#the ball chapter can't come soon enough

[arrapso]

For best girl @doriana-gray-games c: , year 2

[lilacgaby]

‧₊˚truth bomb!‧₊˚

getting hit by a truth quirk? not so fun. dealing with it while having a huge crush on bakugo katsuki? even worse.

- ღpairing. 3rdyear!katsuki x reader. tags. friends to lovers, truth telling quirk, wingmen, kissing scenes, confessions, fighting, miscommunication trope, U-A girls love you, she/her pronoun use, fem!reader, earthquirk!reader. wc. 8k

- ღnote. i win the slowest writer ever award! anyways, i wrote this in chapter form here, this is a rework of my first work ever, and i completely changed the plot for anyone who might have read itt

this wasn't how your mission was supposed to go.

the thought ran through your head as you resisted the urge to bang your head against the concrete. that fate would probably be better than whatever you'd face having to confess, out of your will, to your longtime crush, katsuki.

but, the day started out normal enough. you were on a patrol, randomly scheduled as all your patrols usually were because of your mentor, mirko. she lacked the traditional agency and took missions as she pleased, which meant you'd usually be along for the ride.

which entailed things like this, walking boredly along the streets, running your fingers along metal pipes, trying to find something- anything to quench your eternal boredom.

it didn't work though.

you finally groaned, rolling your eyes as you looked at mirko, who seemed oddly determined. “we've been walking in this place for like– what? an hour? it's so boring!” you kicked a rock, making it clash against a random trash can.

“a deserted town is perfect, it's exactly what an up and coming villain group would want to start up. think before you speak for once.” she chided, not even looking over at you as she continued walking forth. “anyways, you should be able to feel it, can't you? they're close.”

sure enough, you could. the vibrations of their movement, the reverberation of their voices bouncing off the walls of the random alleyway of where you two stood felt as you focused your stance.

they were close. you sighed, though now of relief that you'd finally be able to beat them and get out of here as soon as you can, you stretched your hands and fingers, getting ready to manipulate the ground below you. “well then what are you waiting for? let's go!”

mirko nodded, and wordlessly followed you as you two positioned yourselves on a rooftop above the rowdy group of villains. they were laughing heartily, seemingly unaware and full of glee as they continued down the city streets. the sun was coming down, golden sunlight illuminating your figure as you closed your eyes and focused in on their positions, trusting your quirk more than your vision.

you stomped lightly and closed your eyes, feeling their positions out perfectly, as well as mirko’s readied stance beside you. nobody was around for miles, on the ground at least, so you focused in to hear their words.

mocking cries of innocent civilians left the mouth of the biggest one. “oh, please don't hurt me!” he cried, a fake squeaky voice cut off by his laughter. “oh man, what a pathetic excuse for a human.”

“fleeting the town completely in what? two days? we're the shit man.” another replied, high-fiving amongst themselves as they snickered and giggled.

they held bags of money and prized belongings in their grasps, smirks and sneers as they lugged them down the city. the one they seemed to think they ‘owned’ now that the civilians fled to safety. one that they were making a mess of.

you felt mirko’s figure, the growing hostility in her stance. the balling of her fist and her legs that were ready to pounce at any given moment.

“i'm all clear.” you whispered. “on your call, i'm ready.”

you could even feel the twitch of her ears, the wind blowing a spare leaf of the ground, but most importantly,

you felt the millisecond where she lowered to jump.

in response you launched the ground underneath you with a flick of the hand, landing yourself perfectly next to mirko. she held out a fist to the group, who jumped at the sight of you two.

“listen up losers!” she began, pointing a daunting finger at the biggest of the group, who had a literal screw growing out the base of his neck. a shiver went down your spine at the sight. “you can beg for forgiveness now, or later! which is it?”

a moment of silence passed, before one of them declared, “how about never? attack!”

half of the group focused on mirko, while the others were now facing you. you sighed, fixing yourself in a relaxed stance, before swiftly punching up to launch chucks of rock and steel out of the ground, into the bodies of the offending men coming towards you.

a few of them dodged, making you repeat the same attack again, since you really didn't feel like going full strength for villains at this level. your eyebrows furrowed as you realized one of them had taken the opportunity to make a break for it, but ignored it for now as the final guy stood against you.

mirko stole your spotlight though, landing a kick in his hand that rendered him unconscious.

“hey. i called dibs.” you whined, before walking over to her. “alls fair in love and war.” she said, before pointing to the almost comically large bags of money and jewelry. “we need to clean these up and get these guys locked up. round up the bags and i'll get the corpses– uh. bodies.”

with a reassuring smirk, she threw around the bodies into a pile, making you wince at the sound of their groans. you went to move all the money and things into an area for the collection agency.

you moved a bag or two, onto your third bag when a sound was suddenly heard behind you. “freeze.”

an unconfident, shaky, and out of breath voice filled your ears. you froze, not knowing who it was.

“n-now turn around. slowly.” he ordered. you did as he said, noting that his hand was pointing towards you in a handgun motion. the tips of his fingers were glowing a strange light green color. “o-okay. you’re gonna leave all the money there, just for me. okay lady?”

you shrugged, looking back at your work. “i mean, that was the plan anyways. a collection agency is gonna come for you and your friends soo–.”

“no, they're not.” he cut you off with a snarl. “i don't think i gave you permission to talk.”

“but you're still talking to me anyways!”

“why you– teenage brats are the worst. i tried not to kill kids, but you're annoying.” the green light emitted even brighter.

“bye.” the ray was about to shoot at you. you didn't have time to block, but mirko last minute shoved the guy to the ground.

his hand still managed a shot, though with his arm up in the air, it moved from being aimed to your heart, to..

shooting towards your mouth.

you didn't dodge in time, not expecting to get shot in your mouth of all places.

it didn't hurt, but it did feel tingly. the guy was slammed to the ground, his face flat with the floor as your hands shot up to feel the skin around your mouth.

you were.. fine?

“hey!” mirko cut off your thoughts. “you okay? what did he do to you? fuck i should've been quicker.”

“i'm fine. honestly you should have been quicker, i was really stalling here.”

“oh.. well im glad to hear you're fine at least.”

“you heard that??” you were shocked to hear her response, you only meant to say that mentally. you really were just going to say it was fine like always, so why..

why wasn't your mouth listening to you?

“no. like you don't understand mirko, i didn't mean to say that-”

“we all slip up sometimes.”

“no. like, it left my mouth before i realized it.”

her eyes widened, before thumping on the guys head below her. “hey you. what exactly did you do to her? huh?”

at no response, she wacked him against the ground again. “hellooo? i'll do it as many times as i need to-”

“no! please, fine fuck- i'll tell you!”

the collection agency finally was heard in the distance. mirko glared. “talk. fast.”

“okay, okay!” the man was once again shaking. “my quirk is enhancements, but I control how exactly it enhances the body–”

“i didn't ask for a life story. get to the point.”

“well! i wanted to aim for the heart and enhance heart rate, which would of killed her! but– um. i accident aimed for her mouth, and enhanced.. honesty.”

“i see. for how long will it be?”

“uh.. a week i think.”

“huh, why would you become a villain with a quirk like yours anyways? final question before you're shipped off to jail.”

“well, i wanted to bring out the best in the worst, to show that even we villains can triumph!”

“..okay.” she left him on the ground and walked away with you by her side. you were heading back to the U-A dorms to drop you off.

“so, you can't lie to me, huh?”

“nope.” your answer left you before you could process it, like a mental disconnection between your actions. “don't do that, it isn't funny!”

she raised her hands up defensively. “okay, okay. i won't.”

…

“so am i your favorite hero or what?”

“yes.”

“really? since when?” she chided.

“since your debut, i was a hardcore fan for a long time.”

“was?”

“learning the real you killed the rose-tint in my glasses.”

“oh..” she put a hand over her heart. “ouch?”

“you wanted the truth.” you sneered. which wasn't really the right choice at this point, since she took that as liberty to start questioning your every move.

the worst 20 questions of your life was played as you walked home, your legs burning with ache of exhaustion was nothing over the mental anguish of being around a happy-go-lucky mirko.

you finally made it, the dorms in view as she decided to ask you one final question.

“so, my darling apprentice [name]. got any more ideas for questions?”

“no! so stop asking them!”

“you're no fun. hmm, let's see. oh! do you have a crush?”

don't say it, you repeated mentally in your mind, but you felt the oddly numb sensation of the answer leaving you.

“bakugo katsuki.”

her eyes widened and jaw went slack. “seriously? i thought i raised you better.” she joked, poking your side as you went to cover your face with your hands.

the church bells welcomed you as the golden staircase was opened from the clouds. step by step you took, angels singing and a halo over your head as you were greeted by loved ones past–

but your peaceful departure wasn't peaceful for very long.

“well, as long as you're happy [name]. i'll be going now, text me!”

she walked off with a smile that made you feel sick, but you couldn't resist the urge to wave goodbye anyways.

you leant up against the gate of the opening, your arms basically clung around the pillar. catching your breath as you prepared yourself for a week of hiding, of intense planning around your crush–

“hey, you okay weirdo?”

the voice of said crush filled your ears, making you realize that it indeed can always get worse.

“no, i'm not okay.” she said, letting go of the pillar and shakily standing on two feet, feeling like a fawn standing for the first time.

his eyebrows raised like he didn't expect you to say that, his mouth hung open for a second, before he decided to just retort. “oh, sucks to be you then.”

“yes, yes it does.” you say of your own will, dragging a hand longly against your face.

face-to-face with him, the guy you'd randomly became close with over the years, the one that you'd harbored and now openly spoke of your crush on, and the one who you shared an affinity for romance manga with.

“are ya ever g’nna get up properly? or you just gonna stare like a dumbass?” he asked, which made you answer begrudgingly.

“everyone who falls has to get up, unless they're dead.

…

but uh– don't wait on me!”

“...right.” he shrugged, moving back towards the door to walk inside. acting off after a mission wasn't anything crazy after all, they all had weird days. at least that's how he rationalized it.

“oh, and i borrowed some shit from your room. i'll give it you tomorrow.”

“be gentle!”

“whatever.” he closed the door after him, leaving your with your thoughts alone. after the sun had fully left you alone, you decided to bite the bullet and just go inside. taking a deep breath, you walked in, trying your best to just make it to your room.

mina came up to you, a pint of ice cream in her hand. “[name]! you're back! how was it?”

“bad.” you answered, wordlessly asking for a bit of her ice cream.

she gave it to you, before joining you as you walked up the stairs. “wanna talk about it?”

“not really, but it'll be forced out of me.”

“what??”

you sighed, explaining what happened to you in between bites of your ice cream. “truth quirk. talk too much. can't shut up.”

mina made an ‘o’ shape with her lips, pondering it over mentally. “but it's not like you're a crazy liar, what's the big problem?”

“my crush on katsuki. i'm so scared that i'm gonna accidentally be forced to confess because of this.” you admitted.

mina, thankfully didn't overreact. for a second. until she smiled gleefully and shoved you into your room. “wait here, i got something for you.”

she left you with the pint of ice cream, your favorite flavor, which kept you good company until she came back with the girls of the class.

“i hope you don't mind.. well it's too bad if you do, because i told them all already. whoops!” she said, leading them all in and shutting the door.

“so, you're finally confessing?” momo asked, making you almost choke.

“no! this is against my will! i'd never confess in my life! the embarrassment of getting rejected is something i couldn't recover from.”

