#the beetle in this one makes me laugh he seems to have a ''wtf'' expression

[joleneghoul]

Now Waverider too, companion piece to Macromia.

[effervescentslut]

how you meet | fred and george weasley

Requested: Yes

Content Warnings: None tbh... well, a lot of Ron degradation dslnfjfgnkjsfnskdjdnkjsf all jokes, though... 

A/N: Woop woop we’re diving into the Harry Potter universe!! Sorry this took a bit to put together, I’ve been in a slump recently. I hope you enjoy! Friendly reminder that requests are open!!

Gryffindor!Reader

you became friends with ron in first year after he accidentally walked in on you changing into your robes on the train fkjcnxnjasndkjwefenkwrj

“blimey, i’m so sorry--”

you wanted to die tbh

but his quirkiness charmed you so you stuck with him for the rest of the train ride

even though his nose was dirty HA

you were tired of boarding with isobel macdougal, she was a nutcase

after following ron back to his compartment, you were acquainted with harry

they were pretty chill; apparently harry was some wizzy legend but you could not care less

you wanted to get off the mf hogwarts express™ your motion sickness was going berserk

ron seemed comfortable with the idea of attending hogwarts; he rambled about his older brothers nonstop who also went to school there

meanwhile you and harry were nervously looking at each other like

later that evening you get sorted into gryffindor ayyyy RAWR!!!!!

you met hermione after you both reached for the yorkshire pudding at the feast and she snatched her hand away from yours and blushed bc she accidentally touched you swenkdqknanjadnjwejfknw LMFAO POOR SHY GIRL

fred and george made a point to introduce themselves to ron’s new buds, much to his dismay, before everyone split off at the gryffindor tower

settling into school was pretty easy

you already had a great group of mates to hang around, they brought out the best in you

one day you’re walking to potions class with ron, harry, and hermione

you’re about to take a test hhhhhhhhhh nothing is more intimidating than being a gryffindor in the same room as professor snape

ron has been anxiously complaining about it to you guys and his brothers for weeks

“merlin, y/n, how am i supposed to know that eel eyes and frog eyes make the bulgeye potion? we’re only first years!”

hermione butts in, “actually ron, it’s eel eyes and beetle eyes--”

“shut it, hermione!” 

the twins™ pop in, making sure they catch ron before his impending doom

“maybe you should listen to her ron”

“yeah ron, you wouldn’t want mum to find out you failed your first potions test--”

“--when the potion only has two ingredients!”

ron’s cheeks and ears are flaming red ohhhh boy

fred and george turn around

“good luck to you, harry” *they shake his hands*

“good luck to you, y/n” *they shake your hands*

“good luck to you, herm-- ah, who are we kidding, she doesn’t need luck”

they turn back to ron

“good luck you especially, ronald”

“yeah, your life depends on it!”

they ruffle his hair and run off

you giggle at them and ron is  f u m i n g

you watch them scamper away and fondly admire them :’)

ron straightens his hair and says, “that was bloody embarrassing” 

“to be fair, what they said was true, ron” you reluctantly chime in

“oh, shove off, y/n”

... ron ended up flunking the test

after potions the next day, fred and george are RELENTLESS at dinner

you know those people who say virtually anything and you laugh like it’s the funniest thing to have ever been spoken? it’s me, i’m y/n. gemini tingzzzz

to you, that’s fred and george

they immediately learn this when you’re trying your damndest to not choke on your lamb chops while laughing

... and simultaneously trying to not laugh at ron because he’s your friend

but boy are his brothers funny

the twins feed off of your reactions and continue to brutally torment their younger brother

to the point where you ACTUALLY choke on your food and have to excuse yourself to the bathroom, still coughing and wheezing during your laughing fit

harry tries to not laugh with (and at) you

hermione is like.... uhh wtf just happened can i eat my treacle tarts in peace please??

