#the bottom two facial expressions are the SAME | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trashytracktales · 13 days ago

Note

I👏🏼NEED 👏🏼SECRET👏🏼RELATIONSHIP 👏🏼LANDO PLEASEEEE 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I loved “winning hand” and I have reread it a few times already, hope you’ll do something like that again soon queen xo

Two can keep a secret | LN⁴

☆ summary ──── She was convinced they had found the secret recipe for happiness. A year later though, she finds out that the very things that brought them together are the same things that now threaten to tear them apart.

☆ pairing ──── Lando Norris x SecretGf!Reader

☆ rating ──── explicit

☆ warnings ──── 18+, secret relationship, angst, gaslighting undertones, SMAU (please be kind, it’s my first time trying to insert social media in my writing 🙏🏻😭), swearing, mentions of alcohol and drinking, graphic sexual content, descriptive language, smut, teasing, mutual masturbation (detailed handjob & fingering), bottom!Lando, praising, pet names, and dirty talk, unprotected sex, physical roughness, overstimulation, cockwarming, messy aftermath.

☆ word count ──── 9.4k

☆ date ──── Aug. 18, 2025

☆ a/n ──── Been a hot sec since I’ve been abusing my keyboards like this, but coming back to writing isn’t always easy. However, thank you so much for being patient with me while I try to find my rhythm again. If you haven’t already (because it flopped horrendously when I first posted it), maybe give Winning Hand a shot too. Anon liked it, hihi 😌🎀 ANYWAY. I missed you guys sm!! Enjoy your reading my lovelies ^^

A couple more things:

Everybody, including me, be calling X Twitter, and I didn’t make an exception for this one-shot.

I didn’t check any of the usernames mentioned. I pulled those out from the depths of my brain, but if some of them happen to exist, please do not contact the respective accounts lmao. And if I accidentally used yours and you want me to edit it out, please let me know 😁

IT HAD STARTED so beautifully stupid for them, nearly a year ago, on Max’s birthday.

It hadn’t been planned, and maybe that’s what made it so exciting at first. They’d always been part of the same chaotic circle of people, drawn to fast cars and faster living, late nights at each other’s apartments, beach weekends, and group chats full of memes and half-plans, because everybody was so busy.

She remembers the heat of that night, and the fact that she thought there were way too many people at the villa; not necessarily her type of party, but all of her friends were there.

She also remembers turning around with a drink in hand, catching Lando’s eyes across the pool. He was a bit drunk, and she knew that from the beginning, because he has a very unique facial expression when he drinks, with half-closed eyelids and a little grin in the corner of his mouth that’s nothing but trouble.

He came to rescue, and pulled her away from the noise. They ended up chatting more in a couple of hours than they did their entire friendship combined. Lando made her his signature drink, and she convinced him not to jump into the water fully clothed. Then she woke up in his room the next morning, her dress on the floor and his arm slung heavy across her waist.

She hadn’t meant for it to last this long. But it turned out they’re both good at keeping secrets.

The thrill of sneaking around, the quiet satisfaction of pulling him into a dark corner at parties, all the plans and fake excuses, the constant adrenaline beneath her skin every time they made eye contact in public and pretended they weren’t thinking the exact same thing. All of it was so intoxicating. Being his secret made her feel powerful. And why wouldn’t it, since she got the parts no one else did: the sleepy post-race calls, the lazy mornings with her hand tangled in his curls and his head between her thighs, the soft way he spoke when no one was listening but her. It was like living a double life, one where she had this bright and much tender version of Lando that didn’t belong to the world.

Maybe it should’ve ended after the first night together, but instead, they made rules:

No one should find out.

No social media.

No strings, just fun.

For months, they’d carved out an intimate space between the noise of their public lives, stolen glances at group dinners, quick texts under the table, and lots of hotel rooms booked under fake names when they ended up in the same cities.

But gradually, what started as a thrill, it’s just exhausting a year later.

It’s the constant vigilance. The quiet ache of standing across a room from him and acting like he’s just her friend. The mental strain of remembering who knows what, how close she can stand, whether her laugh gave too much away or how long she can look at him before someone notices the hearts in her eyes.

Ultimately, there is just too much pretending.

Too much pretending that she’s just a part of his friend group when she’s standing two feet away from him, her hands shoved so deep into her pockets only to stop herself from reaching out.

Too much pretending that she doesn’t care when someone asks him — again and again, for fuck’s sake — about who he’s dating, and his answer is always ‘no one seriously’ while displaying the biggest smile known to man.

And too much pretending she doesn’t want to walk with him in public, hand in hand.

It’s the secrecy that bothers her lately, not the privacy, though. Because she loves the quiet nights and the way he kisses her like he’s always missed her, even if it’s only been a day. She still loves his stupid impressions and the way he sings in the car, off-key and not caring he’s making her ears bleed.

That’s the thing. She loves it all and she loves him and that’s what makes everything worse.

═════════════════════════

📍Silverstone, United Kingdom

THE BATHROOM DOOR swings open with a soft hiss of steam, and she steps out, towel wrapped around her body, another twisted tightly around her wet hair. It’s an early, very quiet Friday morning, but she knows it won’t stay like that for long.

Lando stands near the mirror, a towel slung low on his hips, chest still damp from his own quick shower. He squints at his reflection, one hand stroking the scruff along his jaw as if he’s thinking pretty intensely about what to do in order to solve the world hunger.

She watches him for a moment, amused. “You’ve been staring at yourself since I got in. Are you okay?”

He flicks his eyes to her in the mirror, pretending to look wounded. “I’m in the middle of an existential grooming crisis, actually.”

“Must be exhausting,” she teases, walking past him toward the bed where her clothes are laid out. “All that beauty. All that... mild stubble.”

Lando turns to face her, rising one hand as if he’s holding something that he wants to show her. “To shave, or not to shave?”

The girl pauses mid-motion, a small smile creeping across her lips. “If you’re asking me,” she says, glancing at him over her shoulder, “I like it better when you don’t.”

Lando tilts his head, curiously. “Because it makes me look more manly or?”

She walks back to him, closing the space between them until she can trace her fingers under his jaw, the coarse edge of his stubble brushing her skin. “No,” she shakes her head lightly. “Because of how it feels between my thighs,” she says, placing a tiny kiss on his cheek.

Through the mirror, Lando just stares at her for a few seconds. Then he lets out a short laugh, nearly choking on it. “Jesus, okay. Starting the day like that?”

The girl shrugs innocently, letting both of her towels pool at her feet once she goes back to the bed, grabbing the dress to pull it over her head. “You asked.”

Lando crosses the room to close the distance between them once again, looping his arms loosely around her waist from behind and letting his chin drop to her shoulder. “Yeah, I did,” he mumbles, pressing a soft kiss beneath her ear.

For a little while, everything is simple and nothing hurts. His warmth wraps around her like it’s shielding her from things she doesn’t even have names for. Things that live out there in interviews, in headlines, in the judgmental eyes of people who don’t know what they are, but question every single person that gets near Lando, one way or another. With him, right now, there is no hiding. There is only the sound of his breathing, and the way his thumbs circle softly over her stomach. The smell of his skin and the half-wet curls brushing against her temple.

She turns in his arms and rests her hands on his chest, fingers absently tracing the lines of muscle, then slides one up to gently push his hair back from his forehead. “Are you nervous?” she asks quietly. “About this weekend?”

Lando is silent, content to study her face for a moment. “Mm, dunno. Maybe a litte. Every year, it’s different but, I mean, it’s home.”

She nods, understanding very well the pressure he’s putting on himself to deliver in front of his home crowd. He’s told her stories of coming to the circuit as a kid, climbing fences just to get a better view of the garages. Of how his heart used to pound just from hearing the engines fire up. And now, he’s on the other side of the fence, while the crowd is chanting his name.

“I’m only asking because you get quiet around it,” she adds gently. “Not in a bad way,” the girl rushes to explain, “Just… stiller. So not like you.”

He frowns for a fraction. “How come?”

She shrugs. “Like you’re trying to hold something in. Apart from the obvious,” she tries to joke.

Suddenly, he’s quiet again, but this time there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe I am.”

The girl steps closer, into the cradle of his body. Her hands settle at the nape of his neck at the same time her eyes fix on his. “You don’t have to around me, you know.”

“I know,” Lando assures her, and leans down to delicately press his lips on hers.

It’s not a hurried kiss. Just lazy, warm, and deeply familiar. The kind that speaks in layers to her: I hear you. I see you. Thank you for knowing the difference.

He kisses her again when they part, this time on her jaw, then her shoulder. “Thank you,” whispers Lando only for her to hear as if someone else can eavesdrop.

“For what?”

“For knowing when I’m pretending.”

She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Of course she knows when he’s pretending. She’s got front-row seats at that show, and she watched him perform it for almost an entire year now.

“Anyway. I’ll be busy for chunks of the day. PT1 starts at 12:30, then straight into the engineering briefings after,” says Lando and, just like that, all the weight creeps back in. “I’ll try to come find you between things, but it might be tight,” he continues, making her stiffen slightly in his hold. It’s not much, but it’s enough for him to notice. He watches her carefully, but doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t worry about me,” she tells him. “What time will the others get here?”

“Fuck if I know,” laughs Lando. “But I don’t want you stuck waiting around for me. Or any of them.”

She smiles faintly. “I won’t be. Besides, you know I’m happy just watching.”

“Still,” says Lando, resting a hand on her hip, squeezing it lightly, “I want you to have fun. Abuse that pass, alright?”

═════════════════════════

📍 Monte Carlo, Monaco | FIVE WEEKS LATER

THEY FUCKED A couple of hours ago. Her skin still carries the ghost of his hands and the way he moaned her name against her throat like it was the only word left in his vocabulary. And yet, they rolled up to the venue in different cars.

Lando didn’t even looked in her direction, although she’s sure that he noticed her. He didn’t come to casually greet her, either. Reserved, he spent most of his time around the birthday boy, taking over the DJ booth and downing shot after shot with his friends. That wouldn’t have been a problem for her because, after all, they are both here to celebrate Max. But what bothers her is that, over time, their relationship has gotten so well-defined in public that Lando has almost become two different people. He can change his behavior so quickly that it amazes her how effortlessly he seems to flip that switch.

This part doesn’t sit right with her, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself.

She knows why they do it, but tonight it feels cruel. It brings her back, whether she wants it to or not, to last year, when this whole thing began. Back when it was easy and fun, when she could sneak off with Lando without the weight of her heart in her chest, because there were no feelings involved then. They were just two friends, playing Monica and Chandler for a night.

Now, she walks into the party with a knot in her stomach.

The place is buzzing with the kind of manic vibe only Max can gather: mutual friends, a couple of drivers from his racing days, influencers, and enough bottles of champagne lined up to keep the night running until no one can walk straight the next morning. The lighting is flattering, a warm golden shade that cascades over the entire venue.

She smiles when she needs to, accepting a drink when it’s handed to her but for some reason, she feels like a fraud, even though she belongs here as much as everybody else.

Already tipsy and grinning ear to ear, Max snatches a mic, speaking into it louder than necessary. “Oi, alright! Before everyone gets absolutely trashed, we’re doing a photo, yeah? All of you on the terrace now. Come on.”

The group is noisy, half-drunk and impatient, everyone shuffling around on the terrace as they try to wedge themselves into frame, beneath a banner that screams Happy Birthday Max!

People laugh, tugging each other closer, arms looping over shoulders, champagne glasses raised at odd angles. The photographer looks exasperated already, waving at them to just stay still for five seconds.

Lando slips into the cluster of bodies as though it’s the most natural thing in the world, shoulder brushing hers as he stakes his claim on the narrow space beside her. She feels the shift in her body before she even sees him, but that’s because she already knows his scent and the warmth radiating off him all too well. His arm folds loosely behind her, close enough that the tiny gap between gets heavy instantly. The line of his solid frame angles toward hers so familiar, his chest hovering just a breath behind her shoulder. And when she tilts her head the smallest fraction, it’s like they’re caught in orbit.

Lando might think he’s being slick, and she can tell. His expression is easy, careless even, like he hasn’t considered what the camera sees or what it could capture. But she can feel the weight of it: the way his proximity speaks louder than any touch, how her body leans almost imperceptibly into his without meaning to.

“Closer, closer!” the photographer calls out, making everyone laugh, stumbling into each other.

At that, Lando chuckles too, his palm landing firmly on her ass, fingers squeezing, as he uses it to pull her flush against him.

Her heart races so hard it’s a wonder she can keep a straight face. To conceal her expression, she tilts her champagne flute to her lips, lets the glass shield her, and stretches her mouth into a wide, glittering smile. To anyone watching, she’s just another friend enjoying the moment. Meanwhile, Lando looks like he’s forgotten entirely that they’re surrounded by people; his eyes are bright and his grin way too smug.

He leans down, lips brushing lightly against her ear, “Can you believe no one here knows I’ve had you twice today?”

Her knees nearly buckle, and that’s when the camera clicks. The flash freezes them in the act: her body tucked into his like it belongs there, Lando’s head bent toward her ear, his hand hidden but very much there. No one pays attention to them, too busy laughing and stumbling out of frame for the next drink after it’s done.

It’s right under their noses, she thinks.

A closeness that doesn’t belong in the background of a birthday picture. Or… under the table, a few hours later.

The music has grown louder now. Everyone is flushed yet still energized, lost in conversations and unfinished drinks. It’s the perfect cover for Lando to switch the flip again.

She sits with her phone in hand, eyes down, pretending to scroll as if she’s reading something really important that has her undivided attention. In reality, it’s the only shield she has against the warmth that’s growing inside her.

Under the table, Lando’s hand is on her thigh, thumb brushing lazy circles against bare skin where her dress has ridden up. Every pass is so gentle, enough to make her nerves spark like live wires.

“Lando,” she protests, lips barely moving. “Can you stop that?”

She can’t look at him without blushing, but she feels the smirk curve his lips even before he answers. “Relax. Everyone’s too drunk to notice.”

Her thumb taps uselessly on her screen, trying her best to ignore a touch that has become so normalized behind the closed doors. She wouldn’t have believed that Lando was such a touchy guy, but can’t complain about his need to have his hands on her at all times either.

“This dress,” Lando pauses to drag his thumb slowly along the hem, brushing her skin in a way that makes her spine straighten. “You look like an angel. From every angle. I can’t stop staring.”

The girl swallows the lump in her throat, forcing her face to remain impassive, as though she’s still absorbed in whatever is on her phone.

And then he leans closer, adding, “Can’t wait to get you home and take it off you.”

Everything around fades, leaving just the weight of his hand on her thigh. She turns her head then, finally meeting his smug grin with curious eyes. “Since when are you the type to wait?”

The words land like a dare and, before Lando can reply, she pushes his hand away, the absence of his touch a cold shock, and stands. Her dress clings to her thighs as she adjusts it, then she gives him one last look, slipping away from the table with the faintest sway of her hips.

Lando frowns, caught off guard. For a moment, he stays put, watching her disappear into the crowd and down the hall. Then instinct takes over. He glances left, then right, ensuring no one is paying him too much attention, before sliding out of his seat and following her while keeping a careful distance that he’s been perfecting over months of hiding.

The various sounds muffle as they move through the hallway, shadows swallowing the chatter until it’s just them. Lando shuts the bathroom door with a soft click and then his hand is on her throat in a heartbeat. The motion is fast, almost desperate, and he kisses her hard, crushing their mouths together like it’s the only language he knows. The subtle burn of alcohol lingers on their tongues as though the champagne is still fizzing between their lips. None of them minds it though. If anything, they welcome each other in like they always do.

Her back hits the door, rattling against the frame, and she doesn’t hesitate before her fingers dive into his curls, tugging with enough force to make him wince.

Lando groans against her mouth, breaking the kiss only to breathe and question, “What’s wrong with you tonight?” he pants, tight with frustration, but there’s a trace of worry behind his voice too.

Her chest rises quickly in uneven breaths, his curiosity only making her emotional. She wants to cry. Scream. Confess. But instead, she steels herself, building walls brick by brick before she can collapse.

“We’ve had a good run,” she admits, “But I think we should stop after this.”

Her words take her by surprise too, causing them both to pause, their mouths still pressed together. Slowly, Lando pulls away from her, his lips lingering on hers before parting, as if they are not ready to say goodbye yet.

