#the best part about having a pompous writing style is making the dialogue not so pompous

[lovlorne]

———— 💔┊   CLEAR MORNING SKIES   offered a mirror into her soul. looking back at her were long, unruly tendrils, not yet coiled into their daily position, nor dyed their unofficial black and neon pink. pastels protruded into her newfound persona, leaving her to resemble a tired shell of that run - away popstar. she didn't hate this stranger — but their existence was a relic, one to be left buried... 'til time came for it.

thus, she oft kept door under lock, key, and multiple deadbolts to mitigate the possibility of an underling opting to walk in, identify her, and weaponize such knowledge to keep her beneath their heel. like passing clouds, the usual fleeting thought    ( who am i, really? )   caught her attention, only to be dismissed away by a half - hearted hand. still, in that moment, her contemplated identity crisis lingered, pondered in solemn silence.

as silent as shattered glass could be.

her head shoots skyward come cacophony. daylight forms a spotlight as it enters her room unfiltered. bounding away as a squid upon realizing those shards could very well snipe her eyes, she scrambles for her dapple dualies, aims down her sights, and bares her fangs, only for trigger finger to falter.

          ❝ SHIVER!? BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK— ❞

                                             ﹙ @cutdeepshiver --- 💖'd ﹚

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

[miraculousfanworks]

Miraculous Fanworks’ Grammar Guide: Commas

Image credit.

Grammar. It’s confusing, isn’t it? English has so many rules to follow!

Well, worry no more. We here at the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server have got your back.

Here is the first section of the Miraculous Fanworks’ Grammar Guide, 24 Hard and Fast Rules for Commas--Miraculous Fanworks Style! 

I just want to preface this by saying that it’s okay to break grammar rules in fiction writing for stylistic choices. Especially in dialogue.

But in order to intentionally break rules or guidelines, you have to recognize what they are and learn when it’s best to break them.

The Miraculous Fanworks’ Grammar Guide is a collection of basic rules of grammar and writing tips condensed into a single document, with examples from our very own Miraculous Ladybug.

If you have suggestions for the guide, feel free to join the server, DM me directly on Discord at @Cass6177, or drop a suggestion in my inbox.

Thanks, and enjoy!

-”Server Mom” Cass Maylis

24 Hard and Fast Rules for Commas--Miraculous Fanworks Style

1) Commas are all about authorial intent and indicate pauses. Basic rule of thumb: if your sentence needs too many commas, it needs to be rewritten and you probably have clauses in it that should be sentences on their own.

2) Never use a comma after "but" if it's the beginning of a sentence. This is actually because of commas as a clause separator. "But" can serve as a transition word to contrast against the previous sentence (this actually has some open grammatical questions as to whether or not it's completely precise), or it can be used in the middle of a sentence to conjoin two clauses. In the second case, you use a comma to separate the two clauses, but in the first case there is no clause to separate.

3) Using a comma before but in the middle of a sentence is only acceptable when the second phrase can stand on its own. For example, you wouldn't use a comma here: "Marinette was happy but also sad," because the second part isn't a complete sentence. But you would use a comma here: "Marinette was happy, but she was also sad," because the pronoun makes the second part of the sentence stand on its own. A sentence that can stand on its own is called an independent clause. This rule of thumb also applies to "and" and "or."

4) You need a comma before the word "too" if the word needs emphasized or requires a pause before and after it. Like, “Marinette, too, was Adrien." The commas are needed because the too interrupts the flow of the sentence. If the two doesn't come in the middle but at the end, then a comma isn't needed. Like, "Marinette liked bananas too." Too is all about authorial intent.

4a) From C-Note#9640: Commas surrounding "too" is actually a meaning thing. "Too" without commas means "in excess." ",too," with commas surrounding it means "also."

5) You always use commas to separate out things in a list. But how many to use and where to use them are subjects of contention. For example, in the sentence, "Marinette liked red, green, and blue," I place a comma after the word green and some people do not. This comma immediately before the “and” is called the Oxford comma, and it drives a lot of people up the wall. People get into fights over this, haha! I like to use them because it separates the words in my head. For example, someone saying, "Adrien owes $100 to Nino, Alya, and Chloe," makes the $100 owed to each of them. Whereas saying, "Adrien owes $100 to Nino, Alya and Chloe," makes Adrien owe Nino $100, and Adrien owes Alya and Chloe some other numbers making up 100, like 50/50. This is why I go to bat for the Oxford comma.

5a) Addendum to guideline 5: Lists are complicated, because you need a comma with three items but not two. Like, "Marinette likes red and green" does not need a comma, but "Marientte likes red, green, and blue" needs commas.

6) You need a comma before a dialogue tag unless you’re using an exclamation point or a question mark (or dashes, which indicate an interruption; more on that later). For example, “‘What?’ Marinette exclaimed” does not need a comma, where as “‘You have got to be kitten me,’ Chat said” does. Dialogue tags are also called attributive tags. They can even come in the middle of the sentence, in which case you need commas. For example: “‘You,’ Chat said, ‘have got to be kitten me.’”

6a) You need a comma after the word said or a dialogue tag if you're using a gerund (ing word). For example, "'Haha,' Marinette laughed, wrinkling her nose," needs a comma. But "'Haha,' Marinette laughed as she wrinkled her nose" does not need a comma. Does that make sense?

6b) In American English, commas always go before closing quotation marks. For example, “‘No freaking way,’ Marientte said,” requires a comma inside. But in British English, the convention is the opposite; the comma goes after the closing quotation mark. For example, “‘No freaking way’, Marinette said.” If you are writing for a British audience, use a comma after the closing quotation mark.

7) Using a comma after then is complicated. Here are some examples for sentences using the word then: http://sentence.yourdictionary.com/then

8) There are also things called compound predicates. From Grammarly, "You get a compound predicate when the subject of a sentence is doing more than one thing. In a compound predicate that contains two verbs, don’t separate them with a comma." For example, "Marinette smiled and waved" does not need a comma. But "Marinette spotted the man who entered the diner, and waved" does need a comma because we want to make sure the reader knows that Marinette waved, not the man. Make sure your reader doesn't misread.

9) Comma splices are interesting, too. When you're trying to join two independent clauses, you need a conjunction or a semi-colon. For example, "We were out of milk, I went to the store" is incorrect. You need, "We were out of milk; I went to the store," or "We were out of milk, so I went to the store."

10) Participial phrases that introduce a sentence usually need a comma. For example, "Grabbing her umbrella, Marinette left the house."

11) Interrupters and parenthetical phrases need commas. Interrupters are used to show tone or emotion. Like, "Marinette, sadly, went to camp." Parenthetical phrases are little pieces of information that don't affect the sentence as a whole, but give information. Like, "Adrien’s cooking skills, if you can call them skills, left something to be desired."

11a) Em dashes are interesting, because they're used to set off parenthetical phrases. If you use an em dash, you have to accept that what you place inside the em dashes is skippable. The sentence still has to make sense without the information contained inside the em dash. To use Treees' example from before (or something like it), "Adrien's car--a blue van--was a junkheap." The bit about the blue van is bonus information that the sentence doesn't need. But you also don't need an em dash in that sentence, a comma will do. As a good rule of thumb, em dashes are used when the bonus information phrase is super long. From Fight: "As soon as they were inside--a process Chat didn’t even pay attention to; one moment he was outside on her balcony, in the next he was standing in front of her on the floor of her room--Ladybug dropped her transformation."

12) From Grammarly: "A question tag is a short phrase or even a single word that is added to the end of a statement to turn it into a question. Writers often use question tags to encourage readers to agree with them. A question tag should be preceded by a comma." For example, "I think question tags are silly, don't you?"

13) When addressing someone by name, use a comma. For example, "Marinette, find your shoes." But not, "Marinette doesn't understand her letters yet."

