mychlapci

[dravidious]

HAHA FUCK YES! YES!!

FOR REFERENCE, THIS IS MADE FROM THIS STILL IMAGE

[ba-responds]

Catharsis (Villain!Deku x Fem!Reader) Chapter Eight

A/n: Sorry this is coming out later than expected. I stayed over a guy friend’s house for like 3 days this week, then it was a friend’s birthday, so I’ve been busy. This is the last pre-written chapter, and I’ve already started on the next! Enjoy. P.S. I kinda feel bad for Bakugo in this chapter...damn.

This story will contain dark themes! Please read the warning!

Summary: An unexpected death of a loved one can lead to a sudden influx of emotions. Those same emotions can become repressed, as denial and disbelief comes into play. In this time, one would seek a means of catharsis, a release from those strong, repressed emotions. But what would you do if that means of catharsis, the same release you sought so hard for, becomes addicting? To the extent, that you feel you can not live without it? What if it can’t live without you? **WARNING: This story MAY contain; bullying, suicide, depression, torture, manipulation, mentions of sexual assault, and MORE! You have been warned.

Masterlist

Prologue II Chpt 1 II Chpt 2 II Chpt 3 II Chpt 4 II Chpt 5 II Chpt 6 II Chpt 7 II Chpt 8 II Check Masterlist for more!

Chapter Eight: Missing Persons and Panic Attacks

“----Swear to fucking…..’ll beat your dumb ass...ce of shit…”

You groaned as you slowly opened your eyes, not exactly ready to wake up. The cursing you woke up to continued, along with the music of what sounded like an old video game. Eyes adjusting to the dark room you were in, the first thing you spotted was jean-clad legs and a dark t-shirt, less than an inch away from your face. Smiling instantly, you snuggled deeper into the lap your head was rested on, breathing in the owner’s sweet scent. You heard a light chuckle, before a hand stroked down the back of your head, their thumb caressing the side of your face. You basked in the attention, peeking up at Izuku with a loving smile. He stared back down at you, his face mirroring the love you knew was on your face. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“How was your nap, love?” He muttered, using his forefinger to tilt your head up so he could see your full face.

“Perfect,” you whispered back sweetly, moving your body so you were laying on your back, head still resting in his lap. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a gravelly, angered voice.

“Stop with all that shit, and play the fucking game,” Shigaraki hissed, glaring at you and Izuku, then snapping his head back to the small television screen in the corner of the room. You sat up as Izuku took his attention off of you and back to the game like Shigaraki wanted. Stretching you arms above your head, you groaned lightly, body feeling stiff from the slightly awkward position you took a nap in. The three of you were sitting on the bare wooden floors as the two boys wanted to be closer to the T.V. they were playing the game on. As the boys continued playing the co-op game, you silently took in the room once your eyes fully adjusted to the darkness, smiling lightly to yourself.

The square room was pretty cluttered, the gray concrete walls holding shelves of books and games, along with some odd, clearly stolen knick knacks; the floor had heaps of old snack wrappers in weird places, clothes filling in the gaps in-between; the queen size bed was pushed into the far left corner, the foot of the bed holding piles of written journals. There was a T.V. and a T.V. stand in the far right corner, the storage space under it holding a couple gaming consoles; a dresser and vanity next to it, more random clutter on top of each.

Despite the mess, you loved it. It was your new shared room with your love. 

Your new home.

It was completely different from what your old home used to be; instead of the attempt at making the place feel homey and clean like your parents did, Izuku seemed to just want a place in which he can be himself.

Your parents.

It was hard to think of them. There was a ball of guilt constantly sitting in the bottom of your stomach because of them.

They’ve lost a daughter, just like you lost Izuku; However, this time, there was no body to bury.

Block it out.

You had claimed one specific corner of the room, the front left corner, filling it with your small amount of belongings; which consisted of a few books, your empty backpack from school (all of the schoolbooks and work haven been thrown out due to needlessness), a jacket courtesy of Izuku, and a spare bean bag chair. The room was bathed in the light of the neon colors on the T.V. screen, casting everything into a weird tone of blue and white. 

Blue and white.

Better than red.

An image popped into your head. A Designer t-shirt and ripped jeans. Brightly colored,  sneakers. Coily black hair, and dark brown skin. Brown eyes.

Red.

Block it out.

Rolling your neck to release some of the tension, you fiddle with the new black collar around it. The collar was pretty thick and a bit heavy; it being almost two inches wide, made out of a lightweight metal of some type along with a tubing of some sort. It was a present from Izuku the day you got here, nearly 3 weeks ago. At first it was rather uncomfortable, the metal at times restricting the angle in which you could tilt your head, and it often caused your neck to become sore from the added weight. You had quickly gotten used to it though, after it was put into good use. 

The purpose of the collar was to ‘keep you and Izuku connected’. Instead of having to wrap, what you now called his ‘shadows’, around your neck constantly to ‘connect’ with you, he could instead put some in storage in the tubing on your collar, so that you constantly felt him like on the day he found you, and vice versa. 

However, the feeling wasn’t as close to the day he first wrapped his shadows around your neck. While you could feel a bit of the burning pleasure from the collar, it wasn’t nearly as intense and discombobulating. At times, you craved the disorientating jolts, begging Izuku when the two of you were alone to connect himself to you once again, much to his pleasure. But, as is, you could only feel the slightest bit of feelings, it increasing and decreasing depending on how far the two of you are to each other.

