#the biracial thing is funny. why are you deciding to have issues about that now < it was the first time ppl started being racist to

[thedevotionaltour]

i also kinned cyborg noodle in middle school literally ages 13 and 14 was my mind going outsider with identity issues. also you're now kind of cognizant of the political and social nature of the world and you're going to have your mandatory how do i deal with being biracial now that i kind of have an inkling of intelligent coherent knowledge on race and now you have the waaaaah im not connected to my non white cultural half waaaaah feeling as you look more around the world and your life. embarrassingly enough. which im still sad i dont really have much going for me there do you know how embarrassing it is to have the typical ~food is your cultural connection~ thing when people online are the way they are about that (kind of embarrassing and annoying). im losing. anyways. the summary of middle school character relations was outsider with identity issues with a dash of you're asian (but now aware of it outside of it just being something you know about yourself and your family)

[imthepunchlord]

Since you rewrote Mayura, I’m curious about how you would rewrite Hawkmoth, keeping his humor, but making him more competent and terrifying.

Short answer: largely, he’d stay the same, with a few tweaks. He wouldn’t akumatize Ramier to be Mr Pigeon 25 times a day. Wouldn’t akumatize a baby. And wouldn’t think Chloe is his key to victory and think she’ll be the best akuma he’ll ever make. And Lila he may take under his wing and use to as a spy to try and figure out who LB is. 

Now long answer… I’ll leave that as a ramble below. 

One of the big factors to rewriting HM is figuring out what to do. Hawk Moth is a big mess. He’s too all over the place, they can’t decide if he should be sympathetic or full villain you want to hate, but they also want you to root and feel for him. You don’t know if you want to laugh at him or someone to dread. They have him loving his son and then he’s ready to beat the shit out of his son. 

What they want can be done, you can have a villain who is scary but also funny, take Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2. And its possible to have a villain go far, but also be sympathetic. Like, take Zuko back in s1 when he’s the full antagonist there, and you have The Storm covering his backstory and you feel for him and you get his situation. So all they want to do can be done, its just that they aren’t executing him well. 

And unlike Mayura, HM is a harder character to rework. Mayura is easier to redo since Nathalie as Mayura is out of nowhere and really weak and forced in and just goes against all that was built up. She’s set up to be scarier, the mastermind, someone HM would fear and feel like he can’t win against. And you can take advantage of Gabriel and Emilie being scared of someone, someone they feared which is why they wanted Adrien to be safe. Why they have such security. Why there are missiles in HM’s lair. Mayura was a mystery and she could be whatever sort of villain you want her to be. 

HM though is very established, and has a lot of issues. So when reworking him, there are certain things to decide. 

Like, in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it having Gabriel be Hawk Moth? 

Back in s1, I had a hard time seeing it. Not only did they have different facial structures, personality wise they seemed like polar opposites. Gabriel always held himself poised, contained, he cold and precise, harsh and picky. Hawk Moth was loud, expressive, open to work with anyone, and when he spoke with his victims, it always sounded like he could relate, had far better empathy than Gabriel. 

And then its revealed they’re the same and it just makes you wonder, who is Gabriel? We know he’s a neglectful, abusive, manipulative asshole of a father, but why does he behave differently as HM? 

Marinette as Ladybug is more focused and on task, that’s why she’s more put together as Ladybug but at the core, she is who she is. She did see LB as someone different in Antibug, but Tikki corrected that, a lesson that stuck with her. 

Adrien behaves differently as Chat because Chat is an outlet for him. He has pressure to be a certain way in public and at home, but put a mask on and no one knows that’s you, he can just pour out all this contained energy, he can have reckless fun and he can allow himself to be childish and have tantrums (poorly timed mind you). Adrien is technically closer to the “true selves” because Chat lets him behave however he wants, but even then, Chat isn’t all who Adrien is. Adrien Agreste the civilian is another side of him,the one who is supportive, patient with others, and likes to see peace in relations (even at the cost of personal happiness). Ideally, we would’ve seen him gradually become a mix of the two sides, and that would be who Adrien truly is, but as of now, Adrien and Chat are opposites, water and fire. At least we know for sure why he behaves differently as Chat, Chat Noir is an outlet for everything he keeps a lid on, the silliness, the energy, the childishness; it wouldn’t be acceptable for Adrien but Chat he can just let that out (its unfortunate though that he just directs it all at one person). 

