#the bi lumberjack that swings both ways

[pocket-notebook]

naya my beloved <3333

I really hope one day this dnd campaign actually starts-- I want to play her so bad :(

[skeletorific]

The Death and Deals of a True Lumberjack

You guys probably forgot I do Gravity Falls stuff, didn’t you? Well, @waldorkler didn’t. They requested this fic a few months ago, and have been ultra patient about wating on my slow ass to get this over with.

Prompt: Set shortly after “Roadside Attraction”. Bill, seeking a way into the Mystery Shack, encounter opportunity in the form of a certain redhead....

Warnings: Gore, character death, angst. Could be read as Wendip? I don’t go any farther than the canon, and I don’t intend to write the ship, but I guess it could be seen as that. A couple of swears.

Word Count: 7641

Put under the cut cause this is long as fuuuuuuck

There were a lot of chores Wendy had taken on since her mom passed, but the one she had always hated the most was laundry. Between her, the three boys, and her Dad, there were a lot of completely destroyed flannels around the house. Not to mention the fact that her dad abjectly refused to buy a dryer. While literally everyone else lived in the twenty-first century, the Corduroy’s still hung their laundry on a line. A total pain, but she had to admit it made her clothes dry in interesting forms. She could get the crumpled but not too crumpled look she wanted.

“Alright, I finished laundry, so if I see one left out shirt, I’m gonna kick your butts!” she yelled upstairs. No response from any of the boys: chances are they were still zonked out.

True to form, though, there was a sock laid at the bottom of the stairs, draped almost delicately. “GUYS!” she moaned, stuffing it in her back pocket. Whatever, not worth doing a separate load for one sock.

Outside, the air was warm and close, with all the trees surrounding, but there was a faint chill in the air that promised fall was coming. Wendy wasn’t ready, really, to go back to school, but who ever was? She shivered slightly in her tank top but set back to work.

She started pinning up the shirts on the line. Green flannels, red flannels, blue, as far as the eyes could see. The only way you could tell them apart was by the shape, and given how fast some of her brothers were growing even that kind of sorting was getting difficult.

Well, not like she had much to do lately. The Shack had been closed for a few days recently. Mr. Pines....long lost brother? Honestly, she had gotten most of her details from Soos, and then only in a lengthy three am call that she only remembered like a third of. Either way, despite the fact that it was no longer crawling with feds, Stan had told her to take a day or two off while they sorted out whatever family mess they were going through. What was weird is that it was a paid vacation. Something really big must be going down.

It was funny. She’d’ve thought she’d have been thrilled to finally be getting a legit vacation, but she was just bored. The group wasn’t as much fun these days. Robbie and Tambry just spent hang outs making goo-goo eyes at each other. Nate and Lee were on some last minute vacation to the coast to try and finally make good on that surfing resolution they’d had since New Years. And she couldn’t hang out with just Thompson. She hadn’t sunk that low.

So yeah, she kind of missed work. It was definitely a little awkward now that the kid had finally just confessed his feelings for her, but things were always happening around Dipper and Mabel. It was never boring or just the same old routine. She honestly found herself staring at her phone, waiting for it to ring and have it be Stan telling her to get her ass to work, where was she, or Soos telling her the golf cart had gone haywire again, or Dipper to ask her to come on another monster hunt with him and his sister....but nothing.

The laundry all hung up, there was only one chore she had left: wood chopping. For the stove. Dad once again insisted on a woodburning stove in addition to the more modern one. Lumberjacks should always use the product of their labor, he insisted. Wendy didn’t mind this one as much. The axe was propped in it’s usual corner and she grabbed on her way out to the clearing where Dad had them drag all the trees that weren’t specifically business.

The rhythm of the chopping and the satisfying chunk as it connected with and severed the wood had always been pretty relaxing to her. In her blood, she guessed. Some girls did facials and manicures. She did axes. Once she got into a pattern she could practically zone out. She did some of her best thinking here. Slowly, she got more and more into it, lift, swing, thunk, kick it to the side, lift, swing, thunk, ki-

“HIYA RED!”

The shrill voice startled her and she whipped around, axe gripped tightly....

Face to face with one of the weirdest things she’d ever seen.

It was a little triangle guy, with one eye and yellow skin, with a top hat and a cane held in spindly little black arms, floating in midair. Not knowing what it was, she decided to make the safe move, and approached it with the axe poised to swing.

“WOAH, EASY THERE, HOT STUFF.” No mouth formed, but the voice seemed to echo all throughout the woods, bouncing off the trees in every direction as he floated above and behind her, coming to rest on the chopping block. His posture was laid back and easy going, clearly without a care in the world.

“Who are you?” she said, not as aggressive now, but still holding tight to her weapon.

“NAME’S BILL, BILL CIPHER. NICE TO MEET YA. AND YOU’RE WENDY CORDUROY, THE GIRL WITH AN AXE TO GRIND!” A long pause. “WOW, TOUGH AUDIENCE.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I KNOW LOT’S OF THINGS, KID. FOR INSTANCE, I KNOW THAT IF YOU WANT TO HELP OUT THOSE POOR PINES KIDS, YOU’LL GIVE ME A HAND.”

