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badlydrawndrawnings · 5 years ago

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ATWQ Book Three Thoughts

I finally got time this week to finished reading the third ATWQ book, and I got to say, I am honestly very, very scared how this series is going to end. I am feeling a sense of dread I don’t think I got when reading ASOUE as a child. Something about this series is making me go (O.O) with a dash of 8U I had no expectations on what the hell would this third book even hold. This is honestly all over the place like seriously...

This book just got me shook.

Okay, so first all...BERTRAND WAS THEODORA��S LAST APPRENTICE? Holy **** this was one of the many things that shook me to the core. “He’d end up married to a wonderful woman and have very charming children, while I languished alone and lonely.” Lemony Snicket you have no idea what you just foretold for your future.

Prosper Lost really decided to tell Lemony about his family (daughter Ornette + brothers in law?) and shows he isn’t just a nosy, sneaky and lurking in the background type of guy. He has great concerns that aren’t related to his business it goes to the whole freaking town! I get the feeling something bad happened in his past and with a fire like shoot why else is he working the Official Fire Department. I guess it has something to do with his wife (I assume since he has a daughter).

In regards to Ornette, I don’t have a true clear thought or opinion of her yet. Cleo while showing up late got talked a lot for about 2/3 of the books and an illustration that gives me some idea of her character. Ornette got mention a few times, and then shows up at Wade Academy and she’s very gung-ho; willing to work with the others and Lemony who she just met. I like she’s open minded working with a stranger like Ornette is gonna fit in well. However, I guess I have to say her first impression was weaker than Cleo’s build up so I’m just *thinking* over her still. I hope we get to see more of her in the last book though.

Theodora really just hit me with a tone of bricks. I admit this book really made me like her more because damn it, I think I did what Theodora did once or twice in my life and it sucks. So first off: Theodora all this time knew she was rank last? God, that must mean in the previous books those fancy talks of her reputation partly must have been done to make herself feel better and have confidence and skills that isn’t really there. Since she’s rank last it means there’s a chance she’s not well respected -and maybe not well like (I assume rank is a combinations of reviews from past apprentices and peer reviews). That means Theodora puts on an act for Lemony (and Bertrand who was a lot easier for Theodora to chaperone; Bertrand what review did you gave Theodora?) and everyone else to make herself seem better and more competent. Because if others of different standings take her serious, then VFD will start taking her more serious, and ergo, others (work) associates will be all ‘yeah we can be friends 8D!’. Clearly it’s not working as plan.

Theodora latching on to Sharon and their short lived friendship (the nail polish...Theodora may not have gotten friendship bracelets but she went all out anyway, this just sad to think about). Here we have Theodora thinking she not only has a friend in who know how long -and a friend from she thought was part of VFD- but has a chance to prove herself for once from all her past mistakes and screw up. And Sharon reveal herself as a fraud and Theodora is all like ‘well ****’ and despite not liking Lemony, she still made sure Lemony sure as hell wasn’t going to be taken by Hangfire and the Inhumane Society (such is a duty of a chaperone).

But despite her low rank, Theodora just more than that. She not just a wild hair driver, and yeah, this was clearly shown since the first book if she saved Lemony from getting kidnapped. Theodora knew the whole time Lemony was going to plan something with Kit (IDK if she knew of the coup, but she knew something big was going to happen. Did she took him to SBTS so their plan would fail?). She also knows enough the plan got so off the rails Kit is in jail and Theodora was willing to help Lemony break her out. I’m not saying she’s a favorite character, but she’s in a general tier of ‘I like very much!’

The Haines family (two out three at least): I feel for Sharon, wanting her daughter Lizzie back at any cost. I can understand why she felt like she had no choice to work with Hangfire. If Hangfire got Sally Murphy to work for him (she was trying to help save Lizzie this whole time oh my god), then it’s not much of a stretch Hangfire could get the Haines as well if they’re desperate. But she dragged Kellar into it and was considering striking Kellar across the face. She was willing to go that far to get her son to continue working with Hangfire to get Lizzie back. I hope with Lizzie getting found, the family can be together again and work their issues out.

Won’t say too much on Kellar himself, in part because apparently, ‘dynamite hair’ translated into the famous Tintin quiff. Don’t get me wrong, I like Kellar. His situation sucks to the tenth level and he stood up for what he know is right, even if it means he and his mom have to temporary part ways (again, I hope the Haines family can be together again and work their issues out). I totally think he and Moxie will become very good friends (he needs friends in general). Typist buddies are a go-go! But whenever I think of him and his illustration I can’t get Tintin out of my head. Thanks, Seth.

I got a better feel of Cleo from this book, and yeah, she is totally Team Chemistry Dad, and Jake is totally Team Food Mom. They’re the team parents for all these kids and they’re doing a very good job. Cleo honestly rocks the mask with her color scheme. As to the rest of Lemony’s SBTS associates + Qwerty, nothing much change on thoughts and opinions (Lemony is still upset over Moxie’s arm 8U). I hope Qwerty in the last book gets free. I thought something bad was gonna happen to him like Dewey. I feel a bit happy Qwerty is just arrested and not dead from a harpoon gun.

Ellington, meanwhile, is getting more desperate to find her father (she has a picture of him in her music box my goodness that hurts! However, thanks to a re-watch of Netflix ASOUE, and thinking about [RETRACTED] and looking at something I wrote in a different ATWQ post, I have a very bad feeling, and I hope I’m wrong about it.) if she was more or less ‘working’ with Hangfire. Those film noir vibes are getting to real warning levels that are in the red zone and close to 100% Got to admit thought, her and Lemony’s ‘first and last date’ really ended on a damp note 8U.

I’m too scared on guessing WTF is the creature/noise Lemony and Ellington heard. And do I want to know about the honeydew melons (I like cantaloupe more TBH)?

My opinion of the Mitchum parents are the same but my goodness! Someone let them know how terrible their son is and let them know they’re failure as parents! Stew upgraded from bully to ‘part time villain’, knows it, and just got worse. I gotta bring up Carmelita again because Stew is making me think over Carmelita’s character more than I ever thought before.

I interpret Carmelita as a spoil rich brat and bully who got away with her rotten behavior due to her parents not being parents, just giving her too many gifts and not teaching her important manners. She a bit of an ill-fusion of Veruca Salt and Dudley Dursley in my opinion. Anyway, Carmelita has no idea what she got herself into in the TSS, but by TGG-TPP she is ‘okay! 8D’ because Esme while teaching her to be a ‘villain’ and other dangerous things, it’s mitigated by Esme still spoiling Carmelita rotten and keeping Carmelita’s old lifestyle she’s used too. It also help in the TAA and TSS she just used words as weapons, so this ‘jump’ was just a real shocker and showing how Carmelita while knowing of VFD, is still blind to their hidden nature if she didn’t dwell to much over it.