Standing, you went over to your corner, picking up Izuku’s laptop on the way. Plopping down on the bean bag chair, you went to open the laptop, but paused before doing so. You knew it was against the rules Izuku set. 

No phones. No laptops. No internet. No outside contact. No leaving. Not without his explicit permission.

“Izu, can I use your laptop really quick, please?” You called out, gaining the attention of your darling. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, a frown appearing on his face as his brows furrowed suspiciously. Shigaraki muttered angrily, mad that Izuku paused the game to answer you.

“Why?”

“I just wanna check the news. See what they’re saying about my disappearance,” 

“Nobody fucking cares about you, let’s continue the game!” Shigaraki growled out, eyeing you as if he was tempted to murder you. You scowled back at him, sending him a cold glare. 

You despised looking him in the eyes. Those red shits disgusting you to the core.

“Go ahead. No logging into any of your old social media, or anything that could possibly link you to this location,” Izuku said, rolling his eyes at you and Shigaraki’s behavior. You and Shigaraki never gotten along since you got here. He seemed slightly possessive of Izuku, due to Izuku being his only friend; and you hated someone trying to put claim to something that was clearly yours. Now, the two of you were forced to tolerate each other because of Izuku, but that doesn’t mean you don’t annoy the other.

“Crusty bitch,” you muttered under your breath, loud enough that Izuku snorted out a laugh, but Shigaraki couldn’t hear you. Shigaraki’s head snapped to you suspiciously, growling through his teeth, before he turned back to the T.V.. You smirked to yourself smugly as you opened the laptop, it starting up automatically. 

Opening up a web browser, you typed in the local news website. You hummed as you searched through the top stories, surprisingly you found a series of recent stories including your name. Clicking the first article link, it brought you to a story named:

U.A.’s Class 1-A Student Suspected To Be One of the Many Dead in Musutafu Attack.

Under the title, there was your U.A. ID picture, where you were smiling brightly at the camera, with dull (E/c) eyes. You cringed at the photo; you could almost see the weight on your chest, how you seemed to not even want to actually be there. This thought caused you to shift your gaze to Izuku. 

He sat with his back mostly towards you; his eyes locked on the small t.v. screen; fingers flying across the gaming controller in his hands. His curly emerald hair framed his face in ways that made him look like an angel. His green eyes, which seemed to glow in the dark, held a sense of serene you haven’t seen since he was a child. 

You suddenly felt your heart clench while looking at him. His every feature reminded you of one person. 

Mama Midoriya. 

Tears came to your eyes, as you looked back down at the news article, attempting to read it, but your mind was elsewhere.

“I wonder what Mama Midoriya is doing. She must be so...heartbroken.” you thought, body slumping back into the beanbag chair, your throat clenching at the thought. 

You remember vividly what it felt like losing Izuku. The emptiness. The numbness.

The weight on your chest.

You could only imagine the pain that Mama Midoriya would be feeling now. After the loss of two children. 

You still remember the way she trembled for weeks after Izuku’s disappearance. She had gotten grief sick, to the point in which she couldn’t physically leave her bed, she was constantly nauseated and couldn’t keep any food down. You had been her primary care-taker for the following months; barely even going home for more than 20 minutes during that time. You used to sleep on the floor of her bedroom, too...scared to sleep anywhere else.

You knew she was depressed; it was clear with the look in her eyes. The way she would stare blankly into space after all of her tears had dried up. The emptiness. After you would get back from school, you’d immediately go to the Midoriya household, kick off your shoes, and get started on making a late lunch for Mama Midoriya. You had to have gone through at least two cookbooks of recipes, trying to find anything that she would keep down. After giving her lunch, which would inevitably be regurgitated into a bucket that was kept at her bedside, you’d lay with her in her bed; snuggling close to her like you were a child fearing a nightmare. The both of you would just sit there for hours in silence, until the time came for you to start dinner.

Then one night, while you were fixing your makeshift bed of blankets on the floor at the foot of the bed, after tucking her in and asking how she felt, Mama Midoriya’s soft voice muttered with slight hesitance.

“It hurts.”

And that was what terrified you the most. 

Those words. 

The words that seemed to sum up how you felt since Izuku’s disappearance; that summed up how Mama Midoriya felt; and how Izuku felt before ‘taking’ his own life.

Those words seemed to symbolize one thing for you.

The lack of a will to live.

And the thought of losing someone else was worse than the weight on your chest.

So now, you could only imagine how much your disappearance would make her pain worse.

Block it out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bakugo let out a shaky huff, stretching out his aching fingers as he glanced around his room. His nodded his head to the beat of his music, it blaring loudly in his headphones. His body was slick with sweat, his chest heaving as he stretched his arms above his head, trying to cool down a bit more before continuing his workout. He suddenly dropped down onto his stomach, legs out straight, his hands placed on the ground shoulder-length apart. Letting out a deep breathe with each of his push-ups, he tilted his head up, staring straight ahead to where his open notebook was propped up, re-reading his notes from class.

This was the only way he could distract himself. Working out, and throwing himself into his school work. Maybe he would be able to tire himself out enough tonight to finally get some good rest.

His felt his phone vibrate near his hand, but decided to ignore it. If it didn’t interrupt his music, he didn’t care to see what it was. 