“Dipper and Mabel? What’s going on?”

“NOTHING YET, BUT TRUST ME, SOMETHING’S COMING. SOMETHING BAD. AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET THEM OUT OF IT.”

Wendy raised an eyebrow. “And I’m just supposed to believe you because....?”

“LIKE I SAID, KID, I’M OMNIPOTENT.” He said. “FOR INSTANCE, I KNOW PINE TREE PRACTICALLY KISSES THE GROUND YOU WALK ON. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN THEM ALL SUMMER, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEIR UNCLE AND I HAD A....BIT OF A MISUNDERSTANDING. HE DOESN’T TRUST ME, BUT I REALLY AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP. I THINK THEY MIGHT LISTEN TO ME IF YOU BACK ME UP.”

“Still not hearing a reason why I should trust you.” she said, crossing her arms.

Bill sighed. “YOU’RE A SHARP ONE, I’LL GIVE YOU THAT. ALRIGHT, ALL I CAN TELL YA IS IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE RETURN OF THE AUTHOR.”

“Dipper finally found the author?!”

“SO HE DID TELL YOU ABOUT THE JOURNALS THEN. ANYWAY, THE AUTHOR’S AN ESCAPEE FROM A DIMENSION FULLA BAD. I SHOULD KNOW: IT USED TO BE MY HOME TURF.” His hand waved, and a moving image, a bit like a projection appeared. Monsters made more of teeth and claws than flesh danced in the vision, snarling and snapping. “THE AUTHOR MADE IT OUT OKAY, BUT IT LEFT BEHIND A TEAR ONLY I’M POWERFUL ENOUGH TO FIX. THEY WON’T LET ME IN TO SEE IT, BUT IF IT’S NOT DEALT WITH SOON...MY OLD DIMENSION’S GONNA COME SPILLING INTO THIS ONE. NOT GOOD FOR YOU GUYS AT ALL.”

Wendy stared at the images, hand tightening around her axe as she imagined those creatures in the burning wreck of the Shack, her school, the house. “So why do you care? If they really are from your old world.”

Bill was quiet for a minute, and made a small movement with his shoulders that looked like a shudder. “LIKE I SAID, ME AND THE AUTHOR BOTH ESCAPED FROM THAT DIMENSION. I DON’T WANNA GO BACK FOR ANYTHING, RED. SO WHAT DO YA SAY?” He stuck out a hand to be shaken. “WANNA HELP ME OUT?”

Wendy thought for a minute. “What do I have to do?”

“EASY, JUST LET ME POSSESS YOUR BODY!”

“What?!”

“RELAX, ONLY TEMPORARILY. LOOK, KID, I ONLY REALLY EXIST ON THE DREAMSCAPE RIGHT NOW. TO PUT IT SIMPLY I CAN’T FIX THE RIFT UNLESS I HAVE A BODY. YOU WORK THERE, SO NOBODY’LL THINK ITS WEIRD IF YOU GO DOWN TO THE SHACK. ONCE I’M THERE YOU AND I’LL EXPLAIN WHAT I NEED TO DO TO PINE TREE AND SHOOTING STAR, AND WE’LL GET THE JOB DONE.” His hand ignited with a blue flame that somehow didn’t feel hot. “COMPLETELY PAINLESS, I PROMISE YA.”

Wendy hesitated for a second. Give up her body....but thinking back to the nightmarish images....Her mouth set in a thin line. “Alright. Deal.” She said, clasping his hand in hers.

There was a sensation like a strong static shock throughout her body. The world flashed black and white, back to color, and to monochrome again, and there was a peculiar sensation of weightlessness. Suddenly she found herself floating as light as the air in the clearing, staring at her stock still body that had gone slack in her absence.

Her hands and arms began to flex, and her head rolled almost eerily back into a raised position. He eyelids slowly opened to reveal two long black pupils, almost reptilian.

Creepy.

“You in, buddy?” she said, floating towards him. It felt weird, but kind of cool.

“SURE AM. WOW, HUMAN FEMALE THIS TIME. WEIRD.” He...? said, examining her hands and arms. “THIS ONE IS WAY STRONGER THAN THE LAST BODY!”

“Um...thanks.” Wendy said. “We should probably get going, though.”

“SURE, SURE.” Bill said, picking up the axe and swinging it back and forth, testing the weight. “THANKS FOR THIS, KID. NICE TO KNOW THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE LIKE YOU AROUND.”

Wendy shrugged and smiled slightly “No bi-”

“AND HERE I THOUGHT NOBODY ELSE BUT PINE TREE COULD BE THIS GULLIBLE. GUESS HUMANS REALLY DO NEVER CHANGE!”

“Wait, what?!”

“WOW, YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT!” He said, clapping a hand to his forehead and laughing wildly. “I’LL ADMIT, I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D SWALLOW IT THAT FAST, BUT OH-HO-HO BOY DID YOU!”

“Get out of my body, you creep!” She said, diving towards it...only to phase right out the other side.