“really? i mean- i think it's pretty obvious the two of you have something special. ribbit.” tsuyu added, looking up at the ceiling of your dorm thoughtfully. “well, its not like you have a choice now. might as well just do it.” jirou shrugged.

“if you're here to make fun of me you can just leave!” you whined into your hands. “im already making myself miserable just fine!”

the girls exchanged glances, before they sighed. uraraka started, “[name] we were here to try and encourage you to do it out of your own will, but if you really don't want to.. we can help.”

“help? like how?”

mina jumped, “by making sure you don't accidentally confess of course!”

“but it won't be easy.” yaoyorozu chimed in, “we'll have to plan this out well, it's a week isn't it?”

“a week from today.. that's saturday.”

“okay guys, let's do this for [name]!” mina cheered, placing her hand in the middle of the group. the other girls all moved to place their hands on top of hers, and waited for you to finish it off.

“come on!” uraraka encouraged, making you sigh and place your hand on the top.

as you raised your hand on the count of three, hearing their cheers and hopes in encouragement for you and for their plan, you felt a bit of hope that it just might turn out alright.

they shuffled out afterwards, patting you on the back and making tiny promises as they moved out. with a final wink from mina and a whispered, “good night [name], i promise everything will work out!” they were gone.

as you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling that never changed no matter what did in your life, you allowed yourself to rest.

7 days to go.

when will this end? you thought, all the optimism from yesterday ripped from you.

insomnia arose from the anxiety that implanted a pit of dread in your stomach, it didn't let you sleep, no matter how sleepy you had gotten.

horrible scenarios played one after one, like a record player made of your nightmares. what if he rejected you in front of your school? no, what if he has a secret girlfriend and you look like a total homewrecker for confessing?

or even worse, what if he doesn't like women at all and you missed all the signs?

you squealed into a pillow, trying to escape your sorrows as you realized,

you were probably just hungry for some actual food. when was the last time you ate properly? who knows.

you slipped on house slippers and made your way down the stairs to the kitchen. you prepared a pot of chai, greeting iida and other early risers who were up out of instinct, since it's a sunday.

yawning, you scroll mindlessly on your phone while you wait for your tea to finish. a familiar voice takes you out of your bubble.

“yo.” is all he says, sliding by you by causally placing a hand on your waist, letting go only a second later.

“uh.. hey. want some tea?” you managed, ignoring the spiraling of your soul as you were met by the close proximity of his face. “yeah, sounds cool.”

you pour him a glass, letting him put the sugar in by himself as you fix one for yourself too. he looks to see if anyone was in earshot of the two of you, before whispering into your ear.

“did you see when usui jumped off the building for misa?”

“yes. its one of my favorite scenes!” you answer before you realize it, but you're slowly starting to get used to the feeling of it. “i mean, he's so cool for that.”

“yeah, but his legs would be fucked. or he'd be paralyzed for life after that fall. would've been an easy choice to make him break a leg and have ‘er take care of him.”

“but isn't that so predictable? it's better to take a unique route-”

“no spoilers.”

“it's not really a spoiler though! man, i really loved that scene. i think it's my favorite.”

“why?” he asked, an odd tonal shift in his voice.”

“i like usui.”

“no, like. do you imagine someone doing that to you?” he was close, way to close. your mouth was opening, your answer was so clear to you, it was about to be ruined, until–

“oh [name]! may i have some of your tea please?” yaoyarozu saved the day. you thanked her mentally, getting her a glass and smiling at her small wink. she hung close by, you didn't notice before, but she was within earshot.

“anyways, what were we talking about katsuki?”

“..'s nothing. see ya.”

he left her there, knees weak in worry or affection? both probably. she mouthed a thank you to momo, before going back up to her dorm to get ready for the day.

sunday, not much to do thankfully. you decided to hang out in your room for a while, drawing and relaxing, managing to catch up on a couple hours of sleep as you tried to avoid katsuki as much as possible.

though, even in this brief moment where you were attempting to avoid him, you couldn't help but notice that he tended to come to you first.

greetings and conversations started by him, fleeting touches initiated by him, small nods in the hallways of the dorms given by him, and even-

a text message left by him, asking if he could come to your dorm for just a moment. for the books.

you wondered now if he was solely coming for that reason.. could there be an off chance he was coming for you?

..no. no way, you thought. you brushed it off, and opted to make it seem like the girls were already in your room, just so you wouldn't be alone with him. can't take chances anymore.

you texted the girls the news, and the ones who weren't at the mall or busy came to see you, leaving uraraka, tsuyu, and hagakure.

you welcomed them in, “thanks for coming guys. we can actually paint each others nails since we're already here?”

they all nodded with excitement, you pulled out the limited colors you had, though they were all your favorites. they began to paint each other’s nails, while you finally texted him back. telling him to come, but that the others were here too. he only reacted with a thumbs up.

“what did he say?” tsuyu asked.

“oh, he just responded with a thumbs up.” like you summoned him, a knock was heard at the door. you went to open it, making the girls laugh quietly behind their hands. greeting you was the sight of katsuki in his usual baggy attire holding two bags of books from what you could see. you stepped outside of your room, the door behind you. “hi katsuki.”

“hey– uh, [name].” he greeted. he held up a bag and handed it to you. “thanks for um.. lending it to me.” a hand naturally went towards the back of his head, rubbing it as he averted his eyes away from you.

he waited for you to set the bag down inside the room, before holding out the second one to you.

“what's this?” you asked, accepting it as you looked into red eyes.

“well– it's some of my collection. you haven't read it before, it's so we could talk about it. or something.”

a soft smile overcame you. “i think i'd like that.”

hagakure made a casual remark, they'd been eavesdropping from behind the door, muffled remarks not quite coherent enough to be a worry. but one question had managed to reach your and his ears.

“they're so cute together! aren't they literally dating?”

his face tinged pink, but you knew you'd say your thoughts.

“i wish.”

his face looked incredulous, as if he couldn't believe you just said that. “wait- what did you just–”

but before he could finish the question that would seal your fate, the door was opened quickly behind you, uraraka placing a hand over your mouth before smiling nervously. “um, she's not in her right mind today bakugo! don't mind her.”

his eyebrow raised. “really? why?”

“because.. it's that time of the month?” she managed, making him reel back and look apologetic. “oh. ill be.. going now then. bye.” you two waved him goodbye.

he left quickly, leaving his books next to the door as he speed walked away.

you were conflicted, not knowing whether to glare at or thank uraraka, but you closed the door behind you anyways.

“are you guys serious?”

“sorry!” hagakure pleaded. “i didn't think you two could hear me, the door wasn't closed all the way!”

“i mean, we were kind of close-”

“guys! all that matters is that i fixed it!”

“what do you mean fixed it?” you cut in. “you told him im out of my mind right now.”

“it'll be okay, he likes you too much to hold it against you.” she waved it off with a smile, and held your shoulders gently. “what you really should

he worried about is school. missions come at the end of the week, but how are you gonna deal with monday through wednesday?”

“i feel like you're changing the subject. and i'm going to avoid him. easy as pie.”

they all glanced at eachother, then back at you. “sure [name]. whatever you say.”

they all bid their goodbyes soon after, hagakure still apologizing profusely as the other two patted themselves on the back for speedy thinking.

the door shut and once again you were left to plan, only this time you managed a good night's sleep.

your life wasn't completely over, at least.

you dreaded the next three days. thursday and friday were safe for you, the only person you'd have to deal with being mirko since agencies tended to schedule students at the end of the week.

you woke up and prepared yourself. it was alright eight, so you'd only have an hour before heading to school.

you'd showered and changed, fixed your hair and fixed your bag.

unfortunately, katsuki is a really good guy.

a good friend, caring too. thats why you were startled by the sight of him at your door. you didn't have time to prepare, no time to call your backup or report, because he caught you right as many of the girls just woke up.

you were still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you looked up at him, “katsuki?”

he held a bag in his hand, something that was oddly reoccurring lately. “hey, about your 'time of the month’ shit.” he placed the bag safely in your arms, and averted his eyes from you once again.

“i brought you some stuff i thought might help, since we got class today.”

“really? you shouldn't have.” you peeked in the top, seeing a stuffed animal, chocolates, a heating pad, and some ice packs.

he sighed, almost dreamily. “i wanted to. i hope you stop feeling so fucked.” a beat passes, his eyebrows scrunched as if he wants to say something more, but he chooses not to.

“see ya.” with that, he left you alone with a warm feeling spreading throughout your chest. the pink bag gripped tightly in your hands and set gently onto your desk.

the warm feeling was soon gone, replaced with a feeling of guilt. guilt for basically ignoring him.

you slumped onto your desk in the middle of the class, scribbling down notes like there was no tomorrow, taking sips of a drink you enjoyed while ignoring the growing ache in your wrist.

mr. aizawa was just going over the basics of hero courtesy again, a refresher for your on hand experience at the end of the week. you really didn't need to take notes, but you found it got your mind off the red eyes you felt looking at the back of your head.

you were almost tempted to look back, almost. but with a determination that rivaled even midoriya’s, you just kept going.

finally, the lunch bell rang. you got up and stretched, everyone got their bearings and followed suit. they all piled out, leaving you as the last one there, though you couldn't help but notice a lingering gaze stare at you, before he finally followed suit and left the classroom.

you stood there, trying to figure out what you should do for lunch, when a ‘ahem’ brought you out of your thoughts.

“[name]. i appreciate your hard work in class and all, but id like to nap this period.” mr aizawa said gruffly.

“oh! sorry! i was just leaving.” you grabbed your lunchbox and ran out the room.

now came the issue of figuring out where to sit.

it was no secret to anyone that you and katsuki would usually spend the entire lunch period on the roof together most days, you'd even go up there by yourself on days he wasn't here.

so to be in the cafeteria again was a bit unnerving for you, but you took a spot besides jirou and got out the lunch you made.

she seemed surprised to see you, but then remembered why you were here. “it's cool to see you down here [name]. you're only ever up on the rooftop making out with your boyfriend.”

“we don't even make out. and he's not my boyfriend!”

“sure. that's why he's staring over here right now. and he stares at you in class too, does he ever get tired?”

“i don't know, why are you asking me like i know him in and out?”

“okay, let's just calm down you two.” momo cut in. “[name], happy to see you.”

you nodded, “yeah? i'm happy to see you too.”

you tried your best to ignore katsuki’s eyes boring into your soul, but you accidentally glanced over at him, quickly averting your eyes away.

you finished your lunch quickly, moving to be in between jirou and momo much to their dismay. you really just wanted this day to be over.

going back to class you rested your head against the table, only participating when you actively had to. you just felt so guilty about ignore him, especially after what he did for you this morning.

you realized just how much of your day you spent with him, because when it came time to walk back to the dorm, you felt alone for the first time in months even.

he'd always been by your side, maybe even offering to go out for a small treat with you, you felt the lack of his presence like a withdrawal.

you did everything you could just to avoid him in the halls, basically even running away at one point. everyone knew now of how weird you had been acting, but it wasn't really your fault, you had a master plan to enact!

the next day was just like the last, keeping your head down and turned completely away from katsuki, turning the opposite direction when you'd so much as see his hair, partnering with someone else just so you wouldn't get stuck with him.

going home to eat dinner in your room, ignoring his texts altogether. he even called you at one point.

you shoved a pillow over your head, though it didn't serve to silence the voices screaming at you that it wasn't fair what you were doing to him, that you should man up and just confess already.

but what you didn't expect was for him to take it into his own hands.

wednesday started easily enough, same way as the last two. silly for you to think you could go 3/3, no problems encountered.

you were walking in the halls, choosing the lower floors you knew he wouldn't be in, trotting down to the cafeteria to third wheel momo and jirou.

you were almost there, when you were suddenly pulled into a vacant classroom by the hand. a hand that you'd felt many times against yours, but never with so much intent behind it.

there stood katsuki in front of you, eyes low and waiting as he looked you over.

