#the breakup that made the history books
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call-me-kitty ¡ 3 months ago
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Thinking back. It absolutely kills me that Orion knew that something was up with D but he still loved him. D was violent and he was pushing him away but Orion stuck with him. Like he knew he was losing his friend and he still ran to his side. D was the first person he went to when he crashed into Sentinel's tower. He helped him up and immediately went "What did he do to you?"
Orion was ready to jump to his defense just for D to push him away with "Nothing compared to what I'm about to do to him."
And then still, Orion ran to his side and fought beside him with the only intention of helping his friend. He didn't check in on the high guard. He didn't even check with B to be completely honest. He ran to D.
Now I'm rambling but you get my point right? Orion was trying so dang hard to prevent a breakup and then...they're not even friends anymore...
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eazy-peazy54 ¡ 5 months ago
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EVERY. DAMN. PASSCODE. FOR THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM.COM:
Will update when i find more!! (updates VERY frequently)
everything in bold+italics needs to be spammed for the full effect
Dipper  Mabel Wendy Soos Bill Cipher Bill cipher Pacifica Gravity Falls Robbie GideonStanley Stan Stanford Ford Sixer Mcgucket Hectoring Pinata Rat Divorce Breakup Weird  Alex Hirsch Matpat Giffany  Pines Sorry Skeleton Math Mystery shack Mystery Lies Tad strange Book of bill God One eyed king Blanchin Boyfriend Curse Wittebane Euclid Euclydia Peak  Platinum Paz Fuck  Shit Glass Shard Beach Theory Cray cray Ad Astra Per Aspera Im still on your mind Vallis Cineris  Help me Theraprism Triangle Weirdmageddon Blind eye Dorito Deer teeth Baby bill Baby LALALALALA Journal 1 Journal 2 Journal 3 Blendin History Filbrick Love FBI Waddles Reality Universe Portal T J Eckleburg Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Cursed Scary Abuelita Gun Disney Mickey Mouse Caryn Cryptogram codex Ducktective Toby Determined Irregular Booberry Horror Creepypasta Seven eyes Yes Trigonometry Torture mentally Xyler Craz Tantrum Justblendin Black sheep Baaaa Monster Titans blood Life Death Skibidi Fortnite Gyatt Who are you Fixinit1 R34lity Love ya bro Conspiracy Dippy Fresh Disco girl Liar Lyre Harold's Ramblings Union Made 29121239168518 Grebley hemberdreck 3466554 Tinsel snake XGQRTHX 333 sundapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611 naitsuaf mountain don't axolotl morality well well well being Burnside Creepypasta Family matters Forget the past Nothing Something Hey nerd Even his lies are lies Riddle No LLIB When will I die Elon Clone Multilevel mark Goodnight Sally Paper jam Tyrone Fordtramarine Tourist trap Mason The duchess approves shape Scalene Scientology Meow Shave Your Grandma Nacho Rizz Crypto Sevral times Easter Egg Oh yes they both Oroborous Suck it Merlin Just fit in Daddy Mommy Burned Inside Kings of new jersey Destruction is a form of creation They'll see They'll all see I see Unreality Rubberhose You can't kill an idea Card Scrimbles Am i blanchin Fuck Alex Fuck you Alex Fuck you (im not cursing out alex i prommy, these are deadass codes) Hotxolotl Bye gold Ciphertology NSA Globnar Disneyland Rehpic Kook Kubrick Not a phase Paper is book skin Virus Spookemups That's just a You're insane Owl trowel L is real 2401 NFT Question Answer  Occurremus iterum Frilliam Butternubbins Dispense My Treat Dionarap Stod eht tcennoc History Hologram The gun Marry me
Which religion is right
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sweetmidnights-library ¡ 10 months ago
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cannot wait for Sydney to get off my tik tok fyp. like I love this energy for y’all but every time I hear that word I feel like I’m going to throw up lol.
#iv got something on my mind#you forgive you forget but you never let it go or whatever kendrick lamar said#the tortured poets department will be my entire personality#we love going through a horrible breakup at the exact same time as our faves#and now we are almost a year out and the juicy stuff is on lock#my therapist thanks you though#the hundreds of dollars I have spent undoing the harm you caused me probably paid her mortgage#vent post#genuinely though like I cannot fucking fathom doing to someone what you did#you’re so fucking selfish#im not hard to fucking love and you were never going to close the distance#I knew that from the fucking beginning and i even fucking told you that I didn’t think you would#believing you and anything that ever came out of your mouth was my first mistake#god I caught you in so many lies and the look on your face when I told you that? priceless. like sorry bestie you aren’t slick#I can’t imagine all the lies you told that I didn’t catch#god I was such a clown. of course you were never going to come here. you were looking at buying HOUSES#god my ego is just so bruised from that whole debacle#at least I know that I’ve made it into your history books#I hope all of your lovers know my name and choke on the weight of it#I hope you think about me and regret and guilt runs through your veins like molten lava#I wish you nothing but the best in your life#but I hope when you think of me#it always hurts a little bit because of what you did to me#i hope that thinking about New York City makes you sick and michigan leaves you haunted
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qwimblenorrisstan ¡ 5 months ago
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Insufficient | Azriel x Reader
Summary: After a few months of dating, your relationship begins to crack, and the truth behind Azriel’s odd behavior comes out.
Word Count: ~ 1.8k
Warnings: ANGST, so much angst, sort of unrequited feelings, breakup, mentions of sex + torture and murder, Nesta being an absolute queen
A/N: enjoy some delicious azzy angst���� lmk what you think I should do for the next part, like should they get back together, or reader finds a new mans while az grovels??
Requests are open!
Masterlist | Next
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It had been a warm, sunny day when you’d first met him.
The bakery had been going steadily as ever in Velaris, your family-owned shop hard at work to make the citizen's pastries and your famous sourdough bread. Generations of the family had owned it beforehand, and you were still helping out, you had been working the front that day.
Azriel had walked in, asking for some sort of treat that his High Lady was craving. His description of it hadn’t been the best, leading to almost thirty minutes of you showing him different sweet treats and pastries until he finally found what he wanted, and ordered a dozen of them.
That had been the beginning of your situationship, where he’d come to the shop asking for various things once every now and then, only to subtly get closer to you and even slightly flirt.
Eventually, he asked you out to dinner, and after a few more, you two began dating, and he admitted that he felt a little spark when he first saw you. Looking back, you wondered if that was the only reason he even pursued you in the first place, not for your personality, or even your looks, but just because of that spark.
The first few weeks had been lovely, him being thoughtful and caring to you in the little acts. Such as the way he made coffee for you just how you liked it in the mornings, how he began to put things lower on shelves so you could reach them, how he would talk quietly when you had migraines, or be patient when you were in a mood. The best example probably being the first time you had your period in front of him.
He hadn’t acted disgusted by it, instead, he’d gently cared for you, helping you through it, buying you chocolate and all the foods and snacks you were craving, getting heating pads, making sure you were alright for the entire insufferable week.
However, after that, the honeymoon period must’ve worn off, because he seemed constantly tense or stressed after that. His face remained like stone, not budging or cracking, even for you. The softening of his eyes that had happened before it was replaced by something strained as if he was waiting impatiently for something.
Even in bed, he wouldn’t look at you, remained quiet as a mouse, the only sign that he was enjoying himself being a large exhale as he buried his face in your neck or turned away. That was another problem, he knew how to fuck, he knew how to do that very well, but he didn’t know how to make love. Any time you tried to teach him, he just didn’t accept it, simply giving an unsatisfactory hum in response and continuing what he was doing.
He’d come home from missions, drenched in sweat and sometimes even blood, and not say anything even when you cleaned him off and led him to bed, giving you a cold shoulder. You fully understood that he had a bloody past and history, but you at least expected him to open up a little bit to you. Without any emotional transparency, it wasn’t really a relationship, was it?
His family was nice, though. You liked them, especially Nesta, since she seemed not to put up with everyone else’s bullshit. She was the only one you opened up to about your issues with Azriel, and how you were thinking of breaking things off or taking a break.
“He’s a hard one, but it sounds like he’s being an ass. If it were me, I wouldn’t put up with that.”
She said while you both sat in the library, neither of you noticing the small shadows lurking near the books. You sighed, nodding slowly.
“I know, it’s just…I feel like he’s waiting for something else, like just me isn’t enough.”
You said with a frown, and Nesta gave a little hum of acknowledgment.
“Just give it a week or two, and if you’re still unhappy, I’d leave.”
She said with a shrug, and not long after the both of you went your separate ways. You followed Nesta’s advice, giving the relationship a week or two, and it remained stressed and tense. However, when you finally managed to get into Azriel’s office during the day, about to break things off, he spoke first.
“Let me guess, your testing weeks weren’t satisfactory?”
He asked in a sharp tone, eyes narrowed on you with a piercing gaze. You took a sharp breath in, glaring at him despite the embarrassment that tried to take over.
“You were spying on me.”
You said, trying to keep your tone even despite how it wavered slightly. He stood then, towering over you from his superior height.
“I don’t like when people talk about me behind my back, let alone my partner.”
He said, the words clipped and full of anger simmering under the surface. He took a step closer, and you took a step back. You’d never been afraid of him, not really, but at this moment you didn’t exactly want to be close to him. His keen eyes noticed, and something like hurt and anger flashed in them.
“Don’t act like I’m some terrible person for having a girl talk because you’ve been acting weird. I can’t believe you spied on me.”
He huffed, taking another step closer, the shadows swirling and writhing, looking more agitated than ever. You took another step back, only to run straight into a wall that was now behind you. He continued stalking closer until your heart was beating faster and faster until he leaned down so you were eye-to-eye.
“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for. I’m not gentle or loving, I am a spymaster, I torture and kill people for my work, and have for centuries. I won’t be forced to change just to fit what you think I should be, or what you want in a relationship.”
He hissed, his words now full of anger and frustration. You leaned back, trying to keep away.
“That’s your problem. You don’t know how to separate your work life from your personal life, and you’re taking it out on me. You can be gentle and loving, I’ve seen it before, but I’m not what you want. You’ve been acting like I need to be something more for you when I’m not. I don’t know what you want, but your inability to communicate and be transparent isn’t my problem.”
You said back, tears now welling up as you tried to push him away. He didn’t back up, only moving closer and pushing you into the wall. His temper was building, and you could tell. It was only a matter of time until he would….
“A mate! I wanted a mate!”
Snap.
The silence stretched on and on for what seemed like hours after he said that, yelling it in your face. You’d never heard him raise his voice before. You gaped at the sight of him unwinding and shattering right in front of you as he rambled on.
“It’s not fair, Rhys gets Feyre, Cassian gets Nesta, Lucien gets Elain even if she doesn’t want him, and who do I get? No one.”
He said in an almost panicked tone, rambling on and on. He pushed off the wall, pacing around in his office, hands fidgeting.