Stew on the other hand, is a bully who has been using force since the first book, but it’s on the low-down side. Now, Stew is willingly working with Hangfire, and he just decided to go all out and take it up a notch. And Stew unlike Carmelita, isn’t blind to what is going on. I think. It’s also possible Stew doesn’t know the major end goal of Hangfire and Stew is happy he gets to continue bullying people through any means, and his target just has to be Lemony. I honestly don’t know what’s up with him and his actions.

Speaking of Lemony...someone help this poor child mentally and physically. This is all too much for a thirteen year old (or anyone). He has to worry about Kit and save a dying town, and IDK if Theodora is even going to help in the final book if she wanted to high tail it out of there. He’s feeling more lonely than ever and Imaginary!Kit shows up again. Lemony Snicket you just jinx yourself about being lonely shouldn’t stop at age thirteen ;_; you have no idea what is in store, especially when it comes to your siblings. Lemony is closer to Kit than to Jacques, but the ‘flashback’ to playing Beethoven was sweet because the two were able to spend time together and this was like, the first time Lemony actually thought of Jacques in who know how long. Now I’m thinking about Netflix!Lemony wishing he spend more time with Jacques.

So uh...Olaf got a name drop (is guess who referring to the game? band? IDK who Q is but, this is gonna be weird with my headcanon of Mr. Quagmire), I covered Bertrand’s name drop...and Josephine cameos.

If I have to put her on a tier list, Josephine would be the middle between ‘like’ and ‘neutral’. She isn’t my favorite character and guardian, but I like her enough to not put her in neutral (and I have thoughts on her that I won’t 100% share here). With many fears (rational, irrational, surprisingly rational but on first glance irrational), due to VFD messing with her to where she has no choice to become a hermit and hide away from the danger of the world and become very safety conscious. Her years of being frighten grew to where she is cowardly and cares for herself more at times (she does ‘scream’ coward near the end of the TWW, especially in the books and Movie).

Once Quite Adventurous (Movie Only), and Fierce and Formidable (Netflix Only), if it’s not a headcanon, it’s almost canon Ike’s death was the turning point for Josephine deciding to hide away from the world. With Ike’s death, Josephine must have thought she has no choice to retreat to her hazard of a home and live alone for who know how long to keep herself safe. In both adaptations, they show hints (and Netflix only; also shown it via flashback) of Josephine’s old life through photographs. Also in both adaptations, it seems Josephine really went from ‘dangerous lifestyle’ to ‘gonna hide in my room please go away’ very fast after Ike’s demise.

So, I’m happy and a bit upset Josephine cameos in this ATWQ book. Josephine is not 100% Quite Adventurous, or 100% Fierce and Formidable. I mean, she is those thing, but Josephine is also rather...Cautious. The fact Lemony even calls her ‘careful girl’ and Josephine is taking a risk to visit SBTS seems both adaptations was exaggerating her personality before Ike’s death/possible retirement from VFD. While certainly less afraid of the world, and much braver than TWW, there’s a implication Josephine is on her tip-toes, as well as making sure where she steps (or flies to in her helicopter). I have to say showing a teen Josephine being cautious is a good way to show how her extremism phobias and hermit habits have their roots since her younger years.

And that’s why I’m happy and a bit upset. I’m happy Josephine’s character is explore and it’s fueling to my pile of headcanons that are half bake for her. But I’m upset because...the adaptations. I’ll give Movie!Josephine a minor break though. Since it came out before ATWQ, I doubt Daniel Handler had even thought of this series and character cameos planned out. Movie!Josephine was a shot in the dark and one of the few things that somehow came out unscratched. I think the film played up her fears and cowardliness, but her photo album doesn’t mess up anything regarding ATWQ’s cameo.

Netflix however, has ATWQ. And from my past re-watch, I can now see there’s some references to ATWQ that went over my head (I am seriously hopping I didn’t got accidentally spoilers *stares at [RETRACTED]*). Anyway, Netflix!Josephine’s portrayed and the changes are fitting to her character. Her last act of courage after realizing Olaf killed Ike is rather nice. Yeah, I know it seems Josephine snapped due to his grammar mistake, but on the re-watch Josephine was all \OMO/ when Olaf slips up on the tamales, so I think Josephine confront Olaf for Ike’s murder and his bad grammar. I don’t want to say they ignore Josephine being described as a careful girl in her youth to making her freaking Sporty(TM), but if I do think of rewatching the show again sometime soon after finishing ATWQ (I started reading the first chapter before lunch and I think I’ll have more time the rest of the week to read), ATWQ’s cameo will be haunting the back of my mind.

Josephine totally needed to called out Lemony for ditching Kit, just like Hector. Though I guess Josephine has more reason to since Kit is really close to getting lock up, all because of two ‘new’ characters: Gifford and Ghede, who also tried to kidnapped Lemony back in the first book. Damn, for ‘noble’ VFD members, they sure suck at their job if Kit is still arrested and they tried to kidnapped Lemony...for some reason.

Are they are on the fire starting side?

#atwq #all the wrong questions #shouldn't you be in school #s theodora markson #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #lemony snicket #josephine anwhistle #yeah i talk about her #spoilers #I guess #this is a text post

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meandmyechoes · 4 years ago

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A collection of diaries.

[Jun 12th, 2020 9:09:49pm]

idk, really feeling like getting away from the Earth for awhile.

The Artemis Fowl movie is coming out. actually, has come out by now. and I’m having a good time rereading the books but I’m still too early in the series to decide whether I should scrap the rest and jump straight to the movie. I probably shouldn’t - in the sense that I should brush up the first book (since I just finished 2 this afternoon and sped past half of 3 just now), watch the movie, then have the rest of the series to fall back on. I remember the excellent plots in 456 and would love for a bit more time to savour them. 7 and 8 is important for Artemis’s character so eventually I should arrive there as part of a thorough re-read, just not sure how all that’s gonna fit into my simultaneous tumblr schedule.

It was never a question that I’m gonna make gifset(s) for the AF movie. Not sure if anyone out there would be focused on afedits but it wouldn’t be surprising if one or two random passer-by post a gifset or two to commemorate the event. Again with edits, time is of the essence, especially when I intend to promote the movie via trailer sets. But I do fear I end up having more prompts than expected like with TCW which now span 8 pages. I mean, even 10 AF gifsets would’ve been quite the workload. and when I do have that much inspiration, I would’ve to delegate to littleafthings, or afparty for a wider audience for stuff like single character/scene sets as not to clog up the main Clone Wars programming. and I do slightly want to get in touch with the old AF fandom (who happens to cross paths again in TCW! what a chance!) to see like how much people are still around. :/

ah with Clone Wars.

well, I have THREE stock gifsets ready in the drafts so it’s not like I’m pressured to publish anything. But I do want to keep making new gifsets (esp. for Echo and Fives) so I can publish these stock ones! especially meta fuel like my padawan! I don’t really have a solid take on it, because it’s not like a big naming thing. and I’ll be reviewing name dynamic anyway along with translation series. which led me to want to finish the movie for name dynamic first. i only have 2.5 now and i planned on 5? for the movie. there probably won’t be that much notes in regard to the movie but idk, i NEED to finish that business.

another thing i’ll be interested in working on is the biology metas, since the old lekku post flared up again. right now there’s actually 3 going on. i’ll be polishing stress/stripes first, because the main argument checks out, i just need some more backup knowledge of hormone system and adolescence growth of humans and see i could streamline and merge human and togurtan system. I also need some visual aids to help popularize it i guess, :/ but i wasn’t intending it to be a full-blown rebelsoka model analysis/comparison because that was more or less a given, i don’t even have an artist’s eye for it :/ and i kinda only did the first lekku post because the visual aid was already available for me to steal :/ I mean, I could do it :/ but it’s also more work :/

before the lekku post re-flare, I was gearing up to make the Kiros ecology post because I became interested in categorizing montral arch shapes (for women at least) that was just a beginning idea and i meant to take my time to do that. but with the flare it feels like i should publish something quick in response first so i guess i’ll dust off that draft again.