“[name].” he started, still holding on to your hand. “we need to talk.”

“talk. about what exactly?”

“you know what. you've been ignoring me.” he let go of your hand, crossing them into his chest as he looked you over. “did.. i do something wrong?”

“what? no! it's me!”

“you?”

“yes, it's me. not you. well i mean it is you, but not like that!”

“it's my fault?”

“yes– wait no. yes and no? listen-”

“so, you're ignoring me?” he stepped closer to you, eye contact fierce as you could see the mixed emotions in his eyes. betrayal, even.. insecurity.

“yes. well, i mean i don't– you don't understand!” you tried to reason, but he scoffed.

“save it. i know when im not wanted.”

“katsuki! no-” you grabbed his hand before you even realized it, pulling him closer to you.

“i..” your brain was screaming at you to just admit it now before you would do so accidentally, but..

you couldn't.

“i can't tell you why right now, but it's not what you think.”

his eyes rolled, he took his hand out of yours forcibly. “i don't think i even want to hear that shit. shove it.”

with his hands now shoved in his pocket, he left you alone in that classroom. you walked to the table with wide eyes, never thinking you'd ever miss the feeling of being watched, but admittedly you grew used to it.

you acted that way out of fear of rejection, but did you just get rejected anyways? you hit your head against the lunch table in frustration.

“i'm an idiot.” you muttered, muffled by the material of the tables below. momo patted you on the back.

“i mean, i called it.” jirou said, taking a bite out of her food. “no way this was ever gonna work out.”

“it really wasn't the best idea [name]..” momo finally agreed, still soothing your back. “i mean, there was better ways of going about this. you just ended up pushing him away.”

“i know that now. ugh!”

“it's not too late, there's only what? three days left? you can make it up to him on saturday.”

“it's too late, i'm ruined.”

“right..”

you don't remember the rest of the conversation. you didn't remember even walking up to class, or walking out of it to your dorm. you were in a state of mourning, dreading ever seeing him again. at least for the next two days you wouldn't.

that was the only thought that could let you sleep peacefully, but it made you wake up early regardless.

sulking as you got ready in your hero outfit, walking slowly to the train station with a bag you packed the week prior. mirko texted you the location in tokyo where you'd meet up this week, standing on one of the sides of the train station that seemed pretty busy today.

as the train came to a stop in front of you, you noticed that when the door opened, a familiar face was on the other side.

katsuki.

your eyes widened and looked away from his as you shuffled in, all the seats were full to you hanged onto the bar.

you didn't look at him, though you were jealous at the fact that he got a seat and you didn't. you sulked internally, feeling your knees buckle at not only your exhaustion, but the proximity to him.

there was only a small space next to him now, the kid who'd been next to him getting off at this stop. you eyed it, and he noticed, sighing and gently pulling you towards him.

you were shoved against him, though he said nothing to you.

“kat–”

“it's nothing. don't think about it.”

he barely spared you a glance, though you felt you deserved it now. you sighed, instinctually leaning a head on his shoulder and dozing off. he didn't move you off of him.

you felt him lay his head on yours, the music from his outdated wired headphones leaking into your ear as you took a nap.

the time felt like nothing as you laid there, feeling like only a split second when you felt katsuki shaking you. “yo, [name]. wake up.” he called to you. your eyes fluttered open, squinting at the fluorescent bright lights of the train.

“hm?” you mumbled, moving off of him to get up.

“we're at our station. or mine at least.” he slung his bag around his shoulder.

“oh, this is mine too. coincidence.”

“yeah.”

at the news he grabbed your bag and held it. he waited for you to stretch you legs and neck, before walking beside you. “so, where are ya going?”

“to mirko.”

“duh, i know that. but what is she doing in tokyo of all places?”

“oh, she just tells me places to go and i get there day of. she can't tell me anything, i think it's confidential?”

“mhm. well i'll walk you to your shit, i'm a future number one hero, not an asshole.

“well..”

“then walk by yourself.” he threw your bag at you, walking faster and leaving you a bit behind.

“no, wait!”

you chased after him, and kept by his side. no matter which direction you turned, it was the same way he was going. until you finally just look at the address, and sure enough..

mirko decided to work at best jeanist’s agency.

you felt a mix of emotions wash over you. annoyance, dread, anger.

“what's up?”

“mirko chose to work with best jeanist.”

“what?”

“i know.”

“she only did it to piss me off. ugh!” she kicked a can in the alleyway. they were in eyeshot of the huge agency.

“really, why would she even do that?”

“because of you.” a hand slapped over your mouth.

“me? really?” you could hear the smirk on his face, he waltzed over to you. you were nearing the entrance now, only a staircase keeping you alone with him. you could even see the familiar white ears of your now enemy.

“what?

do you have a crush on me or something?” it was just a joke, you could hear it in his cocky demeanor.

but that didn't stop the hands that shot off your face involuntarily, as you let out a meek. “yes.”

the smile was wiped off of his face now, shock filling his expression. you ran into the doors, standing beside a mirko who greeted you warmly. a hand reaching out to grab you was now left in the air.

it felt like the air had left his lungs too.

because it turns out his feelings were reciprocal after all.

the meeting would start in a small moment, that's what the receptionist told you as you stood next to mirko, who you pulled aside to talk to.

placing your hands on either side of her shoulders, you let her have it.

“mirko, why would you choose to work here of all places?”

“i wanted to play wingman for my favorite partner. sue me.”

“but– this is making everything worse! why couldn't you have just done this in a week! or better yet- never!” you cried, stomping a foot on the floor. “

i didn't want or need any help- any now i'll have to spend tomorrow on some awkward random patrol!”

“it won't be so awkward, remember that me and that best jeanist guy will be there too.”

“like, third-wheeling? thanks a lot. that really helps me feel better.”

“think nothing of it. anyways, this is for the better. i caught wind of you and the girls’ plan. it really sucked. maybe my plan will end up working. you never know.”

“so? and what if it doesn't?”

“then what? you already got rejected didn't you?”

“yes.” a beat passed, your glare only getting stronger. “you're so annoying.”

“you love me though, anyways it's time.” she grabs your hand and guides you to the meeting room. you're sat right next to katsuki, though you do your best not to look at him. it's awkward enough just thinking about how you'd even salvage the relationship you had before, so you try not to.

you realize way too late that you'd managed to zone out through the entire mission. the map displayed virtually might as well had been in another language, the suspects and victims melting into each other, the objectives not clear.

the only notable thing to you was a random, large red circle over a part of the city. but besides that you had no idea what was going on, and based on the look on mirko’s face, listening along was vital.

you brushed it off. not thinking that it was that important, and your instincts hadn't failed you that horrifically yet.

you exited the room besides mirko, who had gotten the two of you a hotel for the two nights you were staying here. a penthouse suite awaited you. you would've been more thankful, if not for her betrayal of you earlier.

the night was swift, faster than you wanted it to be. you found yourself already in your hero outfit at the crack of dawn, trudging alongside mirko.

one word described the streets. busy, full of life. something you weren't really used to.

stealth missions and random outposts were where you were usually sent, nobody seen for ages. so maybe you should have spent a bit more time paying attention to the mission debrief..

“is it always like this?” you questioned to bakugo, who stood right next to you.

“what do you mean?”

“like. busy.”

“oh, yeah it is. always pretty boring though. no smart villain would make an attack with so many people around. at least one hero would be stationed over here.”

“guess you're right.”

“i know i am.”

and he was proven right. the side of town you two were stationed to, seperate from mirko and jeanist, was completely fine.

the only thing you two had done the whole day was save a cat out of a tree, handing it to a little girl who looked up at you with stars in her eyes as you did.

it was afternoon now, and your shift was officially over. you slumped against a wall dramatically, slipping down onto the floor as you breathed a sigh of relief.

katsuki sat next to you, a close proximity between you two not foreign usually, though with the weird back and forth that had been going on thus far, it was nice to know he still considered you to be close.

“‘m fucking hungry.” he finally said, making you laugh. “that's what you're thinking of right now?”

“no. not really.”

“well, then what is it?”

“it's you, [name].”

he takes a breath. “let me talk, okay.” he moved to face you, and at your nod, he continued.

“you confuse me. for years we've gotten close, comfortable. but all of a sudden you avoided me like the plague. i hated it.” his face changes with a mixture of emotions.

“i.. i really fucking like you. and i'm confused as if you feel the same way, you seemed pissed to even be with me right now so. it's just odd. you're acting odd.

because sometimes you're like fucking into me. you even brought me lunch at some point. and now with the ignoring me bullshit? i just don't get it.” he dropped his shoulders, eyes widening slightly.

“so do you like me or not? or should i just leave you the fuck alone?”

“yes and no.”

his face scrunched up in confusion. “so-”

“ugh! just shut up! i like you- okay? is that what you wanted to hear?”

“yes, actually.” he breathed a sigh of relief, a joking hand laid over his chest. “you're confusing.”

“i know.”

“you're close.”

“i mean you sat here-”

“can i kiss you?”

a crack of sunlight dawned through the small corridor, illuminating his eyes, and to him your body. you knew what you'd say for yourself, but you didn't mind this time.

because it's what you truly wanted.

“i thought you'd never ask.”

you felt his lips on yours in an instant, his arms wrapping around your lower back and caging you into him, the buzzing of your phone going unnoticed as he tilted his head against yours.

breathless. the only real word you could use to describe how you felt right now, after having pulled away.

you didn't have a chance to wipe your lip gloss off his face, not before mirko and jeanist stood behind you two, her hands on her hips as a smirk came over her face.

“i see someone was having fun.”

oh right. the mission..

“not like it matters anymore, but we caught the villains. i texted you about it, but when you didn't respond jeanist over here told us to come

quickly.”

she gestured over to a face-palming jeanist, who only said, “it seems you two had more pressing matters to deal with.” katsuki wiped the lip gloss off his lips, wincing at the sticky feeling left on his face.

mirko snorted, while you hung your head in embarrassment, and katsuki looked away from the two of them.

“you know what? stay out as long as you two lovebirds would like. i'll cover for the two of you.”

“what? really?”

she winked at you, and mouthed “wingman”, before turning to leave. “if you're really questioning me, i'll just not let you g-”

katsuki cut her off. “it's cool. thanks, see you losers.” he grabbed your hand, pulling you effortlessly off the ground, a bit into his chest as he led you to start walking off.

“'got somewhere cool to show ya’.” is all he said, before taking you to a restaurant he frequented, or so he told you. he ordered the spiciest plate, and you chose one to your preference. you got a dessert, he skipped out though because of his disdain for them.

“katsuki, i really should tell you something.”

“go ahead.”

it was your turn now to breath, looking up at the ceiling and shutting your eyes as you blurted out, “i was hit by a truth quirk, i avoided you because i was scared to confess to you, and now i feel guilty.”

no sound was heard other than the clacking of utensils and movement in the background, you opened your eyes to see a bakugo who looked as if he was holding in his laugh.