ron is clearly annoyed by the entire situation

fred and george are smirking and ease up on their teasing because your reaction was better than anything ron could have mustered up

after that night, fred and george’s sole purpose for teasing ron around you was to gauge your reaction

scratch that

any time you were with the twins, they just HAD to get you to laugh at least once

ron was getting  f e d  u p

“honestly, y/n, they’re not even that funny!”

you roll your eyes

every time you were with ron you secretly hoped fred and george would show up xcndjksdnjkewnrwkjfna

the twins never teased you though bc they have a soft spot for you

cheering for harry, fred, and george at gryffindor quidditch matches!!

siding with the twins when they argue with ron about quidditch stuff

soon you become actual friends with fred and george

meeting a bunch of their friends from their year so now you have a bunch of upperclassmen mates i was the same exact way i would just be a groupie among my older peers hahahah

they’d help you pass cheat in any class you’re in

you’re their biggest supporter

just say the word and they’d do ANYTHING for their new “adoptive” sister

“maybe we should swap you out for y/n, ron”

percy knows to keep away from you because he’s afraid the twins are tainting you dncwdjkfnkwjefnkjew but he still keeps an eye out, ya know?

molly CAN NOT wait to meet you

she sends you an owl one day and makes you promise to keep fred and george in line... oh, and ron too LMFAOO

Non-Gryffindor!Reader

let’s face it

gryffindor or not...

no matter what year you’re in...

everyone knows who fred and george weasley are

you’re the same year as the weasley twins and they had already built up quite a reputation for themselves...

AS SECOND-YEARS!!

there had been so much gossip about these prankster twins floating through the corridors the past two years

even the professors had begun to complain LMAO

“those weasley boys are nothing like percy!”

“poor minerva must have her hands full with those rambunctious twins!!”

and sure, you’d had the occasional inter-house class with them, but hardly ever interacted with them

to be fair, they are a bit overwhelming to be around

anyways

it was quidditch season!!

and you hade made the chaser position for your house’s team!

so one day your team is playing against another (non-gryffindor) team

and like... you’re good

BLOODY GOOD

you score quite a couple goals and the seeker even catches the snitch! (as if you needed the snitch to win the game liiiiike you really carried your team)

fred and george are supporting your team because 1. they know good quidditch when they see it and 2. you’re definitely the mvp

the unspoken mvp of your team

and they’re scared for gryffindor’s match against your house fkjsfnkjrnrkfw

because they’re beaters

and the opposing team’s beaters were allegedly good uh oh

how tf are they gonna juke you out??

anyways

after the match you’re celebrating with your team

you bid them goodbye and head back to your common room so you can finish your paper for history of magic

when a pair of identical, red-haired, gryffindor boys take you by surprise and pop up out of nowhere

your grip on your quidditch bag slips and you drop your bag

you sigh, “can i help you?”

“brilliant work out there today!”

“sorry about your bag”

george hands you your duffel

your eyes narrow as you grab it, your focus flitting to fred and then george

“listen, binns is gonna have your heads if you don’t write two separate papers this time--” 

“we don’t want to talk to you about class right now...”

“...we’re here to beg for your mercy on us when you play gryffindor in a few months”

you snort and push past them, “if you two stop pestering me in fourth hour, then i’ll consider it”

you spin around on your heels, “and i have a name, you know!!”

“we know your name, y/n!” 

“we know who EVERYONE is!”

“go write your papers!!”

[skarletterambles]

Mummy re-(re-re-re-)watch blog

Because sometimes self-care is rewatching your favorite movie for the first time in many years, I’m currently enjoying The Mummy (1999) on a nice big flat screen TV and eating pizza.  Life is good.

Random thoughts typed while watching (so expect typos) below...

[Disclaimers:  Obviously, this post contains massive spoilers for a 20-year-old movie, if anyone actually needs to be told that.  There are spoilers for The Mummy Returns, as well.  Also, I’m an unapologetic Imhotep fangirl so don’t expect me to talk about him like he’s some kind of villain.  That’s just silly!  Ahem.  I have the hots for Rick and Ardeth, too, though, so the drool will be spread out a bit.]

..............................