I discussed sth about Force inheritance with little bro last night, it wasn’t an exactly enlightening conversation but we did think alike so often so much, he just understands the way I think, and we raised some more interesting questions. mostly regarding if a person’s midichlorian count stays constant through out their life - does it go down with severed limbs? or go up with embryos? which led to when exactly do midicholrians enter a person’s ‘life’? Thus, what happen to midichlorians after its host’s death? Would most rejoin the Cosmic Force? and the Force ghost appearance mechanism? what happen to their midicholrians? Since MC are defined as a ‘conduit’ of the Force, is it the necessary medium for a consciousness ‘one with the Force’ to manifest in the physical plane? If so, are those their midichlorians or midichlorians from the surroundings (because the Force is ‘an energy field created by all living things’?

you can see I have some predisposition about my own questions but a lot of them remain unanswered.

What category of symbiosis does “midicholorian-life” falls into?

Midichlorians live inside the body so endosymbiosis.

Both species benefits so mutualism.

But is it obligatory (both dies) or facultative (one survives)?

This definition is essential to answer the interchange of midichlorians in the Cosmic Force and the physical plane (i.e. its human host and the Living Force). From there, one could tackle on the equillibrium - balance of the Force in an energy/numerical sense.

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[Jun 22nd, 2020 4:41:07pm]

another tumblr draft therapy session. this is going to be ALL over the place.

I just want to - sing? I’m sleepy and don’t want to do anything. but I have like, duties. and things/wip left from last week and over the weekend to attend to.

A main reason of things piling up is not (just) because of me procrastinating, but I’ve also been reacting a lot. that’s actually causing me to lose focus in my own compass. not to say regarding the blog that grand, but (selfishly) on a personal level like I want to get (those) things done.

It’s a bit of pressure from both the follower pressure* that i feel a little“monitored” in my actions, and a personal drive to fulfillment. I’ll come on and dash, mostly just out of habit and it’s not like everything is mind-blowing every day. But I got inspired by the fandom’s creativity a lot, even though that’s winding down. Besides the couple of stories I want to work on seeing other people’s art (that I have a small part in requesting), I’ve been getting tagged in’s and messages. it’s just me to react to people liking my stuff. I’m still surprised and thankful for every reaction i get, even though the tumblr population and thus the culture - gifset format and their habits in like/reblog ratios has changed drastically since 2016.

I always feel like I open my tumblr drafts - and then don’t want to do anything. Right now it’s probably more related to my physical fatigue, after a week of going out every day under the 30°+ glaring sun. I’ve been setting daily goals and never getting around to finish them - then dragging on to only sleep at 4am. Not healthy. This pattern has even lasted a whole week already! (if not a month!)

and it’s just - a weighing ton of workload - that while I’m happy to work on/through - in the same time became a bit intimidating. I know that I’ll feel more satisfied when I’m finished with them, and I honestly find joy in doing work like this - creating for my favourite story & fandom. but everything from every aspect piling on me at once left me a little bit sour. (*╯︿╰)

and I really feel like screaming from the bottom of that pit.

you see i’ve been keeping a queue since the amazing stuff from a month ago was so blooming while my post frequency and number has went down. it feels like a lot has left (temporarily) again now the hype is over. and i surely don’t and can’t blame them for not living on the internet 24-7. but i sure do feel a bit maladjusted in the finale aftermath. like i’m locked in this hell hole and everybody else has moved on for recovery shows and new hobbies. I can’t even find interest in a prolonged activity. I do have a lot of backup interests/hobbies to fall back on, but I seem to have no attention span to stay anywhere but tumblr. :(

I’m always so uptight into checking the activity page it’s almost pathological. I’m always refreshing it looking for sth to react, while my sanity demands otherwise. It’s only if nobody on tumblr is looking for me at my posts that I feel safe enough to retreat to a soundproof cave or I’m ignoring people. and it’s conflicted because I do like interacting with other people who are as passionate as I am about my favourite people. however the truth is I’m not good at making/keeping friendships* so it could be a strain on my lazy ass :(

Reasonably, I know I should set a particular time to check activity only, or just close the site/log off for the while. I should work harder at keeping limits like that just to coach myself into shape.

Also I should mention this weird adjust to U.S. time that left my work day to start circa 22:35...

#sometimes i forget coffee fix everything #i just need to aggressively karaoke

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[Jun 24th, 2020 3:52:51pm]

everyone is so fuckin’ talented on this site...

i’ve always wanted a sewing machine, even clothes-making is a very very low-ranked hobby of mine, and i’m no way skilled at that...

and i’m finally buying it for my 23rd birthday, in trade for new book space in the house....

everyone artist in the tcw fandom is so goddamn talented....

everyone who draws tcw characters in alternative fashion... i blame you all for my latest shopping spree on a new sewing machine and sixty brands of fabric...

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[Jun 25th, 2020 12:21:13am]

haha let's try to write something. It's 23:05, Wendnesday, Jun 24th. Ah, last year today I was already in Osaka, sound asleep onboard the bus to Tokyo. Right now, I binged three episodes of Clone Wars after a good glass of Choc-Milk Tea and two of Mom's sweet soup.

My eyes are wide awake and in my chest it's like butterflies fluttering. I'm so excited by things and so deflated at the same time. I fucked up my own sleep schedule now I'm perm stuck at a 4am/4pm/4 hours rotation and it sucks. Because I can never seem to gather enough energy in the day time to work on anything important. I'd have ideas in my brain but no outlet. and when I'm more adjusted to waking up after cooking and eating a meal, my body goes into digestive fatigue and demands a nap again. so in the end I get no fucking thing done while the clock hits eleven.

I guess I'm suppose to write, at the wee of night. But it also doesn't feel that right, as an excuse. If I must say, I do prefer working/writing in the afternoon, for I feel more energized to do it then. Now it's the night and my whole indoctrination tells me I should sleep. Maybe I should do it now so I can wake up some time early tomorrow, yeah let's do that.

