#the body she was last seen in alive. playing out memories and talking to people who werent there
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skymagpie · 3 months ago
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**TWW SPOILERS** & theory (hopium) discussion below
Happy launch day let's talk about our favorite wizard!
For those that have played or have at least seen the video, you know that Khadgar's fate is grim and that the general assumption (as wowpedia and the wiki put it) is that he is deceased. People have made a bunch of theories about it, so I am listing everything I know and have seen from the cinematic itself that might go in either direction.
In favor of Khadgar somehow surviving:
Unlike the previous major character death cinematics, Varian's, Vol'jin's and Saurfang's as example, Khadgar's cinematic does not show him actually die. The rule of no body = no death applies, as we never see him die on screen. Even if it's unlikely that he survived given that we saw the city explode, this video does play into the common trope when characters aren't truly dead and return later on.
There was a datamined wheelchair that most people believe to be a cut asset, but if you rewatch the video itself and focus only on his legs in the second half once he is injured, they do not move at all, even when it would be logical for the animation to have him move at least the knee or attempt to get up. (This was also brought up by another user.)
Khadgar turns to Xal'atath in anger, so he is neither pleading nor bargaining, however he also doesn't seem to want to keep fighting her. Instead, when she creates the black hole around herself, he willingly reaches out and allows his hand to "dissolve" before the scene cuts and we no longer see him. He reaches out of his own volition, and he groans in pain even before touching the black hole (which goes back to the above theory that he is already injured and just the strain of reaching towards it causes him pain).
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Khadgar's toy, the Wonderous Wisdomball is disabled in the new zones. This is such a small detail, but it feels like the final nail in the coffin. A lot of people believe that they wouldn't have included this small detail if they didn't plan something more for Khadgar and if this was his final farewell - maybe they would've even given it more lines and the such so people can keep it as a memory.
There is that one shot of Khadgar's eyes as he whispers "Alleria." but it's a completely new animation and it's not drawing from the cinematic. Everyone else in that sequence is actually alive. It could be a memory, but it could be something else. (this sceenshot is from this video)
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In favor of Khadgar being permanently dead:
Metzen kept hinting in the interview with Scott that he will kill a bunch of characters in the saga, to which Scott asked why is Khadgar first on the list and Metzen didn't reply, only laughed it off and said that there is no kill list - before comically looking back at Scott with a frown. He also mentioned that he is thinking of how to give respectful send off to the old characters so they can make space for the new ones. Khadgar's death above is as respectful as it can get for him, since we didn't see him suffer much and he went out a hero as he always was.
We saw his hand dissolve.
Dalaran exploded when whatever darkness swallowed Khadgar closed in on itself.
Xal'atath said "Goodbye, Guardian." so if anything, she would know what happens when you touch that black hole she summoned.
The wheelchair is from an untested Dalaran scenario and we know that Blizzard has previously cut things that were in the game files.
Patch 11.0 is Danuser's last patch, and Metzen took over since then. Metzen however said that he liked what Danuser did, but believed that there needs to be something bigger for the opening of the saga, so maybe even if Danuser was planning to bring Khadgar back, Metzen could change that now that he is our story lead.
There are few running theories that I saw people talking about, and while I cannot say I am vouching for a specific one myself, I am going to list them here:
Khadgar survives, he is in the void and he is injured, so he will be permanently disabled, possibly drained of his magic and no longer able to be The (unofficial) Guardian - hence the wheelchair.
Khadgar will return as a voided up raid boss and it will be up to us to put him down like Old Yeller, because Blizzard cannot do it themselves. 🙄
Khadgar survived, but his physical body is destroyed and he will become one of the Ethereals (this goes into the Khadgar and the Locus-Walker are the same entity theory).
If you have any other ideas, have seen something else in favor of either outcome or have a theory of your own, please let me know because I am looking for all the copium I can right now and we are just getting started with The War Within.
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maristelina · 2 years ago
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Kotoko Harrow Themes
I noticed that there seems to be a...vague take of Kotoko's Themes in Harrow that I sort of don't agree with. To summarize based on what the MV showed us, Kotoko's entire deal is about:
🔸Preying/exploitation of the weak (Children and Elderly). 🔸Exploitation of Power (Serial Killer's rich dad, the apartment towers) 🔸Cannibalism of the Weak / Parasite (Mikio Oshii, Paper bag robbery couple). 🔸Exploitation and Objectification of Women and Repressed Desires (Pervert at the Train Station taking Pictures).
Let's get more in-depth of the scenarios playing out.
You can read more about the articles in detail over here.
Kotoko's family dynamic and implications. Wolves travel in packs to support each other. As mentioned in Kotoko's interrogation, her family structure is as follows. Grandmother, father, mother and older brother. You will notice there is 4 Wolves and Kotoko. Meaning 5 family members!
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I think it's interesting that grandma is living with Kotoko's family. Because this could imply something about their financial structure family-wise!
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When grandparents and grandchildren live together usually means their grandparents are well-off.
But! people's lifestyles in Tokyo are kind of complex, it's also possible that the family has no choice but to live in the grandparent's house. Like the children had problems with their family relationships/needed to care for their frail grandparents etc.
The reason I brought up Tokyo is because in Kotoko's Prisoner HD card sent to Premium App users, it's said that she lives in Akasuka, Tokyo. However, it's most likely that they're rich considering Kotoko has money to burn to bribe a journalist.
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There are 2 major crimes that I believe is a great clue to their own family life. Kotoko places great interest in the warning sign which says a person has been dropped near the vicinity of their home.
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If you check the first minute of Kotoko's MV as she is waking up, you will see a wolf paw for a split second, A wolf's pelt on the ground, before the lighting strikes, a flash of its eye (important for later) and shows the wolf alive again. The pelt is gone from the ground and replaced.
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I think Kotoko used to have a little sister. The black haired girl wearing pink clothes in particular because we see the shots as if they were from her memories as the MV goes on.
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This girl is visible as a flashback despite having a different victim on the last part of the video as seen here:
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Some of the details of the murder are shown as if they're from Kotoko's memories. If you read the previous articles from the other blog post, none of the articles talk about how the Serial Killer killed his victims aside from throwing them on the street nearby the vicinity of their houses.
Meaning she's intimately aware of the Killer's modus operandi because their family was a victim of this serial killer.
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You will also notice a lady in white dress lying down after being hit by the hammer. I believe this is Kotoko's grandmother / monster because of the body physique. None of the articles talk about this as far as I can remember.
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These memories keep flashing by as Kotoko goes solo. Then, when finally given the chance, his is the wolf that is with her in the shelter and the one that eggs her on to kick this serial killer's ass. You will also notice they put great emphasis on the wolf's eye at the beginning of the video. Giving them a strong link.
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To recap, the reason we have so much emphasis on two exact crimes:
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🔸The Serial Killer killed the little sister and possibly the grandmother. The Serial killer also keeps getting away with it because his father is a politician. His face is fully visible in one of the frames.
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🔸Mikio Oshii scammed the elderly and stole "luxury" bikes. It's likely that their family was scammed as well. Kotoko killed him while wearing men's clothing to get away with it. It is one of the news articles talking about her vigilante activities.
Kotoko losing her pack one by one could be a financial ruin because of the scams and the death of the little sister.
What's interesting is what happens near the end. Kotoko's chair is replaced with a pelt...Is she...still alive?
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That is all for now. Thank you!
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red-velvet-0w0 · 2 months ago
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ok ok ok so I’ve heard you talk about your OCs but I don’t actually know anything about them so could you tell me about them?
:D
A chance to talk about my ocs!!!!!!!!
YIPEE!!!!
okay so
basicaly
theres a WHOLE lot of details i could get into but the basics of it is:
5 teenagers from a small town end up trapped in a time loop, though most of their memories get reset every loop, with a few exeptions (they keep the knowlege that they are in the time loop and the general knowlege of the relationships between each other, but cannot remember specifics of what happened)(they also each have a special thing that allows them to have some knowlege of what happened last time called a Memorabilia).
Ida Vidya: was a photographer from the school newspaper who dreamed of being a investigative journalist when she grew up. She is by far the most determined to figure out all of the mysteries in the town and escaping the loop. her memorabilia a disposable camera which stores 10 photos taken in the previous loop into the next loop
Jack Edmund-Kang: Is the son of the mayor and a sports player (though i havent fully decided what sport he did and its not really relevant). He has a lot of self worth issues and has taken it upon himself to protect everyone else from everything thats trying to kill them. His memorabilia is that he can remember all the blood and dead bodies hes seen in past loops and keeps any bodily changes through loops (ie: muscle growth, or scars. he has so so so so so many scars)
Jane Hare: a trans girl and aspiring writer. Shes pretty shy and has a fuck ton of anxiety and self hatred. I would go into more details but her story is pretty heavily tied to The Reflection so ill get to that later. she wakes up every morning with a limerick explaining what happened in the previous loop but with vague and cryptic wording
Amelia Augur: genderfluid cottagecore artist. she has a raven named Ray who she keeps as a pet. Ray keeps all the memories from previous loops but can only do so much to help due to being. you know. a bird
Blake Payne: angsty emo transmasc/nonbinary dude. has a neglectful mother and a lot of trauma. plays the drums. Hearing specific sounds can trigger memories from them from previous loops
as they start investigating and trying to figure out whats going on, however, they then realize that the situation isnt as simple as they seem
every loop the US government figures out something is going wrong and sends Special Agent Booker (CIA) to investigate the town and see whats going on. she doesnt keep her memories (at least at first some stuff goes down towards the end of the story) but comes into conflict with the children when they both are after the same thing.
As it turns out, Jacks father, Mayor Kang, is the leader secret underground society that worships and ancient magical artifact known as the Pentagramic Pocketwatch that he has been using to keep himself alive for centuries and was planning on using to revive his dead wife. It was stolen from them recently and they figure out that whoever has it is using it to trap them in a time loop. They realize that the kids are keeping some of their memories, and assume that they were the ones who stole the pocketwatch and begin hunting them down and trying to reclaim the pocketwatch.
Several minor gods have realized that the watch has been stolen and are trying to take it for themselves to become more powerful. among them: The Beast, god of the hunt and strength, The Mask, god of manipulation and trickery, The Reflection, god of self-perception and mirrors, and The Day, god of... days. The Beast has the least going on and is mostly just busy having vague toxic yaoi with the mayor and killing people. The Mask is just absolute worsties with Booker, and also really really hates Ida. its by far physicaly the weakest of all the gods but makes up for it by managing to constantly outsmart everyone. The Reflection ends up using Janes dysphoria as a tool to manipulate her into a weird abusive relationship where it forces her to work for it and help it get its hands on the pocketwatch (eventualy they "break up" and trap it inside of a hand mirror with The Masks help). The Day is just sorta there and nobody knows what its up to.
eventualy (im skipping past a lot) its revealed that The Day was the one who stole the pocketwatch because it dies every night and is reborn every day (fun paralels to how the time loop affects the kids) (this was set up earlier dont worry i just didnt have somewhere to put it in here so i didnt mention it) and is using the watch to turn back time right before it dies. they manage to get to it and convince it to give back the watch and allow time to progress again (again this is skipping over a lot). so the kids take it and are about to destroy it when out of nowhere The Mayor shows up and steals the pocketwatch before dissapearing to try to use it in a ritual to bring back his wife. However, the ritual nearly unravels the spacetime continuum and he comes to terms with her death and allows Jack to destroy the pocketwatch, killing him in the process
(this was a very quick summary, if you want more specific information on any part of this you can just send another ask. this is just sorta the very basics)
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creepywrites · 1 year ago
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Sally
Warnings: human trafficking, implied rape.
She was drugged up by John after he tricked her into the car by saying they were going to get ice cream and brought to America, than used for prostitution for 4 years until she was killed when she tried to escape.
She changed her last name from Williams to Dawn to try and leave her old life behind. She won't answer to Williams and doesn't consider Sam her cousin anymore, just a close friend.
She was branded with a barcode with numbers on the nape of her neck.
At first Sally didn't realise she was dead.
After her death she had no idea what to do or where to go, she was in a completely foreign country and just wanted to see her family again.
After what happened to her, she's almost expressionless.
She's seen and experienced one of the worst things, and lived in her new house with all the memories.
She's not hopeful or optimistic at all, infact she's almost fully mute because of her trauma. She doesn't kill people, infact she rarely does anything. She mostly sits in her new room, staring deadpanned at her dolls or at the floor, a sad, empty, glazed over look in her eyes. Occasionally, she will have fits of anger, where she hits, screams, and throws things, she will become downright feral at anyone who tries to touch her or come near her house. She doesn't think she'll ever recover. She rarely socialises or sees any of the other creeps sometimes maybe Sam. Maybe Sadie. They are the only few calm people here who won't set her off. Because of this, a lot of the creepypasta adults don't even know about her, the ones that do has only seen glimpses of her and any knowledge of her comes from the creepypasta kids.
She hates being touched and, if someone were to touch her, she’ll recoil in disgust and they'll send her into a panic/PTSD attack that'll take hours to calm down from. She hates everyone, or mostly everyone, and all the girl wants to do is be at peace, she despises being a ghost. She wishes she could die again, just to rest. She's genuinely devoid of all hope for the world. Her body aches constantly despite being so young, and the blood never stops dripping from her head. Sometimes, she hangs her head against the walls. She sees it as a constant reminder of what happened to her. She doesn't ever eat, never plays, never smiles. She's truly only the shell of the happy little girl she used to be.
Sam would always try to help her by encouraging her to go with him to Sadie's, but she always Refused and it'd cause a massive argument.
She only went because the house was eventually destroyed and Sam dragged her out.
Her default response to anything that even mildly upsets her is to start crying and screaming as loudly as possible. She's had trouble controlling her emotions ever since her death.
Sally carries a small pocket knife at all times.
Sally isn't as innocent as everyone thinks,  being a spirit who's been around for over 50 years, she's seen and heard several things in her afterlife.
She's very jealous of her friends and family, she couldn't help but feel a bit glad that they’ll eventually die too.
Absolutely loves and hates new technology.
Sally and Sam teamed up to kill John. It made her feel a lot better.
She has her own episode on a few old true crime channels.
She doesn't have many friends, because she doesn't like having friends that are alive, and a lot of the dead kids and Sally don't click because of how out of touch she is.
Loves to draw, she has a very cartoonish art style.
She still has mr death, John brought it with them-and absolutely loves him. She had a phase ages ago where she hated looking at him because he reminded her of her parents.
She always talks to him as if he's alive.
She has severe panic attacks if she can't find Mr. Death. Mr. D is one of the few things she has left to remember her parents by so she is very attached to him. She doesn't feel safe without her bear and she won't let others touch him.
She's learnt to sew just so she can fix him.
She loved decorating Mr D with her little doll hats.
Loves pastel colours.
She really hates todays music, so she just sticks to The Beatles and The Drifters.
Other the years she's had a few pets, she's stopped getting them though because she'd become attached and when they inevitably die, she becomes heartbroken.
She had two rabbits, Billy and Snowflake, one dog, Spots, and one cat, Kat.
Her powers are floating, phasing through solid objects and possession.
She hates being left alone, she sees it as being abandoned and has decided to latch onto Lilly Kennett, so they are always together. She is very possessive and overprotective, bordering controlling.
She keeps an old scrapbook she had when she was alive hidden in a backpack she keeps with her that's filled with pictures of her and her parents. She misses them a lot and keeps waiting for the day they come back.
She loved watching Tom and Jerry, she still watches it sometimes to reminisce.
She has a hyper and bubbly personality around her friends.
Her body was thrown into a near by river to dispose of the body. It took 3 months for someone to find her body, a dog and his owner found it while going on a walk.
Sally didn't know what she wanted to be, but during johnnys abuse she wanted to be a therapist to help kids like her.
She likes playing dolls with Lilly while Mr D and Milla play together.
She was raised to believe in God but after everything she's been through can't, but she hopes her parents are happy in heaven.
She's absolutely terrified of Laughing Jack, Jill and Eyeless Jack, she finds them really creepy and freakishly tall.
She can get jealous very easily.
She's pretty smart, because of all the years she's been dead, she learned a lot, and wanted to learn about all the stuff she missed in school.
She smells like a rotting corpse, so she's been collecting perfumes to make it less unbearable for people around her, but now she smells like really strong perfume.
Sally really likes current outfits, she'll steal a lot of kids clothes and wear them until it's completely worn out.
Her friends knew about the abuse, though they never find out about everything.
Sadie and Roadwalker try to get her into a routine and do the things she used too, but Sally finds no point.
Sally used to hate lightning and thunderstorms, though she has gotten used to them.
Still hates the dark, though and needs a nightlight.
She's gotten into books, she likes romance books.
She's stuck as a 12 year old, but if she was still alive she'd be 73.
Her favourite drink is Pepsi cola and she really likes spaghetti.
She loves fake tattoos and licking them off.
Sally loved baking with her parents.
She really likes Sadie and Roadwalker.
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sinisters-superior · 2 years ago
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Dark Iron strange Rp anybody?
I'm currently looking for rpers willing to play Sinister Strange . I have several plots in mind and I'd love to hear any ideas you have as well. I do double ups and have 4+years of experience rping so any timeline , including comicwise is up for option.
Info about me :
-Literacy : semi-lit, lit, novella
-Themes: 18+, mature, dark romance, fantasy, action, angst..(I'm up to mostly everything )
Plot ideas :
Ever since the death of   Tony Stark , Stephen hasn't been able to escape the nightmare plaguing him.  The man he loved was gone. Trapped in a fixed point in time, it drove the sorcerer to his breaking point. Turning to dark magic -  dream walking in a variant’s body but he was already a master of the mystic arts. Nothing else mattered now, even  as he scoured a new Earth, where the other Strange had been.  In his varient's body. A sense of hope came to him,  he was alive… but little did he know of how much bitterness and cruelty the man had become. All Sinister knew was he had to find him, despite the Scarlet  Witch's desires with the fallen hero. Tony was a being changed and created by  chaos magic, the very same she needed to get her children back.   But that didn't mean he'll stop now, not when the fate of being reunited with his beloved  remained  inches away. He was going to get him back no matter the cost  even if it meant getting rid of anyone in his path.
2.
For years before encountering the other male, Tony had lived in vain , always making the false image of himself  stand out against his group. The illuminati, now a distrustful rogue guided by power and corrupt morality though he wasn't seen that way by everyone. Deep down inside, he ached to not be alone. Broken and unloved as he had been ever since his universe's Pepper left him to be who he became now. A superior version of himself, extremis  tore and erased. That had been until the sorcerer gave up his title, defending the inhuman race  he had under his control. Everything was slipping out of his power… then..he met him…..Fighting the same demons…falling further into admiration for the other… feeling….himself again… but he was far from a happy ending....
Starter example :
Superior's pov:
Memories of those closest faded away, replaced by countless versions  that no longer held a meaning. New York City, once  his home  filled with life. While everything had been taken away in a flash. Pepper. Rhody . Morgan . stayed as stray thoughts. Tony  remembered feeling close to death, blood staining  now beautifully restored skin.  There was a  red flash of light in the sky, turning gold.  His body grew weak until everything darkened.
𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒏..
He whispered,seeing  familiar blue eyes being dimmed by a last breath leaving  the other's body. They lost,everyone. All the pain creeping back inside. 
When it stopped, a voice softly guided Tony's eyes open to a shadowed smile. No more pain, just the sound of mummers speaking. Warning against moving. He froze, tensing from the gaze.  
"  What did you do to me?!,...I'm supposed to be dead, I saw you die  Stephen.  .... We lost everybody" The words seemed to come out croaky , reflecting the  resistance his mind kept going against. Heart thumping faster, in the new breath. Suddenly, he heard the sound of people's voices confront him.  It felt real enough. Though the brunette stop speaking as the reality around him tore away. Revealing nothing more than a isolated enclosed room, looking down he saw his hands binded by  glowing red magic, that grew thicker when he tried moving.  Cautiously watching and sensing the darker aura . It couldn't be a nightmare,   Tony looked  into the eyes of the  talking  people, seeing from the clear  barriered cell his reflection. He saw a cold replace the warmth against his skin like an illusion. Silver metal stripped of all red and gold. The suit felt alive and his eyes dangerously met their own. "Don't think your little trick is working. I can see clearly  where I am"
Stephen's pov:
Stephen Strange  
-   Earth 838-
It was as though the entire world around Stephen went blank. Choking and strangling him with an imaginary pull forcing in new voices. Voices he  knew were the damned. They surrounded each breath he  took. Controlling each movement. Reminding the Supreme harshly that this wasn't his body anymore.  
What he'd never admitted to himself about Tony's death. Had been how much he cared. How he regretted his choice to sacrifice  a life. Without having any meaning at all.  The  man,  another variant loved in the unknown universes. 
Too late..  too late One demon spoke  in whispers.  Losing all feeling  again, the phantom hands drag him down.. down into the darkness he knew would be impossible to escape.
 NO, no, Yells turned into faint mummers, rawing his throat as he tried finding  anyone. Anything  to stop the nightmare .     
If your interested feel free to shoot me a pm on Discord
my discord is :∆°Tony°∆#9730
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daddysbarrp · 2 years ago
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World AIDS Day
This World AIDS Day remember -
There is a whole queer generation missing because of inaction. People were dying in such high rates that it was a militant but commonplace thing to say - Don't bury me, throw my body on the steps of the FDA.