14) From Grammarly: "An appositive is a word or phrase that refers to the same thing as another noun in the same sentence. Often, the appositive provides additional information about the noun or helps to distinguish it in some way." Appositives that are necessary for the sentence to function are called essential and do not need a comma, whereas unnecessary appositives are non-essential and need a comma. An essential appositive would be "Edgar Allen Poe's work The Raven is neat." The Raven is the essential appositive to the noun work. A nonessential appositive example is this: "My mother, Sabine, is a great cook." Sabine is the non-essential appositive to the word mother and needs a comma.

15) Commas in dates are tricky. Month-day-year formats need commas. "June 15, 2020." Day-month-year formats do not. "15 June 2020." If you are using a day of the week and a date, use a comma. "Tuesday, June 15, at three o'clock, ..." When referencing only a month or a year, you don’t need a comma. “June 2020.”

16) When using multiple adjectives to modify a noun, they might be coordinate, which means they are interchangeable and should be separated by commas. If a sentence still sounds natural (rhythm-wise) then the adjectives are coordinate. For example, “That man is a self-righteous, pompous, annoying idiot” vs. “That man is an annoying, self-righteous, pompous idiot.” If adjectives are not coordinate, don’t separate them with a comma. “The adorable little boy ate ice cream.” Little adorable doesn’t sound natural because of rhythm, so don’t use a comma to separate the non-coordinate adjectives.

17) Don’t separate a transitive verb from its direct object with a comma. A transitive verb is one that acts on an object. Similarly, an intransitive verb is one that doesn’t act on an object. Intransitive: “Marinette eats.” Transitive: “Marinette eats food.” Food is the object, so don’t separate the verb (eats) from the object with commas. Intransitive: “Adrien cleans often.” Transitive: “Adrien cleans his bathroom often.” Bathroom is the object being acted upon, so don’t separate the verb (cleans) from the object with commas.

18) From Grammarly: “A nonrestrictive clause offers extra information about something you have mentioned in a sentence, but the information isn’t essential to identify the thing you’re talking about. Nonrestrictive clauses are usually introduced by which or who and should be set off by commas.” For example, “The Agreste manor, which Adrien lived in, was freaking huge.” The clause, “which Adrien lived in,” is nonrestrictive because “Agreste manor” is already specific. The clause doesn’t add anything to the sentence; it’s just bonus information.

19) Opposite from nonrestrictive clauses are restrictive clauses. Restrictive clauses offer necessary information about the specific noun you used. They are often introduced by that or who and are never set off by commas. For example, “The bakery that Marinette’s family runs is fantastic.” If you removed the clause about the Dupain-Cheng family, you’d have no idea what bakery this was talking about.

20) From Grammarly: “Correlative conjunctions are conjunctions that come in pairs (such as either/or, neither/nor, and not only/but also) and connect words or phrases in a sentence to form a complete thought. Typically, commas are unnecessary with correlative conjunctions.” For example, “Either the black undershirt or the red sweater will look good with your jeans, Adrien.”

21) Parenthetical asides are used to give bonus info to the reader when a nonrestrictive clause would disrupt the flow of the sentence. Commas are placed after the closing parentheses, but not before either the opening or the closing parentheses. If the sentence would not require any commas if the parenthetical statement were removed, the sentence should not have any commas when the parentheses are added. For example, “After opening the new cookie tin (and eating several of the cookies), Adrien had a hard time replacing the lid.”

22) Don’t use a comma between an article  and a noun. An article is a part of speech that indicates, specifies, and limits a noun (eg. a, an, or the in English). Incorrect: “I’ll eat an, apple.” Correct: “I’ll eat an apple.” Often times we pause when speaking and want to add a comma there in our writing to indicate the pause, but this is grammatically incorrect. If you want to indicate a pause between an article and a noun, use an ellipses: “I’ll eat an… apple.”

23) The phrase “as well as” doesn’t need commas unless it’s part of a nonrestrictive clause. For example, “Adrien wore a white overshirt as well as a black undershirt.” And also, “Adrien’s black undershirt, as well as his white overshirt, were garments he wore.”

24) The phrase “such as” requires a comma if it introduces a nonrestrictive clause. For example, “Coniferous trees, such as pine and spruce, smell great.” But if it introduces a restrictive clause, omit the comma. For example, “Trees such as pine and spruce smell great.”

[thethespacecoyote]

So I found the Bad Things Happen Bingo blog last night and of course put in a request for a card...and the trope “locked in a trunk” apparently inspired me enough to write all this even though I haven’t received my card yet so....here we go...

Uhh modern AU? And warnings for parent/child abuse and claustrophobic situations. Brendol Hux is a fucking asshole, what else is new. 

It all starts with a simple request.

“Move in with me.”

Hux halts the rim of his coffee cup right before his lips. His eyebrows lift in surprise for a moment, before slanting back to their usual place.  

“Father won’t like that.”

Kylo snorts, resting his chin in his palm.

“So? You’re old enough not to need your dad’s permission for everything.”

Hux hums, leaning back into his chair. The late afternoon breeze brushes the scant strands of hair not combed back in the style he wears to work. Kylo likes when they meet at this cafe and he can see Hux a little more relaxed, not weighed down by his work or studies. Still clad in his perfectly ironed grey dress shirt, of course, but with a more casual air about him.

Grey is a Monday color. Hux usually grows a little more vibrant as he gets through the week. On a particularly good Friday, Kylo might even see him wearing blue.

“Hey.” Kylo reaches across the table, tapping Hux’s hand.

“Promise me you’ll at least…ask. Okay? Start a dialogue.”

Hux huffs.

“I think you know how well ‘dialogues’ with Brendol go.” His lips alternate between a flat line and a frown, as if imagining such a conversation. He sets his empty mug down onto the table, letting out a sigh.

“Fine. I will…try. Later.” He slings his book bag up over his shoulder, before moving to leave.

“Hey.” Hux stops, only for Kylo to grab him by the collar and pull him in for a kiss. He shoots Kylo a frown belied by the blush in his cheeks when he pulls back. Kylo only winks and pats him on the chest.

“Good luck.”

Three hours later and back in the comfort of his own apartment, Kylo decides to send Hux a text. Mostly to see how things went, and definitely not because he’s thinking how nice all of Hux’s personal belongings would look alongside his.

>>6:34pm

Hey howd it go with the old man?

Kylo rests the opened phone atop his knee, looking back around the living room. He’ll have to tweak his cleaning habits, stop draping his workout shirts over the arm the couch before he remembers to launder them. Hux isn’t quite a neat freak but Kylo’s seen his room and the order that he keeps, and he would prefer not to drive his boyfriend completely crazy once they move in together.

Hux has always wanted a cat. The landlord requires a deposit but Kylo thinks it might be worth it. He’d cover it all out of pocket if it meant getting Hux to agree.

Kylo hopes he will. He’s been considering this for a long time, working up the courage to show Hux just how much he means to him, how seriously he’s taking this.

>>6:46pm

if hes being a dick you can always just come here u know

It wouldn’t take them too long. There’s not much furniture Hux would have to move in, after all. Most things in the house belong to his parents and he hates their taste with a passion. Kylo can’t really blame him—he’s seen the Hux residence many, many times, and he’s not impressed. It’s bizarrely antiquated, and stuffed full of his father’s ornamented trophies and old military curios, as well as familial paraphernalia that Kylo can’t understand anyone would want.

“What the hell is that?”

Hux drops his book bag atop the ottoman, turning to where Kylo bends over a huge, black and gold trunk against the far wall of the sitting room, lying beneath a rack of Civil War-era swords.

“That damned thing. It’s hideous, isn’t it?”

“I’ll say.” Kylo raps his knuckles against the lid, knock resounding in the dense wood.

“You know my granddad threatened to lock father up in that thing when he was young and misbehaving?” Hux sneers. “Shame, honestly. I would’ve left him there to rot.”

“Hah. If only.”

Two hours later, and Hux hasn’t answered any of his texts.

It’s then that Kylo starts to get worried.

Phasma says Hux is interviewing for grad school upstate.

