#the blorbs are all big and round

[fatguarddog]

Hutch, you GOTTA look up the Blorbs from Mario

"The blorbs are a mysterious disease that appears in Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. In the game, the disease spreads all over the Mushroom Kingdom and infects the Toads, causing them to grow large and round and rendering them mostly immobile, though they apparently can roll uncontrollably. It is caused by Blorb Mushrooms that Fawful sold to several Toads, similar to how he sells the Vacuum Shroom to Bowser. The entire case of the blorbs is wiped out by the Miracle Cure, which is created after Mario and Luigi find and merge all three Star Cures."

Mushroom disease that inflates you making you big and round???? Hello??????

[evolutionsvoid]

Of all the sapient races on the surface, Slimes are ones that get the worst reputation. Other species have a hard enough time accepting that a walking pile of goo is capable of thoughts and emotion, so it makes things worse when Slimes have difficulties understanding different cultures and rules. To them, there is no problem with rooting through the trash for food, or just eating whatever is in front of them. The body needs sustenance, so why does it matter where it comes from? Moldy bread or a pile of fruit some gentlemen was so kind to stack up and label with names and numbers, they all work as food! With their oblivious nature leading to a whole lot of unintentional theft and property damage, Slimes tend to be banned from many settlements. In the end, their kind often makes their homes in dumps and junkyards, feeding on the plentiful trash that is dumped. With all this, it is easy to see how other species see them negatively, with some folk going out of the way to hunt and kill them. Such attacks are horrible, but sadly frequent, as some view Slimes as easy target practice. In such terrible times, even Slimes need some help to defend themselves, but who could they look to? Who could beat back the forces of evil, and cleanse the tainted name of Slimeblend once and for all? Is there such a force, one to inspire hope, teamwork and community to all the little goops and globs? WHY, YES THERE IS! IT'S THE FIGHTY ABSORBIN SOUR DANGERS! A force that has come together for the sake of all Slimes, the Sour Dangers have sworn themselves to defend Slimes and Slime colonies, as well as work to improve their image in the eyes of other species. The Sour Dangers fight off would-be attackers and push back the evil hordes who may seek to harm the colony! They also are always ready to lend a hand for any community, be it carrying stuff or helping save the orphanage! With the power of teamwork and determination, there is nothing they cannot do! No task too big and no foe too tall! Even when faced with impossible odds and powerful enemies, the Sour Dangers have a secret up their sleeve. When there seems to be no hope left, they will combine their powers to create their ultimate form: The Mega-Blorb! Any wicked titan will crumble at the sight of such inspiring symbol, as their weapons of justice, righteousness and being sure to clean your pseudobody at least twice a day will always bring victory! When the day is saved and the people rejoice, the Sour Dangers will bid their farewells and return to the super secret base. There they can celebrate their victory with a round of delicious hamburgers, and ready their plans for their next big mission. Though they are symbols of hope and kindness, the Sour Dangers are careful to hide their secret identities when they are going about their normal lives. They will change their postures, shuffle around some of their parts and go by totally different names. These foolproof disguises allow them to blend in as normal Slimes, and to spy on evil doers as they plot their villainous deeds! This also allows them to burst into action when the moment strikes, as when the bad guys start to cause trouble, the citizens will listen to their hearts and cry out "boy I sure hope the Sour Dangers help us!" And BOOM, there they are! Ready to save the day! Everyone is always so surprised when the team blasts onto the scene from out of completely nowhere! You can always count on them to swoop in and stop the bad guys! Radical! Whose up for hamburgers?