“I thought—when I felt that spark when I went in your shop, that it might be you, but you weren’t enough. You aren’t my mate, because it would’ve snapped by now, I would’ve felt it, but I didn’t. You aren’t enough for me, and you never will be.”
He said, finally sighing at the end. He wouldn’t even look at you, eyes unfocused and only looking randomly around the room, anywhere but towards you. You swallowed, trying to hold back the tears that welled up because of his words. You weren’t enough. You never would be.
He looked like he felt a bit bad for half a second before his expression hardened again into that unflinching steel you’d grown to hate. He finally looked at you again, no hint of empathy or guilt now in his gaze for leading you on, or practically torturing you these past months.
Taking a shaky breath, you finally choked words out.
“Oh,” You murmured, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.
“Okay.”
You whispered, managing to push off the wall to walk to the door, opening it and walking down the hall, to the room you two had shared, and you began packing your belongings. Picture frames of your family, your clothes, little trinkets, toiletries, you left no trace of you behind as you packed it in a large duffel bag in the closet.
You walked to the front door of the House, open the door, and walk out, the 10,000 steps down looming in front of you. Azriel didn’t offer to fly you down, and it was only when you turned to look back at him, his face stone cold, that you felt it.
The snap.
A shifting warmth and coldness all at once.
And a mating bond.
His face fell in what looked like pure devastation and realization, hazel eyes wide and lips parted. It might’ve been the most emotion you’d seen him show in weeks. He began to walk out, trying to go after you as you began taking the steps, but a large flap and wave of wind stopped him.
Cassian’s large, hulking form stopped him, shaking his head grimly as he walked towards you, where you were still going down the steps, and he laid a hand on your shoulder.
“I’ll fly you.”
He said simply, and you nodded with a sniffle as he picked you up, his wings carried him into the air as he soared up, only to land moments later and drop you off back at the bakery where your family was working. He set you on the ground, pulling you into a warm hug.
“I’m sorry,”
He said, letting you pull away, and for some reason, you believed him. You, Cassian, and Nesta made quite the dynamic trio, and you would probably miss them the most. They were some of your closest friends, and also wonderful drinking buddies. You and Nesta loved cheating in card games and beating Cassian when he was too drunk to notice until he owed either of you a fortune.
“You can always come visit me and Nes, just send a letter or somethin’.”
He murmured to you, wiping the tears from your cheek, and giving you an apologetic grin, before sending you off inside your family’s bakery and flying off.
This time, when you saw the shadow still curled around your wrist like it always had been when you and Azriel were dating, you smacked it off, sticking your hand right into a clear ray of sunshine to chase it off.
You were done being dragged down by shadows and darkness, and for once in your miserable life, you were going to look for the light instead.
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mothford ¡ 5 months ago
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everything you can put into the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.dom site to get something
this is probably not an exhaustive list, but its everything ive found. it's long, so im putting it under the cut. happy exploring!
divorce (or "breakup")
sorry
mason
dipper
pines
pacifica
platinum pax
ford (or "sixer" or "stanford")
bill (or "cipher" or "bill cipher")
filbrick
axolotl
stan (or "stanley")
mabel (keep entering this one!)
soos
wendy
waddles
fiddleford (or "mcgucket")
theraprism
robbie
gideon
cryptogram codex
spookemups
ciphertology
scrimbles
babba (or "disco girl")
craz (or "xyler")
weirdmageddon
family matters
xgqrthx
3466554
triangle
abuelita
cia (or "fbi")
alex hirsch
journal 3
journal 2
journal 1
mystery
reality
clone (or "tyrone")
multilevel mark
more from the comments, reblogs, etc (thanks!):
cursed
ad astra per aspera
r34lity
tad strange
pinata
monster
universe
disney (or "mickey mouse")
toby determined
god
love
plato (or "pythagorus" or "math")
titans blood
scalene
dorito
blanchin
curse wittebane
hectoring
just fit in
tantrum
euclydia
paper is book skin
t j eckleburg
baby bill (or "baby" or "mommy")
vallis cineris
burnside
rizz (or "skibidi" or "crypto")
deer teeth
answer
question
yes
no
lies
death
life
shit (or "fuck" or "bitch" or "pussy")
nothing
something
season 1
season 2
season 3
card
rat
history
gun
weird
harold's ramblings
union made
29121239168518
grebley hemberdreck
tinsel snake
333 sundapple lane cozy creek il 60714-94611
naitsuaf
glass shard beach
cray cray
imstillonyourmind
morality
sevral times
blendin blandin
ducktective
book of bill
portal
theory
justblendin
black sheep
even his lies are lies
please reblog with more if you find them!
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kingkat12 ¡ 1 month ago
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omg I love your fics so so so much and I think you would absolutely nail a fanfic where roman is teaching reader how to smoke? or something like that 😭 like it being really intimate and stuff ughh idk but roman smoking just makes me go absolutely feral
Roman..... teaching reader.... how to smoke....?
do you.... want to give me..... a heart attack......?
THIS WAS SO DAMN HOT IT MADE MY BREATH HITCH WHEN I READ THIS, you BET i want to write this!!! you know me, i love writing reader having her first time doing anything at all lol, this was PERFEEEECT!! hope i've done your request justice, thank you so much for this one!!<3333
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nymphomaniac (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, smoking, mentions of sex, angst, flirting deluxe, Roman's mouth is FOUL
summary: not all lessons are good for you-- especially the ones taught by the notorious Roman Godfrey, who you also happen to have a history with
word count: 2,425
a/n: and this is NO WAY an encouragement to smoke, i don't smoke myself so... heh. read at your own risk i suppose, and be critical of what you read on the internet PLEASE!! mwah
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How to smoke �� a thorough guide by Roman Godfrey. That was a book I wouldn’t buy in a million years; why give a millionaire more money?
Thankfully, I didn't have to pay anything to get a free trial from the author of said imaginary book.
Roman sat next to me on the porch leading up to the house of the party we were at, having asked me to follow him outside to escape all the noise. I wouldn’t have gone with him, had I not started to get a headache from what I could frankly only call ear-rape. “It’s too fucking loud in there,” I muttered, shifting on the uncomfortable step. “There’s a reason I don’t go to these things very often.”
Roman shrugged, patting down the pockets of his jacket. “It’s not usually this bad when someone else hosts. But I heard this guy is notorious for being legally deaf, so that might explain it,”
“I wouldn’t be shocked if he did that to himself,”
With a laugh, Roman pulled out an orange-hued box of cigarettes, shaking his head. “It’s too bad you don’t attend parties that often. I never see you anymore, y’know? Just bring some earplugs if you’re so bothered by the damn noise,” 
Oh. My heart jumped with a jolt of pain. I cleared my throat; “Of course you don’t see me anymore, Roman… We broke up two months ago,” 
Despite seeing it coming from miles away, it had been the hardest breakup of my life. I knew whom I had gotten into a relationship with, knew exactly what kind of a guy Roman was, so I had been emotionally prepared for it when it all fell apart. The relationship had been more of a whirlwind thing, a lust thing, which had left me with a very bad case of being-walked-in-on PTSD. That one time Roman decided he wanted to go down on me at school, only for my math teacher to walk in on us in the classroom, was a memory I was sure I would never forget. Sadly. 
However, the bliss of being sexually compatible couldn’t carry the relationship forever, and I was aware of that long before he was. Around the time we hit the one-month milestone, I could see in his gorgeous green eyes that he was tired. Roman needed to be free to function, free to fuck any girl that walked by, and free to disappear for hours and come back whenever it pleased him. 
And what did I need? I wasn’t so sure anymore. 
If I were to use my brain and ponder that question once more, I would conclude that I needed to stop sitting next to my hot ex-boyfriend who was now lighting one of his classic cigarettes. Roman knew I didn’t approve, knew how many times I had told him it was cancer on a stick—still, I settled for the fact that he wasn’t scared of death. Actually, he probably wasn’t scared of anything other than real commitment. 
With a sigh, Roman nodded to himself. “I’m aware, but I’m still allowed to miss the sight of you,” He turned to me, his strikingly green gaze piercing mine— I held my breath. This was getting intense. Nonetheless, the next thing that rolled out of his mouth caught me off guard; “Do you have a lighter?” 
… What? “Roman, you know I don’t smoke,”
He shrugged, the corners of his mouth tugging into a smirk. “Worth a shot. I had hopes that you’d at least managed to become an arsonist in our time apart, maybe then you’d carry a lighter around with you,” Like this, faced with his heartbreakingly beautiful smile beneath the hues of the moonlight, I was reminded of the first thought I ever had when I met him; he was so… cool. Roman always looked so damn cool. I loved the way it made my heart flutter— the feeling of being with the coolest guy at school was still the most thrilling feeling of all. I felt cool, knowing he wanted to sit next to me instead of being inside the loudest party of the year hunting down his next lay. 
It was impossible not to smile back. “Don’t be so disappointed. At least I’m still a cannibal,”
Humored, Roman chuckled; “Glad to hear it,”
“And you’re still a nymphomaniac,”
That seemed to strike a nerve— Roman let out an offended huff, now patting down the pockets of his jeans. “Forget it. I never go anywhere without my lighter, anyway,” he mumbled.
Oh no. “I didn’t mean it as an insult! We were joking, Roman. You’ve never been the type to hide that you like… sex—” 
“Don’t fucking talk to me about sex right now, I’m too tipsy,” Roman’s words were harsh, snappy. He wasn’t looking at me anymore, now fishing out his usual red lighter; I hadn’t seen that one in a while. “No sex-talk. None.”
“Fine, Jesus!—”
“Thanks to you, I now have to smoke away the taste of you. Thank you,” he grumbled, a slight twitch appearing beneath his left eye as he brought the cigarette to his plush lips— oh, how I missed those. “Your perfume isn’t helping, either. So don’t talk about sex, because then I’ll start thinking about sex with you, along with how you taste after I’ve been going down on you for about ten minutes, squirming, whining, and then I start thinking of how much I miss it. So could you just—just shut up for a minute, okay?”
I stared at Roman in disbelief, my lips parting as my jaw threatened to hit the floor. He must’ve had a few beers too many to be talking so openly about… anything. I would go off on him about his use of words, telling me to shut up, but I was too stunned to think properly. With my mind still buzzing, I scooted closer to Roman on the cold steps of the porch, daring to lean my head down on his shoulder like I used to do when we were together. “You’ve only proved my point,” I breathed, closing my eyes. “Nympho.”
I knew him too well— I knew Roman would appreciate casual physical contact. He didn’t have enough of that in his life, anyway. Chuckling, amused, he lit his cigarette, inhaling with a quiet moan— something told me he had been waiting for a hit for some time. And just as I opened my mouth, ready to start my usual smoking-is-bad lecture, Roman cut me to it; “Don’t start talking about cancer now, either,”
“It is a cancer stick,”
“I don’t care,”
“You should!”