When Kylo presses her for more details, though, she tells him she hasn’t actually seen him, just heard word from his parents. To her credit, she doesn’t seem all that convinced, but waves off Kylo’s more extreme concerns.

“Armie isn’t useless. He can handle himself.”

And that’s true. Kylo knows this. And he certainly doesn’t want to be—overprotective. At least not so badly that it’ll end up driving Hux away. He’s just asked the man to move in with him, he doesn’t want to push his luck and scare him off.

So he gives Hux a few more days. Kylo texts him from time to time and leaves a voicemail once, hoping for a response, but doesn’t want to come across as desperate, or creepy. He’s worried, obviously, but if Hux has his reasons for keeping his distance, then Kylo’s going to try to respect them. Even if the possibility that Hux is ignoring him hurts.

On the third day Kylo finally decides to go by Hux’s house to see what’s going on.

He dislikes both of his boyfriend’s parents for obvious reasons, but if anyone’s going to know what happened to him, it’s them. So Kylo bikes to the ritzy urban neighborhood Hux lives in, zips his hoodie up over the metal T-shirt he’s wearing, and rings the doorbell.

He hopes it’s Hux’s stepmom who answers the door—she seems to like him, at least outwardly—but to his misfortune it’s the reddened, squinty-eyed face of Brendol Hux that peers from beneath the chain lock. He always reminds Kylo of a bulldog well past its prime, toothless and arrogant.

“Oh, it’s you.” Brendol hisses, openly disdainful. A usual greeting.

“Mr. Hux,” Kylo starts, deciding it best to ignore the vitriol. “Is Armitage in?”

Brendol’s bushy eyebrows furrow, lower lip jutting out.

“No.”

The door starts to swing close, but before Kylo can hold himself back he grabs the handle and holds it firm.

“Wait!” Kylo’s never liked to sound desperate, especially in front of Hux’s parents. “I…where is he?”

Brendol’s face colors deeper with anger, quickly snapping back.

“Not here. He’s out of town. Let go of my door, boy.”

Kylo glares, searching the part of Brendol’s face he can still see between the door and the jamb. Something’s off, even for the pompous man he’s come to dislike, and for a moment he wonders if he could force his way inside, interrogate this bastard as to Hux’s whereabouts.

“All right. Tell him I came by,” Kylo says, knowing Brendol won’t. He releases the handle and lets the old bastard slam the door in his face, leaving Kylo alone on the stoop.

Cold breezes at his hair, making him shudder even with his sweatshirt. He looks up, searching the flat, dim windows of the home, fruitlessly grasping for an explanation.

Hux, where are you?

By the fifth day Kylo thinks he’s going to go crazy.

He tries calling Hux’s phone again but it doesn’t even go to voicemail now. It must be out of battery, which is insane—Hux never lets his phone run out of battery, he’s far too paranoid not to be in constant contact with his job, his schooling, his boyfriend. Unless he’s being isolated on a mountaintop as some kind of perverse MBA interview, Kylo’s no longer buying that excuse.

Not that he really bought it in the first place.

Phasma says she’ll try to file a missing persons report in the morning, provided they don’t hear from Hux. Kylo can’t wait that long.

The sun is already setting by the time Kylo decides to go back to Hux’s house, this time not planning to take Brendol’s bullshit. He has no evidence but he knows the old bastard’s lying. Hux, changeable and prissy as he can be—wouldn’t cut off contact with Kylo for no reason. Not after everything they’ve been through together. He just wouldn’t.

Kylo pumps the pedals of his bike furiously, cold wind whipping his hair out of the bun he’d tied it back into. He tries to focus on not hitting cars or other pedestrian but his mind is already racing a mile ahead, right to the ornate porch of the Hux family home.

He doesn’t understand how, but he knows Hux is there. After all, he promised Kylo he’d talk with his father right before he disappeared. He’s convinced Brendol’s done something, that somehow he’s keeping Hux in that house, isolated away from everyone who cares for him.

But Hux isn’t stupid. He would’ve figured out a way around his parents, find a means to contact Kylo, or Phasma, or his work. He must have.

Unless he’s unable to. Kylo’s worst fears creep up as he takes a turn too quickly, nearly wiping out against the asphalt. His heartbeat hammers, sweaty fingers clenching around the handlebars.

No. Not even scum like Brendol would sink so low. He couldn’t. What could possibly be the reason? Hux has never gotten along with either his father or his stepmom, but they were still his parents.

They couldn’t. Unless—

—Brendol has never liked Kylo, never appreciated his closeness with his son. He’s always looked at him with contempt, like he’s tainting something valuable with his mere presence. So Hux has kept their relationship away from his father’s eyes—at school or their favorite cafes, or Kylo’s apartment.

“He’s obsessed, you know.” Hux rests his head on Kylo’s shoulder, hand sheathed in his boyfriend’s larger one. They sit on Kylo’s large couch, hardly paying attention to whatever’s playing on the television.

“Your dad?”

Hux nods.

“It’s like he was born in the 1800s. He wants ‘heirs’ to carry on the family name.”  He breaths out, derisive and tight. “He’s insane.”

Kylo squeezes his hand, resting his chin atop Hux’s head.

“I mean. We could always adopt.”

The chuckle Hux lets out is humorless.

“Right. He’ll never accept that.”

Maybe Brendol has never quite understood the depth of his and Hux’s relationship. And Hux has kept it that way, until—

Kylo pushes his bike even faster, heat and anger brimming behind his eyes as he envisions what might have happened. Hux is a fighter when backed into a corner, even in arguments with his father, he wouldn’t have—Brendol must’ve—

Kylo’s mind guides him through the mental map he has of Hux’s house, digging into every niche, trying to uncover what must’ve happened to Hux, where his boyfriend could possibly be—

Then he’s in the sitting room, and some unbelievably force is pulling him towards the northern wall, right beneath the rack of oxidized, heirloom swords as Kylo’s ears fill with the sounds of a distant scream.  

He can barely hold a shock of tears back as his heart drops out of his chest.

Kylo halts his bike in front of the Hux residence, letting it fall against the sidewalk as he storms up the steps. He forgoes the doorbell and slams his fist below the knocker, pounding into it until the door wrenches inwards to reveal Brendol, still protected behind the chain latch.

“Again? What do you want?” He spits, already furious, but Kylo won’t let himself be turned away this time.

“Let me see Armitage.”

“No. I told you, he’s not here.”

Kylo keeps his grip firm on the handle, preventing Brendol from closing it on him.

“Let me in.”

“No. Leave, boy, before I have you arrested.”

Kylo scrapes his knuckles against the door’s carved decoration, lips snarled in anger.

“The only person who’s going to be arrested tonight is you, you monster.”

Brendol balks, mouth falling open.

“Really? All this, over such a runt?” The man shakes his head, looking at Kylo with open disgust. “He’s gone, boy, and you’d best forget about him.”

“I won’t!”

Kylo roars and rams as hard as he possibly can, inwards, and before Brendol can react the latch rips from the old wood of the front door, scattering splinters as the golden chain swing wildly. Kylo pushes through the doorway, shoving Brendol aside as he takes off out of the foyer and down the hallway. He can hear Hux’s stepmom scream from the dining room, then the sound of twin footsteps hammering after him at different paces.

Thankfully, Kylo can outrun the pair of them—and he already knows exactly where he’s going.

The persian rug in the main hallway bunches up beneath his feet as he abruptly turns into the sitting room, where he and Hux had spent many an afternoon hanging out after work or school. It’s the most palatable room in the house though that’s not saying much—full of weighty, old-fashioned furniture, tacky wallpaper, and the smell of aged upholstery as it is.

Kylo grabs the heavy armchair he used to sit in, scraping up the hardwood floors as he shoves it in front of the door, locking the carved back beneath the handle. Moments later the door shakes with impact, knob frantically turning in place. Kylo backs away as Brendol screeches and slams his fist against the heavy wood, intimidated only momentarily by the man’s vitriol and threats before he turns around and stares across the room to the furthest wall.