Another thing I want to rant at least once (more) is how much I fucking miss Japan. like I really miss the sunny days and windy nights and the foreign land. Forcing myself to speak another language and being miles and miles away from chores and people. Getting Financial freedom. Arguably I've been buying and cooking the past few days too, generally putting two meals in my body every day, and that fulfills me to a degree, but I do want a more purposeful task. To say the least, I guess I'm ready to look for a job now, just that my uni/degree is very very messy and while i'm reluctant, i'm sure i can work that out avoid the problem in a few moves.

Haha, I also need to apply for that government grant so I can pay for bills and a good time next month. There's $10,000 and I think it's gonna evaporate by the end of the year, realistically. I suppose my mom will need some of it, when she asks. I'll be spending $1000 on dining, that's for sure. While I do want a good machine, $1000+ for a seldom hobby and a high-risk-to-be-thrown-around-during-mum's-tantrum item is still too much. Hopefully, I can score a second-hand at around $500. I also objectively needs a new phone. I've been using this second-hand one for two and a half years now, while the model is a product of 2015. It can't charge or read memory cards proper anymore. While I do prefer older models like this for its durability upon fall and removal of battery, I do need a new phone so I don't have to listen to the same six songs over and over again. But I hate picking out new phones - generally comparing products and prices at all for the tedious work, and honestly I had solutions around that, so I'm not all that out for buying a new one. idk, maybe I'll hold out for another six months longer before I absolutely have to get a new one.

I've been doing more art lately (by art she means sketching and lately she means the past three days). I just want to. I'm really glad scuttlebuttin find me interesting enough to chat with, and I'm overwhelmed by all these amazing artists on the website. Which makes me want to draw things too, but I have no skills :( I have years of practice ahead of me just to draw a profile. I thought I could design some clothing, but alas, that's not something you force upon. It's definitely there, down the line, but right now the inspiration is not responding.

And what I should really do, is write. Articles, metas, fics otherwise. I have this long list of debt in my wip drafts that I owe these projects themselves to get onto. and it would honestly be something I'd love to get on. I remember one or two months ago when I'd be fiercely typing on the keyboard and it felt good. So I want to be writing that stuff. Instead/On the contrary, I'm writing about myself, which in itself it's not a bad thing, it's still meaningful - but I could use that time to write something that's also meaningful to somebody else.

Overall, I just want to bring more positivity into the fandom, create more buzz and discussion around it. I'm incredulous that artists do draw my "request" because I (don't want to) feel like cheating them by asking for their effort without repaying them in some way. Which is why I do try to create a story/scenario to go with the thing, in a very minute way of giving thanks. (but I sucks at speed)

and I HAVE TO, have to talk about the influx of followers. Looking back now, I remember I had bare 400 followers when i first came back in March (398 to be exact), and most of that are dead/porn blogs. Now I have an active following of at least 200 people, 10 or so that interact daily, and fandom talents that I hold to the highest regard as mutuals. Just... what an incredible honour. That, in a way definitely brings a kind of pressure I didn't had, say back in 2013-6 while tumblr is a window into lives across the globe, but my blog was a tiny and safe haven to express all my doubts and frustration, pride and mania. I didn't have to worry about my text posts being seen. The follower count is a large part of why I feel I need to be more responsible for my speech along with my years added. So more often I find myself therapeutically typing into the tumblr draft just to clear my train of thoughts. I understand this is still very much my space and I shouldn't be too paranoid about people fixating on me, a fellow random internet stranger. but... it's not that I want to be... more private, but I kinda also wish I could publish stuff without thinking someone else would go through it. and most rant it's not even like, it'd be upsetting (to the reader) if it was actually seen (because it's mostly just very me-specific self-doubt). You know, my heart skips a beat when I rant something personal and it gets a like - like, I don't even know what you mean! and I don't want to second guess! but the knowledge that someone read this very me-specific thought - and took the effort to leave a heart - gives me even more self-doubt.

More tumblr stuff. Now that every one has moved on (to other shows or back to work), I'm feeling lonely (because the dash and my favourite people are not as active anymore) and cramped (because I'm interacting with new people and my posts got way more popular way easier than during the run, with less competition and algorithm). and the sad, sad truth is I understand the whole working mechanism behind the whole thing. Our age group are adults and have working jobs and it only makes sense if they queue during weekdays or not come online daily - because real-life responsibilities are important that way, but i really, really miss the buzz of May even the migration is a huge sign for me to move on myself as well, one that I want to believe in. It's been difficult to adjust, which is why it took me two whole months to, and I'm only beginning to think of more real-life responsibilities/non-tumblr activities now. So I want to isolate myself from this site a little, find a day job and set up an actual rhythm to my life, then I can return to tumblr/gifing/clone wars as an escapist hobby instead of having it taken over my life completely.

I also feel kind of left out because I'm not in the active clone sub-fandom. They've been denying canon and inventing fanon for years. With or without the Clone Wars resurrgence, they'd've still done the the same. And with the general disinterest in the Jedi Order and the tragedy of clones, nothing has changed in the status quo for them. They simply went back to creating happy AUs and clone OCs which is why they bounce back much faster than Ahsoka (Anakin) stans like us. On the other hand, Kenobi stans, a new discovery for sure since my departure are "destined for infinite sadness", so it's not like the pain of the finale is anything new to them, and with Obi-wan departed three weeks ago, they theoretically had more time to recover. So I guess I'm still lonely in my woe.

If you ask for my personal closure with The Clone Wars, it's half-baked - or coming undone. I still haven't written a definitively eulogy (poem) for them - it, and I haven't published every meta I have on just the final scene. Nor had I mad much progress with the big cinematography analysis I desperately want to do. It just... invoke such a sadness and immobility in the solemness of that scene I hardly know what to do. These are some healthy hobbies/vents that could really benefit from a proper rhythm of the day. I mean - I'm ready to catch a break - a tiny tiny bit of aesthetic fatigue from canon!Ahsoka even - and I still stand by when I said the Bendu knighting her gave me the closure I need. I would've been perfectly content if I didn't know she came back from Malachor as Ahsoka the White. but now I do? I desperately need her to interact with Luke/Leia and REUNITE WITH ANAKIN'S FORCE GHOST. I dare not to think too much if she's immortal. and I really don't want the mess regarding her live-action rumours. I hardly know if anything's true and I don't want to think things that I have a backup plan for when I don't like it. I don't even want to mention Ahsoka. I just... take me back to the start.