“Inertial mass, the measure of an object’s inertia or….” he muttered to himself, red eyes flickering across the page. Finishing his 35th push-up, he paused, holding himself up on his forearms, and toes. He continued reading and muttering his notes to himself, before feeling his phone vibrate once again. Glancing at it in annoyance, he grabbed it with a roll of his eyes, pressing the button to display his lock-screen. 

7 New Messages From: Shitty Hair.

3 Missed Calls From: Shitty Hair

Heaving a sigh, Bakugo sat up, unlocking his phone in the process. Upon opening the messaging app, the two things he noticed right away was the three dots indicating Kirishima was in the midst of typing a message, and a wall capital letters. Bakugo lazily scrolled up the messages, reaching the first unread one.

Shitty Hair: DUDE

1 Missed Call From Shitty Hair

Shitty Hair: BAKUGO, ANSWER THE PHONE

1 Missed Call From Shitty Hair

Shitty Hair: PLEASE

Shitty Hair: DID YOU SEE THE VIDEO?

Shitty Hair: IT’S ALL OVER THE INTERNET

1 Missed Call From Shitty Hair

Shitty Hair: PLEASE ANSWER THE PHONE

Shitty Hair: ARE YOU OKAY?

Brows furrowed in confusion, Bakugo ignored the incoming call from Kirishima once again, instead choosing to click over to one of the few social media apps he had. Eyeing the little red number in the corner of the screen that indicated all of his notifications from the app, he growled in slight confusion as the number continued to rise every few seconds, as if multiple people were tagging him in something. 

Incoming Call From: Shitty Hair.

Ignoring the call once again, Bakugo scrolled down the newsfeed of the app, trying to find the so-called video that was ‘all over the internet’. Almost immediately, a video popped up on the feed, it having nearly a million shares, and only being posted an hour prior. The video had a sensitivity notification over it, preventing him from seeing the thumbnail of the video. The caption read:

I FUCKING KNEW U.A. WAS HIDING SOMETHING. SHARE BEFORE THEY TAKE THIS DOWN!

This immediately caught his interest. Clicking the option to show the video, he waited a second while the video loaded with a slightly disinterested look. 

The video started off with someone’s lock screen as whoever the person was started screen-recording. Whoever it was, clicked on another app which pulled up another video, which they presumed to press play. The video that proceeded to play wasn’t in the greatest quality, with no sound, and an awkward angle. It showed a destroyed, empty alleyway, the only movement being the fluttering of an old newspaper on the ground. Debris littered the floor, the wall of a building seeming to be concave, blocking the exit of the alley. 

Nothing happened for a few more seconds, causing Bakugo to roll his eyes. He eyed the timestamp in the corner of the video, it reading a date only a few weeks prior. The time of it being late morning. Something unsettled him about the video, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.

“This is probably one of those jump scare shits,” he muttered to himself, pressing the screen to exit the video, when suddenly there was more movement on the screen. What he saw almost took his breath away.

(Y/n) (L/n) fell onto screen, covered in cuts and blood. While her face couldn’t be seen from this angle yet, Bakugo immediately recognized her. She was still dressed in what could have been her U.A. uniform, but Bakugo couldn’t quite tell because of all the soot and blood covering her body. Her body trembled as she collapsed on her side, revealing her face and the tears falling down her cheeks. Covered in blood.

Bakugo couldn’t breathe now.

His chest tightened.

He knew why this video was unsettling now. He remembered the date. 

He could barely focus on the video by now; the sight of the girl covered in blood and dirt will forever be engraved in his mind. But he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Not my fault.

Another figure stepped into frame. Green hair.

Deku.

Perfectly alive.

All Bakugo could hear is a high pitched ringing.

Dark Tentacles around her neck. Tightening. Choking.

Her petrified, shocked, pleading eyes.

Despite the video not having any sound, he could almost hear her scream.

Her terrified scream

“IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

Not my fault.

A crazed, insane grin.

He was going to kill her.

Not my fault.

One last attempt to escape.

She didn’t know. She didn’t know about him. She didn’t know like how Bakugo had claimed. She wasn’t a part of this. Not until she ran away from the school.

Not my fault.

Shadows.

A scream.

“YOU FUCKING MURDERER!”

Not my fault.

Nothing.

End of video.

The phone dropped out of his hands, his hands shaking. Wide red eyes stared at the space the phone previously was for a second more, before his body scrambled away from it. His head banged harshly against his desk, but he didn’t even wince. He wheezed as he tried to suck in air. It didn’t work.

Not my fault.

His shaky fingers gripped his chest, his nails digging into his skin as if that would alleviate the sudden pressure. 

He couldn’t focus.

He couldn’t breathe.

His lungs burned for air.

Not my fault. 

Bakugo’s eyes darted around the room. He didn’t realise how late it had gotten, well past his bedtime. Too dark.

 His phone vibrated once again from an incoming call from Kirishima.

Not my fault.

Not my fault.

Not my fault.

There was a heavy weight on his chest.

“It hurts.”

~

[sonipanda]

I don’t think I have ever done a black & white blog post before, so this one will certainly be a first!

Now I have done a corset before (Dear-lover Women’s New Style Leather over Bust Corset) that I wore casually seeing as I fancied trying something new. This time I decided to proper go all out and dress this one up.

I got this beaut off Amazon a while back, so I am psyched to get this reviewed for you all!

The Spec

Colour: Black

Size: XS

Materials: 90% Polyester, 10% Spandex. 