Standing still, his hand slackening against her throat, Lando’s eyes search for her, studying her face like he didn’t hear her right. The girl doesn’t give him the chance to ask any other questions. Her gaze drops to his chest then down at the floor, anywhere but his eyes, because if she looks at him now, everything will crumble under the weight of her mixed feelings.

“No… why?” tries Lando, his voice suddenly so small. “Did something happen? Did anyone—”

“Nothing happened,” she rushes to say. “We made very sure of that.”

The silence that follows is uncomfortable for the first time they’ve known each other. She can hear his heavy breathing and his snort, which suggests that he can’t quite figure out what brought her to this conclusion.

“Yeah, we did,” Lando points out. “So what’s the matter? I thought this was what we both wanted, right? We’re good.”

“It was,” she replies, failing to add at first. But not anymore.

Lando looks at her as if he sees a completely different person in front of him. “Then what?” his eyebrows arch high on his forehead.

She sighs. “Then nothing. Do you want to fuck me or not?”

“What?” he freezes, the insult of it knocking the breath out of him. It’s been a while since Lando had been left speechless, but now it’s like his entire brain shut down. He just takes a step back, clenching his jaw in frustration. “No,” he continues, taken aback by her sudden bluntness.

“No?” she repeats, unable to believe that his rejection is final.

“No. Not like that. Baby, what the fuck?”

Her throat tightens. “Alright, got it. Cheers, mate,” she reaches for the door, but Lando is faster. He kicks it shut with his foot, the sound echoing through the small space like a gunshot.

“The hell you’re walking out on me like that,” he says, breathless but firm.

“Like what, Lando?” her voice is shaking slightly but refusing to break. “We’ve already got what we wanted from this, so why does it matter what happens after?”

His nostrils flare. “Don’t go there.”

“Why not?” she bites back. “The second we walk out of here, I go back to nothing anyway.”

His voice is so close to breaking into desperation next time he speaks, “It’s not nothing, and you know it. Do you even get how fucking hard it is not to touch you when you’re right there?”

Her laugh is hollow. “But that’s pretty much about it, isn’t it?”

Lando can’t stop the humourless laugh that slips past his lips, “Oh, wow. You think that’s all I want from you? Really?”

Her eyes flicker up, even though her chest aches as she forces the response out. “If anyone saw us right now, that’s exactly what they’d think too.”

The remark ignites a storm inside him. His jaw tightens again, voice climbing in volume a little. “Are you serious?”

“Dead. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Jesus, if all I wanted was an easy fuck, I could’ve had someone new every night,” the jab lands, sharper than he meant it to. He sees it in the way her face hardens, in the way her shoulders straighten like she’s bracing herself for impact.

“Then maybe you should. If it’s that easy for you, then go do it, and leave me the hell out of it,” she turns on her heel before he can say anything else, shoving the door open so hard it rattles the hinges.

The slam echoes, final and merciless, right into Lando’s face.

“Fuck,” he breathes, kicking at the bottom of the door before slamming his fist into it, the sharp sting radiating through his knuckles.

For a long moment, he struggles to understand how everything spiraled this fast. How something that felt so simple turned into such a mess in a blink of an eye.

═════════════════════════

“MATE, YOU’RE TRENDING on Twitter,” says Max once Lando gets back to their table.

He blinks, still affected by the bathroom confrontation, the words barely sinking in. “What?” he asks, snatching Max’s phone before he can think better of it.

His thumb swipes across the screen, and his chest goes cold: the group snap from earlier is already reposted everywhere, either cropped or zoomed in. Or cropped and zoomed in. The tweets and replies are endless, and they keep coming, forcing his eyes to go over dozens of them in the shortest time:

landosarchives

Group photo looks normal until you zoom in *insert Lando’s hyena laugh* is he aware he’s not subtle AT ALL?

⤷ grussell63 right?? Lando all up on that girl in the back LMAO.

⤷ nocontextf1 the hand placement is weird tho, who is she 👀

⤷ charlesless Are you guys okay? Like, in the head?

⤷ fullsend NO. look at his arm!!! ass grab + leaning in is insane behavior since he claims he’s single with every occasion he gets

5s4ocon

Debate of the evening: what’s actually happening in this photo?

1️⃣ Whispering something dumb

2️⃣ Kissing her cheek

3️⃣ Hard launch (by accident)

Poll ends in 24h

⤷ fromthepitsoff1hell combo between 2&3, guaranteed

⤷ papayacore I love you guys but some of you are delusionalllll

⤷ letsgoln4 No bc what’s that angle ://

⤷ teabreak.f1 can we talk about hand placement? im losing my shit the man is a GRABBER

⤷ goat_pastry Leaning angle = whisper. Hand placement = no comment 😗😗

⤷ russellesque_attitude also why is everyone pretending we can actually see his mouth? the girl is like 3 rows back. stop being obsessed lol

⤷ lnfourette ok but how close is he though…

⤷ dnf1 doing FBI-level analysis over a birthday pic. can we not 🤢

f1girliesassemble

idc what anyone says, lando’s hand is NOT where it should be in this photo 😭😭

⤷ de.lulu.44 girl that’s literally her waist 💀

⤷ f1girliesassemble r u blind 🍑.🍑

55operator

he either said ‘cheese’ or ‘bend over’ there’s no way in between

aston.m14

the girl in the black dress next to lando >>> who is sheee???

⤷ cutthechicane i checked the people in the post but no one’s tagged :(

⤷ pookietsunoda cutthechicane then she’s either a gf or someone lowkey 👀👀

⤷ papayarulezzz SHUT UP lando would not hard launch at max’s party of all places

⤷ sunshinepiastri papayarulezzz obviously, but judging by how everybody reacted so far, what makes you think this was planned lmao

tea_formulas

bro the way his entire palm is curved around her hip is killing me. which one of y’all are holdin your friends like that speak 🤨

gri77thegr1d

imagine being her. u get a kiss from ln in the middle of a photo while his hand is planted on u?? like that?? when’s the wedding LandoNorris

⤷ yukisdinner imagine being her when the internet finds out who you r tho... YIKES.

⤷ nando.lorris i think i found her insta oop 👀👀👀

⤷ landowecanbewc nando.lorris can you send it to me?

⤷ nando.lorris landowecanbewc dms :)

⤷ tripod_10 nando.lorris me too pls

⤷ landosformula nando.lorris ME THREE!

“Well, shit,” exhales Lando on the verge of panic, as he slowly hands the phone back to Max. When he lifts his eyes, his best friend is already staring at him, waiting; somehow, Max doesn’t expect an explanation. He already put the pieces together.

“What now?” asks Max.

Lando shakes his head, not knowing what to reply. Instead, “Where’d she go?”

Max shifts in his seat, his expression tightening with a mix of concern and reluctant understanding. “She came to me earlier. Said she had fun, but had to leave.”

“Do you think she knows anything about this?” asks Lando, pointing at Max’s phone.

“Not yet, I dont’t think so. But I reckon it won’t take long to find out if she opens her apps.”

He wants to add something more to that, maybe even come at Lando’s throat for acting like they’re not close enough to tell him what’s been happening in his personal life lately. But Max decides to leave all that for later, because he sees that his friend is currently in distress, his internal wheels working overtime in order to find the quickest way to fix this.

But before Lando can get up, Max catches his arm, searching his face. His eyes flick once to the phone screen still lit up with speculation, then back to his friend. Is it true?

Lando swallows, his jaw working. He doesn’t bother with excuses, and definitely doesn’t have the energy for lies. He just gives the smallest of nods, almost imperceptible. Yes.

═════════════════════════

IT DOESN’T TAKE him long to find her. Truthfully, it doesn’t take him any time at all, because even in her anger, even when she walks away from him with the kind of attitude that makes his stomach knot, Lando knows her well enough to guess there’s only one place she’d go to hide: home.

By the time she opens the door, he’s half out of breath, curls sticking to his forehead, shirt a little wrinkled like he hasn’t bothered to fix himself since leaving Max’s party.

She doesn’t even ask him what’s wrong. Instead, her voice comes out clipped. “Max’s picture is all over my feed.”

Initially, he says nothing, just stares at her, as though he hadn’t expected her to start there. Then he pushes past, uninvited but not unwelcome, slipping into the familiarity of her flat like it’s second nature.

“I know,” says Lando, dragging a hand through his hair. “But it doesn’t matter, right? No one knows who you are. They can speculate all they want, but I’ll make sure it never goes—”

The girl shuts the door behind him with more force than necessary in order to silent him, the sound echoing like a period at the end of a sentence. “Shut up, Lando.”

For once, he does.

“It’s whatever. I don’t mind,” she admits, her affirmation hanging between them, unexpected. And for the hundredth time tonight, he looks genuinely off balance.

“Of course you do,” Lando blinks, trying to square it with everything they’ve built: the months of secrecy, of slipping out the back doors and timed arrivals, of keeping their laughter and their touches tucked safely behind locked doors. “This was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to protect you from this.”

She crosses the living room, sinking into the couch with a grace that doesn’t feel natural, like she’s measuring his every movement, waiting for him to join her. The champagne has worn off, leaving only clarity behind. Her hands fold in her lap, gaze slipping away from him to somewhere far away. Perhaps to simpler times, when they didn’t have to stress about every step they took, either forward or backward.

“I know what we agreed,” she finally speaks in her soft voice, the sweet cadence he loves so much. “But I am exhausted. Aren’t you?”

Her confession curls into the silence like a claw around his lungs. Truthfully, he is, but Lando can’t go back to the way it was a year ago, before all this. Not when they went through so much together — a relationship that offered them more joy than sadness. Taken aback, he realizes that up until tonight, they never had a real argument. He used to get upset when she watched their show in advance, and she always scolded him when he left his clothes scattered around the apartment, whether it was at his place or hers. But nothing more serious than that. The realization settles with a kind of heaviness in his chest, one that Lando can’t quite disguise.

She finally looks back at him again. The anger from earlier is long gone. What’s left is something more complicated. A longing, a weariness. A love that hurts because it feels trapped between worlds that are so different.

“I don’t mind if they know,” she repeats. “Hiding what we have doesn’t make it any less real, does it? In time, it just made it harder.”

Her statement knocks something loose in him. Lando finally sits, not next to her but close enough, like he’s giving her space even though every part of him aches to close the distance. Then, he searches her face, desperately trying to understand the direction they’re now heading in, full throttle.

The fact that she is calm does not calm him down. That could mean that what she told him in the bathroom earlier still applies. And if that’s the case, he cannot come to terms with that scenario yet.

“Are we done?” her head lifts like she just heard a loud noise, caught off guard. Lando’s eyes are on her, a flicker of panic behind the question he hadn’t meant to sound so desperate. He swallows then tries again, “Like, for real? Is this it?”

The girl exhales slowly, leaning back into the couch cushions. Her hands twist together as she tries to choose her words. “I don’t know, Lando. I’m not quite in the mood to think about it right now.”

It’s like a knife twists in unison with her admission, but he understands. He leans forward, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tight. “If that’s the case, I don’t want to lose you,” he confesses before managing to filter his thoughts. “I’m just… I’m trying to keep you safe. Keep us safe. That’s all I’ve ever been doing.”

She studies him, searching for more than he gives her at the moment, and when she finally speaks, it’s enough to make him flinch. “Safe doesn’t mean happy. Plus, you can find yours in someone new every night, apparently.”

Lando blushes instantly, the memory slamming into him like a slap. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” he apologizes in a small voice, rubbing the back of his neck, eyes dropping to the floor. “It was stupid. I was just pissed off at the situation you simply threw at me out of the blue.”

She smiles, but it’s not genuine. “You made it sound easy.”

“It’s not,” he cuts in quickly, finally meeting her eyes again. There’s no flippancy now, no cocky grin to hide behind, just honesty. “But even if it was, why would I want to? I already have what I need. With you. You’re the only one who makes it feel like I can stop racing for a second.”

Her throat constricts, forcing her to look away before the sting in her eyes can betray her. Because as much as she wants to believe him, it’s hard to accept it’s true. And excuses don’t erase the heaviness that’s pressing between them.

She opens her mouth to add to Lando’s confession, but her phone lights up on the coffee table in front of them, vibrating once. The sound cuts through the quiet of her apartment, pulling both of them out of the mood that they’ve been sinking into.

She reaches for it out of habit, finding a message from Max on the screen:

MAX F.

You good? Did Lando find you?

Her heart skips a beat, feeling his eyes on her in an instant, a brow raised in question.

“It’s Max,” she explains.

Lando huffs a quiet laugh through his nose, but there’s tension in the way his shoulders stay coiled as he watches her typing something back quickly.

Yeah. He’s with me.

The next notification pulls her eyes down before she can stop herself.

MAX F.

Good. Tell lover boy I said hi. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.

Her lips twitch upwards, and for a little while, the knot in her chest loosens. A smile breaks free, real this time, making her giddy at the thought that these two always have each other’s backs the way they do.

“What’s so funny?” asks Lando.

She hesitates for a second, then turns the phone around so he can watch the realization dawn on her face. “Max knows,” she says simply.

A weight that she’s been carrying for months slips just a little, and for the first time since this began, it feels really good. Good that someone else knows. Good that their secret isn’t locked so tightly it doesn’t even feel real anymore. Good that they exist outside the four walls of hotel rooms and closed doors.

It makes them real, because now, they exist as an item in someone else’s perspective too.

Her smile fades a little as she sets the phone aside, fingers brushing against her knees. “I don’t want to keep secrets anymore, Lando,” she says. “But I’m also not ready to fully commit to this. I’m sure you can see why,” she adds reluctantly, referring to the media situation.

Lando doesn’t hesitate. His hand finds hers, big enough to cover hers completely, curling around her small fingers. His thumb brushes gently over the back of her hand. “I do,” he nods. “But if you give me the chance, I’ll make it my life’s purpose to make everything easier for you. Worth every bit of the chaos that comes with me.”

═════════════════════════

📍 Somewhere in the Mediterranean

Liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri and others

lando off the market for quite a while now, ladies and gents. really happy btw, cheers for allowing me to keep this part of my life private. cya after the break ✌🏼

Comments...

maxfewtrell oops.

⤷ formula.gossip bro forces his bro to come clean about his rship and all he says is oops 💀😭

ln444 “allowing me to keep this part of my life private” after the absolute chaos that pic caused on Twitter is CRAZY work lando 😭😭

⤷ itsnearafish ikr i heard people already found her socials. he’s subtly begging us to leave him alone LOL

oscarpiastri Finally.

⤷ lando tf u mean finally??

⤷ oscarpiastri For someone who has their driver’s room next to yours at all times, I know enough. Against my will, may I add

⤷ lando sweet.

⤷ f1teabreak oscarpiastri don’t be shy, tell us more

⤷ oscarpiastri f1teabreak What do you wanna know?

⤷ lando oscarpiastri oscarpiastri oscarpiastri 🤡??

carlossainz55 A lot to talk about on our next golf trip no?

⤷ lando 😏😏😏

ln4.fans everybody say thank you for your service max

⤷ l4nd0p1 okay but like. this is still the cutest thing ever. let him be happy 🥹💙

⤷ offtrackdrama Cute?? He lied for over a year and now he comes online and demands privacy from people. Such a joke.

⤷ ln4.fans lmao imagine being this pressed over a public person who’s choosing to date out of the public eye 💀💀

pitlanelurker NAH. this is clearly damage control after Max’s bday post 😭 he panicked

⤷ all.about.that.f1grid I think he saw people started to drag his girl online and he had to put a stop to that nonsense immediately 😤💕

⤷ el_plan_14 he’s a good man savannah 🫶🏽

xoxof1gg I know it’s supposed to be sweet but why do I feel like he’s hiding her somehow 🫠

⤷ russellsgap because he IS. he doesn’t want us to know who she is

⤷ 81pastries good. they deserve privacy.

@landooscurls Imagine hiding her from us all year

⤷ @trashytracktales two can keep a secret if at least one of them is madly in love ;)

THE ECHO OF the waves hadn’t really left them once they got back inside. Their sound is ghosting faintly through the open balcony doors, salt and warmth still clinging to the air of the hotel suite. Lando sits half naked propped up against the headboard, scrolling through his comments, liking and replying to some of them, his thumb dragging across the screen without focus. His curls are still a bit wet from the shower, and his skin carries a subtle trace of deep pink that only comes from sitting in the sun an entire day.