“seriously? that was it?” you could hear the smile in his voice, his hand moved to cover his mouth. “no- i mean that's super crazy [name], very justified response.”

“you're rude.”

“no, no i'm being real.” he could barely hide the casual giggle being let out, “like, it's crazy how hard that must've been. no immediate solutions at all.”

“well, i'm emotionally invested so obviously it was harder for me to think!”

“why didn't you just tell mr. aizawa, he could've canceled it out for you in class.”

“.. i didn't think of that.”

he couldn't help it anymore, he burst out laughing, having to cover his hand with his mouth to keep from cackling.

meanwhile, you crossed your arms and looked straight-faced. “this isn't funny at all by the way.”

he finally calmed down enough, grabbing your hand from across the table and still smirking slightly.

“sorry, sorry. fucking sore ass subject, i got it. let's get out of here already.”

“right, you ruined the atmosphere.”

“sure i did.”

he paid, and for your last stop of the day, he got you ice cream at a park. you just wanted to sit down, legs tired from the amount of walking you did today.

licking at your favorite flavor, he holds up his ice cream to your mouth to try. it was a sour, savory flavor. but you ended up liking it.

the moon was out now, greeting the two of you as you sat side-by-side, illuminating your bodies with the reflected rays of the sun.

it felt late you realized, and you looked down at your phone’s time, sighing in happiness.

it was 12:00, you were free.

“hey katsuki, ask me something.”

“uh.. did you enjoy our day today?”

“no.” a face of annoyance grew on his face, while one of excitement adorned yours. “see? it's over!”

“you can say that.”

“no dumbass! i lied, i really did enjoy today! the quirk is over.” you leaned back raising your hands in glee. “i'm free!”

he laughed, leaning back with you and looking at the constellation’s in the sky.

“well, since you're free now, i'll ask you one final question.”

“hm?” you turned to look at him, his hand rose to grab yours in his. his fingers ran over your knuckles.

“can i be your boyfriend?”

you paused, before a smile erupted over your face once again.

“you could've asked me earlier, and my answer would still be the same,”

so, obviously yes.”

he grinned, pulling you into him.

you sealed your answer with a kiss. soft, endearing, long, and truthful. his hands were tangled in your hair, your hands around the upper part of his back.

as you pulled away, you could only hope this would last forever, that the feeling of honesty and security would be forever eternal as you laid against his chest, pointing out things you'd saw in the stars.

but looking at him once more, you knew it'd be alright.

it was the truth written in the stars, after all.

end.

tags: @k0z3me @darhinadadragon @maddietries @exoticrasin @lavendarstarz @hisonlyobsession @i-the-fluffo @cookielovesbook-akie @frosted-flakes @irenne-stans @lulumi1u @bakunis

[suguru-getos]

| Bully!Satoru Gojo x F!reader | Part 2 |

-> Part 1

Summary: You had just transferred schools, and your first day was an encounter with your new bully. He’s mean, terrifically hot & absolutely a menace. Though there’s more to that personna. Chapter Summary: After humiliating Gojo in the cafeteria, he has better ways to force pay-back. Hey! That shirt you ruined, was expensive.

Warnings: Oh he is a real piece of shit here with a barely there moral compass. Mentions of humiliation, bul!ying, belittling, teasing. The reader is slowly getting into an auto-pilot mode.

New chapter every week, comment down below if you want to be tagged! ^^

Taglist: @mc-reborn @tvdumarvelhpsimp @alula394 @getoxmahito @knanamii @he4rts444mi @localginger22 @animeisforkings @ran6ia @creative1writings @lenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @zoemaelol @shoutascoffeepot

It feels like pure humiliation, the way you walked off from the cafeteria. Satoru stood there, the warm, sticky gravy sticking to him. It feels like a sensory nightmare. White hot rage simmering through the very marrow of his bones. He exhales, glancing up just to see if there was anyone dumb enough to enjoy his misery he could stomp on. Nobody had the balls to, nobody has the balls to until you come across.

What was your fucking problem?

He walked away from the cafeteria, long strides eager to seek you out and punish you ruthlessly for your deranged and depraved, bratty behaviour. Satoru Gojo is worshipped like the literal god, who the hell are you? Meanwhile, you, amidst all your molten courage flowing in your veins, were the epitome of anxiety. You can't mistake his blazing steamy rage filled blue eyes greying… to be anything but merciful. You're not delusional.

A veiny, pale hand gripped your hair, the other wrapped around your mouth as you were dragged through the lonesome corridor. You whimpered at the burn in your scalp and before you could register what was happening, Satoru was standing in front of you. Baring his hostile teeth as he grits. "You've done it." He's almost amused, contemplating what more he can do to you, what more can you really handle… then again, does it matter if you can or can’t handle?

"Here's what's going to happen…" He pushed himself against your chest, unrelenting at how disgusting you might feel, transferring the filth on his shirt to yours. You struggled like a fish out of water. Satoru is taller, bulkier, stronger and you realize that soon enough.

"You will be my silly little pet, because guess how much this shirt costs?" He chuckled, whispering gravely against the shell of your ear. "1800 dollars, missy."

You feel shocked upon hearing the price, eyes widening as he slowly leaned his hand away so you could speak.

"Either you fucking pay me back, with interest for each day. Or you shut the fuck up and be my silly little pet for a month I will stomp on, my little useless errand girl. Sounds fitting to someone who looks like you, no?" He smirks, watching the colour fade in your eyes. He is sort of impressed by himself, the way he instantaneously thought of such a brilliant idea. That money means nothing to him, but not everyone is that blessed.

Once you finally gathered what was happening, you raised a brow. "Why should I be an errand girl to someone who collided against me and is now begging to be paid for his filthy shirt? Learn to walk properly asshole!" You spit back, eyes siren and jaw gritted.

"Kay then, I will ask your mommy and daddy to pay for their daughter's bullshit." He left your hair, the pain subsiding into a dull ache.

He wasn't fucking serious was he? You and your parents weren't essentially on the best terms, they have just shifted to Tokyo and while they would be willing to pay, your self-respect wouldn't allow you. Your mother would keep taunting you about this for the rest of your life… you really don't want that.

Satoru noticed the shift in your behaviour when he mentioned your parents - "Heh, guess they don't like you either huh?" He smirked, not caring how hard it would jab you. It kinda did.. but you couldn't care less. Not coming from him especially.

"10 days, of me being your errand girl." You wanted to be ploughed down into death once you uttered these words. There was nothing you could do anyways. Parents involving, not so much…

"A month." Satoru shrugged, smirking. He has you exactly where he wants. His sole goal is to make you cry every single day and make sure you apologize for being a little shit to him.

"And, you do whatever the fuck I say you to. If I tell you to clean my shoe with your tongue, you 'fucking' clean my shoe with your tongue."

Oh it felt like dying, like you were stabbed endlessly by a thousand swords when he said that.

"How do I know after a month you wouldn't bother me or my parents with the money?" Satoru raised a brow, smirking. "I'm a man of my word, little bitch." He squeezed your face in a single hand, watching your puckered lips. "I say you're free after a month, then you're free after a month, though you'll wish every single day that you paid me back." He chuckled, rolling his eyes as he let go of your face with a jerk, letting the back of your head collide a little with the wall.

You were so cute, small, stompable…

"See me when the school ends."

Satoru walked away with that, and your shoulders slumped. This is what it has truly come to? You needed some time to yourself after this, why are you always so pushy and so cocky? What if you didn't humiliate him… a month of sheer torture is what you've signed up for, just to not be tortured by your mother. Besides, it's a lot of money and you don't think your parents owe you because a shitty ass senior got pissed.

You dragged your feet to him, after the school ended. His whole group was present, they were busy chitchatting. Satoru perked up like a spoiled brat the moment his eyes glazed through you beneath the glasses. "My little lap bitch is hereeee~" He perked, walking towards you and smirking at how you grimace when you see the way he was treating you.

"Go, fetch us popsickles." He grinned, giving you the money. You didn't say anything, trying oh so hard not to slap him across the face and breathing out. "Mkay."

You looked up, counting the number of people, "Excluding yourself, no popsickles for you." He simply shrugged.

Oh he was getting beneath your nerves so bad. "I wouldn't buy them for myself." You explained anyway, "Don't wan' em." With that, you walked away, getting to the vending machine and getting those fucking popsickles which you rather wish were poisoned so he dies for good.

When you're back, he made sure you give them to everyone, made sure you give it to him- after opening the packet- and then dropped it.

"Whoops, gotta run again lil girl." He chuckled, his friends were… stunned too. Satoru is a cunt, they all know that. He pushes people through their limits but he's never been this much of an asshole towards any girl. Maybe because none of them did anything except slither around him and worship him.

You tear up, you have never… felt this humiliated in your life ever. Nanami gives his popsickle to Satoru, "Here, Gojo san. I don't want it. Please take it." He is so polite, kind… but his Senpai had other plans.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" He raises his voice a little, and you are left with nothing but a reminder of him demanding this money from your parents. Your feet are stoned to the ground though, unmoving. "Okay." You managed to say again, taking a deep breath as you force yourself to the vending machine yet again, bringing back his popsickle.

You thought highschool would be fun, you would make new friends, go to karaoke parties, excel in subjects, in extra curriculars, whatnot.. you never expected yourself landing into the clutches of rich asshole Gojo Satoru.

Once you're back, you unwrap it again and give it to him. For fuck's sake he finally accepted.

"Kay, gimme your number." He extends his hand with his phone on it, letting you reluctantly add your number and saving it as 'Servant'. Showing it to you to rub salt on your wounds. "Off you go, see you tomorrow." He smiled. You were relieved you don't need to see his face for the rest of the day.

Once you reached home, you cried. All the emotions overwhelming you all at once. Guess he was right, he will make you cry everyday..

The rest of the day passes by in a haze before you find yourself back in school again.

"OH good morning little errand girl!" Satoru's presence looms, he was waiting for you at the entrance, you looked up at him. Not responding for now. You needed to get to class. OH so you're being indifferent now? Satoru is pissed…

"So eager to go to class, I have a job for you though!" He snickers, watching your stompy feet come to a pause. Good, you were still listening. He will push you a little more. "During the lunch time, go and bring my lunch for me, kay? You won't eat unless I finish." He smirked, walking away.

The problem is… it's not fun anymore. At least… not how it was when you retaliated. Maybe he shouldn't have used the money thing and just teased you when you had the means to push it back. You just nodded and left.

During the lunch time, you did as directed. Bringing his plate to him in front of everyone… oh it satiated his silly little ego so much.

Though he wonders if you will snap… finally. If not, he can just push it. No? He extends his hand to Haibara who reluctantly gave his water bottle to Satoru.

Before you could process what happened, you were drenched. The white shirt now translucent, showing your bra. Everyone laughed, some of them were gawking at how the shirt does no justice to you, now that it sticks to your skin, you look much more delectable. "Oops, my hand slipped." He says again, though he knows he's pushed this one too hard. Today was only the second day. Besides, a vile feeling erupted beneath him when he felt others gawk at you. Look away. Look. THE FUCK. AWAY.

Rolling his eyes, he puts his blazer on you, "Here, go get changed.." He mumbled, your silence was not helping. Not fucking helping when you shivered at the coldness of your body, how you just… took it. You didn't even cry, this was to be expected from him anyways.