Price: £15.96

Website: Amazon – HLGO Corsets for Women for Corset Bodysuit Corset Top with Sleeves Lace Corset Costumes for Women

My Outfit

I paired my corset with my high waisted skirt and added statement earrings. I did my hair curly so the earrings were enough to complete the outfit.

My Deets

Corset: HLGO

Skirt: H&M 

Earrings: Forever21

  The Review

From The Website: Lace corset,corset’s Hot tips: There may be slight variations in colors due to the lighting effect during shooting or the configuration of the monitor of the bidder. HLGO LACE CORSET,trimmer corset Thanks for your understanding. Size selection: Please read our size chart carefully and measured from the narrowest point around the waist. Please do not use the Amazon size guide, see our own size chart guide located to the left of the image of each product and choose the right size based on your waist size. > Material: 90% Polyester, 10% Spandex. Garment care: Hand wash only. Colors: 9 colors (black, apricot, red, dark red, white, green, light purple, lace red, lace blue) Size: 9 sizes (S-6XL) for the election Net weight: 0.66Ib Customer service: If you have any questions regarding the size, color or quality of the product, please contact us through the Amazon platform and we will respond in the shortest possible time. And deal with it in a positive and fast way until you are satisfied. Thank you for your help and love of our products, we wish you happy shopping!

Skin-friendly Material:High-quality comfortable Skin-friendly fabric, Chest with Soft Sponge. All of this just because of we want to bring you an unforgettable wearing experience. Reasonable Design : You can adjust the tautness to fit your figure. 90% Polyester Corset Sleeveless Excellent for Party, Halloween, Fashion Show, Costume or as Casual Wear to Match with Jeans, Shorts, Dress, Skirt, Both than are a good choice. Before Ordering: Our Size Chart is different from Local, plz choose it by your natural Waistline. Our Size Chart located on the left of the product image. If your actual size is between two size, we suggest you choose the big size. Package : Content: 1 X Corset, 1 X G-string.

  The Packaging: basically these came as you see it below. It was double packaging, which I was pretty amazed with seeing as I don’t feel it needed it as it already came in its own mesh zip bag. Anyways, I didn’t realise that this came with a matching g-string, so woop-de-doo there!

Tip: Leave it out to rest and naturally form itself before you get it on. I took these images a week before I was going to review it purely because it had been flat packed for so long, I wanted it to naturally form itself.

It did work as the lace on the cups did soften up and the body of the corset smoothed itself out.

  The Fit: is to die for. I was hesitant getting an X-Small as I have never tried this brand before, but thought it wouldn’t be too bad if they have proper lacing at the back.

I felt this really did work with my body shape and the fact that you can adjust how you please; I wanted structure so I really tightened it and got that slight hourglass figure, but if I was to layer with a top underneath, I would keep it slightly loose so I am able to breathe.

This does have a fair amount of boning (or piping) in it so once it’s on, it’s hard to bend down or be flexible in it. Trying to get my skirt on was a mission as it kept stopping me from getting it on at first! This also does help it to keep its shape rather than lose it during your wear. Not once did I feel like this became loose or looked baggy in any way.

One thing I did love about this was the shaping at the bottom; it wasn’t a straight cut but a gorgeous dip and bend; it dips slightly at the front, curves around the thighs and sits perfectly around your hips.

  The Front: has got some amazing metal clasps. I did struggle to get them all to close at one point, but managed to do so in the end. I did find it quite stiff and I had to try and bend them a little from time to time, so just bear in mind that it’s not as easy as it looks.

I am truly loving that design as well; very vintage, very feminine and screams class! I could easily layer under or on top; there are so many opportunities to do so now that I have tried it on its own. This design works all the way around the corset, including the hidden back panel (inside the corset).

I will say the only downfall is that from a side angle, I found that you could see my skin through the front. Head on, you can’t see anything but from a side angle, I wasn’t too pleased about that. I mean it’s not much, but it’s not exactly something I want peeking through.

The Back: is pretty awesome I have to say; they have a double lace with thick rope so you can really tug and knot as you wish. It’s double laced as well – one from the top and one from the bottom, which then joins in the middle. I first thought what the hell is going on there?! And then realised it was the best thing ever when you actually come to tighten it up at the back. It gives you more of a fitted hourglass figure rather than lacing top to bottom or vice versa.

It also does have a back panel (around a few inches wide) so if you do need to have it slightly loose, you can and it won’t be showing any skin. I did think that was a brilliant idea as I have had some in the past where they don’t  have this panel and basically you can see everything.

    My Thoughts?

I think this has got to be one of the best corsets I have ever had; it gives me such a nice shape, it would be so easily to layer and create different looks with and it really is a quality piece. I didn’t think this was flimsy in any way or looked cheap or tacky.

HLGO Women’s Corset I don't think I have ever done a black & white blog post before, so this one will certainly be a first!

[seraphineprobuilds]

REGRET, CHANGE, AND THE CHASE FOR CLOUD9

Summer is a period where everything things, and right now what's Cloud9.

The largest storylines entering Summer would be Doublelift's yield to TSM and push against each team to close the substantial gap which Cloud9 created at the Spring. Following is a peek at a couple of things driving these groups and how that intersects with all the new-format Seraphine Probuilds which allows you reverse all of your Spring failures.