She moves barefoot across the cool floor, tugging a loose shirt over her thighs. Her skin smells of sea spray, her cheeks flushed from the shower she just got out of. The exhaustion in her limbs makes her movements languid, like the tide itself is still pulling at her. When she finally slips into bed, Lando doesn’t think twice before setting his phone down on the nightstand, catching her wrist before she can roll to her side. A quick tug and suddenly she’s straddling him, her knees sinking into the mattress, his hands finding their way to her hips like they always do.

“What’s the verdict?” the girl asks with a little nervousness behind her voice, even though she tries to mask it as casual. Her fingers toy with the chain around his neck, twisting it lightly.

Lando exhales through his nose, slightly amused. “Mixed feelings,” he says, eyes catching hers. “Some think it’s sweet, some think I lied, some are just here for the memes.”

“I definitely am here for the memes,” she says, earning a small smile in return.

His lips quirk, though a subtle weariness lingers behind them. “I just hope it’ll die down eventually.”

She tilts her head. “That’s a bit optimistic.”

He nudges her side, making her laugh despite herself. “I said hope, not expect. Besides,” he goes on, squeezing her waist, “You should see the theories about who you are. They’re convinced you’re a hired model, just based on Max’s picture.”

“A model?” she asks. “How did they even get there?”

Lando shrugs. “Yeah,” he grins, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “They’re not wrong, though. You could be.”

“Not gonna happen,” she leans closer, shaking her head as her nose brush against his.

His voice drops slightly. “What if you model for me only?”

She rolls her eyes, but the smile tugging at her mouth betrays her. “Well, that can be arranged.”

As a response, Lando leans in, letting his lips ghost teasingly against hers before kissing her properly. A kiss that empties her lungs and fills her with weightless tenderness. A kiss they’ve shared so many times before, but it didn’t quite feel like this, old and new at the same time.

“Thank you,” he whispers when he pulls back, quiet enough to sound like a secret. “For walking into my life like that, and for staying.”

She just looks at him, not trusting her voice enough to speak without spilling a tear or two. Instead, she kisses him harder, pouring all her gratitude and want into the press of her mouth against his. It draws a delicious sound out of him, a whimper that tangles with her own as their hips shift closer. Her weight settles over him as a result, and the friction is enough to make them both gasp at the feeling.

Lando’s hands waste no time, slipping under the hem of her shirt, palms skimming the warm skin of her waist and stomach before traveling higher. His smile turns wicked when he discovers she’s all bare beneath it, his fingers curling and pulling her closer, like even if they merged, it still wouldn’t be close enough.

She whimpers, her breath shuddering as his thumbs trace tiny circles into the soft flesh. The rhythm is coaxing, but the tension between them builds as fast as it always did. Instinctively, her hips rock against him like muscle memory, and the solid heat she finds beneath the thin fabric of his shorts makes her pulse throb deep in her core. As a response to her action, Lando reacts by letting out another string of needy noises, as if she’s stripping away every last shred of composure he pretends to hold. His tongue brushes hungry against hers, and every drag of his mouth feels like a claim.

Ever since everything got out in the open, a new fire spreads through her chest whenever she thinks about it. One born not of fear that the people can find out who she is at any moment, but of knowing; everybody knows now. Lando is no longer hers in secret. He’s hers, period.

Impatient, he cups her thighs harder, his his cock pressing thick and insistent between her legs. Her kiss turns desperate at the feel of him, teeth grazing his lip, and when Lando hisses into her mouth, she smiles through the kiss, knowing he wants much more. So, she helps him shove his shorts down, freeing him underneath her. The sight alone makes her mouth water, but before he can even try to flip their positions, she presses a steady palm to his bare chest.

“Let me,” she says, and the determination alone has him sinking back against the headboard. For a fraction, Lando looks at her like he wants to argue, because he needs to be the one in control more than ever. But then her hand wraps around him without warning, and his protest dies in a choked breath.

Her other palm traces soothing lines down his thigh, assuring him that he’s going to be taken care of, before she leans forward to kiss along his chest. Upward, soft little brushes of her lips over the hollow of his throat, the angle of his jaw, until his body starts to loosen beneath her. And the moment her hand starts stroking along his length, his lips twitch, the barest flicker of a smile breaking through his parted lips.

That alone encourages her to stroke with more intention.

“Oh, fuck,” he whines, hips jerking up to meet her, helpless yet excited. His chest heaves in uneven rhythm, breath catching on every exhale as the sweet, involuntary sounds spill from his throat.

She can’t help but look down at the picture he makes with flushed skin, curls damp against his forehead, and his cock ready and flushed in her hand, a sense of pride blooming in her chest. He’s gorgeous like this, without even knowing how much it turns her on to have him laid bare for her.

The girl drags her fist over him too slowly for Lando’s liking, but she knows exactly what she’s doing. He can tell judging by the way she looks at him, and by the pressure of her thumb swirling over his slit until precum beads and drips down his shaft.

She lets a satisfied sound out of her mouth, making Lando’s head tip against her shoulder, letting a moan out as he forces himself to watch her movements.

“Say you’re mine,” he says mostly to himself, body arching into her. “So I don’t fucking forget it when I see the shit they post online.”

Her free hand wraps around the chain around his neck like a snake, pulling him towards her. “All yours, Lan,” she breathes in unison with him. “We should’ve let them find out sooner, hm? Let them know how easily you get me soaked.”

The thought makes his cock throb in her hand.

It’s the way she knows exactly what turns him on, because she knows him better than anyone. That unravels him, catching them both off guard. His hips stutter as his orgasm rips through him, spilling hot and slick over her fingers.

She doesn’t stop. Doesn’t even flinch as her strokes stay steady, pushing him further than he thinks he can take.

“That’s a good boy, aren’t you?” she whispers. The praise makes his cock twitch in her hand again, still hard, still throbbing even through the aftershocks.

“Yes,” he moans. “Fucking hell, what are you doing?” louder this time, too far gone to care. His hand shoots up, wrapping around hers, their fingers curling together as they keep stroking him simultaneously, precise and relentless. “Need you,” Lando groans, sounding more desperate than he’d like. His hips thrust into their joined grip, his forehead pressed into her shoulder. “Need to be inside you. Baby, please.”

She breathes wetly against his cheek. “Shit. They’d never believe me if I told them you’re whining for my pussy like it’s the only thing that keeps you alive, would they?”

The worst part is that she’s already a mess herself, wet and aching, every nerve lit up from watching him fall all over their hands. The need in his voice only feeds the fire already burning in her stomach, threatening to consume her sooner rather than later.

With a satisfied sound, Lando grabs her and shifts her onto his lap, his fingers curling tight around her waist. He can’t help but admire how well she fits against him, the sight making his chest full, her thighs bracketing his hips and sweet warmth pressing against the hard line of him. His palms span her skin easily, guiding her into place as if she weighs nothing. The second her core settles over his lap, right where he needs her, he has to bite his lower lip, fighting back the embarrassingly needy moan clawing up his throat.

He can feel her, all slick and hot, every shift of her hips sending a pulse of heat through his own body, his cock quivering against her, begging for more.

Impatient, he slides one hand down between them, his fingers brushing over her soaked folds. The wetness coats his fingertips instantly, and he lets out a low laugh, teasing her, “All this just from getting me off?”

Her eyes close, but Lando doesn’t give her long to hide, because he pushes inside in one gentle motion, meeting no resistance at all. He groans at the way her body clenches immediately, velvety walls pulling him in deeper with every curl of his fingers.

“Look at you,” his voice is rough with awe. “So perfect like this.”

With a gasp, her hands fly to his shoulders, clutching for balance as he works his fingers inside her, stretching her open.

“Dripping already,” Lando notices, brushing his thumb over her clit as he pumps into her. His eyes flick up to hers, only to find her buzzing already. “That eager for me to fuck your pretty hole, baby?”

Her only answer is to roll her hips, riding his fingers, using his hand for her own pleasure. He grins, his free hand tightening around her waist, anchoring her to him even as she writhes.

“Yeah,” he whispers, leaning in a bit closer. “That’s what you want, hm? My cock instead of my fingers? Or...”

The desperate little sound she makes in response nearly throws him into a spiral. His thumb circles her clit faster, while his fingers scissor her entrance with every movement, dragging against that sensitive spot that makes her nails dig into his shoulders.

She moves against him, breathing heavily while chasing that sweet edge. Lando keeps holding her, his eyes locked on her every expression. Her body is quickly shuddering, trembling, and it only makes his cock throb harder. Unable to hold back, the hand on her waist moves down, curling around his length instead, already leaking and pulsing with the need for her. He groans at his own touch, jerking himself slowly while she squirms on his fingers. Then, with a sharp exhale, he guides the swollen head to her entrance, where his fingers are already buried, coaxing her body open.

“Fuck…” he swears, eyes closing shut for a moment. The contrast of his thick length pressing in alongside his fingers nearly wrecks them both at the same time.

She lets out a strangled moan as the head of him finally slips past her entrance, stretching her until her walls are clinging around both his cock and his fingers. She feels so full that her brain is soon short-circuiting under the sheer overload of sensation. “Lando, oh my god.”

He groans at the sound of her pleasure, overwhelmed by both the squeeze and the unbearable heat of her. “Shit, baby. You’re sucking me in. So tight like that,” his voice breaks as his hips flex up pushing deeper, careful but relentless, until he’s fully seated inside her.

Her nails scrape down his shoulders, back arching as the pressure tips over into more pleasure. He watches her face twist and crumble with every roll of his hips, and the sight alone can make him come. But then she starts to move, rocking, lifting, and sinking back down onto him with desperation. He meets her halfway, driving his hips upward in careful thrusts that push his cock and fingers into her over and over, filling her so thoroughly she can barely breathe.

The sounds their bodies make are slick, every thrust squelching as his cock slides into her soaked heat, his fingers still pumping. Soon, the room fills with shared echoes, that always come back to them: her delicious cries, his ragged curses, and the slap of their bodies meeting all over again.

Overpowered, she bows as the tension inside her finally snaps. The orgasm rips through her, violent and all-consuming, her thighs trembling as slick gushes down between them, soaking both of them. Her moans are shooting through him, muscles tightening until he can barely move. At that, Lando follows her lead, dragging his fingers out of her drenched body, coated to the knuckle. He barely has time to marvel at the sight before he grips her waist with both hands now and takes over, continuing to thrust up into her with urgency; it’s like he needs to etch himself into her until she’ll never forget the feel of him.

“Fuck, baby,” he pants, eyes fixed on her tear-streaked face, the way her mouth falls open with every sharp thrust. “They’d lose their fucking minds if they saw you this wrecked on my cock. My dirty little secret, yeah? Except you’re not a secret anymore. No... everyone’s picturing me inside you right now.”

She shakes with overstimulation, gasping and whining with every stroke of his cock. But even through the overwhelming rush of it, she clings tighter, nails raking down his back, silently begging him not to stop. Ever. And he doesn’t. He can’t, not when every squeeze of her body around him drags him closer to the edge, and definitely not when the sound of her makes his chest ache with more than lust.

“Such a pretty girl, letting me hear how good I fuck you.”

Just like that, Lando is losing the fight with his own lungs, every breath breaking ragged against her chest as his hips snap in uneven thrusts. She’s still wearing her shirt, damp with sweat now, but he couldn’t care less as he mouths at her through the thin fabric, tongue circling until her nipple peaks against the cotton. The sensation makes her jolt, a whimper breaking free as her body reacts to him without warning. The squeeze rips another helpless whine from Lando’s throat, so he buries his face deeper into her chest, muffling his sounds against her while her fingers fist into his hair, keeping him exactly where he is.

She rides him with determination, bouncing despite the exhaustion etched into her trembling limbs, her body so far past overstimulation that it feels like she’s coming with every drag of his cock inside her.

“Mine,” she gasps silently, his rhythm shattering as his body takes over.

Lando’s hips jerk wildly upward, instinct driving him deeper, until he finds the perfect thrust that finally pushes him over the edge. He tenses, every muscle straining before the release hits him in a wave so powerful it tears the air from his lungs. A high, whiny moan slips from him as his cock pulses violently inside her, spilling thick warmth that fills her to the brim. She breathes heavily at the sensation, her walls clenching greedily like she refuses to let him go. The pressure tips her over again, pleasure biting at her clit as she grinds down on him, shuddering through another messy release that leaves slick over his length.

Their sobs and gasps mix together as their bodies finally surrender, exhausted and wrung out. Her strength gives way, and she collapses onto him, her hair sticking to her flushed face and neck. His chest heaves against hers, sweat and salt and the humid press of their bodies melting them together in a bubble that’s just theirs.

She can feel the sticky warmth between them, but when Lando shifts slightly beneath her, trying to angle her more comfortably against his body, the movement makes his still-softening cock slip, and with it, their release spills hot all over them. He groans at the sensation, a sound equal parts overstimulated and cocky, his lips brushing her ear.

“See how much of me you can take?” he chuckles, brushing his nose across her cheek.

Her laugh bubbles out breathless but full of warmth, her body vibrating with the sound against his. She hides her face in his sweaty neck, giggling despite her exhaustion, while his arms lock tighter around her waist.

When her breathing finally evens out, her body melting boneless above his, she speaks shily, “That thing you did with your fingers,” Lando tilts his head, humming questioningly, but she continues, cheeks warming even though the room is dim. “I couldn’t breathe for a second.”

Lando’s hand, still splayed over her waist, freezes. His brows furrow, guilt flickering across his face even through the haze of post-orgasmic bliss. “Shit. I didn’t even think,” he says, regret lacing his tone. “Sorry if I pushed it.”

Her laugh is soft yet a little shaky, but there’s no mistaking the honesty in it. She tilts her face up, catching his eyes in the dark. “No, it felt so good. Weird at first, but so good.”

He smiles, relieved. “Yeah? So next time,” his grin deepens, mischief sparking despite his exhaustion, “We should do it with a toy?”

She sighs, swatting at his chest. “That’s pushing.”

“That’s innovative,” he corrects with mock seriousness, but his voice is already giving out, weighed down with yawns he can’t quite hold back.

Their banter drifts lazily into the quiet, and when that’s all she can hear, her fingers find his nipple in playful revenge, giving it a sharp pinch; Lando jolts, half whining, half laughing.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me,” she says. “I’m not waking up in this mess.”

He smirks, eyes closing shut anyway as he buries his face in her hair. “We’re official now. You’re gonna wake up in a mess either way.”

She knows that. She had time to think about it on her way home earlier. However, the thought didn’t scare her then, and it doesn’t scare her now. Because she realized that no mess can be that bad as long as they clean it up together.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ MASTERLIST . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

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floatingnebulas · 23 days ago

Text

Cassandra Cain and the use of ASL in this Fandom

Let's talk about Cassandra Cain and how this fandom constantly portrays her as using American Sign Language (ASL) as her primary form of communication. It is an inherently disrespectful and ableist portrayal, both of ASL as a language (and all sign languages in general) and Cass' actual disability. Additionally, as I will argue at the end of this essay (once we get through the explanation on the disrespectfulness) , I believe ASL would actually be HARDER for her to learn than English specifically because of the exact body language that many members of the fandom refer to when saying Cass should use ASL.

First off, before we begin, my qualifications to be discussing this topic: I'm Deaf. ASL is one of my two first languages (the other being English) and I regularly communicate in it with my family, my deaf/HOH friends, and people around me. I’m also the leader of an ASL interest group at my university and through it have been teaching other students on campus basic ASL for the past 3 years. I have also read a significant number of Cass' important appearances, including her first appearances in No Man's Land, all of Batgirl (2000) and the current Batgirl (2024) ongoing. I unfortunately have not read Batgirls (2022-23) yet, and I've been avoiding most of the New52 due to just not liking the majority of that era in general. That era in general though is really OOC, so most of its characterization choices shouldn’t be trusted anyway.

Let's get into this.

Part 1: Brief Info on ASL

So, in order to understand this argument, there's some things you need to understand about ASL itself just to get us all on an even playing field for this essay. If you already know a ton about ASL, feel free to skip this section.

Let's clarify what exactly ASL is first. "American Sign Language (ASL) is a visual language. With signing, the brain processes linguistic information through the eyes. The shape, placement, and movement of the hands, as well as facial expressions and body movements, all play important parts in conveying information." (National Association of the Deaf, NAD) This is the primary language of the Deaf community in the United States of America, and some parts of Canada, but not worldwide. Every region and Deaf community has its own sign language, from British Sign Language (BSL) and Chinese Sign Language (CSL/ZGS) which are huge sign languages used by massive Deaf communities in their respective regions, to the sign languages developed by individual villages and local communities such as Bouakako Sign Language or Kaʼapor Sign Language which are both localized to individual villages with a fairly high rate of Deaf people being born. So ASL is very far from universal.