You nodded, walking towards the infirmary alone. "For fuck's sake…" Satoru snarled, whatever left of his inner conscience slapping him hard as he followed you to it. Making sure you change your clothes and gave you a juice.

You were silent again, taking it from him. "Got nothing to say?" He raises a brow, "I thought you were all big and mean…" He emphasized again.

"Nothing to say. I expected worse." You shrugged, walking away. You expected 'worse'? What kind of worse…

"What the fuck do you mean?" He holds your wrist, "You know, like beating me the fuck up or something." You looked at his eyes. Wow… you truly think of him as vile and disgusting don't you? Why does it pinch him so hard? He's done nothing but bother you and made you believe he is trash.

"Kay." He mumbles, walking away. He's the one bullying you and he's the one being bullied at the same time.

Satoru Gojo doesn't bother you for the rest of the week and the weekend after.

Monday… he asks you to hold his bag for him all the way to his home. Watches you cutely manage both yours and his bag when he could easily hold your bag and you…

You're panting softly when you reach the Gojo estate, cutting the call from your mother and texting her you'll be late. "Here's your bag." You gave it to him and he took it from you easy peasy. "Alright, well.." He can see the sweat beads on your forehead, the way you are twisting your shoulder for relief. Suguru has already stopped talking to him because of this behaviour. You look cute, even when you piss him off so bad.

"Go run home." Satoru scoffs and leaves. Maybe he should just shorten the duration from a month to 15 days… but then, would you become the rebel he liked you to be or would you just ignore him…. contemplation, contemplation… and lots of contemplation.

[fruittt-punchhh]

Pop My Cherry!

all parts

Synopsis: your dad's best friend is none other than Toji Fushiguro, and you can't help but wonder what he could do with his hands.

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x reader.

Content: Minors Do Not Interact! smut, afab! reader, fem! reader, dad's best friend! Toji, suggestiveness, cursing, inexperienced (ish) reader, reader is a virgin but has done things ya know, female masturbation, male masturbation, mutual masturbation, getting caught in the act, reader smokes weed, alcohol usage, pet/ affectionate names, age gap (reader is 24, Toji is in his 30s), Toji calls reader (doll, slut, bitch, etc.), big dick! Toji.

Word Count: 3.6k-ish

Notes: hi again cuties!! I hope you’re enjoying it so far, I am loving it tbh! please enjoy the filthy smut in this chapter❤️‍🔥🗣️🫶. Lemme know what ya think! pt. 4 may take a minute but trust I gotchu covered. enjoy!!

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you stilled your movements, hoping he didn’t notice what you were doing. You quickly close out of the app and pull the blanket up to cover whatever shred of dignity you had left.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” You blurt out. You attempt a laugh to play it off, but it comes out as a nervous sounding chuckle if anything. Your dad and the rest of the boys were supposed to be out all day, you thought. Your phone said it was only 4:30, yet here Toji stood in your room with a look on his face that you’ll never forget.

His expression was dark and his pupils were blown. You would have thought he had taken some sort of drug, had you not seen his gaze go directly towards your tits.

“I should be askin’ you the same thing, sweet girl. I’ve got work in a few hours so I had to come back early.” He says with a smirk. He takes a step into your room and shuts the door behind him. The package was discarded on your dresser. He traipses towards you, never taking his eyes off of you. “But imagine my surprise when I come down the hallway to hear you saying ‘mm, y-yeah, just like that Mr. Fushiguro’. Then better yet, I open the door to see your poor attempt at pleasing yourself. I mean can you even call it masturbating at that point?” Toji is now sitting on the edge of your bed, with his arm supporting his weight behind him. His muscles are nearly ripping the sleeves of his shirt as he balls up the blanket in his fist.

“W-What are you talking about? I was ju-“, you feign innocence hoping that god will hear your lies and smite you to save you from the embarrassment that is this moment.

“Cut the shit, doll. You think I have to see what you’re doing to know what you’re doing? It’s painted all over that pretty face of yours. You look like you’ve been going at it for hours. Your lips are all swollen and your face is red. Let’s be fucking real, sweetheart” he inches closer to you, knowing you have no where to hide. He’s now sitting back on his legs, awaiting your response with hungry eyes.

“I-okay, fine. I was… touching myself or whatever. But I wasn’t ‘going at it for hours’! I’ve been really stressed with school, and I thought I had the house to myself today. Plus I smoked and that always makes it feel better so I figured I-“

“That’s enough. You don’t have to make up any more excuses. I know it was because of last night. Why would you be in here whining my name if it wasn’t, huh?”

There he goes again, making your face feel as if it’s on fire. If you could die in a hole and never be seen again, you would gladly take the chance with a smile on your face. There was no way you could get out of this one.

“Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? A few minutes ago I could hear you as soon as I walked through the front door. Did I embarrass you or something?”

Truth be told, he did, but given his cocky attitude, you knew you couldn’t let on. “pfft- I’m not embarrassed,” you bluff, “everybody does it. B-But nobody likes being caught in the act so to speak.”

He smiles almost ear to ear. Did you really think he was stupid? From your shaky voice to the blush rising up your face, he knew you were bullshitting. “I mean some people might like getting caught. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you wanted to. You could have at least locked the fucking door.”

Shit, he was right. I mean, to be fair, you knew no one was home. But locking the door would have taken two fucking seconds! Were you so pent up that you couldn’t take any extra precautions?

“I-I guess I thought no one would be home for a while. I’m really sorry Mr. Fushiguro, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Your headphones had been out for a bit at this point, so you aren’t mistaken when you hear Toji laugh at you. Like full-blown, hearty, laughter. He regains his composure, and he is suddenly much closer than you think you can handle. At this point, you can smell his musk from being outside all morning, and the scent makes your legs feel weak.

“That’s precious, but just call me Toji, yeah?”

You nod feverishly awaiting his next words.

“Doll, the only one here that’s uncomfortable is you. I’m just fine. Like you said, everybody does it.” He’s now sitting directly in front of you, with eyes that are drilling holes into your skin. You feel like prey in his eyes and you’re not sure if being scared is an appropriate response.

He adds, with a grin, “how about I show you how I do it?”

————————————————————————

Did you hear him correctly? Show you how he… how he masturbates? At this point, you’re starting to think your weed was laced. There is no way this man that oozes sex appeal is offering to touch himself. In front of you. You take a few breaths to ground yourself and try to think of anything that you could say back to that.

“H-how you do what, Toji?”

Regrettably, you let your eyes travel down the man before you. He was wearing the same black compression shirt from the night before, along with a pair of loose, gray sweatpants. My god was he big. He didn’t even look fully hard, and yet, it was about to bust the seam of his sweats. You could even see a wet patch forming at the tip of his cock if you squinted. You felt your mouth watering at the sight. You thought about how big he would feel in your tiny hands, how it would feel down your throat. How he would tell you how to take him best since you weren’t the most experienced. You blinked a few times before you gained the courage to refocus your attention on his face.

“Don’t play dumb with me little girl. Lemme’ show you how I make myself feel good, and you can do the same for me.”

At this point, he was crawling towards you. You had no choice but to lie down underneath him, retreating into your mattress as best you could. He was now hovering over you, eyes peering into yours. You had no where to run.

He continues, “and then when we’re done, we can use everything we learned on each other. How does that sound huh, sweet girl? I know you’re real smart so this shouldn’t be hard for you at all.” He brings his hand up to play with the thin strap of your bikini top. He slowly slides the strap over your shoulder, and plants a wet kiss where it once resided.

You shiver in response, ultimately petrified as to what will happen next. You were excited, sure, but Toji didn’t know you were a virgin. You didn’t want to disappoint him with your lackluster skills. On top of that, you weren’t even sure if you could take an average sized dick, let alone a monster like Toji’s.

“Don’t get quiet on me now, woman. You were begging to be fucked like a slut just a minute ago. Use your words.” He lowers himself so he can whisper what you’ve been wanting to hear since last night, “Tell me what you want, and I’ll fucking give it to you”

“T-Toji, I can’t, it’s s-so embarrassing. I don’t know if we should.”

“Look, doll, we already know what’s going to happen. Besides, you’re the one in here wearing next to nothing while you play with your sweet pussy. All you have to do is ask, girl”

There’s no turning back now. A little heavy petting and making out won’t hurt anyone, right?

“You, Toji. I-I want you.”

“Ask nicely and I’ll think about it.” He says as he peppers sloppy kisses on your collarbone. He sucks and nips at the skin on your neck, making you writhe underneath him. He adores watching you come undone for him.

“Please, pretty please, I want you. I need you, Toji.” You couldn’t believe you were saying this out loud. Yeah, you’ve been wanting, no, dreaming for this to happen. But why are you begging him like he’s the last man on earth?

“Oh it’s a need, not a want huh? Guess I better fucking give it to you then, right? Wouldn’t want to deprive your filthy cunt anymore than she already has been.”

You whimper as his vulgar words fill your ears. You knew Toji had a foul mouth, but you had no clue to what extent. The way he was talking now had you scared for what’s to come. You felt red hot whenever he touched you, and you couldn’t help but moan when he was licking stripes up your ear and telling you to sit up for him.

He throws the blanket off the bed as he helps you sit up against your pillow. He pushed you up against the headboard as his lips crash into yours. You whine into the kiss and he plunges his tongue into your mouth. You nearly lose it when he bites your bottom lip and sucks on it, easing the pain. You can taste the alcohol on his breath, and he can smell the weed all over you. He’s pulling away all too soon as he sits back at the end of the bed.

“Now I want you to be a good girl and do everything I say, ya’hear? I would hate if your daddy found out that you were smoking today, ya’know, since he’s a cop and all. We can keep this between us and he won’t hear a thing, okay doll?”

You furiously nod your head in agreement. Your dad would make your life a living hell if he knew you smoked. Plus, even without the threat on the table, you were anxious to see what Toji would do with you next.

“I already told you to use your words once. Don’t make me say it again.”

“S-sorry, Toji. I won’t tell anyone I promise.”

“That’s what I thought. Come sit on my lap, pretty girl.”

As if you were under his spell, you shift your way towards the end of the bed and do as you’re told. You can immediately feel how hard he is underneath you. It doesn’t help that the material of these bottoms are paper thin. You swear you can feel his member throb and if you weren’t wet enough before this, you definitely were now. You were just about to rut your hips forward to help relieve the ache between your thighs.

Until Toji pushes you back so you’re sitting on his big thighs, legs spread impossibly far. His thighs were so toned and big, and it didn’t help that he had his legs crossed. It was all you could do to not fall into his chest searching for your balance.

“Gimme some room, brat. You’re not gonna learn how to make me feel good if you can’t see this dick now will you?”

You nod in anticipation and you anxiously await his next move. He palms himself over his sweats and you can’t help but whimper. He tosses his head back and groans, gripping on his leaking tip while he bites his bottom lip. He’d never let you know it, but he could have cum just from you sitting on his lap like that. Your big ‘fuck me’ eyes staring back at him as you grind all over his throbbing cock. Your sweet clit getting hit in all the right spots while you soak his pants. He knew he’d have to edge himself before he had his way with you or else he might cum before you even take your bikini off.

You watched Toji grunt in satisfaction as he rubbed the tip of his cock through his sweats. Your face grew a shade darker as he bit his lip and whined your name. You couldn’t help but look away as it felt too sinful to look upon someone so lustfully.