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[Jun 26th, 2020 4:23:02pm]

you subscribe to patreon for quality work but if you follow me on tumblr dot com you only get exclusive untagged shitposts

ah the bless of tumblr’s late night + my time zone’s afternoon.

to put tags on a meme kind of defeat the purpose of a meme

not cosplaying ahsoka is a sane decision I’ll never attempt in my life, but i’ll never stop postulate what texture would lekku feel like. 6′aSZ..;p

my biggest complain against live-action ahsoka whatsoever is NO material will make lekku look organic enough. look at my icon.

one thing led another i sketched some tcw(clones)-themed sailor fuku and there’s no explanation rex’s’s model has to have abs.

i’m feeling really fluttering on (in?) the inside. Every day I learn something new from the Star Wars universe and I already feel obsessed enough. There’s so much to learn!

every day tumblr user scuttlebuttin post new artwork at 5am-ish in my time and I wake up to its majesty every day from then on i’m a non-funcitoning human popsicle melting in the 30°C weather the whole day i-

every day i come on tumblr dot com, reblog my friend’s stuff, then crawl back under my own rock

i don’t know why this week the last two days has been like this - i’m tired all the time, sleepy all the time, i have no motivation to initiate anything ever. I have stuff floating in my head, I feel my whole being locked in thought and I’m overwhelmed by... time. the passage of time. laughing at me in the face. (I’m probably getting emo again before period)

i kinda want to do gifs but maybe nothing i ever do will top that vader-soka post ever

and the monthly ‘get fancy’ urge flared up again. and i’m still sitting on my lazy ass, torn between ‘working/writing’ and ‘get the fuck out and exercise’.

i think i would’ve displayed enough conceitedness by now for people on the internet to decide i’m obnoxious

this post has dragged on from the afternoon to now 3:36am in the morning. it’s a collection of scattered shitposts across the last few days. and as evident, i can’t even get a proper diary written.

no i have nothing else to vomit

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new diary. [27/6/2020. 3:40am to 4:16am.] parenting.

I talked with little bro last night. Yes, we haven’t seen each other again for another week. Yesterday was Dragon Boat Festival so we all met up at Gramp’s for dinner. On our ride back, he started talking about psychology and existentialism - not that he know the term - and a little bit conspiracy theories. I’m really glad he finally starts questioning his life. and I’m even surprised at myself being calm about his development on track with mine, two years behind.

Being/living away from him is beneficial to both of us, to an unforeseen extent. I’m relieved of the constant dread to raise him while being irresponsible myself. I can barely hold myself together while I pile on more unnecessary burden - roles that I don’t even qualify. Everything you do is magnified in her eyes.

Then since last year, our society and more importantly the micro-society that is our family... underwent some fundamental changes, to say the least. He is able to see behind the curtains to ugly truths and learnt to rely on himself, while being a good communicator on his own. I know how important it is for a teenager to have a listener, and that’s the role I’m trying to fill in. He also understands our similarities and differences between us, and the four of us, better than any one. He’s also more athletic, outgoing and sociable than I could ever be. So the new direction I will steer him in is diverse but accurate language to coach him in acknowledging and expressing his emotions over impulses. I felt like he is already capable in the empathy department (and he will be more sincere than I’ll ever be, because he doesn’t have ASD. Even with his one-sided experience with people on the spectrum, he understands the evil in the state media’s portrayal of the condition, among other disabilities)

The Summer is a political awakening, and his personal awakening slowly gains momentum since then even though his school’s Liberal Education curriculum doesn’t sow that seed. Unlike my school, his curriculum skipped over Personal Growth and Interpersonal Relationships in like two months while we had a year to talk about everything. The lessons on actualization, gender stereotypes, idol worshiping, generation gap, to romance theory, parenting styles and family function during my twelfth year really helped with my inquisitive puberty self. Since the second term, they’ve been on Hong Kong’s economy and sociopolitical participation - which undoubtedly has to be toned down after self-censorship and the bottom licker of a bureau head. From the fact they are a Band III school, the materials are already ‘dumbed down’ compared to my school but they honestly talked about too much things too shallow (I can attest because I was there at his online lessons.) I’m not even gonna complain about spoon-feeding info - model answers of an interpretation instead of the method, because that’s the general style of teaching in Hong Kong for the past two decades, and you have to start somewhere, BUT. During these precious formative teenage years, it’s important to teach the 13/14-year-olds HOW TO THINK, more importantly, how to think others would think, and recgonize validity: respect where it’s due.

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[Jun 7th, 2020 7:21:49pm]

there they go again. #autism rant

TVB is back with another autistic (asperger) character. (who is basically a ripoff of Shaun Murphy as my preliminary search unearths)

I’m-- slightly fuming at it. While a firm believer of seeing the whole picture, I couldn’t help frowning because it most certainly sounds like they are glorifying autism by painting it ‘savant’ and ‘cute quirks’, just playing right into the stereotype and making as if autism is something you want in your kids by IT HELPS YOU RAISE A DOCTOR. Especially under such a pressurized education system like Hong Kong’s where people feed ‘smart drugs’ to kids.

I mean, every once a few years they run dry and will write another autistic character. Usually the more common ‘typical’ autistic men still in the care of a single mother played for ridicules and tear-jerking. you know, your usual type of disability played for chicken soup for the sound. I’m rolling my eyes so hard at this hegemony for playing ALL kinds of discriminatory stereotypes that I honestly didn’t bother to speak out. Like the whole city knows their talents run dry and credibility low, so I just hadn’t bother.

Anyway, I’ve always been interested in a character study for autistic portrayal on the small screen from the TV station that DOMINATES and profits. (RTHK out there doing the lord’s work by actually casting actors with corresponding conditions in much more accurate portrayals and passionate stories, but they have a viewership share of barely 1%) and it was sparked by one very heartfelt performance in the 2015 drama, Smooth Talker. To my surprise, autism is no longer introduced as one of the two extreme; neither a genius or an idiot. It isn’t a form of intellectual disability or ‘lesser’, just ‘different’, and she is a girl.

So I was very, very invested in the character’s journey even though she only has a secondary role. They still played tropes like ‘beautiful face, weird brain’, but the Asperger character is also very well-informed in her condition, has personal goals, and manage to foster positive male friendships and grow from those around her. All in all, that was the staple of positive, and accurate autism portrayal in my eyes. I still love that drama and her particularly to this day.

:/ All in all, a copycat but stereotypical Shaun is a regress no less, but what do we expect from a state media now. just fucking sad people are fed more and more disinformation from news to entertainment, and the ignorant mass that feeds on TVB? are the exact mob of short-sighted selfishness the society needs to eradicate.

P.S. I just looked at his featured trailer. It’s playing RIGHT into the trope I hate most - that autistic pepole have no self-control. Yes, our brain tells us to do things at inappropriate times, but the whole purpose of socialization, and extra training because we are autistic, is to familiarize us with a reasoning mechanism to process emotions that could be foreign to us. Like people have impulses in their brains all the time and I bet we only act on 1% of them. Or that as an asperger autist myself, I would be extra mindful of my behaviour in my public, or around people I love (when I care), because I’m intelligent enough to know that society perceive differently than me. The fact that he initiated physical contact and wrap himself around his crush/colleague pushed my brows together in a tight lock.

The next scene has the said crush/colleague reciting back to him his autistic traits. hmmm. He started the trailer by saying he has a ‘normal’ IQ and stated the same difficulties? and that his medical training should’ve made him knowledgeable even if his condition was left untreated as a kid? which it isn’t? I fuckin’ hate this kind of senseless exposition. the only part they got closer to reality is maybe his banging head on the wall or preference for ambient noises. so yeah they got the ‘problems’ right.

also autistic people definitely do not talk like monotonous robot.