ASL (along with the rest of these sign languages, but from here on out I'll refer solely to ASL), is also a full visual language. It has it's own sentence structure, grammar, transcription methods, rules, everything. It incorporates both manual components (specific shapes and movements made with your hands that are called signs) and nonmanual markers (facial expressions, head positions, posture, shoulder raising, and so on) that are regulated by the grammatical rules of the language and MUST be followed for things to make sense. For example, the signs HERE and NOT-HERE have the exact same hand shape and movement, but are differentiated between based on the movement of the head. When signing NOT-HERE, you shake your head. Similarly, LATE and NOT-YET have the same handshape again, but are differentiated between via your mouth. Properly signing NOT-YET includes slightly opening your mouth and touching your bottom lip with your tongue. This is a nonmanual marker that indicates the difference between the two. All of these are ESSENTIAL to properly understanding the language.

Additionally, ASL also has its own grammar, just like every language. Grammar just generally means the set of rules for using a language (so including the manual and nonmanual markers I just explained). What I’d like to concentrate on here is sentence structure.

If you’ve ever taken a very basic ASL course, you might have had a teacher tell you that all ASL is done in object-subject-verb (OSV) format. This is where the widespread idea of STORE-I-GO comes from. But that’s wrong. Most ASL is in subject-verb-object (SVO). I’m not going to get into all of the details on OSV vs SVO and the intricacies behind when you use one vs the other, and the difference between the actual overarching sentence structure of ASL, topic-comment, vs another structure that’s sometimes used, topicalization. If you’d like to dive into that, you can start a bit with this webpage, put together as part of the online ASL University run by Bill Vicars, a well-respected Deaf ASL instructor and content creator.

What I do what you to understand and focus on is the fact that there are rules behind when you use SVO vs OSV, and topic-comment vs topicalization. For example, SVO is used for the active voice while OSV is the passive voice (this is topic-comment). These are grammar rules, just like any other language has. Ignoring them is just like completely switching around the order of words in any English sentence. It would be ridiculous and seem like nonsense.

Finally, before we get into Cass herself, let’s discuss body language in ASL. This ties directly into my previously mentioned nonmanual markers and grammatical rules. Those nonmanual markers are governed by grammatical rules as well, and are a KEY part of ASL. They HAVE to be followed. There are two examples of this that I’d like to focus on: questions and spatial referencing.

For questions, there's two strict rules. Yes/No questions (Can I take this? Do you know where Tom is? etc) must be accompanied by raised eyebrows. A raised eyebrow indicates that this question can be answered with just yes or no. Wh- questions (Where are you? Why did you do that? What's that? etc) must have the eyebrows furrowed. These are examples of the nonmanual markers I mentioned before, and REQUIRED.

Spatial referencing is when you establish something to refer to in space. Here's a video explaining it a bit more in detail, but essentially, if I know I'll be referring back to a person or a place often when I'm having a conversation, I can metaphorically place them at a location withing my signing space and point back to that location whenever I mention them. That way, I don't have to fingerspell their name, use their signname, or however I would refer to them over and over again. For example, if I'm discussing my friend Ryan, I can fingerspell his name, point just to my left, and establish him there. Then, whenever I need to mention Ryan again in that conversation, I can point back to that location and avoid the lengthy fingerspelling process.

Alright, so those are some basics on ASL and a few specific ideas I'll be referring back to later. Let's get into Cass herself now.

Part 2: Cassandra Cain and her Disability

Cass was raised by her father, David Cain, in total isolation from any form of language, including written and signed. She was also abused and brutally trained by him in order to become the best assassin in the world. Because of these factors, her first language was body language. Cass essentially reads a person's unconscious movements and interprets them into an understanding of what they're going to do.

(Batgirl 2000, #1)

There's not a direct way to translate or truly understand this process though. It's not like she sees a movement and thinks they're going to kick me (at least not before the magic language meta touch, which if you haven't read Batgirl 2000 I'll explain in a minute). She just knows and can react.

(Batgirl 2000, #7)

The important thing to note about this is that she's reading a person's unconscious movements, the things they don't think about or instinctively do. This ranges from things as simple as my tendency to tilt my head slightly when I'm thinking hard, to Batman straightening his spine minutely as he makes the decision to attack someone. These are unconscious movements.

What's also important to mention is that the way Cass grew up physically changed her brain. Her brain is literally structured differently than the average human brain. This is what her disability is: a difficulty learning languages due to an actual physical difference in how her brain is set up. Her language centers are scattered across her brain, rather than concentrated like usual. This is a direct result of her growing up without any language other than body language, which doesn't have any form of direct translation.

(Batgirl 2000, #67)

In fact, this disconnect between Cass' brain and language is so severe that her learning English in the first place requires a deus ex machina. In Batgirl (2000) #4, Cass rescues a telepathic metahuman from being captured and taken back to the lab that experimented on him and gave him telepathic abilities in the first place. After she does this, he tries to thank her, only to realize she can't understand him. So he literally touches her forehead and restructures her entire brain, giving her an innate understanding of English.

(Batgirl 2000, #4)

Now, Cass can understand and process English. She knows what various English words mean. However, she still can't speak it, and learning how to do more than say a single word at a time, and how to form proper sentence structure is an arc that takes up the entire rest of the Batgirl 2000 ongoing.

(Batgirl 2000, #5)

However, as Cass soon realizes, this transformation comes with a cost. She can no longer understand people's body language. Her understanding of English is physically preventing her brain from working how it did before, to process body language.

(Batgirl 2000, #5)

Cass is willing to give up this new understanding of English to go back to how she used to be before. But, when she finds the telepath again and confronts him, he can't undo what he's done.

(Batgirl 2000, #5)

This does lead to Cass finding Lady Shiva and bargaining with her to be taught how to read body language again, in exchange for dueling to the death with her in a year. That's where the "mediocre for a lifetime, or perfect for a year?" panel comes from. But the details of that aren't super important to our discussion, just know that Cass does relearn the body language reading, just to a slightly lesser degree of proficiency than before.

The important thing to get from this is that Cass' brain is fundamentally structured so differently from most brains that her even beginning to learn English, her physically having the ability to start understanding any language, requires a full on deus ex machina from the writers. She couldn't have learned any language otherwise, and she still has to struggle through learning to speak, then eventually read and write. Even by close to the end of Batgirl (2000), she still hasn't learned to read or write.

(Batgirl 2000, #54)

So Cass' disability isn't as simple as "didn't learn a language other than body language and now needs to learn." She straight up struggles to comprehend things like the concept of grammar, sentence structure, and even that there are meanings behind specific collections of letters without a fulll on deus ex machina. Her brain is physically built differently.

Alright, now let's talk about Cass and ASL together.

Part 3: Cass and ASL

Okay, now onto the real topic of this whole thing. Should Cass learn ASL before English, and would it be easier for her?

Simple answer: No.

As I mentioned before, ASL wouldn't be any easier than English for her, and saying that disrespects both ASL and Cass' own disability. When people tend to write Cass using ASL instead of English, or having learned ASL before learning English, the primary reason given is that ASL is just "easier" for her to learn.

There's two main issues with this: grammar rules, and body language.

As I've mentioned and explained some of the basics of previously, ASL is a full language. This means it has its own grammar, sentence structure, rules, everything. As I also previously explained, Cass' brain is literally built different. She struggles to understand even basics concepts of grammar rules and how a language works, because she's never been exposed to anything like that. Saying that ASL would be an easier language for her to learn than English is just as problematic and harmful as saying any other spoken language, such as Spanish, Russian, Japanese, Mandarin (we'll ignore the incredibly racist writing of One Year Later right now), or any others would be easier for her to learn. It fundamentally ignores that every language has its own complexities and difficulties with grammar rules. It also ignores that Cass's difficulty lies primarily not with speaking, but with understanding how to convey things in a proper format and structure. Any language, spoken, signed, and written, will all have those same difficulties. Saying that one language is easier than the others for Cass to learn, despite her struggles lying with the concept of language and its rules in general and is disrespectful of that language, implies that it isn't a "real" language (which ASL and other sign languages, in particular, have a very long history with. ASL wasn't actually recognized as a language until the 60s).

But, aside from the grammar issues, let's tackle the main reason most fans seem to believe ASL would be easier for Cass to learn: body language. It is true that ASL uses a lot of body language when signing. However, as I previously described with nonmanual markers, the difference between yes/no and wh- questions, and establishing a signing space, that body language is heavily regulated. There's rules behind what certain movements mean, and those rules are very important. There's a HUGE impact in what facial expressions you use, how your mouth moves, and even what way you're facing. When you sign, you have to consciously (or sometimes unconsciously if you're good enough) think about the proper way to move your body in order to convey what you mean. Cass, as I explained before, specifically reads unconscious body movements. She reads the things you're not thinking about, like how you scrunch in slightly when you're cold, shift your legs when you're uncomfortable, or your eye twitches when it's strained due to lack of sleep. That's what she understands, and its EXTREMELY different from the regulated, purposeful movements of ASL. There's a huge gap between the two, and to say that Cass would just understand the nonmanual markers associated with signing because she can understand unconscious movements ignores all of the rules and specifics that go into ASL nonmanual markers.

So no, ASL wouldn't be any easier for Cass to learn than English, and stating so heavily disrespects ASL (because it ignores all of the complexities that go into the language), and Cass' own disability (because it ignores exactly what she struggles with).

In fact, as I mentioned way earlier (congrats if you've made it this far! PLEASE PLEASE let me know what you think! I'd love to discuss this!), I would actually argue that Cass would have a harder time learning ASL than English.

Part 4: Cass Struggling with ASL

This part is solely my own opinion, but let's get into it. This idea centers around the same nonmanual markers I've mentioned a bunch before. Like I explained, they're purposeful. They have rules behind them. They're fundamentally different from the unconscious body language Cass is used to reading.

I think that fundamental difference between the two would be a barrier for Cass. With a nonmanual marker, she might automatically be trying to apply her understanding of unconscious body language to a conscious nonmanual marker and get two conflicting ideas out of them. Like, let's go back to the idea of setting things up in space.

In order to reference back to something you've set up in space, you typically point at the location you've established. Here, the point specifically means you're referring back to whatever the thing is. Nothing else. However, typically when people are speaking to each other, pointing or shifting your body away from the person you're speaking to can mean anything from you're trying to get attention off of yourself, or you're interested in something else.

I think that for Cass, when she's starting out with learning languages and still struggling to understand some of the stricter grammar rules in language in general, these two things might conflict and make ASL hard for her.

Do I think this means she can never learn ASL? No! Absolutely not! She can 100% learn ASL! Anyone can!

I just think that her learning ASL specifically in the beginning wouldn't go very well. But, of course, that's just my opinion.

Part 5: Final Notes

I'd like to state, for the record, that I'm not saying everyone who has ever said Cass should primarily use ASL is ableist and awful. I'm not, not in the slightest. I'm just trying to bring some of this stuff to people's attention and teach people why I, personally, think that portraying Cass as someone who only uses ASL because it's easier is harmful. This is me educating, not accusing. Please don't attack me. I also know that a lot of these issues are due to just not knowing, and aren't purposeful on the part of the fans.

Let's also go over a few things I think people might ask.

I've seen Cass use signs in the comics.

No, actually! Cass sometimes uses hand gestures, but they are not the same thing.

(Batgirl 2000, #2 & #3)

(Detective Comics #734)

She will use basic gestures to represent things (particularly early on in her appearances, with the first two being from Batgirl 2000 before the magic metahuman touch and the third being from her second ever comic appearance during No Man's Land), not actual signs. This is akin to the difference between doing a thumbs up/down, and actually signing yes/no. So no, she doesn't sign.

2. Cass signs in Young Justice though?

The Young Justice TV isn't canon, and is already extremely different from the comics. In Young Justice, Lady Shiva severed her vocal cords as a child, instead of David Cain raising her in isolation, so also completely different backstories. She literally can't speak there, and doesn't seem to have the same language disability with her brain being built different as in the comics. I'm talking about canon Cass here, the Cass raised to be an assassin by her father.

3. But what about her being a good reason for the Bats to know ASL for my story?

She's not. There's plenty of other reasons the Bats might learn to sign, and I really think they should know ASL! It would be a good way for them to communicate in situations where they need to be silent, and it'd let them communicate with more people and in particular any ASL users in Gotham in an emergency (the same reason they learn so many spoken languages). Dick, in particular, also has a completely different reason: Joey Wilson, aka Jericho, the son of Deathstroke.

(New Teen Titans: The Judas Contract)

Joey is one of the Teen Titans, from Dick's early Nightwing era, and canonically mute after his throat was slit when he was kidnapped as a child. Joey, after the events of Judas Contract, joins the team and becomes a full member of the Teen Titans, being a regularly appearing character in subsequent issues. Dick, because of this, learns more ASL and becomes fluent.

(Also notice the line Dick says in the second image, stating that Batman has previously tried to teach him ASL. The Bats in general, not just Dick, are already thinking about ASL and learning it before Cass is introduced).

4. What if I HC Cass as Deaf?

That's an entirely different story, and just like with YJTV, isn't in the canon comics at all. I'm specifically speaking about canon Cass here. My only thing to say about that is this: why do you HC her as Deaf? If it's solely for angst purposes, I'd tell you to look up the term inspiration porn. (That's an entirely separate rant that I may give someday, but not right now). If it's specifically to justify her using ASL, then think about that justification in relation to this post. Otherwise, have fun? I'm not going to police your HC.

Alright, that's everything now. If you have any other questions, or want to talk about this at all, then please do! I would LOVE to discuss this further. This post may seem pretty long, but it's a product of my longtime frustration with the way Cass and ASL are commonly portrayed in posts and fics. Often, it's bad enough that I'll just close out of things entirely and go rant to some of my friends. They've heard this rant multiple times now. Please, just consider what I've said here.

Finally, I am, of course, not the final jury and judge on Cassandra Cain and ASL. There may be other people who are Deaf/HOH or intimately familiar with ASL (as in, more than just a couple of semesters of an introductory ASL course. Please, please, please never portray yourself as an expert on ASL if you've only just started to learn the language and have never gotten directly involved with Deaf culture) who disagree with me. That's perfectly fine, and I'd LOVE to hear their opinions, or the opinions of anyone more familiar with Cass' own language learning disability (which I don't have any form of). This is all strictly my thoughts on Cass and ASL, and why I think it's disrespectful to portray her like this.

Thank you all for reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this essay. Have a wonderful day!

Edit, as of ~1 hour after posting this:

I completely forgot to include my 5th little bullet point thing at the end! It was in my head and everything, and I was so determined to remember to include it! 100% my bad oops. Anyway, here it is.

5. What about if she experiences some sort of traumatic event and goes nonverbal for a bit?

That's a caveat to this whole post, and SUPER valid. Plenty of people will go nonverbal sometimes, whether it's because of a traumatic event or stressful situation or anything. There's tons of causes for it, and a lot of those people will use some form of sign language to communicate while they feel they can't speak. This post is not saying that writing Cass (or any other character too) as unable to speak sometimes in those sort of situations and choosing to use sign language is wrong.

What I'm primarily writing about here is when Cass is portrayed as either only using ASL all the time and not speaking at all, or when she still speaks in stilted, clipped or misarranged sentences for a bit before getting frustrated and switching to using ASL and suddenly being able to convey exactly what she wants with proper grammar. Those are very different situations from temporarily using ASL in response to some sort of event. They're also the situations that frustrate me the most and feel the most ableist. I'm not attacking the idea of characters going nonverbal for a bit at all.

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 8 months ago

Text

Malleus Draconia: Made Up

… Why does Malleus continue to have some of the most “hey are u lost bbg” facial expressions + poses ever on his initial birthday card artworks… 💀

He really looks like his mom when his hair is all pinned back like in his alt and Groovy look. xbjsbsjww The makeup products he’s using… They look like Giorgio Armani 💰

Rise and Shine!

Humans were blessed with two hands with which to do all of their work. Malleus Draconia had no need for either of his.

Lipstick, liquid eyeshadow, and finishing powder lifted into the air, glowing an eerie green. They uncapped and began applying themselves, gliding easily across his lips, painting his lids, and patting down his pale skin. Already, a cloth was busy polishing his horns, and a brush ran through his hair. A mirror, magically suspended before him, displayed his regal visage--a work of art slowly coming into its peak form.