“But I don’t,” With a sigh, Roman exhaled, watching the smoke evaporate into the warm summer air. He leaned his head on top of mine, and I couldn’t help but think how the smell of the cigarette clashed with the comforting smell of his shampoo. It ruined everything. 
This conversation was one we’d had tens of times, and I wasn’t too keen on repeating it. “Roman…” I reached for the cigarette he lazily held between his fingers, feeling the softness of his hand against mine. “Maybe you don’t care, but I do. You need to take care of yourself.” I didn’t need to look at Roman to know his brows were drawn together as I took the cigarette out of his hand, holding it away from him. 
He sighed again, slower this time; “If you’d ever smoked, you’d see the appeal,”
“Yeah?” It was hard not to roll my eyes— “The appeal of cancer?”
With a low laugh, Roman turned his head, kissing the top of my head out of habit. Weirdly enough, it felt platonic for the first time ever, yet it didn’t fail to evoke a hard thump in my chest. It felt like I was being electrocuted from the inside, and my eyes sprung open—I was happy he couldn’t see that. “Not cancer, don’t be stupid,” he huffed. “Just use that pretty little brain of yours, I know it’s in there somewhere.”
If only he knew my brain was currently working overtime. “I’ll never see the appeal of inhaling crap that ruins your lungs. If anything, you’re the stupid one,”
Roman rolled his eyes, gently giving my head a nudge with the shoulder I was leaning on, motioning for me to sit up. “Let me show you, just once. If you don’t like it, you’re allowed to call me a nicotine-addicted nymphomaniac until the last day of high school,”
“And the day after. An extension for your favorite ex,”
“Nope. The day of graduation, and that’s it,”
I turned to look at the blindingly pretty smile on Roman’s face— how was it possible not to fall for this guy? He was gorgeous. “Fine,” I mumbled, knowing I would call him that no matter what behind his back until the day he died. “So how the fuck do I do this?”
Something in Roman’s green, green, eyes shifted. Maybe he was wondering why he had ever let me go in the first place— maybe he was thinking about the word to describe the color of my hair as it mixed with the grays of the moonlight? He cleared his throat, turning his body towards me as I mirrored him; “The first step is easy,” he said, reaching forward to place his hand behind mine, bringing the cigarette to my lips. 
My skin burned. Fucking burned, with every touch. 
Roman’s eyes were already big, which is why I was surprised to see they could get even bigger when he gazed down at my lips. “Open up,” he breathed, absentminded. 
Now, I could be sure he wasn’t thinking about the color of my hair. Maybe he was back to reminiscing about the taste of me? Or other nasty nympho things, as per usual.
I placed the cigarette between my lips, but Roman let out a short, alarmed sound that nearly made me yelp. “Now comes the trick,” he urged, leaning closer— I was unsure whether he was aware he was inching towards my face or not. The closer he got, the easier it was to focus on the single strand of his dark hair that lay over his forehead, straying from his stylings. It was so damn attractive— I had to hold myself back from smiling, now that I remembered the one time I caught him pulling it out of his gelled updo to lay it there on purpose. Cutie.
“The trick?” I echoed, realizing he had frozen to his spot just staring at my lips. I pulled the cigarette away from my mouth; Roman hadn’t said anything for about five seconds. This was bad. This was dangerous. It made me want to jump him and let him fuck me right here on the porch. 
“Uh—” Roman cleared his throat, letting out a breathy chuckle as he shook his head. “Sorry. The trick, right…”
God, I was two seconds away from bursting into flames like a phoenix. Was I still breathing?
“For your first time, you should— because this is your first time, right?”
“Yes!”
“You sure?”
“Roman!”
“Alright, alright!” Roman laughed, biting his lip as he tilted his head just a little. Had the cigarette not forced a space between us, I would’ve started wondering when he would kiss me. “The trick is to not inhale too much smoke for your first time. I don’t want you to cough up your left lung on my new shirt. And hold the smoke in your mouth for a moment, let it cool down, and only inhale it when you’ve taken the cig out of your mouth.”
If Roman one day actually did decide to write a smoking-guide, I could at least be sure the content would be explained simply and concisely. “Seems easy enough,” I mumbled, watching Roman’s pupils widen as I placed the cigarette back between my lips and sucked in a small amount of smoke into my mouth.
It felt like I was getting a mild burn on my tongue— it wasn’t pleasant. For a second, I got scared my eyes would pop from the shock, and I closed them to ensure the blood at least wouldn’t splatter anywhere if I happened to be so unlucky. But when the burning subsided, I finally dared to inhale.
My eyes sprung open, meeting the fascination in Roman’s green gaze as my previous headache caused by the loud music disappeared. My brain suddenly felt like it was buzzing with pleasure and energy. Before I knew it, I was half giggling against Roman’s mouth, letting my cigarette-clad hand fall by my side. “Wow,” I breathed, in awe of the satisfying whirring in my head. 
Roman looked like he was two seconds away from cooing at me, right in my face; “There you go, good girl,” he purred. “Do you get it now?”
God, I hated myself. Still, what I hated more, was that my hot ex-boyfriend was blatantly right. “I think I do,” 
Roman hummed, smirking as he reached for the cigarette in my hand, smoothly brushing his fingers across my skin on his way down. With a content sigh, he looked into my dazed eyes as he pressed his free fingers over the pulse of my wrist— “I still make your heart jump,” he breathed, leaning in so close I could feel the hotness of his breath against my cheek.
I swallowed. “You always will. It doesn’t mean anything,” My eyes flickered back and forth between Roman’s green eyes and his plush, pink lips despite knowing I shouldn’t. 
“It doesn’t?” he echoed, visibly amused as he raised his brows. 
“… Nope,”
Roman hummed, nudging the tip of my nose with his just as he always did—was this maybe just a habit, or was he going to…? The atmosphere was so thick, I could reach out and touch it. My breath had long caught in my chest, but Roman’s next words only made it worse; “Let’s talk about sex again,” he whispered against my lips, his lashes hanging heavy over his eyes.
“No. This is over. We’re just sharing a cigarette,”
“We could share a bed too,”
“Stop it,” I breathed, hoping he’d spot the desperation in my eyes. “It’s been two months. Aren’t you over this?” Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.
Roman stilled. With the next beat of my pulse against his fingers, his eyes softened with a new realization beneath the moonlight; 
“Over you? Never,”
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h50europe ¡ 2 months ago
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BUCK / TOMMY - HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A FANDOM SCORNED!
I did some thinking. Never good, but my brain can't wrap around the breakup that came out of the left field.
Recently, it was announced that a spin-off of "9-1-1" is in the works. While no locations have been finalized, Hawaii and Las Vegas have been suggested as potential settings. The showrunner is already working on the project, with filming set to begin in March 2025.
However, one of my biggest fears has come true: the focus of the showrunners is being diverted from the current show to concentrate on this new spin-off. All the energy runs in the new project. Also, at this point, we don't know if the mothership will be renewed. Without an early renewal, we must wait until May for the announcement. That is another reason why they are focusing on the new show. I wonder if this is why the plots feel rushed and repetitive. It's nice to revisit the past, but not ad nauseam. 9-1-1 does it too often lately. What's the point in bringing back Gerard and turning him into the butt end of a joke? What's the point in digging out Abby's Tommy and hanging it around Tommy Kinard's neck when nothing was ever mentioned in the past. The focus is clearly not on the current show. It feels like Tim abandoned the ship to board a new one. It's fresh, it's crisp, it leaves room for a lot of things. Even if the breakup was meant as a shocker. If your focus is somewhere else, you don't see it. Right now, the mothership is leaking and starting to sink. If Tim keeps his focus on the new project and isn't invested in the current show, the lights will go out sooner rather than later.
Bringing in an established character was probably the biggest mistake Tim could have made if he wasn't meant to stick around. Bring in Mary Sue or Marty Stu to be a LI but not a character with a history that connects to so many people on the show. You can't sideline them forever. Especially as Buck's bi-arc was announced as something big. And it was big. A bit too big to be treated the way it was. The fanbase that had built around TEVAN, or BUCKTOMMY, within weeks, was massive. It drew so many members of the queer community into the show. Suddenly, many of them felt seen. Tommy and Buck were different from the other queer characters out there. Different from what was represented on any other show. People were willing to watch to get the slightest glimpse of them. Because they felt real. Their chemistry shot into the stratosphere.
And then you go and end it on such a horrible note? I don't care if the haters call Tommy a plot device. Everyone on the show is one at some point—even Christopher, Eddie, or anyone else from the main or recurrent cast, Karen, for instance, the Wilson kids. You name it. Tommy Kinard came, saw and conquered. So why not give him more room? They did it with Taylor (yes, I know JLH was pregnant then, but that's reason enough? I doubt it). As I said in my other long post, you could cut in a sequence of 5 minutes and show a summary of Tommy's and Buck's life.
Tim makes the same mistake as many showrunners do. Cramming a shitload of plots into 42 minutes of airtime. Is it really necessary to tell that many stories in such a short amount of time? That feels like speed dating. You blink, and you miss an important scene. Every episode, you jump from plot A to B to A to C to B. We didn't have this fast pacing in season 1 or 2. Stop it. Make Quality plots over quantity stuff.
In Tommy's voice: And for God's sake, clean up that mess you created with that shitty breakup, or the audience will wither away.
I'm sorry. I could write a book about what is happening in my head. You'd get Super Brownie points if you made it here.
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shiftingparadise ¡ 4 months ago
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Only an idiot loses a girl like you (Gojo x you x Nanami)
Hi guys! This is just a quick idea I had in mind. I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: none
Word count: 1295
“Why?”, his head dropped.
Because you never have any time for me.
“Satoru-“, your eyes low. You didn’t mean to hurt him like this, to be insensitive toward his work, but you deserved more. “Are you in love with someone else?”. His voice never sounded so broken. This wasn’t the Satoru you knew. It was only a shell of the man you used to know. “No”, your grip around your bag tightened. “Where are you going?”. “To my old apartment”.
Your mind was made up. You wanted more than this; than what he could give you.
“Don’t do this, please”, desperation fell upon him. He didn’t want you to leave. He loved you, more than anything. “I’m sorry”, a silent tear fell from your cheek. “Don’t be, just stay”, he finally looked up, “We can work through this”.
That’s what you said last time, and the time before that, and before that…
“Satoru, I’m sorry but I… I can’t do this anymore”, you looked into his eyes. “What about Jujutsu High?”, he grabbed the counter behind him. “What about it?”. “We’ll still see each other”. “So?”, your brows pulled together, “Is that all you can think about right now? Work?”.
God, you were so sick of his obsession with his work. Sure, he was the strongest sorcerer and the students needed him, but so did you. Where was he when you needed him?