  The members of the Sour Dangers are such (from left to right): Xanthic Ore - The slick and stylish member of the group, Xanthic Ore always has a one-liner for everything and is a pro at epic entrances. That sharp wit is much appreciated by the others, though it can get the group in trouble from time to time. Whatever problems may arise, they are quickly taken care of with their dual blades and metal spines! Xanthic Ore loves looking cool, and is the one member who never fails to show off when people are watching. When hiding, they go by the name "Yellow" instead. They form an arm of the Mega-Blorb, and are also responsible for yelling "Fighty" during their intro.   Vermilion Shard - The somewhat official leader of the Sour Dangers, Vermilion Shard makes the decisions and leads the team into battle. They have a mind for tactics, and always have a plan ready, even if all hope seems to be lost. They are quite observant and use this sharp mind to build ideas and plots that can stop evil before it even starts! Armed with their razor flail and glass armor, they smash and slice foes before sending them flying! When on the down low, they go under the pseudonym "Red." They form a leg of the Mega-Blorb, and are also responsible for starting the introduction, which usually goes "We are THE..." Onyx Shell - The kind and caring member, Onyx Shell is always looking out for others and likes to do good. They are always ready to offer comfort, and they will drop everything to lend a hand when needed. Onyx Shell strives to be loved by others, especially children, though it seems many are fearful of them. Their acts of kindness and willingness to help is all meant to get others to trust them. This caring means they fight extra hard to protect others, using their ivory hammer to pound foes into extinction! Back at the base, they are the unofficial cook of the group, as they whip up a mean hamburger. Sliced or boiled, they can make them any way you like! To disguise themselves in public, they go by the name "Black" instead. They form the chest of the Mega-Blorb, and are also responsible for yelling "Absorbin" during their intro. Coral Geode - The powerhouse of the team, Coral Geode is a force to be reckoned with. Stony gauntlets and a rocky cannon makes them a powerful foe, and they are good for heavy lifting! Coral Geode is a brash and bold individual, who never passes up an opportunity to show off their strength. They respect those who can hold their own in a fight, but also aim to inspire those who are weaker to improve themselves. At times, they will act as the training dummy for their teammates or those who want to learn fighting techniques, as their armor takes an absurd amount of punishment. When the team needs to remain inconspicuous, they will go by the name "Pink." They form an arm of the Mega-Blorb, and are also responsible for yelling "Dangers" during their intro. Cerulean Bole - The calm and collected teammate, Cerulean Bole is the one to rely one when you need wisdom. They keep a clear head about things and always seem to have sage advice when needed. To them, meditation and positive thoughts are powerful tools for people, as they promote a healthy mind. Stress is the mind killer, and Bole views that as one of their greatest foes. When dealing with others, they will always offer help for those who are troubled or scared. Though violence isn't always the answer, they can fight back with wooden boomerangs and their trusty bamboo pole! They go by the alias "Blue," when they need to keep out of sight. They form a leg of the Mega-Blorb, and are also responsible for yelling "Sour" during their intro. While the Sour Dangers do the best they can to defend their fellow Slimes and help around the community, most non-Slime folk have mixed feelings about them. Their attempts to help are indeed genuine, but their ultra-positive attitudes, blindness to social cues and theatric actions can make them a bit of an annoyance. Carrying heavy boxes for the elderly is nice, but all the back flips and shouting about teamwork is a little much. They do know how to hold their own in a fight, and frequently emerge as victors, but prepare for it to be quite the flashy show. If one does require assistance, you can count on them to do a decent job at it. Certainly do not hire them for stealthy or subtle work, as their sheer volume alone makes that impossible. Despite all this, they are pretty alright, resulting in them being neither worshiped or reviled. They aren't the best, but they are also not the worst, as most people would say they are the "So-So Sour Dangers." ------------------------------------------------------ What could this possibly be a reference to? No clue. Weird!

[the-order-of-fools]

Stage Enemies interacting with the Knightfucker (AKA reader)

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King Knight, of course, has his goldarmors. They were meant to serve King Pridemoor, but since a fool is now running the kingdom, they have to adapt. They're all tired and just doing their jobs in order to support themselves and their families, but the shit they have to put up with is incredible. The whiny little manchild king changes his mind over and over again when it comes to banquets, festivities and everything alike, and then has the royal audacity to criticize them instead. Due to the circumstances, some of them have resorted to becoming bootlickers, it's the only way they can survive. Though, bootlickers or not, they all agree on one thing: You're far better than their king.They were shocked when you complimented them for the first time. They thought King Knight could only get with someone as annoying and unpleasant as him, but luckily for them you're the loveliest person to have around. And you care about their feelings, damn. Finally, someone who has the sobriety of a responsible adult. Finally, someone who actually respects them and praises their efforts. They're pooling all their efforts into convincing King Knight to marry you. They don't want you to leave, please, stay with them. 