“NICE TRY, DOLL, BUT YOU’RE STUCK IN THE DREAMSCAPE NOW!” Bill said, gleefully swinging the axe from side to side. “ONLY I CAN SEE OR HERE YOU, AND YOU NEED A PUPPET IF YOU WANT TO AFFECT ANYTHING. NOW, LET’S GET PINETREE OUT HERE, SHALL WE?” He pulled out her cell phone, dialed it.

“I’m gonna kill you, you three-sided asshole!” she said, flying back and forth across the body, swinging, kicking, trying everything she could think of....but every time, she might as well have been a light breeze for all the effect she was having.

“Hey, P-....Dipper!” Bill said. His voice sounded close to hers, like a tinnier recreation of it. Over the phone, there would be nothing to notice. “Can you meet me out by my place? I’ve got something big to show you. Right. See ya.” He slapped the phone shut with a wicked grin. “HE SEEMED PRETTY EAGER, RED. LOOKS LIKE PINE TREE HAS A LITTLE CRUSH.....WELL, SHOULD MAKE MY JOB EASIER.” And he laughed, low and loud slowly travelling up to high and manic, as Wendy stared with horror at the axe, her mind racing to find a solution...

“Grunkle Stan, Great Uncle Ford, I’m going out!” Dipper yelled, shoving the journal in his backpack.

“Are you sure that’s wise, Dipper?” Ford said, poking his head around the corner. “Remember, I said Bill will be looking for any opportunity to-”

“I know, I know.” Dipper said. “But Wendy said she had something important to show me. I should be back in a few minutes.”

“‘Sides” Mabel said from her perch on the counter. “It gives him an excuse to stare at Wendy’s pretty face!

A bobblehead soared across the room and made contact with her head. “OW!”

“I told you, I’m over her.” Dipper said, pulling his pack on his shoulders. “She just....she sounded like it was important.”

“Heh,” Stan said, grinning and leaning against the doorframe. “Kid, when it comes to Corduroy, her wanting a soda sounds important to you.”

“Shut up!” He said, going toward the door. “I’m over her, we’ve laid out the boundaries, I just want to make sure nothing’s wrong.”

“WENDY AND DIPPER, SITTIN IN A TREE” Mabel screamed from the counter. Stan joined in “K-I-S-S-I-N-”

Dipper closed the door, rolling his eyes. Then he started running down the path towards Wendy’s house.

Okay, so he had lied a little bit. Because, yeah, he knew now that he would never have a chance with Wendy. In a way, it was almost a relief to have that spelled out. Less time and thought he had to spend dancing around it. But he couldn’t deny, when he saw she was calling....his heart had beat just a little faster. It wasn’t quite hope, what he felt, but it was something similar. Like, maybe she had missed him. Maybe she had wanted to see him again. Maybe she wanted to make the terms a little more ambiguous. Like, they wouldn’t date now, but maybe in a few...?

Dipper, don’t be an idiot. He told himself. She’s made it clear how she sees me, now let’s just go over and get ready to...to....STOP THINKING ABOUT HER HAIR AND FOCUS ON THE JOB

Finally he arrived at the clearing. Wendy was leaning against a pile of newly chopped wood, looking as cool as she always did.

“Hey, Wendy.” He said. “N-nice shades.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Um....your voice sounds weird, are you alright.”

A thick wretching noise came from her mouth. “Yeah, yeah, sorry, dude, just a cold.”

“Oh,okay.” He shook off the backpack and held it in front of him, ready to pull out what they needed. “Alright, what did you need to show me.”

“Dipper, I saw Bill.”

“.....who...?” No, she couldn’t, she couldn’t know-

“Bill? Bill Cipher? Come on, man, how many other triangle demons do you know.”

He almost dropped his backpack. “How do you know about Bill?!”

Wendy, meanwhile, had been searching desperately for a solution. Everything she tried to pick up just phased right through her. When Dipper appeared in the clearing, she tried screaming. No response from Dipper, but she could swear she saw Bill grin in her direction for a half second.

“He came to me.” Bill said. “Told me he was looking for a way into the Mystery Shack. He said he wanted to protect you or something from a Rift.”

Dipper snorted. “He wants to do something  with the Rift, alright. Did he offer you a deal?” What had he said, a puppet? Maybe....she tried diving into birds, but it seemed like it required a deal to enter the heads of stuff with brains.

“Yeah. Kicked him to the curb: the dude looked like bad news.”

“Really? You saw through him?”

“Course, man, do I look like a moron to you?”

“Oh, you’re dead!” Wendy growled, desperately wracking her brains.

Dipper looked a little shy....”Yeah, no, you’re definitely way too smart to fall for Bill. I mean, what kind of moron would fall for that ahahaha!”

Puppet, puppet, why did that word ring in her brain, like something from the not-so-distant-past......

“But it got me thinking.....suppose he goes after Soos? Or, y’know, just some random customer? He could sneak into the Mystery Shack, grab the rift, and be out in a minute. I don’t know what he’ll do with that but if can’t be good. So I was thinking.....what if you gave it to me?”

“What?”

Pu- Mabel’s show! Sock puppets. And she could see the sock from the stairs, still sticking out of her back pocket. Bill hadn’t noticed it. There were no eyes or hair attached to it, so it might not count, but....