In my lifetime, the AIDS quilt was created, crafted, and displayed not just in Washington DC but around the country and at least somewhat around the world (if memory serves).
Originally, AIDS was called GRID and was seen as God's 'judgement' against gay people, which, along with then Pres Ronnie Reagan and his ghoul of a wife Nancy, was the reason it took so long to get a handle on it and come up with things like AZT found in Rent.
It's also the reason the Reagan's closeted gay friend and famous actor Rock Hudson died, because they refused to help him get into trial testing for something that could've saved his life.
Before AIDS, queerness wasn't normalized by any stretch but we were moving towards it.
The Golden Girls episode about AIDS was one that was a pattern of sitcom tv like the Golden Girls teaching people how to respond to queer people and 'our issues' back in the day. The same goes for the Designing Women episode "Killing All The Right People" which - I will remind you as an old queen - was a slogan being disseminated against gay men especially at the time (it was thought lesbians couldn't get AIDS and they were practically invisible to the media anyways) - and was one of the first times a show had addressed that it was okay to even touch people with HIV. In the episode, a queer man orphaned by his family asks the Designing Women to literally design his New Orleans styled funeral WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WAS GONNA DO IT. SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WAS GAY. Princess Diana was hated by the royal family for her outreach work period but specifically she was one of the few celebrities that would even touch HIV positive people. Her quote about "giving them a hug, God knows they need it" was in response to an educational push she made to teach people to have kindness or at least tolerance. World AIDS Day might seem like a thing of the past but when our bars are fire bombed, our online actions are silenced by algorithms, sex work is shunned or simplified, and the simple act of being gay could get you cut off from your partner in a Catholic run hospital or get you fired/kicked out of your apartment in some American states still (and beyond that, there are still states where having HIV makes you inhirable for work- it's a thing called transmission something or other - I can't remember the exact title) - World AIDS Day is not some holiday of the past.
It's very present. I'm nearly of the generation now removed from the generation we lost to AIDS. If you need more pop culture context, Angels in America is important. Rent. Pedro from the Real World. And the Band Played On the book. Normal Heart the play. Ellen Greene's interview for the Little Shop revival where she talks about attending funerals DAILY while working on Broadway. Friends would just disappear. Even Pose, as much as I hate Ryan Murphy, is an important tool in remembering the ballroom scene and AIDS. When were you last tested? When were your partners last tested? When did you last confront that reality that the AIDS scare is the reason gay men can't donate blood in America? What are you doing to honor those in your life today that should be honored, remembered, and fought for?
Also, I'm pretty emotional about the day, so excuse any facts I may have gotten a little wrong or not expounded on more. This post is getting longer than I intended with each rewrite.
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igenuinelywannagohome · 4 months ago
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so
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toxic yuri
lore dump under the cut :P
SO.
Ceana is kinda main focus OC. Big deal. Trauma baby. IXION dies right after they get introduced to the dang plot. BUT. ALAS. ANYWAYS LORE-
Ceana: Previously an animatronic from an aquarium that copied Faz Co. tech, Ceana kinda got snatched after her aquarium exploded due to a gas leak. Someone found their remains, and Faz Co. took the opportunity real quick. But, because of the fact Ceana had faced such severe damage mixed with the lack of will to give over backup memory chips, their coding was severely damaged. This ensued issues like lack of speech, inability to count, and illiteracy. This didn’t render them stupid, though. Quickly, they adapted to their struggles and pieced together their past, managing to revert themself on their own. Through this struggle, they meet the squad, do some lore stuff which they really didn’t want to deal with, and got thrown up on by a kid. The vomit killed their fish. Oopsies. After shenanigans ensue, SPECIFICALLY AFTER and/or around Eclipse’s second death, IXION arrived. IXION, a major antagonist in THEIR story (not interfering with other lore problems) had given them love and respect which they desperately craved, sending them into a false sense of security. (AKA: toxic yuri begins.) It took a lot of talking. A LOT of talking. And eventually the way they found out they were being used and abused was on a Sunday night watching Finding Nemo with Earth while they painted each other’s nails. IXION, enraged by Ceana’s sudden rebellion, made a plan to kill them. The plan had been to input a detrimental virus into their coding, which was already fragile, and have it eat them alive to turn them into, as seen in the smaller picture next to their character: a murderous cannibal. They were given no mind, no thoughts, no feelings. The virus was to delete all memories and possible emotions and bias towards others. The only way to ‘revert them to normal’ or ‘end their suffering’ was to permanently dismantle them. This backfired, and IXION, whom had been the root of the virus (explained in their lore) was torn to shreds by Ceana the moment the virus rooted into their systems. As the virus lessened in strength, Ceana’s last memories of IXION is her torn off hand holding her cheek, claiming that ‘she loved them’ and they were a ‘monster’ for their actions. This…stuck with Ceana. The overload in emotion mixed with the dwindling virus managed to have it morph into something entirely different: a protection code. Now, when children, family, friends, or even strangers are presented with violence, Ceana loses it and makes sure to ‘detain the assaulter’. (This is tearing them apart limb from limb and making sure their body is an unrecognizable pile of mush). This has caused various problems, but since Faz Co. had assumed their code was done for, they never became a certified animatronic. In the eyes of law, they are just an automaton gone rogue. The biggest downside to this ‘protection code’ though, is that Ceana fails to remember the events of what happen when it takes over. So seeing IXION call them a monster as they regain consciousness and the faces of fear people display once watching them detain a person had always haunted them.
Fun facts:
Ceana has a detachable fish tank for their middle abdomen
Inside of said fish tank they used to have two fish named Strawberry and Shortcake.
Shortcake survived the explosion, Strawberry did not.
An odd obsession with sharks.
Ceana was originally supposed to be a ‘female designed animatronic’, but went through the fboy boy treatment and decided that no thanks!!! (they/them)
Ceana is insecure about their odd paint job. They find it odd and ugly.
Ceana can play the ukulele.
Their hands can project ocean scenery onto walls.
Tall. About 10’4.
They have vocal stims. Meowing, beeping, and specific song notes that sound nice to the tongue.
They’e made entirely from glass, apart from their endoskeleton.
IXION ripped their eye out when they were infected with the virus.
No one knows they killed IXION (until they collapse from the guilt)
Ceana is good at glass sculpting, being able to quite literally meld themself back together.
I’m gonna write IXION’s part later my brain no like word
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crankynewt · 4 years ago
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Life Could Be a Dream - Chapter 2
Live in Living Colour Series Masterlist
Masterlist
Summary: (Y/N) slowly begins to remember their life with “Pietro” before WestView as they move through the decades, but sometimes knowledge is a curse rather than a blessing.
Pairing: Pietro (Peter) Maximoff x Reader
Word Count: 1.3k
Warning: WandaVision Episode 6 spoilers! Read at your own risk!
Author’s Note: Here’s the highly requested second part to Be Okay! You don’t have to read it to understand this story, but it does fill in the gap during the 80s episode and give a little more context into the reader’s mind. Also, the reader’s powers and Halloween costume are highly based off of Starlight from the boys even though I did my best to make it gender neutral, but that’s what I kinda envisioned!
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(Not My Gif!)
Your hips swayed as you danced around the kitchen, the sound of The Chords’ “Life Could Be a Dream” filled the room from the record player in the corner your beloved vinyl was spinning on. Chopping pineapple for the jell-o in the bundt mold beside you, you hummed along to the familiar tune as your feet shuffled back and forth on the checkered floor.
A whooshing sound and light breeze behind you tore your attention away from the task at hand. Turning around quickly, you were met with the smiling face of your loving boyfriend, relaxing in a chair with his feet propped up against the kitchen table. His dark jeans were complimented by a letterman jacket adorning his shoulders, his shades of grey complimenting your own and those surrounding the both of you.
“My partner and their impeccable taste in music.” He smirked, arms crossed behind his head.
“My boyfriend and his faster-than-a-bullet superspeed.” You retorted, shuffling over to your man and giving him a playful smack on the leg. “Feet off the table! We’ve gotta eat here in a few hours!”
Pietro whooshed once again, this time with one hand in your waist while the other held yours, finally slowing down enough to gently rock you to the music. Life really could be a dream, and you were experiencing it first-hand.
“What is happening? Where did this come from?!” Agent Woo asked, watching the dancing couple sway as a hexagon framed the image and the words ‘Pietro(Y/N)’ shone across the screen.
“I don’t know! When Wanda recast Pietro an extra broadcast started from inside the hex and this is what the channel’s playing.” Darcy explained, taking a sip of her long awaited coffee as the end credits began to roll. “She must have somehow created another storyline for them.”
“But, wait… Didn’t somebody say that (Y/L/N) went missing before the blip?” Monica commented, pointing at your smiling face on the screen.
“Last I heard was that they got beamed up on that spaceship in New York with Spider-Man and Doctor Strange, but nobody’s seen them since.” Jimmy added, crossing his arms with a furrowed brow.
“Well wherever they were, they’re back in action.”
You woke up with a gasp, shooting straight up as a cold sweat adorned your body. Your nightmare had been something that you couldn’t believe your mind had imagined, it was so real, so dark… 
You had been on a strange planet surrounded by shades or orange and red, weirdly dressed people fighting all around you. At the centre of it all was this purple giant, a metallic glove adorning his hand as he fought the group of you away. 
Before you knew what you were doing you were rushing towards him, hand raised as a tingling feeling ran down your arm while golden light formed around your hand. But your attack was to no avail as with a clench of his fist the giant had opened a red hole in front of you and you began free falling.
“What? What is it?” Pietro grumbled, slowly waking up at your sudden outburst. He sat up as well, rubbing his hand on your lower back soothingly. 
“It was just a dream, babe.” You brushed it off, turning to face Pietro and leaning closer towards him. His eyes still held worry and a bit of disbelief as you played it off, but rather than argue, he just held you close as the two of you laid back down until sleep took it’s hold once more. 
“How much longer ‘till he calls?” Darcy whined, spinning in her chair as the boredom of watching reruns overtook her. You and Peter had just finished your ‘80s episode, meaning that the two of you had just reunited with Wanda and Vision.
“Don’t worry, he’ll call.” Monica replied, and as if on cue the name ‘Jimmy Woo’ was flashing upon her phone screen. She was quick to answer and eagerly pressed the device to her ear. “Woo? What’d your guy say?”
“Scott said that (Y/N) hasn’t been seen since they were on a planet called Titan fighting Thanos. Stark apparently told him that they got tossed in some hole he opened and they couldn’t get them back.” Jimmy explained, the sound of a car moving filling the background as he was already on his way back from talking to Lang.
“You don’t think that he sent her to wherever this new Pietro came from, do you?” Monica responded, Darcy shrugging her shoulders in response.
“I mean, it’s well within the realm of possibilities?” 
“What are you boys doing?” You called from the bottom of the stairs to where Pietro and the twins were playing some video game on the tv, laughing and shouting as they shot at each other. “Piet, why aren’t you in your costume?”
Your boyfriend finally turned to face you and your Halloween costume had his jaw quite literally dropping. You adorned a white costume with a golden star and accents on the front, meanwhile your cape was white with countless smaller stars decorating it’s entirety.
“Wow! Babe, you look… Wow!” He ogled, speeding over to you as his eyes took in your costumed appearance. He ignored your question, Wanda having to bug her brother once more for him to drag Tommy with him to make their matching Quicksilver costumes, their hair slicked up on the sides in an odd way.
Before you knew it the five of you were making your way down the street bustling with costumed kids. Pietro and Wanda were a couple steps ahead of you with the twins, you making the decision to take a minute to appreciate your domestic life while the siblings caught up.
“Unleash hell, demon spawn!” Pietro yelled as the twins went running off to fill their buckets with candy. You weren’t trying to eavesdrop, however you weren’t very far behind them and neither twin was making any effort to speak quietly.
“Do you remember when we were at the orphanage when mom and dad died?” She asked, the duo stopping to talk to each other in the middle of the busy road. While you didn’t intend to stop yourself, the sudden confusion that struck your mind left you no other choice.
Orphanage? Why would Peter have ever been in an orphanage when both his parents were still alive?  Wait, Peter? Where was all this coming from?
Suddenly your life was quite literally flashing before your eyes. Getting your powers, joining the Avengers, falling through the portal to another reality, meeting the X-Men… Oh, and Peter. Your relationship with Peter came back in moments, from your first meeting to the day he kissed you after you almost died on a mission. And how could you ever have forgotten your wedding day?! 
“Peter?” You asked out loud. Whether you were calling out to the man who you now remember to be your husband or questioning the memories that you had just regained you weren’t sure.
Your sudden comment caused Peter/Pietro to scoff in disbelief and furrow his brows, meanwhile Wanda’s expression darkened as her eyes glared daggers into your head. 
“Did you just call me Peter?” He asked incredulously, but his face quickly softened as he saw the fear in your eyes. You were utterly dumbfounded, How did you get back here? Last thing you remembered was being at the school, then all of a sudden you were living in some sit-com town.
“Why doesn’t he remember me? Wanda, what have you done?” Your voice wavered, your gaze shifting from Peter to Wanda, who would have already murdered you if looks could kill.
“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Her eyes flashed red, meanwhile Peter was standing there as if everything around him was completely normal.
“I think you do. Don’t make me do this, Wanda.” Your eyes began glowing as well. There was no way this would be ending well.
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years ago
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Prompt: Wei Wuxian has achieved time travel! He's gonna fix so many broken things. Unfortunately, WWX has miscalculated a teensy tiny variable and instead of arriving in his original 15yo body in Lotus Pier, he's crash landed in MXY's tiny 7~8yo body at Mo Manor. But no problem, he can fix this if he can just find his real body. (Meanwhile, Yunmeng Jiang's head disciple is acting the wrong kind of childish, aka, Mo Xuanyu is having the weirdest day of his young life.)
Switcheroo - ao3
Mo Xuanyu thought that this Wei Wuxian person whose body he’d stolen must have been a really interesting person, mostly because he’d been here for three days so far and nobody’d noticed the switch yet.
Possibly it had to do with the fact that Mo Xuanyu still wasn’t exactly sure how he’d stolen the body – he’d just gone to sleep in the shed, same as always, and then he’d woken up in the softest bed he’d ever encountered in his life…no, softer than even his dreams! He’d thought it over and concluded that he must have died from cold out in the shed, turned into a fierce ghost out of resentment, grown powerful (somehow), then stolen some rich young master’s body when they weren’t paying close enough attention and, once he’d possessed the body, promptly lost all his memory of being a ghost.
It seemed like the only logical course of events.
He was very sorry about it, though. Wei Wuxian seemed like a nice, if very unusual person.
The first day, Mo Xuanyu had barely even noticed the body-switch, being quite so enamored of the soft bed he was in – he’d refused to get out of bed at all, declaring that he was going to lie in and sleep for a century or more, and the people who’d come to the door to get him didn’t beat him or anything over it, but rather just laughed or rolled their eyes and then left him to it. Luckily, at the time, he’d just assumed he was dead or something and proceeded to ignore everything in favor of napping.
He only acknowledged that he was alive later in the afternoon, when his stomach started growling – it seemed like a very unlikely thing for a dead man’s stomach to do.
Mo Xuanyu had by that point figured out that he wasn’t himself anymore, which was fine since he didn’t much like himself; he’d also figured out, through looking himself over, that he was old now. At least fifteen or sixteen, which was twice the age he last remembered himself being. That was fine, too, though: being older meant that he was stronger and faster and would be better able to handle it when people wanted to beat him or something. Most importantly, though, it meant he was old enough to enter the kitchen on his own!
Mo Xuanyu already knew that he wasn’t allowed to eat at the main table, being only the bastard son of the younger daughter, and the cook back at home was a fierce woman who didn’t allow anyone under the age of ten into her kitchen; as a result, he had to wait for his mother to bring him back some food, and it was always cold and not quite enough. Now, though, since he was older, he figured he might as well try to go to the kitchen and fill his belly that way.
Luckily, while his current body’s house was much bigger than the Mo house, all houses were generally built along the same lines, so it wasn’t hard to find the kitchen. Everyone there laughed when he showed up, even though he’d tried to be very quiet and sneak in and then screwed it up by tripping over his own feet – it seemed like everyone thought he was doing it on purpose to be funny – and then the cooks gave him a meal of his own that was hot and fresh and wonderful.
He'd wolfed it down.
“Honestly, Wei Wuxian, you eat like a hungry ghost, you’d think the Jiang clan starves you,” one of them scolded him, but with a smile, and from that Mo Xuanyu learned that the rich young master was called Wei Wuxian and that he lived with the Jiang clan. The different surnames confused him a little, but he didn’t dare ask any questions about it, so he just stuffed his mouth and pretended that was the reason he couldn’t answer.
No one questioned it.
No one questioned it when he went wandering all around instead of doing whatever chores or duties he’d been assigned, either. Someone had actually seen him hovering by a door and asked him to bring back a pheasant when he returned, so out of lack of better options he’d headed outside to try to go find one.
He had a pretty good time walking around the forest, then remembered what he’d been asked and chased the pheasants for a while, without success . Fortunately, he then got lucky and stumbled over an old snare that had three pheasants caught inside, so he’d picked up the whole box and carted it back home.
“Three,” one of the boys in purple-blue marveled as he saw Mo Xuanyu walking towards the kitchen. “You know, people say that the birds around the Lotus Pier have gotten too smart to be caught easily, but look at our da-shixiong; he makes it look easy!”
From this, Mo Xuanyu could figure out that Wei Wuxian was (apparently!) part of a cultivator clan, apparently located at a place called the Lotus Pier, and that he was the oldest or at least head disciple, to boot. He knew all about cultivator clans from his mother, since apparently his father had been a sect leader, and that meant he knew enough to call the other boy ‘shidi’ as he passed, making the other boy beam happily.
It also meant that when he chanced a guess and called the young woman in a pretty pink dress who waved at him ‘shijie’, she smiled and nodded, which meant to him that he’d done the right thing.
“I heard you slept even more of the morning away than usual,” she told him, but didn’t seem too upset about it. “I bet that means you’ll be skipping dinner and staying up all night, hmm?”
Mo Xuanyu had no intention of skipping dinner if it was anything like what the kitchens had given him earlier, actually, but while he was still trying to figure out a way to say that, she said, leaning in close to whisper, “It’s probably a good idea, anyway – Mother and Father are fighting again. Just go to the kitchens to grab something…I promise I’ll make it up to you with some soup tomorrow, pork ribs and lotus roots, your favorite. All right?”
“Shijie, you’re the best,” Mo Xuanyu said effusively, willing to die for her at once, and she laughed and tousled his hair.
“I am,” she said, looking happy. “And if my little A-Xian stays good and obedient, I may even feed him.”
She did, too, the next day when he finally tore himself out of the beautiful wonderful soft bed and went to go find her. She’d made him soup, just as he’d promised, and laughed and laughed for some reason: apparently, she interpreted him being quiet and not talking too much as his efforts to be ‘good and obedient’, which was apparently so out of the ordinary as to be a deliberate joke.
From this, Mo Xuanyu concluded that the young master he’d possessed, Wei Wuxian, was a jackass.
Well, perhaps that was a bit harsh. Arrogant and self-centered, talented and brave and probably brilliant, definitely charming and maybe even kind, but also spoiled and inclined to step on other people to get where he wanted to go, if Mo Xuanyu had to guess – why else would everyone constantly react as if him not being obnoxious was the world’s biggest stunt?
No one seemed to expect anything of him at all: he didn’t do any chores, and no one batted an eyelid; he didn’t go where he was told, and everyone just sighed…at one point the sect leader himself came and patted him on the head, scolding him in a joking tone that he hadn’t seen him leading any of the training the way he was supposed to – but when Mo Xuanyu quailed, he’d burst out laughing, telling ‘Wei Wuxian’ to stop pretending to be a scared little rabbit, that it was fine if he’d gotten distracted by some clever new invention or whatever, that someone else would handle it, that he should take as long as he needed.
Mo Xuanyu had pasted a great big smile on his face through force of effort and agreed cheerfully.
The sect leader had accepted it.
Probably a jackass, but clearly a beloved one, Mo Xuanyu thought to himself as he packed up clothing and a few small treasures that no one would miss, a little wistful. The scare of the whole encounter had put things in perspective – he wasn’t going to be able to keep up this sort of façade for long. In fact, he was shocked he’d managed it so long already; surely, no matter how many pranks this Wei Wuxian played, no matter how childishly he behaved, surely someone should’ve noticed that he was actually an eight-year-old masquerading as a sixteen-year-old?
Mo Xuanyu couldn’t decide whether it was sad that no one paid too much attention or something that this Wei Wuxian fellow had brought down on his own head by being so consistently annoying.
Either way, there was nothing for it – he was going to have to leave.
Now that part was really sad: he’d never in his life had such good food, or such a soft bed, or even so many people that just seemed plain old happy to see him as since he’d arrived in this place. But he wasn’t the one all those things were for; he was just a sad ghost possessing a person, and if he stayed, the cultivators would eventually figure out something was wrong and exorcise him.
Probably violently.
Mo Xuanyu probably deserved it, too, but despite that he wasn’t willing.
So he packed up what he could and headed out.