Follow Up: 27/6/2020 6am

The drama has been on a while (3 weeks) now. *breathes* Their relationship obviously doesn’t work. The insistence of using the exact words ‘ASD’ instead of the laymen is hypocritical. The set-up of mother-in-law/new wife rivalry is cliched and exhaustive. Inclusion of typical “autistic” patients in cameo roles as representation to the variety of the spectrum and exploration of the caretaker’s stress is... shallow and stereotypical.

I’m all for two imperfect people growing and learning with each other but they are pushed into marriage because the girl is dying?? and he simply stayed physically next to her the whole time?? woah, where’s the attraction? passion, intimacy, commitment - understanding? They don’t know what they’re getting into in a rush and they’re not ready.

okay, the actor is not bad. but would i say he’s good? original? No. He’s borderline accurate at glance, but I wouldn’t say he’s charming.

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[Jun 4th, 2020 7:41:31pm]

*sigh* I don’t know what to do again, so I’m going to therapeutically type into the tumblr draft and not publish anything again.

hmm the typing does feel right. but I don’t even have anything I want to say, per se. I do wanna go take a walk though,

I’m depressed and I don’t want to do any thing (until the next sun’s up and then go back to sleep) It’s not like when I’m restless when I would be fluttering looking for work to do. I opened the WIP list and lost interest in every. single. project. I love them and want to get them done all the same but I just looked at it then turn my head away annoyingly. I wanna sing my heart out. But I feel like I have a lot of thoughts locked up inside my head and it’d take either a very long type or some quickly frustrating handwriting to get out. :/ it could also be the period talking

*breathes* I try to remind myself to breathe

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[May 31st, 2020 10:30:03pm]

idk man idk what i want to do right now so i’m going to threaupetically type into the tumblr draft and not publish a thing :)

well i’ve been doing a LOT late actually. writing and giffing and buffing up the WIP list again. and i do like writing, but i guess for different reasons in different media. like on mobile, i’m more encouraged to start and list stuff out. but i have to come back to a desktop keyboard organize everything. hmm any way i love writing and i’m DESPERATE to get back to proper skysnips meta and or fic *air kiss*

*sigh* i have like so many things i wanna do~! right now, from all my heart, I actually wanna rewtach the wrong jedi arc. i miss them together and i miss them so much and i need that nostalgic pain. i just miss them so much!!!! okay!!!!!

~let’s go read some fanfic now :p

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[28/5/2020 14:30-15:00]

#personal #dark thoughts in the day of an afternoon

the disillusion of the justice system should serve as foreshadowing and thus, a warning to the people who still have faith in 'one country, two systems' which ultimately is merely a caricature of a constitution.

I used to believe in the justice system, not just the concept of justice served, but an actual system I can rely on. With every new court ruling, or lack there of of a prosecution, I believe less and less people could still hold the same faith in it. But if they still cling on to the mirage of 'a whole country', that we could somehow be the precious snowflake under a tyranny -

The phenomenon actually has only boiled over since the Anti-Extradition Law movement. But it has been simmering and boiling us alive since 2016, when the law was abused to disqualify democratically elected councillors, when they remove the force of change that once tried to play their game.

My mom questioned me that a lot, why wouldn't we work our way up to position of power and change from within. I stumbled once, I stopped explaining twice, and I barely manged an eyeroll the third time. That has been her philosophy imposed on me all my life. and to have that motto ripped apart, to have reality forces me to confront it - is a... destructive experience. (deconstructive would give a clearer meaning but it certainly destroyed (a part of) my old self and honestly caused some emotional damage)

I'm not saying sorry though. I'm not repairing that. I know all the right way to hurt people ok. and sometimes I like it. I don't understand people who don't understand that people can be sadistc. like, you can hurt people for fun. but most times it's not a very strong motivation, sometimes you just hurt people because you want to see them hurt, and that in turns feeds back to the Fun.

and honestly I don't hate myself for it. and I confirmed that I wouldn't woo for it in the future. and honestly I don't care if anyone die alone in despair. but this begs the question of, if you don't care, why would you rather choose this path? yeah i don't care, so i don't for this question as well. I am power-hungry!

I'm listening to lam chik's interview from rthk. He talked about letting go and holding on. he talked about reflecting on why we say the meanest things to the people we love most. I realize that when I was 16 ok. not trying to judge him or anything, just the philosophy discussed in the show. He was pleaing, a point in his life, wishing the pain would 'go away'.

I was thinking, how are you so confident that it wouldn't? that you could hold on to what you like? what you choose to believe/remember? what gave you the arrogance to defeat age and your own brain's decay?

It's

#echoesdiary

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daehquns · 7 years ago

Text

( * kyong dae-hyun. )

♡ — * » KYONG DAEHYUN looks so cute on the beach !! apparently, ( he/they ) come from ( south korea ) and are a ( twenty ) years old ( pansexual ) ( demiboy ) ( med student ). other hotel residents described them as ( gentle + sage ), but also ( ambivalent - faint-hearted ). don’t you think they look a bit like ( PARK JIMIN ) ?

WARNING: this is really long, my dudes. so long.

hello hi hi, it’s SKY ( 2-o, she/her, cest tz, but an insomniac ) & this is my smol blob of confusion, so if their story confuses you, i succeeded. also this is easily my absolute favourite character ever, so ,,, idk random info. ALSO: i have an exam tomorrow, my peeps, so i don’t think i’ll be around till tomorrow but !! i can’t wait to plot & interact with all of you.

SORTA BIO THING:

[ MISCARRIAGE TW ] kyong daehyun was born in daegu, south korea on the 22nd of february 1997. they were sort of a miracle baby bc their mom went through two miscarriages before them ( she’s rh negative & the babies were rh positive n ,,, i wont explain the biology behind it, im sure yall know that ). they’re an only child. they’ve always wanted a sibling ( an older one ,,,, they always want the impossible things smfh ). so yeah, they were a bit lonely while growing up

they were a very weak child who’d fall ill quite often (their family used to call them aga/aggie/babybc of it … sorta stuck with them to this day ), so much that it affected their education. the poor bean skipped a lot of classes, so eventually their parents decided it was best for them to leave school. they were homeschooled !! altho they now have incredible work ethic bc of this, they didn’t have many friends while growing up :( they sorta didnt even get the chance to develop n test their social skills. they came in contact with their parents, nannies, parents’ business partners, etc … long story short, they were surrounded by adults. this made them VERY mature for their age, even back then.

the greatest discovery of their life was the internet. they had little interest in sports & going outside, so they’d spend their free time glued to the screen of their laptop, either watching movies, youtube videos & tv shows or getting to know strangers from across the world thanks to various websites & apps. they’d often stay up all night n ruin their sleep pattern in order to talk to their friends from other timezones. they made them so happy. so. happy.

their parents sort of made them pursuit a medical career, though, they literally have -10 interest in it. not 0. -10. they just want to make them proud, ok ?? especially since they’ve always been an incredible student n studying came easily to them. they were praised while growing up, so naturally they started thinking they were exceptional as well.

