THIS. -FITZ, don't try to control Kasius too hard, he'll know -one more death in Daisy and Jemma's conscience oh my god are you kidding me poor sweet Ben -oh the white guy had a second when asking about the prophecy and he might buy it later -aw Jemma and Daisy, with Jemma being able to hear -'there was nothing you could do' 'I have to kill him' 'you'll have to get in line'  just... Jemma, of all the people, always reassuring others that it's not their fault, but also REALLY, let Jemma kill at least one person who humiliated and hurt her instead of having her fail and get someone else to do it? -I KNEW IT. I KNEW JEMMA LIKED THE CARDIGANS, PREFERRED THEM. I'M THINKING OF S2. THEY WERE SO SOFT LOOKING -I love that their having girls talk in the middle of this too because oh god they are 29-30, and yes, they have been through hell, and in situations like this people don't necessarily act like super efficient zombies, they find humor, they find reasons to chat with friends, they still smile, and I always found unrealistic when in tvshows, including aos, they were only shown super serious ALL the time. -Daisy the shippers is back. Which I don't know why people don't like or find weird because honestly, I ship my friends with their loved ones when they are so in love -Jemma has a knife. Jemma KEEPS STEALING KNIVES AND WILL STAB PEOPLE, YES -Elena being tortured twice now -uh oh controlling rocks. BREAK HIS HEAD. CRACK HIS HEAD OPEN. YES FLINT -also the loooook between Jemma and Fitz was so lovely, they almost got to talk -Kasius is peacocking so much over his brother -oh they have a plan B, alright -oh wow Kasius' brother is such a sweetie, 'there is no honor to be found in this human cesspool'. that's kinda my attitude when they force me to go out for holidays. -oh yeah, Kasius 'pleeease Sinara fight for me' and then trying to talk her into not being mad at him lol. Also yes for Sinara dying. Fuck you.  You kept killing people with your stupid-ass balls. Your turn now. -jesus for a second I thought they had hung Tess for her neck -IS SHE? DEAD?? NO??????!!! -Daisy's look is so cool tho -KILL SINARA. KILL HER, KILL -aw shit they have a barrier -break her neck, break HER NECK -NO KILL HER. KILL HER FOR REAL. -JEMMA FUCKING SLIT KASIUS' THROAT I'M SO ALIVE FOR THIS, ALSO FOR DAISY FLYING UP LIKE THAT OH MY GOD -OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK -THEY HAD A REUNION KISS FOR FUCKING ONCE -JEMMA PROPOSED TOO AND HE ZFHAADSKJHFKDF -THEN THEY PICKED UP DAISY I'M SO -AND FITZ TALKING ABOUT HOW HE PROPOSED EARLIER THO I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK -honestly I said that I didn't want them to propose and get married until they were a little healthier but that can be solved writing fanon, when it comes to canon, if... Fitz managed to somehow work through his doctor issues and just needed one last push from Hunter (maybe that's also what happened in those six months) and to not be holding back on his love for Jemma anymore because he's completely there and not worrying about the cosmo... then I guess it's fine? honestly, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing so I'll just accept it in the show and then write 59494864 things in which they process things slower after the proposal, they'd have been together anyway -I CAN'T HELP IT OKAY I'M JUST EXCITED -ENOCH LIES THE WAY JEMMA LIED IN S1 OKAY, I LOVE HIM 'hello friend' 'who are you' 'I am a Kree as I've always been, brother' -I love everything about them dividing tasks and Jemma finally getting revenge on Kasius and Fitz finishing Sinara after Daisy did her fighting and also Daisy is there to listen to the proposal, I'm laughing oh my god