Now Gabriel and how he behaves as HM, that is unexplained and there’s no reason given. He does have an image to uphold, but he’s also a recluse in his house. He just has family and staff he trusts there. Why does he need to be poised in front of them? Like, if he was out in public more often, ok. But he’s not, he’s a recluse. He can be playful and energetic and wild like Adrien, but he doesn’t share this with Adrien. There’s a line from Adrien that Gabriel used to be different and like, different how? There are not enough answers about who Gabriel is, and we’re going into s4 with still no idea or what exactly is going on with him and their situation (is Emilie dead or in some magical coma??); its getting old not knowing anything. You can only drag out this trail with sprinkles for so long. 

Another factor is relationship with the protagonists. We’ll start with Marinette. 

Marinette is our lead hero. She’s the one this story focuses on. This is her story to tell, she cares about being a hero, keeping Paris safe, and doing a good job and is the one that’s struggling the most being a hero and shouldering much of the weight of heroism. 

The biggest issue in her story is having such a big disconnect with Gabriel. Its not a blow to her that Gabriel is HM. He doesn’t challenge her as a true villain should, he doesn’t challenge her views, he isn’t someone she admires (at least not anymore?), he isn’t her mentor in fashion; honestly he barely remembers her. Now if Gabriel was just the intro villain and there were others coming in, and her true villain came later (like what Mayura could’ve been), this would be fine. But nope. They’re sticking with HM as the big bad and there’s such a huge disconnect between them, there’s nothing to get into to. He doesn’t challenge her as a true nemesis should. He just doesn’t work as her villain. 

And then there’s Adrien. This plot circles around Adrien’s family, its his father being the villain, its his mother who is gone and is the reason his father is doing this; this is essentially Adrien’s story. Its a big blow to him that Gabriel is HM, it hurts and its upsetting and it leaves him confused. This can be a good story to do, but there are two big issues. 

One, this is supposed to be Marinette’s story. Marinette was the one who was built up for this show, a female biracial lead hero. Yet, its Adrien, a skinny white boy, who this show is more about. 

And that leads to two, Adrien is disconnected from his own story. He doesn’t care about finding HM. HM doesn’t personally upset him, HM doesn’t challenge him. If anything, HM just gives him a chance to have an outlet and see his crush and have fun and live in the craziness. This story is about him and he doesn’t care about it, he’s not invested in his own story. It is a blow to him, but only to the reveal, otherwise its just fun all day. 

Back in earlier concept, HM wasn’t the father of the cat holder, and by default, that technically made him more Marinette’s villain than her partner’s. Back in the day, Marinette was doing this to stop him, to keep Paris safe, while her partner (Felix at the time), was only helping her to be free of a curse. Between the two, she had more of a connection and reason for being a hero. HM/Papillon was neutral in his relation to the two, but LB was set up to be more his opposing hero, not Chat. 

But when you make her partner’s father the villain, that takes away from that neutral placement that did lean more to her as her story (as it should’ve been), and it doesn’t work when you have that partner not care as much about the villain because this is his story and he’s very disconnected from it. 

And going back onto Adrien, another big issue is, how does Gabriel feel about Adrien? Some episodes he cares, and some episodes, he’s fine endangering him. Why, we even had an ep of him being happy to learn Adrien is Chat and took that very chance to beat him up. Quite happily. No holding back. How does Gabriel feel about Adrien, this whole thing is too jarring, you’re trying to have both but its not working. 

But they are trying to have both and you just scratch your head because what is Gabriel and Adrien’s relationship? We know its not good but, does he love his son, as some eps suggest? Or does he not care? What’s the situation here?

So, reworking HM, there is a lot to consider and you got to ask, in the grand scheme of things, does it work having Gabriel be HM? 

It can, but I can also see it better to have them be separate. 

You can have Gabriel the distant father who does love his son, but struggles to make a connection and just want to bury himself in his work. And you can have him finally emotionally ready to reconnect but its strained because of the distance he put there and he has to mend that. You can have him be fretful about learning the possibility that Adrien is Chat. And you can have HM be our dramatic hermit villain, who will happily go all out on Chat Noir when he discovers who he is. 

If you want Gabriel to still have some sort of villain role, have him working with HM, he’s working on translations because he has an eye for detail and HM doesn’t have the patience to look through that book. It can add onto him being unsure of what to do if he suspects Adrien is Chat, and it can make his strained relationship with HM all the more strained. And Gabriel could have the peacock in secret, something he’ll risk using as a weapon against HM if it comes to it. 