He got all the way to the gate before a new purple-clad disciple – about his age, if he had to guess, and holding a pack like he’d just come back from a trip, with a scowl on his face – called out for Wei Wuxian.
Mo Xuanyu waved a little, hoping that that would be enough.
For the first time, it wasn’t.
The boy’s face settled into an even deeper scowl.
“Hey, what’s wrong with you?” he demanded. “Wei Wuxian! You’re acting all weird – hey! Where are you going?”
Mo Xuanyu was running away, obviously. He wasn’t about to get tied up and exorcised, no thank you.
He didn’t think he’d make it, but it was still worth trying.
Sure enough, the purple-clad boy who was probably called Jiang Cheng, based on what everyone was calling out as they ran by, got tired of running and jumped on his sword, and there was no way Mo Xuanyu would be able to outrun a sword, not even if he tried as fast as he –
Someone picked him up.
It wasn’t Jiang Cheng.
Mo Xuanyu turned his head and stared.
It must be some sort of yao, he thought. Humans were definitely not that pretty.
“Lan Wangji!” Jiang Cheng howled. “What are you even doing in the Lotus Pier?! Put my shixiong down!”
The rescuer, Lan Wangji, frowned a little at Mo Xuanyu.
Mo Xuanyu didn’t know exactly what expression he ought to be making in return, and was a bit too dazed to even dare to guess. He’d just noticed that they were flying – flying! on a sword! – and he was clutching onto this Lan Wangji’s shoulders for dear life.
“You are not Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said. His voice sounded very definitive.
“Uh,” Mo Xuanyu said. “Sorry? Please don’t drop me.”
“I will not. What is your name?”
“Mo Xuanyu,” Mo Xuanyu admitted, and Lan Wangji’s eyes widened as if that meant something to him – except it couldn’t, of course, because Mo Xuanyu was sure he’d never met anyone even remotely like this Lan Wangji fellow in his life. “I don’t remember taking his body. I’m sorry. Can you not exorcise me? I don’t want to die.”
Lan Wangji was silent for a long moment.
He was still flying very fast, and Jiang Cheng was still following, shouting out curses and demands that he stop, not that Lan Wangji was listening.
“There will be no exorcism,” he finally said, and Mo Xuanyu exhaled in relief. “We will, however, fix this.”
“…we?”
“Wei Ying and myself.”
Mo Xuanyu nodded. That sounded more likely than anyone relying on his participation.
“Where are we going?” he asked. Jiang Cheng was falling further and further behind.
“Mo Village.”
Mo Xuanyu tensed up at once.
“You will not be left there,” Lan Wangji clarified, and – how did he know that Mo Xuanyu didn’t want to be left there? “But we must collect Wei Ying, who I suspect is currently in your body.”
“In my…I’m still alive?”
Lan Wangji was quiet again, and then said, “Yes. And you will remain so.”
That was reassuring, mostly.
“Okay,” Mo Xuanyu said, and found that he mostly felt relieved. He’d be very happy to have his normal body back again, if possible, especially if he didn’t have to stay in Mo Village…“Wait, if I don’t have to stay there, where will I go? I don’t have anywhere else to go, unless my father comes back for me. He's a sect leader –”
“He will not, and even if he did, you should not go with him. Once Wei Ying returns to his body, you will be able to stay at the Lotus Pier. If you do not wish to stay there, I will bring you back to the Cloud Recesses – that is my home – instead.”
“Oh,” Mo Xuanyu said, feeling bewildered. That was an awfully nice offer, even if Lan Wangji was feeling guilty about Wei Wuxian stealing his body by accident – which seemed like what had happened here rather than Mo Xuanyu being the one who did the stealing. Maybe he should go with Lan Wangji instead, he seemed much more responsible than Wei Wuxian was, rushing over to rescue him and explain things instead of throwing him into a body and leaving him all alone in a strange place. But on the other hand… “Is the Cloud Recesses…I mean…no offense, but…does it have…”
“Yes?”
“Does it have soft beds, too? And – and hot food?”
Mo Xuanyu didn’t need much, not really. He looked eagerly at Lan Wangji, who had an odd expression on his face briefly before wiping it back to neutral and nodding in confirmation.
“Okay,” Mo Xuanyu said, and curled up in Lan Wangji’s arms. “Then I’ll stay with you. You can take care of me.”
“I will,” Lan Wangji said, sounding strangely serious. “In return for the gift you last gave me – I will.”
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missluckycharms · 3 years ago
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What is grief, if not love persevering?
Anon asked: heyyy! i love your writing sm💕 can you write angst please? make it hurt☹
Masterlist.
Summary: in which Harry is a single Dad due to losing his wife five years ago just shortly after their little love was born. Y/N has been there through it all. Harry has a rough night filled with whiskey and tears for his late wife.
A/N: this one is full of Angst and light hearted jokes to not get you too sad … sorry in advance, it’s a real tear jerker. Enjoy!!
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, talks of alcohol and drug abuse, talks of depression and very low mental health, curse words.
Five years.
It’s been five years since the passing of Myla Styles, the woman who granted Harry a wish he always wanted, the woman who loved him beyond all the galaxies and the woman who never saw any wrong in anyone, not even the worst of people, she always used to say “deep down, their heart is just aching” and Harry always admired that about her, she always looked on the positive side of life.
She held that same attitude as he held her hand in the hospital room, her fragile and pale body laying on the white bed as she peered up at him, oxygen tube in her nostrils and too many machines to count hooked up to her body, she was a shell of a woman, but she still had a heart of gold, the same hear Harry fell in love with when they were sixteen years of age. He hated seeing her this way, especially when their nearly one week old baby was resting in his other arm, fast asleep as her Mum clung to every bit of life she had left, but not once did her smile fade.
It all happened so fast, one day she was pushing life into the world and eight days later her life was being taken out of this world. There was complications with birth, the doctors and nurses finding undiagnosed ovarian cancer in her ovaries when they had to send her in for an emergency c section. Myla confessed she felt off, her body didn’t feel right, but she knew if something was seriously wrong, she wouldn’t risk the life of her baby getting treatment, she would rather her baby live over her. Doctors and nurses tried their best, trying to refer her to new hospitals to get stronger chemo if she wanted, but Myla refused, she told them to let her go, she was tired and she couldn’t stick around long enough to see if these treatments would work — she knew she was dying but Harry refused to believe it.
The day she left, was the day Harry felt like his whole world stopped, like the curtains were shut and he was left in a dark room with no way out. He promised Myla he would do his best to take care of their love, who they named Honey. He was dealing with the loss, Honey taking his mind off it a little and giving him reasons to pull himself from bed even on the days when he wanted to lay around and wallow in his own darkness — she pulled him out of those days, but two months later it all came crashing down on top of him.
He slipped into a wrong mind set, immediately knowing that Honey had to be taken away from him because he was living in fear he would hurt her, one day he woke up and he looked at her and just cried, he held her and he felt nothing, he didn’t even sympathise with her when she would cry for food, he felt nothing towards Honey and this scared him, terribly. Anne, his Mum took Honey in, letting Harry to relax and blow off some steam and get some help, his and Myla’s family all agreeing and saying he needed help and it wasn’t something to be ashamed about — he just lost his wife, they can’t lose him either.
Harry took the wrong route of clearing his mind and getting help, he found his therapy at the end of a bottle and a line of cocaine. He slipped into an endless spiral of week long benders and debts for drug money along with risking losing his home due to him quitting his high up job at his Fathers Law firm, he completely crashed and burned, he couldn’t live without her, he couldn’t stop his mind racing and the only way for it all to stop, and let him feel numb — was when he was drunk and high, passing out in every room of his home and in his garden, the neighbours finding him sometimes in their yard in a mess. They were the ones who got him help, they called up his family and they all rushed him off in an ambulance to get him sober and conscious again. Here is where he made the decision to sign himself into rehab, accepting the help the hospital offered and a few months later, he was out and clean, he stayed with his Mum until Honey turned one and that was the year Harry found his smile again, found his life and purpose again.
Looking back now, he doesn’t know how he ever made himself believe it was Honeys fault Myla was no longer here, he doesn’t know how he’s even alive because of all the drugs and alcohol he ingested every single night for three months solid, but he knows why everything turned around, it was his Angel looking down on him, guiding him and kicking him in the ass to get up and look after their little love, just like she asked him to do before she left, always look after himself and Honey.
It’s been five years since her passing, Harry is doing better than ever, he started working for his Dad’s company again and now he’s the president of the law firm, alongside his Dad who is the CEO, Harry being second in command and then being the CEO when his Dad retires from the firm. They kept their family home, even if it was just the two of them, they loved the home and it still felt like Myla was living here, her makeup still tucked away in her unused vanity in Harrys bedroom and her favourite paintings still hung up around the home. Harry even hired a nanny, she has been working for him for two years now, she’s even working alongside Harry in his office being his receptionist during the day and she’s Honeys afternoon and night nanny when she’s done in work and Honey is home from school.
Y/N is Honeys nanny, she takes care of the little lady and feeds her daily, even taking her to the playground and to the movies when Honey asked her could she go. She would do anything for Honey and Honey loved her endlessly, she loved the way she would allow her to eat sneaky chocolate bars after dinner every now and then and how she would always play dollies with her, kneeling down on the floor of the den and playing with the small girl until they were both in fits of laughter. Harry also adored Y/N, her passion for her job at the law firm along with her passion for looking after Honey is something he admires, she never once complains about being exhausted even though he can tell when she is, she didn’t have to think twice when Harry offered her the job as Honeys nanny, she knew the little one from her being in the office every now and then, and Honey was instantly drawn to her, the way she was so kind and the way she cared for Honey.
Tonight is a hard night for Harry, it’s Myla’s death anniversary and he’s been having a bad day, his mind racing and his heart breaking all over again, but this time he’s stronger, he’s able to power through until he could be alone and just let his emotions go, have a glass of whiskey and just cry a little flipping through old photo albums — he does this every year on her anniversary. Honey is tucked up in bed and he’s sat alone in the den on the sofa, the photo albums on his lap and his hand clutching a small glass of whiskey as he sips on it flipping through many photos from their wedding and from when they were teens and drunk in love in high school — so many memories can be attached to one person, and Harry knew one day they would be memories, but he didn’t know it would be so soon.
“Honey is fast asleep, left her door cracked open so she can shout if she- Harry? Are you okay?” Y/N stops suddenly, her eyes landing on her boss who was hunched over a photo album on the sofa, curtains drawn and the only light coming from a lamp beside a framed wedding photo of him and Myla on the table by the sofa.
“Yeah, thanks for putting her to sleep” Harry says weakly, not turning around which alarms Y/N, she’s seen him like this last year, she let him be as she was only new to it, but this year she’s determined to sit with him all night if he needs — he needs to have some company.
“That’s you?” She asks sitting next to him, Harry not moving or telling her to leave, he accepts her company as she looks down at the photo his eyes are laid upon — two teenagers at a party.
“Yeah, m’hair was a curly mess” he says with a low laugh, looking over the photo of a seventeen year old version of himself, smiling cheekily clutching a red solo cup and Myla wrapped under his other arm holding him around his waist, both their smiles wide and cheeky and their cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol in their bodies.
“I think it looks cute, pitty it’s not as curly now” she says with a light laugh, watching as his ring clad fingers turn the page, taking a sip from his whiskey as he goes.
“This was our prom, she made me wear a pink fucking bow tie — absolutely hated it” he laughs, the crinkles by his eyes evident as Y/N laughs along, looking down at the curly headed teenager in a black suit, white shirt and a bright pink bow tie, matching Myla’s floor length dress next to him, a shawl over her shoulders matching as the corsage around her wrist match the pink of her dress also.
“She hated that dress a year later, she was packing up for college and I was helping her when she found it, immediately burst out laughing” he says laughing loudly, remembering back at the memory he has, Y/N beside him happy at how joyful he sounds speaking of the memories.
“Oh here we go, Frat boy Harry!” Y/N says with a loud laugh, pointing down at a shirtless twenty year old Harry, backwards cap on his head and “Myla’s Bitch!” Wrote on his stomach in paint, two beer bottles in his hands and Myla on his shoulders cheering with her hands up in a red bikini, matching his swimming trunks and baseball cap.
“Some of the best years of m’life, raging parties and no more curfews, we were two hormonal teens absolutely smitten for one another” he says shaking his head with a laugh, his eyes bright as he flicks them over the photos ranging from Harry dancing, Myla being pushed into the pool by him and Harry passed out with a mustache drawn on him with Myla next to him holding the marker with a bright smile mid laughter.
The book is filled with their college days, to their graduation day from college, their photo in their first apartment, Harry on his first day of work and Myla on hers. They took photos of small things, but at the time they meant the world to them, they were milestones in their lives and they never wanted to forget them. Harry is forever grateful that Myla had an obsession with photography, otherwise he wouldn’t have these to look back on and hopefully show Honey one day what her Mum was like, even if she’s drunk and half naked in some of them at college parties.
Harry and Y/N are in fits of laughter, tears falling from their faces as Harry explains every single memory behind each photo, one photo containing a memory of Myla at her bachelorette party, Harry coming out as a stripper and giving her a lap dance as she slaps his ass and throws money all over her husband — that one will definitely not be shown to Honey. Harry is like a whole different person when he speaks about her, his laugh becomes louder and his eyes become brighter, he even ditched his whiskey after one glass to speak about his late wife, Y/N looking at him with pure amazement and proudness of how far he’s come, how he pulled himself from a hard time and carried on life for the sake of his baby girl. He’s truly inspirational in her eyes.
“It should be easier than this by now, right? Like I shouldn’t be still grieving” he says when their laughs and stories come to a stop, their eyes hooded with sleep and faces hurting from laughing.
“What is grief, if not love persevering? You were both childhood sweethearts, you’ve loved her since you can remember and you always will, she’s your whole world, of course you’ll still grieve her, you still love her, and that’s okay” Y/N blurts out, her words quick as she blabs on while Harry watches her, a smile on his face as she explains and accepts his feelings.
“Never knew you were Shakespeare” is all he says, she rolls her eyes laughing, slapping his bicep a little as he shuts the album, tucking it away in the drawer again before turning his focus back onto Y/N beside him.
“Seriously though, never tell yourself you’ve been grieving for too long, it’s okay to grieve and cry yourself to sleep some nights, I get that, I do. You lost a person who made you who you are, but don’t forget, you still have a little one that will need you to be the person who makes her who she is”
Harry thinks she’s amazing, she’s smart and she’s so empathetic towards everyone and anyone. She has a heart of gold and she will never let anyone explain hers or anyone else’s feelings for them, she always allows people to express who they are, heck, one night she brought Harry to a gym after hours, explaining how her brother is a trainer there and he gave her the keys on the condition that she does his laundry for a month, she let Harry rage out and punch the shit out of a punching bag one night because he was so upset. She cheered him on and he was smiling as he was punching towards the end, she helped him release the emotions that built up and would of lead him back down a dark path.
She’s been an Angel sent from above, he knows Myla sent her to him because of how much they’re alike, Harry knows for sure they were sisters in a past life, their kind hearts and understanding natures alike but they have their differences, Myla was very out spoken and loved to party but Y/N is reserved and would rather stay inside with a hot chocolate and her crosswords while watching TV, but that’s another thing that Harry finds fascinating about her, she’s younger than him by eight years, when he was her age he was partying.
“Thank you Y/N, I needed this tonight” he says with a smile, her own smile on her face as she nods leaning over to rub her hand over his in a comforting manner, the pair looking at one another as they soak in their presences.
“It’s getting late, I should go” she says realising it’s nearly midnight, Harry and her need to be in work tomorrow morning and Harry has to wake up to get his little lady ready for school also. He gets a bit saddened when she says this, he secretly wants to hear more of her own college years and her own prom much like he told her earlier.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow” he says with a smile, watching as she gathers up her bag and throws it over her shoulder, car keys now in her hand as she smiles at him once more before heading for the den door. She pauses and looks back at him, his eyes meeting hers as they hold contact for a few seconds before she speaks up.
“See you tomorrow, Harry”
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letarasstuff · 4 years ago
Text
"I don't wanna leave you, Daddy"
(A/N): This was requested by an Anon and it's based on this concept. I hope you are ready for the feels.
Summary: Hotch's daughter is an introvert. A quiet one. But why does she go even quieter after her mother's death?
Warnings: So much hurt. Angst. Fluff. It's bitter sweet.
Wordcount: 2.3k
✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________
(Y/N) never really was an outgoing person. Even since she was able to walk and talk, she still clung to her parents. She refused to play on the playground when other children were there. Socializing was just not her thing. Her parents were sure that she would never be the person to stand up and perform on stage spontaneously. And it is ok.
This doesn’t really change when Jack comes around. Sure, as he grows older and more capable of things (Y/N) plays with him. But it really seems like he is the only one around her age she is not afraid to befriend.
Aaron and Haley reassure themselves that their daughter will find friends in elementary school. After all this is an institution where many children go to and there also are adults trained for helping them coming along. She definitely will find at least one other kid to hang out with regularly and learn how to be a proper child. Because as of right now (Y/N) is more like a little adult, taking responsibilities, like watching over her little brother, she doesn’t need to do voluntarily. Maybe she will be more messy, rebellious, anything but a perfect child.
But this doesn’t exactly happen. (Y/N)’s teachers are really happy with her. Every parent-teacher conference is about how well and polite she is, always behaving good and following the rules. Sadly, they don’t have any good news regarding her social life. It’s not that she doesn’t get along with her classmates, it’s just that she isn’t able to strike up a conversation or is very good at keeping one long enough that a kid is interested in her.
Knowing that (Y/N) is mostly quiet in her school days, Aaron makes it a habit to bring her more often to the office. She surprisingly warms quickly up to his team and whenever she is around them the girl is an unstoppable tornado running loose around the bullpen.
This is kind of how she grows up until the age of middle school. (Y/N) learns some social skills and makes a few friends over the last few years. Unfortunately these friendships are not as deep as the parents wish, still it’s better than nothing.
Things get difficult when Aaron and Haley start to separate. It never is easy when parents fall out of love and it is not only difficult for Jack to see his father not as often as he used to, considering he still is a toddler needing both parents. Especially (Y/N), who is more of a daddy’s girl than a mommy’s girl, suffers from the situation at home.
Of course it’s hard on her to not see her father for a week or two at a time, but ever since her parents are going on parted ways she sees him at most one weekend every three weeks. This also changes her social life dramastically.
“(Y/N), don’t you wanna do something with your friends? You can invite them over for the weekend”, Haley suggests after watching her daughter not going out with somebody outside of school for several days. For the past two weeks the ten year old just comes home, does her homework and puts her nose in one of the books her Uncle Spencer recommended.
The girl only looks up at her mother to shake her head. “Why not, Sweetie? I haven’t seen William and John in so long. Are you still friends with them?” (Y/N) nods again. “So what is it? Are you guys fighting?” Haley sits down next to her on her bed.
“No, they just-just don’t know about this. I don’t want to tell them. And I want to stay home. It’s ok how it is right now”, she admits. Her mother’s heart breaks at that statement.
In this moment she realizes that anything a parent does has immediate consequences for the children. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I didn’t know this is so hard for you. Maybe you can talk to them over the next few days about it, I think it’ll help you. Do you want to watch a film with me for now? Jack has a sleepover at a friend’s. We can do a girl’s night. We hadn’t had one in a long time.”
(Y/N)’s eyes light up at that. “With all the candy in the world?” Haley smiles at the newfound excitement. “Of course. Anything you want.”
From only seeing Aaron every now and then it suddenly turns to not knowing when she will see him next. After George Foyet ambushes him and makes his family into the next target, (Y/N), her brother and her mother have to go into witness protection.
The goodbye at the hospital is painful and filled with tears. “But Dad, I don’t want to leave you. I’ll miss you too much. I don’t like not seeing you. And what about you? You will be more lonely and-and I can’t leave you”, she confesses, sobbing into him.
Hotch has to hold his own tears back. He doesn’t want to come over as stoic, but as the strong father figure he always tries to be. “Honey, I know I’ll miss you so much. You have to be strong for your mother. This will not be easy and I know it. I promise to do my best to get all of you back as soon as possible, ok? Please be good for your mother and behave. We all need to work together for you to get back fast and safely.”
(Y/N) continues to cry into his hospital gown. Aaron can’t help it and dissolves in tears himself while trying to calm her down. “Shh, Honey. Everything will be fine. I’m so so sorry for all this. I never wanted something like this to happen. Shh, we will see each other real soon. The team and I will do our best. Just please, don’t cry. Please, it all will be better. I can’t let you go without seeing your beautiful laugh for one last time.”
“I don’t wanna leave you, Daddy. I-I wanna stay with you and Uncle Dave and Auntie JJ and Uncle Spencer and Uncle Der and Auntie Penny and Auntie Em. I’m scared you won’t be fine when we come back.”
It’s needless to say that nobody cracked even a smile that day.
Going into witness protection made Haley worry about Jack especially. He is just four years old and she isn’t sure how much he understands about what’s going on. Surprisingly the boy gets accustomed to the situation pretty fast. Of course he misses his father and his people from school, but he is also quick to meet new ones in the town they moved to.
(Y/N) has bigger problems. New school. New kids. New everything.
“Maybe you can see it as a fresh start. Here is nobody you know. You can be whoever you want to be. I can take you shopping and you can try out a new style”, her mother tries to make the situation sound advantageous to her. But the girl dryly answers: “When somebody doesn’t like me how I am now, how will they like an act?”