The trunk sits dark and huge and hideously ornamented, right where it had always sat every time he and Hux had wasted hours in this room, studying and talking of the future, stealing a kiss and sometimes more whenever his parents were out of the house—

“Can you open it?”

Hux lifts his eyes from his textbook, tilting his head to the side as he notices Kylo looking at the trunk.

“Sure. There’s a key on the bookcase, right by granddad’s picture.” Kylo follows where Hux points, landing on a black and white portrait of a severe older man. “There’s nothing good inside it, though. No hidden treasures, if that’s what you were wondering.”

Kylo shakes his head, smirking.

“And here I was, planning on marrying you for your fortune!”

“Pfft.” Hux rolls his eyes before returning to his studying. “You’d have to pry it from my father’s cold, dead hands first.”

Kylo races over to the bookcase, nearly tripping over a gaudy footrest in his haste. He grabs for the fourth shelf up, knocking over Hux’s granddad’s photograph as he grabs for the key braced up against it. The brass feels cool against his sweating palm but calms him little as he stumbles over to the trunk and lands on his knees before it.

Hot tears already leak from the corners of Kylo’s eyes, hands shaking between rage and fear as he fumbles with the key. A harsh sob breaks from his lips when he nearly drops it, the weighty brass hard to keep hold of as he jams the toothed end into the lock.

The pounding on the door continues. He can hears Hux’s step-mom shout something about the authorities, before Brendol angrily cuts her off. Kylo tunes out the argument, turning the key into the lock and opening it with a heavy click he can feel in his throat.

The lid swings up and open of its own accord, base of the trunk rocking only slightly with the weight inside.

A strange noise claws from between Kylo’s lips, wrought with pain so deep it doesn’t even sound human.

At first he thinks Hux must be dead. He’s so small, bunched up and forced into such a cramped space, his knees jammed up to his chest and hands resting beneath his cheek. A bruise had blossomed and died on his face, its edges already fading to yellow. There’s dried blood on his forehead and fresh underneath his fingernails—whittled down to the quick—and it’s painfully more vibrant than his skin, even his hair. The usual warm ginger locks look wan and limp, and he’s so pale and still and thin and he’s dead.

At first Kylo can’t even touch him, one palm clasped across his face, soaking up his tears and soft whimpers of no and please. But then the door shudders from impact, and Brendol’s roaring from the other side, shouting swears and slurs, and Kylo pulls his hand away and tries to breath, to calm himself enough so that he can finish this—even if it means confirming the worst.

Hux is still in the dress shirt Kylo saw him in last, the light grey fabric wrinkled and grimy. The inside of the trunk is dirty, velvet dusty and stained and smelling, a sickening coffin for someone as fiery and strong as Hux, and Kylo knows he needs to get him out of here, that he doesn’t deserve this, but it’s so hard to get his arms to move, not after the effort of lifting that key, knowing what he’d find inside—

But just as Kylo finally reaches into the trunk, trying to figure out where to put his hands first, Hux’s face twitches. Kylo gasps, holding his breath as he watches, for another sign of life just to confirm it’s not his grief-addled brain playing tricks on him. But sure enough, before his eyes Hux’s lips part, a slight cough disturbing the red dust at the bottom of the trunk.

“A-Armie?” His voice is so small, so tight, it doesn’t even belong to him. Kylo wishes it didn’t, wishes he didn’t have to be the one pulling his boyfriend out of a fucking trunk—

Hux doesn’t respond much to his voice, his reddened eyelids only fluttering slightly. With more care than Kylo’s ever used in his life he slips his hands into the trunk, beneath Hux’s hunched shoulders and bent legs. There’s not enough room to stretch him out all the way so he lifts his torso up first, canting his shoulder so Hux can rest his head as he lifts him up and out. His legs finally are allowed to unfold, dangling limply over Kylo’s forearm.  

He sobs again, harder, when he feels how light Hux in his arms. He’s always been a little on the scrawnier side, but Kylo’s never been able to feel his ribs through his back. Has never been able to hold him like a child, like a delicate treasure on the verge of disintegration.

All Kylo can think it’s that it’s been five days. Five. Days.

Hux is still so cold and still in his arms he almost can’t believe he’s still alive, that he could’ve possibly lasted that long without suffocation, but as Kylo cradles his boyfriend he can’t deny that barest breath between cracked lips. He clings to it, in fact, the fragile thread that still holds Hux to the living world.

Kylo’s sure to hold his boyfriend close while not confining him—never confining Hux ever again, never would he be trapped like that, oh God, Kylo would never allow it—

Hux moans, his head resting against his Kylo’s broad shoulder. His bloodied fingers twitch against the fabric of his boyfriend’s shirt, curling weakly into it as his eyelids struggle to open. Kylo shakes his head and tightens his grip, pressing his lips to the top of Hux’s hair. It’s lank and dirty, smelling of sick and the musty interior of the trunk but Kylo inhales deep anyway, salvaging the barest cling of familiar shampoo on Hux’s scalp.

“Everything’s going to be okay, all right?” Kylo says a little too loud, perhaps leaning into hysteria, but he wants Hux to really feel it, to know immutably that he’s safe, that no one else will ever lay a hand on him again.

Kylo stays holding him, cradling Hux’s brittle body even as he cradles his phone between his ear and shoulder, even when the cries of Brendol and his wife are drowned out by the scream of sirens as they light the sky outside the sitting room’s only window red. He parts from Hux only when a new voice and a measured knock sounds on the door, and by then his boyfriend’s eyes are opened—the vibrant green now dull and rheumy, his cheeks glistening with quiet tears.

Kylo gets him out of that house quickly, and though Hux looks waxen and exhausted against the bland canvas of the stretcher, it’s a far better sight than what had greeted him when Kylo had first opened that trunk.

Even as he kisses Hux’s scraped knuckles, riding beside him in the ambulance, Kylo knows only a thousand nights spent sleeping at his lover’s side will chase that image out of his nightmares.  

[caitsbooks]

Caitsbooks Reviews: The Impossibility of Us by Katy Upperman

Overall: 3.8/5 Stars Characters: 3/5 Setting: 3/5 Writing: 4/5 Plot and Themes: 4/5 Awesomeness Factor: 4/5 Review in a Nutshell: The Impossibility of Us is a beautifully written novel with very important themes, yet suffers from a bad case of insta-love. Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter  || Reviews

- Premise -

The Impossibility of Us follows Elise and Mati, during the summer they fall in love. Elise has just moved to a small town to help out her sister-in-law and niece after her brother was killed in Afganistan. Mati has moved from Afganistan to America temporarily so that his father can get the best treatment for his cancer. When the two fall for each other, they are forced to face their differences and see how cruel society can be. - Setting -

The small coastal town this book takes place in is nice and quaint. It serves as the perfect setting to blend the beauty and softness of the main romance with the harsh realities of discrimination and Islamaphobia. - Writing - 

This author's writing style is very unique. Elise's chapters are written in prose that is flowery and elegant, while Mati's chapters are written in verse. This was a surprise for me while reading, and not exactly a welcome one. I typically avoid verse, it's just not for me, but by the end of the book, I actually came to enjoy his chapters. This writing style definitely grows on you. At first, I was not a fan but eventually appreciated it. However, there were definitely a few times that the flowery prose came across a bit pompous to me, and some parts of the character dialogues felt like it came straight out of your typical Lifetime movie (Sorry Mom for insulting Lifetime movies. I enjoy them too but I also know they aren't always well-written). - Plot-

The majority of this plot is great. It hooks you in and never feels dull. Except there is one aspect that nearly ruined the book for me. The Insta-love. Mati and Elise have one of the worst cases of insta-love. Especially in Mati's case. Literally the first time he sees her he's in love with her. Elise has some prejudices that hold her back, but she gets over the SO QUICKLY. It was a little unbelievable. And by a little, I mean a lot. - Characters - 

Speaking of the characters! I just didn't really like Elise. She felt very cliche and dramatic at the beginning of the book. She does develop and get better, but I still didn't like her that much by the end. Mati was definitely an interesting character. He was a lot different from your typical YA love interest. He is such a soft and caring guy! I really appreciated that. Also, there are two gay characters! I absolutely adored the both of them and their little subplots. I do wish we got to know them a little more. Elise's friendships with them didn't feel earned. It was similar to her insta-love with Mati. They met and suddenly they're ride or die best friends who will do anything for each other, while not knowing anything about the other. - Themes -

The themes in this novel are really what makes it worthwhile for me. As you can probably guess, this book touches on the topics of racism and Islamaphobia, and I feel it handles them really well. I am loving the rise in novels with Muslim protagonists, and it makes my day to see more diverse books on the shelves. - Conclusion -

Pros- Great themes, interesting writing style Cons- Insta-love, relationships lack depth Overall- 4/5 stars. The Impossibility of Us is a great read with an important message, that is worth the while if you can look past the dreaded insta-love.