And Nathalie in love with the villain, you can have her be HM’s spy in the Agrsete household, trying to discover what Gabriel could be hiding, backing her being afraid of getting fired in Bubbler and there’s no drastic and sudden “I’m in lOvE wItH gAbRiEl!!” and no love triangle of her falling for a still married man? Anyway, have her already have feelings for HM and is working with him in secret and trying to make sure she stays in that household and not have Gabriel kick her out. If Gabriel hired her, she’s easily qualified for any other job, she wants to stay there and this could be a good reason why. Only she came to care about Adrien more than she anticipated and he unwittingly becomes the only wrench in their plans. And we can have her silently judging Gabriel in his neglect, backing her wanting to help Adrien find happiness, and her wanting to send Adrien to school so he’s out of the house if things ever escalate between her and Gabriel. 

Also, this sets up a happier ending for Adrien. Gabriel not being HM removes the manipulation and abuse. At worse, he’ll be neglectful and secretive, and you can have Nathalie call that out, and let Adrien be a little spiteful of Gabriel like he was in Jackady. Gabriel won’t be Scott free for his actions, and there can still be a lot of angst, but it allows Adrien to have a happier ending than his father being HM, which can potentially leave him alone in the end, not having either parent at his side. Or, Gabriel will just be forgiven for his terrorism and it’ll be an unsatisfying happy ending with him only getting a light slap on the wrist. I would hate that so much. 

Also, them being separate goes back to a more neutral placement on the heroes and their relation to HM. Adrien doesn’t have the plot holding onto his arm, at most, his father is working with HM but that’s it, that’s his own personal arc there. Marinette can care more about HM and there’s less of a disconnect. And if you really want them to connect, have HM be Fu’s first try at a pupil but he went down a dark path, and that’s why Fu is so reluctant to reach out despite seeing Marinette’s potential and how great of a hero she is. What if he’s a terrible teacher and turn her down a dark path too? And this can also explain how HM can suspect he’ll get the earrings and ring, he was mentored by Fu, he knows what Fu is like, how he thinks and what he’ll decide. And there’s your more personally connection with Marinette, both mentored by Fu, both had promise as Guardians. Why, this could even have Lila be more of Marinette’s personal rival, could set up that HM decides to try and be her mentor, though at the core is using her, and has her as his spy to try and figure out who LB is. For Lila and HM do have similarities that you can work off of, and there’s an arc, does she follow the same path as HM? Could she possibly learn and see things differently? Extra bonus if HM originally used the Fox, who are famous for their tricks, but can be arrogant enough to get caught up in the mess they create. 

I don’t know about you guys, but this to me sounds like a far better set up for the story. Like, Gabriel as HM can be done and it can be made to work, but you need to decide certain details with him and stick to those details. Otherwise, as of now, he’s too all over the place to work and is just a jarring mess. 

[beaulesbian]

I decided to finally make a part two of this post, it took me half a year longer than I anticipated, but I rushed to finish it at least for June.

🏳️‍🌈 Happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley – The best kind of subtle romance I have ever read. Includes mysterious pocket watch, solving bomb threats in Victorian London, a lady scientist, changing of future based on occurring events, an adorable clockwork octopus, and so much more! Did I mention the best, most beautiful romance I didn’t even expect to get?? Read it! (mlm main characters)

All out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by multiple authors, edited by Saundra Mitchell – This book was so refreshing to read!!! Retellings of fairy tales but queer and poc and mostly happy. I enjoyed each of the short story so so much, I don’t have words to say how much I loved this book, just, can we please have more stories like that? Thank you.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman – Ever wanted a book with a main character boy and girl who won’t end up together by the end of the book? Then this is a book for you. Frances and Aled do not only become best friends who won’t end up together, but there’s even more diverse characters than these two main ones. This book even has an ace (demi) sexual representation, which I was very excited about, and the main character is biracial bisexual girl. There is lot of fandom talk and a radio show drama (kind of similar to Welcome to Night Vale). But also talks about other important topics like deciding that college might not be for everyone despite them being a great student in high school.

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee – It’s a cute and sweet superhero themed futuristic story, first book of a trilogy I think. The main character is Vietnamese American bisexual girl, Jessika Tran, whose parents are both superheroes, but she doesn’t have any powers. She starts working for a company she later discovers belongs to town’s villains, but with time she learns that not everything about superheroes and villains is perfectly black and white. Also she’s working there with her crush, so that’s a bonus. It’s a really great book, there’s wlw romance and lot of diversity, action and silly scenes. The history behind the people’s superpowers and worldbuilding was really interesting too. The sequel is also already out, featuring a poc trans boy as the main character, who is part of Jessika‘s friend squad.