COLLEGE ! they. hate. it. hate it. like, they are fallin apart n are like “wow so what is this, i thought i was smart ?? they told me i was the most intelligent kid in the world wHY cant i do literally anything now w o w im so average yUCK”. i mean, they still get good grades, but they ARE struggling.

[ PROFESSOR/STUDENT RELATIONSHIP THING TW ] … idk maybe someone’s triggered by that. anyway, there was a class that made them 11/10 done with life & they were sure they’d fail it n ruin their entire life, so they approached the professor ( who ,,, was rly hot n made hyunnie weak in the knees ok ) n were like “i will literally do ANYTHING in order to pass this class ,,,,,, pls”. like, they had 0 shame bc they were so done with it. n ,,, long story short, they ended up sleeping with the professor … ,,, multiple times. t was bc of the grade the first time, but … they’re pretty much in love with him now. and they’re a bit foolish, they hope he’s in love with them too. n idk they sort of dream about being in a real relationship with them. l mao … my poor kiddo.

COOLER INFO THING:

nicknames include: hyunnie, dee, mochi ( i have to steal that from jiminieeee bc yes. my squishy bol of cuteness ), aga/aggie/baby. or just call them dae or hyun honestly

daehyun is a demiboy ( they/them or he/him. if you refer to them as she/her, they will feel uncomfortable, but they will not have the guts to correct you. lmao one time they watched a woman make them european-style pancakes with nutella & cherries, even though they asked for a nutella/banana combo. they did not correct her. they ate half of it, left with a pout on their face n were sad for the rest of the day tHATS HOW ANXIOUS N SHY THEY ARE BYE ). anyway, as i said —— demiboy. panromantic ( very romantic, a huge dreamer. the type to imagine cute scenarios with their crush before falling asleep ). pansexual, though the most attracted to masculine physique buT !! they’re too self-conscious n emotion-dependent that they can’t have sex with just about anyone. n o. byee. like, the thought of getting naked in front of someone is terrifying to them, so they really need to trust n know the person. i wouldn’t call them demisexual though, since they do experience sexual attraction without having an emotional bond, they just … can’t let go of their ~stupid insecurities~

[ FOOD TW ] they don’t eat meat. yes, they do love animals n feel sad about those poor things, but that’s not the main reason why they don’t eat it. the smell, the look, the taste of meat makes them incredibly sick. when they were smol & had any sort of meat for lunch, they’d sit at the table for 5 hours n eat everything BUT the meat. most of the time, they used to give it to their dog who was v chubby bc of them. lunch was the worst time of the whole day for them, it was suuuuuuuper bad, especially since their parents didn’t understand their problem n called them spoiled. now that they are away from home, they’re super happy cause they can eat whatever they want ( sweets n pastries ). this bish ALWAYS has a lollipop in their mouth n a candy bar with them.

why are they obsessed with lollipops ? thanks to them they destroy their nails n cuticles LESS when bored, since their mouth is occupied. you can determine how life’s goin for daehyun just by looking at their hands. when everything’s good, their nails are painted ( the execution n design also say a lot about how much free time they have n how clear their head is ). when everything’s shit, they aren’t painted, they are bloody and sore, skin completely damaged, so much that it hurts to touch items with the very tips of their fingers. everything burns n they’re wincing 25/8.

they always have literally everything with them. you need a tissue, a comb, a hair brush, a band-aid, a hand sanitizer, a nail polish, some water, something sweet, a set of stem cells & a cure for every illness in the world ?they have it all. they’re always prepared for every situation. this is bc of their huge fear of facing a situation for the first time unprepared. also … you should never make them order food on their own or make a serious phone call or wtvr bc .. they can’t do that.

they’re fluent in english, but pls don’t throw big words at them :( they feel so embarrassed when they don’t know what something means. they go home & write the new word on one of their colourful cards, along with its translation to korean, a smol explanation & an example sentence n they have loads of those cards that they reread whenever they have time. when they learn a new word, they love showing off lmao dumbass

while they were back in korea n spending time on youtube, they used to watch a lot of kpop mvs + makeup tutorials n fell in love with makeup n wanted to look as beautiful as the people in those videos. they started stealin their mother’s makeup n used to be awful at paintin’ their face, but got better with time. they used to save money for eyeliners n primers n highlighters n all sort of shit n they’d hide all the products in their room n play with them whenever they were home alone. they know it’s their true passion& call, but they are so discouraged by the fact that they can’t even walk outside wearing makeup. they aint confident enough & still don’t think they can pull it off.

they made a new youtube account with the intention to post their own tutorials, but … mm, there’s still 0 uploaded videos on that channel

i’ve been struggling to decide which hair colour to go with … black, platinum blonde, silver or pink n i chose …pink.

they’ve never been in an actual relationship. never cuddled, or did couple-y things. their professor took their virginity, so … ya. that’s one of the reasons why they’re refusing to let him go.

[MEDICATION TW] as i mentioned before, they were a weak child who was often sick and had bad migraines ,,, this sort of got them hooked on medication ?? like, they will convince themself that their head is hurting and jus pop a pill without any need to do so ,,,, like, they are 110% sure they need pills to function normally every single day.

nature !! the world !! they love it.

aesthetics hoe !!!!!!!!! will sell their soul for the things that please their senses

they know how to draw well. they lololololove drawing comic book characters. like, they have their own characters already

dancing !!! especially contemporary ! bc ,,, i have a lot of those gifs n icons that i gotta use

loves apples ?

wants a cat. d e s p e r a t e l y

PERSONALITY:

i think it’s quite obvious that they’re a very anxious, shy & alert person 24/7 and i guess that you can see how their upbringing had a lot to do with it. i don’t view their shyness as cute and adorable, but they definitely aren’t grim either. they’re just closed-off. they’re not used to sharing personal stuff with other people, at least not face to face. online, everything’s different.

most of the time they’re like … “uhhhhh, people - i’d rather not. that can get me in a lot of awkward n uncomfortable situations n i’d rather avoid that’. they don’t find solitude depressing. they enjoy their alone time, they find comfort in it. they are very aware of the fact that their social skills suck & as i said a part of them doesn’t give a damn, but … another part is worried bc if they truly want to be in the makeup world, they will have to learn to be a people person, have a fantastic charisma n ,, talk to people ? lmao

their zodiac sign is pisces n they HATE IT lol they’re like “i’m not a whiny baby emo dreamer ew go away” so they keep telling people that their zodiac sign is aquarius bc it’s close enough n they find them cool n admire the description of the seemingly stoic sign that goes through life with their brain rather than their heart. they love to think that they’re strong n logical, that they’re not emotional … but that’s not the case. it’s all an act really

once you demolish their shell, you’ll find the most adorable creature in the whole entire universe ?/ they also love tellin stupid jokes. they almost never finish them bc they laugh too hard at em

they get attached to people VERY easily n then they can’t live without them n that freaks them the fuck out. like. they fall in love ten times a day. im. not. kiddin.