[comicteaparty]

February 4th-February 10th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 4th, 2019 to February 10th, 2019.  The chat focused on Offshore Comic by Stefan Gasic.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Offshore Comic by Stefan Gasic~! (http://www.offshorecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 10th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite strip in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Given the comic’s focus on financial markets and all that composes them, what is something this comic has taught you about the subject? Alternatively, what is something you wished you understood better to understand the comic’s comedy?

QUESTION 4. How do you think the comic’s illustrative style and choices help the comedy of the comic? What is one moment where a particular design or image really stood out to you and helped the point the strip was trying to convey?

QUESTION 5. The comic features several recurring subjects like the legitimacy of IQ scores, LLCs, and more. Which of these recurring topics did you like the most? What about it caught your interest?

Stefan G

Hello everyone, 1) Just updated www.offshorecomic.com with a new strip. Check it out. 2) RebelVampire, are your questions intended for me or any new reader? Ciao, Stefan the creator of #Offshorecomic

snuffysam

They're intended for both (still working through the archive)!

keii4ii

Is there a way to get permalinks for individual strips, so I can come back to specific ones at a later time?

Stefan G

Thanks & okay, snuffysam keii4ii, unfortunately there’s no way to get permalinks for individual strips ... I coded the website myself as a side project and am not that good a coder

keii4ii

Oh man, I can relate to that... If I ever get rich, comic website coding and maintenance stuff is the first thing I'll hire someone to do for me

I do like how it loads and makes it easy to read through the archive, for what it's worth.

Stefan G

Thanks for the feedback ... and I totally, totally agree. One could spend a fortune for a coder to take care of all the fixings and stuff ... now I’m learning on the side whenever there’s time left over from work & family.

Stefan G

Answer to Q1 => readers have found the “happiness” strip the best. It’s also one of my favourite ones [succinct & clever & relatable] ...I truly don’t have a favourite strip, but the attached Reto & Urs -strips make me chuckle whenever I read them [I appreciate below-the-waist-humour and/or humour where people are really, really selfish].

lomcia (princess_lom)

1. The newest one is so funny

2. Trader

3. i dont work in office but i cant find nothing to improve that comic, i think the design of characters and humor is on really high lvl 12/10 for me

4. Style is perfect ffor that comic, i wouldnt change it

Stefan G

Answer to Q2 => at the moment my favourite character is the Economist. He’s a genuine IYI [intellectual-yet-idiot] ... which the world is full of and the finance industry in particular. The Economist is easy to write for because I’ve discovered a never ending source of humorous material called the daily financial newspaper ... please find attached also one of my favourite strips

Thank you, lomcia (princess_lom) for your feedback.

lomcia (princess_lom)

your welcome I hope i didnt misunderstood question 3 xD

Stefan G

I think you got everything just right

lomcia (princess_lom)

cool

Stefan G

Answer/comment to Q3 => I’ve spend my professional life in finance, hence, I know every nuance of the industry. However, for the layperson the finance industry [money, banking, insurance, etcetc...] is a big black box of unnecessary complication. My humble attempt with #Offshorecomic is to untangle this complexity and make money related topics more accessible/understandable to anyone ... using humour as my main tool. Finance is more stupid than you think; trust me

I’ll answer the rest tomorrow. Gotta go to now. is like in a totally different time zone and all that Thx again y’all !

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Which joke not related to finance did you enjoy the most? What about it made it stand out to you among all the others?

RebelVampire

1) i really enjoyed the life coaching strip about facing reality and lying to yourself. i just really enjoy the bluntness and simplicity by which the self-deception line is delivered. A+ comedy right. 2) i like p-bird because i consider him a much needed counter balance to many of the other characters. he at least has more feet planted in reality. 3) hedge funds. not that i understand them perfectly from the comic, but now theyre more than just a financial word i see tossed around. and despite the very negative absurdist humor regarding them, was still interesting to get some insight into what they actually involved. 4) i think the style overall really balances well with the comedy. a lot of the comedy is reliant on the dialogue, so keeping the illustrations clean, bold, and somewhat simple really helps direct attention to the words. i also really just enjoy the character designs cause every single one really hits that idiot or absurdist mark that needs to be hit. 5) actually i really liked the address of IQ scores. because literally these characters seem like the type whod wind up on r/iamverysmart and use their IQs to talk about how cool they are. so it was kind of nice to see some evidence for that with the subject. that and i always like seeing the concept of IQ being torn apart. 6) i actually liked a lot of the jokes that pertained to the academic sphere in regards to things like publishing and teaching. selfishly it most just stood out to me because academia is something im more familiar with in regards to its simultaneous setup of worthless class structures and cutthroat profs trying to further their careers.

Stefan G

Thank you, RebelVampire, for your thoughtful analysis & feedback I believe that the writing is the most important part in comics ... and the best humorous writing is often blunt & simple [you hit the nail on the head with that comment]. Furthermore, I intentionally designed the strip in a simplistic style in order to A) highlight the writing/gag, B) to save time and C) cuz simple drawings are funny I love to make fun of pompous, self righteous folks ... academics are thus some of my main targets [due to the same reasons I make fun of financial professionals].

Stefan G

Answer to Q4 => My childhood inspiration and spark for cartoons/drawing came from F.Ibanez [Clever & Smart] ... very funny yet simple style. Nowadays I enjoy Dilbert by Scott Adams or the political cartoons from cartoonist Jari Elsilä; also both of them are hilarious without wasting unnecessary lines. I believe a straightforward style highlights the writing and that’s what I’m trying to achieve. Moreover, I love to have backgrounds in my comics [to steer the reader to a particular thought or mood] but hate to draw them and/or dislike it when they clutter the cartoon ... I’m rather happy with a style that I’ve developed over time where I draw the background but reduce the opacity to 25 %. I think that works pretty nice

Stefan G

Answer to Q5 => My favourite themes are 1) anyone predicting the future, 2) mistaking luck for awesome skill and 3) incompetent yet pompous professionals ... there is so much hilarious material right there

Answer to Q6 => I often use the characters Reto und Urs for jokes/strips that are not necessarily financial because they are so endearingly stupid [well, mostly Urs is]. This one makes me chuckle

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. In what ways have any of the strips changed the way you think about life, finances, or any other topic covered in them? Alternatively, what have the strips portrayed that you wish more people knew?

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Poco Adventures is now available https://comicteaparty.com/post/182650076295/january-28th-february-3rd-2019-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. Of all the parodies and jabs at financial markets and life, which do you consider the most on the nose as far as its representation in the comic goes?

RebelVampire

7) the strips have made me realize in a way that this is another industry where basically theres lots of ridiculous junk going on in the background cause you can never remove human faults completely. cause when it comes to finance theres lots of advanced vocabulary and concepts being thrown around usually, so for someone untrained it can sound intimidating and hard to follow. i think these strips do a great job of humanizing things tho and showing that the concepts arent all that alien cause at the end they were created by humans and reflect the desires of humans in a way. 8) one of my faves that i think is totally on the nose is this one where the economist is telling p-bird about ppl on twitter debating him being ignorant. and that his facts and stuff will prevail but p-bird points out that wouldnt even work on the economist. and the economist goes home confused. i think this is way too true for what its like to argue on the internet and how facts and logic get infinitely buried for the sake of narrative.