The Gentleman‘s guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee – A book everyone here should read!! A historical roadtrip with lot of angst, fluff and mutual pining of two of the main characters. It takes place in 18th century Europe. Monty is kind of an asshole, some moments you will hate him then you will love him, but as the journey progresses so does he. He travels with his sister, Felicity, and his best friend (and crush!) Percy, to visit few cities in Europe before he has to start work in his fathers company. This book addressed lot of issues, like white privilege and racism in that time period, sexism and ableism. But it’s also an adventurous book that’s funny and charming, and makes you feel really happy one moment and sad the next. There are also pirates!

Dreadnought by April Daniels – This is a first book of a duology about a lesbian trans girl Danny who receives superpowers after witnessing death of the superhero Dreadnought, which means she now has to become the new Dreadnought. But with the powers also becames real the ideal vision of her body, that she always wanted. She is very happy about it, but it also means she has to face her family and best friend and explain why she looks different. On top of that she has to help the other superheroes with stopping the new threat to the city, the villain who killed previous Dreadnought. Trigger warnings for transphobia, but it’s really worth to read.

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller – I’ve seen mixed reviews of this book but personally I loved it. It’s a fantasy YA with lgbt protagonist, that I don’t have enough of. Sal is a genderfluid, also bi? pan? thief who enters a competition to become one of Queen’s Assassins. Basically the last one standing (or rather living) takes the place. Sal knows how to fight and survive but also needs to learn other things to win this position. Like taking classes of writing/reading which teaches him a lady of court they previously stole something from, whom Sal quickly starts to like more than they should, with the competition at play. For me it was a really great book to read and I can’t wait to read the sequel!

The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli – I had to read this one quickly before Leah on the offbeat came out, and it was a joy to read this one too! Again so much representation, I love Becky’s books and the Simon vs world. This story is about Molly who has had a lot of crushes but never actually dated anyone. She’s jewish, has anxiety, is fat, loves her family, is very creative, and has another crush on a guy who is her coworker. There’s so much cuteness in this book, I was smiling and crying the whole time reading it. More for representation: her sister is gay, she has two moms, a new Korean-American pansexual friend (who her sister totally likes) and more. I need to meantion trigger warnings for fatphobia, because of part there with her relative, it made me cry so much, it was very reletable and I hated it but there was very good closure for it in the end, which I’m happy about. Anyway read this book, overall it’s a cute and happy book with lots of fluff!

Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli – I loved Leah from the Simon vs book, so I was really happy we got more focus on her. She’s fat and funny, unapologetic about who she is, in her words: “basically your resident fat Slytherin Rory Gilmore”. There was mentions she likes boys as well as girls. Because of a tour for her college she goes with Abby to see where she will live the next few years and stuff happens. And then there’s also their high school prom, which she thought she was ready for, but maybe she’s not ready for at all. I’m not even going to write more, it’s an amazing book, I cried so many times.

Timekeeper by Tara Sim – This story takes place in a Victorian era Britain where clock towers are needed for time to flow correctly. Therefore there is lot of mechanics who repair said clock towers, because if the clock stops, the town around it stops in time as well. The main character Danny is one of those mechanics in London, but his father is trapped in a town that Stopped and Danny needs to find a way to save him. But after someone tries to sabotage a clock tower in a small city, Danny is assigned in that town to fix it, and he eventually finds out that the myths he heard – that in clock towers could sometimes be seen beings, spirits of the towers – might actually be true. This book was so nice to read, there was the atmosphere of the Victorian era, mystery, cute mlm romance and awesome female characters.

I’ll give you the sun by Jandy Nelson – I cried a lot reading this book. At first it actually took me few months to read past first two chapters, because the writing style was so different from what I was used to, but after that I got absorbed in it very quickly. It’s a story about two siblings, Noah and Jude Sweetwine, who both go through some difficult times, with family, school and personal stuff, it’s about making mistakes and fixing mistakes. It’s about love, art, sibling struggles and growing up.

Other books that I read and loved and definitely recommend:

Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst (f/f fantasy romance)

We are the Ants –  Shaun David Hutchinson (m/m)

In Other Lands -  Sarah Rees Brennan (bi mc, m/m)

Release – Patrick Ness (m/m)

Our dark duet – V.E. Schwab (sequel of duology, agender character, not much romance at all in this duology, it‘s one of my favourites)

A Conjuring of Light – V.E. Schwab (a beautiful fantasy, last book of trilogy, happy ending for m/m pairing whose each story is important throughout the whole series. Again, one of my favourite series)

Magnus Chase and the Ship of Dead - Rick Riordan (I don‘t want to spoil here but it‘s good, genderfluid representation since book two, more in this final book)

Ice crypt - Tiana Warner (sequel of the Ice Massacre, wlw romance between mermaid and human girl, who knew each other since childhood, there is third final book, Ice Kingdom, already out, but I still haven‘t read it..)