You had heard Scarabia's vice dorm leader mention that he used magic to do his hair--a complex, precise process--but had never in your life witnessed a show like this. You clapped for Malleus, as if a spectator that had just seen a most wonderous trick.

He cut you a curious look. "May I ask why the applause, child of man?"

"It's just so cool seeing you use your magic," you replied truthfully. "There's so many things happening at once, it's hard to know where to keep my eyes. You're really amazing!"

There was a sound akin to a stifled chortle. These, you had grown accustomed to.

"You never cease to surprise. This is but a modicum of what I am capable of." He almost seemed to pout as he said it, as if itching to demonstrate the full extent of his powers. Wanting praise for something more.

"Oh, trust me. I know you are--but it's nice to see the Malleus Draconia using his magic to do normal, everyday stuff too." You grinned, ducking behind him to peek into his mirror. Your gazes met in the sparkling glass. "I wish everyone could see this."

"It is hardly a matter of importance to share the details of my morning routine with the masses. Besides, Grandmother would no doubt grant me a thorough scolding for allowing myself to be seen in such an improper state.”

He yawned, and a hand moved to cover his mouth, where you caught a glimpse of pointed canines. A rare moment of cuteness, of vulnerability. A side of himself kept private. Such a mundane thing--it reminded you that he, too, was but a student, preparing to tackle another day.

"Maybe not, but then again… maybe they'd see what I see too."

You quirked a brow. "And what is it that you see?"

"That you're not as scary as whatever scary made-up version of yourself they have in their heads. It's not all doom and gloom, wrath and lightning. You're someone that laughs and cries too."

"... Do they have that impression of me?" Malleus brought a hand to his chin. "Odd. When I last conversed with a peer of mine, they were so elated to be in my presence that they fainted on the spot. Lilia commended me for making such a strong impression on them."

"Erm... Lilia might not be the best judge for that." You poked at the corners of your mouth. "You have a nice smile, so how about showing it more? That might draw people to you."

"Hmmm. Like this, perhaps?"

He attempted to imitate you. The result was an awkward facsimile of your smile. Not quite the same curve, and with the tips of his fangs poking out. His eyes, still ominous.

Clumsy, but a little dangerous.

Your heart sprouted wings and fluttered. “It’s a good start! You’ll get the hang of it with more practice.”

Malleus sighed, and at once, the items that had been hovering around him collapsed along with his breath. “This is a conundrum. As a public figure and representative of my country, it’s imperative that I maintain my reputation.”

The fluttering in your chest settled like a stone sinking into the bottom of a lake. A sudden weight, a sadness, sitting in your stomach. He cut a gallant figure--but without the fairy lights and fire, he was but a pitiful creature trapped within stone walls.

Lonely and misunderstood.

Without a word, you slipped a hand into his. Malleus felt cold to the touch, like some long-forgotten relic dug up from some ruins.

His eyes shot wide open with alarm. "What are you..."

"Let's walk to class like this," you suggested softly. "I know you wouldn't harm me. If everyone else can see that... they'd understand, right?"

Shock flooded Malleus's face. Then, like a flash of lightning and a fleeting bellow of thunder, it was over, replaced by the faintest chuckle.

"... Very well." He squeezed your hand, the motion sending sparks of electricity through you. "I would not be opposed to this. If they are to weave tall tales, then all we must do is flip the script and write a story of our own to combat theirs."

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #Malleus Draconia #Malleus Draconia x Reader #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #Reader #self insert #Malleus birthday takeover #jp spoilers #something no one asked for #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland scenarios

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sparrowlucero · 1 year ago

Note

what's the flight rising art direction post?? I used to play that game

for everyone who doesn't know flight rising is a virtual pet site ala neopets, but with dragons. On its forums I made a thread pointing out that the dragon designs were becoming relatively more "same face" over time, with similar face shapes and often with a similar "noodly" anatomy my point being that they were both losing some of the charm of a lot of the animals they were based on (with bug, bird, and eel inspired dragons all looking somewhat similar and mammalian), and even more pertinently, not allowing for a wide variety of body types for user characters in the game - with most of the gameplay being a dressup/character creator, you see why having very few buff, chubby, stocky, etc character designs is a pretty big downside. These are the dragons released in the first half of the website's history, with the shapes outlined:

(these pairs are the same species but have somewhat different body shapes, so they were both outlined) And these are the dragons released recently. The stockier guy on the bottom left is the very oldest of these:

I also pointed out several of these designs have very similar faces, relative to the facial variety you could have with dragon designs (other two recent guys are outlined above):

In comparison, here's some of the head shapes from earlier dragon designs:

and yeah I think you can see what I mean about the shape language getting a bit more homogeneous. I expressed that I felt like the art team may have observed the popularity of the thinner, doglike dragons in comparison to the chubby reptilian ones and decided to err towards the former.

I also drew some dragons to better get across my point about shape language when people suggested I was failing to account for the fact that the "sameface" dragons weren't entirely identical:

(obviously I'm exaggerating shapes for clarity of point; clarifying here as some people believed I was knocking the art style and wanted it to be more cartoonish...) I also pointed out that you could easily draw very identifiable fanart of two breeds which people were saying looked different:

(someone told me these didn't read as fanart of either dragon. you be the judge, I guess) I did get a lot of very nice comments, both in agreement and disagreement, but also some comments that I was being disingenuous, arrogant, or (much more dishearteningly) suggesting that fat designs are simply too unappealing and that the artists can't waste their time on it because the website is a business.

yesterday they released a sneak peak at their newest dragons, which people believe are cetacean inspired. I tuned in as the initial preview (which only featured an arm) made it look pretty stocky:

but, shocker:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#sorry this is more salty than the original post #I don't really care anymore but I did sigh out loud when i saw the dolphin dragons #talking tag

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startaegi · 8 months ago

Text

CHAPTER 001. favourite crime.

in which namgyu breaks the heart of his childhood sweetheart and tries to piece it back together again while fighting death.

previous next masterlist playlist

you often wondered about the first moment you fell in love. it happened so quickly that you couldn't quite recall the moment it finally clicked. the same thought followed you in the small hours of the night, on the long work days when your feet and back ached, and especially on the days when you missed his presence most.

It had been the summer of 2008 when you first met him. you were a bright eyed eleven year old, too innocent for the world. the sun had finally started shining after a long week of summer showers and so your sketch pads laid against the hot pavement, pencils scattered around you. your bottom lip was jutted in concentration, hands flying across the paper, a brown pencil tucked between your fingers.

you paused as a shadow blocked the sunlight casting darkness across your drawing. you slowly glanced upward expecting your mother but instead a boy towered over you, eyes focused on the paper at your folded legs. you looked down and back at him again.

"that's pretty good" he said, finger pointed to the cat drawing you were currently sketching.

"thanks" you replied, tone clipped. "can you move? you're blocking the sunlight"

he shuffled to the side, the soles of his shoes scuffing against the pavement. he continued to hover over you for the next minute or two, eyes focused and head moving when your pencil flicked in a certain direction. you tried your best to remain cool, uncomfortable under the unknown boys stare.

you dropped the pencil, staring up at him. "what are you doing?" you questioned.

"watching you" he replied matter of factly.

"it's creepy"

he shrugged. "as i've heard before"

his words softened your gaze a little. you knew what kids were like. their mean words, their horrid actions. you had known it a little too well, it was the reason you chose to stay so close guarded. even at eleven you knew how cruel the world could be.

you straightened your back, apologetically looking back at him. "i didn't mean that" you said sincerely.

"it's okay, i'm used to it" he laughed it off. "do you live here?" the boy pointed to the house behind you, the one with the windows pulled open and the trot music lowly drifting out.

"yeah" You admitted, a little embarrassed.

he scratched the back of his arm, a red mark, almost like a burn, stood out against his pale skin. "cool, we're neighbours" he beamed.

hyehwa station was fairly empty for a saturday night. the only sounds came from the racketing trains passing through and the footsteps of the commuters heading home after their 9 to 5's. you wrapped the coat tighter around yourself, attempting to savour the warmth and took a seat at the empty bench. the small screen read ten minutes until the next train to itaewon. you let out a sigh stretching your legs. the long work hours were slowly killing you.

too busy trying not to fall asleep you took no notice of the person now sat beside you, too tired to care, until he loudly cleared his throat. you looked to your right, a well dressed man smiled, a little menacing if you were honest, at you, briefcase at his side. you smiled awkwardly back, bowing your head slightly out of politeness.

"would you like to play a game?" the man questioned, the same uncanny smile on his face.

the unsettling feeling of dread settled in your stomach. you moved closer to the edge of the bench, as far from him as you could. "excuse me?" you replied.

his head titled to the side, facial expression frozen. "would you like to play a game?" he repeated.

"no thank you" you muttered under your breath.

the stranger didn't reply instead he stood up, opening the briefcase on the now empty spot he had once been sitting. you watched him in confusion, you didn't have the time or energy to be dealing with the strange people that frequented the subway stations. you pinched the bridge between your eyebrows, sighing loudly.

"would you like to play a game?" he asked again as if stuck on a record.

"look-" you started, turning to face him but froze momentarily. "what?" you asked dumbfounded.

enough money to pay the month's rent gleamed up at you. stacks upon stacks of korean won sat neatly in the briefcase. you glanced up at him and back at the bills again. you didn't hesitate before asking, “what's the game?"

the man's eyes sparkled, his smile somehow becoming wider. he reminded you of something from the horror comics you used to read as a child.

he reached into the case pulling out two envelopes, red and blue. “ddakji" he said, gaze fixated on you. "i’m sure you know how to play"

you hadn't in years, you'd probably only played it once or twice but you nodded nonetheless.

his twinkling eyes crinkled with a smile, "win and i'll give you 100,000 won. lose and you'll receive a punishment." he paused. "ready?"

your brows furrowed. "punishment?"

"just a light slap"

at this point you didn't care, you would've taken any punishment if it meant winning the money in that briefcase and you were winning it.

"okay" you agreed, standing up and shrugging the backpack from your shoulders, then placing it onto the bench.

five rounds later and you were 100,000 won richer. your left cheek throbbed, your eyes filled with tears. your mouth tasted metallic from the cuts you'd bit into your cheeks in frustration. he was too good at this, his calmness told you he'd done it one too many times.

"congratulations" the man applauded, slowly clapping.

you stared back at him through hooded eyes, attempting to catch your breath. he stretched out a hand, fingers delicately picking up the stack of cash and passing it to you. you quickly snatched it, scared he would take it away from you and tucked it safely into the pocket of your coat.

he closed the case, turning to face you cheerfully. it seemed this man didn't know how to be upset. he reached into his pocket, taking out a small brown card and holding it out for you. you hesitated but took it from his grasp. three symbols stared up you, a square, a triangle and a circle.

"call the number on the back if you're interested in winning a lot more" he said, bowing in your direction and then taking off towards the exit.

you flipped it over and truth be told a number was there. your mouth twisted, mind in battle with itself. if it was another game of ddakji or even worse, some other childhood game, you'd be screwed, you would be loosing whatever money was up for grabs in the first round. your childhood was spent in comic books and colouring pencils, or in textbooks and homework, not on the playground with other kids playing games, you'd have no idea how too.

your mind contemplated it over on the train ride home, occupying your running thoughts with something else for once. you entered the cold apartment at almost midnight, instantly throwing yourself face down onto the bed. your backpack and coat still on. you let your body sink into the mattress, exhaling loudly. the apartment was silent, so quiet you could hear the refrigerator humming and the wind rattling against the windows.

these were the nights when your mind went to him. hhen it was quiet. when it was your heartbeat you could hear and not his underneath you. you flipped onto your back, backpack digging into you, moving uncomfortably you pulled it from your shoulders tossing it onto the floor. your fingers found your pockets taking out the brown card, staring intently at the phone number. when had your life become such a shit show. when had accepting a beating from a stranger in the subway station for 100,000 become the normal. this wasn't how you planned it for yourself. you often wondered where it all went wrong.

previous next masterlist playlist

note . . . i had to give the reader an age to make the story make sense!! i listened to rosé’s album on repeat writing this chapter and it fits the plot perfectly. layout inspo for entire series belongs to @ourseasone

taglist . . . let me know if you wanna be added!

#namgyu x reader #nam gyu x reader #namgyu x fem reader #squid game x reader #player 124 x reader #player 124 #｡𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ favourite crime

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naburi · 11 months ago

Text

I KNOW I STILL LOVE YOU

WONYOUNG X READER

TAGS: DEEPTHROAT, FINGER PLAY, FINGER SUCKING, MOUTHFUCK, COWGIRL, HARDFUCK

1.5K WORDS

Dealing with a break up is never easy, it’s been a few weeks now and you still find yourself staring at the ceiling wondering where it goes wrong. Alone in your apartment, these sad songs are lulling you to sleep. A wet sensation awakens you, a slim fingers touch, a pair of familiar eyes gazing up on you while your cock slowly disappears in her mouth.

The eyes that give you pitiful looks when she wants you to buy her ice cream, the same eyes that darts deadly stares when you do something that annoys her, the eyes that want to kill you when she sees you around with any female. This is also the same eyes that teared as she’s asking for a break up. “Won…,” you stuttered while calling the woman who is in between your legs.

Her nose hit your lower abdomen as she engulfed all of your shaft, her gag is not budging as the result of your endless mouthfuck when your libido’s are both high. Her empty gaze is full of eagerness, she herself doesn’t know what she wants or what she is trying to do by showing up in your apartment late at night. All the woman knows is you are with her for the rest of the night.

Wonyoung is lifting up her head, a low groan came out of you as you felt the tightness of her throat. The tight throat that she uses when she needs to apologize for her bratty behavior, the throat that she used to suck away your bad mood. She knows what her mouth can do thus she is shamelessly using it to her advantage, wondering what does that mouth want from you this time.

Her tongue touches the bottom of your shaft grazing upwards to your tip as she slowly lifts her head. Her tongue leaves multiple licks to your tips before raising her head completely. An awkward silence fills the air, you're waiting for her to say she is thinking about you, or she can say she’s missing you lately, or she wants you back and you will believe it because those are the words that you wanted to hear.

Slim fingers reach out your sacks, giving them a soft massages before reaching up to your shaft. A realization hit you, if this is all she wants, then you’ll give her all you got. You reached for Wonyoung's face, reminiscing every time you touched your girlfriend’s pretty face. You touched her face when you found her cute, or the times when you comfort her when she’s crying. You always touched her face when she’s your back then.

Your thumbs felt her lower lips, gently feeling her small soft lips just before sucking your thumb, swirling her tongue while it's inside your mouth, teasing you about what she wants you to do with your cock. You tried to remove your thumb so that she can finally do her work to your waiting cock. She felt your hand moving away thus holding your wrist with her two small hands to put it in place.

Your hand in front of her face, she looks at you while she swallows your middle finger and ring finger. You felt your two fingers get wet inside her mouth. She let off the fingers for her to gasp some air before sucking the two of them like it’s your cock. Wonyoung gives off a lewd facial expression as she’s clearly getting turned on by what she’s doing.

The woman continues on sucking off your fingers, she’s alternating on sucking down on them and swirling her tongue on the tips of them, she’s also sucking between your middle and ring finger to make sure your fingers are as wet as her slit. Wonyoung moves closer to you, now sitting in her long dress getting tangled up on her waist to reveal her white underwear that now looks transparent due to how wet she made herself.

Wonyoung felt the warmth of your cock closer to her clit. Knowing your girlfriend, she sits in front of your cock to tease you. “Mmmm,” the woman moans as she’s clearly enjoying sucking your fingers while she’s now grinding on top of your cock. Your thick cock cold as it feels the wetness of her undies.

You started to ram your two fingers to her mouth as you’re also getting aroused. You hold her head in your other hand as you put your fingers in and out of her tight mouth. The woman seems to enjoy her mouth getting finger fucked as her grinding on your cock gets aggressive as well. She now holds your hand firmly to purposefully put your fingers as deep in her throat.

Her two holes are getting too aroused. She removes your fingers in her mouth leaving it coated in her saliva. Wonyoung now focuses on the thick cock she’s riding. She moves aside her wet underwear to give way to the cock that she rides for a thousand times. You been together for years, living in your apartment, her hot and fragile body, this factors leads to her getting used like a fuck doll.

Your cock slides in inside her slit swiftly due to how wet Wonyoung is. She misses this sensation, your thick cock expanding her tight walls, she remembers all the curves and edges of your cock that makes her moan every time you pumped that cock inside. The woman holds on your shoulders to stabilize herself, taking your cock inside her.