SAME OLD DOUBLELIFT

Nowadays, a great deal of people I speak to mention the fantastic mental exhaustion most of us seem to confront. It may make otherwise simple tasks such as folding laundry or going to the supermarket feel like scaling a mountain. That small voice which asks"does anything even matter?" Is, to me, among those unlucky backdrops of summertime. And when Uzi declared his retirement, I felt sorrow for the way his body withered down even though he is just in his 20s. However, I thought of a number of the famous images of himlike the one where he's hunched in front of a TV in tears because he sees the group that just beat him give a winner meeting. I thought of the headlines that followed every collapse. And I thought about this immense mental relief which must have accompanied the physical pain of slipping.

We're quick to discuss the physical aspect of this game and slow or completely prevent it if the psychological aspect comes to perform with. I inquired Doublelift around Uzi and concerning the gap in reception to somebody being physically drained and being emotionally tired, and he states,"You can't really argue with physical exhaustion because there's literally a limit before your body gives out. But if it's mental exhaustion, a lot of people can view it as a copout when you say 'I'm burnt out' or I mentally don't have the gall, drive, or motivation right now. People will just say, 'Suck it up.' It just seems a lot less real because it can be used as a copout for someone who's just not playing well, but I think -- as someone who's obviously experienced it -- very real."

He proceeds,"Someone like Uzi, who I respect a ton, I think he must have experienced both honestly. I don't think it was only purely physical. You can't really be giving it that same level of pure dedication the entire time. There's going to be times where he's mentally exhausted too."

What is going to happen today that Doublelift has returned into TSM is that the largest spotlight will glow. I really don't expect folks to look at him with compassion for shooting his foot off the pedal at the spring -- he's confessed it to be a mistake and apologized for this. It doesn't change what happened, however, so individuals do not need to take the apology. That is fine, also. I really don't anticipate the story to be more forgiving now that he's returned and left to TSM. If anything it is going to be vicious. I really don't anticipate them to be the exact same championship-caliber staff the last time that he had been here, but I do not anticipate that mild to dim once.

I really do believe him when he says that he had been coping with burnout last divide. I really do believe that he did not just suddenly drop off a cliff into a stage where he could no more come back to being the best player in the league, and I believe him if he tells me,"I realized in this transition to TSM, the thing I really want and what makes me really excited is the thought of winning with this roster." I feel that winning fixes all -- if just because people are quick to overlook.

Nonetheless, there's absolutely no delusion like the previous time that he joined TSM he is the victim . With much more championships than hands on a hand, his livelihood can end now and he would be the single most decorated player in the history of this league. I am not requesting compassion for him. He is not either. I am simply considering sorrow and all of the ways it can attest. A group towards a participant's death, or vice versa. An entire profession of missteps or what-if measures. I'm considering how some folks, such as Doublelift, are granted opportunities. A lot of that he got and others he didn't. Some, such as Uzi at this time, aren't. And I think, if they're"fair" or not, Doublelift consistently does something with his or her chances. That is why they keep coming.

TESTIMONIALS

Spring Split's Cloud9 submitted a cumulative 26-2 document, which had been the very best in LCS history. I requested players from each team to provide me their ideas on C9:

"In my mind, there were only three teams that were that far ahead of everyone else. It would be Immortals in 2016 with Huni and Reignover, TSM in 2016 Summer, and then Cloud9 [now]. It's really exciting because there's actually a real challenge -- an attainable goal as an underdog now, and it makes me really motivated to practice." -- Doublelift

"I think Cloud9 during the Spring Split was just on a different level from all the other teams, including us. We just didn't understand the fundamentals as well as they did. They just really understood how they wanted to play the game, and towards the end of the split we struggled with how we wanted to play it." -- Svenskeren

"I think for C9 compared to every other team, they have a proper coaching staff and know how to play as a five man unit. They help each other, whereas other teams have people who don't improve during the split." -- Johnsun

"Everything we do needs to ask --'Is what we're doing great enough to conquer C9?' We have to compare everything we do to if it will matter against C9, because that's the level of competition we need to strive to every day, and if we do that for the entire split, then we have a really good chance to win." -- Solo

"Cloud9 has Top 2 players in every role -- they're all good individually. They're just a team that's willing to sacrifice for each other. They have a really solid team identity where they play around mid/jungle and transition that to bot lane. Licorice is really good at weak side and strong side -- they're just really well-rounded and play well as a team." -- FBI

"I feel like we kind of went blow for blow with them in our last game of the Spring Split, but I'm pretty sure they're a step ahead, even right now. They're all just individually really good and really smart about what they want to do. Their teamwork is really good and they're just hot right now." -- Pobelter

"I think all of C9's players are motivated and have the same end game. When you look at even the Solo Queue rankings, most of them are Top 10 [or at least high]. It's still pretty difficult to hit Rank 1 [especially] and I think Zven has a really good mentality when he plays Solo Queue. He always tries hard and plays to win -- a lot of people, even for me, if something goes bad I sometimes quit in Solo Queue. But I think it's a good mindset to put 100% into winning and think each game matters. You need to have that same mentality for scrims as well." -- Altec

"I definitely felt like C9 was way more dominant than every other team. I don't know if they were more dominant than us when we were winning, but it definitely felt like they were head and shoulders above every other team. Playing against them was a struggle because they played so fast and they were all on the same page -- they had really good coordination when it came to everything." -- Jensen

"From what we've heard from the players, they have a really good system. They have gym everyday, healthy food, and apparently even a book club -- they do all these different wellness things. A good esports system doesn't need to be too complicated -- it just needs to have health, exercise, and a good practice schedule." -- Stunt

"I would prefer if there was someone in the league who could actually [challenge us]. All of these teams are saying they are going to do it or that's what they're looking for, but honestly they're just not good enough. At least not yet. They're pretty much all talk. Hopefully they'll be able to perform better and actually be able to contend against us -- that's what I really want. It'd be good for us to go into Worlds with another team that we can learn from throughout the split." -- Blaber

BE THE CHANGE

"This is actually the first team I've been on in my entire career that has kept the same roster twice in a row, and I've been playing for years," states Stunt. "Just the smallest roster change can throw team synergy out the window -- a good example recently was TL with the introduction of Broxah over Xmithie. I felt like Xmithie kept their playstyle of playing around bottom. They had a clear identity and they were good at what they did, and without Xmithie, they're kind of lost and trying to find themselves again."