Happy reading!

(tagging few people who i think might enjoy it ♥♥: @eradne, @poefinn, @twomillionfreckles, @eliotcoldwater, @queen-max, @tsukiyam-a)

[firewindmill]

PSA

Gonna speak for myself and only for myself first and foremost. If you find something in this that’s for you, feel free to identify with it. If you don’t find something here for yourself, then it isn’t for you.

In case it isn’t clear, the person who runs pics of shiro, keith and sheith blogs is Mexican (Nican Tlaca/latinx, I use all these terms for myself), queer (biromantic, demisexual, trans with he/they pronouns), autistic and affected by scoliosis that will only get worse as I age if I don’t take care of it with careful maintenance. In case people have trouble believing who OP is (@Firewindmill aka me, Nemo) — know that all my pics of blogs are side-blogs and I specifically chose to remove my main avatar from the side-blogs because that’s my choice provided to me by this website — it gives the idea that these are all professional looking main blogs. Occasionally this may become apparent that they are side-blogs when I make a mistake and reblog something to these blogs intended for my main blog but I try to delete them quickly to amend my mistake, and some of you have kindly told me when I do and I appreciate it, I am an imperfect human being after all.

I want to speak to the entitlement and oppressive actions that people seem to have in online spaces simply because the space is public. I’ll go into that under the cut.

Because of what happened over on my blog pics of Keith, I’ll be focusing on that, but the overall sentiments are the same for all the blogs I administrate, including those working with me.

I headcanon that Keith is biracial/mixed race (I think of him as mixed asian/latinx), queer, trans and autistic. He doesn’t have to be for you but he is for me and for many other people, not always at once and sometimes people relate differently to his character based on their own perceived experiences that I can’t relate to but I don’t go on people’s posts to derail/hijack it. That’s what my own blog is for, to make my own posts and create my own content. Some of you may have enjoyed or seen my answer to an anonymous user about trans!keith headcanons. I chose to answer it with “headcanons” because it’s not necessarily canon, perhaps even the evidence is weak on why I think something is the way it is for a character — but sometimes headcanons are completely baseless and people just say ridiculous things to be funny, to have fun, have a laugh but the end point is to feel good, and for trans headcanons, it’s to find something in someone that we see in ourselves and make us feel good. If anyone has a problem with trans!keith, haven’t you heard? There’s a blacklist option now on tumblr and for mobile so if that ruins the character for you then use it and blacklist it so I don’t have to see your comments shitting on people who like it. (Meanwhile, to any followers who see that post, it’s up to you to also block those users, a lot of them are transmedicalists/right wingers etc and are overall have this entitled attitude. Do not engage the way I did, that’s my job and I do it professionally.)

With that, just because a website/blog is public, doesn’t mean that etiquette ceases to exist. My analogy is that I’ve opened my backyard for 24 hours for people to check out my garden. Here, I chill in my hammock, sniff the flowers, observe birds at the birdfeeder at a distance. My rules include people not overwhelming the hammock and taking turns, people not picking flowers or destroying them because they don’t “like” them, and people maintaining a distance from the birdfeeder to not scare off the birds. It’d also be nice that people pick up after themselves if they make a mess etc common sense stuff.

So let’s say someone pulls their pants down, takes a shit.

Pretty gross right? Well its my right to kick them out because it’s still my yard. I don’t have to take abusive behavior in a public or private space.

Another good example is this restaurant analogy on twitter, it’s a good read if you have time for it.

It should go without saying that I will never ever let bigotry in any form be perpetuated on my posts and I will rarely reblog my responses to the pics of blogs except to my main so that they exist in prosperity for the most part in a public venue as receipts. I will not be gaslighted, and even take screenshots for my own protection because these are public blogs. Because I’m Mexican and literally moderate several pages online to ban bigoted user comments from pages, comments that seek to silence marginalized voices of people of color, I use the tools at my disposal, the wonderful block button to control who interacts with me and my audience that enjoys the specific brand of fan experience that I provide with my unique personality. People have been thankful for how safe they feel to express themselves because of it, and my life mission has been to amplify voices less heard, including my own.

Because I’m Mexican, I seek to decolonize myself daily and analyze my behavior to deconstruct anti-blackness within myself, and shed any homophobia and transphobia, to confront misinformation and reblog posts by people affected by their own unique issues while not speaking over them or adding unnecessary commentary. Because I’m queer, I will not ever make fun of people for seeing themselves in fictional characters, nor let homophobia or transphobia be perpetuated on any of my posts either, whether it’s from other trans people deciding what other trans folks do or don’t do, or from cis people, I don’t let it slide. And because I’m autistic, I won’t let ableism slide, I won’t let people speak badly about any other issues or headcanons based on disabilities whether mental or physical. I won’t let anyone come between me and the communities I’m in to divide us with their terf/truscum rhetoric either.