“Y/N-“, he realised his mistake. “Always thinking about your work”, you chuckled, “You know, I once admired that”. “Please-“, his hand reached out for you knowing it was futile. “But there’s more to life than work. I want someone to take me out to dinner, to surprise me, to go out on dates together. Someone who I can share my life with”, your voice broke. “I will-“, Satoru moved toward you. “It’s too late”, you walked to the door, “You’re too late, Satoru”.
—-
“Are you serious?”, you tilted your head. “You have to believe me!”, Yuji practically jumped from his seat, “It was Gojo-sensei who stole my book. He said he wanted to read in it”.
The worst part of it all was that you knew your student wasn’t lying.
“And your teacher didn’t think about asking a copy from me?”, your words died out as you realised why he didn’t.
The two of you barely spoke to each other after your breakup. Let alone he’d asked you in private for your copy.
“Why did he need it anyway?”, you placed your own copy on your student’s desk. “Let’s see…”, Yuji looked to the ceiling, “Oh, right! He said he needed to know a bit more about certain cursed objects”. “You can give him my copy”, you looked to the whiteboard behind you, “Now pay attention”.
—-
“You seem tired”, Nanami’s voice reached your ears.
You were resting your head on your desk. You didn’t realise, however, that one of your students left the door open after class.
“Those kids… They’re a handful”, you forced a smile as you straightened your back. “You seem a different kind of tired”, he coldly added as he stood in the hallway. “I guess I am”, you softly chuckled as you massaged the back of your neck. “I heard…”, Nanami seemed to doubt for a second, “About you and Satoru”. “Everyone has by now”, you sighed. The blonde stayed quiet, unsure whether to continue. “It’s fine”, you noticed his internal struggle, “It’s better like this”.
—-
“Don’t forget to write your essays!”, you yelled after your students, “And don’t let Gojo-sensei distract you with his stupid missions! Knowledge is important too!”.
You pinched the space between your brows as you heard their ‘yeah yeah’s’. It was obvious they enjoyed Satoru’s course more, but yours was important too. It was wrong of them to disregard your course like this.
“They are a handful”, Nanami’s voice startled you. “They need to study more”, you shook your head, “I understand that Satoru’s style of teaching is more hands-on and fun but they need to know about cursed techniques and cursed tools, about the history… It’s important”. “Give them time”, Nanami entered the classroom. “Here”, he placed a bag on your desk. “What’s this?”. “Food”, he looked to the ceiling, his hands in his pockets, “You’re skipping meals”. “You noticed?”, your eyes widened. “You’ve lost weight”, he brushed through his hair, “Eat”.
You stayed quiet for a second. This was the first time that someone had paid attention to you. That someone had put in the effort to notice you.
“Thanks”, you softly answered. He grabbed a chair and placed it in front of your desk. “Thought we could have lunch together. If you don’t mind”. “N-no, not at all!”, you hastily answered, “I’d like that”.
—-
Satoru wasn’t the only one who noticed the amount of time you spent with Nanami. Even his students noticed.
“Look, look!”, Nobara almost jumped in the air, “Y/N-sensei and Nanami-san are walking together again!”. “They’re just having coffee”, Megumi sighed, “Mind your own business”. “Are they dating?”, Yuji matched Nobara’s energy.
Megumi was the only one who knew about your relationship with Gojo. It wasn’t a secret to the others that worked at Jujutsu High, but it was for the students.
“Gojo-san?”, Megumi tried to distract him, “Can you give me more tips to attract Shinigami?”. “Of course”, Satoru ripped his eyes away from the two of you, “Well, let’s see… Where to start”.
—-
“Everyone did well”, you happily handed them back their assignments, “Please, keep up the good work”. “Y/N-sensei?”, Yuji raised his hand. “Yes?”. “Gojo-sensei gave this back”, he handed back your copy. “Thank you”, you smiled, “Now go on, enjoy your weekend”.
You watched as your students left the classroom.
“Finally, weekend”, you sighed as you picked up your copy. “Huh?”, you watched as a piece of paper fell to the floor.
“I’m sorry about everything. I miss you more than I can take”.
Your heart ached as you recognised Satoru’s handwriting. “It isn’t enough”, you softly whispered to yourself.
“Ready?”, Nanami smiled as he leaned against the door. “Ready”, you hastily put the note away. “You look lovely”, he held out his hand for you to take. “Liar, I look like a mess”. “I’m serious”, his touch felt soft, “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen”.
Your cheeks reddened. It was the first date you agreed to go on. Nanami had been asking you for weeks now, but you always refused. That was until yesterday when he showed up with a bouquet full of your favourite flowers. You still didn’t understand how he knew.
“Nothing too fancy, right?”, you watched as he opened the door of his car for you. “I promise”. “Really? Because I just got off work…”. “Don’t worry”, he sat down behind the wheel, “Here”.
You watched as he grabbed a bag from the backseat.
“We’ll stop at your apartment first. You can change”, he smiled, “If you want too, of course”. “What’s this?”, your heart raced.
You carefully opened the bag, only to find a beautiful dress inside.
“You got this… For me?”, you barely whispered. “I’m sorry”, he started to panic, “I didn’t mean to offend you. You look perfect but I knew you wouldn’t feel comfortable going out with your work clothes, and I wanted to surprise you that’s all-“. “It’s perfect”, you tried not to cry, “I… I don’t know what to say”.
You felt his hand on your thigh. His touch felt kind. Kinder than Satoru’s ever did.
“You can start off by promising me this isn’t our last date”, he gently joked. “You’re an idiot”, you chuckled. “No idiot has a woman like you sitting beside him”, he softly pinched in your thigh, “And only an idiot loses a woman like you”.
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wolsalwastaken ¡ 5 months ago
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So, as you do, I was on the new version of thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and I’ve figured out every. Single. Secret. Code. I. Could.
Now with the help of the community, I am expanding this list! Please post passwords in the comments sections or reblog if I have not yet mentioned them! You will, of course, receive credit for your discoveries! Nerds unite! At the very bottom, you will find a full list of citations I used for the passwords. Any password that is un-cited is one I found myself :)
Spoilers for this version of the website, but I’m mainly posting this as I know it’ll be gone soon. Keep reading at your own discretion, as these are spoilers if you wanted to solve it yourself.
This post will continually be updated as I find new codes and ciphers to solve and new passwords, stay tuned as this is a masterpost of this iteration of the website!
So, here’s all the places to click on screen for Easter eggs:
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And here’s a list of all the different passcodes I’ve found to work on the computer. If multiple words are listed it’s because they activate the same thing. Brackets are not part of the pswd. (c) means that the person I learnt it from is listed below. If there is no (c), then I found it.
Cipher
Triangle (click 3 times)
Bill/Bill Cipher
Stanford/Ford/Sixer
Fiddleford/McGucket
Filbrick
Mason
Dipper (click 5 times)
Mabel (click 12 times)
Wendy
Robbie
Gideon (2 possible results)
The Book Of Bill
Alex Hirsch/Hirsch
Monster
Mystery Shack
TJ Eckleburg
Hey nerd
Divorce/breakup
Theraprism
Soos
Disney/mickey mouse/disneyland (c)
Hectoring
Axolotl
Stanley/Stan (click 8 times)
Gravity Falls
Pines
Geometry/algebra/math/greek/greece/trigonometry/shape (c)
Conspiracy
God/help me/frlliam (c)
Triangle
Ducktective
Waddles
Morality
Portal
Love/boyfriend
(Literally any word of profanity, i.e sex or fuck)/Ted Cruz (c)
Death
Dorito/chip/nacho (c)
Skeleton
Life
Weird
Reality
The universe
Baby/baby bill/lalalalala/mommy/daddy (c)
Rat
Urban legends/horror/creepypasta (c)
Blind eye
Crypto/NFT/gyatt/skibidi/fortnite/Elon/rizz (c)
Journal 3
Journal 2
Journal 1
Theory/that’s just a/matpat (c)
Question
Answer
PiĂąata
FBI/NSA
Blendin Blandin
Abuelita
Weirdmageddon
Toby Determined
History
Sorry
Cursed
They’ll see/they’ll all see/I see
Cryptogram codex
Curse wittebane
Fordtramarine
Disco girl
Ad astra per aspera
Forget the past
Torture mentally
Hotxolotl
Scrimbles
Lies
Paper is book skin
Euclid
Dionarap (c)
Booberry (c)
Unreality (c)
Vallis cineris (c)
Caryn
Euclydia (c)
Scalene (c)
Even his lies are lies (c)
Stodehttcennoc (c)
Emmalinebutternubbins (c)
Dispense my treat
Just fit in (c)
Nothing
Something
Ciphertology (click 2 times)
Well well well being (c) (click 4 times)
One eyed king (c)
Titans blood (c)
Blanchin (c)
Suck it merlin (c)
Tantrum (c)
You can’t kill an idea (c)
Kook (c)
Naitsuaf (c)
Oroborous (c)
Giffany (click 6 times)
Who are you (c)
R34lity
Fixinit1
Love ya bro (c)
Tad strange (c)
Liar lyre (c)
Xgqrthx (c)
Peak (c)
Platinum peak (c)
Glass shard beach (c)
Cray cray (c)
Deer teeth (c)
Season 1 (c)
Season 2 (c)
Season 3 (c)
Gun (c)
Irregular (c)
Seven eyes (c)
Xyler/Craz (c)
Yes (c)
Justblendin (c)
Black sheep (c)
Baaaa (c)
Union made (c)
29121239168518 (c)
Grebley hemberdreck (c)
3466554 (c)
Tinsel snake (c)
333 sun dapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611 (c)
Mountain don't (c)
Riddle (c)
Burnside (c)
No (c)
Llib (c)
When will I die (c) (click once a day)
Clone/paper jam/Tyrone (c)
Multilevel Mark (c)
Goodnight Sally (c)
Tourist trap (c)
The duchess approves (c)
Scientology (c)
Meow (c)
Shave your grandma (c)
Burned inside (c)
Sevral times (c)
Easter egg (c)
Oh yes they both (c)
Kings of new jersey (c)
Destruction is a form of creation (c)
Fuck you Alex/fuck Alex (c)
Rubberhose (c)
Am I blanchin (c)
Card (c)
Bye gold (c)
Globnar (c)
Kubrick (c)
Not a phase (c)
Virus (c)
Spookemups (c)
You're insane (c)
Owl trowl (c)
L is real 2401 (c)
Occurremus iterum (c)
Family matters (c)
Harold’s ramblings (c)
Is hell real (c)
Is there an afterlife (c)
Dippy Fresh (c)
Justblendin (c)
Here’s a link to the entire 15 minute video of me going over all the Easter eggs and codes, so if you don’t wanna bother doing it (fair) then here ya go! Had to post via Instagram because no other social media lets me post long videos, oh well. (As I find more codes, I may make a part 2 video of me solving those on video)
Link here (part 1)
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Credits/sources:
@sage-nebula (Dionarap, vallis cineris)
@dottyistired (Booberry, unreality)
@vlada-elya (Ted Cruz)
@cloudofcaffeine (Euclydia, Scalene)
@putadapower (Even his lies are lies, oroborous)
@dippers101 (Stodehttcennoc, emmalinebutternubbins)
@ren-is-real (Just fit in)
@hopefully-maybe-abby (I see)
@towacletruck (Well well well being, one eyed king, titans blood, blanchin, suck it merlin, tantrum, you can’t kill an idea, kook)
@cskv11 (Naitsuaf)
@eazy-peazy54 (Breakup, gyatt, who are you, r34lity, fixinit1, love ya bro, tad strange, liar lyre, xgqrthx, giffany, peak, platinum pas, glass shard beach, cray cray, help me, deer teeth, lalalalala, season 1, season 2, season 3, Mickey Mouse, gun, irregular, horror, creepy pasta, seven eyes, yes, trigonometry, xyler, craz, justblendin, black sheep, baaaa, skibidi, Fortnite, union made, 29121239168518, grebley hemberdreck, 3466554, tinsel snake, 333 sun dapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611, mountain don't, burnside, riddle, no, llib, when will I die, Elon, clone, multilevel mark, goodnight sally, paper jam, tyrone, tourist trap, the duchess approves, shape, meow, scientology, shave your grandma, nacho, rizz, daddy, mommy, burned inside, sevral times, easter egg, oh yes they both, kings of new jersey, destruction is a form of creation, rubber hose, card, am I blanchin, fuck you Alex, fuck Alex, fuck you, bye gold, nsa, globnar, Disneyland, Kubrick, not a phase, virus, spookemups, that's just a, you're insane, owl trowel, L is real 2401, occurremus iterum, frilliam, family matters, Matpat, Harold’s ramblings)
@delusionalpaper (Is hell real, is there an afterlife)
@thisisnotawebsitedotcom-com (Dippy fresh)
@/soldofficialyt on YouTube, Justblendin
HUGE shoutout to @eazy-peazy54 for providing so many codes! Seriously, thank you so much for your amazing post compiling them!