He's"For us, the benefit of keeping the same roster is you don't have to start from the basics. With just one new member, that new member has to learn all of your systems from square one, whereas we already have our systems in place for how we like to play the game, and all we have to do is build on it and figure out what the problems are with what we are doing right now. We have a really strong baseline."

I have spent a great deal of time this offseason considering when and how roll changes make sense -- lots of it comes off the heels of, as Stunt said, what occurred to TL. 1 thing I've always thought to be accurate and is endorsed by outcomes is that really great teams -- I am speaking about individuals who triumph Worlds or could/should have won Worlds (hello, ROX lovers ) -- have more or less been dominant from the instant moment they had been shaped. Occasionally they fade and wither away, sure, but they do not begin by fighting.

What we have from the LCS at this time is 1 group in Cloud9 who had been assembled this past year and instantly destroyed the competition from the gate. A good deal of people suggested the LCS was complete weaker from the Spring, however, the league as a whole was not that bad -- that they were all obviously worse than Cloud9. So just how are you supposed to close the gap with no daring change (such as a roster movement ) if C9 is constantly advancing too? Regrettably, there is no actual guarantee a roster change will get the job done. I really don't have stats on this but I guess the likelihood of getting worse are also fairly large, particularly if you were a good team to start with (2nd place FLY who didn't change, as an instance, has far more space below them than previously ).

Not altering a roster allows you build foundational blocks for exactly what a fantastic procedure and routine is -- both for daily rituals such as sleeping and eating (which players have a tendency to fail ) and also for in-game matters such as how much you desire to reevaluate ancient scuttle control or the way you wish to reevaluate counterpick when drafting. There simply is not a definitive answer to whether you should or should not alter a roster. Finally if a roster change was bad or good will come down to the consequences -- that is how we have always guessed them, if that is reasonable or not.

Liquid, by way of instance, was memed fairly difficult for falling if they earned Broxah (then Tactical, then again if Doublelift returned), making you believe that they made the incorrect move. But that is just in a vacuum in which their aim was to win the LCS again. In the larger context of needing to acquire Worlds, possibly they had struck their ceiling Xmithie -- at the point you must create a change regardless of how it ends up. Only by risking becoming worse will you get much better. The needle has changed considerably for Liquid, however, after only 1 split. Doublelift is gone for good, and that's their lengthy perch atop the LCS.

Jensen states,"Being the team that always wins or is expected to win doesn't feel as good. It's hard to stay on top because within NA, it's hard to learn a lot from the practice because even if you lose, you think,'Oh, we are better than those. This was just an off day.' I think a lot of my teammates felt that last split. We were too comfortable with our position. This time around, I can't imagine we'll make the same mistake because we realize we're just like any other team right now. We shouldn't feel ahead of them. We'll start playing more like the underdog and playing with the mindset that we have to learn from any team because we just had a 9th place finish."

All it requires is 1 split to completely alter your strategy. Pobelter, by way of instance, did not have a group at the start of past split and lovers (who formerly clamored for his benching) discovered it to be totally outrageous that he did not have work. He then came in to get a dead-last CLG group and has been showered with possibly more compliments than at any point in his profession. He explained,"I have not felt better than those few scanty little wins we got last split. Those were some great hits of dopamine." That is crazy for me to place those unnecessary wins on precisely the exact same amount as the championships he had won previously, but I do not doubt it for a moment.

Everybody wants to win even when their motives for needing it are likely to disagree, and in sport which means somebody else will lose. It's this simultaneous moment in which you secure your fantasy by denying somebody else, just as climbing to the starting lineup for a single player usually means another player needs to step down. This split will comprise nine teams jumping as large as they can to reach Cloud9, and when I will be honest with you, I really don't think any of them are going to make it.

However, Summer has ever been the split at which you are able to correct all of your Spring wrongs, also this season that's even more conspicuous. Nothing you did at the Spring things in the meaning that the things do not bring about Worlds placements in any way. And yet, still, that which you did things. Or everything you did not do. Nobody could tell Doublelift the Spring Split which saw him depart for TSM did not matter, even though he sang a different song at the beginning of it. Nobody could tell Cloud9 the dominance they embodied and heard does not matter because of their Summer planning. Even though, by creating the Summer yours and yours, you may earn all that irrespective of. There's only this, right today.

[camilleprobuilds]

REGRET, CHANGE, AND THE CHASE FOR CLOUD9

Summer is a period where everything things, and right now what's Cloud9.

The largest storylines entering Summer would be Doublelift's yield to TSM and push against each team to close the substantial gap which Cloud9 created at the Spring. Following is a peek at a couple of things driving these groups and how that intersects with all the new-format Summer Split which allows you reverse all of your Spring failures.