“Think about it. He already knows I’m not gonna fall for it. If I hide it somewhere and never tell you guys where, even if he gets into the Shack, he won’t be able to find it, and he won’t be able to find out from you guys where it is.”

Dipper looked from side to side, unsure. “I....I don’t know.”

Wendy quietly floated behind Bill, staying out of his sight line. Fortunately, he was too focused on Dipper to notice her hand creeping towards her back pocket, praying to whoever was in charge of this kind of thing that this would work.

“Come on, man. Give it a trial run. And if you ever change your mind, I’ll go get it and bring it back to you.” He extended her hand and smiled. “You trust me?”

Her fingers were right up by the sock....and it stayed solid! She picked it up, quickly shoving her hand inside it before the universe could change its mind on this technicality. She shoved the toe of the sock between her fingers and her thumb, forming a rough mouth.

“Well.....” suddenly Dipper’s eyes were arrested by the sight of a crude sock puppet rising over Wendy’s shoulder.

“DIPPER IT’S NOT ME!” The sock puppet spoke with Wendy’s voice. “IT’S NOT ME, RUN.”

He froze as Wendy’s body jumped to the side. “It’s Bill!” she said. “He’s trying to-”

Suddenly the sock puppet flew forward and knocked the sunglasses off her face, revealing yellowed eye with slit-like irises.

Dipper picked up his backpack and slowly backed away.

Bill-Wendy sighed. His shoulders began to shake with, and slowly a high and manic laugh came, twisting the mouth and throwing the head back as it rang out louder and louder in the clearing. Dipper wanted desperately to run but he was frozen in fear.

Bill/Wendy wiped a tear from his eye. “OH, WELL DONE, RED, WELL DONE. I ALMOST HAD IT TOO.” He turned to face Dipper. “STILL, I GUESS ITS NOT A TOTAL WASH.” He swung the axe onto his shoulder and began to approach, a menacing smile twisting Wendy face. “MAYBE FORDSY WILL BE A LITTLE EASIER TO CONVINCE IF I START SENDING HIM BITS OF HIS FAVORITE NEPHEW.”

“Dipper, run!” the puppet yelled.

He didn’t have to be told twice, and he took off, running blindly through the forest.

He could hear the laugh again, low and menacing. “WHERE YOU GOING, KID?”

Suddenly he saw the puppet zooming beside him, somehow keeping pace. “I’m here.” Wendy said.

“I just need to get to the Shack, we should be able to find a way to get him out once we’re there.” He said in short bursts. The running was already beginning to take its toll, but he kept pushing.

“OH, PINE TREE, PINE TREE, PINE TREE.” Bill called. “YOU FORGET SOMETHING? I’VE GOT A HOLD OF RED’S BODY! I CAN DO WHAT A WANT TO IT WHILE I HAVE IT.”

Dipper felt something pang in the back of his mind. What was he-

“HM, WHAT DO YOU THINK, RED, THINK YOU COULD LIVE WITH ONE LESS LEG? CAUSE I CERTAINLY FEEL THAT WAY.”

His heart stopped.

“Keep going, he’s bluffing.” Wendy said tersely.

“OH AM I, RED?”

Dipper turned to the puppet, eyes wild. “Wendy, I don’t-”

“Just go, Dipper!”

Suddenly there was a grunt from within the woods, and then a deep laugh. “WOW, I FORGOT HOW INTERESTING HUMAN BLOOD IS!” Bill said. “IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR HAIR, KID!”

Dipper froze, and for a moment so did Wendy. “OH, DON’T WORRY. YOU’VE STILL GOT ALL YOUR LIMBS. FOR NOW......”

Dipper turned and bolted back towards the voice. “Dipper!” Wendy called, before grunting frustratedly and following.

Dipper saw Bill before Bill saw him. On Wendy’s arms was a deep, visceral cut, the blood dripping behind her in a gory trail. It also coated the edge of the axe, which was returned to her shoulder. Shit, how could he get Bill out....last time they had gotten lucky with the host, but Wendy was healthy and well-rested. But they couldn’t afford to...Suddenly Bill froze, turned, and looked right. At. Him.

“WELL, FINALLY!” He started approaching, eyes wide and smile wider. “HEY, GOT A RIDDLE FOR YOU. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH A PINE TREE, BESIDES THAT STUPID HAT?”

Dipper backed away, eyes widening with horror.

“YOU GIVE UP?”

“Please....get out....get out of her body,” he said, his voice hoarse and squeaking. “Please, Bill, I’ll-”

“YOU BOTH FALL DOWN WHEN I USE MY AXE!” Laughing manically, Bill lifted the axe back, swung low, towards his feet, and suddenly he felt himself being lifted up, off the ground, out of Bill’s reach.

“Dang, man,” Wendy’s voice came from above him, strained with effort. “You have bricks in that backpack or something?”

She was using the socked hand to hang on to the edge of his backpack and pull him up.

“Wendy! What are....Oh.....That’s-actually kind of cool.”

“Yeah, you can be impressed with my lifting later, dude, we gotta get to the Shack.” She said.

Bill gave a loud, exasperated sigh about fifteen feet below them. “YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, DO YA, RED? I’M IN YOUR BODY! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT TO IT, AND I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GONNA LIKE ANY OF IT.” And suddenly he took off into the woods.

