#the bravado is a lie i can barely talk about the ship the au was created for. the secondhand embarrassment i get from

[isabelguerra]

because the thing, when you really get down to it, is that youve had this au for 8 years. and there’s very few things you can say that about. the time you spend on something like that is more than passing interest, when you have something for that long it’s a companion. maybe something that was there when you were completely alone. but the thing is, really, is that the end of the day, you look yourself in the mirror and find yourself faced with the reality that one of your biggest creative outlets is a fffffffffffffffucking . HARRY POTTER AU PAIRANATURAL FANFICTION . in TWENTY TWENTY THREE.

[selfiealien-moved]

For The Ones We Left Behind

Read it on AO3!

Summary: They’re quiet for a moment, simply looking into the vast expanse of space. He has always loved the stars, always found them beautiful and fascinating. Ever since he was old enough to know they were there, he knew he just had to reach them one day.

It kills him a little that for all his love of the stars, and as happy as he is to see this all up close, a part of him would prefer to be back home. He misses his family so much. He had always planned to leave earth eventually, but not like this. Not when he isn’t even sure he will ever return.

“Coran, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course my boy!”

“Do you ever… get homesick?”

(Or, the one where Coran and Lance talk about the ones they've left behind)

(is a part of my together this time series but can be read as a standalone)

A/N:  Hey all! I hope you guys enjoy this, I really wanted to do something for Coran and Lance cause I feel like their relationship is so underappreciated. This is just meant to be a smaller convo since they don't know each other super well yet, but there is enough trust for them to talk about these things to a point. Also even though this is part of my au, this can totally be read as a standalone! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What are you doing awake at this hour my boy?” Coran asks as exuberantly as ever, walking into the observation-- room? Deck? Lance isn’t exactly sure what to call it, but it sure has a great view of the stars, and that’s enough for him.

“Couldn’t sleep-”

Coran immediately cuts him off. “Oh is there something wrong with your rooms? I’m afraid I don’t know much about earth culture, do some of you sleep in different ways? I could always-”

“No no, Coran my room is great. Sometimes earthlings just find it…. Hard to sleep, for different reasons.”

“Oh. How interesting!” Lance is pretty sure nothing about that is interesting but well- its Coran, so he doesn’t comment.

“What about you, why are you still awake?”

Coran’s ever present smile stiffens just a little, almost imperceptibly, but Lance notices. He has a little bit too much experience in that field. 

“Oh you know, just checking in on the ol’ ship. It hasn’t flown in centuries, have to make sure it’s all in tip top shape!”

Lance knows thats a lie, but he doesn’t call him on it. 

They’re quiet for a moment, simply looking into the vast expanse of space. He has always loved the stars, always found them beautiful and fascinating. Ever since he was old enough to know they were there, he knew he just had to reach them one day. 

It kills him a little that for all his love of the stars, and as happy as he is to see this all up close, a part of him would prefer to be back home. He misses his family so much. He had always planned to leave earth eventually, but not like this. Not when he isn’t even sure he will ever return.

“Coran, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course my boy!”

“Do you ever… get homesick?” He watches the smile fade from Coran’s face and he mentally kicks himself. “I’m sorry, that was a dumb question, of course you do.”

“No such thing as stupid answers number three!” His bravado dies down as he takes a moment to think. “But yes, yes I do. Is that why you’re awake? You’re homesick?” His voice is gentle and kind, but Lance’s pride still feels a bit hurt to be called out. 

“Maybe. A little bit.” Lance sighs, keeping his eyes on the stars. “I’ve never wanted anything more than to go to space. But now that I’m here? I just… miss my family. I never even got to say goodbye.” He takes a shuddering breath. “I never got to tell my moms I love them one last time, or tell Marco he’s being an idiot and to just ask that damn guy out already-” He cuts himself off, because he’s too afraid to go on.

He’s not ready yet. He’s not ready to talk about how scared he is that he will never be there for the rest of his siblings weddings, that he won’t get to be Rachel’s man of honour- something they had discussed for as long as he can remember.