Imhotep’s priests really got the raw end of the deal.  They were just there to watch the door and make sure nobody interrupted their boss’ booty call, and they ended up witnessing regicide and then getting mummified alive.  Dang.

I bet the noise of the battle with all those horses and guns above him irritated Imhotep.  No wonder he sent sand jets up to scare away Rick and the others.  Damn kids, get off my lawn--er, necropolis!

Honestly, the havoc Evy wreaked on her library only made it look slightly worse than my workplace this summer.  :p  At least she didn’t have to worry about DVD shelving...  [Only I get this reference, but trust me, to me it’s hilarious, in a “if I don’t laugh I’ll cry” kind of way.]

Rick is damn good-looking when he’s all bedraggled and beat up, and even better looking when he cleans up.  The look on Evy’s face when she sees him after a haircut and a change of clothes, well... Same, girl.  Same.

Beni is one of my favorite comic relief characters of all time.

The Med-Jai wouldn’t have threatened Evy on the boat if they knew she was the reincarnation of their long-dead boss’ daughter.  I’m picturing Seti in the afterlife facepalming...

I had forgotten how hostile and scary the Med-Jai were at first.

It’s amazing how much of the dialogue comes back to me, though.  Even throwaway background lines like Jonathan complaining about the price of the camels.

Evy’s sheer joy over everything camel-related is so freaking adorable.

That first chitter of scarab beetles...my least favorite part of the movie.  Heh.

I can just imagine Imhotep in his sarcophagus, feeling the first hint of movement around him in over 3,000 years, and then freaking out as his sarcophagus falls through the ceiling and goes THUMP on the ground.  And then there’s screaming and everyone leaves.  He’d be like, WTF?

“He must have been someone of great importance...or someone who did something very naughty.”  Both correct, Evy...

It’s so not fair that Ardeth can be that drop-dead sexy-looking and have such a sexy voice.

And here’s that “I...AM A LIBRARIAN!” line that everyone in my line of work loves so much.  Heehee...

Mummy:  *bursts out of sarcophagus* Evy:  “Gah, I hate it when these things do that!” LMAO

Of course Imhotep scratched “Death is only the beginning” into the inside of his sarcophagus lid like a bored emo kid in study hall.

“If you dry that fella out you might be able to sell ‘im for firewood!”  As I’m sure the writers knew, they actually did burn mummies to fuel trains back in less enlightened times.  And grind them up for medicine and paint and all kinds of stupid, disrespectful things.

I love how they refer to Imhotep as “our friend” and “our guy” when they’re discussing how horrible his curse was.  That sympathy fades quickly enough once they meet him, though.

“Probably got a little too frisky with the Pharaoh’s daughter.”  No, Rick, that’s you.  Bwahahahaha!

“No harm ever came from reading a book.”  Evy, you’re a librarian.  You should know better.

Poor Imhotep must have been so stiff after not moving for a few thousand years. I bet he had to do some stretches before he went looking for people to drain life force from.

Forecast for today:  mostly sunny with a 90% chance of locust plague.

Gotta love Imhotep’s one-track mind.  Woke up for the first time in 3k years, just regained sight and speech, and the first freaking thing he does is assume the first woman he sees is Anck-su-Namun.  Because of course he does.

I wonder if Ardeth got any backlash from the rest of the Med-Jai for giving the interlopers a chance to leave Hamunaptra.  If he had just slaughtered them all the previous night, none of this mess would have happened.

“He will never eat.  He will never sleep.  He will never stop.”  Awwwwwyeah.

Because he looks so rotted, Imhotep looks threatening as he slowly advances on Beni, but if he was fully regenerated I bet his expression would have been confused and even slightly amused at Beni’s religious roulette, something along the lines of “WTF is this idiot doing?”

Imhotep, did you really need to wear a mask to meet a blind guy?  (I know, I know, he needed the disguise to get through the hotel, but it’s still funny.)

He was even polite enough to thank Evy for saving him from undeath.  What a nice mummy!