“Wait, Wendy, turn around!”

“Are you serious?!” Wendy said. “When are you gonna get it in your head, man, I don’t care what he hurts, I can walk it off. I can’t walk off the freaking apocalypse!”

“I’M NOT JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” He said, frustrated. “What if he goes to attack your family? What if he goes after your friends? What if he kills you?!”

They froze in midair. And were suddenly going after Bill at a quick pace.

“Oh, thank hell” she said in a partly relieved voice. “He’s not going toward the house.”

“What about your dad?”

“He’s not working today, he went to go get a part for...for the.....” she stopped. “Oh gods...”

“What, part for what?!”

“WOW, THAT’S A LOT OF BLADES!”

A sudden machine roar that came from a few feet distant, and Wendy was booking, so fast she almost dropped Dipper, but they were too late.

Bill was standing on a boulder, about twenty feet tall, standing on the edge with the toes of his boots over the edge.

Below him was a running, open-topped woodchipper.

“WELL, WELL, THAT GOT YOUR ATTENTION.”

“Bill, you don’t want to do this!”

“AH, WHY NOT?” Bill grinned and looked down. “LOOKS LIKE A LOT OF FUN, AND YOU KNOW HOW FUNNY PAIN IS TO ME, PINE TREE. MAYBE I’LL LET HER BACK IN JUST BEFORE SHE HITS THE BLADES, SO SHE CAN GET THE FULL EXPERIENCE.”

“I’M GONNA KICK YOUR TRIANGLE ASS” Wendy was yelling.

Bill smiled and raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, DOLL? I’VE GOT YOUR BODY, AND AS WE’VE CLEARLY ESTABLISHED” He leaned her body dangerously over the edge, pinwheeling his arms almost comedically, pulling back at the last possible second. “I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO IT.”

“Alright, just....just back away from the edge.” Dipper said, his voice cracking under the stress. “What do you want? Okay, we can talk!”

“WE STILL ON THIS, KID? THE RIFT!” Bill twisted Wendy’s features into an exaggerated “duh!” facial expression. “WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS ALL FOR?”

“Don’t you dare!” Wendy said, turning the puppet on him. “Don’t give it to him, Dipper!”

“But-”

“TICK TOCK, PINE TREE.” Bill playfully lifted a leg, dangled it over the edge. “ITS AWFUL SLIPPERY UP HERE!”

“Wendy, I-”

“Do it and I will never forgive you, Dipper!” Wendy sounded furious, more fired up than he had ever seen her.

“I CAN’T JUST-”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK HE’LL DO TO ME AND MY FAMILY, DIPPER? TO YOU AND MABEL AND EVERYONE?!”

“YOU’VE GOT FROM ONE TO FIVE, OKAY?”

“Wendy-!”

“ONE......TWO......FIVE!”

“NO!”

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Bill fell backwards, laughing as he fell closer and closer to the roaring blades, Dipper screamed and reached out a hand, Wendy zoomed towards him to shove him out of the way, but it was too late.....and suddenly the clearing was red with blood and viscera, and the puppet dropped limp and handless to the ground..

A high cackle rang out in the forest, though he couldn’t see Bill. “TAKE THAT AS A LITTLE GIFT PINE TREE. MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU’LL LISTEN A LITTLE MORE TO MY DEALS.....CATCH YOU LATER......” the voice faded.

Dipper stared at the horrific scene in front of him, frozen in horror. Wendy.......

Manly Dan heard the screams all the way back at the cabin, and found the Pines boy on his knees, surrounded by gore and screaming like his insides were being ripped out by his worst nightmare.

Dipper sat up in his room, his arms wrapped around his knees in a pseudo-fetal position as he tried to stop shaking all over.

It was the middle of the night. He had been staring at the wall for hours now, trying to fall asleep, knowing he probably wouldn’t

Maybe not for the rest of his life.

Mabel had offered to stay up with him like half a dozen times, but....he couldn’t handle people right now. He thought she might have sensed that, because she agreed pretty readily to spending the night in Great-Uncle Ford’s room. Ford was out securing the perimeter, checking and double checking the enchantments. Now that they knew for sure Bill was in the area....well, they couldn’t take anymore chances.

So he sat alone in the attic, as the minutes ticked on in agonizing procession.

The others had tried, tried to say something, but....in the end the wound was still too sore, too open. None of them could really believe it. Wendy had always been so....so full of life, and now she was gone, so brutally, so...quickly. Stan had actually let Soos hug him. Mabel had been crying ever since she got the news.

Ford was doing the best he could to hold everyone together, but he had never met Wendy. He didn’t have the right words to say, and in the end, all he could do was try and take control of the situation, prevent any further damage.

And Dipper...

He had blacked out just after it happened. When he woke up, Dan had been shaking his shoulders and yelling for him to snap out of it. He had been screaming for the past ten minutes.

The next few hours had been like something out of a nightmare. He had had to explain to Dan whose.....insides.....were plastered all over the trees, the grass, the machines. The lumberjack had looked like he was going to pass out, but had somehow managed to hold it together long enough to use his phone to call Stan, so he would pick Dipper up. If he had been in his right mind, they might have gone back to the house, but he got the sense Dan was unwilling to face his kids at the moment. So they sat in the clearing. In silence. Dipper picked up the sock from the ground. There were only a few drop of blood on it, and he kept turning it over in his hand, mind blank and frozen solid.