Stefan G

Excellent analysis/comments, RebelVampire really constructive. The human element is everywhere and money is such an emotionally laden topic that it’s easy to get confused even without the unnecessary complicated vocabulary ...which is often misused even by so-called “professionals”. If my strip has helped you understand all of that and un-demonised the beast, you’ve made me a very happy man Yeah, the Twitter-Fact-Confusion strip is one of my more relatable strips ... I’ve given up on trying to change people’s minds with facts; if changing minds is possible, it can only be achieved through via emotions. It sounds more logical the other way around but that’s not how we work. Here’s a special academically oriented strip just for you, RebelVampire Enjoy

snuffysam

haven't been able to get all the way through the archive yet, but my answer to both #2 and #8 is the Regional Manager. I love all the characters, but there's something to be said for the simplicity of having a guy literally run around headless.

Stefan G

Thanks , snuffysam. I almost forgot about the regional manager. I have to bring him back to life; I also like him ... by the way, there are 308 strips in total.

Answer to Q7 => I can’t claim that any one strip has changed the way I think about life and/or other things ... however, I do believe that writing & drawing Offshore strips has reinforced in me some of the main ideas from my favourite author, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, who’s books have influenced me deeply [e.g. Black Swan, Antifragile, etc etc] ... luck versus skill, thinking about risk and stuff like that. I regularly come back to his books for inspiration and recommend his books & Twitter -feed. Here are two strips that highlight my point ...sort of

Answer to Q8 => wow tough question ... with 99 % of my strips I genuinely try to convey some message about basic human quirks and/or outright stupidities that actually take place on a regular basis when handling money + and then I add my own personal humours twist to it. Here are a few strips with the message never to buy something you don’t understand [a hint: they always have complicated names]...

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What other finance related topics are you hoping to see the comic explore? Which characters are you hoping to see involved with the topic?

Stefan G

Answer to Q9 => As the creator of the strip I’m obviously biased to answer this question, but I’d love to hear what the new readers have to say. I don’t have a particular preference for any topic [except make fun of pompous forecasters ] ... but I feel myself wanting to write & draw more strips for the Markets-Weasel and Reto und Urs. And that’s surprisingly hard to do; forcing it doesn’t work [at least not for me] ... Offshore’s main characters were supposed to be Reto und Urs and somehow P-Bird and the Economist and the trader stole the show. I guess that happens when you get to know your characters better. Funny how that happens ... here’s one nostalgic strip from my early work that I really enjoy

Stefan G

Addition to Q9 => ... I’ve steadily build up an audience on Twitter [@NonMeek] which consist mainly of likeminded financial and/or other professionals ...hence, hearing the viewpoints from anyone outside that sphere would be awesome

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) idk about specific topics, but id like to see the CEO who i think appeared in like one strip. I'm really interested to see the CEO dynamic with the other characters in terms of finance. learn how they view what theyre doing, how they view what the others are doing, etc. but im all for bringing the regional manager back too cause i enjoyed that character as well. a lot of great humor picking fun at how some managerial positions are kind of ridiculous to even exist to a degree. 10) learning more, mostly. overall its nice to see a harder to cover topic in comics. ive enjoyed how approachable and humanized the strips make finances, and how they remind you that professionals can be like this and actually have no clue what theyre doing. @Stefan G that academic oriented strip you shared was actually one of my faves. not necessarily in college, but i see this a lot in the blogosphere where ppl do a thing once and try to pass themselves as qualified experts to deliver advice. XD

Stefan G

@RebelVampire Thanks again for your opinions. Those really help with the development of the strip ... finance is a hard topic indeed and there are no really finance oriented strips out there [that I know of anyway], which is funny cuz the industry is filled with emotions and mind blowing mental errors. I guess people still believe finance & investing is some sort of scientific discipline which it’s really not ... there are hardly any black & white answers to anything even though there’s lots and lots of historical data ... it’s time to fix that myth with Offshore I’m glad you enjoyed that academic strip. It resonated rather well on Twitter too

@RebelVampire [adding to my previous answer] ... I agree that the managers need to be reanimated and given another chance. I’ll try to do that and see how they resonate. I never know beforehand which characters will work and which will fizzle out; e.g. der Compliance Offizier is one of my favourite characters, yet, resonates weakly outside the banking circles ‍♂️ [I love the strip below ].

keii4ii

I would like to see more strips that cracks jokes about this very specific context of finances! Things like that strip about funds blowing up on day 252. I think that gives this comic its own flavor. Readers get to laugh about not just any kind of incompetent people, but incompetent people in this specific field. Readers with no background in finances don't know the context, so more strips that shed light on the context of the jokes would be great.

Stefan G

@keii4ii All valid and excellent points ... I genuinely try to write & design my cartoons in such a way that the joke is understandable even though you don’t know the context. It’s a hard thing to do ... my wife is my toughest critic and she tells me the same as you ... but keep following Offshore and I promise to come up with more stuff like that 252 strip

Answer to Q10 => My ambition with Offshore is to 1) amuse myself first and see if anyone shares my sense of humour [if a cartoon doesn’t amuse me, I don’t publish it]. It’s a splendid way of letting out some frustration from work ... and 2) to make investing & finance more approachable to the layperson by infusing some humour into it in the form of cartoons ... which by the way nobody thought of doing on a serious basis. Weird. However, to produce material on a semi-regular basis I figured that writing only gags/jokes is too much work and/or too shallow of an approach, hence, the characters in the strip need to be interesting/relatable enough in order to create humorous material by mere interaction with each other. That’s easier said than done. I’m quite satisfied with my characters so far but am continuously looking for new interesting characters to add to the strip [either permanently or impermanently]. Like Scott Adams once told me: “The trick with comics is to reflect the reader's own experience. To allow people to say, "That's me!" I’ll conclude with this sneak peek strip [only for you guys] that should relate to the experience of anybody working in a big corporation.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Offshore Comic this week! Please also give a special thank you to Stefan Gasic for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Offshore Comic, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.offshorecomic.com/

Stefan’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/NonMeek

[brentsotherblog]

Top 15 Films of 2016

Hey, I’m still doing this!

Living in Chicago (and working at a job with flexibility for occasional film streaming) means better access to films, and I saw 63 of the films released last year (er, if “released last year” is loosely defined). As always, this is a list of my favorite films—the ones I connected with most or couldn’t stop thinking about. I’m stretching to 15 films this year, because I couldn’t narrow it any further, and because does anyone read this?

Different year, same disclaimer: We all have different standards and tolerance for material, so if you’re wary of certain kinds of content, I’d recommend perusing reviews or ratings before trusting my recommendations.

(I really struggled to narrow this down! #22 is La La Land, #21 is Paterson, #20 is One More Time with Feeling, #19 is Kubo and the Two Strings, #18 is The Handmaiden, #17 is The Lobster, and #16 is Cemetery of Splendor.)

15. Swiss Army Man

I had to watch this twice to make sure it deserved a spot on my list—was there really as much heartfelt sweetness as I initially perceived?—but I can confirm that if you don’t mind more than a handful (an island-full, more accurately) of fart jokes and boner jokes, Swiss Army Man offers a heartfeltly sweet story about friendship and what happens when our intricately constructed inner worlds are exposed for the world to see.

14. Loving

This is the film that 2015’s Freeheld wanted to be: Poignant, gentle, and lovely, Loving seems mostly unconcerned with reminding you that it’s a film about a major social issue or a major Supreme Court case. Instead, it’s a film about a couple whose connection to a major social issue finds them at the center of a major Supreme Court case, but most of that exists in the background: Watch Mildred and Richard tend to each other, take care of each other, be husband and wife to each other.