they’re all about living life to the fullest, they just have a bit different vision of what true livin is lmao

philosophical af ? hates small talk, always wants to talk abt deep shit

the type to send you memes and stuff that reminds them of you

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

this is so important. online friends. they met online a couple of years ago ( we’ll figure out how ) n now they’re both here and ? hyunnie is so scared to meet them bc they’re afraid that person won’t like them irl, but the desire is bigger than the fear !

similar to the previous one, but it was a long distance relationship ( it ended bc the distance was too much ig ). they only chatted, but they know everything about each other. they were infuriated every single day bc they couldn’t physically feel each other, but they still planned a future together, or at least meeting irl … maybe they now finally have a chance ?

crush. as i said, hyunnie falls quickly for a person. it can be unrequited. it’s just someone they daydream about n sigh over. or it can be the other way around, but hyunnie is quite clueless n doesn’t pick up on their hints.

friends ?? the plot depends on your charrie tbh but dw about it, i usually have 57430865026701348 ideas, so ya.

i have no idea what else ,,,, imma go make a wanted connections tag n reblog some plots probably. bUT HEY feel free to send plots my way, i luv that

#corfintro

7 notes · View notes

dachyun · 7 years ago

Text

( * kyong dae-hyun. )

✧—* » [PARK JIMIN, DEMIBOY, TWENTY]—-oh shit! is that [KYONG DAEHYUN], [MEMBER] of [ALPHA TAU OMEGA]? [HE/THEY] is/are a [JUNIOR] and a [BIOCHEMISTRY] major. That’s probably because they’re [MAGNANIMOUS] but have a tendency to be [TIMID]. I guess you’ll just have to see.

WARNING: this is really long, my dudes. so long.

hello hi hi, it’s SKY ( 2-o, biochem student myself, she/her, cest tz, but an insomniac ) & this is my smol blob of confusion, so if their story confuses you, i succeeded. also this is easily my absolute favourite character ever, so ,,, idk random info

SORTA BIO THING:

they were a very weak child who’d fall ill quite often ( their family used to call them aga/aggie/babybc of it … sorta stuck with them to this day ), so much that it affected their education. the poor bean skipped a lot of classes, so eventually their parents decided it was best for them to leave school. they were homeschooled !! altho they now have incredible work ethic bc of this, they didn’t have many friends while growing up :( they sorta didnt even get the chance to develop n test their social skills. they came in contact with their parents, nannies, parents’ business partners, etc … long story short, they were surrounded by adults. this made them VERY mature for their age, even back then.

their parents sort of made them pursuit a medical career ( currently biochem major ), though, they literally have -10 interest in it. not 0. -10. they just want to make them proud, ok ?? especially since they’ve always been an incredible student n studying came easily to them. they were praised while growing up, so naturally they started thinking they were exceptional as well.

they moved to the states bc COLLEGE ! they. hate. it. hate it. not the country, but the classes they are in. like, they are fallin apart n are like “wow so what is this, i thought i was smart ?? they told me i was the most intelligent kid in the world wHY cant i do literally anything now w o w im so average yUCK”. i mean, they still get good grades, but they ARE struggling.

COOLER INFO THING:

nicknames include: hyunnie, dee, mochi ( i have to steal that from jiminieeee bc yes. my squishy bol of cuteness ), aga/aggie/baby. or just call them hyun honestly

[ FOOD TW ] they don’t eat meat. yes, they do love animals n feel sad about those poor things, but that’s not the main reason why they don’t eat it. the smell, the look, the taste of meat makes them incredibly sick. when they were smol & had any sort of meat for lunch, they’d sit at the table for 5 hours n eat everything BUT the meat. most of the time, they used to give it to their dog who was v chubby bc of them. lunch was the worst time of the whole day for them, it was suuuuuuuper bad, especially since their parents didn’t understand their problem n called them spoiled. now that they live alone they’re super happy cause they can eat whatever they want ( sweets n pastries ). this bish ALWAYS has a lollipop in their mouth n a candy bar with them.

they always have literally everything with them. you need a tissue, a comb, a hair brush, a band-aid, a hand sanitizer, a nail polish, some water, something sweet, a set of stem cells & a cure for every illness in the world ? they have it all. they’re always prepared for every situation. this is bc of their huge fear of facing a situation for the first time unprepared. also … you should never make them order food on their own or make a serious phone call or wtvr bc .. they can’t do that. literally, coming to the US all alone was so tRAUMATIC you don’t even know.

while they were back in korea n spending time on youtube, they used to watch a lot of kpop mvs + makeup tutorials n fell in love with makeup n wanted to look as beautiful as the people in those videos. they started stealin their mother’s makeup n used to be awful at paintin’ their face, but got better with time. they used to save money for eyeliners n primers n highlighters n all sort of shit n they’d hide all the products in their room n play with them whenever they were home alone. they still do that now that they are in america & they know it’s their true passion & call, but they are so discouraged by the fact that they can’t even walk outside wearing makeup. they aint confident enough & still don’t think they can pull it off.

they made a new youtube account with the intention to post their own tutorials, but … mm, there’s still 0 uploaded videos on that channel

i’ve been struggling to decide which hair colour to go with … platinum blonde, silver or pink n i chose …pink. they’ve been dyeing it pink ever since they came to the states.

nature !! the world !! they love it.

aesthetics hoe !!!!!!!!! will sell their soul for the things that please their senses

they know how to draw well. they lololololove drawing comic book characters. like, they have their own characters already

dancing !!! especially contemporary ! bc ,,, i have a lot of those gifs n icons that i gotta use

loves apples ?

wants a cat. d e s p e r a t e l y

PERSONALITY:

most of the time they’re like … “uhhhhh, people - i’d rather not. that can get me in a lot of awkward n uncomfortable situations n i’d rather avoid that’. they don’t find solitude depressing. they enjoy their alone time, they find comfort in it. they haven’t actually made an effort to make friends here ?? like …,,,.., i don’t think they care. they are very aware of the fact that their social skills suck & as i said a part of them doesn’t give a damn, but … another part is worried bc if they truly want to be in the makeup world, they will have to learn to be a people person, have a fantastic charisma n ,, talk to people ? lmao

once you demolish their shell, you’ll find the most adorable creature in the whole entire universe ?/ they also love tellin stupid jokes. they almost never finish them bc they laugh too hard at em

they get attached to people VERY easily n then they can’t live without them n that freaks them the fuck out. like. they fall in love ten times a day. im. not. kiddin.

they’re all about living life to the fullest, they just have a bit different vision of what true livin is lmao

philosophical af ? hates small talk, always wants to talk abt deep shit

the type to send you memes and stuff that reminds them of you

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

professor’s kid. yup, hyunnie is sleeping with their dad. n they found out ?? yikes.

first irl american friend. they literally helped them so much, explained how things work n stuff. they’ll forever be in their debt.

friends ?? the plot depends on your charrie tbh but dw about it, i usually have 57430865026701348 ideas, so ya.

i have no idea what else ,,,, imma go make a wanted connections tag n reblog some plots probably. bUT HEY feel free to send plots my way, i luv that

#ksuooc #ksuintro #sighs #idk

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