Polar Knight isn't known for being the warmest out of the Order. He lets the ice creatures do their thing, he welcomes the Spinwolves with gentle pats and watches them roam and play around the desolate, frozen lands that surround the Stranded Ship, when they're not busy fighting off nosy intruders. He doesn't do much else. He's caring towards them, but they always find themselves craving more - the harsh climate and lonely scenery must weigh on them as well. All of this, until you found your way into that forsaken place and, most importantly, into the heart of its lord. Now, the wolves keep running towards you for their daily dose of pats and belly rubs and someone to play with them in the snow. You're the perfect source of warmth for such a cold place like the Stranded Ship - and now that you're here, it seems like Polar has become a little bit warmer as well. A win-win for everyone.

Tinker Knight has three types of companions: Cogslotters, electrodents and you. His workers appreciate him quite a bit. He's truly a hardworker who puts a lot of effort and creativity into his gadgets, not to mention his giant robot. He's just and fair with them, praising those whose work he admires most. All of those who have worked for him have mostly pleasant occasions to recount. Even if he may be the shortest thing alive, he is still their number one dad. Your appearance startled them a little. Work is work, but you? How could they not raise a brow and whisper among themselves when they figured out that you and Tinker were more than friends. Debates took place, investigations were ran to see if you were truly who you pretended to be. As all the results came clear, they more or less stared at you aghast, suddenly realizing that their boss fucks. The electrodents cannot think or feel, they only move around, oblivious to the fact that their creator is fucking in the same room as them.

The Gulper Mages weren't so keen on accepting a stranger on the Iron Whale the first time they saw you. They're greedy things just like their captain, they don't want anyone to come and try steal their gold. The fish? They don't care, they simply swim around peacefully as long as they don't perceive any foul presence - and they seem to have a sixth sense for that. Still, the normally attentive Serprizes seemed not to be bothered by you, which caused great confusion among the Mages who largely relied on them to spot enemies. With time, even the most distrustful among Treasure Knight's ranks learned that you weren't someone to worry about - you were never interested in the Iron Whale's gold, but its captain. Soon, they came to know you better and realized how much of a pleasant presence you could be. Grapps came out of their dens just to look at you with their big round eyes and earn a good pat, Serprizes and Martars swam around you peacefully as you stretched out your hands to caress them as they crossed your path. Even Treasure Knight seemed more... peaceful around you, if not happy. The only thing that could make him happy was gold, and once the Mages saw that in him, they understood you valued just as much, they couldn't help but accept you with all the rightful honors - and no one had anything to object for.

The Flying machine is organized in the exact purpose of making the life of all intruders completely miserable. It's rather unsurprising that Hoverhafts are ready to slice and dice whoever comes through, minus the ladies and gentlemen Propeller Knight brings onto the ship. They're quite content with him as their captain. They all came here for adventure and they're sure as hell enjoying life to its fullest. With a such a suave and charismatic captain, their lives have reached higher than the sky. Thanks to this, they have managed to meet quite the interesting creatures in during their travels. Floatsomes are rather docile in nature unless an intruder is nearby. They can spend as much time as they want petting the harmless jelly blobs. Plantos are rather strange but adorable creatures that seem to be around the airship wherever they go. Their captain seems very fond of them, so very fond that he makes a point of showing you the dancing Plantos every night. It's quite a sight really, seeing them twirling in the skies above the lights of the Flying machine. The care their captain takes to invite you out every night makes them ponder: are you truly the one? You have been with him much longer than any other partner, is it truly more than a little romantic adventure of his? They're not here to judge, they only await their captain's commands.