13. Captain Fantastic

Wickedly funny and concerned with two of my favorite themes (i.e., whether those who withdraw from society might actually be better off, and a la #15, what happens when our private worlds are publicly exposed), Captain Fantastic was unlike anything else I saw this year. This is the opposite of a movie that doesn’t know what it thinks about its protagonist and his decisions—it cares deeply for Ben Cash (a nuanced performance from Viggo Mortensen) and his family and presents them as complex humans worthy of our time and consideration.

12. Manchester by the Sea

Okay, it bummed me out that so much of the discussion about this movie focused on how sad it was, as if it were created merely to win sad-movie Oscars: It is a profoundly sad story, but it’s also bleakly funny and boldly straightforward, a sort of workman’s examination of grief less concerned with pompous soliloquies than with the sort of humdrum triggers and decisions that grief is actually made of, like: When is it warm enough to bury a body in Massachusetts?

11. OJ: Made in America

The documentary that finally scratched my Serial-shaped itch! OJ: Made in America earns its nearly 8-hour runtime by showing exactly how Simpson’s trial captured so many contemporary dynamics in American culture: race, policing, celebrity, sports, marriage, abuse, economics, etc., etc. It says a lot that I was hooked 30 minutes in, at which point the film is still mostly only talking about Simpson’s football career.

10. Moana

I saw Moana with my family over Christmas, and there was a specific moment about two-thirds of the way in when I stopped thinking, “This is a beautiful film, and I’m so glad my niece and nephews are getting to see such a great female hero,” and realized, “No, forget the kids, forget progressive politics—Moana is a badass character, and this is a genuinely entertaining and movie story.” I could write pages about this film, from its wonderful subversion of kids’ movie tropes to its rich theological themes to its beautiful visual style, but I’m too busy crying at the part where the ocean gives Te Fiti’s heart to Moana.

9. Sing Street

Sing Street has all the elements of a coming-of-age classic (breakout performances from two young leads, a self-aware sense of humor, moments of surprising darkness, and an ambitious ending that reaches for the mythic) and ties them together in a toe-tapping, catchy package. What elevates Sing Street is its subtle forays into the imaginary, like the slow pan around the room as the band assembles for “Up” and the heartbreaking fantasy of “Drive It Like You Stole It.” If nothing else (and there’s so much else!), this film gave us the sublime “Riddle of the Model.”

8. Hidden Figures

Listen, the worst thing I can say about this film is that it’s somewhat low-hanging, feel-good fruit; but if you want to feel good after watching a movie, you could do much, much worse than a story about the unsung black women heroes of NASA in the 1960s featuring perfect performances, deft pacing, and dialogue that sizzles. The film subversively suggests that one of the worst dangers of systemic injustice (among many) is its sheer mathematical inefficiency, and the subplot about Katherine’s difficulty finding a bathroom for (so-called) colored women is one of the best portrayals of the slowly exhausting burdens of invisible (to some) discrimination I’ve seen.

7. Krisha

Imagine a horror movie where the villain is the anxiety induced by large family gatherings, or maybe the demons that accompany you to those gatherings. Though I usually look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas with my own relatives, Krisha was the kind of film that grabbed me by the shoulders and wouldn’t let me exhale till the credits rolled. The unfamiliar cast (composed of mostly real-life friends and family) and house setting help this film feel like a small peek into the dynamics of a real family system. How is this Krisha Fairchild’s first prominent role (at least in a long time), and when can I see her on screen next?

6. The Fits

This year’s “I don’t know exactly what to say about it except that it’s doing something brilliant, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it” entry! The Fits is undoubtedly up to some interesting things in terms of gender and social pressure, but this film spoke to me primarily on a visceral-aesthetic level, due primarily to Royalty Hightower’s commanding, stoic (and, undoubtedly, career-launching) physical performance as a young boxer-turned-dancer.

5. I Am Not Your Negro

In a year that gave us more than a handful of compelling, tightly-constructed documentaries about various issues concerning race in the United States (including #11), I Am Not Your Negro had the greatest effect on me. The film’s clever, gut-wrenching juxtaposition of protest and police footage (What year was that clip from, again?) and pop culture history is elevated a few steps by searing narration from James Baldwin’s typewriter and a smart, poignant structure highlighting the deaths of three Civil Rights Movement giants.

4. The Witch

I only watch horror films if they get buzz like The Witch got, and the buzz did not mislead me: This is a gorgeous, haunting, disturbing film, one that meticulously crafts a self-contained world as a means of isolating us in that world with its isolated protagonists. As a result, the dangers menacing the family—from the surrounding forest, but more pressingly from each person’s heart—feel truly menacing, and we may not know any better than the characters what they should fear most. Don’t let any critic tell you what the ending means; it’s much more fruitful to argue it out with fellow viewers. The second-best film on faith I saw this year.

3. Silence

Admittedly I was rooting for this film out of the gate as a huge fan of Endo’s novel, but I think the adaptation succeeds on many fronts: The brutally patient pace, the fully-realized (and stunning) recreation of 17th-century Japan, and the sheer power of every interaction between Neeson’s Ferreira and Garfield’s Rodrigues. It was a growing frustration of mine to see how poorly (and inevitably) Silence performed at the box office compared to 2016’s God is Not Dead 2; suffice it to say that I consider the former film a much more compelling exploration of the question of God’s absence. (It’s rare that a film adaptation of a character so matches my imagination that I actually recognize the character, but thus was the case with Kubozuka’s snivelling, tormented portrayal of Kichijiro.)

2. Arrival

I loved this film for a few reasons. It’s absolutely the most gripping experience I had in a theater all year, with each of the film’s high-stakes revelations unfurling slowly and organically with a pleasantly slow burn. It’s a perfect marriage of form and function, in terms of how the story plays with familiar tropes (including cinematic depictions of grief) to foreshadow and surprise us. It’s firing on all cylinders, including a powerhouse performance from Amy Adams, an unforgettable score, and breathtaking, expansive cinematography, to deliver a story that’s equally satisfying as both an alien encounter film and a personal family drama. More than anything, though—and I shouldn’t spoil too much here—it’s a wholly imaginative exploration of the age-old question of whether you’d live your life differently, if you had the chance. The last ten minutes of dialogue are nearly perfect.

1. Moonlight

I knew this would be my favorite film of the year about 10 minutes in. It’s become cliched to call the film “empathetic,” but it’s true that I can’t remember a story so concerned with letting its characters speak on their own terms as Moonlight is. Each performance is masterful: See if you can count how many times Juan (Mahershala Ali) or Paula (Naomie Harris) shifts between vulnerable and withdrawn (”soft” and “hard,” in the language of the film) in any given scene, or all the near-imperceptible ways Kevin and Chiron admit to themselves and signal to each other what they hope will happen. My second viewing revealed many of the film’s brilliant structural touches, like the way each act ends with the moment that effectively concludes each chapter of Chiron’s development, or the subtle visual motifs that tie his life together; notice, for example, the way Kevin heating up water on the stove to make Chrion tea recalls young Chiron heating water for his bath, or the colors of the shirts the two leads wear in the final scene. What else? The film contains both my favorite line (”I cry so much sometimes I think one day I’m gon’ just turn into drops.”) and my favorite scene (the transcendent baptism-via-swimming-lesson sequence) of the year, and I haven’t talked to anyone who was unaffected by it. Moonlight is a timeless masterpiece and my favorite film of 2016.

[zachsmothership-blog]

Filmmakers - Listen to your Elders

One of the biggest bummers about current Hollywood films for me is the lack of meaningful and interesting shot composition. It seems anymore that most films just resort to close up handheld shots and it's getting visually boring. This past semester for the first time I was subjected to studying the films of John Ford. A lot of people in todays time just write John Ford off because the Western by in large is a dated genre that doesn't appeal to them, but for us filmmakers it's important to note that John Ford is in many ways one of the, if not the greatest, American directors of all time. For that reason I've decided to upload the recent essay I wrote over him analyzing his style in depth so that todays filmmakers can be more aware of the creative ways they can compose shots.