Med-Jai discussing Imhotep and Anck-su-Nam:  “Even after 3,000 years, he’s still in love with her.” Evy:  “Well, that’s all very romantic, but...” Me:  “Yes.  Yes it is.  Shut up.”

“You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn’t you, Beni?”  One of my all-time favorite lines, and one I randomly quoted to my late goldfish, Benny, many times over the years.  LOL

Couldn’t Beni have found some better clothes for Imhotep to wear?  Those ragged robes make him look like a beggar.  Although considering he was running around in nothing but a few wisps of rotten bandages before, they couldn’t afford to be choosy.

The casual way Imhotep chews that scarab beetle that crawled into his mouth is such a power move.  LMAO

The longing in his voice as he whispers Anck-su-Namun’s name almost makes up for the fact that he kissed Evy right afterward.  I know you’re impatient to get your girlfriend back, man, but control yourself.  :p

Another classic bit: Evy, trying to translate hieroglyphics:  “Patience is a virtue!” Rick, looking at incoming torch-bearing mob:  “Not right now it isn’t!”

The crowds chanting “Im-ho-tep” are so iconic, and the way they part to let him pass gives me shivers.

“It’s the creature!”  Thanks for the reminder, as he’s now fully regenerated and looking damn fine.

OMG that little smirk Imhotep gives to Rick as he turns to walk away with Evy...  Imhotep isn’t stupid.  He can see Rick’s in love with her.

Ardeth wearing that flight cap and goggles, grinning as he rides on the plane’s wing, is the funniest damn thing in the movie.  It’s such a departure from his usual demeanor, which is what makes it work so well from a comedic perspective.

Why did Imhotep stop the sand vortex so far from Hamunaptra?  He could have deposited himself, Beni, and Evy on the doorstep, but instead he stopped on the other end of the valley.  I mean, sure, it gives plenty of room for the famous sand wall attack scene, but it was still weird.

Evy:  “Stop it!  You’ll kill them!” Beni:  “That’s the idea.” Well...YEAH!

Beni to Imhotep:  “I loved the, uh, sand wall trick, it was beautiful.  Bastard.”  That’s funny enough, and then you remember that Imhotep doesn’t understand English, and it’s even funnier.  Stop trying to brown-nose a man who doesn’t speak your language, Beni!

The whole Winston subplot always seemed so pointless.  Just deus ex machina to get the airplane in there.  Honestly, that’s my only complaint about the movie.

Yeah, Imhotep, you had better bow back when your newly-risen priests bow to you.  You owe them big time after the shitstorm you dragged them into.

OMG Ardeth is even more gorgeous in the glow of gold artifacts.  Heehee...

And then some of Imhotep’s priests barely rise from the ground before being mowed down by machine gun fire.  Damn, they get the short end of the stick every time, don’t they?

One second I’m like, “Oh hai Anck.  You need to moisturize better, lawl,” and then the next Imhotep strokes her face with such tenderness and whispers her name and I’m like, “Awwwww!”  That’s what’s so much fun about these movies.  There’s the silly, campy fun intertwined with actually poignant, emotional moments, in perfect balance.

I just noticed that Anck-Su-Namun’s reaction to being resurrected both in the prologue and later as a mummy was the same gasp and fluttering of her hands over her collarbone.  Neat detail.

There’s this little glimmer of “Whoa, cool, I did that!” sometimes when Imhotep uses his powers.  It’s adorable.  (Yes, I just called an undead plague-bringer summoning mummified soldiers to kill his enemies “adorable.”  I warned you in the disclaimer.)

I love how Anck-su-Namun’s first response when waking up was to try to beat the crap out of Evelyn/Nefertiri.  Old habits die hard, y’know.  She was probably disappointed that her opponent didn’t remember the old ways of combat...yet.

I hate that poor Imhotep had to watch the love of his life be killed in silhouette twice.

And again he promises, “Death is only the beginning.”

Then it’s time for one last moment of Ardeth being hot beyond all reason, some Rick and Evy kisses, Jonathan getting a face full of camel breath, and a happy ending for at least those four characters.  ;)

The end...for now!