I want people that follow my blogs to see that I am active in what I claim to be my values, which is why you see the evidence on my main blog that I walk the walk and not just talk. I want people who have recently followed my blogs and don’t know me to know where I stand so they either feel reassured or can take a hike if they don’t — I’m not here to recruit for a club, I’m just a fan curating my fan experience, MY way, and you either like it or you don’t but you don’t control what I say, think, or do. I don’t need you.

That’s all I’ve got to say for now.

[whowouldhavethoughts]

BuzzFeed’s Scaachi Koul Talks Humor, Canadian vs. American Politics & Why Twitter Isn’t Necessary

Photo Courtesy: Picador USA

I took Scaachi Koul’s collection of essays, One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, with me to Las Vegas during my bachelorette party a few months ago. I knew that Koul was extremely funny and thought the book would provide some light reading while poolside at a cabana. 

Koul’s opening essay came out of the gate hot, and I could not put the book down. 

Her writing is extremely honest and open, and for me it was relatable. When she talked about being the only brown girl around her white classmates in Canada, I was transported back to my entire childhood existence feeling that same isolation. Her essay about a mortifying mishap in a Toronto dressing room had me simultaneously laughing while also cringing in sympathy. Each chapter plays out like a scene from a TV show, so it’s no surprise that recently Koul announced her essays will be turned into a scripted series by First Generation Films.

Koul also works as a senior writer for BuzzFeed and wrote a brilliant piece called “A User’s Guide to My Stupid Name” that should be required reading for anyone with a “culturally different” (aka foreign) name (I’ve lost track of how many times my name has been mispronounced in my life). 

A few weeks ago, I chatted with Scaachi over the phone about her debut collection of essays, why Americans shouldn’t threaten to move to Canada after an election year and whether or not you need to be on Twitter to get hired. 

The following interview has been edited for clarity and length. 

Photo Courtesy: Barbora Simkova

Ngozi: What was it like writing this collection of essays and then seeing it come to completion and being published? 

Scaachi: I mean, it’s weird. It feels like an out of body experience, but I feel some detachment to it at this point. It’s been a few months, but I’m happy with the result. I feel like people really like it, so that’s always good. 

What has touring been like? What’s been the response you’ve gotten after talking to people who have read [O.D.W.A.B.D.A.N.O.T.W.M]? 

Scaachi: I don’t mind touring. I find it kind of taxing because I don’t like traveling. It’s tricky especially if you don’t like being on a plane and then being on a lot of planes is not exactly an ideal situation. It’s been nice to go to different cities and talk to different people and hear about different perspectives outside of Canada and in the States. It’s been fun. 

You’ve talked about just how personal you were able to get with this book, and you even open with an essay on anxiety. You talk about a lot of serious things. Did you ever feel like there was a sense of ‘Someone’s reading my journal without my permission’? Did writing these essays ever feel like that to you?

Scaachi: I guess so, but I don’t experience shame that often so it doesn’t really bother me. I think my general policy is if you write a personal essay and it feels too raw, then maybe it’s just not the time to write it. I have lots of stories like that where they just don’t feel ready and maybe they don’t feel funny and it’s not comfortable to get them up yet, and those are stories that I don’t [put out].

Humor is a big part of all of your work – not just in these essays but also in your work for BuzzFeed. Where does your humor come from and did it almost feel like it was developed as a defense mechanism over the years? I know for me, that’s how I developed mine. Do you think it’s your most powerful trait?

Scaachi: I feel like I was born with it. It’s certainly something I’ve honed, but I think it’s something I had at first. I think a lot about being funny is just sort of inherent – you either kind of have it when you were born or you don’t, and then from there you decide how important it is and how much you’re going to use it. I think it’s pretty clear for me in the book that I get a lot of my sense of humor from my dad because he’s insane. I think I realized pretty early on that being funny creates a social capital for yourself, but at 10-years-old if I could have traded being funny for being popular, I probably would have. But it was sort of like a thing that I had, so that’s what I used. 

In this book, you use your humor and you’re funny, and then you cut to something that’s more serious or sad. 

Scaachi: Well I do think that with the book, I can’t give you ten essays about the inescapable tragedy of human existence and not give you a joke. So there is something to be said about luring the audience in to talk about something that’s kind of serious and weighty, but I don’t feel like it’s disingenuous. I think the book is presented the way I would present myself in any social situation. 