Plague Knight doesn't seem to be very keen on taking care of his subordinates - some of the Plague Minions even seem to be scared by him, as he supposedly used to experiment on those who weren't efficient enough for his standards. However, they are slowly warming up to him again now that he has found someone to soothe his frustrations and convince him to turn a blind eye to their minor mistakes. You have become their angel and their best friend, and they couldn't be happier to welcome you in the Explodatorium and escort you to Plague Knight's lab every time you visit. At first, they weren't sure how to welcome a stranger - Plague Knight seldom lets people in, so it was only natural for the guardians to mistake you for an enemy. A Macawbe almost hit you in the head with a poisonous potion once, which taught you to always look up when you enter Plague Knight's not-so-humble abode. Ratsploders now run to you and then around you, waiting for you to lean down and pet them, Fairies (which normally are the most aggressive and unapproachable creatures in the kingdom) fly to you and swarm around you peacefully. If even Fairies accept you as part of the family, you have nothing to be scared of anymore.

The Leech Yard has, what the kids call, "spoopy vibes". Its inhabitants are usually undead monsters. That isn't to say that there aren't adorable little critters who you would absolutely die for. Tadvolts will zap you if you touch them, but gosh, look at them, they even have little crown-like crests. How can you not pet them? You're not quite sure what Invisishades are (as you have cleverly called them much to Specty's chagrin), but gosh, you love these things. You're at least partially sure that they're not actually the ghosts of late mortals (still, Specter Knight refuses to answer you thoroughly), so you try and fail to pet them every second of your trip. Man, you sure hope you aren't petting the ghost of a human or animal or else that would be weird, unless they're furies that is. Boneclangs act more like... servants. They're weird, and they stare at you through their eyeless sockets most if not all the time. Specter can turn their heads with a flick of his finger, but you like to keep them that way. You like to think they are appreciating you in their own weird, spooky way. Zambies are even weirder. They shuffle around awkwardly around the swamp. You have tried talking to one once but then he decided that your face would look better pressed against a gravestone. Thankfully, you happen to have the speend and energy of a living person. Sucks to be dead, Zambies. Of course, you have had more than one interaction with Super Skeletons. You're not quite sure why they call themselves that, but they might as well call themselves super if they're giants. You suppose they're Specter's right hand men, but they're also lovable doofuses that are dimmer than a candle in the rain. Still, you're quite fond of these giant babies.

The miners in the Lost City usually don't expect visits (unless it's another one of those annoying heroes), as Mole Knight is known for his dedication to his work and consequent lack of interpersonal relations. That seems to be a recurring topic among the members of the Order of No Quarter, although it's not commonly tackled. Mole Knight seems not to mind, he gets the most happiness out of an ancient artifact or peculiar stones anyway - until he met you, of course. Now, the most valuable of gems seem mere pebbles in comparison to you, and he is always happy to show you around the mines (that's how you discovered the wonders of Big Bohto rides) and share his knowledge with you. Molers pop out of the ground from time to time to greet you, others -the shyest- hide in the ground whenever you approach them to give free pats. There are even Molers that hide their face behind their claws whenever you kneel in front of them to pet them and compliment them for their hard work, and you can bet your knightfucker ass they're absolutely adorable. If Mole Knight had a face, he'd aww too. Blorbs are the most peculiar among all, and they all seem to have quite the jolly personality. Some of them jump right into your arms (unless they're Blazorbs, of course - they wouldn't want to set Mole Knight's beloved "friend" on fire, now would they?). Good thing that they're gummy and you can squeeze them as much as you want, they're the perfect anti-stress balls.

Terrorpin may seem intimidating at first glance... afterall, it's a spiky turtle mixed with a rhinoceros, it looks ready to impale everything that treads on its path. For that reason, you give it the best pats. You're already hanging around Black Knight, you're used to small intimidating things. Still, Terrorpin is huge, but like anything related to Black Knight, you find it absolutely adorable. You would die for it. It's huge and dumb and it likes salads and god you keep its shell shinier than Treasure Knight's gold. Black Knight may (not so gently) order you to stop spoiling it, but fuck him, this is wholesome turtle time and you refuse to stop  kissing and snuggling the giant spiky turtle. Don’t lie Black Knight, you want the kisses and the snuggles too. -Mod Tinker and ~Mod Propeller