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ranticore ¡ 5 months ago
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Ok so, what is Inver how can I read it gimmie the sales pitch pspsps pretty please
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This is Inver! It is an alternate history northwest Europe
It's a play on the old region of Doggerland; the North-East Atlantic Archipelago* with sea levels reduced by a catastrophic past event that spread parts of the fairy world out into the real world. This Event also wiped out all human life in the area pictured above, leaving it uninhabited for hundreds of years before it was slowly settled again by people from the land bridge to Hibernia, and people coming up from Aquitan
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As a result of a war between these two groups of people and subsequent cultural exchange, Inver's dominant culture is a Hiberno-French mixture. Br*tain does not and has never existed.
The Event in Inver's history has still left large swathes of this land uninhabitable, with the only way east blocked by the Ruad, a hostile, labyrinthine, and largely impassible fairy territory. This has stifled the ability of these lands to produce much of value; Inver is a poor country, considered a kind of industrial backwater with a monarchy descended marauding werewolf war clans. This paragraph could last literally forever if I liked (and I did like. that's why there's books)
Inver's RĂŠgian Era, roughly equivalent to the Victorian era irl, is the stage for my main book series Moth Viper Foal (#mvf) (links are to the books & the tag on my art blog). It is an era of great change in Inver; much of the capital city is ruled by criminal gangs and a foreign church while the great noble houses, having lost touch with their people, turn on one another for sport. The story follows the sequence of events that ultimately results in catastrophic change for everybody in the region, and the dawn of a new era (that's as vague as i can make it)
But really it's about the (gay) struggles of outgrowing your relationships, setting higher standards for yourself, and all the various ways someone can fail to be a man. Main (POV) characters are three ex-conmen & one DLC extra nobleman. Before the start of the story, a catastrophic argument between two of the guys precedes one of them (FĂŠlix) getting kidnapped by the Black Horse, a fairy. He is returned five years later, a servant of the horse, to find that his friends (and ex-friends) have changed completely in his absence, and his old life is done for good.
I'm very bad at summaries so idk really. It's a story about interpersonal drama and friend breakups between some guys and also fairies are there. It's all i think about. Every other setting & post on this blog not about Inver was made as a kind of mental break from thinking about Inver. I've been working on it since 2019
you can check the overall tag to see posts from both my blogs including some very nice art and some absolutely heinous AUs (Pern Story among them??? maybe. idk if i tagged it)
also there's two more stories set in Inver, Ancient Inver which is a telling of the wars that founded the country and also an exploration of Being FTM, and also Modern Inver which is set in the distant future of 2017 and it's a buddy cop/detective thriller about a ranger investigating a series of supernatural kidnappings with the help of the guy who did most of them.
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intothedysphoria ¡ 2 months ago
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Being autistic felt like some big joke.
After barely scraping by a pass from high school, Claudia had threatened to sue the school board. She ranted about Steve not being given the proper support for his exams and after some very scary phone calls, Steve was booked in for an assessment. He came away with gems like:
“Steve is an excessively literal thinker. He does not consider the nuance in instructions or conversation”
“Steve is able to articulate himself well but his handwriting and spelling are poor”
“When I asked Steve about his interests, he talked about basketball for twenty minutes. He got very upset when prompted to change topic.”
The assessment came back. Autism. ADHD. Dyslexia. Dysgraphia. Auditory processing disorder. Steve retook his exams, with accommodations in place, and did much better. He wasn’t into like Yale or anything but it was a pretty ok school.
The one primary drawback was that now he had to attend an autism and disability group every week. For support. So now every single one of his classmates knew that Steve was disabled.
There was one other problem in the group.
Billy Hargrove was fucking phenomenal. He wore double denim, had battle patches on his jacket and his special interest was politics in punk and metal. Really, he was just Steve’s type. Well, from the looks of it he was everyones type.
Billy’s phone was constantly blowing up. He got a steady stream of Instagram dms, Snapchat messages, Twitter replies. It honestly looked exhausting. Not even at the peak of King Steve had Steve ever been that popular.
Then there was the fact that Billy was just a genuinely decent dude. He got angry quickly but that was linked to his autism. Mainly, he just tried to talk to Steve about stuff that Steve really didn’t understand.
The flirting started in earnest after the Christmas break.
Everyone had watched Billy’s breakup with Eddie Munson. The adjective Steve was drawn to use was loud. They were very loud and interrupted Steve’s nightly rewatch of Brooklyn 99.
Billy was very obviously going through something. They’d been together for like three years and that shit sucked. Steve knew that from experience.
What Steve found himself extremely ill equipped to do was answer the message “hey baby 😉😉😉.”
Some variation of that message would drop itself into Steve’s notifications everyday for 9 days. Steve didn’t know how to feel about that.
Sure, Billy was like the recipe for dream boyfriend but Billy was just bouncing around, looking for a rebound. Steves therapist had told him to stop people pleasing so he just didn’t answer for a bit.
Then the messages stopped.
Billy walked into the next meeting looking throughly embarrassed and mumbled a “sorry Harrington” before staring resolutely at the board.
That wasn’t exactly the outcome Steve had wanted either.
Heather, Billy’s best friend, looked like she wanted to slam their heads into a wall. Which was very weird.
She invited Steve to her Valentines Day party, which was even weirder. Steve would never turn down an opportunity to dance to the Backstreet Boys though.
He went dressed in his old Scoops Ahoy uniform, because he was bored and horny, and the first thing he saw was Billy in a red speedo and nothing else.
Steve did not have to excuse himself but it was a close call.
Heather seemed unintested in the actual party and spent most of the time interrogating Steve on his dating history before shoving him into the bathroom and locking the door.
There was an undertone of furious conversation outside before Heather, seemingly reluctantly, unlocked it.
Billy was standing in front of him and Steve tried his damndest not to just stare at his chest.
“Hi”
Why the fuck couldn’t Steve stop staring?
And why was Heather physically pushing them closer together?
Billy cleared his throat and Steve unconsciously gripped at his arms.
Who actually made the move was debatable but Steve found himself in Billy’s arms, shoving his tongue down Billy’s throat.
Maybe not a rebound then.
@shieldofiron @oopsiedaisiesbaby @harringroveobsessed
(Just wanted to quickly post this because I lost the original draft and would be frustrated if I didn’t finish it)
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myrrh1806 ¡ 5 months ago
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BILL CIPHER LORE
Type wellwellwellbeing and click it three times.....you get to see three excerpts from Bill's files at theraprism.
( context : The axolotl sends bill to therapy after season 2 finale )
Type seven eyes to get a picture of one of bill's friends ?......There is a message at the back too ( a warning)
type cipher to see Bill hidden in history ( prolly canon...)
type ad astra per aspera ( ford's journal 1-2 pages about bill's statue)
type robbie ( bill makes an appearance in a photo, also Thompson hates his toxic friend but beggars can't be choosers )
type Dorito ( Wait till the end. You see Bill's true form )
type shave your grandma ( Bill's view on humanity. Its pretty funny)
type stan and click 6 times ( You get to play a game with bill and uncover granule Stan's secret shame)
type dipper and repeatedly click ( Bill basically trolls him. Its funny. Also something at the end after the paper is burnt )
type love for.........well, its almost every fanfic of bill in ao3. ( The image made me do a spit take )
type r34lity ( pics of bill's minions in their new homes.....crptos stands next to a drawing of bill. Dunno what that means....maybe he misses him ? Prolly mocking him, though)
type oroborous ( Sixer had a pet axolotl and Bill wasn't very happy )
type irregular ( Bill's mugshots )
type vallis cineris ( baby bill )
type tourist trap ( bill's in it.....might have to examine this pics further. could be some clue ?)
type bubble and turn the knob ( backward message says :“The Sky is on fire. Everything is burning. How could this happen? You killed us all. Remember us. Someone help, the murderer's name is Bill.” Prolly the dying screams of flatland before bill.....you know.)
type destruction is a form of creation ( rambling of fiddle ford after he peeked into the portal and saw bill.....could be clues in there )
type say baaaa ( Bill acts like Sta- a conman )
type naitsuaf ( you get to make a deal with bill )
type hectoring ( songsposition )
type weirdmageddon ( proof that the people of gravity falls are either in denial of the apocalypse or forgot )
type tantrum ( bill vs time baby )
type scary ( knockoff goosebumps audiobook bill made. Man, Bill and Stanley have a lot in common from the conman angle. They could have been friends....in another timeline *sigh* )
type goodnight sally ( no lore but, its a cool bill t- shirt )
type even his lies are lies ( Bill's pov when sixer still trusted him - bill is talking to his therapist)
type suck it merlin ( bill throughout history )
type black sheep ( Bill's a jerkwad )
type cursed ( Bill is a bad influence )
type card ( another one of bill's 'ventures' )
type one eyed king ( bill tries to hypnotise you )
type forget the past ( its a colour code for the smart ones out there....it would be awesome someone solved it, ig )
type lies ( you see how bill lies to himself......his therapist should take notes)
type monster ( how bill views himself )
type breakup ( shows you the bar bill drank at after ending things with Ford )
type Kubrick ( Bill caught on camera )
type hey nerd ( Bill 'ventures'. Don't buy anything from that catalog !)
type booberry ( welcome to bill's ted talk. nil, he actually gave solid advice if you ignore the projecting )
type fordtramarine ( describes a color only people who have come in contact with bill or other extra dimensional entities can see )
type hotxolotl ( info about bill and his henchmaniacs after his defeat )
type morality ( bill's philosophy )
type you cant kill an idea ( leads to bill's pyramid scheme ciphertology)
type emmaline butter nubbins ( you get to download illustrations of bill from the book of bill without text. Pretty cool )
type piĂąata ( bill gets beat up by a little girl. )
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macrolit ¡ 1 year ago
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NYT's Notable Books of 2023
Each year, we pore over thousands of new books, seeking out the best novels, memoirs, biographies, poetry collections, stories and more. Here are the standouts, selected by the staff of The New York Times Book Review.