In your book, the essays that really resonated with me focused on race and identity and seeing oneself as a first-generation adult. In your essay, “Fair & Lovely,” you talked about pushing away your brownness for a long time, and I think most of us experience that feeling of otherness and go through that period of time. Was writing that essay cathartic, in a sense, knowing where you are now with your identity and how you see yourself? 

Scaachi: Yeah, I mean sure. [All the essays] are kind of cathartic. 

What was the process like writing that particular essay? 

Scaachi: I mean I feel like it came quite naturally, so I don’t know if I’ve got a clean answer for how cathartic it felt because I feel like I came back from that wedding and just sort of had that in my head. Everything just kind of came together. That was the fourth or fifth trip I’d made to India in my life, and so I had all of these old memories, and I didn’t really know what to make of them. That was the first trip I’d made to India as an adult, and it was the first time we’d gone with my niece [Raisin] who’s biracial. I’d never had that point of reference, so I think it just kind of came together quite simply. I wasn’t really ruminating on it for very long because I think while I was there it was like, ‘Oh okay. Now I understand,’ and so all these pieces that were sort of missing came together simply. 

You’ve talked about growing up Indian-Canadian, and you’ve mentioned how sometimes Americans think there are no racial issues [in Canada] and that it’s this “mythical” land. How do you explain to people here in the States why that isn’t true? I’m also curious because so many people here after an election year say, ‘I’m going to move to Canada’ after their candidate loses. What do you think when you hear people say that? 

Scaachi: I think it’s laziness. I understand the instinct, but I think it’s sort of lazy. I mean in terms of the comparison point between the two countries, it’s hard to compare the two. You guys are 350 million, and we’re 35 million [people], so just by scale our issues are going to seem a lot less severe. The other part of it is in your recent election, the US has elected what is quite seriously the worst possible candidate they could have elected for president. So then by comparison, everything we do [in Canada] will not seem that bad. 

I am troubled over the international fawning over Trudeau. I think for the first few months it made sense and it was fine, and now it kind of bothers me because he’s been in office for almost two years, and he hasn’t done anything. I have not seen him do anything, and I am more irritated by progressives who lie to you and lie to the base and say that they’re going to do something, and then they do nothing. That bothers me on an intellectual level and on an emotional level. It seems dangerous to dismiss what can and is happening in Canada because there are a lot of people here who are suffering, and it’s difficult to say, ‘Oh racism doesn’t exist.’ Well it’s really hard for me to listen to that when I know that there are swaths of communities – largely poor indigenous communities, poor people of color – who don’t have access to clean water in the country. If you look at what’s happening in Flint, it’s the same thing. 

In terms of moving to Canada, I get it, and certainly there are things that Canadians have that Americans don’t, and I’m very thankful for those things. I can understand people who say they need to move because they need healthcare. That’s a reasonable thing. But this idea that ‘I’m going to move to Canada and everything is going to be fine’ – I can’t tell you how many times I do events in the US, and someone comes up to me and is like, ‘So if you go to school in Canada it’s free, right?’ No it’s not free. It’s cheaper, but by that token, our schools are not considered as prestigious [laughs]. There’s this set of lies that I feel like people told themselves about how things work up here, and then people think that they’re just going to show up. I don’t get it. I feel like they’re just going to be woefully disappointed. 

Yeah, and it’s like obviously if you visit as a tourist you’re going to see or experience, a lot of times, the best parts of a country because you’re on a vacation and naturally you’ll be like, ‘Oh this place is great.’ 

Scaachi: Sure, and I mean there’s this thought that fundamentally Americans aren’t taught anything about Canada when you guys go to school. I mean you literally know nothing about us and then you become of voting age, and you think this is a bastion of socialism and I can go there and live there. I don’t know. I remember thinking that about Europe when I was younger. I thought that Europe was where you go if you want to live in a really liberal, hippie-dippy place and you can drink at sixteen, school’s covered and blah blah blah. That’s a really adorable way to think, but considering how many shootings have been happening there and the level and the tone of the racism – even just looking at what’s happened to London in the last few months – how can you continue to believe that? So I mean it just strikes me as lazy ideology. Nowhere is good. I hate to phrase it like that, but I don’t’ know where the good, safe place is. I’m really not too sure. 

Also the solution to your country being fucked up isn’t leaving. It’s not, especially when people who are often saying, ‘I’m going to move to Canada,’ they more often tend to be white, and they tend to have enough money to pick up and go. It’s never poor people of color who say I’m going to move to Canada. I’ve never seen that. It’s always these white people who have some capital and some control in changing how the world is working and changing how their country is working. After Trump won, he won in part because of white women voted for him and then there were all these white women who said they were going to move to Canada, and I was like, ‘You know what, this is kind of your fault.’ So don’t fuck it up and then pack your bags and say you’re going to come here and probably ruin the few things we have here [laughs]. It’s just sort of shirking a lot of responsibility, and it’s often the people who are responsible for those problems. 