Sam Kassmeyer regularly reports back to Aaron about his family’s well being. “Jack is thriving. His teachers describe him as a bundle of joy. (Y/N) slowly gets acclimated to the change. Haley told me she started making friends with a girl in their neighborhood. I already ran a background check and the family is clean.”
Hotch lets out a sigh of relief. He turns towards the image on Penelope’s monitor. “Happy fifth birthday, Buddy.”
A few weeks after that it seems like the events overturn each other.
Foyet coming back. Kassmeyer getting tortured. Foyet finding Haley and the children. Them coming back to their house. The call. Working the case with Jack. The gunshot. The fighting noises. Hotch opening the box and hugging both of his children, relieved to see them alive.
The following weeks are difficult for the now smaller family. They mostly consist of watching videos of happy memories and talking about their feelings. Although it’s more like Jack talking about his feelings, (Y/N) went mostly silent ever since their mother’s death. This worries her father more than anything.
Two months have gone by. “Hey Honey, I’m going into the office today. Do you wanna come with me, stay at home or go to school? Anything is fine by me”, he asks her softly, kneeling beside her chair at the table. The girl is munching on her cereal halfheartedly.
“Can I come to the office?” (Y/N) asks in a hoarse voice. It’s actually the first time in four days that Aaron hears her voice. A small smile forms on his face. “Of course, that’s nice. Aunt Penny is asking me after her favorite Hotchner for days on end now. And Uncle Spencer got a stack of books he has for you to read.”
His daughter nods and quickly gets ready. They are soon on their way to Quantico after dropping Jack off at daycare. “How are your classmates? Do you like the new school?” They decided to send (Y/N) to a different school. She couldn’t bear the thought of only being the girl whose Mom died because of a serial killer.
“It’s fine. There are a few girls who are really nice. I think we can be friends. Mo-” She suddenly cuts herself off. Aaron glances over at her. “Continue, Sweetheart. Just tell me what’s on your mind”, he tries to encourage her.
The girl hesitates before following her father’s advice. “Mom would have liked them,” she mumbles. It’s quiet for a few seconds. Hotch is looking for a suitable answer. After all it’s the first time she talked about her mother since her death. “I’m sure of it, Honey. Maybe you can invite them over and I can get to know them. Think about it, no pressure of course.” (Y/N) nods to indicate that she heard him.
Not long later they enter the bullpen. “There she is! My little Hotchner! How you doing, Baby?” Derek asks her and envelopes her into a hug. But she only shrugs her shoulders. This goes on for the rest of the day. Whenever anyone talks to her, the only answer is given by her body language.
Hotch watches helplessly Spencer trying to engage in a conversation with her. His arms and hands are waving around. (Y/N) though just looks at him without being really there mentally. It seems like she is lost in her own thoughts, like it happened so often over the last few months.
“Have you tried talking to her about it?” Dave asks, sitting down on the chair opposite of him. Aaron looks at him funny. “Of course. But (Y/N) is just not ready to talk about Haley and everybody grieves differently. I can’t force her to speak, Dave.”
The older agent leans back in his seat. “I don’t think she needs to talk about her. This probably is too soon. She needs to talk about you. The changes.” After a short pause, in which the other one still doesn’t get the point, Rossi continues. “That little girl just lost her mother. She is scared to lose her father, the one with the high risk job. I think that is enough to talk about.”
This occupies the agent for the remainder of the day. Aaron was so invested in fulfilling both parent roles, that he forgot that he is just a father. The man his children go to when they have a nightmare. The one, who is more lenient than their mother. He can’t be both ones. He can’t be two people in one.
A kid trusts a mother and a father usually. And he can’t be mother and father at once. Hotch has to accept the fact. The fact that (Y/N) and Jack are going to grow up without a mother. But luckily not without mother figures.
Later that day, after tucking Jack in, Aaron knocks on his daughter’s door. A small “Come in!” echoes back to him. He enters her room and spots (Y/N) already in her bed reading a book Spencer gave her today.
“Hey, do you have time before it’s lights out?” He asks, still wanting to give her the upper hand on this. The girl nods and scoots over for her father to take a place. He lays next to her, pulling his daughter into a hug.
“I know I can’t promise it. Coming back to you every time. You know it as much as I do. But I promise you to try anything and everything in the books. You guys keep me going.” Tears roll over both of their faces.
“I-I just”, (Y/N) moves her head onto his chest to sob into it, “Just don’t wanna lose you, too. I-I don’t think I-I can’t be the girl, who doesn’t have a mother AND a father. C-can you stop that from happening?” Hotch has to wipe his eyes before answering.
“I-I try to keep that from happening, Honey. I promise.”
This is how they fall asleep, squished in a twin bed close to each other. In the morning they both are overheated and got a visitor during the night. Jack wakes them up, asking why they had a sleepover without him.
This morning is the first time Aaron sees (Y/N) smiles since day zero.
Taglist:
All works:
@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos
Criminal Minds:
@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962
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taestefully-in-luv · 4 years ago
Text
Always You | JJK (Five)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 12.1k
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?) sad oc, mentions of sex, kind of over the clothes action, drama, heated dance session lol, slight memory of sex, hair pulling, back scratching, mention of boner, second chances (?)
Notes: Okay, first of all THAT 1st TEASER PIC!!! DID WE SEE THAT? *chefs kiss*. Anyway thanks for comments you guys leave I really love reading them!!! Remember to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) have a great week everyone!
Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous --- Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May
Gloomy: The dictionary may describe it as hopeless and despairing but really it should just be a picture of your sad, sad face.
1 month…yes, one whole month has passed since you last spoke to Jungkook. No text, no calls, no random show ups, nothing. Gloom. Gloom. Gloom. Graduation came and gone so quickly…you walked the stage with your friends minus two but honestly you can hardly remember the event. You tried your hardest to be as excited as everyone else but the feeling of gloom stayed with you.
By the end of the month you finally started accepting he isn’t coming back and right around that time you actually heard from him—Jungkook that is. He sent you a pathetic text that he’s moving out and will be by to retrieve his things. More gloom.
The next couple weeks after that are a blur, you recall the sound of movers throughout your apartment. You didn’t have the courage to speak to him…you didn’t have the courage to even leave your room if you didn’t have to. You were so wrapped up in everything you didn’t even consider that fact that you will have to find a new roommate to cover the other half of the rent.
Every day just dragged on, every day a repeat of the last. Wake up, drown in black coffee, scroll mindlessly through your phone and work your full time job. You called in sick too many days already so you have to go or you’re at risk at getting fired. The same day, every day. The same gloomy fucking day.
Jimin tried to call or text every day to make sure you were like, alive. He apologized over and over for not telling you as soon as he found out about the Taehyung situation but he felt that if Taehyung was going to tell you then it is best it comes from him and not Jimin. You can understand that. He also frequently would show up at your apartment to surprise you but you rarely let him in. You did feel bad though, he’s just trying to be there for you.
Jimin 6:04pm
Please let me in?
Jimin 6:05pm
Well…I have some take out for you babe, ill leave it on the doorstep.
Jimin 6:05pm
Call me sometime ok? Love you
Guilt would consume your body but you just couldn’t deal with human contact right now.
June
Around month 2 you finally felt okay to see people again—your close people that is—aka Jimin was finally allowed in, he made you take a hot bath while he cleaned up for you and made you a proper meal. The amount of instant ramen containers lying around the place was by far one of the grossest things he’s seen. The shit that was growing…he shudders just thinking about it.
He would come over every day after work in the evenings. He left day time babysitting to Trina.
“Girl…all this over a boy?” she would constantly say.
You also tried applying for job after job, but the postgraduation life is harder than you thought…at least for you. Jimin landed a job as a kids choreographer, Trina starts up at one of the local elementary schools as a kindergartner teacher and you? You’re still working at the bakery down the street. You applied for many entry level positions in the marketing field but failed miserably in interviews…which only further discouraged you and worsened your mood.
It was also around this time you decided to finally delete Jungkook off all social media and block his number. You refuse to hear from him at this point…not that he was reaching out or anything. You wonder what he’s up to postgraduation? No, you don’t want to know or care. You considered hanging up a picture of his face on your wall so you could throw darts at it but you decided that was maybe on the crazy side. Taehyung sends you weekly texts, asking about how your day/week is going. He updates you on his life as well, apparently he got the curator assistant position at the museum that he wanted. You still feel hurt over everything but you are happy for him. It’s funny, you feel so betrayed over that but Jungkook is the cause of your gloom.
Every day just drags on, you feel heavy everywhere you go. Even when you’re just at home in bed.
By the end of the month your friends somehow convinced you to go on a date—a horrible date at that.
He was awkward as hell, a bad kisser and would lightly…tap your ass in attempt to be sexy. It was a disaster, you don’t even remember what the two of you even talked about at dinner. You just remember his tongue being horribly shoved down your throat and his weird ass tapping habit.
July
Then month 3 finally came around. A month where the weeks went by breathing became just a bit easier. Yes, any and everything still reminded you of Jungkook but it didn’t hurt as terribly as the previous months. By the end of the month you even agreed to your first real social outing. You are hesitant, but you agreed…
“I don’t know guys…a birthday party? We like, don’t even know the girl?” you frown, nibbling on the flesh of your bottom lip.
You are sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor, clothes piling all around you as you try to decide on what to wear.
“You need to get out babe…plus it’s a friend of a friend, so it’s cool.” Jimin says holding up a rose colored crop top, motioning for you to nod yes or no to his suggestion. You cock your head to the side, deciding what pants to go with it.
“I have to say I agree with Jimin, y/n.” your new roommate Holly chips in, “Since I’ve moved in I don’t think I’ve seen you go out even once.”
“Also a party is the best place to find some easy dick.” Of course that’s what Trina has to offer.
“Yes to the crop top Jimin.” You point your head towards the shirt, “Okay don’t have to call me out like that Holly.” You glare at your roomie, “And Trina, we both know I ain’t ready for no type of dick.”
“So we’re looking for some pussy tonight?” Trina smirks, “Nice.”
You rolls your eyes, a chuckle escaping your lips, “Shut up.” you throw a pair of shorts at her face.
“But seriously y/n…Maybe Trina is on to something…” Jimin sits down next to you, crossing his legs in front of him, “Maybe this is a good chance to like—”
“If you say move on I will literally kill you.” You cut in, “There’s nothing to move on from!” you throw your hands up dramatically. “Taehyung used me, Jungkook wants nothing to do with me. And—”
“Then why aren’t you ready for any type of dick?” Holly puts in her 2 fucking cents.
“Because I don’t want to be associated with any boys! Jimin is the exception.”
“Somehow I don’t feel flattered by that…” Jimin puts a hand on your shoulder.
“When’s the last time you got off?” Trina abruptly asks. You turn your head in shock at her shamelessness.
“Trina!”
“Answer her, I’m curious too.” Jimin squints at you trying not to laugh.
“It’s…” your eyes slide to the side, “It’s been a while.”
Trina shakes her in disapproval, “Damn girl, really? My fingers constantly playing DJ, you know what I’m sayin?” Trina goes in for a fist bump but you just push her hand away.
“You’re gross.” You laugh out loud, and it sounds like music to everyone’s ears.
“I’m just real babey.” She flicks her hair back with a proud smile on her face.
Having these 3 around has no doubt helped you deal with the loss you feel. You feel like you are still mourning the dead. How’s Jungkook even doing? You’re too afraid to ask Jimin. Too afraid that he’s doing amazing without you. He must of realized how much better off he is without you around and that makes you feel small.
“Fine…” you mutter under your breath…Jimin snaps his head to look at you, his sly smile growing as he watches you fiddle with a short mini skirt.
“Fine what?” Trina asks with a smirk.
“Let’s find me some dick tonight.”
“Hell fucking yeah.” Jimin claps his hands together, “Tonight is about you!”
“y/n makes her debut tonight! She’s hot, she’s single and she is ready to mingle!”
You can’t help but giggle, your hands bunching up the material of the mini skirt as you look down at it, making your decision.
“Let me get ready and we can get this night started!” you rush to your feet, all the sudden feeling excited for tonight. You are going to actually do your hair and your makeup—you even shaved. You are definitely breathing easier tonight and you have to take advantage of that!
“Let’s do shots as we wait girlies,” Holly shows a bottle of rum she had hiding behind her back, shaking it in excitement.
“Naughty girl.” Jimin winks, standing to his feet, heading towards the kitchen to grab some shot glasses.
You get ready quickly, but taking your time where it counts. You give yourself a once over in the mirror and you have to say you are impressed. Your black jean mini skirt sits right below your ass, while your tits pop in this rose crop top. You wear short heels, and simple jewelry with just the right amount of makeup that makes your features stand out, and you have to say you would kiss yourself if you could—you look fucking good.
“woooooo” Jimin and Trina whistle out at the same time as they walk back in your bedroom.
“I’d fuck.” Jimin says plainly.
“Same as fuck.” Trina says bluntly as she swallows down a shot.
“Yeah you look pretty y/n!” Holly smiles, not really on the same level of honestly as your other two friends.
You burst into giggles, throwing your head back in approval. “Thanks guys…..Lets fucking do this.” You walk towards Trina and grab her shot glass, and you take the bottle from Holly, pouring yourself a shot.
“Ready to fucking mingle.” You gulp down the rum, the burn only encouraging you, the warmth stinging your entire chest and you couldn’t feel more content.
This house was one of the bigger ones, it was full of people and more people and like, more people. You managed to swallow down 3 or 4 shots back at your apartment and the alcohol is definitely working its magic on you, the world just a little nicer.
The amount of people doesn’t even bother you like it usually would, instead you find yourself barging through the front door and making your way to the dance floor with your 3 friends trialing behind you.
The heat of the living room is already intoxicating you, the amount of bodies rolling and grinding makes you feel loose and free. Before you know it Jimin is pushing a drink into your hands and you hug him gratefully as you begin chugging it back.
“Woah slow down, we have all night—actually fuck it, I like your spirit tonight!” he chuckles lightly, his hands going to your waist, rocking you to the beat of the blaring music. Trina and Holly disappear into the kitchen to grab more drinks while you and Jimin dance to whatever b…t…ah, forget it, you forgot the band’s name.
“Are you having fun?” Jimin slurs out, his eyes barely visible as he laughs at nothing.
“So much fun!” you yell out over the music then you lean down into his ear and whisper, “Thanks so much Jiminie…I know I was a little difficult…”
“A little?” he teases.
Jimin’s eyes travel behind you before they are widening. You notice, of course. You are about to turn your head to take a look at whatever he is seeing when his snaps back to you in panic, his troubled smile growing.
“Let’s go find Trina and Holly, yeah?” he tries to usher you toward the kitchen and you oblige. Too drunk and feeling too good that his odd behavior goes ignored by you.
“Kay!” you smile, hooking your arm with his. “Letsa go!” you say like you’re fucking Mario.
The two of you walk to the kitchen, finding Trina and Holly playing a game of beer pong with two random guys.
“Hello my bitches!” Trina hollers over the thumping bass, as she scores a cup of pong, her other hand on Hollys lower back.
“Wait, gotta use the bathroom, be right back!” you slur into Jimin’s ear, he just nods distractedly as he watches the game, laughter erupting his body for probably no drunken reason.
You walk back into the living room and start heading towards the other side where the bathroom is. The journey to the bathroom is fun, you accidently bump into a lot of people but they don’t seem to mind as they will just drunkenly smile at you and you would smile back in your own drunken daze. You skim the room with a dopey smile on your face, just admiring the crowd. You are shocked with yourself…you missed people and you cannot believe it. You continue to observe when your eyes land on tattooed hands. The hands are grabbing a handful of ass on the dance floor. You know these hands. Your eyes travel from his hands to his strong arms to his face…it is hiding in the nook of some girls neck and you feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Jungkook.
He is kissing on some girl, no doubt leaving bruises behind from his attack on her neck. His hands cupping this girls ass so tightly, he guides her hips into his. You watch as she throws her head back in pleasure and you see him smirk. All his signature moves. You are left speechless. What could you even say? Why does this hurt? Why does this make you feel fucking sick? Why does it feel like you aren’t supposed to be witnessing this? Well, you know why but god, why?!
“y/n!!” It’s Jimin, jogging up behind you, “Fuck, I was trying to avoid you seeing this…” he admit softly, “I swear I didn’t think he was going to be here tonight…he didn’t seem that interested when I asked him about it…”
“It’s fine Jimin…” you mumble.
“Does it feel weird? Seeing him with this girl…?” Jimin is obviously trying to get you to admit something right now but you are not in the right head space to even give it a second thought.
“Why should it? Plus I’m used to this…she’s just some random girl for one night.” You twirl the ends of your hair between your fingers.
“Oh babe…” Jimin glances down at the ground, “This girl…she…he’s brought her to every party for the last month…” Jimin sounds as sorry as you feel.
The same girl? That’s impossible, you scoff. There’s no way Jungkook is actually seeing someone. But that doesn’t stop your stomach from twisting and turning and making you feel fucking sick.
“What do you mean?” you finally slur out, leaning your frame on Jimin.
“He brings her and they leave together too…” Jimin holds on to you, “I haven’t really asked him about her though.”
“Whatever. Fuck him, right? I won’t let this ruin my night.” You smile coyly, draping your arms around your friend. “Bathroom please.” You pout theatrically, pointing your head towards the bathroom.
“Okay let’s get you peeing in peace.” Jimin laughs, guiding you towards the door.
Once at the door, you knock a couple times to find that it is empty, “I’ll wait for you out here.” Jimin assures you.
Once inside the small room, you bunch up your skirt and pull down your panties, squatting on the toilet. You sigh in relief as you pee, but the relief you feel in your body stops when you recall the way Jungkook held and kissed this random but not so random girl.
Why should it bother you? It’s about time Jungkook got serious! But why did he have to dump you to achieve that? And why did It have to be with someone el…
You reach for the toilet paper, ripping it after a few sheets and wipe yourself as you drunkenly sing a tune. So what? You can easily replace Jungkook too!
You stand up, pulling your panties up and your skirt down and take a long good look in the mirror. Your hair is still intact, your makeup is only a little smeared—quick fix, and your tits are still poppin’. This night is just beginning, you decide. A whole new wave of confidence begins washing over you.
“Ready!” You pounce on Jimin’s back, he stumbles forward while laughing wholeheartedly.
“Should we look for Trina and Holly again? They’re probably still playing beer pong!”
“Sure.” You smile, walking hand in hand with Jimin as you make your way back to the kitchen.
Hours pass and you are now outside on the back porch piss drunk with your 3 friends and a couple new friends. Nick and his pal that you can’t remember the name of—but you remember Nick. He’s really tall and has nice muscles covering his body, his light hair is messy and looks like you would have fun pulling it.
“And that’s why I think aliens are already here bro, like they are probably here at this fucking party bro.” No name friend finishes his point. Nick holds in his chuckle as his drunk friend rambles.
“Totally bro.” Then his eyes land on you. Fuck, were you staring? Oh well, it’s best to get to the point. You two have been making eyes at each other all night and it’s time to make the next move.
“Hey Nick, wanna grab a drink with me in the kitchen?” you inquire with a sly smile.
Jimin’s eyes widen before he’s smirking “Don’t be silly, wrap that willy.”
Trina and Holly laugh at Jimin’s words while you turn fucking red with embarrassment.
“Sorry about him…” You excuse Jimin, but you continue to smile slyly.
Nick grins with all his teeth as he takes your hand and leads you back inside the house. His hand is much larger than yours and you are already imagining what his beefy fingers will do to your vagina. God, what’s his dick like???
You enter the kitchen and you and him walk towards the cooler full of beers, he lets you stand to the side as he goes to grab them.
“Nick!!!!” you hear a familiar voice and you wince. Jungkook stands next to the cooler, his hand wrapped around the girls hand, but he briefly lets go of it to dap up your fuck for the night.
“What’s up bro!” Nick returns the handshake, a wide smile on his face.
They know each other?
“I thought you said you weren’t coming tonight?” Jungkook’s hand goes back to holding on to the girl.
“I wasn’t going to but,” he nods towards you, “Glad I did.” He winks. Jungkook’s eyes follow Nicks nod and when he sees you stand there awkwardly he goes completely pale. Your eyes meet uncomfortably, Jungkook let’s go of the girls hand without a second thought.
“y/n?” he questions with a pained expression.
“You know her?” Nick asks, totally out of the loop.
You shift from one foot to the other, not really sure what to do or say. So you settle for his name. “Jungkook.” It feels foreign on your tongue. Like if you said it 3 times in a mirror a sinister ghost would come to murder you.
Jungkook opens his mouth then closes it then opens it then closes it again.
“Baaaaabe,” the girl next to him whines, “let’s get out of here already.” She says, not even acknowledging your existence.
Jungkook shamelessly eyes you up and down, his shock is very evident as he looks at you.
You can’t help but smile a little, knowing you look damn good.
“Let’s go too, Nick.” You saunter to his side, grabbing a hold of his bicep.
That’s when Jungkook knocks out of daze, his brows crease as he looks between the two of you.
“Wait—you and Nick?” he asks, completely amused.
“Is that a problem?”