“I miss you,” Wonyoung said sincerely, “I miss this cock of yours,” her lust also talked. As she continues to sway her lips, you remember how tight her slit is, no matter how deep you fuck her. Her slit keeps getting back her tightness. It feels like you're always taking her virginity.

The two of you exchanged moans as she kept her pace up. The woman rides your cock like she wants to milk the cum out of you. Her tightness is begging for you to fuck her in more ways, which you did. You hold her waist down while you forcefully move your hips up to fuck the tight body on top of you. This caught her by surprise and gave a loud moan.

Your two hands on the side of her waist can touch due to how skinny her waist is, her light body gets pushed up in the air as you keep pumping her upwards. The woman calls your name between her loud moans. Her hands are wandering around your torso trying to grab on to something to stabilize herself.

She managed to wrap her arms around your neck, her body now is laying on top of your chest, you come face to face with the woman that broke your heart. The woman who you fall in love with is laying on top of you like the old times. It became a habit for her to visit your apartment after class, doing nothing while in the arms of one another.

You wrap your arms unto her back to hold her in place. The only two things that you can hear right now is her slit getting fucked rapidly and her load cry of pleasure. Eyes closed as all she can do is to feel her slit getting drilled by your cock in an inhumane pace. The pain you felt in your break up turns into a wild assault into her slit.

Tears started to shed due to how stimulated her slit is, her body began to impulsive twitch, you know she’s near her second orgasm and you're more than glad to give it to her. Your two hands move to grab her tight buttocks to give her slit, fast and deep pounding, the sound of your flesh colliding is like music to your ears.

Wonyoung cries, her wrapped arms around your neck get tighter, her face sunk in your collarbone. You let her rest on top while she catches her breath, her orgasm pours down while your hard cock is still inside her. The woman mastering up some energy to form a sentence, “I know I love you.”

She kisses your lips, holding her lips on top of you for a while longer before the two of you start making out. You felt her hips moving up, making a loud pop as your cock got out of her wet tight slit. You finally see her giggle again, as she finds the sound her pussy made funny. You never thought that you would share a good laugh together.

Kisses and giggles, it seems like that are the only things the both of you can do for tonight. “I feel hungry,” she said in the middle of your conversation. You help each other get dressed while giving glances that you can’t believe they got back together.

“I want samyang”

“Me too, let’s get the spicy one”

“NOOOO”

Wonyoung is trying to use her cuteness to get a regular samyang.

“Look, let’s buy some snack to store our energy”

“Why do we need to store energy?” You asked in confusion.

Wonyoung gives you a naughty look while poking out her tongue.

#k pop smut #reader smut #wonyoung smut #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x you

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matryosika · 2 years ago

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NCT127 + NCT DREAM: When they first slide it in

Members included in order — Jaehyun, Mark, Haechan, Johnny, Jeno and Jaemin. Genre — Smut headcanons (18+) Wordcount — 1,100 words Includes — Fem!Reader, suggestive content. Mentions of penetrative vaginal sex, use of petnames, dirty talk. Author's note — First NCT post! This was completely inspired by Juno's (@hyunsvngs) post on OT8 (skz) and the faces they would make when sliding it in. It's such a good read and if you missed it, pretty please go check it out! Wanted to do my own version with some NCT members, so here it is. This is mostly to try and fight back my writer's block, but I hope you all like it.

Jaehyun:

Eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted, definitely.

He is the type to let out quiet but deep sighs, and keeps his gaze fixed on where your bodies connect —when he first slides his dick inside of you, he needs to watch. He loves to see how your pussy swallows him full, loves to see it disappearing inside of you. If he is fucking you in missionary, his head would fall down to enjoy the show. But, as soon as he bottoms out, he is quick to lift his eyes up to see you. He needs to see your facial expressions, to hear those gasps and whines you let out whenever he hits the deepest spot between your walls.

Big fan of kissing your jaw and neck while he waits for you to adjust to his size, all whilst emitting quiet but deep groans. I honestly sense he is the type to ask you a question or two before moving inside of you, like a sweet “are you okay?” or “are you ready?”. But like in a whisper, barely even letting the words out. When you just nod, he hums, looking for your approval. “Mhm? Can I fuck you now baby?”

Mark:

It really depends on his mood.

If he’s acting all dom, like he is in control, he would try to act in control of himself as well —eyes close shut, and teeth digging on his lower lip. He is also definitely the type to whisper a long “fuck” as he bottoms out for the first time that night. But when Mark is too needy, and desperate, and he doesn’t really care about holding himself back, that’s when you see his true expressions when he first slides his dick inside you: hazy, lost gaze. I should add that he is also most likely to go a bit crossed-eye/blank eyes right before closing them slowly, immersing himself in the feeling. I can actually hear him saying “shit, just like that baby,” as your walls squeeze him just right. He would try really hard to make eye contact with you, but can you even blame him for not being able to? I just know his dick is always too sensitive, and it takes all effort within him not to come right then and there after first sliding himself inside you.

Haechan:

Oh he really fucking tries to hold himself back. Much more than he would like to.

Haechan tries to appear all collected, but he can feel his heart beating on his throat and his cock twitching when the tip is barely even in. He is the type to slowly close his eyes, almost at the same time he slides his dick right in; also lets out a deep sigh along with all of it. He would pretend he is unaffected by how warm and slippery you are, but his hands would betray him shamelessly —if he is holding you by your hips, he would grip them almost painfully; if he is holding your hands, he would squeeze them too harshly. I also feel like Haechan is the type to curse under his breath or whisper things to himself when he first feels your walls clenching tightly around him. A “so fucking tight” might escape his lips, or an almost whiny “oh God”.

Johnny:

He talks you through it.

It’s not necessarily because I see Johnny mostly as a dominant, but I feel like he loves to take the lead in situations like this. He is the type to make sure you’re really comfortable, that he feels just right inside you. All of his psyche is focused entirely on you, so it’s no surprise that he can control all of his facial expressions and body language to admire and take care of yours. And because he is so in control of himself, I can’t really picture any instinctive or involuntary gestures from him. Nothing but one: a fucking deep, almost predatory gaze. His eyes never leave yours.

If, by any means he cracks, I can picture him as one to slightly part his lips and let out a quick gasp.

If he sees you crying, or whining, his eyebrows would go from a straight line to a subtle furrow and he would want to know how you’re feeling, “too much?”, “slower?”, “talk to me, pretty”. I can also almost see his jaw getting tense when he bottoms out, feeling how your walls are squeezing his dick ridiculously aggressively, “want me to stretch you out for me?”, “You’re still so tight, baby. Weren’t my fingers enough?”

Jeno:

One word: veins.

I can honestly picture Jeno’s facial expressions in such a very specific way. He is definitely the type to let out a somewhat twisted smile when he feels how tight you are for the first time that night, the veins on his neck and forehead/temple becoming too prominent as he tries to regain the control your body has taken away from him.

Cheeks and nose flushed, and a really piercing gaze that makes you feel so small —whether you’re on top or underneath him. Jeno would be damned if he loses eye contact with you, he is the type to fix his gaze on yours as he slowly bottoms out inside of you. Also asks you questions to make you realize how cock-drunk you’ve become, despite him being barely in: “did you miss it, baby?”, or “how badly you want me?”. He doesn’t expect any kind of answer from you whatsoever, but he still scoffs under his breath when he sees how fucked out you’re by so little.

Jaemin:

Eyebrows so furrowed, eyes closed shut and lower lip caught between his teeth.

Jaemin definitely lets out a deep groan, or even a desperate whine, followed by a sweet “oh baby”. He slides his dick in and bottoms out painfully slow —to tease you and himself, of course. Like Jaehyun, only when he bottoms out does he open his eyes to see your face in pure bliss; he might even offer you a complicated, small smile at the sight of pain imprinted on your face. He takes his time prior to fucking you, and he just enjoys the feeling of your cunt cockwarming him. If your eyes start to tear up because of the big stretch his dick is providing you, I can definitely see him as the type to wipe your tears one by one while he gives you words of affirmation. Also feel like he is one to give you instructions on your position to feel his cock better. “There, baby. You’ve taken me before, open up your legs for me more, yeah?”

#nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #jaehyun smut #mark smut #haechan smut #johnny smut #jeno smut #jaemin smut #kpop smut

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jedipoodoo · 28 days ago

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Meiloorun Lotion (Sergeant Hunter x GN Reader)

Notes: Hunter's senses. That's it, that's the story. No warnings, established relationship, domestic Hunter and Reader Tech and Crosshair are the youngest and it shows.

"Hey sweetheart, do you know where my jacket is?" Hunter asked.

"Oh!" You pushed your hair back, "It's hanging up by the door. Mine were all in the wash, so I used it when I went to get the supplies for dinner. I'm sorry, I should have asked you."

"That's fine," Hunter said quickly.

Tech looked up from chopping vegetables, for all his exceptional brilliance looking absolutely bewildered "The last time Crosshair used your jacket without asking you used your knife to-"

Hunter nudged him--perhaps a bit too harshly--as he hurried to the door to grab said jacket. The affection the two of you had for each other was no secret, but his brothers still tried to tease him about it from time to time.

"Wrecker's bringing the skiff in, I'm going to help..." His voice trailed off as he got one arm in the sleeve. He brought the collar to his nose, sniffing at it delicately like a moon-yo inspecting a piece of fruit.

"Everything okay?" You asked nervously. Had you spilled something on his jacket without noticing?

"Yeah, everything's fine. Hunter said, feet shuffling as he hurriedly pulled on the jacket. "Be back later."

The door slammed shut, certainly much louder than he'd intended. But you brushed it off, and helped Shep with the rest of dinner.

When Hunter returned with Wrecker, he was quiet. Wrecker carried conversation easily, telling Omega about all the different ocean creatures he'd seen. Hunter's silence might have gone undetected if you hadn't noticed his facial expressions. Even if he didn't have much to say, he was usually paying attention, laughing at his brother's jokes or smiling, nodding attentively at Omega and following the conversation. But tonight his mind was on something else. He stared down at his hands as he helped wrap the sushi rolls, moving from task to task as if in a daze. Even while you ate, he kept his eyes on his own plate, moving slowly. He hadn't even taken off the jacket.

This slow, distracted attitude continued as you helped him wash the dishes afterward.

"Credit for your thoughts?" You asked.

"Hm? Oh, sorry. My mind was...elsewhere." He mumbled a lame excuse.

"I can see that," You teased.

He chuckled, but his smile didn't stretch. You frowned in frustration.

"Are you feeling alright?" You asked,

"Yeah, 'm alright."

You didn't believe him, but you wiped down the last plate with a hand-woven towel and stacked it with the others.

Hunter stood with his shoulders hunched, hands gripping the edge of the empty sink.

"Hunter," You reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "You know you can talk to me, right? I'm here for you.

Hunter stared down at your hand, tense like your fingers might grow fangs and chop his head off. Slowly, with fingers still covered in soapy suds, he raised his hand and traced your fingers with his own. It was your turn to pause, watching carefully as if he were a startled prey animal.

"Your hands are soft," He whispered. This wasn't something new. You'd held hands with him before, had him comment about how soft your hands were. But something felt different about the way he looked at you this time.

You nodded stupidly, "Lotion."

Well duh, that was obvious.

"Meiloorun scented?" He asked. He dragged his middle finger over the knuckle of your thumb.

Your lips parted as your breath caught in your throat.

"Y-yeah...how could you tell?"

You could see him chewing on his bottom lip.

"It's the same scent you left on my jacket."

Shame coarsed through your bloodstream, burning hot from the tips of your ears down to the soles of your cheeks.

"I am so sorry, I-I didn't mean to-"

"Don't," His voice was gentle but firm. He lay his hand over yours as he turned to face you.

"Sweetheart," Hunter said, voice low and soft, "You can wear my clothes any time you want. They smell so good after you wear them."

An entirely different kind of heat raced through you.

"Hunter," You gasped.

He lowered his chin, just enough so that his lips brushed against your fingertips. Then he gently lifted your hand from his shoulder, moving it out of the way so that he could pull you in for a kiss. It was very brief. He didn't really want to kiss you, that was just an excuse to get you close enough to bury his face in your shoulder, breathing deeply.

"Should I get you some meiloorun lotion too?" you laughed softly, resting your hands in his hair.

"It's not the lotion," Hunter mumbled with his hands around your waist, "It's you."

"Well, good news for you. You're stuck with me."

"Good." Hunter kissed up the side of your neck, and the tickle of his stubble made you squeal, kicking up your feet as Hunter lifted you and spun you around.

"The dishes better be done!" Crosshair called from his room.

Hunter muttered some choice words under his breath, but you shook your head and kissed him again. Hunter forgot about his brothers, sitting you on the counter to let his hands roam free, up and down your back and over your legs.

He sighed contentedly, his nose brushing against your jaw as you both caught your breath.

"You think you could wear a couple of my shirts? Like, to sleep in?" he whispered.

You laughed, head spinning from all the kisses, "You really like how I smell that much?"

"Sweetheart," Hunter kissed your throat once more, "I love every part of you."

#lizart writes #tbb hunter x reader #sergeant hunter x reader #Sergeant Hunter x you #tbb hunter x you #tbb x reader #the bad batch x reader #domestic hunter

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totallybelova · 2 months ago

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First Time || Headcanons !

a/n: This includes Wanda, Natasha, Yelena and Kate only, sorry, if you have any hc suggestions send them into my inbox and I’ll see what I can do, only Wanda, Nat, Yelena or Kate are accepted!

NSFW CONTENT! MINORS DNI ! MEN DNI. THIS IS WLW!

Yelena Belova

Yelena would totally be very gentle, like extremely gentle and terrified of somehow hurting you,

I feel like she’d opt for external pleasure, not inserting anything. So, no straps, no fingering etc. She’s focused on stimulating the outside as much as possible, mainly with her hand so she can keep her eyes on you,

She’d be constantly looking at you, at your face, one because she likes seeing you enjoying yourself and two just to make sure you’re comfortable, she’d be studying your facial micro expressions. + At the start she asked you so so so many times if you’re sure, because she doesn’t want to scare you off or pressure you or anything

As in for Aftercare she’d bring you anything you need. Water? She’s sprinting to get you some from the kitchen. A blanket? Done. No blanket? Also done.

For more NSFW headcanons she is a switch, who mainly bottoms, but she’s usually the one guiding you, unless you want to, she’s definitely open to suggestions.

Natasha Romanoff

Natasha would be gentle and slow, though she’d seek reassurance more in words, she would constantly check on you, ask how whatever she’s doing feels,

She would go more for fingering, and your foreplay would be longgg, just her trying things out, seeing how you like to be touched and making mental notes of it,

For Aftercare she’d praise a lot, purring all sorts of compliments into your ear, her hands still glued to your body, gently massaging your belly,

Natasha is a switch, who prefers to dominate, she doesn’t have to be a top always, though she prefers it, she’s still a bit hesitant on receiving during sex, cause she doesn’t often feel up to it at all. So she mainly is a dom!top, but can definitely be a sub!top too. I just see her being a top mainly.

Wanda Maximoff

Wanda would be a bit more fierce, very excited to pleasure you, obviously all within boundaries,

She’d prefer to eat you out, cherishing each whimper and noise like a reward, also boob worship, so much boob worship, she just loves boobs ok? let a girl love a good tit. She’d touch them a lot, her hands still glued naturally returning back to playing with your nipples or just resting there.

For Aftercare Wanda would definitely need a moment to rest, just on your own, next to each other, the hear radiating off of your bodies that are not touching but it certainly feels like they are. After she took a moment to rest she’d ask you if you liked it and if she was good,

Wanda is a sub, but a top, she can definitely change it around here and there, but she’s a whore for some praise. praise kink? definitely.

Kate Bishop

Kate would be very confident in herself, very cocky, but at the same time it would be a very fun goofy moment between you two.

She would go for fingering too, probably on a table, kitchen counter or something, alternatively thigh riding. That is her jam.

For Aftercare I think she’d love some resting together, her playing with your hair as you calmed down, her dom demeanour totally gone and she’s a big old silly softie again.

Kate is a switch, who tends to lean into a dom!top kinda vibe, she has days where she just needs you to eat her out, but she still doms just as a bottom.