AFTER SAPPHO by Selby Wynn Schwartz
Inspired by Sappho’s work, Schwartz’s debut novel offers an alternate history of creativity at the turn of the 20th century, one that centers queer women artists, writers and intellectuals who refused to accept society’s boundaries.
ALL THE SINNERS BLEED by S.A. Cosby
In his earlier thrillers, Cosby worked the outlaw side of the crime genre. In his new one — about a Black sheriff in a rural Southern town, searching for a serial killer who tortures Black children — he’s written a crackling good police procedural.
THE BEE STING by Paul Murray
In Murray’s boisterous tragicomic novel, a once wealthy Irish family struggles with both the aftermath of the 2008 financial crash and their own inner demons.
BIOGRAPHY OF X by Catherine Lacey
Lacey rewrites 20th-century U.S. history through the audacious fictional life story of X, a polarizing female performance artist who made her way from the South to New York City’s downtown art scene.
BIRNAM WOOD by Eleanor Catton
In this action-packed novel from a Booker Prize winner, a collective of activist gardeners crosses paths with a billionaire doomsday prepper on land they each want for different purposes.
BLACKOUTS by Justin Torres
This lyrical, genre-defying novel — winner of the 2023 National Book Award — explores what it means to be erased and how to persist after being wiped away.
BRIGHT YOUNG WOMEN by Jessica Knoll
In her third and most assured novel, Knoll shifts readers’ attention away from a notorious serial killer, Ted Bundy, and onto the lives — and deaths — of the women he killed. Perhaps for the first time in fiction, Knoll pooh-poohs Bundy's much ballyhooed intelligence, celebrating the promise and perspicacity of his victims instead.
CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
This satire — in which prison inmates duel on TV for a chance at freedom — makes readers complicit with the bloodthirsty fans sitting ringside. The fight scenes are so well written they demonstrate how easy it might be to accept a world this sick.
THE COVENANT OF WATER by Abraham Verghese
Verghese’s first novel since “Cutting for Stone” follows generations of a family across 77 years in southwestern India as they contend with political strife and other troubles — capped by a shocking discovery made by the matriarch’s granddaughter, a doctor.
CROOK MANIFESTO by Colson Whitehead
Returning to the world of his novel “Harlem Shuffle,” Whitehead again uses a crime story to illuminate a singular neighborhood at a tipping point — here, Harlem in the 1970s.
THE DELUGE by Stephen Markley
Markley’s second novel confronts the scale and gravity of climate change, tracking a cadre of scientists and activists from the gathering storm of the Obama years to the super-typhoons of future decades. Immersive and ambitious, the book shows the range of its author’s gifts: polyphonic narration, silken sentences and elaborate world-building.
EASTBOUND by Maylis de Kerangal
In de Kerangal’s brief, lyrical novel, translated by Jessica Moore, a young Russian soldier on a trans-Siberian train decides to desert and turns to a civilian passenger, a Frenchwoman, for help.
EMILY WILDE’S ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF FAERIES by Heather Fawcett
The world-building in this tale of a woman documenting a new kind of faerie is exquisite, and the characters are just as textured and richly drawn. This is the kind of folkloric fantasy that remembers the old, blood-ribboned source material about sacrifices and stolen children, but adds a modern gloss.
ENTER GHOST by Isabella Hammad
In Hammad’s second novel, a British Palestinian actor returns to her hometown in Israel to recover from a breakup and spend time with her family. Instead, she’s talked into joining a staging of “Hamlet” in the West Bank, where she has a political awakening.
FORBIDDEN NOTEBOOK by Alba de CÊspedes
A best-selling novelist and prominent anti-Fascist in her native Italy, de CĂŠspedes has lately fallen into unjust obscurity. Translated by Ann Goldstein, this elegant novel from the 1950s tells the story of a married mother, Valeria, whose life is transformed when she begins keeping a secret diary.
THE FRAUD by Zadie Smith
Based on a celebrated 19th-century trial in which the defendant was accused of impersonating a nobleman, Smith’s novel offers a vast panoply of London and the English countryside, and successfully locates the social controversies of an era in a handful of characters.
FROM FROM by Monica Youn
In her fourth book of verse, a svelte, intrepid foray into American racism, Youn turns a knowing eye on society’s love-hate relationship with what it sees as the “other.”
A GUEST IN THE HOUSE by Emily Carroll
After a lonely young woman marries a mild-mannered widower and moves into his home, she begins to wonder how his first wife actually died. This graphic novel alternates between black-and-white and overwhelming colors as it explores the mundane and the horrific.
THE HEAVEN & EARTH GROCERY STORE by James McBride
McBride’s latest, an intimate, big-hearted tale of community, opens with a human skeleton found in a well in the 1970s, and then flashes back to the past, to the ’20s and ’30s, to explore the town’s Black, Jewish and immigrant history.
HELLO BEAUTIFUL by Ann Napolitano
In her radiant fourth novel, Napolitano puts a fresh spin on the classic tale of four sisters and the man who joins their family. Take “Little Women,” move it to modern-day Chicago, add more intrigue, lots of basketball and a different kind of boy next door and you’ve got the bones of this thoroughly original story.
A HISTORY OF BURNING by Janika Oza
This remarkable debut novel tells the story of an extended Indo-Ugandan family that is displaced, settled and displaced again.
HOLLY by Stephen King
The scrappy private detective Holly Gibney (who appeared in “The Outsider” and several other novels) returns, this time taking on a missing-persons case that — in typical King fashion — unfolds into a tale of Dickensian proportions.
A HOUSE FOR ALICE by Diana Evans
This polyphonic novel traces one family’s reckoning after the patriarch dies in a fire, as his widow, a Nigerian immigrant, considers returning to her home country and the entire family re-examines the circumstances of their lives.
THE ILIAD by Homer
Emily Wilson’s propulsive new translation of the “Iliad” is buoyant and expressive; she wants this version to be read aloud, and it would certainly be fun to perform.
INK BLOOD SISTER SCRIBE by Emma TÜrzs
The sisters in TĂśrzs's delightful debut have been raised to protect a collection of magic books that allow their keepers to do incredible things. Their story accelerates like a fugue, ably conducted to a tender conclusion.
KAIROS by Jenny Erpenbeck
This tale of a torrid, yearslong relationship between a young woman and a much older married man — translated from the German by Michael Hofmann — is both profound and moving.
KANTIKA by Elizabeth Graver
Inspired by the life of Graver’s maternal grandmother, this exquisitely imagined family saga spans cultures and continents as it traces the migrations of a Sephardic Jewish girl from turn-of-the-20th-century Constantinople to Barcelona, Havana and, finally, Queens, N.Y.
LAND OF MILK AND HONEY by C Pam Zhang
Zhang’s lush, keenly intelligent novel follows a chef who’s hired to cook for an “elite research community” in the Italian Alps, in a not-so-distant future where industrial-agricultural experiments in America’s heartland have blanketed the globe in a crop-smothering smog.
LONE WOMEN by Victor LaValle
The year is 1915, and the narrator of LaValle’s horror-tinged western has arrived in Montana to cultivate an unforgiving homestead. She’s looking for a fresh start as a single Black woman in a sparsely populated state, but the locked trunk she has in stow holds a terrifying secret.
MONICA by Daniel Clowes
In Clowes’s luminous new work, the titular character, abandoned by her mother as a child, endures a life of calamities before resolving to learn about her origins and track down her parents.
THE MOST SECRET MEMORY OF MEN by Mohamed Mbougar Sarr
Based on a true story and translated by Lara Vergnaud, Sarr’s novel — about a Senegalese writer brought low by a plagiarism scandal — asks sharp questions about the state of African literature in the West.
THE NEW NATURALS by Gabriel Bump
In Bump’s engrossing new novel, a young Black couple, mourning the loss of their newborn daughter and disillusioned with the world, start a utopian society — but tensions both internal and external soon threaten their dreams.
NORTH WOODS by Daniel Mason
Mason’s novel looks at the occupants of a single house in Massachusetts over several centuries, from colonial times to present day. An apple farmer, an abolitionist, a wealthy manufacturer: The book follows these lives and many others, with detours into natural history and crime reportage.
NOT EVEN THE DEAD by Juan Gómez Bårcena
An ex-conquistador in Spanish-ruled, 16th-century Mexico is asked to hunt down an Indigenous prophet in this novel by a leading writer in Spain, splendidly translated by Katie Whittemore. The epic search stretches across much of the continent and, as the author bends time and history, lasts centuries.
THE NURSERY by Szilvia Molnar
“I used to be a translator and now I am a milk bar.” So begins Molnar’s brilliant novel about a new mother falling apart within the four walls of her apartment.
OUR SHARE OF NIGHT by Mariana Enriquez
This dazzling, epic narrative, translated from the Spanish by Megan McDowell, is a bewitching brew of mystery and myth, peopled by mediums who can summon “the Darkness” for a secret society of wealthy occultists seeking to preserve consciousness after death.
PINEAPPLE STREET by Jenny Jackson
Jackson’s smart, dishy debut novel embeds readers in an upper-crust Brooklyn Heights family — its real estate, its secrets, its just-like-you-and-me problems. Does money buy happiness? “Pineapple Street” asks a better question: Does it buy honesty?
THE REFORMATORY by Tananarive Due
Due’s latest — about a Black boy, Robert, who is wrongfully sentenced to a fictionalized version of Florida’s infamous and brutal Dozier School — is both an incisive examination of the lingering traumas of racism and a gripping, ghost-filled horror novel. “The novel’s extended, layered denouement is so heart-smashingly good, it made me late for work,” Randy Boyagoda wrote in his review. “I couldn’t stop reading.”