“Nope.” Jungkook looks fucking smug as he smiles, his hand going to grab the girls hand again. “See you later?” he asks you. You of all people! “Uh? Probably not?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Jungkook winks, turning around to leave as he leads his girl out.
Nick just continues to smile, completely oblivious, “So cool that we all know each other!” he grips on to your waist.
“Wait, how do you know Jungkook?”
“We—”
“Wait, it honestly doesn’t matter. Let’s just get out of here.”
“My place?” Nick breathes into your ear, he pushes your hips into his crotch so you can feel his half hard cock.
“Why are you already getting hard?” you tease, leaning up to kiss his neck.
“Honestly, I can’t stop staring at your tits. And I am imagining all the things I want to do to them.” He confesses hotly.
The uber ride to his place is short, only 10 minutes and it goes by quickly as you two have one another’s tongues down each others throats. His hands traveling all around your body, he even manages to slip his fingers past your panties to feel how wet you are.
“Fuck I can’t wait to get you inside…” his rapid breaths fan across your face as you nibble on his neck.
“Gonna fuck me?” you whisper quietly, not trying to get heard by the Uber driver, but you could also hardly care if he hears you or not, he gets 5 stars.
“Want you to ride me.” He palms his cock through his pants as he imagines you bouncing on his cock for him.
“If you deserve it like a good boy.” You replace his hand with your own, rubbing him ferociously over his jeans. You haven’t felt dick in months and the feeling is driving you absolutely wild, you haven’t felt this needy in a long time.
The Uber comes to a stop, parking in front of an apartment building. He lets the two of you know you reached your destination. You and Nick giggle as you thank him and stumble out of the car as you follow him to his apartment. He would stop every few seconds to plant kisses on your lips and grab your ass with a tight squeeze. He groans and rolls his eyes back as he explores your body.
“Wait til we’re inside,” you breathe out, your voice silky as hell.
Finally, after a short, kiss filled elevator ride later you arrive at his front door. His lips never leaving yours as he pulls out his keys, fumbling with them until he finds the right one.
He pulls away for a second to unlock the door and desperately pushes it open to let the two of you inside. Your lips are already back on his as you two trip into the entry way of the apartment, you walk him backwards, until his back is against a wall.
The apartment is dark besides the living room TV, you take a second to pull back and admire Nick’s fucked out expression, the blue glow of the TV making everything feel surreal.
You dive back in to kiss him, he prods his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around with yours making you moan into his mouth.
“Hi guys!”
Your eyes shoot open, mouth still attached to Nicks. You push your head back, disconnecting from Nick and yank your head to the left where you see a wild Jungkook sitting on the living room sofa, his mouth full of the cereal he is eating. He is wearing the most shit eating grin you have ever seen on him.
“Jungkook?! What the fuck?” You spit out, totally fucking shocked. Like, obviously.
“Hey man…” Nick breathes out heavily, trying to speak properly, “I thought you would be at Vanessa’s tonight?”
“Nah,” Jungkook smiles, “Dropped her off and came home.”
HOME?
“H-Home?” You look between the two guys, what the fuck does he mean by that. This is Nicks place, right?
“Oh you didn’t know?” Jungkook nods his head toward Nick, “Nick here is my beloved roommate.”
“What the fuck…” you mutter under your breath, trying to understand the mother fucking situation. Were you about to fuck Jungkook’s roommate? Are you still going to is the real question?
“Wait, how do you two even know each other?” Nick starts to look antsy, “Don’t tell me she’s one of the girls you’ve fucked…come on bro, leave some for the rest of us.” He chuckles somewhat bitterly.
“No!” you’re quick to say. You begin smoothing out your skirt, then your hair. “We just…”
“y/n is my bestie!” Jungkook grins, putting the cereal down and standing up. He walks forward until he is making a triangle with you and Nick.
“Was.” You spit out harshly, crossing your arms across your chest. Nick just stands there confused as hell, looking between the two of you.
“Anyway, I should get going.” You turn your body to Nick, a look of apology on your face.
“What? We can just go to my room?” he slurs, tugging on his pants uncomfortably, his boner still apparent.
“Sorry, no longer in the mood.”
You pull out your phone to order an Uber when Jungkook takes your phone from you.
“I’m not drunk, I can drive you.” He offers. You push your head back in disbelief, how does Jungkook have the AUDACITY to offer that to you?
“Why the fuck would I want that?”
“So we can…” His eyes slide over to the ever growing confused Nick, “Talk.”
You haven’t spoken to Jungkook in 3 months and today is finally the day you are able to breathe a little easier and he just has to barge back in.
“Like I said,” You snatch your phone back from him, “Why the fuck would I want that?”
Nick shifts around uncomfortably, his eyes darting from you to Jungkook.
“Well, I am gonna head to my room…uh, bye y/n…it was nice meeting you…I guess…”
You and Jungkook both turn your heads toward Nick at the same time, eyes shooting daggers at him.
“Yeah, bye.” Jungkook dismisses his roommate, his jaw clenching.
“Nice to meet you too…”
Nick walks backward until his back meets his bedroom room, he looks at the two of you one last time before turning around to disappear into his room.
“I said, let me drive you home.”
“And I said, why the fuck would I want that?”
“y/n don’t choose now to be difficult.” Jungkook takes a step closer to you, his hands running through his dark, messy hair. His eyes shut in frustration, “I just want to talk to you.”
“And I don’t want to talk to you.” You take a step back, “Plus, how would your girlfriend feel if you took me home?”
Jungkook’s eyes narrow, his mouth setting in a firm line.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Could of fooled me and like, everyone else.” You scoff.
Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, not knowing what to say. While she’s not his girlfriend she’s also not not his girlfriend. It’s complicated.
“Can I please, just please, can I take you home?”
“No, Jungkook. The fucking audacity,” you scoff again, “You haven’t spoken to me in 3 months,” your voice fucking cracks and you feel like dying. “Don’t start now.”
“y/n…” he runs another frustrated hand down his tired face, “I didn’t mean for it to go this long…” “I don’t fucking care, Jungkook.”
You feel your chest begin to burn, and your eyes begin to gloss over but you won’t cry. You won’t give him the satisfaction.
“I want nothing to do with you.”
You stare at the phone in your hands as you begin ordering your Uber when he yanks it from your hands once again, he hides the phone in his back pocket and you snarl.
“What the hell Jeon?”
“I said I am driving you home so we can talk so that’s what we are gonna fucking do, okay?” he grabs your hand and begins walking you towards the front door. There’s something about Jungkook...you decide to listen. You watch silently as he puts on his shoes and grabs his wallet and keys.
“Okay…” you finally answer, your voice timid.
He said you guys are going to talk but the car ride has been mostly silent save the low radio playing in the background. Maybe it’s better this way, you think. You aren’t sober, that’s for sure but you also don’t think you are drunk enough to handle this properly. You decide maybe that’s also for the best.
“You sir, are a fucking asshole.” You speak up, your fingers playing with the zipper of your purse. The car smells like it always does, his fresh laundry car freshener and you get sucked into a million memories linked with this scent.
“I know.” Jungkook eyes you from the driver seat, you shiver from the running AC and so he turns it down, “There’s a blanket in the back if you want to grab it.”
“No thanks, don’t know where that’s been.”
“It’s clean, I promise.”
Your eyes go wide as you recall his last promise to you…”Just a few days. I promise.”
“Yeah, I don’t actually believe in your promises anymore.” You continue to pick at the zipper of your purse, your eyes never leaving the zig and zag of the material.
“I needed space y/n, fucking sue me.” He groans out, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“Oh I wish I could.” You snap back.
You feel your chest burn and tighten again, your eyes slightly watering. You have to force them shut to keep from any tears growing.
“I called and texted you every day.” You whisper, his grip getting tighter on the steering wheel.
“I gave you a few days Jungkook. But I never heard from you until 11 at night one night telling me you are fucking moving out.”
“I know, that was…fucked up, I admit. But I had to do what I had to do and I just wish you would let me explain that—”
“No.” you cut him off, “You don’t deserve to explain anything.”
“You mean so much to me y/n…”
“Don’t.”
Jungkook pulls over on the side of the road, turning off the ignition.
“What are you doing?” you sputter out.
He clicks his seatbelt off his body and turns to face you, “Getting comfortable.”
“Why?”
“Will you look at me?” Jungkook tilts his head towards you, “Will you please look at me?”
“No.” you stay facing forward, your hands folded in your lap.
“y/n…please.” His voice sounds strained and you almost feel bad. Almost, but not quite.
You don’t need this…you don’t need him. Ouch, you feel pain in your chest as you think that…oh, the lies you tell yourself.
“Say what you need to say Jungkook, so you can take me home.” Your face stays neutral.
Jungkook sighs out, feeling almost defeated, but not quite.
“I…I am so sorry.” He finally says.
“About what?”
“Everything y/n.” his voice cracks and somehow you feel satisfied.
“You’ll have to be more specific if you ever want my acceptance”
“I know…the first thing I am sorry for is not telling you about Taehyung. That was…that was wrong of me—”
“No shit, but go on.” Your voice stays steady as you speak.
“I was worried about other shit, I was selfish and it’s taking me a long time to forgive myself…but I’ve thought a lot about it these last few months and—and…”
“Oh? You’re worried about you forgiving yourself? Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about I don’t know, me?”
Jungkook frowns at your words, because well, you’re right. And he’s getting to that part but you keep interrupting him. But he lets you.
“Yes. I am most worried about you, of course.” He breathes out. “You have no idea what these 3 months without you have felt like…”
“Really Jungkook? If anyone knows its fucking me. I went 3 months without you too. You left me!” you start to lose your composure as you speak, your hands gripping on to your poor purse. “When I was going through a really hard time you straight up left me.” You whisper.
“Please believe me…I had my reasons. It was truly for the best y/n.”
“For the best?” you scoff. “You’re such an asshole.”
Jungkook winces at your words, he knows you mean them and that hurts him even more.
“Can you just trust me?” Jungkook blurts out.
Huh? You shake your head, disappointed he would say something so …well, ridiculous.
“Just stop, Jungkook.” You hesitantly roll your eyes, still shaking your head.
Jungkook licks his lips over and over, trying to figure out his next words.
“I really really,” he begins to lose it, his eyes darting all around the car. “just need you to trust me.” He blinks repeatedly, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.
You, of course, do not believe your ears. Trust him? How could you possibly trust him?
“I just really…I really had my reasons y/n. And I’m sorry, but I just need you to just trust me, that I had my reasons and that I do care about you.” His voice is shaky and you’re uncertain how to take this information.
“I’m confused…” you begin, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You want me to trust you? Even after you left me? Even after I ‘threw myself’ at you?!”
“You weren’t in the right head space y/n…you were vulnerable and…and you didn’t actually want me. You just were feeling used and rejected and needed something to make you feel wanted. To feel better. You wanted to use me for that and I couldn’t let you. But how much could I handle? You liked one of my friends, dated him…sort of, even slept with him and I had to be your shoulder to cry on when,” his breathing picks up heavily as he tries to speak, “it doesn’t matter.” He grits out.
You sit there…speechless. He wasn’t wrong, was he? You were feeling lost and rejected and used and you just wanted something or someone to feel better and who better than your best friend? But it’s also his fault you needed things to work out with Taehyung in the first place!
“Jungkook—”
“I’m not done.” He breathes out, his hot breath reaching your skin.
“I needed some space to think. But I realized I couldn’t properly think things through if I saw you every day, so yeah, I moved out. I’m sorry…” He runs a hand through his hair, a light chuckle makes it way past his lips “Then I met Vanessa.”
“I don’t want to talk about your little girlfriend.” You turn to face forward in your seat, your eyes glancing at the stop sign ahead.
“I told you, she’s not my girlfriend. But it is complicated.”
You continue to look straight ahead, your heart racing in your chest. The subject of “Vanessa” making you feel anxious.
“Complicated how?” you gulp.
“Don’t worry about it.” He laughs to himself, you turn your head to look at him.
“Are you serious, Jungkook?”
“We fuck y/n.”
“But it’s more than that right?”
“Yeah…” Jungkook bites down on his lip.
You look at him bewildered.
“Do you like her? Love her?”
You grip your purse in your lap, waiting for his answer. How would you feel if he answers yes? Are you brave enough to endure that answer? And if he says no? should you be happy? Should you feel relieved?
“No.” he closes his eyes, he folds his hands in front of him. “It’s complicated.”
You sign in relief—oh. Relief is the emotion you are feeling. Why? Why should it matter?
“Why are you telling me all of this?” you whisper.
“I want to be friends again, y/n.” he says softly, his eyes searching yours.
This is madness, how the hell could you save this friendship? Your face scrunches up and the first couple of tears slide down your cheeks, you shake your head as they continue to fall.
“You don’t know how this makes me feel…” you cry out. “I don’t even know how it makes me feel.”
You miss him, so fucking much and he’s right here offering himself to you. But you ‘re so hurt.
“y/n…I know I hurt you. But you gotta believe me when I say it is the hardest thing I have had to do…you understand that right? I had to do it…you understand right?” he begs.
“You were so quick to abandon me, Jungkook.” You drop your head into your hands, the tears uncontrollable now.
“I…” Jungkook begins to panic, his own eyes glossing over. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Please y/n…I can make it up to you.”
“Things would never be the same, you get that right?” you bawl into your lap, your words coming out broken.
“Please baby, I just need you in my life again…” Jungkook admits, his own words choppy. He reaches his hand to touch you, to his surprise you don’t flinch. His hand cups the back of your head and he begins to massage it softly.
“I have missed you so much and nothing I mean nothing can replace you.” He hesitates to continue, “trust me…I have tried.”
You sob into your hands harder, the weight of his words crushing you.
“I’m sorry Jungkook but I…I don’t believe you.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen as he absorbs your words, his mouth falls open in shock. Don’t believe him?
“What—what do you mean? What are you saying?” his panic filled voice makes your stomach churn.
“I reject your offer. Now please take me home.” You lift your head and stare straight ahead. “I’m serious.”
Jungkook face twists into a bewildered expression, he doesn’t believe his ears. You…reject him?
“Wait—”
“I said take me home now.” This time you snap your face in his direction, the cold look in your eyes piercing his very soul.
“Okay.”
Hopeless: the dictionary describes it as without hope ; despairing. But in reality, it’s just a picture of Jungkook’s poor, poor face.
Jungkook parks in his designated spot in the lot of his apartment complex, he reverses in because why the hell not. So extra. His drive home was silent… not even the radio on a low volume keeping him company, just complete silence. He turns the car off but doesn’t make a move to get out, he just continues to sit here in his car and sigh out dramatically every 5 seconds.
He’s so confused and lost on what to do. He bangs his head against the steering wheel a few times just for the hell of it, he just…he didn’t think you would reject him. But honestly? Can he blame you? All he’s done lately is be selfish and mess up over and over again. But he wishes you could just trust him but he also wishes he could just tell you the truth. Maybe then you could understand his position and you wouldn’t be mad at him anymore. But he has to wait.
Jungkook’s head is still banging against the steering wheel when more thoughts of you bombard his mind. His breathing picks up and he starts to sniffle, he doesn’t want to cry but you just…you don’t want anything to do with him. He balls his hands into fists and hit the steering wheel over and over causing the horn to go off a few times but he doesn’t care he’s so upset, he just….
When Jungkook saw you tonight for the first time in 3 months he swears his heart actually stopped. He swears it raced so quickly that it just stopped. He let go of Vanessa’s hand so quickly because he wanted to rush to you and hug you close, he wanted to just feel you. Not having touched your skin for the last 3 months…he doesn’t want to imagine even another day.
A few tears slip past his closed lids, he chuckles darkly as he recalls you and Nick. He thought, wow, the universe is cruel and also hilarious. His fucking roommate? He shakes his head, laughing again but his lips remain downward. He feels so fucking helpless right now. But he deserves this, he deserves to feel this pain. He did this to himself and he’s fully aware of that.
Jungkook thinks of your face, he thinks of your smile, he thinks of your eyes and he cries harder, his tears landing on the steering wheel and sliding down landing on to his lap. Yes, he feels like all hope is lost but he knows he cannot give up. He will win you over again one day. He lifts his head and wipes his tear streaked cheeks with the back of his hand and breathes out steadily.
“y/n…” he whispers to himself. Your name leaves his mouth in frustration. He won’t give up. He can’t.
~~~~
“And they were roommates?!” Jimin shouts, a banana half sticking out of his mouth, Trina gasps and whispers “Oh my god they were roommates.”
“Yeah, it was a total shit show.” You bang your head against your breakfast table. Holly rubs your back as she sits next to you.
“Then what happened?” she pries further.
“Yeah what the hell happened y/n!” Jimin yells out.
“He asked to be friends again…and I totally rejected him. Maybe I was too harsh? He was so sad guys…it makes me think…I might agree to kind of being…friends?”
Jimin shuts his eyes as a frown decorates his face, he places a hand on his hip and he inhales a sharp breath, “Listen…you’re both my friends and of course I want you to be good again…but he hurt you …bad.”
“I know Jiminie, but his reasons…” you bite your lip, “Never mind.”
“Well, I don’t like it.” Trina butts in. “He fucking left you, remember?”
“Yes Trina, I fucking remember—”
“Then fucking act like it!”
“Trina relax,” Holly intervenes. “They have a long history, right? It’s hard to just forget about everything…”
Jimin stands from his chair, hands on both hips. “Fine, if we are doing this…then you better actually try. Don’t half ass shit, if you’re going to be friends then don’t be an asshole to him, don’t make snarky remarks…I know your ass.”
Jimin has a good point, you haven’t actually thought about how you will act.
“I’ll be a good girl.” You raise your right arm to salute him.
“Fucking smart ass.” He rolls his eyes.
“Are we serious right now?” Trina shakes her head, “You moped around for 3 fucking months y/n. You cried every time you even thought of Jungkook…which was a fucking lot.” She points out, “Listen, you stayed strong when you talked to him in the car. Don’t break just because you feel bad for the dude because he’s fucking pitiful. He doesn’t deserve your pity girl. He’s an asshole!”
“Trina, be nice.” Holly says sternly, reaching forward to grab on to Trina’s hand. Trina visibly relaxes and nods her head towards Holly and smiles softly.
You and Jimin share a look. Are they….?
“You…” You slam your eyes shut, Trina’s words ringing loudly in your ears. You know she’s right. “I’ll think about it some more. For now, I gotta get ready for work.”
~~~~
“Doesn’t Hazel look so pretty here?” Adam shoves his phone in your face as he gushes about his girlfriend.
“Yes dude, she’s so pretty.” You deadpan. “Now can you please put the brownies in the oven? We’re low.”
“Wait wait…here’s one of us together at the park.” He nudges his phone in your hands, you roll your eyes but you take it.
The two of them are sitting on a park bench, she’s leaning into his frame and they both have wide smiles on their faces. They seem so in love. And you know they are because fucking Adam reminds you every 20 seconds.
“Their love makes me sick.” Jade walks over, her hands patting down on her work apron, her tone is bland but she still tries to smile. “Like, we get it.”
“Who loves who more?” you begin with a toothy grin, “Adam to Hazel or Lenny to the sugar cookies?” you laugh while pointing at said Lenny stuffing his face with the reject cookies. Jade and Adam chuckle while they stare at him.
“Hey guys, really?” Lenny says with his mouth full. “You know I feel bad when we throw them away.” He pouts, crumbs decorating his lips.
“Lenny I catch you eating fresh ones all the time!” Adam points out.
“Sometimes they’re a little ugly…” Lenny reasons, “So I…”
“You don’t have to explain my guy, you just really love your cookies.” You hand Adam back his phone as you head towards the walk in freezer to take out the brownies yourself. You load up a tray and stick those suckers in the oven.
“You’re useless Adam.” Jade sticks a piece of gum in her mouth and chews obnoxiously “U-s-e-l-e-s-s. Useless.”
“You’re always so mean to me Jade what did I ever do to you?”
All 4 of you shoot your heads up when you hear the bell go off on the door of the bakery, its loud chime signaling the arrival of a customer.
“Oh.” Jade says while popping a bubble. “It’s your usual customer y/n.”
You tilt your head towards the front of the store to get a look at who she is talking about, and yup its him. Your most consistent customer who orders the same damn thing every single day. 2 oatmeal raisin cookies and that’s it.
“Can someone else just take care of him today?” you whine, “I’m not in the mood to argue.”
“You know he’s just going to ask for you…” Lenny says stuffing his face with another cookie.
“God damn it.” You huff out, you grab two gloves from the box on the counter and begin walking towards the front of the store.
You reach the front counter and take in your enemy—you mean, your customer.
“And what do I owe the pleasure Mister Oatmeal Raisin?” you raise a brow towards the man. He’s only a few inches taller than you, his hair is a sandy color today and you hate to admit it looks good on him.
“You know you could just call me by name.” the man sways side to side with a smirk on his face.
“I like Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”
He has been coming to this store for the last couple of months and you two…don’t necessarily get along swimmingly. He complains a lot and is a total smart ass. And you? Well, you’re not much better.
“Well, I’ll have my usual.” He smiles, “And you know the drill, please make sure there is a normal amount of raisins and not a million, I don’t want 8 raisins a bite. But one every now and then.”
You roll your eyes extremely dramatically, pressing the buttons on the screen for his order.
“Sir yes sir.” You salute towards him, “How could I not know the drill?”
“That’s the spirit.”