Photo Courtesy: Barbora Simkova

I know everyone always talks about Twitter with you, but I wanted to talk to you in a different context in terms of your essay that you wrote speaking out against it. You quit the platform for a while and then you came back to it. Do you ever feel like being in media that we’ll ever go back to a point where your boss says, ‘You know what? You don’t need to be on this for me to hire you.’ Do you think that we should? I know that you edit for people too, and it’s a great way to even the playing field finding writers on social media. 

Scaachi: I think right now you can get hired without having a Twitter account if your work is good. I don’t think it’s necessary. I think in some places my Twitter account is a detriment to my hireability. I don’t think that everybody likes it, so I’m not sure if that is even necessary. I think it’s just something that people have told themselves like, ‘Oh I need to do this.’ You don’t need to do this. I get a lot of young women who come up to me at my events and they ask me, ‘How do I make my Twitter account good so I get hired?’ You don’t need to. If you’re fighting with the platform and the platform sucks – and it does suck because it doesn’t give a shit about anybody – and it doesn’t feel good to be on it and you’re not having fun and you can’t see an upside? Don’t use it. Do the work instead. Do the work quietly. I get that it’s maybe less sexy because you don’t get to count how many retweets or whatever, and that’s obviously frustrating, but if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. 

I think right now younger people going into the industry are just born of that internet phase, and I certainly was. I was raised on social media and accessible YouTube and torrenting. I lived in that world so I’m very comfortable with it, but I don’t know if you need it. I mean my partner isn’t really using it that extensibly because it sucks [laughs]. 

Frankly, I think all of us who are using it right now are waiting for something better to show up because the company has made it so clear that they don’t care about us.

In one of your essays, you talk about your family meeting your partner. There’s the age difference and the fact that you’re in an interracial couple that made the reaction not what you guys would have preferred at first. In the context of what we’ve been talking about, did you ever feel like you had to be different in public around him or worry how people perceived you guys in a certain space?

Scaachi: I mean not particularly. I don’t think the racial aspect [was an issue]. Because we had a large age difference, there were more growing pains because I felt pretty young, and I think he felt quite old [laughs]. We didn’t spend time with my family, and that was where I would have felt like I needed to adjust my behavior. 

Your family is good now with you two? 

Scaachi: Yeah. The ending is like, ‘Yeah, everything’s okay.’ Like all things, it just took a minute, and now we’re fine, and I’m sure my parents will present some other sort of conflict for me. But everything’s okay right now. 

Earlier you mentioned your dad, and he’s a big part of your essays. We see his humor throughout the book through the email excerpts at the end of each chapter, but there are a lot of complicated layers in you guys’ relationship that you talk about. Did you feel any type of guilt complex when writing about your parents? 

Scaachi: In addition to not experiencing shame, I do not experience guilt. They are taxing and lovely people, so I feel like I have an inherent right to write about them. [My dad] is a highly emotional, easily irritated funny person, but he has sort of a set of standards – like a lot of parents – that seem impossible to meet, so that causes a lot of conflict. In the book in the initial drafts of him, he sort of came out a little cartoonish, and so we made an effort to make him an actual person and not just a cartoon. In the book, he’s presented through the lens of writing about where he grew up versus where I grew up or about the things that he wanted and then the things that I wanted that disappointed him. Between every chapter there’s an objectively insane email from him that makes no sense. Just to give you a taste. 

Is there a particular essay from the book that you’ve received the most response from readers about? Or the one that was your favorite to write that you definitely wanted the world to read? 

Scaachi: I don’t really have a favorite, and I think people respond to different chapters differently. I don’t know if I could pick one. I mean there’s only ten. I don’t know if there’s one that sort of sticks out the most. 

Is there anything you’ve read lately that you would recommend to your readers?

Scaachi: I finished Omar El Akkad’s American War, which was really good. It’s fiction, but it’s excellent. Then I actually just read an oral history of The Daily Show. It’s this massive 420-page book, and I loved it. I would imagine it’s only appealing if you really love The Daily Show, but I really loved that. I have in front of me Theft By Finding by David Sedaris, which I haven’t opened yet. Then I also read Sam Irby’s We Are Never Meeting in Real Life which is very, very funny. That one is so good. It’s nonfiction essays, and it’s so hilarious and so brutal.