#yelena belova x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #kate bishop x reader #yelena belova #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #kate bishop #smut #wlw smut #headcanon #smut headcanons #my fic #my headcanons

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serasmores · 3 months ago

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the first time you noticed his eyesight getting weaker was when he was reading a book.

he sat on the far end of the couch, leaning on a soft, round cushion behind him, a leg crossed over the other. his head rested on his knuckles while the other hand held the book by its spine.

even from the kitchen, you could hear him emit a low gruff under his breath. quiet, subtle, frustrated. you would've missed it from the way your mind constantly drifts from one space to another, swallowed by a void that leaves you with no thoughts to entertain yourself with — because home today had apparently learned how to be silent. eerily so.

and that's exactly why. in silence, you can hear everything. maybe the world decided it was best if you take a break from noise; since only then could you stop in your tracks and notice small, almost hidden details of your world. your home.

in silence, you began to wander. your ears drowned in on the ticking hands of the clock, relentless and irritatingly inconsiderate. yet it was lulling. then your focus drifted to how the fridge seemed to click then rattle, and somehow there was a persistent humming ringing into your ears that won't go away even when the pan clacked against the stove and you flipped the pancake with a wooden spoon. it reminded you of the old timed when the old television in your childhood home showed distorted rainbow and made loud static and incoherent buzzes when a lightning hits the antennae and your father had to climb up the roof to find the right angle to make it work again despite the chances that the lightning would hit him next.

luckily, that never happened. thankfully.

you heard him shuffling on the couch, how the pages fluttered when he turned to the next one. even when he ran his fingers through his scalp as a strand of his hair fell just enough to caress the skin below his eyes. just enough to irritate him. he did the motion once again, then another, until his mouth scrunched up to one side, and he pursed his lips and exhaled deeply.

you glanced at him, quite secretively, from the corner of your eyes, but your gaze must have lingered for a second more than what was comfortable; because he noticed and composed himself — shifting in his position so he could sit straight, shoulders tense, and the soles of his feet suddenly grounded to the floor — then he went back to read the book as indifferently as his facial expressions could muster.

you don't realize the pancake was burning already. it sizzled, the smell of cinder wafting through the kitchen and tickled your nose. there was ash creeping on its edges, the crusts thick and stiff, staining the pan with its residue. you turned off the heat and placed the pancake at the bottom of the plate along with the others which, in comparison, looked far less gloomy and more delightful in taste.

you walked up to him and plopped on the couch beside him, the plate served on the center table along with two cups of coffee served hot. he dropped the book on his lap and snaked an arm around your waist to pull you in closer. he puffed his cheeks and pressed a kiss on your lips. deliberate and brief but he dawdled. wanted more of you, longer, almost as if he tasted something sweeter in them, although you were pretty sure your mouth was dry and they reeked of something foul because of sleep. like expired milk bread, since that was the last thing you ate yesterday.

your head leaned on his shoulder, legs spread out on the couch as you shifted your entire weight on him. he didn't seem to mind, even adjusted his position so your back was against his chest instead. he snuck his head in the space under your ear, both arms now wrapped around you — one held the book so you could read it too while the other one gently tapping the side of your stomach with two fingers respectively. he was tapping in the same beats that your hearts did, or maybe he was singing in his head the song he sang to you before, that enthralled you into a lifetime relationship with him.

you love to hear his voice. whatever he sang, whatever he said. that much was true — but there was more to it than the naked eye could see or rather, your ears could hear. the tip of an iceberg. your love for him stems from more than just his voice or that he allured you into this. he's an enigma. someone who could make you withstand the flames of hell, and at the same time give you a taste of heaven. it's been years since he kissed your hands and (with an emphasis —because he often, if not always, found a way to kiss or adore every inch of your skin) vowed to god — “until death do us apart” — yet sometimes when you look at him, you wonder if this was all simply a part of a grander scheme.

he's the kind of dream you'd go into a coma for, if it meant seeing him even if they were simply fragments that your mind made up to console you. he could tell you that the earth is flat and you'd believe him without question. he could point a gun in your neck and you'd suck off his fingers before intertwining your own with his and pull the trigger yourself.

you held the book by its spine — or it was more of an excuse to hold his hand. he grabbed a cup on the table and took a long sip, before taking a spoonful of the pancakes.

“these words are too small,” you complained, “i can't read them.”

you could see them perfectly fine. just that you wanted to see if he would read them out loud. maybe you could kiss him out of the blue or even better, do exactly as the characters in the book did. although you would have to suggest him to read a different kind of book then.

“really?” he pondered, grabbing another spoon but this time it was for you. “i thought it was just me.”

you munched. the pancakes were soft, and they easily melted on your tongue. its sweet, buttery fragrance together with the bitter and strong aroma of the coffee — cozy, serene, and just… irreplaceable. hitting your nose in the most comfortable way possible. and this — nothing could ever replace quiet mornings with him. your days with him, life with him. home. with him.

he's home.

and he's home. where his shoulders could be slumped and your eyes could be drooped and your mouths be crooked at ease. not a frown or an overly-enthusiastic smile. just in peace, at ease. never forced.

“just you?” you asked. stirring your cup with a spoon before taking a sip.

“i don't know. they seem… clouded, i think,” he said, “like when you cry as a child because you can't solve 5+7, and accidentally wrote the answer below the equal sign instead of the blank next to it.”

“what did the teacher say?”

“my father? he was disappointed. so i cried louder.”

“oh…,” you chuckled, then pointed to a random excerpt, “can you try to read this part?”

he squinted his eyes, nose scrunched up, and he tilted his head. there were tears pooling in his eyes, not caused by sadness or melancholy. he wasn't about to cry, they were simply dry. he drawled on the longer words no matter how simple, which he could've pronounced better if he recognized the shapes or the outlines of the letters at least.

he read: “…‘well, i agree — that you definitely hated betrayals the most, traitors the second, and liars the third. i can't quite say the same thing for me though, now and then.’

she stood in place, back against him, unmoving. but the words she uttered next left him devastated, and… even more confused?

‘because i chose to fall in love with you even if you were all three.’

— then it hit him. that was the key to the pandora's box, that was himself before he lost his memories.”

(a/n: yes, i am promoting my wip here hahaha)

“that's… hauntingly beautiful,” you commented, “where did you get this?”

“a co-worker gave it me. said it was boring and too tragic for liking.”

you nodded, lifting your head to stare up at him. your forehead nudging his chin. “anyway,” you gave his neck a peck, “my highschool friends and i planned a reunion by the end of the month. i'll need to buy them some gifts sooo let's head out later — then we can get your eyes checked while on it. sounds good?”

“mhm,” his body slumped against you, one hand pulling you in impossibly closer. not quite gentle but his grip didn't hurt either. there was something more in the way he touched, something tucked away in his eyes — that want, that need, that urge to keep you for himself and himself only. but then he thought, would that make you happy at all?

so for now, he huffed. his breath warm against your neck, enough to send a shiver down your spine. and heat to your core. you squirmed. for now, he can only hold you in his arms, close his eyes, and drown himself into your scent.

“yeah, let's do that.”

you were already his, and he doesn't know it yet (probably) but you would gladly lock yourself and him in this house if that meant reassuring him you were only, has always been, and will always choose to be his.

—

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lowultima · 3 months ago

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𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙶𝚞𝚝𝚜…

𝚅𝙸 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆…

𝙿𝚃. 𝟸

————————————————

The silence on the bus in the early morning was what should have been a welcomed respite from the reverberating bass of the bar the previous night. Despite the peaceful nature- Vi was exhausted. Agitated. She didn’t sleep. Not a minute.

She left the bar the moment that bathroom door slammed behind her. She was in her motel room before two AM. She could have had an easy 6 hour sleep. But she didn’t. Not a god damn minute.

Usually, no matter the time of day- you and Vi would have already been at each others throats despite being sat at the literal opposite ends of the bus. Being in the same vicinity of each other would be enough to set one of you off. But there was only silence.

Every time she leaned her head against the back of her seat, eyes lulling closed for even a hint of rest, all the could imagine was-

“Fuck!”

“Vi! Vi Vi ViViViVi-“

“Mn! Oh GOD-“

Her eyes snapped open, heart beating fast as her palm ran down her face in despair- letting out a short groan as she reached for her lukewarm McDonald’s coffee cup.

She wished she had downed at least four more shots. Wished she was blackout. The hangover would have been better than the knowledge that she willingly fucked you.

Even now, she could hear you- your version of ‘quietly’ talking to Gert about what defense the team might play against the Noxian Foxs’ well known offense..

There was NO way that you were less freaked about this than Vi was. No fucking way.

In contrast- you had regrettably gotten some of the best sleep of your life. The moment your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light. Instead of focusing on last night. On..Vi…you decided to focus on the game. These next games couldn’t be lost. They just couldn’t. The championship could mean your updated position to front and center, more scholarships- hell, you were thinking about going pro.

You didnt have the time to let Violet get in the way of your future. You worked too hard- and you weren’t going to let some bottom of the barrel, piss poor- hardly marginal bitch from getting in your way. You hated violet.

You hated her fucking guts.

When you stood up to use the bathroom, arms keeping you steady on the moving bus as you walked down the aisle-you had forgotten she was even there until her red hair struck familiarity from the bathroom mirror the previous night..

and you paused, realizing your eyes had met.

Your facial expressions suddenly showed panic- awkwardness, and even a little bit of nausea as you remembered just how those dusty blue eyes looked at you. She looked up at you with nearly the same exact expression..

You then felt your body jerk foward- knees hitting the carpeted floor and against Vi as the bus hit a pothole you thought was the size of a fucking continent. Violets hand shot out from muscle memory, grasping side of your head to prevent you from hitting the metal arm rest. She pushed you back as quickly as she caught you.

“Get the fuck off me-“ she grunted, watching as you fell back against the floor.

“Ladies! What the hell is going on back there?!” Your coach yelled at the commotion.

“She can’t keep her fucking balance, is what is going on.” Violet practically spat at you, and you looked at her- face red in embarrassment and anger as you pushed yourself off the dirty bus floor.

You felt your teammates eyes on you, and you snapped back. “Shut the fuck up-“

“Stop being so loud, it’s 9 in the morning.” Violet rolled her eyes- grunting as you pushed her head passing her row to use the bathroom.

You breathed heavily in anger as you slammed the tiny bathroom door closed- sitting on the toilet, head in your hands as you tried to calm down. It was a fucking accident- it wasn’t like you were falling into her gross tattooed arms on purpose.

Violet was the worst. She just was. You hated being around her- near her. You hated the cologne she wore to meetings and formal meals. You hated how she dyed her hair black after every 7 day fling with women that she hardly knew the name of- you hated her habit of shadow boxing your teammates in the locker room before a serious game. You hated the messy ass way she ate:

YOU. HATED. HER.

And you were reaching the limit with the bullshit she put you through…

Making it to the stadium, you stretched your body slowly- knowing the remaining four hours would be crucial to your process. Vi sat on the opposite side of the locker room- the schools gold and red colors finding annoyance in her eyes as she ate a protein bar.

She didn’t get your annoying little routines, flattening your hair on the top and smoothing it out with gel and a hairband (if you needed it)- cracking your back over the benches after wiping them down, sighing deeply as you touched your toes with your palms. She stretched too- of course, but like, an hour before the game like a normal person.

You got up, and began to walk, wander- explore. Noxus was a VERY rich University, its name (and founder) was based in South Africa- a very rich part of the continent, both in currency and culture..If you had lived in this part of the country, you’d have applied to go here- maybe you should have.

Noxus’ amenities for the students (and guests) was vast. Even for the opponents locker room- it was multi storied, an entire building. Dedicated to the opponents. You couldn’t imagine what the actual team had.

There was food being served upstairs, an exercise quarters- and apperently an ‘aquatic massage table’ that you felt far to poor to properly enjoy.

As you wandered, vi glared up as you slowly traced the painted wall leading down a hall. Past a curtain, you entered a room that smelled of wood. You looked around- no people around. A wooden square structures embedded in the wall with a digital pad next to a door with a small glass window..it took you a second- but it was then something that you suddenly recognized.

“No fucking way.” You huffed.

A fucking. Sauna.

…

“This place is far too ric-“

“The fuck are you doing back here?”

You jumped, looking back to see violet leaning on her shoulder against the wall- eyebrow cocked as she looked at you disapprovingly.

. “Jannas’ tits- can you not be a creep for one second??” You grunted, looking back to the sauna and pressing the digital pad beside the door, fidgeting with the advanced technology.

“The hell is that thing?” Vi chose not to respond to your petty insult, and you groaned. “God you’re stupid, it’s a sauna.”

“A what-a?”

“A sauna. They use them in like, Switzerland and stuff. People sit in there and sweat out impurities and all that spa jazz. Supposed to be good for you.” You muttered as you pressed a green button, looking through the small window as you watched the box start to steam up.

Vi snorted, walking up beside you and looking the thing up and down.

“You’re telling me that people willingly go into a little wooden box and sweat- purposefully??”

You sigh dramatically

“Yes- you fucking Neanderthal.”

Violet scoffed, folding her arms as she glanced between you and the wooden box.

You pause, then smirk as if you had the idea of the century. “I think I’m gonna use it.”

Vi looked at you.

“What?? No- don’t use it: this is our opponents shit, if you use it that just proves how much better they are.” Vi said as you took off your t-shirt, shorts, socks, and shoes, tossing them into a little basket oh-so-lovingly provided a few feet away.

Vi looked away from you in disgust as you pulled up your sports briefs that felt more like swimwear than underwear. Anything to prevent chafing.

“Hey, I’m taking advantage of the resources being handed to us.” You said, looking over. “Fuckin shit-they got a mini fridge with bottled waters too-“ you nearly laughed, grabbing a couple and walking back and up a step to the door.

“You’re weird..” vi said, turning around.

You roll your eyes.

“Well, when I’m refreshed and play better than you- we’ll see who’s the real weirdo.” You stated- shooting her the bird as you opened the door and stepped into the wooden contraption; feeling the heat on your body as you made yourself comfortable.

You smiled and closed your eyes, sighing deeply as you relaxed into the silence, enjoying the quiet hum of steam being released into the air….

And then your five minutes of peace was ruined.

Vi stepped in- in her basketball shorts and sports bra, like you- a water bottle in hand.

You opened your eyes and glanced to Vi’s confused look around the little box as she awkwardly sat on the long wooden bench a few feet away from you.

“…so..what do we do?”

“We sit, be quiet, and relax.” You said, closing your eyes again-trying to be nonchalant and keep your heart rate below 100 around this human embodiment of a stressor on one’s health.

“…”

“So how long are we supposed to sit here-“

“Oh my fucking god-“ you said, sitting up.

“You’re always telling me to be quiet- and the ONE time I am you can’t be satisfied- fucking typical.” You laugh sarcastically.

“Hey, I hardly grew up having clean water to take a bath in as a kid- I’m not exactly used to doing rich people shit.” She said.

“Violet-you are not the only one who grew up poor on this team. I assure you. If you’re not going to let me enjoy this- get the fuck out before I kick your ass out-“

“Did you not learn a singular thing while I had my fingers knuckle-deep in your cunt last night?”

Vi suddenly said- before she even realized the words came out.

The room suddenly felt a lot more hot than it should be. The silence, the air, the tension- it thickened with every passing second.

“I-you-it-“ you suddenly stuttered, being confronted about last night by Viol-Vi- no-wait-

You looked at her, and she could hardly make eye contact with you.

“…Shut the fuck up.” You finally found the words, looking away and leaning back. You closed your eyes-wiping your face as you felt sweat drip down your body.

Vi tugged at her bra strap- feeling the fabric sticking to her skin. God, she hated this. She wanted to get out- but now it felt like a challenge. Now that she had said something about last night, she couldn’t fold and leave like a pussy.

She looked at you, watching you spread your legs out in your shorts and tip back against the wooden wall. Her throat suddenly felt dry as she watched a bead of sweat trail down your bare stomach.

she took a swig of water- continuing to fidget with her clothes

You could hear rustling of clothes. The snap of an elastic band and Vi’s little grunts.

“Ugh- what now-“ you started dramatically, opening your eyes to see her holding her sports bra in her hand- tits fully out. Your eyes found her nipples.

Pierced.

They were fucking pierced.

Vi shrugged. “It felt weird to wear it.” She said.

You choked.

“Put that back on! You- you can’t be fucking naked in here!” You said in a hushed tone.

“I’m not naked. They’re tits.” Vi deadpanned.

You couldn’t even feel embarrassed-too worried about some staff member finding vi topless and getting their team kicked out, you glanced at the tiny glass window, then back to her.