You spin on your heels and head towards the back to heat up his two cookies. You carefully select one cookie with barely any raisins and one cookie with a million, just like he didn’t want. You cackle to yourself as you place them in the baggy, feeling beyond satisfied.
“How haven’t you gotten fired?” Adam crosses his arms over his chest as he watches you, “And how hasn’t he complained about you? You do this every time I don’t get it.”
“He likes her.” Jade says plainly while scrolling through her phone.
“As fucking if!” you scoff, “He wants nothing but to annoy me!” But you can’t help but smile.
“He literally only asks for you every time you’re in.” Lenny reasons, “but you shouldn’t like him back…he likes the worst cookie on the menu. Sugar is where it’s at.”
You laugh at your coworker while walking back up towards the front of the store, reaching the counter.
“Your cookies!” you hand him the baggy with an evil smirk, “I hope you enjoy them.” You wink.
The man opens the baggy and inspects each cookie and with his own evil smirk he winks back at you, “Are we serious right now?” his sly smile doesn’t leave his face as he begins to complain, “You are such a brat.”
“$4 Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”
He hands you the cash, you put it away quickly and with a wide smile you gesture towards the door for him to leave.
“Min Yoongi.” He shakes the bag of cookies in front of him, “Not Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” He turns around and starts walking towards the door but before he exits he tilts his head to look at you one last time, “See you tomorrow…y/n.”
You feel a harsh blush creep up on your cheeks, or your whole face actually. Maybe your whole body. You feel taken aback he knows your name but then you remember you have a god damn name tag.
“Uh…yeah.”
“See you tomorrow…y/n.” all 3 of your coworkers mock in a deep voice.
“Shut up guys!” you whine into your hands, “Can we please just get back to work!”
~~~~~
A few weeks later
The drive to Jimin’s is a quick 7 minutes but you did take a little detour. You decided to stop at the pizzeria that’s on the way and grab a hot pizza for the two of you.
“Hehe.” You look over to the steamy food sitting in the passenger seat.
Jimin has been such a great friend to you all this time and you feel like you’ve never really thanked him…so, tonight you two are going to have a fun night in—he just doesn’t know it yet.
Who doesn’t love being surprised with food?
You pull up to Jimin’s apartment complex and after driving in circles you finally find a parking spot. You grab your purse, your backpack, and the pizza and make your way up to his apartment.
You knock on his front door a few times but get no answer. Maybe he’s not home? No, you definitely hear music coming from the other side…so, you decide to call him.
“Hello?”
“Jimin~ let me in!” you sing into the phone.
“You’re—you’re here?”
“Let me in already!” and with that you hang up and wait patiently outside the door.
A few moments pass before the door is opening up, when Jimin really registers that it’s you he’s kind of closing the door until only his face is shown through the crack.
“Ummm…yes?”
You quirk a brow at the boy, “What do you mean ‘yes?’ let me in!” you begin walking forward when a panicked Jimin opens the door wider to let himself outside and shut the door behind him.
“y/n…why are you here? Did we have plans tonight?” he looks down at the pizza in your hands.
“Not exactly…” you admit, “But I figured we could have a night in.”
Jimin frowns. Fucking frowns!
“Or not?” you say awkwardly.
You hear some sort of banging on the other side of the door and then it clicks.
“Oh? You have someone over?” you smirk.
“Uhhh…no. Nothing like that.” Jimin’s eyes slide to the side as he tries to think of what to say next.
“Babe—”
“Jimin!”
The door is being swung wide open and your eyes travel from some horrendous toes socks to some tight jeans to a striped t shirt to yes, Jungkook’s surprised face.
“Oh.” You both say at the same time.
You and Jungkook stare at one another for a few moments, neither of your eyes leaving the other when Jimin clears his throat.
“Sorry y/n. Jungkook is already over…” he gives you an apologetic smile.
“Is it just you two?” you ask quietly.
“Huh? Uh, yeah.”
You glance down at the pizza and think to yourself. You and Jungkook may not be friends but you can be civil? Yeah, totally! You can definitely be civil! You already bought this fucking pizza so you and Jimin are going to eat it! And you guess, Jungkook too.
“Okay, let me in.” you start shoving your way past Jimin, you watch as his and Jungkook’s eyes go wide.
“Maybe you didn’t hear him, but I am already hanging out with him?” Jungkook sputters out. He awkwardly moves to the side anyway to let you through.
“I can be civil with you Jungkook. Plus, I don’t want this pizza to go to waste. So let’s eat.” You walk through, nudging the pizza box into Jungkook’s hands, he takes it while looking at Jimin with shocked eyes.
Jimin just shrugs and follows you inside.
“Yeah, let’s eat.” He says nonchalantly.
Jungkook is left at the door with the pizza in his hands as he is left completely dumbfounded. He is malfunctioning.
“Jungkook?” you call out over your shoulder, “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”
“Yeah, Jungkook hurry up!” Jimin smirks, he isn’t totally sure what’s going on but he kind of likes it.
“So what were you guys doing before I got here?” you shove an entire slice of pizza down your throat, the sauce getting left behind on your lips.
“I was teaching Jungkook some of my dance moves…we made a bet that he couldn’t learn the entire routine in 3 times…and—”
“Let me guess, he fucking learned it.” You laugh.
Jimin groans, his head thrown back as he begins nodding his head ‘yes.’
“So annoying! What can’t he do!” Jimin throws the pizza crust in the box and Jungkook immediately picks it up and eats it.
“Pshh, I could name a few things.” You point out bitterly. “But we won’t get into that.”
“Yeah, please don’t.” Jimin pleads.
“I’m curious…what is it you think I cant do?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you and your eyes darken in his direction.
“You really want me to?” you take a napkin and wipe your lips, “It’s nothing nice.” You admit.
“Oh then yes, please don’t.” Jungkook is quick to say.
“Yes, please don’t.” Jimin begs again.
The 3 of you are sitting on the living room floor, maybe only 30 minutes or so has passed by and it’s not too awkward. But it’s not necessarily comfortable either. Jimin looks between you and Jungkook constantly, waiting for someone to crack but neither of you really speak to each other. Both of you really only communicating with Jimin.
“So Jimin, are you going to show me another routine?”
“Why? So you can prove you’re the master of everything again? No thanks.”
“Jimin, maybe you can show me a few steps?”
Jimin smiles awkwardly while Jungkook is quick to burst out laughing. You snap your head towards Jungkook and raise your brows at him.
“Why is Jungkook laughing, Jimin?”
“Umm…” Jimin smiles softly, “You aren’t the most…”
Jungkook laughs harder as he watches Jimin trying to explain.
“Aren’t the most…?” You tilt your head towards the boy.
“C’mon y/n don’t make me say it…” Jimin drags out his words in a whine, he plays with his fingers, looking around the room awkwardly.
“Just say it Jimin.” Jungkook chuckles out.
“If you’re trying to say I’m a bad dancer, we all know that’s not true!” you defend once you catch on, you pout at the boys.
“Well…”
“You have both told me I am a good dancer!”
“Well, you know how to move. But steps…following a routine…that’s different. You aren’t very coordinated.” Jimin finally admits, a sheepish grin on his face.
“He means you can roll your hips but your feet are clumsy as fuck.” Jungkook says, still laughing at the situation.
“Shut up.” You glare at Jungkook.
“No, he’s right.” Jimin begins laughing as well, he looks at you and smiles. Well, if Jimin is saying it…maybe it might be true. It’s not like you didn’t kind of know. But still!
“Fine, whatever. Don’t teach me then.”
Suddenly, Jimin’s phone is going off and he rushes to the kitchen to answer it. You and Jungkook eat your pizza in silence, awkwardly catching one another’s gaze.
“So—”
“Don’t talk to me.” You cut in. Jimin isn’t here so it’s not like you have to be totally social with Jungkook.
“Oh.” Jungkook dramatically slumps his shoulders and pouts. You watch him as he throws a silent fit like the baby he is. “Okay.”
Jimin walks back into the living room looking annoyed, he stands between you two and throws a hand on his hip.
“I have to go down to the front office, there was a mix up in packages…I shouldn’t take too long…” he bites down on his plump bottom lip, “Please be civil while I’m gone. Jungkook…” he looks at the boy then at you, “y/n…” he warns.
“Sir yes sir!” you salute towards your friend with a straight face.
Jimin only narrows his eyes as he looks between you two.
“I’m serious…” he says.
Then he is putting on some shoes and heading out the front door, the soft click making you shudder. You’re alone with Jungkook.
A few minutes pass and you both awkwardly just sit there, sometimes catching the other looking. You finally huff out and accidentally giggle.
“What’s funny?” Jungkook’s curiosity getting the best of him.
“It’s just…I feel like we’re Jimin’s divorced parents and we’re trying to be civil for our child.”
Jungkook stares at you with scrunched brows, then looks away while a chuckle escapes his lips.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
You only nod your head in response. You two go back to the awkward silence.
You aren’t used to this…this awkward and odd silence that lingers between you two. It feels so fucking suffocating you almost wish you were on total talking terms so you didn’t have to endure this shit show.
“You know I could…no, forget it.” Jungkook bites his nails as he speaks, “I…”
“What?” you don’t mean to snap at him, but somehow even talking with an attitude feels better than not talking at all.
“I was going to say…I could teach you some steps…then you could surprise Jimin. He’s been working on a salsa piece…I can teach you some? Then maybe he will stop talking shit on your dancing.” Jungkook laughs awkwardly.
“Wait—he talks shit?!” somehow this doesn’t surprise you in the least.
“Only a little.” Jungkook shows you how little with his pointer finger and thumb. “But uh, want me to show you?”
“I don’t even want to talk to you, you think I want to dance with you?” you raise a brow in amusement. You forget this boy has all the audacity.
“Dancing doesn’t have to have any talking.” Jungkook states with a sly smile.
“So you’re just going to show me the steps?”
“Precisely.”
You don’t know why, but this sounds better than actually speaking and/or just sitting in miserable silence. And maybe, just maybe you have a desire to be close to him.
“You think I could learn in time before Jimin gets back?”
“With me as your teacher? Definitely.” He fucking smirks at you and you can’t help but feel that feeling in your stomach. Not necessarily a bad feeling but a fucking feeling.
Jungkook stands to his feet and extends his hand out to you for you to take.
“Here, stand up.”
Your eyes travel from his hands to his eyes and you blink lazily at him…wait, you’re really doing this? He stares down at you and he smiles softly and it creates a warmth in your chest that you’re trying so hard to ignore. You can’t.
Even so, you hesitantly begin to reach up to grab on to his hand, once your skin touches his you feel it. The burning. You should be used to it but right now, the fire is raging and the heat is almost too much. But you let him close his hand over yours as he helps you up.
You’re now standing in front of one another, in complete silence again. But this time it’s not awkward—no, it’s a different type of tension. Your hand lingers in his, neither of you brave enough to let go of the other. Jungkook looks down at you and you up at him, and you feel a million things. But the number one thing you feel is pain. You slowly pull your hand back and break eye contact with him, your head dropping low.
“Show me already.” You whisper.
“Shh, no talking.” Jungkook quietly demands. “Only speak with your body.” He puts some music on the speakers and smirks at you.
Jungkook steps closer to you and you stay grounded in your spot, you can feel the heat of his body begin to radiate and warm you. One of his hands find yours, he weaves his fingers through your own and puts one hand on your hip, he looks down at you to warn you this is how he will guide you.
“Just follow me.”
“You said no talking Mr.Jeon.” you say almost under your breath as you stare into his eyes. Jungkook rolls his head back with a smirk on his face, he looks at you and nods.
He puts his left foot forward and steps with his right foot in the same place at center, then puts his left foot back again. You try to copy his moves but even with such simple steps you step on his feet. He looks up at you disapprovingly. You only smile at him.
You two continue to try these steps until you finally manage to understand them even just a little bit. Jungkook brings your body closer to his as you two move your hips to the music while following the simple steps. His chest flush against your own, his heart beating so loudly you can feel it. Your heart isn’t any better. You start to finally get the hang of it, the music slowly taking you to another place. Jungkook moves his hips to the beat so flawlessly and honestly? You’re doing pretty fucking good if you do say so yourself.
Jungkook’s grip on your hip tightens as he grinds himself closer to you, you feel lightheaded as you two dance to the song. Your breathing getting just a little heavier and you feel lost and pathetic but you’re too immersed in the dance to care. Jungkook finds his head falling into the crook of your neck, his hot breaths fanning against your sensitive skin and you find your hand skimming up his back until you have a handful of his hair. You lightly tug on his locks and Jungkook quietly groans. You don’t know if you’re even doing the right steps anymore, your feet moving all around the place, but somehow it’s working. You’re still following his lead and you’re sure the dance looks somewhat okay. All you care about is how both of your hips move to the beat of the music and into each other. You two are so in sync its driving you nuts.
Jungkook lifts his head and watches as you close your eyes and he closes his own eyes, his head falling forward, your foreheads close to touching. You feel so dizzy, so light and airy, so fucking great like you’re floating. You can’t help but feel the heat creep up your entire body, you feel sweat start to build as you two move. You tighten your hands around Jungkook’s neck and pull him down impossibly close, until his forehead is touching yours. Your harsh breaths mingling with his. You get dragged into the memory of when he had you pinned to his dorms mattress, you recall how his lips left kisses all along your throat, his hot breath reminding you of the past. You think of how he rolled his hips into you effortlessly then as well, you think of how you scraped your nails down his back as he thrusted into you. God, you need to think of something else but Jungkook is filling your mind.
Jungkook’s breathing picks up again, as does yours. Your memories making this dance that much more sensual. You remember the way Jungkook nibbled on your ear as he let filthy words spill from his mouth when he fucked you. God, you should not be thinking this but his body feels so good. God, you should think of anything…literally anything else. You remember how he held you close much like how he is right now. You two continue dancing to the song that is soon coming to an end. You know exactly how it feels to have Jungkook inside you, moving and stilling. You know exactly what it feels like to come all around his cock. God, you need to stop. You need to slow your breathing. God, you…you…you...he continues to guide you along to the music when you feel something hard poke against you. Oh. Oh. OH. Hard. He’s hard.
Immediately, you pull back and take several clumsy steps backward. You blink at him with wide eyes when you realize that maybe he was recalling the same memories as you. Your wide eyes concerning Jungkook.
“Okay, that’s enough lessons for today.” Your harsh breaths don’t go unnoticed by Jungkook, his own breathing quite unsteady.
“Right.” Jungkook mumbles.
You two stand around for a few moments, just taking in the experience you just shared.
You still feel…how do you feel? You just shared a hot dance with your best friend? Wait—ex best friend? You don’t know. The memory of his body moving with yours, his skin touching your skin, his breaths on your neck, his hair balled up in your hands. God, it felt so good.
But so wrong.
“Umm…thanks.” You finally say.
Jungkook perks up at the gratitude, even if it’s somewhat forced. His frown turns into a small smile and you can’t help but smile back.
“I miss you y/n.” Jungkook instantly regrets it by the look on your face. Your expression turning hard. “Sorry I—”
“No, I miss you too.” You answer honestly. “But this doesn’t change anything.”
“But why not? Do you really not want me in your life for like, ever?”
Jungkook’s questions settle deep within you. The depth they hold…it’s too much. You wonder? Is this anti-Jungkook thing permanent? Or are you just trying to teach him a lesson?
Jungkook rubs his temples as he thinks, he sighs out instead of talking more.
“Not forever.” You finally say. Jungkook looks at you, a sliver of hope flashes across his face.
“But when?” he asks softly.
Yeah y/n. When? You know you both can’t go back to how things use to be but maybe starting over? God, you don’t know what to do! You know someone like Trina will be disappointed you became friends with Jungkook again so quickly, but you know someone like Jimin would be happy his two friends are back to being on okay terms. Why are you trying to please everybody? What do you want?
“Will you ever give up?” you say a little more lightly.
“No…” he says under his breath, his eyes focusing on the TV. “Not until you agree to be my friend again.”
You look at Jungkook with disbelief written all over your face, this boy has the fucking audacity once again. You’re amused though.
“Excuse me?” you say, cleaning your ear out with your point finger. “I didn’t catch that.”
Jungkook looks into your eyes, his eyes are large and doe like and it brings you back to every moment ever that he has given you this look.
“You’re stuck with me until you love me again.” He says more firmly.
“Who said,” you look at him with soft eyes, “That I ever stopped loving you?”
Jungkook smiles, he fucking smiles. His adorable bunny smile that makes your heart race.
“You still love me?”
“Only a little.” You jut your lip out, “I mostly hate you.”
Jungkook only frowns for a second before he is smiling again, “That’s fair.”
The two of you stand in comfortable silence for a few minutes, you sway back and forth wondering what you want to say to him—you miss him, of course but…
“Let’s take it slow.” You finally break the silence. You miss him more than anything and it might be worth it to have him in your life again, “You aren’t going to be a priority in my life anymore.” You crack you knuckles, the sound filling up the room.
“I know,” Jungkook feels his heart twist at your words but at least it’s something. “We can go however slow you want y/n.”
“You are on—”
“Thin fucking ice, buddy. I know.”
You exhale a shaky breath, thinking about how to go about this, “We can text every now and then, I’m not sure I want to hang out with you quite yet.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe a group hang out first…”
“I’d like that.”
Jungkook reaches over to grab your hand but you pull back, “That’s a no from me for the affection.”
Hurt flashes across Jungkook’s features but he softens up as he nods his head. “Noted.”
You wonder if you’re making the right decision. This wasn’t easy, you know? This actually felt quite hard. But somehow you feel like some weight has been lifted off your shoulders, like things maybe just maybe will be okay.
“I won’t push myself on you, I promise.” Jungkook sits back down on the floor, crossing his legs.
“Just be yourself, Jungkook.”
“If I wanted to be myself I would be hugging you right now but that’s apparently off limits.” He jokes.
“One hug.” You open your arms timidly. You feel one hug can’t be too bad?
Jungkook widens his eyes in pleasant surprise. He stands to his feet again and opens his own arms.
“C’mere.”
You watch in disbelief as he grins with his arms wide open, expecting you to go to him! And you do. You fucking do.
His arms wrap around you, he pushes you into his chest and you feel so fucking good. So warm, so cozy. His scent making you feel dizzy again, his warmth causing you to heat up. You lean back and look at his content face, he honestly looks so fucking content. Like, this hug is everything to him. And maybe it is, but you don’t know that.
“Uh, am I interrupting something?” you both snap your heads toward the front door to see Jimin standing there with a package in his hands.
“I can come back later?” he smirks at you two.
“No no no no!” you drop your arms from hugging Jungkook and take a few steps back, “We were just—”
“We made up, Jimin.” Jungkook says calmly with the softest smile you’ve ever seen on him.
“We’re taking it slow!” you rush to say.
“Oh?” Jimin winks, he walks forward until he’s in the living room joining you two. “Does this mean you will be joining us this Thursday at Jungkook and Nick’s place?”
“Huh?”
Jungkook shifts on his feet, “Yeah, uh, me and Nick are having a small get together on Thursday…you can bring whoever you want…but you’re definitely invited.”
“Before I answer that…Jimin how did you not know about Nick and him being Jungkook’s roommate?”
“Listen! Jungkook is always HERE! I never go over there! The few times I was there Nick was never home okay?!” Jimin whines obnoxiously.
“Okay, whatever. And Jungkook, I said—”
“You said group hang outs.” Jungkook pouts.
Oh. You did say that. But this soon? And is she going to be there?
You chew on your lips before answering, “Okay. But I’m bringing Trina and Holly.”
“Oh bro, Trina is not your biggest fan.” Jimin cuts in.
“Yeah, I know how she is I already anticipated that.” Jungkook shrugs, he looks at you with a small smile.
Okay, starting over? Taking it slow? Can you and Jungkook do this? You look between the boys and smile,
“Okay. See you boys on Thursday.”
644 notes · View notes
serumandsteel · 3 years ago
Text
the way we heal | jj maybank
- pairings: jj maybank x reader
- summary: people deal with trauma in different ways but it seems that jj thinks you don't care about the loss of your friends and deep down himself but he just needs to understand that people heal in their own time and through their own meanings, he just needed to be reassured of it. kinda pre season 2 ep 1 give ot take
- warning(s): really motherfucking angsty and swearing. mention of substance abuse
- wc: 2.2k :))))
a/n: all my fics the pogues and reader are the age 17/18 only because that's more comfortable for me to write. its been a long long time since i have wrote something so sorry for and spelling errors
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People tend to deal with trauma differently. It could be resulting to crying you eyes out until you can’t breath and you can’t see through your tears clouding your eyes. Drinking until your liver wants to shut down and you whole body is so numb that yourself and everyone around you is so tuned out that you can’t function. Resulting to drugs to either feel something or not to feel anything at all. Or to have something to blame your actions on from yourself acting out simply because you don’t know how to handle the situation of a friend dying.
See you on the other hand dealt with it internally or the whim and feeling of not accepting death. Maybe it was your subconscious talking wanting you not to accept or maybe it was the gut feeling that you always got telling you that they were actually alive and have survived that storm that ‘supposedly’ had swept them away because “no body was found”.
This ‘gut feeling’ had always been right in many life or death situations. Or even just you picking out an outfit that you were unsure of whether it was going to get the boys attention that you had a crush on. It did indeed get his attention that night because that’s how you ended up loosing your virginity that night but that’s besides the point.