SAME OLD DOUBLELIFT

Nowadays, a great deal of people I speak to mention the fantastic mental exhaustion most of us seem to confront. It may make otherwise simple tasks such as folding laundry or going to the supermarket feel like scaling a mountain. That small voice which asks"does anything even matter?" Is, to me, among those unlucky backdrops of summertime. And when Uzi declared his retirement, I felt sorrow for the way his body withered down even though he is just in his 20s. However, I thought of a number of the famous images of himlike the one where he's hunched in front of a TV in tears because he sees the group that just beat him provide a winner meeting. I thought of the headlines that followed every collapse. And I thought about this immense mental relief which must have accompanied the physical pain of slipping.

We're quick to discuss the physical aspect of the game and slow or completely prevent it when the psychological aspect comes to perform with. I inquired Doublelift around Uzi and concerning the gap in reception to somebody being physically drained and being emotionally tired, and he states,"You can't really argue with physical exhaustion because there's literally a limit before your body gives out. But if it's mental exhaustion, a lot of people can view it as a copout when you say 'I'm burnt out' or I mentally don't have the gall, drive, or motivation right now. People will just say, 'Suck it up.' It just seems a lot less real because it can be used as a copout for someone who's just not playing well, but I think -- as someone who's obviously experienced it -- very real."

He proceeds,"Someone like Uzi, who I respect a ton, I think he must have experienced both honestly. I don't think it was only purely physical. You can't really be giving it that same level of pure dedication the entire time. There's going to be times where he's mentally exhausted too."

What is going to happen today that Doublelift has returned into TSM is that the largest spotlight will glow. I really don't expect folks to look at him with compassion for shooting his foot off the pedal at the spring -- he's confessed it to be a mistake and apologized for this. It doesn't change what happened, however, so individuals do not need to take the apology. That is fine, also. I really don't anticipate the story to be more forgiving now that he's returned and left to TSM. If anything it is going to be vicious. I really don't anticipate them to be the exact same championship-caliber staff the last time that he had been here, but I do not anticipate that mild to dim once.

I really do believe him when he says that he had been coping with burnout last divide. I really do believe that he did not just suddenly drop off a cliff into a stage where he could no more come back to being the best player in the league, and I believe him if he tells me,"I realized in this transition to TSM, the thing I really want and what makes me really excited is the thought of winning with this roster." I feel that winning fixes everything -- if just because people are quick to overlook.

Nonetheless, there's absolutely no delusion like the previous time that he joined TSM he is the victim . With much more championships than hands on a hand, his livelihood might end today and he would be one most decorated player in the history of this league. I am not requesting compassion for him. He is not either. I am simply considering sorrow and all of the ways it can attest. A group towards a participant's death, or vice versa. An entire profession of missteps or what-if measures. I'm considering how some folks, such as Doublelift, are granted opportunities. A lot of that he got and others he didn't. Some, such as Uzi at this time, aren't. And I think, if they're"fair" or not, Doublelift consistently does something with his or her chances. That is why they keep coming.

TESTIMONIALS

Spring Split's Cloud9 submitted a cumulative 26-2 document, which had been the very best in LCS history. I requested players from every group to provide me their ideas on C9:

"In my mind, there were only three teams that were that far ahead of everyone else. It would be Immortals in 2016 with Huni and Reignover, TSM in 2016 Summer, and then Cloud9 [now]. It's really exciting because there's actually a real challenge -- an attainable goal as an underdog now, and it makes me really motivated to practice." -- Doublelift

"I think Cloud9 during the Spring Split was just on a different level from all the other teams, including us. We just didn't understand the fundamentals as well as they did. They just really understood how they wanted to play the game, and towards the end of the split we struggled with how we wanted to play it." -- Svenskeren

"I think for C9 compared to every other team, they have a proper coaching staff and know how to play as a five man unit. They help each other, whereas other teams have people who don't improve during the split." -- Johnsun

"Everything we do needs to ask --'Is what we're doing great enough to conquer C9?' We have to compare everything we do to if it will matter against C9, because that's the level of competition we need to strive to every day, and if we do that for the entire split, then we have a really good chance to win." -- Solo

"Cloud9 has Top 2 players in every role -- they're all good individually. They're just a team that's willing to sacrifice for each other. They have a really solid team identity where they play around mid/jungle and transition that to bot lane. Licorice is really good at weak side and strong side -- they're just really well-rounded and play well as a team." -- FBI

"I feel like we kind of went blow for blow with them in our last game of the Spring Split, but I'm pretty sure they're a step ahead, even right now. They're all just individually really good and really smart about what they want to do. Their teamwork is really good and they're just hot right now." -- Pobelter

"I think all of C9's players are motivated and have the same end game. When you look at even the Solo Queue rankings, most of them are Top 10 [or at least high]. It's still pretty difficult to hit Rank 1 [especially] and I think Zven has a really good mentality when he plays Solo Queue. He always tries hard and plays to win -- a lot of people, even for me, if something goes bad I sometimes quit in Solo Queue. But I think it's a good mindset to put 100% into winning and think each game matters. You need to have that same mentality for scrims as well." -- Altec

"I definitely felt like C9 was way more dominant than every other team. I don't know if they were more dominant than us when we were winning, but it definitely felt like they were head and shoulders above every other team. Playing against them was a struggle because they played so fast and they were all on the same page -- they had really good coordination when it came to everything." -- Jensen