THE SAINT OF BRIGHT DOORS by Vajra Chandrasekera
Trained to kill by his mother and able to see demons, the protagonist of Chandrasekera’s stunning and lyrical novel flees his destiny as an assassin and winds up in a politically volatile metropolis.
SAME BED DIFFERENT DREAMS by Ed Park
Double agents, sinister corporations, slasher films, U.F.O.s — Park’s long-awaited second novel is packed to the gills with creative elements that enliven his acerbic, comedic and lyrical odyssey into Korean history and American paranoia.
TAKE WHAT YOU NEED by Idra Novey
This elegant novel resonates with implication beyond the taut contours of its central story line. In Novey’s deft hands, the complex relationship between a young woman and her former stepmother hints at the manifold divisions within America itself.
THIS OTHER EDEN by Paul Harding
In his latest novel, inspired by the true story of a devastating 1912 eviction in Maine that displaced an entire mixed-race fishing community, Harding turns that history into a lyrical tale about the fictional Apple Island on the cusp of destruction.
TOM LAKE by Ann Patchett
Locked down on the family’s northern Michigan cherry orchard, three sisters and their mother, a former actress whose long-ago summer fling went on to become a movie star, reflect on love and regret in Patchett’s quiet and reassuring Chekhovian novel.
THE UNSETTLED by Ayana Mathis
This novel follows three generations across time and place: a young mother trying to create a home for herself and her son in 1980s Philadelphia, and her mother, who is trying to save their Alabama hometown from white supremacists seeking to displace her from her land.
VICTORY CITY by Salman Rushdie
Rushdie’s new novel recounts the long life of Pampa Kampana, who creates an empire from magic seeds in 14th-century India. Her world is one of peace, where men and women are equal and all faiths welcome, but the story Rushdie tells is of a state that forever fails to live up to its ideals.
WE COULD BE SO GOOD by Cat Sebastian
This queer midcentury romance — about reporters who meet at work, become friends, move in together and fall in love — lingers on small, everyday acts like bringing home flowers with the groceries, things that loom large because they’re how we connect with others.
WESTERN LANE by Chetna Maroo
In this polished and disciplined debut novel, an 11-year-old Jain girl in London who has just lost her mother turns her attention to the game of squash — which in Maroo’s graceful telling becomes a way into the girl’s grief.
WITNESS by Jamel Brinkley
Set in Brooklyn, and featuring animal rescue workers, florists, volunteers, ghosts and UPS workers, Brinkley’s new collection meditates on what it means to see and be seen.
Y/N by Esther Yi
In this weird and wondrous novel, a bored young woman in thrall to a boy band buys a one-way ticket to Seoul.
YELLOWFACE by R.F. Kuang
Kuang’s first foray outside of the fantasy genre is a breezy and propulsive tale about a white woman who achieves tremendous literary success by stealing a manuscript from a recently deceased Asian friend and passing it off as her own.
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thisnameisquitequeer ¡ 6 months ago
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Been seeing some criticisms of Stolas from the last two eps that I’m just like…did we watch the same show?
Disclaimer before I begin; I think both parties have made mistakes and both need to grow. I am only focusing on Stolas bc people seem to give Blitzø the benefit of the doubt/understand his actions in a way they seem unwilling to do so for Stolas
Going through different opinions I’ve seen:
- “Stolas is abusive bc he forces Blitzø into sex work/he threatens Blitzø’s business to get sex”
I do agree that Stolas creating the Full Moon transaction wasn’t great, and their relationship could never be more than sex until that was dropped. HOWEVER Blitzø is not blameless in that situation. He is the person who snuck into Stolas’ house and seduced him bc he wanted to steal from him. Blitzø’s business is based off of using Stolas’ stolen property. You could argue that it shouldn’t belong to Stolas or that imps are treated so lowly in society Blitzø had no other choice? But asking for the book back isn’t “threatening Blitzø’s business” it’s…getting back what he stole so Stolas can do his job
- “Stolas is abusive bc of the power/class difference in their relationship”
I do think the class difference is something they’ll have to overcome but I would call it a character flaw of Stolas more than abusive. We do see him condescend to Blitzø earlier in their relationship in Lululand and Truthseekers but I’d argue that is more to do with Stolas being incredibly sheltered and too lovesick from his first relationship. I’d argue this is an earlier element of their relationship that there may still be some work left to do but by the breakup I don’t think is there as much. I think Blitzø externalizes a lot of his insecurities onto Stolas’ perception of him, but it’s mostly that a projection
-“Stolas is at fault for the break up bc he wouldn’t hear Blitzø out/bc he projected Blitzø outside his house”
The breakup is both their fault but I don’t think this is really fair. Yes, Stolas was so busy rehearsing his lines that it didn’t occur to him that Blitzø might need a minute to react or might feel like Stolas’ feelings came out of nowhere. But we don’t always react perfectly when we’re upset or hurt. I don’t think Stolas really believed Blitzø would say yes. A part of him probably hoped, really wanted to think Blitzø would but he was probably expecting a rejection. And to not only be rejected but to be mocked with the words you most want to hear after you’ve just been vulnerable…I would probably walk away from that situation too. Did Blitz start to realize at the end that he fucked up and Stolas was serious? Sure, after he screamed a bunch of insults at Stolas and made him cry. We as the audience know Blitzø’s history and saw him change at the last second but Stolas doesn’t and had his back to him so couldn’t see his expression soften. Also Stolas has lived close to 20 years with a wife who always screams and belittles him so I don’t blame him for not wanting to hear Blitzø out after that
-“Blitzø tried to apologize and Stolas wouldn’t hear him out”
Except…no he didn’t? Sure at the very end of Full Moon he attempts a last minute sorry but only after he’s pushed Stolas so far. He could’ve tried to text Stolas an apology or he could’ve tried to apologize when they were by the pool in apology tour but he doesn’t. At that point he’s still just trying to pretend everything is fine between them and get back to sex with Stolas bc he believes that’s the only reason Stolas likes him and if he can only give Stolas a good lay everything will go back to how it was. Blitzø doesn’t want to apologize, he wants to reset the status quo and Stolas won’t let him.
-“Stolas being upset in Apology Tour came out of nowhere/is bad writing bc he only cared about Blitzø for sex before”
I’m sorry…did we watch the same show? Sure, Stolas is a bit horny on main for Blitzø in the first 2 eps but that’s bc this is his first relationship and he’s excited. But as early as the Harvest Moon Festival he’s wanting to spend time with Blitzø and talk to him more. From then on he’s trying very hard to connect with Blitzø and keeps being shut down. If Full Moon had been Blitzø’s first rejection of Stolas you could maaaaybe see Stolas’ reaction as overkill but not with everything we’ve seen of their relationship and is shown in Stolas’ apology song. The only reason you could think Stolas felt nothing for Blitzø is if you took everything Blitzø said at face value and he is shown by Fizz’s reactions and Stolas’ actions to have a skewed perspective
TLDR; Stolas is not blameless but the way some fans maliciously interpret all of his actions just doesn’t square with the text of the show
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lesb0 ¡ 3 days ago
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year end reflection post
I didn't realize the woman I needed to become would cost every single thing about who I was
I'm 31 now. My skin is young and smooth but my bones and muscles feel tired and slow
I left everything and everyone I've known, with an immense amount of childhood trauma, behind
I've built true community around me from total strangers
I've been through 1 overdue breakup and dated a lot of women and lesbians since
I've gone through 3 groups of friends and one big stab in the back
I've gotten feedback from trusted mentors that didn't feel great, but I really needed: "be more assertive and aggressive"
I've met 4 of my art history heroes and navigated my emerging career in a really big, validating way
I've attended 3 conferences, 8 curator lectures, 5 opening reception/museum parties, and 1 symposium. I've given 2 talks
I've had 3 classrooms of students and several privately tutored families and TAed 2 courses
I've gone to 14 new-to-me museums, 11 were art museums
I've researched so much. Too many articles to count. read 27 complete academic books and 0 of the fiction books I wanted to
I've gotten 4 official researcher ID access cards and only one photo turned out good
I've made more money than I've ever had in my life. I am broke 90% of the time
I've stopped buying new makeup and clothes. started buying fragrances
I began listening to baroque music in an academic way, merging my taste with my field
I've gone to 52 concerts (half at a 2 day festival, half at the local arts museum stage venue in front of my apartment) and 0 were old music!
I've traveled 6500 miles and left the city 19 times.
I have clear goals set for this time next year. Very excited. After that, I don't know! Leave the country? It's all very scary. It's all very exciting.
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equallyshaw ¡ 11 months ago
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home, at last. | luke hughes ↠ can be read as a standalone, but first part. ↠ warnings: smoking and maybe a swear word? ↠ word count: 3.0K
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over the past two years, blair and luke had grown up immensely. luke also finished his degree in kinesiology and blair had finished hers in art history at the university of glasgow, after transferring from umich. after graduation, she cut her hair, got layers, and added highlights; something she had always wanted to but was too nervous about it. she also dawned a new wardrobe, and honestly - a demeanor. more reserved, and quiet. after returning to edinburgh to be with her parents and her childhood friends, she outgrew that outgoing and sporadic personality and was now more tamed. after her and Luke’s breakup, it seemed only fitting to work on herself for herself. no one else. she just didn't expect herself to find herself flying to new york for a job interview, for lead coordinator at the metropolitan museum - aka the met. when she went to go book her ticket, she giggled to herself knowing that she had foolishly kept the money that luke had sent over when they broke up, thinking that she'd need it for a rainy day and not a plane ticket. her parents though, thought it was the universe trying to tell her something but she brushed it off, even as her friend group told her the same exact thing.
once she was off the plane and checked in at the soho house- in the meatpacking district she and a friend from michigan were on their way to dinner. they secured an uber and were off as quickly as they could, but with nyc traffic at 7 pm- it would be a hike.
_
the two had been eating their charcuterie board over a bottle of wine, when jessica- her friend saw who had walked in. she swallowed hard, looking back at blair who hadn't noticed. "but are you 100% on moving here? or you're just seeing whatever the met says and if you get any other offers?" and blair shrugged. "honestly yeah, just weighing my options." she said sipping more wine, "im gonna head to the bar to get a martini. need anything?" she questioned and jessica shook her head. blair stood up, turning on her heel and towards the bar. she weaved in and out of the aisle, not aware of her surroundings and who was in them. she slid up to the bar and smiled at the bartender who took her drink quickly, and was off to make it. she knocked her knuckles on the bar a few times before she heard the nasily and infamous voice, "if it isn't miss britain." she heard jack hughes snarl playfully. she rolled her eyes as she looked over, and took in how much he had matured since she'd seen him last. and for the first time in his life, he'd apparently learned how to take care of his dark curls.