The best way you could describe it was like when people would do personality tests and it would ask “are you controlled by your heart or what you feel” probably not those exact words but you get the point. I felt with my feelings if my gut said yes then it was a yes.
Since the night that John B and Sarah had ‘died’ your gut had been telling you the opposite. That they were in fact not dead. As Big John use to say when you were a kid, you can never kill a Routledge. At the time it seemed like bullshit but now it was starting to grow on you.
However now your two friends were presumed dead and not everyone dealt with trauma like you did. Some would even go as far to say that you didn’t actually give a fuck that your friends were dead because you hadn’t cried or you hadn’t drunk yourself into a state of no return or resulted to smoking weed every single day and spray painted ‘murder’ on Ward Cameron’s estate. But at least Kiara wasn’t lying.
But the thing was you hadn’t cried because you couldn’t, you quite literally hated crying because it made you feel weak. Even if you tried and you tried your hardest but nothing came. At this point you could go as far as denial. This gut feeling was like getting hit by a semi truck every time a thought came into your head questioning maybe they were dead. Maybe they did get swept away at sea and never to return.
Your gut feeling was simply not letting you mourn the loss of John B and Sarah and now everyone thought you were an emotionless bitch. I mean they were right to a point but not the whole point.
So that brought you to current day driving around the Cut and night playing fucking real life Where’s Wally but its Where’s JJ Maybank because he’s blacked out drunk somewhere and now you’re on a rescue mission. Not like you had done enough of those in the last few weeks.
About an hour ago your phone rang and it was JJ asking you to come pick him up since somehow he had now idea where he had ended up and was too far gone to put together his surroundings. Well that’s what you had assumed he said since you had to decipher his slurred words.
At this point you had driven around the whole island and gone to every hid out spot that he would go smoke at or to just get away from everyday life. You had gone to all but one place. Where you avoiding that particular house because it held so many memories, plus the fact you hadn’t been near the place since shit hit rock bottom. Yes? But it was the highest chance that JJ was sitting on that dock with his legs swinging over it with a beer in hand.
Well you were right. As you walked down the old dock to where JJ was sitting it was if you could feel all the emotions, thoughts and disbelief crawling their way up your skin from the ground you were walking on. But that gut feeling was like a wave of fire, burning it all the way back to the ground.
“I don’t know why I just didn’t look here first. I should have known aye” you half heartedly said trying to keep the conversation light since you didn’t know what state JJ was going to be in. From the huff you got in response told you he wasn’t in the mood to talk.
“How much have you had J?” You asked with concern but still trying to keep you voice light and less reprimanding because you knew he was in a too fragile state for you to be angry.
“Does it even matter how much Iv had. I don’t feel shit anymore” he replied back with his words straight forward and sobered.
“Well have you even given yourself a break for your body to sober up for you to even feel the effects of it? Or have you still been going since yesterday when I saw you? J its not going to do shit if you don’t give it a rest for at least a day or so” you said back trying you best to keep you and your voice as calm as possible. You fucking hated seeing JJ like this, you would never say it to his face but fuck it just reminded you of his dad when he got into states like this. Until the last week you had never seen JJ this bad. But could you blame him.
“You just don’t get it do you” JJ was now facing you and by the tone of his voice you had unintentionally struck a nerve that you were actively avoiding. “Why did you even fucking come if you’re just going to tell me how I should cope. Do you even care that JB has gone? He was our best fucking friend. He was my fucking brother my only family! And he’s fucking gone just like his old man. You haven’t even shed a tear y/n. You’re just acting like nothing had happened. Do you even care!” JJ was now on his feet breathing heavily and his jaw so clenched you’re surprised his teeth haven’t broken
“J, please do not yell at me right now” you asked with your voice shaking trying to hold back something that was bubbling at the surface. Was it anger or was it the water works that desperately needed to be let out.
JJ started to walk back up the dock, showing that he was done with this conversation that he could have avoided if he didn’t ask you in the first place to come pick him up. Deep down he knew that you would be the only one to come and get him, he just wasn’t as good at showing his gratefulness due to the alcohol that was numbing him.
“JJ just wait please, please don’t walk away” You stood back up and starting walking after him quick on the backs of his feet. He halted his tracks and turned around to look at you with a pained look in his face, as you got up close you could see his eyes stained red. Either from crying or the linger of weed still in his system.
“What could you possibly want to say y/n. I really thought you would be the last person not to care about this” JJ was now right up in your face and his voice was holding back trying his best not to yell. But that last sentence had taken you back.
“You think I don’t care JJ!” now you starting yelling “of course I give a shit JJ our friends are gone, they are not fucking here. I know it might not seem that I don’t care. But just because I’m not crying my eyes out every hour or drinking myself into a state where I don’t now where the fuck I am or getting high that I spray paint on any wall I see” your breath was now battling to come to the surface because you were talking so fast.
“Just because Im not doing any of those things doesn’t mean I don’t care JJ! People deal with this shit differently and you need to understand that” you breathed out trying to grasp for air again “the thing is JJ I have this annoying gut feeling thats telling me that John B and Sarah are not dead, and its literally preventing me to mourn them. I have convinced myself that they are alive and I can’t fucking mourn non dead people J. I don’t know how to fucking explain it”
“Well why didn’t you just tell us that” he replied after bit letting your whole rant sink into his brain, weaving its way through the alcohol that was clouding it.
“Because JJ! Even saying that out loud I sound fucking crazy, like I’m in a deep pit of denial. The thing is I’m far from denial. Yes I know there is a massive fucking fat chance that they are dead and have been food for the sharks” you exclaimed
“Don’t make it worse y/n” JJ shook his head not very happy with your choice of words
“Okay yeah sorry bad wording. Im sorry” you lowered your head in sorrow wanting to slap yourself in the face for trying to make jokes out of trauma.
“So its not that I don’t care J, trust me I do care. But John B and Sarah are not physically here with us and I cant physically care for them right now. But when we see them can do that”
“Y/n -“ JJ tried to get a word in but you hadn’t finished
“Don’t JJ. We will see them again” you put an emphasis on ‘will’ “I trust my gut and even you know that when I get a gut feeling that it’s always been right. Correct?”
“Yes but -“ he tried to get another word in but you needed him to listen.
“JJ I care about you. I care about Kiara and Pope. You guys are physically here for me to care for. The thing is I haven’t spoken to Kie since she’s with Pope half the time and I have spoken to Pope since he’s with Kid half the time and you? I can’t speak to you because your too far gone in beers to for me to even get a coherent conversation in” This was such an over due conversation to be had, you were now on the verge of hyperventilating. You needed JJ to hear this. Fully sober would have been better but half sober is the best you’re gonna get.
“JJ I understand if that’s how you’re going to deal with all of this but you can’t throw yourself completely away. We need you. I need you JJ. I can’t have you going off the deep end and then we loose you too. You need to be here for when we get John B back. He will need you for when he’s back”. The water works that you had been holding back had finally been released and trust it to be in front of JJ. He was your fucking rock, you couldn’t loose him. No way that would be your last day on earth if that were to happen.
“I-. Im sorry. I’m just so fucking lost y/n. I don’t know what the fuck to do. You’re always at work and Kie and Pope are god knows where. I just want this to go away so fucking bad. All this pain, I feel like I have no one” JJ was now crying to and gripping your waist as is you could float away into the air
“I know JJ, but you have us you have always had us. But you have to be so stubborn sometimes that you won’t let us in and help, you won’t let me in a help you” you had JJ’s face in your hands making him look at you so he knew you meant every single word. “I’m so sorry if you didn’t think I cared and I wasn’t there to help you, I just deal with this shit in a different way. Just like every single other person. We all heal differently and that’s okay. It dosent mean we care less. It doesn’t mean I care less”
Now there you and JJ stand on the dock leading off the chateau both in each others embrace purging the pain that’s both been locked up inside you for so long. The past you and JJ had people really didn’t tend to understand but neither did you. But you would always find your way back to each other at the end of the day. Despite the fights you had in the past and the days you would be at each others throats screaming at each other to the days you would be secretly stealing a glance at him because you just couldn’t help yourself.
You would always be there to help him take the pain away and he was always be there to do the same for you.
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lily-drake · 3 years ago
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Death
Death was nothing new in Marinette’s life.  In fact it played a large role.  Her friends and city had died a hundred times over.  Her brother.  Her funny, smart, loving, dramatic brother had died at the hands of a mad man.  She didn’t think it was wrong for her to use the horse miraculous to visit her brother's grave.  It was officially five years after all.  He would be 20, he would have loved to plan out her 16th birthday this year.  She sat down and read Pride and Prejudice out loud, only a few tears falling as she glanced at the grave every so often.  She had also brought a bouquet of white lilies, statices, red carnations, and white daisies.  Soft grass laid over the dirt, the sun gleamed above, and sometimes when she would lean against the grave it was almost like she could feel him.
Dark storm clouds began to cloud the sky, and she knew she would have to leave soon, though she didn’t want to.  Dad would be upset if he caught her, though considering how many weeds she had to remove from the grave and how abandoned it looked, she doubted anyone had visited any time soon.  Suddenly the rain began to pour down and it felt like the earth shook.  She felt a great imbalance, but where, and how?  She touched both of her ears and she could feel her miraculous still there, Tikki even poked her head out from her bag with a look of fear.  A shiver ran down Marinette’s spine as rain came pouring down soaking everything in sight.  She looked around, and she kept spinning searching for something, anything that could have caused or been affected by the imbalance.  She waited there for many minutes just waiting, when she felt the dirt beneath her feet begin to shift a little.  She quickly moved away and watched as the dirt slowly moved and shifted.  She felt sick, because the dirt moving was directly where Jason was lying in eternal rest.  This couldn’t be right, this must be some mistake!  Her brother had died, she had seen the body, it haunted her nightmares for so many nights.  He’s been gone for five years!  This can’t be possible without some type of wish.
The grass began to move and shift away, and a fleshy mud covered hand raised from the ground causing a scream to rip from her lungs.  Her body sprung into action before her mind caught up to her beginning to help dig up her brother's grave, and when she saw the jet black hair covered in dirt and mud she knew that it was him.  She heaved him out from the hole and stared in shocked horror as he just sat there staring at her.  His eyes were the same blue she remembered, but they were so clouded.  Fear, confusion, and nothing shown in his eyes, like he wasn’t even truly there.  This must be a dream, it has to be, no, a nightmare.  Her brother shouldn’t be back, he died, she saw his limp body in dad’s hands, even if Alfred and bluebird tried to stop her.  But the imbalance was real, she could tell, and he was affected by it.
Slowly she raised her hand and hesitantly placed a hand on his cheek.  He leaned into her hand, though his eyes were still clouded and void.  He may be alive, but he wasn’t fully…alive.  She tackled her older brother into a hug and began sobbing onto him, but just sat there, head leaning against hers.  Pressing her ear against his chest she could hear his gentle heartbeat, and just for a moment everything seemed like it would be ok.  Then she felt a sharp prick in her neck and the world faded to black.
________
Marinette awoke to darkness.  She tried to sit up and felt her hands held behind her back being held together by something cold and thick.  Memories flooded back into her mind and she snapped into awareness and looked around.  It was dark, though there was a small light coming from a window far above where she could not ever reach.  The walls seemed to be made of thick stones and there was a heavy iron door a few feet in front of her.  Jason wasn’t there though, he wasn’t in the room, she didn’t understand.  Suddenly the door opened and she looked up and saw her mother’s green eyes.  Her panic grew again, how did she get here, was she captured too?  She had visited her often in Paris.  She was very vague about her job, and she knew it was probably sketchy, but could it be bad enough to be captured?
“Marinette, My Darling.  I apologize for your treatment, I did not realize that you were part of this.”
Talia rushed towards her daughter and unlocked the chains.  She was pulled into a tight hug that Marinette quickly returned.  After a few moments she pulled away but held her shoulders gently.
“I must show you something, come.”
Talia quickly stood and helped her daughter to her feet and walked swiftly through the calls of Nanda Parabat.
“What is mom?”
Talia smiled at that, she had always loved when her daughter called her that.
“It’s a surprise, My Flower.”
A few more twists though hallways and they stopped in front of a thick wooden door.
“I want you to meet someone.”
The door was pushed open and there sat a small baby in a crip with dark black hair, tanned skin, and dark green eyes.  Marinette gasped and covered her mouth,
“Meet your brother, Damian.”
Marinette slowly walked over and stared at Damian through the top of the crib.  He silently watched and studied her without making a sound.
“He’s about 3 months old.”
Talia said, smiling happily as she watched her daughter run her fingers through Damian’s small tresses of hair.  With a snap of her finger one of her shadows stepped next to her.
“Bring Jason.”
And with that order they were gone returning a few minutes later with a boy who was alive physically, but was mentally gone.  She could fix that though, it would be the last resort if all else failed, but she could fix it.  Marinette looked up when she heard Jason’s footsteps and her bright smile fell slightly into a small sad one.
“Jay-Jay.”
She whispered softly as she took slow steps towards the boy.  She quickly ran and hugged him again.  He no longer smelled like mud and he wasn’t wearing his suit, and he was….he was alive again!  Tears fell down her cheeks, because she missed him so much.
________
Marinette stayed with her mom in what she learned was Nanda Parabat.  She trained with Jason, but he was catatonic, just going through the motions blankly.  It worried her, especially as she watched her mother grow more anxious.  She cared for her little brother, and wondered if her dad knew, or if he would even care.  She often looked at Paris news for when she needed to go for Akuma attacks, but if her host parents even realized she was gone.  They hadn’t, nor had any of her “friends” apparently as they hadn’t sent her a single thing from the weeks she’s been gone.
Marinette knew that Nada Parabat wasn’t a good place, knew that the people were bad, knew that her grandfather was the head of it.  He didn’t seem to care who she was, he just thought she was some nurse for Damian, and she was thankful for that.  She knew that the Lazarus Pits were here, what they did, how they were made, how her grandfather used them for selfish purposes.  She didn’t do anything though, she was mad at her father for sending her away, mad that he adopted a bee kid only a year after he sent her away, mad that he never talked to her, mad that Dick never fought for her or looked for her, mad that Jason was forced to wake up and climb his way out of his grave only to be practically brain dead, mad that her classmates believed lies over her, mad that her host parents believed them and treated her like dirt or an invisible object meant to seen and not heard, mad that Chat Noir would leave her during battles because she didn’t return his affections, and mad that no one cared that she was gone!  So she trained as hard as she could, made sure that she perfected everything her mother threw at her.  Took care of her family and made sure they knew how thankful she was for them and loved them.  Then when she finally got a text from someone it was insults for being a horrible person and hurting Lila when she hadn’t been there for weeks!
She threw her phone at the wall and the crack echoed around the room.  Her breathing was harsh and ragged and then the tears she had been holding back finally fell.  Sobs wracked her body as she bit her lip to keep silent.  She tried to take in deep shuddering breaths, but it was no use and the sobs came out.  Her knees felt weak and she crumpled to the ground.  The door burst open and she saw her mom there knife in hand looking around the room with swift deadly eyes.  When she didn’t see any visible threats she kneeled in front of her daughter and looked directly into her eyes.  Eyes a storming blue that flooded with tears and made her heart ache and her want to murder whoever made her precious daughter look so broken.
“My Flower, what’s wrong?”
“N-nobody cares ab-about me!  No one cares that I’m g-gone.  Everyb-body hates me, and I’m so tired of it!  I’ll n-never be enough for an-anybody and I’m t-trying so h-hard to do wh-what everyone needs or exp-ects me to be!”
Marinette stuttered out between sobs.  Talia glared at that and felt anger at Bruce.  She thought that he at least checked in with her every once in a while.  She had guessed wrong then.  She pulled her daughter into a hug and let her cry against her shoulder.
“Shh, shh.  It’s okay.  You are perfect the way you are Marinette.  You don’t have to prove anything to me.  You’re such a good sister, you train so hard, and you have so many amazing skills and talents.  You are enough, don’t let anyone say anything different.”
Marinette gripped onto her mom and they both just sat there in silence as Marinette finally just cried.  After who knows how long Marinette gently pushed away and looked her mom directly in the eyes with complete seriousness said,
“I want you to help me fake my death.  If everyone wants to pretend I’m gone or wants me to disappear, then fine.  I will.  I don’t want to be seen anymore.”
Talia stared at her daughter in shock for a moment then gave her a small smile.
“It will be done my dear, you will be free.”
“Thank you mom.”
Taglist:
@queenz-z @aespades @fandomsaremylifeline @stainedglassm @toodaloo-kangaroo @prettylittlebutterflie @trippingovermyfeet @liquid-luck-00 @unoriginalmess @buginetye @miraculouslydumb @laurcad123
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emerald-chaos · 4 years ago
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Touchdown
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*gif not mine, credit goes to the owner*
I just want to take a moment to say thank you for the love on my last fic! It made my lil ole heart swell to see that peopled enjoyed it enough to leave a like or reblog.
This is just something special I had in my arsenal that I wrote for a friend a few months ago. I touched it up a bit and added a few things here and there. It all started when we were talking about how much we loved when Chris' accent got heavier after he'd been drinking, and well, I couldn't help myself lol. I hope you enjoy the fluff! xoxo
I apologize for any grammatical errors, I tried to proof-read but am also a little exhausted lol.
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Word Count: 2844
Warnings: I don't think there's anyway? Mentions of being drunk/drinking alcohol, cursing, and illusions to sexy times, but that's about it.
You hadn’t noticed how furiously your knee was bouncing up and down until the person sitting next to you on the subway got up to move seats once the train squealed to a stop. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your thighs. Normally being a little late didn’t bother you as much, but tonight you were meeting him.
You flipped your wrist over to check your watch. 8:30pm. In all honesty, it had probably been only thirty seconds later than when you checked it the last time. Another deep sigh escaped from your lips as you started to become hyper aware of the train remaining still at the current stop. What could possibly be taking so long? You knew he wouldn’t care if you were running late, but the time the two of you had together already felt so minuscule. You wanted to capitalize on every second you could.
The train began moving again and you slumped back into your seat, feeling only a small amount of relief. It was becoming painfully apparent that you needed to try and relax. You could feel the sweat building up on your body, the sting on your palms from where your fingernails were pressing in with a vengeance moments ago, and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears. Your hand dug around in your purse for a few moments before finding the small case you were looking for. Opening it, you slipped your headphones into your ears and let your head rest on the window behind you as music intertwined with your thoughts.
Once upon a time, you made fun of people who decided to go to grad school. What kind of a clown would spend thousands of MORE dollars and go BACK to school?? Not to mention the stress of the assignments, the due dates - it was not for you...or so you thought.
Now here you are, a regular booboo the fool.
NYU’s graduate program for design and merchandising wasn’t necessarily part of your 5-year plan, but when the opportunity landed in front of you it was difficult to pass up. NYU was a school you had only dreamt of attending back in high school. When you were a senior in high school you were able to tour the campus and fell in love immediately. Hours upon hours were spent researching grants, scholarships, and all sorts of ways to try to make it happen. However, the dream ended as most teenage dreams do - crushed. There was no way you or your parents could afford the loans that it would surely wrack up to attend the out of state university, and there was no way you could ask your parents take on that kind of debt just so you could go to college. UMass was the way to go - close to home and familiar. Not to mention you were able to obtain several scholarships and grants that helped bring down the cost tremendously. Little did you know, boring ole UMass would bring you one of the most important things in your life.
Applying for graduate school wasn’t an easy decision and one you couldn’t really take all the credit for. A smile crept across your face as you reminisced on the night you nervously brought up the idea to your long-term boyfriend.
“I think you should do it,”
“I know, right?” you scoffed, “it’s insane, why would I do something so stup...wait, what? You do?”
“Of course I do. This is something you love and that you’re passionate about. Do you know how many hours of my life were spent listening to you ramble about NYU?” he questioned with a grin.
“It will open up so many doors for you. We can make things work,” a chuckle escaped from those beautiful lips as he saw your dumbfounded expression. He wrapped his fingers around your waist and pulled you close, “What? Did you expect me to forbid it? Cmon, baby, what kind of guy do you take me for?”
You didn’t have a lot of wins in your life, but you did have Chris.
When you got accepted, he took off a week from work to drive you 3 and a half hours south to help get you settled and moved into your temporary new home. The two of you ate a disgusting amount of pizza, moved a ridiculous amount of heavy furniture in the middle of a summer heat wave, and enjoyed each other’s company before the long-distance thing would set in. Chris spent that week encouraging you every step of the way, talking you off the ledge when you were convinced you had made the wrong decision, and made sure to help you christen every possible surface of your new place in the most deliciously sinful way.
You bit your lip slightly at the thought and a warm feeling spread across your face. Chris was one of the most incredible people you had met in this world. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, passionate, and god was he sexy. The connection the two of you had was scary at first, but now you just couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.
The robotic voice came over the loud-speaker in the subway car and you were rudely ripped back to reality as it pulled into your stop. You hurriedly scooped up your bag and jogged off the train.
It had been a promise between the two of you when you moved that there would be equal effort when it came to visiting and keeping in contact while having good, open communication. Long distance was hard but the two of you were determined to make it work. FaceTime calls, hours upon hours of texting, and even as far as writing the occasional letter back and forth (because your boyfriend was a hopeless romantic and you loved it so much). This weekend was your turn to come home to visit, and of course your last class had to go longer than anticipated. Fuckin’ Tiffany and her stupid ass questions.