As they waited...they would have looked odd to any passerby. Dipper’s emotions occasionally rose out of his throat like bile, and he would scream again, before stifling it. At some point Dan stood up and just started punching a tree. Repeatedly. It fell over. It would’ve been funny if not for the tears streaming out of his eyes.

Stan didn’t see the site of the accident (they had walked a little ways away), but the smell....he had dry-heaved against a tree for a minute or two before he could drive Dipper away.

And then he had to tell the story all over again to the rest of the family.

Dipper still had the sock. He pulled it out of his pocket, stared at it. His mind was blank, blank, blank, and then the dam broke, and tears were pouring out unstoppably and he was wretching, practically yelling as his chest heaved up and down and he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to breathe he wanted it to stop he wanted her to come back he wanted to sleep he wanted to not wake up he wanted to break something he-

He kept crying and crying, mentally begging someone to find him there in the dark, and at the same time praying that no one would see him like this.

Eventually, his consciousness had to surrender to his body, though, and he fell asleep, face dried and cracking and his blankets soaked. He fell into a confused, feverish black where thought floated disjointed and unrelated, but menacing, filling him with dread.....until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey man.”

Dipper jerked awake. It couldn’t be...and yet it was.

“....Wendy?”

The redhead did her familiar half-lidded smile and nodded. She was translucent and blue, like that lumberjack ghost. Across her body were a few nicks that looked like they were still bleeding. But it was her.

Dipper froze for a second, the tears reforming in his eyes. And then he tackled her in a hug more massive than any he ever would’ve allowed himself while she was alive. “I....I don’t understand, how is this....wait....” he let go, backed up a step. “Is this a dream?”

Wendy laughed softly. “Nah, man, its the real deal.”

“But....how did you-”

She shook her head. “I’m not still alive, dude. I definitely died today. But....” she rubbed the back of her head. “Wow, this is hard to explain....I guess it’s kind of a last wish thing? I can’t explain it, but I somehow knew I’d get the chance to visit one last person before I left for good. Sorry I took so long. Kind of took me a while to figure out the physics of it all.”

“Wait, so you....I’m your last visit?” He frowned with concern. “What about your family?”

Wendy shoved her hands in her pockets and turned to the side, face mostly blank. “Thought about it. Wanted to. But...they don’t know about all this.” she gestured a hand in a broad movement. “Not really. They’ve seen the weird stuff around Gravity Falls, but they don’t really question it. If I came back, I’d have to explain it all to them, what I was doing, how I died, how the whole town works, and....I figured they were safer not knowing about Bill. Because they would a hundred percent go looking for him, and if one of them died trying to avenge me....” she shook her head. “This was safer. Had a few things to talk to you about. Plus,” she smiled ruefully. “Guess I didn’t really like the idea of the last thing you saw of me being a demon controlled puppet, or a pile of mulch.”

Dipper paused, and then nodded. He still couldn’t believe it, she was here and yet....in a few hours he was going to have to say goodbye again. “Alright.”

“Gonna be honest.” Wendy said, “If I hadn’t become visible when I did I was gonna try the sock puppet thing again, I’ve been hanging out up there for hours, trying to make myself visible in the physical world.”

“Yeah sorry, I-” Dipper stopped talking, flushing with embarrassment. “Oh, you saw....all that?”

“Don’t worry about it, man. I was the same way when my mom died. Worse.”

Wendy floated over to the window, staring out into the night, sighing contentedly.

“I’m gonna miss this.” she said.

Dipper looked down, hand on his knees. “Do you have to go?”

“Hey, smart guy, you know I do.” she said is softly, gently. “It’s okay, really. I’m not scared.” she paused, then laughed softly. “Well, maybe a little bit, but, it is what it is.”

“Wendy I-...” He felt the tears rising up again, and he wanted to control it, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t....”I’m s-so sorry...I’m so sorry...’ He started sobbing.

“Hey, hey!” she said, startled and wrapping an arm around him. “It’s okay, dude, its not your fault.”

“It is though.” he said, the tears flowing freely, and he hated himself for being this weak. “It is, if I had just told you about Bill-”

“You couldn’t have known he would come after me.” she said it firmly, looking him square in the eyes.

“But-”

“Look. I made the deal, okay? My choice. And I’ll live with the consequences.”

“Wendy...I-I”

“I don’t blame you, Dipper. I was a dead girl walking from the second I shook his hand, but looking back I’d do it again. I did it because I thought I was protecting you guys and my family, and I wouldn’t go back on that idea. Sure, turned out to be a lie, but....right reason, wrong thing, you know?”

His tears still poured out, but a shaky smile came on his face and he pulled her into another hug. Maybe it was selfish, but he couldn’t help feeling relieved.

Wendy stiffened under the hug, but then returned it before letting go.

Dipper’s eyes drooped involuntarily, and she chuckled. “You should probably get some sleep.”

“No! No, I’m fine.” he rubbed at them fiercely.