Wait, did he just.. whine? For you? Surely you were hearing things. You couldn’t have, though, right? It was clear as day:

“Fuck, y/n. Look s-sooo… pretty f’me, baby”

A smirk forms across your face as you realize he’s just as needy as you are right now. And did he just call you baby? This was getting too good. At this moment, you felt like you had regained some semblance of your confidence back. That was, until he was quick to rebuke your cute little smirk with his downright pornographic words.

“Watcha’ smiling for, huh? Think it’s funny that you’ve got me so hot for you I bet, heh.” He chuckles at you, “You’re lucky I didn’t just make you suck this cock so I could blow my load down your throat and be done with you, slut.”

A moan escapes your lips as you bite your bottom lip, trying to maintain any sense of composure you had left. It was disconcerting how quickly he took that little shred of confidence and flipped it on a dime. All the while, he’s still stroking himself through his sweats and you see a small bead of sweat form at his temple (should you lick it off?) As you look down at what was once a small stain on the outside of his pants, you see the wet patch has grown much larger. It was more than enough to show that he was desperate for stimulation, just as you were.

You felt yourself cringe at how exposed you felt as you straddle him. He looks up at you with dark, hooded eyes. Some of his hair is starting to stick to his forehead, (since when was it this fucking hot in the house???) and he looks so domineering, in spite of the fact that he was underneath you. You stifle another moan as you look down at your hands, trying to break eye contact before you explode.

“Don’t be shy, baby doll. Look at how hard ya’ got me, yeah?”

He finally grabs the waistband of his sweats, dragging them slowly off of his length. To your (non)surprise, he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. His cock springs forward onto his clothed stomach with a loud smack. He was even bigger than you thought. He was so hard it looked painful, almost. His tip was red and weeping precum, and his dick twitched as you gasped. It was so veiny and girthy. I mean it had to be at least ten inches. There was no fucking way that was going to fit.

He hisses at the cool air. He had to grab the base of his cock to stop himself from painting your stomach white. You looked so hungry for him as you gasped, and the sight was enough to send Toji reeling.

“When I came in here and saw you in that slutty little swimsuit, it took everything in me not to take these bottoms off and fuck you right there.” He says as he runs a hand under your bikini bottoms, grabbing your ass so hard you’re sure it’ll leave a bruise.

His words make your pussy hot, and you can’t help but grind into nothing. Toji wouldn’t let you sit on just one of thighs, no. He wanted you straddling both of them, pussy spread out right in front of his cock, but without any contact so you couldn’t get any sort of friction where you needed it the most.

“Aw,” he coos, “I bet you would like that huh, baby? I’m sure those guys back at uni never made you finish. Is that right?”

You scramble to say something believable. No guys at school had made you finish but they also never got the chance to. When it came to your sexual experiences, you were more of a giver.

“Uh, I-I mean, I guess technically not, but it-“

“Oh wait, don’t tell me. Is today my lucky fucking day?”

Fuck. You couldn’t help but hide behind your hands. It didn’t help that he slowly started to work his hand up and down his length. He let out a throaty groan as his thumb ran over his slit, gathering the excessive precum and using it to tease his cock head.

“What do you mean, t-toji?”

“You’re a virgin, aren’t ya’, y/n?”

The only sounds that could be heard were your heavy breathing and the sounds of his dick being stroked ever so slowly. There was no point in lying now. He could read you like a book.

“Y-yeah, I am. I’ve just been so busy with school, and like, I-I’ve done stuff before it just never got to the point where-“

“I knew it. Shh, it’s okay baby doll. You just wanted to save that pretty cunt for a real fucking man, right? You knew those college boys could never give some proper dick.” You can’t help the grin that grows across your face, because he honestly wasn’t wrong.

“Don’t worry. Toji’s gonna take real good care of you. Why don’t you spit on it f’me, huh doll?”

Jesus Christ, he was so fucking nasty. You’re sitting in this man’s lap, ogling him as he pleases himself. He was moaning now, going at a steady pace as he kept his eyes planted on you. You gathered as much spit as you can before you hovered over his cock, letting it dangle out of your mouth before it completely covers the tip.

“That’s it, good fucking girl. You’re doing so good f’me already.”

You watch as he takes your spit and uses it to slide all the way down his length. The sounds he was making were downright evil, and your pussy was aching with want. You wanted his fingers inside you so bad, but he was currently occupied. He was big enough that even three hands wouldn’t cover all of him, so he was going at it with both hands now.

As if he could read your mind, he spits out, “touch yourself for me, doll. Show me what you were doin’ before I interrupted, hmm?”

He had to be joking. You were already embarrassed enough after he caught you in the act, but now he wants you to reenact it? You were desperate for anything at this point, but couldn’t he just do it for you?

“But, t-toji-“ you whine.

“Don’t but me. I know you want to sweetheart. Now don’t make me ask again.”

You don’t even respond, instead reaching your hand down and to start rubbing little circles on the outside of your bikini bottoms. You let a moan slip past your lips. You didn’t realize how badly you needed this until now.

“Girl, if I wanted to watch some soft core I would. Take that little number off so you can really feel it, yeah?”

“A-are you sure?”

“What do you think?”

He releases his dick from his vice grip to help you undress. He undoes the bow behind your back, then he unties the sides of your bikini bottoms. He comments under his breath at how easy it would be for him to sneak up behind you and untie your bottoms so he could fuck you by the pool, as a breathy moan leaves both of your throats. He rips both of the pieces off in a flash before they were discarded to the floor. You suddenly felt so barren in front of him, being that he was still nearly fully clothed.

“Goddamn, if I would have known what you looked like underneath I would have walked in on you a long time ago. You know I’ve heard you doing it before right? I’d just listen then go take care of myself later. Wouldn’t want to ruin my special girl too soon, now would I?” He asks as e grabs a handful of your plump tit and kneads it in his hand.

You feel your neck turned red as you watch him eye you up and down. He reaches forward and starts to suck on your nipple, making you moan above him. He’s stopped stroking himself at this point, instead wrapping his hand around the base of his cock to keep from cumming. I mean he hadn’t got laid in a while, but shit. This was getting ridiculous. He jerked off plenty, but something about seeing your pale, soft skin all bare for him was making his stomach do flips. Your fat tits, your sinful hips, and god your fucking pussy. It was so plump and wet, it was practically begging for his cock. He needed to fucking ruin you.

His words went right to your pussy, and you continued to touch yourself without instruction. At this point, you were too desperate to care about embarrassing yourself. If he wasn’t going to make you cum, you were going to on your own.

You didn’t even need to lick your fingers before you continued toying with your clit. Given that the masturbation session turned into an impromptu mutual masturbation session, your pussy had been wet for god knows how long now. You were chasing your climax at a rapid pace, but you couldn’t quite tip over the edge. Maybe it was the position, or the previous embarrassment. But regardless, you couldn’t think about cumming without Toji’s fingers deep inside you.

“T-Toji, please. Need.. h-help”

“T-Toji, pwease!” He mocks, causing you to stop your movements.

“I want you Toji, pretty please?”

“What is it that at you want, huh?”

Is he really going to make you spell it out for him?

“I want you, I-I need you to make me cum, p-please Toji, fuck”

How could he say no to that?

pt. 4

[animasolaoriginal]

I n f a t u a t e d ♦️THREE

CHAPTER ONE◾TWO THREE FOUR◾FIVE SIX◾SEVEN◾EIGHT◾NINE◾️TEN ELEVEN◾TWELVE◾️THIRTEEN◾FOURTEEN◾FIFTEEN SIXTEEN◾SEVENTEEN◾EIGHTEEN◾NINETEEN◾TWENTY

He finds out the girl he picked up on a whim is the perfect candidate. So innocent, so submissive already, with just the right amount of Daddy issues. But she still has a lot to learn, and he's determined to teach her everything.

ruthless nightclub owner ❌ innocent young woman with a crush

WARNING: NSFW! Explicit sexual content. Age gap. Size difference. Dubcon elements. Dom/sub dynamic. Sex toys. Fingering. Cunnilingus. Orgasm denial. Oral sex/deepthroating. Anal play. Creampies. (For more tags, check it on AO3!) // WORDS: 4.9k

TWO 🟥 THREE 🟥 FOUR

He's surprised how quickly she adjusted to her new surroundings, to the things he's asked of her, forced on her. Maybe she's still feeling the after-effects of the drug he's given her last night, maybe she doesn't understand the situation just yet, maybe she's simply the perfect candidate for this. To stay here, for him. She's barely putting up any fight, only seems embarrassed most of the time, but the way she's sucked him off has shown him how eager she really is.

Even though she still has a long way to go. Too fucking innocent.

She's that little ball of hair and limbs on his lap, curled up, melting into him, small hands that have been around his cock now gripping his shirt. Feet tucked under his thigh, deep little breaths against his chest. It's been only a few hours, and she's already so submissive. He's almost disappointed he didn't get to break her first. But maybe her defiance is yet to come. He's certainly looking forward to it.

His phone chimes on the coffee table, and he throws a quick look at the display. The courier is here. Good. Without a word, he stands, picking her up effortlessly. She hums against him, leans into him as he carries her into the bedroom. When he puts her down on the bed, leaning over her for a moment, he meets her hooded eyes. So pliant, so innocent. He can't help but lean down further to press his lips to hers.

She melts into the mattress as he pushes her deeper, putting his weight on her, elbows on either side of her shoulders as he gives himself a few minutes of a bit more much-needed pleasure before he has to leave her. She's hesitant at first, but as soon as he slips his tongue between her lips, her own jumps into action. A groan escapes him as she kisses him back with more and more confidence. His fingers dig into her hair, their tongues wrestling, his cock stirs back to life against the fabric of his pants.

He leans back abruptly, breathing a little harder, the girl beneath him panting as well, her lips parted and red, glistening. Her eyes on him. “I gotta take care of something,” he tells her quietly. She only blinks. “Be a good girl and wait here for me, okay?” The way her pupils dilate when he calls her that makes his stomach tense up. He's noticed it before, how she reacts to his praise. It's an intoxicating sight.

He crawls off her and stands, looking down at her small frame. White lace was a good choice, accents her innocence perfectly. Those little embroidered flowers barely cover anything, but it's still enough fabric to keep it interesting. She's beautiful, the way she lies in front of him, chest rising and falling, that flutter to her stomach, the little twitch to her thighs as she presses them together and tries to hide her sex. He raises an eyebrow at that.

“While I'm gone,” he says, a smirk growing on his lips, “I have a little task for you.”

He steps towards the nightstand and pulls open the first drawer, randomly picks some of its contents and throws them onto the bed next to her. Her eyes widen when she follows the gesture and stares at the colorful toys. He picks up one of the smaller dildos and braces himself on one arm as he leans over her.

“I want you to be very wet when I come back,” he whispers, gently taking her hand and placing the object onto her small palm. “Understood?”

She still looks at him in shock, and he can already tell she's never used any of the things he's presented her with. Another challenge, another thing he's willing to change. He leans back and looks down at her, head cocked to the side. His eyes narrow slightly when she doesn't reply.

“Understood?” he repeats a little harsher.

A tiny gasp escapes her and she sits up, nodding frantically. “Yes, sir.”

His hand finds her cheek, a gentle caress, thumb running over her bottom lip. He watches her intently. “Good girl.” The shiver that runs through her amuses him immensely. Patting her cheek, he then turns away and leaves her to her own devices.