John Ford: Scientist of the Wild West

John Ford makes films like he’s boiled filmmaking down to a science. That may not sound like an outlandish statement considering Ford directed over 100 films, but Ford’s scientifically precise filmmaking doesn’t just come from experience, it’s his style. For some reason Ford is often overlooked in modern conversations about auteurism even though he has so much to offer in the way of auteuristic style. It’s probably because most people think that his precisely executed character driven shot composition is just the “invisible style” common in the classic Hollywood film era, something that couldn’t be further from the truth. Film critic Tag Gallagher describes John Ford’s style saying “it’s more like the 18th century portrait in oil, a cameo, a vignette, overloaded with detail” (Gallagher). He even goes on to conclude that “Ford is the best director in the history of motion pictures because his placement of the camera always made even good dialogue unnecessary or secondary.” (Gallagher) Ford no doubt has an intricate style, and by expounding upon it through the analysis of some of his best films it will become clear how he uses shot composition to thoroughly support his character development.

When discussing John Ford’s style the word “precise” gets thrown around a lot, but what exactly is it about his style that expresses such precision? He has a natural, quick, and in depth way he portrays his characters. Ford floods the screen with so much information about his characters that he can develop them quickly and more in depth without ever confusing the audience (Gallagher). Part of that is simply his ability to stage and direct actors, but far more pertinent to the precision his films exhibit is the shot composition he uses to accentuate his character development. Take the beginning scene in Stagecoach when Lucy Mallory first arrives in Tonto, for instance. In this scene Lucy is on her way into a hotel to get something to drink when she’s intercepted by a couple of her friends.

Ford uses a wider shot and cleverly places Lucy here with her back to Hatfield so that he can characterize both of them at once. Then, as Gallagher describes, he uses just a mere series of glances exchanged to show the audience just exactly who these characters are (Gallagher). The silent contemplation Hatfield shows in this shot goes a long way to characterize him as a mysterious man, and that is only affirmed when Lucy finally turns around and he silently greets her as she walks by. By capturing that and Lucy’s pompous reaction to his otherwise friendly gesture in the same shot, Ford decidedly characterizes both of them in a very short amount of time. He then continues on that note as Lucy and her friends go inside to sit down and gossip about Hatfield.

Here he again develops Lucy through the dialogue she has with her friends, and adds another layer of mystery to Hatfield by having him stare longingly through the window. By composing shots with multiple characters in them Ford not only develops characters faster, but with the added screen time can explore them in more depth. Ford’s precise style stems primarily from this type of shot composition, but it’s not the only trick he has up his sleeve.

           Ford does not just limit himself to using characters to develop each other within the same frame. Instead, as Gallagher suggests, Ford often uses character’s reactions to develop other characters before the audience even knows what they are reacting to (Gallagher). In its simplest form this can be seen in My Darling Clementine when Doc Holliday is first introduced.

At this point the audience already knows that the man to the left is some greedy upper class citizen, and that Wyatt Earp is, for the lack of a better term, a bad ass. So when the greedy townsman stops shoveling in his chips abruptly and Wyatt diverts his attention across the room, the audience knows what they’re staring at is cause for concern. When the next shot reveals that what caused these reactions was in fact Doc Holliday, Ford immediately establishes Doc as this strange, dangerous man. He informs the audience on how to feel about Doc before even showing him on screen by showing how other characters feel about him first. Ford uses this precise technique to cut a lot of fat out of his character development; however this method is comparatively shallow in relation to the other methods he is known to use.

Close-up shots have always been a way for filmmakers to command audience attention and focus it on elements of the film that they deem important. Today most modern Hollywood films are shot primarily with close-ups, which is something that almost completely devalues the original point of using close-up shots all together. This fact is something Ford is noticeably aware of, as the first real close-up in Stagecoach doesn’t even come up until the corrupt banker Gatewood is introduced around the six minute mark.

Ford starts the scene off with this three shot, which allows the audience to get somewhat of an idea about who Gatewood is through the way he interacts with these men. Gatewood seems poised and professional, assuring them that “what’s good for the banks is good for the country.” Although seconds later when the other men leave and Ford goes in for a close-up, the audience is finally allowed to see past Gatewood’s facade and get a true look at his character.

This one close-up stands out as an emphatic point of characterization, and focuses the audience in on the bad intentions written all over Gatewood’s face. Ford knows that by only using close-ups in choice times like this, the close-ups become a way for him to cue the audience in on more important character developing moments. John Ford uses close-up shots to develop his characters in deeper ways than just that though, something that again is clearly evident in My Darling Clementine when Doc Holliday is first introduced.

Doc is cold and emotionless in this scene, and at this point the audience hardly knows anything about him. He is one of Ford’s most cryptic characters, and part of the reason he feels so mystifying to the audience is because Ford chooses to introduce him here primarily with close-ups.

These close-ups draw increased attention to his character, but his cold demeanor doesn’t give the audience anything to grapple with. This subconsciously fosters feelings of unease for the audience and ultimately makes Doc seem that much more mysterious. Ford’s style seems so precise here because he does not just show audiences who his characters are, but makes them feel who they are, and in fact that’s a trend Ford follows with other aspects of shot composition as well.  

           If Ford uses close-ups sparingly then it’s safe to say he practically never moves the camera. He uses moving shots so infrequently that even one that was out of focus was powerful enough to launch John Wayne’s career (The Creation of John Wayne). Similar to his disciplined use of close-ups though, it is not just the frequency with which Ford implements moving shots that makes them so effective, but also how he utilizes them. Ford almost solely moves the camera only when the characters in the scene motivate him to do so.

Like this shot in Stagecoach when he tracks backwards with Dallas so he can follow her while the townspeople walk her out of town; or perhaps this scene from My Darling Clementine when he pans across the room so he can follow Chihuahua as she walks away from Doc Holliday.

Ford reserves the majority of the camera movement for moments like those, and in turn makes the few moments where there are not distinct reasons for camera movement much more impactful. This is evident in this scene in Stagecoach when Ringo and Dallas are at the dinner for instance.

Gallagher discusses the power of the camera movement in this shot explaining that “the way the camera moves in on Dallas makes us feel feelings even before we know their reason. In movies it’s feelings that produce ideas, and the camera movement makes us feel these feelings like a weight.” (Gallagher) Ford tracks in on Dallas here to make the audience feel the humiliation she feels in this moment, and with that simple movement emphasizes this key beat for her character. Similar to the way Alfred Hitchcock played inside his viewer’s subconscious to create suspense, Ford has mastered a way to do the same in relation to the development of his characters. So much of his style operates outside of the movie itself and that is ultimately what makes his style feel so precise.

           When expounding upon John Ford’s style through Stagecoach and My Darling Clementine it is clear that Ford’s character development is seeded deep within his shot compositions. He uses techniques like composing shots with multiple characters, introducing characters with reactions, close-ups, and camera movement to focus audience attention on pertinent character moments and deepen the development of those characters. John Ford’s films feel so precise because unlike a majority of other films he specifically picks the simplest shot compositions that succinctly inform the audience on the characters he’s engaging with at any given time. Without a doubt this ability to compose interesting character focused shots makes Ford one of the most legendary directors of all time. Ford is a wild western scientist creating tight and thoughtfully composed cinema for the masses, and these are his formulas.

Works Cited

Gallagher, Tag. "Dreaming of Jeannie: Tag Gallagher on Stagecoach." Vimeo. Web. 25 Apr. 2016.

Stagecoach. Dir. John Ford. Perf. John Wayne. Released by United Artists, 1939. DVD.

My Darling Clementine. Dir. John Ford. Perf. Henry Fonda. Twentieth Century-Fox, 1946. DVD.

The Creation of John Wayne. Dir. John Cork. Criterion Collection, 2008. DVD.