#the bindi made me feel pretty tho

[rosefulmadness]

update people: didn't have time to do my mehndi and didn't wear a bindi but I did end up reporting her to the school after she went on and on in class (which is 1st period both monday and wednesday) about:

- a friend of his son getting into a car accident and accidentally k!lling the other car and permanently disfiguring his face and cussing him tf out.

- talking about a student in his class who k!lled himself and described it as "one day he decided he was a bird and he jumped out of the window" and laughing. it was implied that the kid actually died from jumping out the window IN A CLASS, like during the lesson which like... wtf is wrong with you??

- talking about how being trans and gay is a temporary thing and god made adam and eve.

- saying that teenage/child depression is caused by phones and phones aren't the word of god so they are bad.

- also mocking a student from a different class that told her, when "debating" about abortion "oh but teacher, what if I'm a young child who got r4ped and can't have the baby" *in a mocking tone shall I add, because this is 100% a good thing to joke about ofc* and said that it doesn't matter cause you're a bad person for "killing the baby", the baby being a bunch of a week old cells. I got really fucking triggered and said "the "baby" doesn't exist so" and she screamed at me that I was insane and "did you study biology" like bitch?

- If you were wondering, she's also racist ofc. she once decided to start talking about hinduism out of literally nowhere (she got it wrong ofc) and start talking about reincarnation and how it's a super classicist society because it's India, insinuating that the reason why they are so "backwards" (as well as less improved, smart and overall valuable than "us", us being them, the white europeans, can't wait until she finds out I'm poc) is because they are Indian, brown, non-white. that's the reason why their dirty country is shit, not because of colonialism fucking everything up, but because they are Indian and Indians are bad by nature. so yeah, you got that.

after the class was over I went to the next class and asked the teacher if it was illegal to teach your political propaganda as facts to a class (I was texting everything to a gc and a friend told me it was illegal) the teacher said yes and asked me why. I told her and I also kinda cried a bit sad she told me to go report it immediately as well as calming me down ( I fr love her so much)

I spent the next hour waiting for nereida, who's in charge of everything, to tell her about it and she listened, then wrote it down on paper and said she'll do what she can. I wanna make it clear that every single teacher and authority that heard about this was shocked and apologized to me, they didn't do anything and didn't need to apologize but they wanted to cause they understood the gravity of the situation.

and ofc I asked a friend for her color pencils, borrowed a red one, dipped the point in water, and went to the bathroom to draw a bindi. I spent the rest of the day nicely talking with friends, saying happy holi and happy women's day all the time, and also learning about a muslim celebration they do the same day in pakistan (from my pakistani friend, zainib) it was nice tbh, happy ending and happy holi

we were studying Islam and the teacher had to leave to get heart surgery or something and a new ex-military nurse came as our substitute teacher. I feel really bad for all the soldiers that had to be her patient cause damn is that woman annoying. also, we are studying the christian church again now, double fuck off

[cuddlyclaws]

Return to Airy Fairy Land

So I went back. I cancelled last week when I was supposed to go but I went this time. Keep an open mind, Mike. Keep an open mind.

Since the last visit, I had binged on the foods that were found to be poor for me. Apparently, sugar, dairy and gluten were on the naughty list so I have resolved to stay off them until Christmas. I opened up and smashed back lasagne, lollies, soft drink and ice creams and more. Then it was D Day and since then I have been good. We bought a smoothie making Nutribullet thingee and I have been using this religiously every morning. For the first time, I have been looking forward to breakfast. It is easy too.

Yes, it does have a lot of natural sugars from the fruit but it can also have spinach, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, cinnamon and more. That is my daily dose of sugar for the day.

Giving up dairy has been easy as I spent most of my life not eating it. I have never had a yoghurt or milkshake or used butter. Will miss my cheese from toasted sandwiches and nacho’s (plus sour cream here) but that is about it. Cheese is like the gaffer tape of food, will fix anything. Berries seem to the same for sweet stuff for me.

Gluten has been hard. Miss pasta, bread, burgers etc but the main thing I miss is the convenience of gluten products. Lunches out and about at subway or a burger or a sandwich or a full loaf of fresh bread. Still working on the alternatives but sushi has been my go to at the moment. Have eaten a lot of that in the last fortnight.

I did have one blow out meal where I ate junk food. I ate fish and chips. I did stick to the diet and searched for a gluten free batter for my fish and had a scoop of chips. Man, I enjoyed it. Perfect for a night home alone on the couch watching Netflix. Then for the next few hours, man, I regretted it. I felt full, bloated and sluggish. I do often feel like this after fish and chips but I had not felt this for a while so it sucked. I also realised later that there may well have been egg in the batter of the fish, which was an oversite on my behalf. Eggs have always been on the naughty, list like nuts. Millie later commented that I was a lot scratchier that particular night than I had been for a long time. A long time in my world is a week or two.

Besides that night, my skin has been holding steady with the gentle trickle of the steroid from ointments and prednisone plus light treatments. Not sure which is responsible but my money is still on the steroids. My skin is requiring a lot less moisturiser at the moment and the redness has reduced. I have spots tho. Have had a return of the staph spots on my forehead, one like a bindi, one beside my right eyebrow and one on my neck. Still under control but working to get rid of them.

My stomach has improved but still not back to “regular”. Feel a bit of bloating and tightness still but a lot better. I was informed by my GP Doctor that the antibiotics I was on, Roxithromycin, can have a semi laxative effect. This may have meant my bowels got lazy and let the pills do the work. Not now they need to slowly wake up and get back to their job. This makes sense.

Anyway, I returned to my Airy Fairy person and went through a similar series of events to last time. No bike lights but a couple of pen lights, a couple of vibrating thingees that moved around various parts of my body; stomach, hips, head, chest. Felt good on the head like a massage. Had the old cranial alignment again which is pressure on the top of my head and a massage of the roof of my mouth and gums. I continued to get some essential oil sprayed into my mouth at regular intervals, had to bite down on a wooden iceblock stick and give a few high fives. Keep an open mind, Mike. Keep an open mind.

During the session, comments were made that my inflammation had gone down but there were some issues with my gut still. A tap on the stomach and the armbar test and that showed I needed probiotics. So I have got some to trial for a month to reset my gut after the antibiotics. My plumbing system is still a little on the erratic side so hopefully, this helps. My GP doctor also recommended these and it makes sense. There was some questioning about my ability to let go of hurt and my gallbladder (which my dad and aunty have had removed). The upshot was that I need to address the gut and stabilise it to help reduce inflammation. To also be mindful of my sugar intake, even the natural ones and possibly mind the nightshade family (potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant etc).

Overall, my stomach has improved and I have managed to adapt to the diet pretty well. Breakfasts are a success and I am getting more fibre and nutrients into me than before. My energy levels are better and I am sleeping better. I feel I am more focused and more productive as well. My skin is doing well but while on the steroids it is hard to say. Juries out on that one but I am wanting to use this window of calm to try and sort out the internal matters to provide a nice stable base. I have just popped a couple of probiotics so we will continue to see. I feel I have taken a step forward. Next appointment in a fortnight.