“Dipper....”

“I can’t fall asleep!” He said desperately. “I fall asleep, and....and you won’t be here when I wake up. I....I’m not ready for it to be over yet.”

Wendy paused for a second, deep in thought. “Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Trust me, close your eyes and try and drift off.” A long pause. “I’m not going anywhere yet, promise.”

Dipper bit his lip, but obliged, lying down.

He must have been more tired than he thought, because in no time he was dead to the world, his mind wandering into shadowy realms, ones that looked vaguely like his old elementary school.

“Cool place. That desk yours?”

He turned. It was Wendy.

“I can enter the Dreamscape too. We can chill out here for a bit, until....” they both decided that sentence was better left unfinished.

They spent hours together. Dipper showed Wendy around the school (the parts that had been accurately recreated, anyway). Wendy experimented a bit with her ghost body, possessing the dream form of the class hamster, Mr. Snuffles.

Mostly, they just talked. About everything. Dipper shared his aspirations of becoming a paranormal investigator, and his apprehensions about how Uncle Ford saw him. Wendy gave him her survival tips for high school, told some stories about her mom, even talked about her brothers, which she almost never did with him. It was the closest he had ever felt to her. It was like now....there wasn’t any need to pretend, to play games. There would be no consequences for the things they said there, and they had a lot they needed to get out before the end they knew was approaching inevitably

“Part....part of why I chose to visit you, Dipper,” she looked off into the distance again. “is I knew you were gonna be blaming yourself. And....well, you shouldn’t anyways, but you really can’t now.”

“Why?”

“Cause people need you.” She lifted a knee to her chest, remained silent for a minute. “Look, Dipper, Bill’s got big plans. The way he talked, I think they’re coming soon. And if something happens to this town, I think you’re one of the few people who’ll be able to stop it.”

Dipper froze for a moment, and then laughed kind of awkwardly. “Heh. I mean, you know, I’ll help, but I’m pretty sure my Great-Uncle Ford’ll be able to handle it.”

“Well, I don’t know much about your uncle, but I don know he’ll almost definitely need you there too.”

“What are you talking about?” Dipper averted his eyes. “They don’t need me.”

“You kidding man?” she turned to him. “The family would fall apart without you. Like, I don’t even want to imagine it.”

“Well, I guess the journal-”

“It’s not just that.” she shook her head. “You’re a problem solver. You think fast on your feet, and you’ve got more guts than most people I know. Come hell or high waters....whatever that means, you’ll fix whatever is hurting your family. If Gravity Falls goes head to head with whatever Bill brings, they’re gonna need you on the front lines.” she turned to face him again. “So promise me you’ll keep going. Because I don’t think they’ll make it without you.”

Dipper looked her in the eyes, and smiled slightly. “Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He wasn’t sure if he believed her, but...the fact that she believed it meant a lot.

“Alright. Second thing.” she focused the intensity of her gaze. “Look after my family. Please, they...they don’t know what they’d be getting into. Keep them safe, and keep em from going after Bill. That goes for the group too. Promise?”

He nodded. “Promise.”

“And last thing....don’t go looking for Bill yourself either.”

“What? But I thought you said-”

“I meant it, I do really think you can beat him. But not before its time. Not before you have to. Like I said, whatever he’s got planned is coming soon, and the town won’t make it if you get taken out trying to avenge me.”

“I-”

“Dipper.” She looked him in the eye. “Promise.”

He sighed and then nodded again.

“Good.”

Suddenly wind kicked up, blasting their hair to the side (some of Wendy’s getting in Dipper’s eyes). It didn’t seem to affect anything else around them. No trees, no leaves, not even the grass turned under it, but Wendy looked to it with understanding growing in her eyes.

“It’s almost time....” she turned to look at Dipper again. “Dipper, I have to go soon.”

“Wendy-”

“I just wanted to tell you one last thing before I go....” she suddenly couldn’t look him in the eye. “Look, I know that things have been weird between us since...you know, your confession, and I know it must’ve hurt to be rejected like that.”

Dipper flushed. “Uh....” he swallowed hard. “No, no it-...okay, yeah it hurt a little bit, but....it was your choice. And you were right,” he sighed. “I am too young for you, and it totally makes sense.”

Wendy rubbed the back of her head, looking uncomfortable. “Well....I’m glad you were able to take it that maturely. There are a lot of guys who would be bitter, and I wanted you to know that I appreciated it.”

“N-no problem.” His voice came out in a squeak, and he blushed again.

“But I also wanted you to know.” she smiled, and looked directly into his eyes. “You’re definitely someone worth loving. Maybe not by me. But someone. Definitely.”

Dipper’s heart roared in his ears. He felt tears stinging at his eyes again, but his face split into a grin, and he pulled her into a hug. One that she returned more readily this time.

“Please, don’t go.” He mumbled into her shoulder, as the tears poured down his face. “Please.”

She pulled a little out of the hug. Wendy was smiling slightly, but there was a nervousness in her eyes she couldn’t hide. “It’ll be okay, man.” she stood up as suddenly a bright glow opened up behind her. “Tell my family and everyone that I love them, okay? Tell them....tell them I said it before I died, or something. Oh, and Dipper? Steer clear of wood chippers, man, they seriously hurt.” And with another lazy grin, she walked into the light....and everything vanished for Dipper.