He’s especially terrified that he won’t see Sylvio and Nadia grow up, and that even if he does see them again, maybe he will have missed everything. Maybe when he sees them again they’ll be as old as he is now.

No, he can’t voice it, because he can barely even let himself think it if he wants to keep standing.

Not to mention, he feels a little insensitive to talk to Coran about his. His own family is still alive, but all Coran has is Allura. 

Luckily Coran speaks before he can start apologizing again. 

“My boy, I understand. I won’t give you false promises and tell you that you will see your family again no matter what. The truth is, this war is dangerous.” He pauses for a moment, and Lance can’t help deflating a little. “Even so, what you’re doing will protect them, and I can think of nothing more worthy or noble. It’s ok to miss home, and its ok to wish you could return, but you must remember why you are here.” And suddenly, Coran’s eyes grow a little glassy, and he gets a faraway look in his eyes. 

When he speaks again it’s little more than a whisper. “For them, always for them.” 

Lance looks at him a long moment, feeling as though he has seen a completely new person. He feels like he suddenly understands Coran so much better. They are both sad people, who desperately want to help others. 

Finally, he nods. “Thanks, Coran.” Another moment. “You’ve never really said, did you have family back on Altea?”

Coran takes in a sharp breath. “Well, my- what you earthlings call parents- were long gone by the time Zarkon took over. Alfor and Allura were who I considered family, but I did-” He cuts himself off, and Lance isn’t sure what to do when he noticed tears springing to his eyes. Coran clears his throat. “I had a son.” He takes a breath and clears his throat again. “Still, all gone now I suppose.” 

And immediately, Lance’s heart shatters for the man beside him. It was easy sometimes, to forget how much he and Allura had lost. The loss of an entire world was hard to fathom. It makes his complaints of missing his family feel so ridiculous and small in comparison.

“God, I’m sorry Coran.” A small pause. “What, uh what was his name? If you don’t mind me asking of course- I-I don’t mean to pry-”

“Garrett.” Coran’s voice cracks as he speaks. “His name was Garrett.”

“What was he like?”

Coran looks down in shame. “I- I was never close with him as his mother was. I was always too busy with my advisor duties, always around Alfor. It was no excuse, but still, I used it. She left with him when he was still a young boy, I saw him from time to time after that, but it was never the same.” He looks at Lance for a long moment. “Though you do remind me of him at times.”

“I-” Lance stutters, not really sure what to say.

“I never thanked you for saving me when rover blew up, so thank you.” 

And Lance is taken majorly off guard, because this feels like quite the subject change, and he thinks he might have whiplash. But he can’t blame him for changing the subject either, because Lance isn’t the most forthcoming about well, anything. Not to mention they still hardly know each other. Theres trust here now, and perhaps a new friendship, but that doesn’t make this a very… shareable topic.

“Ah no man you don’t have to- look anyone else on the team would’ve done the same.”

“Maybe, but it was still you. You have my gratitude. You’re the sort of man I hoped my son would become.”

He doesn’t quite know how to respond to that so- “Coran, is it alright if I hug you?”

“Oh! I’ve heard about this, I’ve been told by Hunk that they are quite nice. Yes of course.”

Lance smiles- and no there are absolutely not tears in his eyes shut up- as he hugs Coran.

“Thanks Coran.” He takes a deep breath and notices the ache in his chest is just a little more bearable. And though he knows it won’t fade entirely until he is back in his family’s arms, at least he knows he can keep going. For them. “I feel a little better now.”

“Anytime number three.”

Lance looks out at space one more time, and allows himself a weak smile. “Come on, we better get some sleep if we’re gonna kick Zarkon’s butt tomorrow.”

“It would be unwise to go for Zarkon’s posterior, especially at this time-”

“It’s a figure of speech Coran.” Lance breathes out a small chuckle. “Point is, we’re gonna take him down, no matter what.” He looks at Coran for another moment, and considers everything that has been said tonight. “For the ones we’ve left behind.”

Lance isn’t sure it’s even possible for someone to look both grateful, but still in pain, but Coran manages it.

“For the ones we’ve left behind.”