"From what we've heard from the players, they have a really good system. They have gym everyday, healthy food, and apparently even a book club -- they do all these different wellness things. A good esports system doesn't need to be too complicated -- it just needs to have health, exercise, and a good practice schedule." -- Stunt

"I would prefer if there was someone in the league who could actually [challenge us]. All of these teams are saying they are going to do it or that's what they're looking for, but honestly they're just not good enough. At least not yet. They're pretty much all talk. Hopefully they'll be able to perform better and actually be able to contend against us -- that's what I really want. It'd be good for us to go into Worlds with another team that we can learn from throughout the split." -- Blaber

BE THE CHANGE

"This is actually the first team I've been on in my entire career that has kept the same roster twice in a row, and I've been playing for years," states Stunt. "Just the smallest roster change can throw team synergy out the window -- a good example recently was TL with the introduction of Samira Probuilds over Xmithie. I felt like Xmithie kept their playstyle of playing around bottom. They had a clear identity and they were good at what they did, and without Xmithie, they're kind of lost and trying to find themselves again."

He's"For us, the benefit of keeping the same roster is you don't have to start from the basics. With just one new member, that new member has to learn all of your systems from square one, whereas we already have our systems in place for how we like to play the game, and all we have to do is build on it and figure out what the problems are with what we are doing right now. We have a really strong baseline."

I have spent a great deal of time this offseason considering when and how roster changes make sense -- a great deal of it comes off the heels of, as Stunt said, what occurred to TL. 1 thing I've always thought to be accurate and is endorsed by outcomes is that really great teams -- I am speaking about individuals who triumph Worlds or could/should have won Worlds (hello, ROX lovers ) -- have more or less been dominant from the instant moment they had been shaped. Occasionally they fade and wither away, sure, but they do not begin by fighting.

What we have from the LCS at this time is 1 group in Cloud9 who had been assembled this past year and instantly destroyed the competition from the gate. A good deal of people suggested the LCS was complete weaker from the Spring, however, the league as a whole was not that bad -- that they were all obviously worse than Cloud9. So just how are you supposed to close the gap with no daring change (such as a roster movement ) if C9 is constantly advancing too? Regrettably, there is no actual guarantee a roster change will get the job done. I really don't have stats on this but I guess the likelihood of getting worse are also fairly large, particularly if you were a good team to start with (2nd place FLY who didn't change, as an instance, has far more space below them than previously ).

Not altering a roster allows you build foundational blocks for exactly what a fantastic procedure and routine is -- both for daily rituals such as sleeping and eating (which players have a tendency to fail ) and also for in-game matters such as how much you desire to reevaluate ancient scuttle control or the way you wish to reevaluate counterpick when drafting. There simply is not a definitive answer to whether you should or should not alter a roster. Finally if a roster change was bad or good will come down to the consequences -- that is how we have always guessed them, whether that is reasonable or not.

Liquid, by way of instance, was memed fairly difficult for falling if they earned Broxah (then Tactical, then again if Doublelift returned), making you believe that they made the incorrect move. But that is just in a vacuum in which their aim was to win the LCS again. In the larger context of needing to acquire Worlds, possibly they had struck their ceiling Xmithie -- at the point you must create a change regardless of how it ends up. Only by risking becoming worse will you get much better. The needle has changed considerably for Liquid, however, after only 1 split. Doublelift is gone for good, and that's their lengthy perch atop the LCS.

Jensen states,"Being the team that always wins or is expected to win doesn't feel as good. It's hard to stay on top because within NA, it's hard to learn a lot from the practice because even if you lose, you think,'Oh, we are better than those. This was just an off day.' I think a lot of my teammates felt that last split. We were too comfortable with our position. This time around, I can't imagine we'll make the same mistake because we realize we're just like any other team right now. We shouldn't feel ahead of them. We'll start playing more like the underdog and playing with the mindset that we have to learn from any team because we just had a 9th place finish."

All it requires is 1 split to completely alter your strategy. Pobelter, as an instance, didn't have a team at the start of last fans and split (who formerly clamored for his benching) discovered it to be totally outrageous that he did not have work. He then came in to get a dead-last CLG group and has been showered with possibly more compliments than at any point in his profession. He explained,"I have not felt better than those few scanty little wins we got last split. Those were some great hits of dopamine." That is crazy for me to place those unnecessary wins on precisely the exact same amount as the championships he had won previously, but I do not doubt it for a moment.

Everybody wants to win even when their motives for needing it are likely to disagree, and in sports which means somebody else will lose. It's this simultaneous moment in which you secure your fantasy by denying somebody else, just as climbing to the starting lineup for a single player usually means another player needs to step down. This split will comprise nine teams jumping as large as they can to reach Cloud9, and when I will be honest with you, I do not believe any of them are going to make it.

However, Summer has ever been the split at which you are able to correct all of your Spring wrongs, also this season that's even more conspicuous. Nothing you did at the Spring things in the meaning that the things do not bring about Worlds placements in any way. And yet, still, that which you did things. Or everything you did not do. Nobody could tell Doublelift the Spring Split which saw him depart for TSM did not matter, even though he sang a different song at the beginning of it. Nobody could tell Cloud9 the dominance they embodied and heard does not matter because of their Summer planning. Even though, by creating the Summer yours and yours, you may earn all that regardless of. There's only this, right today.