The muscles of your calves burned as you kept up your hurried pace, weaving through the crowds of people gathered on sidewalks outside of various clubs and restaurants. It was a weekend night and the Patriots were playing, which meant the city was more alive than usual. New York was it's own beast, but it was a different type of hustle and bustle. Nights like these made your heart ache for home - the thick Massachusetts accents, the rowdy voices of bar patrons arguing about the game, the hugs shared between family members as they parted after dinner, and the faint smell of nicotine and alcohol that hung in the air.
As the neon sign that hung in the pub window came in to view you felt your heart dip down into your stomach. Last weekend’s visit had to be cancelled due to some stuff coming up with Chris’ work and a surprise assignment for you, so you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in 2 weeks. With a deep breath you swung open the door and scanned the crowd for him. He told you that he would be there promptly at 7:15pm for pregame shenanigans with his friends - which actually translated to how many pitchers of beer could they suck down before kick off.
“Aw, come ON! That is such a bullshit call!”
You heard him before you saw him. Of course. A grin spread across your lips as you shook your head. The thought of leaving to avoid secondhand embarrassment crossed your mind briefly before you picked up your feet and made your way through the crowd toward the sound. A room full of people from New England and you would still recognize that voice anywhere.
Everyone else seemed to fade away as you saw the outline of the tall, dark haired man standing at the bar. The slight freckles that spattered the back of his neck, the Brady jersey that he spent WAY too much money customizing, and the signature backward ball cap were ingrained in your subconscious memory. Not to mention if you didn’t recognize his outline or his voice, you would definitely recognize that ass anywhere.
You loved how passionate he got about sports and the way his Boston accent seemed to get thicker with each beer he consumed. Growing up in the area, you wouldn't think the accent would send a tingle down your spine the way it does, but it was different - it was Chris. Not to mention the sparkle in his eye when he would watch his favorite team or the way he would get in to arguments whenever someone tried to say something negative about them. You loved your big, handsome, over-sized toddler man so damn much.
A light tap on his shoulder made him whip around, his slightly opened mouth from his interrupted conversation curved upwards into a wicked grin as he made the connection of who was finally standing in front of him.
“Hey there, handsome. I don’t see a ring on your finger. You single?” You grinned, feeling your entire body fill with warmth as Chris leaned back and grabbed his chest as he erupted in laughter.
“Nah, nah, nah, unfortunately for you I am taken” he responded as he snaked his arms around your waist, sliding his hands into your back pockets as he pulled you into his figure.
“That is too bad,” you tsk'd, running a finger down his toned bicep, “she’s one lucky girl.”
“I think I’m the lucky one,” he grinned. He leaned down to meet your lips in a kiss. You sighed into it, allowing your body to mold itself so perfectly into his. The taste of beer on his lips and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating - it was home. You immediately allowed him entrance as you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip. Your body felt small in his strong grip and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as he gave your ass a firm squeeze. Normally, this type of bold, public display of affection would make you cringe away but at this point you were lost in Chris that you had absolutely no shame. Each time the two of you embraced had always felt like the first. Your heart still fluttered and your knees still got weak, like you were a 16 year old being kissed for the first time.
In the middle of your reunion moment, however, something happened in the game that made the entire bar erupt in boo’s and curses. Chris lifted his lips from yours to look over his shoulder and inspect what he had missed. You laughed and shook your head as you pushed him back towards his friends and took a seat in the bar stool he had been standing behind initially. His large hands found a natural place on your shoulders. While his eyes remained glued on the TV he began applying a moderate amount of pressure to your neck and shoulders. You didn’t realize how much your body craved that touch, his touch, until you immediately melted back into him.
The bartender slid a beer in front of you with a wink and you mouthed your thanks. You felt a twinge in your heart as you looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the bar. This was a typical weekend night for the two of you whenever you were living together. Football, drinks, pub food, and friends. If it wasn’t this pub it was your living room, just a couple blocks away. You didn’t even mind that it was your first night back and you weren’t alone, spending it immediately wrapped up in your satin sheets. The atmosphere, the people - it was so warm and familiar that you really wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Plus, being wrapped up together in the sheets was sure to follow.
“I missed you,” hummed a pair of lips as they placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your neck. You reached up a hand and connected it to the nape of his neck.
“I missed you too,” you replied, turning your head to plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.
His arms changed position as he wrapped them in front of your shoulders and crossed them, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed his forearms as you nursed your beer and placed your focus onto the game for the first time tonight.
The laughter seemed to escape from your chest naturally and effortlessly the entire night, as it always had a habit of doing when Chris was around. The camaraderie between him and his buddies during a game was something you’d grown to enjoy over the years. Chris’ competitive nature and the way his jaw clenched when something wasn’t going the way he wanted was always kinda...hot. All of his friends were huge assholes, but in the best way. It was always entertaining to hear them jab at each other and do what they could to rile someone up. They were the life of every party you had ever attended and they had a way of making a boring night a lot more interesting.
Thankfully (for the integrity of the bar) the Pats won the game with a surprise touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game. Chris, being the guy he is, bought a final round for his friends and a nearby group they had been going back and forth with all night. You couldn’t help but laugh as he drunkenly leaned across the counter and slurred his order to the bartender.
“I need a round for m’friends and for these assholes over here who thought Tom Brady was anything but a winner!” the group started yelling in protest and he simply waved them off and started sliding beers down the bar.
The group eventually moved to a bigger round top so everyone could shoot the shit and banter about the outcome of the game. You were tucked into Chris’ side, hands intertwined as he was passionately discussing the importance of Brady’s legacy with a stranger who made the mistake of stopping to talk to him. Your eyes followed the motion of your thumb as it traced small circles onto the back of his. Your other hand under your chin, holding up the weight of your head as your exhaustion started to catch up with you. Chris, although slightly drunk, picked up on your body language and raised your hand to his lips for a kiss.
“Alright, fellas,” he said as he stood up from his seat, pulling you up with him, “the lady and I are gonna call it a night. See you boys next weekend”.
“Chris, we don’t have to go,” you began to protest as he tucked his jacket around your shoulders.
“Mm, ‘course we do,” he replied with a soft smile, “you’re so tired, baby. I can see it in those beautiful eyes”.
You could feel your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you rolled your eyes at his attempt at laying it on thick. After what felt like a proper 10 minute goodbye session, the group said their final goodbyes, hugs included, and you walked out of the pub hand in hand.
The walk home was filled with the sounds of cars passing by and conversation of what each other had missed in the week prior. Small talk typically felt like such a chore, but with Chris every conversation came naturally. Even when he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about, he would listen intently and ask all the questions as if it was the most interesting conversation in the world.
The lock on the apartment door clicked as you pushed it open and entered. You smiled as you stopped into the middle of the living room, taking in the home you missed so dearly. A soft tapping of toenails against the hardwood made your heart soar as you met the eyes of your sweet pup, Dodger. A squeal left your lips as you squatted down to give love to the sweet boy. Chris always made fun of you when you came home, saying that you always seemed to miss Dodger more than you did him and I mean, he wasn’t entirely wrong about that statement.
Once again lost in your own world, you didn’t even notice Chris leaned up against the wall watching you with a smile.
“Oh my god,” you gushed, standing up, “do you like...like me or something?”
Chris grinned as he crossed the room and caught your belt loop with his finger, pulling you into him slowly.
“Yeah,” his voice had dropped down an octave, “you could say that”.
“Mm,” your tongue swiped across your lower lip and you wrapped your arms around his neck, “care to show me how much?”
The look in his eyes made your core burn. The tension building between you two became too much to handle as you crashed your lips into his. The kisses were messy and you could feel the sense of urgency between you two. His beard scratched against the column of your throat with a delicious burn as he left wet kisses across your jaw and down the side of your neck. Chris’ hands found their way back into the ass pockets of your jeans as he started walking you back towards the direction of the bedroom.
Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and you felt very sorry for your neighbors. It had been a long time, but Chris always had a way of welcoming you home.
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superhero--imagines · 4 years ago
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Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here!
A/N: not superhero themed. I just read midnight sun and had this idea and I don’t feel like making another blog so.... hope you like twilight lol
There will be a part two, and just a reminder, I’m still looking for beta readers so DM if you’re interested!
* It probably starts with you reading midnight sun, you remember reading the books/watching the movies when you were younger.
* Man, you really forgot how bad this book was. The writing itself is good, but the plot...
* It’s like everything revolves around Bella, everything is created for her.
* You almost feel bad for the other characters
* Well, whatever, you’ll finish the rest of the book tomorrow and never think about that awful franchise again.
* When you wake up you feel an ache in your head. But you didn’t drink last night, maybe you’re dehydrated
* You shift, noting the smooth silk of the covers. Now you’re alarmed.
* You don’t have silk sheets
* You see a mirror in the corner of the room, and rush over
* The face that looks back at you is different then yours
* It’s the same in some ways, but different all the same
* The curve of your nose is slightly off, your lips are thinner, eyes a little closer together.
* The memories begin to flood in, in this world you were on a graduation trip with your parents, you got an all inclusive package. Three days of sightseeing in Volterra.
* You got sick on the last day, when you were signed for a tour of the castle, your parents went without you
* That was the last you saw of them
* You dumbly followed, asking question where you shouldn’t. And ended up at the volturi’s door
* Aro had grasped your hand to see how much you knew, only too see nothing. Likewise Jane’s powers did not work as well
* They were astounded by this, it appears this was several years before Bella was introduced to the story
* And so, you became a prisoner of the tower
* Your soul must have been in this body for quite some time, but you’ve only remembered now, that’s the only explanation for why their powers didn’t work on you. Your consciousness is not of this world.
* There’s a short knock on your door
* “Are you decent?”
* You call back and Alec pops his head in.
* “Ready to go to the library?”
* He looks so kind. The boyish grin that stretched across his face as you shook your head.
* It was in direct contrast to the sadistic personality you had become accustomed to in the books
* “I need a few more minutes”
* You half expect him to lash out at you for being slow. By he only nods, closing the door and waiting outside for you to finish.
* He was you friend. You realized
* He IS your friend
* You think back as you turn on the faucet. He didn’t like you at first, being assigned to guard a human was insulting
* But he started to warm up to you once he heard you play the piano
* This body was quite used to the ivory keys. And so you charmed him as best you could, half for your survival, because the happier you kept him the less likely he was to kill you.
* And half because- you were so lonely, the Loneliness echoed in this body like an ache. Suddenly an orphan, in a continent where you knew no one. All you had was this boy.
* How long have you been here? You kept a talley at one point, but abandoned it after the thirtieth day. What was the point? You would either die or become one of them
* A shiver erupts through at the thought, in your past life you were a vegetarian, you didn’t relish in the idea of killing something alive and moving.
* You pull on a sweatshirt, ripping of the chanel tag. They bought you the nicest things money could buy, the most lavish food you could have.
* They did the same thing with the tourists they lured, keeping them happy and well fed, the same way the cows that became wagyu beef might be cared for. That way when it came time to slaughter, the meal was that much more delicious.
* You suspected this was similar, that should you be an unnecessary addition, you would make a meal suitable for their palette
* Alec basically talks your ear off the entire way to the Volturi library, mostly about literature
* “What are your thoughts on Anna Kerenina?”
* “That the patriarchy needs to be burned to the ground.”
* “That is.... valid”
* He even talks when you’re at the library, much to the annoyance of a few of the other patrons
* “Which book are you looking for now?”
* You stop mid motion on the ladder and turn to look at him. His ruby eyes glowing, he looks bloated. Like he’s fed too much.
* “Alec, why are we friends?”
* You really should keep your mouth shut. Alec was the only real ally you had, you shouldn’t say anything that might put him off
* And yet, it unnerved you, because the Alec in front of you was a very different character then the one you had come to see.
* He looks at you like you hung the moon,
* “Because you’re the most interesting human in the world”
* You burst out laughing, earning several glares.
* “I-I’m sorry Alec, but I’m not, I’m just the most interesting human you KNOW, there’s way more people who are more interesting than me.”
* You expect to see him offended, and he does, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes
* “I’m not so sure about that”
* The days creep by, reading books, eating snacks, it’s nice
* You learn, that Alec hasn’t talked to a human in a very long time. Outside of the screams he heard after devouring one.
* He hasn’t been outside the castle walls in many years, possibly a century.
* “What’s the best part of the human world?” He asked you once
* It’s the 90’s, so smartphones haven’t been invented yet.
* “One tree hill and friends”
* “Well you have a friend right here”
* “No friends the show”
* “The what?”
* And that’s how you got Alec hooked onto cable television
* Who knew the cure to vampire- sadism was a healthy dose of Jennifer Aniston fumbling about on screen
* “Is this what life is like?”
* You shrug, it was what college had been like for you in your past life.
* “It’s kinda what schools like, but i never got to be on my own”
* This body was only 18 after all.
* Alec doesn’t say anything, but his expression falters
* Alec’s only now starting to understand the life you will be denied once Aro decides when to turn you
* Jane joins later
* One day when you and Alec are lazing around the library when she appears, she says nothing, just sits down next to Alec and reads a book
* You’re sure they hear the uneven thumping of your heart as you turn back to your book. Her power doesn’t work on you, you remind yourself
* Not that she even needs it, she could snap you apart like a Kit Kat bar
* And if it came down to it, you’re sure Alec would let her, he might like you but his loyalty’s always remained with his sister
* “So... you watch human television together?” Her bright red eyes flickered from Alec to you.
* You nodded, never sure what exactly it was that would set Jane off
* You had seen enough in the books to know her moods were compatible at best.
* “I would...like to join” she awkwardly looking away, and you were sure if she could, she would be blushing.
* Honestly it’s kind of cute.
* “Sure, the more the merrier”
* And that’s how you basically adopted the sadist twins
* It’s a little harder to get Jane to open up, but once you make a comment about how Phoebe was the best character in friends, she starts to open up
* “Humans are cruel, even when they’re kind it’s only because they want something from you.”
* “Is that what you think about me? That I’m only nice to you because I want something?” she meets your eyes for a few minutes before turning away
* “I’m not sure”
* You understand very gradually why they’re so twisted
* They’d been treated terribly during their human life, in every kind act lingered a dark shadow, in even minor misunderstanding the image of a monster
* Their centuries in the Volturi didn’t help. Under Aro’s ruthless tutelage, and Caius’s sadistic tendencies, They had no one they could trust but each other.
* They were only surviving just as you were
* “Sometimes I wonder how much of my loyalty is real, and how much of it is Chelsea.” She whispers one day, so quietly you barley hear it
* You rest your hand on hers, it’s the only comfort you could think to offer
* When Jane grasps your hand in hers, she breaks every bone in your hand
* She doesn’t understand the pained screams or your mangled hand fit a second, and then she realizes what she did
* Alarmed she carries you halfway around the castle screeching for someone to help
* You pass out from the pain, when you come to you’re in your bed, a very cold hand holding your own
* “How are you feeling?” You don’t recognize this vampire, but you don’t really know anyone outside of Alec and Jane.
* You feel light headed, a warm feeling washing over you, you must be on some strong drugs
* “My body’s still grieving, but my mind is sharp.”
* It’s incoherent at best, but there’s truth to it, your body is still grieving for your parents and the life you’ve lost, but your otherworldly mind is ten steps ahead, cross referencing every action.
* The man offers a short chuckle
* “You really did a number on your hand. I’ve done what I can but...”
* You look down to your hand, half surprised by the bright yellow cast encasing it
* You had figured you would wake up to be a vampire, it just made sense, these were unfamiliar human aches to them after all and vampirism was a simple and effective cure
* They must want something from you, if they’re keeping you human
* You suspect it’s something along the lines of how they waited until Jane and Alec were burning at the stake to save them, so their power would be that much more potent
* Maybe they’re doing the opposite with you, trying to make you as happy as possible to see what effect it has on your ability
* It’s too bad you don’t have one
* “Thank you for your hard work.” You mumble, being human for a little bit longer is well worth the pain.
* “How did you break your hand?”
* “I held Janes’ hand”
* Your doctor let’s out a short laugh
* “That sounds about right”
* You smile, it does sound right, of course you would break your hand that way
* The conversation flows naturally after that, you talk about all sorts of things
* “You think vampires have souls?” He quirks an eyebrow
* “I’m of the opinion that a soul is something you create through hardship and struggle, being able to live longer means that you have more opportunities to have the experiences that result in a soul”
* “That’s an intriguing notion, I wish I had brought my son with me.”
* You’re about to ask about his son, when you’re interrupted by the door swimming open
* “I heard you were awake, are you alright?” Alec rushes in, his eyes frantic
* “Yeah these drugs are top notch” you press the button that releases the pain killers and let out a giggle
* “Is that alright? Humans are awfully sensitive.” Jane pipes up from behind Alec, you hadn’t noticed her in your haze.
* Your doctor chuckles
* “I’m aware,” he’s smiling but it’s strained
* “What’s wrong?” You ask, he was so calm until a second ago, he doesn’t answer you
* “I’ll give you three a moment.”
* You only register he’s gone when you hear the door close
* The twins rush over to you, Jane is kneeled by your side, while Alec hovers over you
* “I-I’m sorry I hurt you, I forgot-I didn’t remember.” You we’re sure Jane would be crying if she could
* “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” You raise your cast encased hand and give her a gentle pat on the head. “From now on, physical signs of affection will just be one sided.” You joke, which makes Jane grin
* “I’ll practice with some animals before I try touching you again”
* The three of you chat for a bit, they’re both surprised by your cast and ask several questions about its “primary function”
* “I didn’t know there was a doctor here” you murmur, feeling drowsy
* “Carlisle’s not with the Volturi, he’s from another coven in the new world.”
* Your drowsiness flies away in a second
* “That was Carlisle?”
* Jane looks somewhat confused but nods.
* A flutter of hope erupts in your chest, it’s so strong even your grief stricken body feels it
* You might have a chance. It’s slim, Carlisle has a family he loves and needs to protect. But still, they were strangers once too. No different than you.
* It’s a way out of here
* The next few days follow in a drugged haze, Alec and Jane visit every so often, and Carlisle engages you in occasional conversation while checking progress on your hand
* “Why are your eyes gold?” You know, but well, you need him to believe the lie
* “It’s a bit of a long story” he says with a wary smile.
* “I’m not going anywhere”
* He sighs, a genuine smile encompassing his face as he recounts the tale.
* Even though you’ve already heard it all before, it still makes you cry
* Even in the haze, you know something’s.... off
* There’s something about the way Alec won’t meet your eyes when he talks to you, and the uneasy weight that lingers in the air whenever someone else is in the room
* On the third day, it’s Aro who visits you, Alec and Carlisle in tow behind him.
* “Oh my, all that internal bleeding, how awful”
* Even you can feel the insincerity, but it’s the first you heard about internal bleeding
* So that explains it, the drugs and the aches all along your body, it wasn’t just your hand, you were dying
* “Don’t worry, we’ll save you” Aro’s smile is cruel “won’t we Alec?”
* Alec looks afraid, almost pained, but he nods
* Ah, so this was punishment for Alec too. Until that moment, when Jane broke your hand, Aro must have been ignorant to how close the three of you had gotten.
* You close your eyes, you knew this would happen eventually. There were only two ending to this story, and it seemed one had finally been picked
* You feel a pinch on your neck, right above your collar bone, no worse than a flue shot.
* You wait for the pain, the vivid screams you remember from the books and movies, but it never comes.
* Instead it’s just a warm numbness that spreads across your neck and left shoulder.
* “It doesn’t hurt” you murmur, you feel a cold hand rest against your forehead, Alex’s hand.
* It’s so gentle, he must have practiced on some animals first, you think.
* “No the pain comes later.”
* And so you drift into inky black unconsciousness, the last sleep of your human life in this world.
* You dream that you’re sitting at the bottom of a tree, a fig tree, like the one Sylvia Plath wrote about
* Each fig a different path, half of them have already fallen off, dark, as they rot at your feet
* “How do you do it?”
* You look to your side and find the person who’s face you see in the mirror, they’re hugging their knees to their chest, dark circles under their eyes
* “How do I do what?” You ask, they bite their lip
* “How can you be so strong when you’ve just lost everything?”
* You see their eyes brim with tears, and you look away, to the tree that looks over you both
* “I don’t know” It’s the truth, you have an unfair advantage in this world, because you know all the secrets each person carries, while yours remain shrouded in darkness. And yet... it’s not why you persevere
* “All I do know, is that I want to give them hell”
* Your counterpart grins at that, and to your surprise, you feel a smile stretch out across your face
* Yeah, it’s not about power, you just want raise some hell in this backwards misogynistic world.
* “I guess that’s the one you’re picking then huh?” Your counterpart points to a fig, it’s on the tallest branch of the tree, so far out of reach it almost seems unobtainable
* But you only nod
* “Yeah, I think that’s the way I’m going to go”
* They look at you and smile.
* “If you ever get the chance, I hope you punch that jerk Aro right in the face”
* You laugh.
* When you finally awake, you’re still laughing. A smile etched onto your face.
* Everyone’s there, all looking at you with concerned glances.
* Yeah, you’re going to have a lot of fun in this world.
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