Returning to his phone, he sends a message to the courier, and minutes later there's a chime on the door. His men are good, and fast, and when he looks through the things in the box that was brought up to his place, he nods in contentment. The things she left in the club, a jacket, a phone, case stuffed with some money, some keys and her ID. He's surprised that she's actually 19, when she looks quite a bit younger. Not that it really matters. His eyes scan her name, memorizing it. Fits her.

There's a folder tucked into the side, all the information they could gather on her, and the more he reads, the wider his smile gets. She is perfect, a random pick, an instinct, and it has still been the best choice. Alone in the big city. He checks her phone, swipes through pictures and messages. There's only one new message, someone congratulating her. Not many social contacts, no Mom or Dad or other relatives. Does explain a few things though. The girl definitely lacked the presence of a proper authority figure in her life, or at least someone who could give her the attention she needs, someone to hug her even, guide her through life, tell her what's right or wrong. No wonder she's so overwhelmed with his advances, yet strangely compliant at the same time.

Daddy issues.

What a perfect little thing that found her way into his clutches. He turns the phone off and puts it back into the box, then locks it securely in the safe in his office, before he focuses on the bag that came with the delivery. Clothes he ordered for her, more underwear mostly, some dresses, shoes. He doesn't plan to take her out much, not yet, so she won't need too many clothes anyway. They're just an illusion of safety for now, something she feels more comfortable in, before he'll take that away as well.

Grabbing the bag, he returns to the bedroom – and freezes. The bed is empty, except for the array of sex toys on the blanket. Untouched, unmoved. And the girl is gone. Something hot rises inside him, his hand tightens around the straps of the bag. He checks the bathroom, also empty. When he opens the door to his walk-in closet, he hears a soft little gasp, before his eyes move down to the far back where she's curled up on her side, wide eyes staring at him from under her lashes.

Like a beaten animal – and he hasn't even done anything to her yet. Not really, anyway.

He puts the bag down on a shelf and approaches her slowly. The dildo he gave her lies in front of her, just as untouched as the rest. She curls up even more, a little ball of hair and limbs, white lace in stark contrast to the dark rug she's lying on. He crouches down, hands resting on his knees as he watches her.

“What are you doing here, baby?” he asks quietly. “Are you hiding from me?”

She sniffles, shakes her head. “No,” she mumbles, wide eyes following his every move. Why is she so skittish all of a sudden? The drugs probably wore off. Poor thing.

He doesn't care. His hand reaches out and grabs her elbow, pulls her closer. A little yelp escapes her. He sits down on the floor and pulls her between his legs, she struggles against him but his fingers close around her arm, squeezing harder than he intended. She winces, a deep shudder rushing through her small body when he drapes her legs over his thigh, making her lean against him. One arm securely around her, holding her with enough authority that she stops squirming, he raises the other hand and grabs her chin, makes her look at him.

“What happened?” he asks, looking at her, scanning her face, fear and shock evident on it.

She averts her eyes, chewing on her lip. He squeezes her chin.

“Look at me.”

She does, with a soft little whine, blinking rapidly, eyes glistening as she meets his gaze. “M'sorry...” she mumbles.

“For what?” His voice is stern, and she frowns at his tone.

“For... for not... doing... what you told me...” she whispers, the first tear falling from her lashes. “I... I couldn't...”

He raises an eyebrow. “Why not?”

Her cheeks are bright red by now, her eyes moving over his face in frantic little flutters. “Felt... wrong...”

He watches her, letting go of her chin to move his hand straight between her legs. She flinches and yelps when his fingertips brush against her panties. The fabric is a little damp, warm against his touch. He doesn't hesitate and slips a finger under the hem, testing the waters. She turns her head away, whining softly as her blush spreads over her shoulders. “Do you need my help?” he whispers.

She only stiffens in his hold as his finger glides along her slit. Warm, wetter than he expected. He doesn't know why she was so stressed about this task or thinking she failed him. She's perfectly responsive. His lips brush against her temple.

“Tell me you need me to help you...” he breathes against her.

Her thighs twitch. “I... I need you to... to help me...” she mumbles out, burying her face in his chest in a little gesture of embarrassment. So fucking cute.

“Good girl,” he hums and kisses her forehead while his finger slips between her folds, gathers her slick and promptly dips into her entrance.

She flinches, but keeps quiet, leaning into him as he nudges her legs apart with his thumb. His finger slips in and out of her, her tight walls gripping him in a way that makes his cock throb. Her wetness gathers around him, quiet squelching sounds filling his ear. She lets out little noises of discomfort, barely-there whines, almost-sobs but in a way that doesn't seem too distressed. She's slowly adjusting, relaxing in his hold, her breaths deeper.

His thumb finds her clit, and when he pushes gently on it, she wails a little louder, her legs trembling, her small hands gripping the front of his shirt as she melts into him more. He keeps drawing tight circles around her nub, his digit pushing deep, in and out, faster, her wetness runs over his hand. The moment she becomes really still, a sharp inhale cutting through the air, he stops, pulls away, and she looks up with her lips parted, almost pouty, eyebrows furrowed, disappointed.

He smirks at her and brings his wet finger to her lips. She doesn't fight it when he slips it into her mouth, rubs it over her tongue and along her gums, pushes deeper. She freezes again, stares at him, but then she closes her lips around his finger and sucks, her tongue flicking around it, licking up her own juices. He pulls it out with a wet pop and leans down, capturing her mouth for a quick, deep kiss, sucking on her tongue, tasting her. She melts into him, clinging to him, but as soon as she starts to relax again, he lets go, leans back, leans around her to grab the dildo still lying behind her on the floor.

“Here,” he says and puts the small pink object into her hand. “If you want to finish it, do it with this.”

She stares at him, eyes wide, fingers curling around the toy, her face flushed. And then she shakes her head, catching him off guard.

“No?” he whispers, raising his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

Her breaths are loud through her nose as she holds his gaze, not saying anything.

He narrows his eyes. His first instinct is to grab the toy and shove it deep into her tight pussy himself, but he refrains, pushes her off his lap and stands, then grabs her wrist and drags her out of the closet. She stumbles after him and yelps when he throws her onto the bed.

Scrambling to her knees, her lips parted and trembling, she stares at him with her eyes wide in shock. He ignores her for now and walks to the bedside table, rummaging through the drawer until he retrieves a little teardrop shaped object, bright pink as well, smooth silicone with a little antenna.

A high-pitched squeal escapes her as he grabs her and pushes her onto her stomach, one large hand on her lower back, holding her down as she starts to squirm. “Stay still or this'll be more uncomfortable than it should be,” he tells her through gritted teeth. She stiffens, her breaths loud and frantic as she white-knuckles the sheets.

He moves the toy between her ass cheeks, pleased to see the butt plug is still in place. Nudging it slightly, he makes her wince. Pushing her legs apart a bit more with his knee, he slides her underwear aside, grabs her thigh to steady her and lets the small vibrator glide between her slick folds, and it's only a little push of his thumb before it slips into her, swallowed up by the tense muscles of her pussy. She lets out a strained whine. He wipes his palm over her mound gently, then tugs on the fat string until he finds the thicker bit at the end. The button clicks audibly when he presses it, and she gasps when the first vibrations shake her body. It's low, but still definitely overwhelming for her.

He puts her thong back in place and grabs her elbow, dragging her off the bed. Her legs are trembling, the low hum between her twitching thighs barely audible, but he hears it, sees her reaction to it, feels his blood pumping into his cock, the throbbing almost painful, and he wonders why he's taking his time with her. He could have had her last night, this morning, any time he wanted, fucked her hard and mercilessly, any hole he desired, and yet he waits, eases her into it, with a patience (or restraint) that surprises himself.

Sighing loudly, he grabs her hand and leads her out of the bedroom, she follows him on shaking limbs, too stunned to protest now. They reach the open kitchen, and he grabs her waist and sets her on the island, hears the faint clanging noise when the base of her plug hits the marble top. Spreading her legs, he steps between them, braces one arm on either side of her, stares down at her darkly.

Her eyes are wide, glistening, shock and uncertainty on her face, but there's also a deep blush and a tightness to her lips as she fights the sensations pulsing through her small body. Her hands fidget between her legs, a nervous little gesture. He rips them away, tells her to sit on them. She does with a bit of hesitation as she watches him with bated breath. He leans in, lets his breath fan over her cheek, then kisses the corner of her mouth, and there's a jerk in her neck as she turns her head, trying to meet his lips.

He pulls away before that, exhaling through his nose. His hands move over her legs, thumbs brushing along her inner thighs until he pushes them against the damp fabric of her underwear. Her wetness seeps past it already, staining the white satin bit, and he licks his lips at the sight. His restraint is slipping, he can't help it, he can smell her arousal, and it's driving him insane.

In one swift motion he grabs her hip, pulls her to the edge and leans down to press his mouth to her inner thigh, quickly kissing up the soft skin to where the little pink antenna pokes out of her. His free hand tugs at it, then he drags her panties aside and closes his lips around her folds. She yelps softly, body jerking against him. His fingers dig into her flesh, hold her in place as he laps up along her slit, gathers her sweet wetness on his tongue, drinks her up like a man parched.

She whimpers when he sucks on her clit, teeth grazing her soft, sensitive skin while he fumbles with the toy and presses the button a few more times, feeling the vibrations increasing, her hips jerking, thighs pressing against his head. Her noises are getting louder, helpless whines and mewls as she squirms on the counter, hands still squished under her legs while he continues to eat her out with a passion that he hasn't felt in ages.

Holding her with one hand, he tries to counteract her uncontrollable twitches, while his other hand rubs over her thigh before his index finger pokes at her entrance, following the toy inside. It's thrumming hard against her tense muscles, and he pushes it around a little with his finger before he finds the right spot, and that's when she really wails, body spasming against him, the heels of her feet thudding loudly into the cabinet as she tries to ground herself somehow.

He holds the toy pressed to her g-spot, still sucking on her clit, eyes moving up to watch her lose it in front of him. She's arching her back, head tilted upwards, chest pushed out, arms trembling before she can't keep her composure any longer and pulls her hands from under her legs and grabs his hair, two sets of small fingers with an iron grip that surprises him. Either to push him away or hold him right there, he isn't sure. Whatever the case, he lets her, gives her that one moment of control.

Her walls tighten around the toy and his finger, rhythmic clenching, her orgasm is so close, she's right on the edge, and it's that moment that he hooks his finger around the toy and pulls it out, leaning back, slipping from her suddenly limp fingers, and leaves her throbbing and panting, watches her deflate as her orgasm slips away again. A whine escapes her, and she falls backwards onto the counter, body convulsing without release, hiding her flushed face behind her shaking hands.

He straightens himself, licks his lips and then his finger, puts the vibrating toy on the counter before he turns it off. She's sobbing now, overwhelmed and left hanging. Poor thing. But it's not over yet.

Hooking his hands under her arms, he hoists her off the counter and pushes her down on her knees in front of him. She's too surprised to react, slowly lowers her hands and looks up at him, tears streaming down her red cheeks. Without a word or command, he unbuckles his belt and opens his pants, then snaps his fingers at her. Despite her trembling state, she follows the order instantly, automatically, that inborn desire to please stirring within her, when her small hands move up to push his pants and underwear down enough to free his erection.