"you know im not british, wanker." she taunted before taking the martini from the bartender. "oh i know, i couldn't pass up the opportunity to say it again, like old times." he said cheekily and she rolled her eyes once more sipping some of the cold drink. "he's here right now, if that's what you are wondering." he said stepping a foot closer towards the girl. she looked up at him with a look, jack could not totally decipher. she nodded, before turning to walk away. he grabbed her free arm softly and she looked back at him, "you really hurt him b. really badly. even then, he still misses you." he said softly and she shook her head before turning to walk away.
she felt like she couldn't breathe. this black, long sleeve turtle neck body suit was suffocating her. she made it back to the table and set her drink, "im gonna go outside for a sec." she said grabbing her bag without waiting for a response from her friend. her friend watched her walk out in concern, then look towards the hughes and co table who too, watched her walk out.
yeah blair knew this was a bad habit to have, but only reserved it for certain moments. it was something she took on, after the two had broken up. call it influence, by the city of edinburgh. she pulled out a cigarette from her purse and quickly lit it. she leaned against the wall that was half a block down and away from the main street. she felt herself slowly coming down from her anxiety attack, and felt herself begin to feel somewhat light again. people walked past her in both directions in the meatpacking district, and the distraction and noise were plentiful and exactly what she needed. she closed her eyes for a few seconds before hearing snicker beside her. her eyes whipped open quickly and searched for the source. she sighed when she met luke's eyes, and shook her head. she breathed in one last puff, before dropping it to the ground and stepping on it.
"i never took you as one to ever smoke, blair." he said and now it was her turn to snicker. "im not the same girl, luke." she mimicked his tone, crossing her arms across her chest. he shook his head trying to find words to say. "im not the same that that i once was, sorry luke." she said beginning to walk past him. he turned around quickly, grabbing ahold of her arm softly. she stopped, looked at his hand then back at him, and she saw the tears pool the familiar shade of hazel. "you came." he said softer and she nodded while tears pooled her own eyes. "but not for the reason you think." she said untangling her arm from his hand while breaking both of their hearts in the process. she began her descent back towards the restaurant and saw her friend Jessica, standing outside the restaurant with their coats. "wanna head back to my place?" she questioned and blair nodded profusely.
leaving a sad luke in her wake.
_
two days later she was walking out of the met museum with a smile on her face and quickly called her mom and dad back home. "hi hun-" she cut her mom off, "i got the job!!!" she beamed while sitting down on the cold, marble steps in front of the museum. her mom and dad cheered loudly on the other side and she could not help but laugh. "you two alright im not coming back, right?" she questioned and her mom laughed. "ofcourse not love, new york is where you're meant to be! we'll always be here if you ever need to want to come home." her mom said and that made her heart swell. "do you have a place already or?" her mom questioned and the girl nodded. "yeah! jessica actually has an extra bedroom she's been trying to find somebody to rent so ill be with her for some time on the east side." she said smiling. "oh love, we are so proud of you! truly." her dad said and she nodded, "i love you both. ill send you details for the rest of my stuff, alright?" she confirmed and then they hung up.
she sighed, stood up, and began her descent back toward her new shared apartment. once
as soon as she walked through the door, she was speechless. she thought her friend was going to be at work and definitely not at the apartment and with somebody. "oh my god, blair!" jessica said standing up and making her way over. "how'd it go?" she questioned trying to gauge the girl's reaction. the Scottish girl could not get over the fact that luke's teammate was in the same vicinity as her. she could not look away from the blonde boy, who was stunned as well. "uh i i got it." she mumbled, heading over towards her bedroom and shut her door. as blair sat down at her vanity to unwind and remove her hair/ makeup, dawson explained how they knew one another. dawson and the girl got along well once luke came over for playoffs and had enjoyed facetiming the two during finals. blair heard the apartment door close before a knock came at her's.
jessica didn't wait for a response before opening the door, and peeking her head in before sitting down on the bed. "i didn't know, i promise. he never said anything, i can stop seeing him if-" but blair waved her off. she turned around in the vanity chair and smiled, "i don't care that you two are together. not at all, i was just shocked. you hadn't said anything or given any clues and therefore i was shocked but if you're happy, im happy." she smiled before walking over and wrapping her arms around the red head. jessica smiled, "im so glad i kept bothering you while you went back home." she mused and blair giggled. "me too, even though i hated the time difference." blair joked before pulling away. "now go call dawson back up here, i wanna say hi to him." and jessica didn't need to be told twice.
_
it was like time had never passed for dawson and blair, who hit it off well again. jessica's heart swelled at the sight of it. dawson caught up with how blair had been, what she'd been up to the past almost three years and jessica and he explained how long they'd been talking for, and then how long they'd been exclusive. "you got THE job?" dawson questioned and blair nodded softly. "oh my god, this is huge!" he said excitedly as she blushed. when luke and her had been together for that short period in jersey, luke had explained that she had wanted to work at the met or a nearby museum but the met was the end goal for her. and now here she was, freshly graduated and extra ready for the role.
"does luke know?" was the next question out of his mouth and blair swallowed harshly. she shook her head no, "no he does not. he doesn't even know im still here. he probably hasn't even thought about me or does in general." she said sipping some of her fresh expresso she had made. he laughed, "oh bless your heart." he said and jessica slapped his arm a little too harshly, "that's NOT what that means daws." she said while dawson looked confused. "its an insult babe." jessica explained more before dawson began to apologize. "its all good! but he does not think about me dawson, don't lie." she said sighing. dawson shook his head, "you'd never think you two had been broken up. he keeps up with you on social media, yknow? has asked jessica questions without any luck and has asked people back at michigan ive heard." dawson explained, and blair's eyebrows creased. "youre pulling my foot." she said and he shook his head, "its true. it can be a lot sometimes." jessica said butting in. blair sighed leaning back into the couch more, "ive moved on guys, there's never gonna be an 'us' again. im confidant he would say the same thing." she said sighing, "who's money did you use to get your ticket?" jessica asked cheekily. she looked over at jessica with a bit of a glare, "you mean the infamous money transfer?!" dawson asked and jessica laughed. blair put her face in her hands in embarrassment as jesscia and dawson gushed about the money. "if he knew that you used his money to get a one way ticket here, he'd ask you to marry him the second he found out." dawson gushed and blair sighed, not particularly fond of their attitudes but brushed them off.
_
it was a month later, when jessica was able to convince blair to go to a devils hockey game. dawson had always said that if she wanted to join jessica, he would get her ticket far away from the ice so luke couldn't or lets be honest, jack is more to worry about than luke. so they found themselves in the balcony, in the furthest 200's you could get. blair was very set on not having luke or jack or anybody else recognize her. the two sat down in one of the first rows, and got comfortable. "when was the last game you went to again?" jessica questioned softly and blair thought for a second, "whatever the last home game was during the Carolina series." blair said shrugging while jessica nodded. "they've come a long way since then. the season afterwards was apparently rough dawson said, last year the got better and this year their really good. finally back in the cup talks apparently." jessica mentioned and blair nodded. "this feel like old times, us at the yost and what not." jessica mused sipping her drink and blair chuckled. "except this time you're dating a player and im just along for the ride." she laughed and jessica nodded. "oh! its starting." she said as the players began to filter out for the anthem.
it was hard not to find luke as soon as he filtered out, and blair found herself in a trance. jessica looked on from beside her, and couldn't help but have a small grin on her face. blair would go to the end's of the earth exhaustingly, and attempt to never ever, confess that she still loved the curly haired boy.
_
the devils ended up beating the flyers 5-3 with luke and dawson both getting a goal in the game. jessica and blair waited back in the balcony before heading down and going to a certain part of the arena to wait for dawson. "usually we meet in the girlfriend and family's box but dawson said to meet here, away from there." jessica explained and blair nodded. blair leaned against the wall, her left leg shaking with nerves. "do you want a smoke?" jessica questioned and blair shook her head, "nah imma wait till we get back and i can sit on the balcony." she said shutting her eyes softly. jessica nodded, "i know, i know its a bad habit. save me the lecture, luke already tried giving me one. i don't need two in a short period of time." and jessica giggled. "yeah im def not the one to judge or give you one." jessica said as she caught dawson walking towards them. "hey babe." blair heard beside her and saw dawson and jessica hugging. "great game!" blair said giving dawson a quick hug, "thanks b." he smiled before pulling jessica's hand into his and the three began to make their way out of the arena. "some of the guys are going out for dinner, wanna join?" he questioned jessica and then looked at blair behind them. she waved him off, "nah im good." and dawson nodded. jessica gave him a small smile, as he turned back around. the three of the hopped into the SUV quickly before making their way towards the manhattan.
blair had been outside on her fire escape for the past 25 minutes and had yet to smoke like she had originally planned to. instead, she took a bottle of red wine and sat out there drinking from the cap. her head whipped towards the window, after hearing a knock at her apartment door. she sighed, standing up, and walked over towards it with the bottle still in hand. she opened it and almost dropped the bottle of red wine. she swallowed harshly, tears pricking her eyes.
"i waited three years for you to come home, i waited three years for you to say something. or at least attempt to contact me, and now that you're here - for good, you don't say anything?" luke confessed, and blair sighed. she opened the door further for him to come in, and then proceeded to set the bottle of wine down. she placed her hands on her hips, staring at the ground. "you don't know how many times i wanted to luke, but i hurt you! i didn't have the right to say something knowing what i did. besides luke, you could have reached out too! yknow?" she said looking up to face him now. luke knew that, his whole family had said it too. "you don't know the amount of nights i couldn't fall asleep because of the guilt that i felt, that would eat me up at night, make me sick, i wanted to luke but it wouldn't have been right. it never felt right the amount of times i was going to text or call you." she now confessed, as luke stood a few feet from her with a stance mirroring hers.
"you look different, a good different." she said taking him in, and then a small frown appeared once she saw that his curls were gone. completely broken now. "you do too. a great different." he said and she sighed, "what?" he questioned. "you don't even hate me, luke! you're supposed to hate me!"she said - yelling now. he grinned as he shook his head, "its always been you, even with your stubborn head of yours. i promise, i tried moving on. i did, but it all came back to you. every girl that i went out with, always ghosted me or screamed at me because i wasn't giving them enough attention or what they wanted. i was and still am stuck on you. you're my girl, b. my forever girl." he said breaking her heart. her eyes swelled with tears as she looked at him and she couldn't help but smile softly. "you're home blair, you're my home." he pleaded, and she shook her head. she clasped her eyes shut, feeling herself begin to cry.
even when she begged him and the universe, for him to hate her - he wouldn't. he would never. luke walked up towards the girl and wrapped his arms around her. that made her sob even harder, and that made him tighten his arms. "ive missed you so much, lukey." she said into his chest and he nodded. "i know i know, i know." he repeated, and having her in his arms made him emotional. he voice broke with those works and that made blair pull back a bit before reaching up and grabbing his cheeks. she pulled him for an emotional and passionate kiss.
they were home.
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hope you all enjoyed! ngl this is my first piece in almost a month lol
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