“Violet Put it back on- now.”

“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I hardly respect you as a person- much less an authority figure.” She scoffed. “Besides- you probably like lookin at em anyway.” She said.

“VI.” You stated. Clear as day.

She paused- looking into your eyes as she realized that you said her name right for the first time- well- outside of sex…before she smirked. “You’re a fucking bitch, y’ know that?”

“Thats it.”

You lunged, hand grabbing her face and forcing it up to look at you. “You think you’re tough fucking shit huh?” You said, voice low and dangerous. Vi struggled to pull her face away- but you pulled her right back in to look into your eyes.

“You complain and complain all the fucking time- negative as hell, bitching and moaning like a god damn child. Couldn’t your mother teach you anything about being a person people actually wanted to be around??”

Vi gripped the front of your bra and pulled you in.

“My mother’s fucking dead.” She hissed.

“You ain’t special. Join the club.” You seethed, before beginning to pull back.

You felt the fabric of your sports bra rip as vi roughly yanked you forward again in an attempt to get your attention. You yelped-slipping on the tile floor and falling against her, arms at either side of her to find purchase against the second wooden bench behind them.

You were quick to try to sit up and move away- but Vi held you by your waist. Tight.

You could feel your breasts pressed against each others- the sexual tension clouding the air thicker than the heavy steam that had your hair sticking to your face.

“That bra was expensive- you fucking dick.”

Vi’s glanced down to her thigh between your legs.

Sticky…

Heavy pants filled the steam filled room as the both of you fucked against each other. Steam and wet providing the perfect lubrication to glide against each others thighs.

“Horny bitch”

“Fuckin’ slut-“

The two of you whispered insults to each other as you toyed with her piercings, fingers tugging at her nipples. Every time Vi’s breath hitched- you felt like you won the game, only for vi to bite into your shoulder in retaliation.

Laid out against the wooden bench, the both of you tried to stay quiet.

“Someone’s gonna’ fucking hear you- loudmouth.” Vi whispered harshly as her clit twitched against your smooth thigh.

“O-oh please, someone could hear your whimpers a mile away.”

“I don’t whimper.” Vi stated, huffing loudly.

“Shit- Spread your legs wider” you said, and vi raised an eyebrow. “ what are you-“

You placed your leg around Vi’s hip, and pulled her in- not even thinking-

The both of you gasped, letting out a shiver as your pussies’ pressed together.

“Oh my god..” a choked whimper left her throat, nearly drooling as she looked down between the two of them- a thick string of slick connecting your clits as she pulled away, and ground hard against your soft- slick pussy.

You noticed how fucked out Vi looked, stuttering breaths, hands shaking as they held her body up. She looked like bliss..

“This..your first time doing this?” You asked softly, in a slight daze of sexual frustration.

Vi nodded quickly, eyes screwed shut as she rubbed against you. “Girls like t-the strap more..I..don’t get to feel like..like this...” she muttered- finding it hard to keep concentration when all she wants to do is pound you into the wood.

You look up at her, and you roll your hips.

“Then fucking enjoy it Vi.”

The two of you lost it, the steam and pressure building up as your clits caught against each others- thrust after thrust.

Outside of the sauna- the room was dead silent except for the hum of the machine. Inside was a far different story.

“Fuck!..fuck!” Vi called out your name as your pelvis rutted against hers- wet, slick sexes messily matched paces over and over.

Your hands held onto vi’s hips, guiding her as vi’a fingernails dug into your thighs. “Faster faster, faster-take it slut; fucking take it-“ Vi couldnt tell if she was begging or demanding, she didn’t care- all the wanted to do was cum.

You swore she was louder than you were- but you couldn’t care less as you grew closer to your orgasm. “You love this huh? Love fucking your teammate cuz you couldn’t find any other bitches to sleep with huh?” You panted out- and vi opened her eyes, looking down into yours.

“Yeah. I fucking do- cuz I’m the only one that makes you cum like this. The way you were calling my name last night- bet that was the best sex you’ve ever had.” She spat at you as she moved faster.

You moaned loudly, reaching one of your hands up and grabbing Vi’s neck.

“You fingered me all on your own- you dyke bitch, don’t tell me how much I enjoyed the sex- mn!”

Vi slammed against you over and over, you felt the coil tighten In your stomach as you stared deep into her eyes.

“You’re a lesbian too, last i checked- hah!…can’t say shit.”

“Says the one that’s gonna be cumming on my pussy” you smirked

“Not if you cum first.”

The two of you groaned loudly as the both of you went faster, hearts pounding- hips aching.

“Its-I’m-“

“Me too-“

Vi’s eyes rolled back as she squirted on your cunt- her wet, hot cum covering your abdomen. You gasped, holding her close and kissing her deeply as you reached your peak right with her.

She collapsed on top of you, holding you close as the two of you rocked against each other to ride out your orgasms. You swore you blacked out for a moment.

As the two of you calmed, vi slowly raised herself and looked down at you. The two of you started at each other, eyes half lidded and fucked out. You glanced at her lips again, Vi’s hand smoothed over your cheek…

“Wait. What time does the game start?”

“…SHIT.”

—————————————————————————

The two of you crushed a water bottle and scrambled to put your clothes on- rushing back to the locker room to check the time. “Fuck- we got an hour, everyone’s probably already on the field.”

“Fuck!” You yelled, trying to towel off your sweat and cum and get in your gear and cleats.

“Run out first- it’s weird if we came out together.” Vi stated. “Right, yeah-“ you said, rushing out towards the field.

“Where in the world have you been?? We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Your coach yelled as you ran to where your team was gathered. “I got lost- this place is a maze. I’m sorry coach, it won’t happen again.” You said quickly, brushing your messy hair back.

“Where is Vi??”

“I don’t know, she was being annoying so I left, it’s how I got lost in the first plac-“

“I’m here!! Sorry coach- got my period.” Vi yelled across the field. Your coach pinched the bridge of her nose. “Both of you, get your shit together or your benched. I am sick and tired of your fighting and it will NOT be happening again, understood?”

“Yes coach.”

“Gotcha coach, sorry..”

The two of you glanced at each other- vi tugging up her collar to hide her hickeys as the two of you separated to discuss with your sections.

The game was about to start soon- but all you could think about was Vi’s face and how she looked at you then…

You hated her guts…

Didn’t you?

—————————————————————————

Hello! I was asked by my first commenter ever to make a second part to the ‘hate your guts’ page. I think I might post a third for an end- and then start on a more long term series for my potential smut with long plot enjoyers to enjoy. Comment if you’d prefer shorter smut series or longer porn with plot series. Let me know!

#vi smut #wlw #arcane smut #arcane #arcane vi smut #lesbian #wlw nsft #arcane violet #sevika smut #vi #sevika #violet arcane #vi x you #vi arcane #vi x reader

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uwu-bxtch · 1 year ago

Text

||BOTH AIN’T SHIT|| t.f.

summary :: “Fuck it, guess we both ain’t shit.” OR you decide to unblock toji (again) after getting bored of your boyfriend (again).

content :: toji fushiguro x reader, smut, 18+, cheating, female anatomy, nicknames (pretty girl, doll, pretty, baby), profanity (duh), reader is lowkey a runner, inspired by b.a.s. by megan thee stallion (my queen)

a/n :: guys this is my first ever smut SO BE NICE (pls im sensitive) !! also take this as a peace offering for taking so long to post chapter one of bad habits 😭 i’m so sorry pookies

you stared at the text on your phone with a bored expression.

ten minutes ago

that fucker left you on delivered for ten minutes. you know he’s most likely busy, but you can’t find it in you to care. you were never the one to wait, especially for a man. rolling your eyes, you leave the messaging app and go to your contacts. you go to the block folder and and go straight for one name.

toji

unblocking him, you immediately call his number.

ring…ring…ri-

“and to what do i owe the pleasure?”

your eyebrow twitches, you could practically feel his smirk.

“you already know what i want.”

“awe this one isn’t treating you right? when you gonna stop dealing with those boys you seem to attract.”

“whenever you stop dealing with those girls that like to flock around you,” you bite back, attitude already manifesting.

“fair, my place or yours?”

you huff before responding, “packing my bag right now.”

he lets out a grunt before you hang up. a grin spreads across your face as excitement rushes through your body. it’s been months since the two of you saw each other and you’ll never admit it, but you kind of miss him. to be fair, you do block him whenever you’re in a new relationship, but they never last that long.

————

the man never locks his door so you don’t bother knocking. you walk in and take your shoes off before making a beeline to his room. you heard his shower running so you put your bag down and make yourself comfortable on toji’s bed.

you look around the room from your spot, everything looks the same. except a bright pink and lacy thong near his closet door. you roll your eyes at the thought of someone else being under him, though you can’t be too upset since you’re doing the same thing.

“look at you sitting pretty and waiting for me.”

your thoughts were interrupted by the man in a towel. he looked so fucking hot fresh out the shower. hair slightly sticking to his face, water droplets gently caressing his muscles, you squeeze your thighs together as you stare. ignoring your arousal, you look away and nod your head towards the thong.

“your girlfriend’s or something?” you asked, wrinkling your nose. toji lets out a low chuckle, glancing at the thong before he slowly approaches you on the bed.

“not quite.”

“you don’t gotta lie, it’s not like i really give a fuck.” you say as you begin to take off your shorts.

toji stops you and replaces your hand with his so he can take them off himself. he traps you in place with his knees so you’re looking up at him.

“attitude already? someone missed me.”

toji smirks up at you, throwing your bottoms across the room and working on your panties. another wave of arousal hits you as you watch his facial expression.

“no i-“

“you don’t have to lie, i know you.” he smirks as you scoff at him.

your panties are off and toji groans at the sight of your pulsing pussy, already dripping with arousal. he uses his middle and ring finger to gather your slick and tease your hole. you whine impatiently as you try to grind onto his fingers but his other hand holds your hips down.

“shush, you know how this goes.” he scolds, causing you to whine more.

he prods your entrance with his middle finger for a moment before plunging both of them inside you.

“oh fuck-“

you moan as you lay your head back onto a pillow. your walls tighten around his fingers as you try to move your hips, but toji’s grip stays strong.

“she really hasn’t been fucked right if you’re going crazy over my fingers.”

toji continues to pump his fingers into you, using his thumb to firmly rub your clit. you let out quiet moans as your body slightly tenses up at every jolt of pleasure.

“c’mon pretty, relax a bit,” he says to you as he works your pussy open, curling his fingers up to search your sweet spot. one more rough push and he ended up hitting it, causing your body to jerk a bit.

“yes, right there!” you moan out, attempting to squeeze your legs together but toji forced them open.

“we’re having none of that, you got it?”

you weakly nod as he continues to abuse your cunt with his fingers, repeatedly jabbing your sweet spot and roughly rubbing your clit.

“ah, fuck i’m gonna-“

you cut yourself off with a high pitched whine as the knot in your stomach snaps. toji continues to fuck you through your high.

“that’s it, there you go.”

once you’ve calmed down, he took his fingers out of you and leaves you to clench around nothing. he leans in close to your face to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss. his tongue immediately invades your mouth, and you start sucking on it without a second thought. the only sounds that could be heard in the room were your quiet moans and your lips smacking.

as you guys continue to kiss, no one wanting to detatch for air, you feel something poke your bare thigh. breaking from the kiss, you look down to see toji’s bulge poking through his towel. despite just having an orgasm, the sight of how painfully hard he was made your pussy throb. you look up at him with pleading eyes.

“you wanna help me out baby?” he asked, already removing the towel from his waist.

you nod as you both adjust your positions. toji sits at the edge of the bed while you sit on your knees between his thighs. you look up at him with hooded eyes as he gives himself a couple of pumps. he gently slaps his cock on your lips and lets out a groan.

“fuck. suck it good baby.”

you grip his dick firmly, giving it a kitten lick before kissing it. it was thick and heavy in your hand, the tip an angry shade of red while dripping with precum.

you open your mouth and put as much as you could inside, using your hand to stroke the rest. you hollow out your cheeks as you bob your hand up and down, tongue swirling his tip. toji ran his finger through the roots of your hair before gripping a handful. he gave your hair a slight tug, causing you to moan around his dick.

“shit. ju-just like that.”

your hand slipped down to your pussy to play with your clit as you tried to take in more of him. the room was filled with your muffled moans and his pants and occasional praises. you were close to making yourself cum and, by the way toji’s cock twitched, you could tell he was close too.

“fuck. stop.”

you ignored him and kept going until he tightened his grip on your hair and pulled you off.

“i said off.”

he uses his other hand to squeeze your cheeks and makes you look up at him, leaning dangerously close to your face.

“what i do?” you ask, slight desperation in your voice.

“you think you can cut me off for months and expect me to not cum in your pussy?”

“i jus’ wan—“

“on the bed doll.”

you got up off your knees with some help and crawled back onto the bed. shortly after laying on your back, toji slots himself between your legs. he grabs one of your legs and dangle it over his shoulder. with the other hand, he grips his cock and rubs it up and down between your slit, covering it in your juices.

he rubs circles into the thigh on his shoulder as he stares into your eyes.

“you ready baby?”

“please.”

toji lined himself up before plunging into your tight hole. you let out a broken moan as you felt him fill you up. he didn’t give you a chance to adjust before he started mercilessly pounding into your pussy.

“fuck- squezin’ me so tight,” he grunted out, pushing your leg to your chest to fuck into you deeper. the stretch made you roll your eyes back

with every thrust, you let out a fucked out moan.

“fuckin’ me s’ good. needed your dick so bad.” you whine, eyes rolling back with every jolt of pleasure.

“yeah? that little—ngh—boyfriend of yours wasn’t cutting it?”

he huffs as he is eyes travel from your fucked out face to your tits bouncing with every thrust. you blindly reach for his free hand and, without thinking, led it up to your neck. he smirks as he tightens his grip around your neck just enough to make you feel light headed.

“fuck— yesyesyes…”

as you feel yourself getting closer, the pleasure started to get a little overwhelming. you reach down to attempt to push him away but toji kept going, keeping you in place while leaning down to kiss along your jaw.

“haven’t been fucked properly in so long you running away now?”

he doesn’t expect you to answer, recognizing how fucked out you are. he was also close to reaching his high, but he’d be damned if he came first.

“no—no one will fuck you like i do, yeah?” he growls into your ear, moving his hips to fuck you in a different angle. his rhythm faltered a bit as your pussy gripped his dick tighter.

“yes, o—only you can fuck me like this!” you gasp out, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly closer.

“i know you’re close doll, go ahead and cream on my dick.”

with the permission you didn’t know you needed, you finally let the tension in your body snap, squeezing your eyes shut and tightening your arms around his neck. a wave of pleasure flowed through your body as your pussy had a death grip on toji’s dick.

“oooh shit, yes!”

you cumming set his orgasm off as he gave you one more deep thrust before cumming inside of you, removing his hand from your neck and lifting you off the bed with the arm to hold you closer.

“that’s a good girl.” toji groans, holding you in place as you milk him dry. you both stay like that while you come down from your highs.

toji gently lowers you back on the bed and slowly pulls out of you, causing you to whimper at the empty feeling. you move your arms from his neck and grab his cheeks to pull him into a kiss. he reciprocates and the kiss is slow and gentle, but still a little desperate. you moan into the kiss as he sucks on your tongue.

after a few moments, when you two are fully relaxed, the kiss breaks. toji slowly gets off the bed and walks into the bathroom. it only takes a minute before he’s back with a wet washcloth. he begins to wipe the sweat off your body before cleaning your sensitive area. he’s not the most gentle, but it was still sweet.

————

the silence was comforting before toji’s phone started ringing.

“hello?…yeah sorry, i can’t chill today…family shit, you know how it is…”

he’s sitting next to you, one arm around your shoulder as he talks to who you’re assuming is his girl. you look over at him, biting back a laugh so as to not get him into trouble. then you hear your phone start to buzz. you grab it from the bedside table and look at the texts.

sorry it’s been a while, i got caught up in some work.

it’s okay, it wasn’t really important. we can hang later this week

after sending that text you look over to toji, who’s smirking at you.

“you ain’t shit,” you assume he was reading the messages after he hung up the phone.

“neither are you,” you say back, returning the smirk.

toji shrugged before leaning back into the headboard.

“fair…you want takeout?”

“always.”

both of y’all really ain’t shit.

MASTERLIST

#dee.fics #first smut #pls im so proud of myself #but also terrified #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x black!reader #jjk x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader

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