Epilogue:

The afterlife was a lot.....emptier than Wendy thought. Based on the preachers her dad was always listening to she had always thought it would be pretty packed up here. Also, a lot more harps and winged guys floating around. But all she could see was a blank white expanse in every direction. There was a smell though, faint and lingering, like....wood chips and tobacco....why was that so-

“Hey kid.”

Wendy whipped around.

A woman stood in front of her, pose casual. She looked young, mid-twenties, but a couple of lines around her mouth and a certain assurance told that she was older than she looked. A pair of glasses perched on her nose and she had a gold cigar, the tip glowing white and the smoke floating in a formless cloud. She had a familiar lazy grin, and long hair the same color as....

Wendy’s eyes welled up with tears. “Mom?!”

Carolyn Corduroy grinned, and held her arms wide open.

Wendy crashed into her. Gods, she even smelled familiar. Her mom had always had a cigarette on her (she used to use em to light up sticks of dynamite when they need to blow out a stump), but when she had the time she would roll her own cigars, lacing the tobacco with woodchips. She had always loved that smell. It mixed with gunpowder that would get stuck in her hair and smoke.

Carolyn back up, taking in her daughter. “Look at you.” she put a hand on top of her head. “Still a short stack, huh?”

Wendy laughed, shoving her hand off. “Just not a tall freak yet.” she wrapped her arms around her mom again. “I missed you so so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Tears laced the edge of her mother’s voice, and she sniffed. “You’ve been....so brave.”

“Dad misses you too.” Wendy said, full-on crying now. “And the boys, and....I’ve been trying but-”

“You did so well.” She cupped her face in her hands, smiling softly. “Come on, walk with me. I’ve got a lot to show you.”

They each kept an arm around each other as they walked on. Carolyn held her cigar in the other hand, lifting it occasionally to her mouth and blowing out massive puff of smoke. “Don’t think I have to worry about you catching lung cancer now.” she winked at Wendy. Wendy smiled, and watched the puffs. They seemed to almost form shapes. Small hearts. Tree symbols, not unlike the ones on Dipper’s hat. A couple of times an axe.

The ground beneath their feet faded from the featureless white to springy grass without Wendy noticing where it began. A familiar clean smell washed over her, and it felt pleasantly cool, like the best fall day. Massive trees stretched to the sky. Somewhere birds were singing.

“Afterlife looks more like the woods back home then I thought.”

Carolyn grinned. “There’s a lot of different areas. This place can be pretty much anything you want. The Axolotl’ll show you around later.”

“Wait, Axolotl? Like the lizard think Stan has?”

Carolyn laughed. “Long story, one I’ll tell later.” She climbed up on a nearby boulder, sitting cross-legged. “This place is one of my favorite though. Like you said, its like home. And hey.” She flexed her arms, causing the tattoo on her shoulder of crossed axes to ripple. “We Corduroys never feel more at home than with the trees.”

Wendy laughed, sitting down beside her. “Damn, I forgot what a dork you are.”

Carolyn flicked her forehead. “Don’t use language like that in front of your mother.” She grinned, leaning back against the rock and blowing smoke into the air. Slowly her face sank and became a little more serious. “So....wanted to talk about something.” she looked at Wendy, smiled bittersweetly. “I mean, yeah, there’s a lot of things we have to talk about, but one thing, specifically right now.” She stuck the cigar back in her mouth. “I can’t keep as good an eye on you guys as I’d like. I can mostly just see stuff in the area when you buried me. Means I miss a lot. But.....” She blew out a puff of smoke, that formed a triangle above her head. “I saw how you went just fine.” Carolyn swallowed hard. “I.....I don’t know who that Bill Cipher creep was. And I don’t know much about that Dipper kid. But....” Tears started to pour out of Carolyn’s eyes, and she wiped them away, smiling waterily. “Shit, kid, I’m so proud of you.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “You’ve grown up to be....so so brave, and....I....” she laughed slightly. “Look, gonna be honest, not thrilled you’re here so soon, but....you’re incredible, kid. Sacrificing yourself like that, for the kid, for your family, for, I don’t know, the world, apparently. And....I can’t imagine having a better daughter. You’ve grown up to be better than I could ever imagined, and that’s saying a whole damn lot, because I already thought a hell of a lot about you.”

With those words, it was like a dam broke somewhere in Wendy’s chest. Tears came drizzling down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around her mom. All the fear, frustration, pain that she had been filling in the past twelve hours....it was like it had been a knot deep in her chest and her mom had tugged at the one string that made the whole thing come undone.

For a moment the two women just held each other, crying hard as they could. Finally, Carolyn sniffed, smiled and patted Wendy on the back. “Alright, nuff with the waterworks.” She slipped off the boulder and held out her hand to Wendy, grinning. “Got a lot to show you kid. And you’ve got a lot to catch me up on.”

Wendy smiled, hopped down, and linked her arm with her mom’s. “Sure thing.”

They started walking off through the woods. “Alright, first things first: has that guy Robbie stopped coming around? I didn’t like the look of him....”