The initial touch is almost enough to push him to the edge and over, but he braces himself, puts his hands on his hips and watches her as she closes her fingers around his length, slowly stroking up and down like he's shown her. Her eyes stay on him, watching him closely, and he tilts his head, pressing his lips into a thin line, a slight furrow between his eyebrows. He sees her swallowing, and barely a second later, her lips brush against his hot skin, the contact enough to coax a little groan out of him.

He watches her closely as she moves her lips up and down his shaft, tongue licking along his bulging veins, circling his tip, flicking over his slit, before she opens her mouth and takes him deeper. She's a little hesitant, careful, one hand still on his girth, the other braced against his thigh as she slowly bobs her head, lips closed around his tip, cheeks hollowed, the little suction really tempting his self-control. He wants her to find her own pace, get better on her own, learn to pleasure him properly, but he also really wants to fuck her throat and make her choke on his cock. The struggle is real.

His hands move to her head, a gentle little caress, fingers sliding through her hair, slowly nudging her closer, she shifts on her knees, the hand on his thigh pulling her into him. Her eyes are closed now, and he can see tears forming under her lashes as she keeps moving her head back and forth, the hand that's tight around his girth keeping her from taking him deeper. He feels her warm mouth, that little tongue flicking around his tip, hot and wet, sucking softly, almost meditatively, and he can't help it, he bucks his hips slightly against her, his cockhead poking into her cheek when she turns her head with a little muffled whine.

One of his hands moves down to grab her chin, holding her in place, head slightly tilted, as he repeats the same motion, pushing into her mouth, watching her cheek bulge. He hasn't noticed it before, but she's a natural at keeping her teeth out of the way, her jaw opened wide enough to allow him to slip in and out fairly easily. Her eyelids flutter open, and she meets his gaze, her eyes glistening, pupils dilated more than he has expected. She's enjoying this, huh?

He smirks at her, moves her head a little and tilts her chin up before he pumps his hips a little harder against her, more of his cock slipping into her small mouth. She stiffens, both hands now gripping the fabric of his pants, bracing, a sliver of panic in her eyes. He watches her closely, the grip on her chin hard as he concentrates, holds back, fights the urge to just fuck her cute little face. His breaths are quick and loud through his nose.

She holds still, doesn't fight it, and he uses that submission to move faster and eventually slips deeper, feeling his tip prodding the back of her throat. She gags almost immediately, a sudden reflex, her body convulsing against him, fingers digging into his legs, and he lets her pull back with a deep cough, saliva dripping from her lips. But he only lets her relax for so long, before he pushes his cock back into her mouth, deeper, to that spot once more, and she gags again, spit filling her mouth, coating his tip, yet this time he holds her head in place, and she lets out a pained little howl, muffled but clearly distressed.

Sighing, he grips her hair and pulls her back again, lets her catch her breath, swallow the excess spit. Tears stream down her face, her eyes are red, eyebrows furrowed, a helpless expression mixed with something like indignation looking up at him. A low laugh escapes him, and he grips her chin and pulls her back, cock slipping into her mouth, her tongue scraping along the underside, frantic little breaths through her nose, warm on his skin.

“Relax,” he tells her, and strangely enough it's that command that lets him slip deeper, past her gag reflex, further into her tight throat. It's only a few seconds though before she gags yet again, fingernails sinking into his legs, that little uncontrollable twitch as her body fights the new sensation of having her throat stuffed. She gurgles, desperate to breathe, too panicked to relax anymore. He pushes her away, and she splutters, spit and precum flying from her trembling lips, her shoulders shaking.

It takes all of him to loosen his grip on her, but when he lets go of her chin and her hair, inhaling deeply, she looks up almost surprised. Bracing his arms on the counter behind her, he closes his eyes, fighting the urge to make her choke again. That feeling when her throat tenses around his tip, squeezes him, it's something he enjoys a little too much, almost as much as watching her suffer through it, with her tears streaming down her face and her hands digging into his legs, that desperate struggle for control.

He'll force that urge right out of her, soon. Another time.

“Suck,” he grunts instead, standing still as he leans over her.

She resumes her ministrations, one hand around his girth, pumping and stroking, while she closes her lips around his tip again, sucking and licking it, keeping it far away from the back of her throat. She's shaky and sloppy, her wet slurping noises echoing through the room, her body still trembling, but she somehow manages to bring him right to the edge after all. He feels his balls tightening, his stomach tensing up, his cock throbbing in her hold. His hands itch, clenched into fists on the counter, his body shivering. So close. So fucking close...

A deep groan escapes his throat, and he leans back abruptly, grips her hair and pulls her off him, a sharp inhale coming from the girl beneath him. Her eyes are wide as she looks up at him, and he just ignores her, hooks his hands around her elbows and pulls her to her feet. She's that tiny body he can manhandle however he wants, and she ends up on her stomach on the counter, short legs dangling off the edge, feet kicking before he cages her in, one hand on her lower back, the other moving straight to the little shiny knob sitting between her plump ass cheeks.

Before she can comprehend what's happening or try to fight him, he drags her panties aside and pulls the plug out with a plop, puts it on the counter with a clang, before he grips his throbbing cock and pushes the tip against her sphincter. She lets out a surprised wail, her hands reaching back to swat him away, but he only grabs them and bends her arms behind her back, held by one large hand. She still struggles as he pushes further, forcing his tip deeper. He doesn't have time to prepare her properly, he's close to exploding.

She whines, writhing on the counter despite his unrelenting hold, and he watches her tight muscles give way to him, the grip almost as good as her tensing throat. His crown slips in, and he stops, letting it rest there as he strokes his shaft hard and fast, until he feels that tension finally dissolve. He comes with a deep grunt, arching his head back, feeling his cock throb and twitch in his hand and in her ass.

Spurt after spurt shoots into her tightness, filling her up until the first drops seep past the tight ring of muscles that clench around him involuntarily as she squirms helplessly, sobbing softly. When he relaxes against her, shoulders sagging, the grip on her arms loosening, he wishes he'd prepared her better, made her more pliant, open her up properly to take more of him. But this'll do for now. Once the twitching subsides, he gently pulls his cock out, watching her ass gape for a moment, his thick seed slipping out almost immediately.

He pushes it back in, feeling her tense muscles close around his finger. Then he grabs the plug and brings it back into position, holding her down again as she starts squirming more, the cold metal slipping into place, plugging up his warm cum. He exhales deeply once he is done, and when he lets go of her and steps back, he can't help but slap her plump cheek once for good measure.

She sobs louder, but remains lying on her stomach, legs dangling off the edge, immobile, all the fight gone from her body. He watches her as he puts his spent dick back into his pants. “What a good girl you are,” he whispers, noticing a wave of goosebumps rippling over her skin. His hands are on her round rear, gently sliding up and down, thumbs teasing between the cheeks. He fixes her thong, nudges the plug, smirks when she flinches at the motion.

Then he grabs her waist and pulls her off the counter, turning her so he can scoop her up into his arms. Despite her reluctance and the fact that she's still crying softly, she leans against him, needy little fingers digging into the collar of his shirt. No matter how hard she fights him, fights the sensations and experiences he gives her, she is clearly craving this, his attention, the care he gives her afterwards, the gentle moments after however rough he treats her.

It's a good dynamic. It'll work, he's sure. She will be absolutely perfect.

He carries her into the bedroom, carefully putting her down on the bed. She immediately rolls onto her side, knees pulled up to her chest, wiping at her wet face, avoiding his gaze as he watches her closely. When he leans down, she flinches, but he only grabs the edge of the blanket and drapes it over her small body.

“Rest now,” he tells her, straightening back up. “I'll order us some food.”

TWO 🟥 THREE 🟥 FOUR

End notes: Just a little side note on where this story is set: it could be literally anywhere (where there are skycrapers or a downtown area with taller buildings). I did not have a specific place in mind, could be any major American city, could be a bigger European city, anywhere you like to think of. It doesn't really matter anyway. (And if it is set in America, just imagine his club to be one of those more lax ones where the drinking age isn't 21 or at least nobody cares about it.)

Also, you may have guessed it, but our male protagonist is a little bit more than just a nightclub owner. I won't go into too many details, just know he's influencial, if you'd like to call it that. And definitely intimidating enough for anyone to bow before him, not just our poor girl who might just be a little in over her head at this point.

Thank you for reading! Next chapter on Monday!

TAG LIST: @qmsvpx @cyan1decandy @bimbos-are-angels

AO3 / / / MASTERLIST

CHAPTER / / / ONE◾TWO◾THREE◾FOUR◾FIVE◾

SIX◾SEVEN◾EIGHT◾NINE◾️TEN

ELEVEN TWELVE◾️THIRTEEN◾FOURTEEN◾FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN◾SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN◾NINETEEN◾TWENTY

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 2

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: I was kinda putting off writing this chapter because I was forced to write a scene I don't like to relive lol. But anyway, it's here, and I hope you like it. <3

Masterlist | Read ch 1 here

When you lost Loki, you didn't have time to grieve. The whole universe was being threatened, there was no time for tears.

It all had happened so fast. One minute Loki stood between you and Thanos, his hand holding yours and keeping you away from harm; and the next, Thor was dragging you away from the body of the person you loved the most, while you screamed until your throat burned.

And then you lost, again; half of the universe turned to dust. It was only one year later that a strange man came knocking at the compound's door with a solution, a hope. But not for you. After all, Loki wasn't one of the blipped ones, though a part of you wished he had been.

In the end, you won the war, and you brought everyone back; but you lost a piece of yourself.

You felt numb, hollow. Now, looking down at your hands, under the cold running water of the bathroom sink, you could see red even when it wasn't there. It stuck on your skin and under your fingernails. For the tenth time this week, you felt as if there were cotton balls in your throat and you couldn't breathe.

The sight was burned into the back of your mind, returning each night to haunt your nightmares. His bloodshot eyes, bright yet so lifeless; his hand still outstretched on the grounds of New Asgard when he'd last reached for you; dried tear tracks on his cheeks when he realized the inevitable; the crimson red blood dripping from his nose and mouth. That was the last image you had of your Loki, as you screamed—you couldn't even recall what exactly you had been screaming—and thrashed against Thor's strong hold on your body, dragging you away so you wouldn't meet the same fate.

You splashed water onto your face, making it hide your tears even though you could still taste the salt in between your sobs.

It's been over a year, and the pain has yet to subside. You've been living on autopilot since the last battle, helping rebuild and only eating enough to keep you going, barely speaking to anyone. There was a hole in your chest that you couldn't fill, a part of your heart that stopped beating the same day that his did. The year following The Snap had gone by in a blur, with everyone working incessantly trying to find a way to undo what happened, and part of you had a hope that you'd be able to bring Loki back as well; but when the solution was found, and he didn't come back, that last bit of hope was snuffed out like a candle, leaving you in the darkness.

People would look at you funny when you walked the hallways of the Avengers compound, you didn't know if it was because of the evident scar running from your forehead to the beginning of your left eyebrow, or because of the dark circles under your eyes.

You finally reached the kitchen and grabbed a mug with a sigh going past your lips. Steadily, you poured yourself some black coffee. Was it your second, or third mug of the day? You weren't sure.

"You drink a few more of those, it'll soon be running through your veins."

Thor's voice made you close your eyes, your back still turned to him. Despite loving the guy, you really didn't feel like talking right now. You brought the mug to your lips and took a generous sip before facing him.

"Here's hoping." You tried smiling, but it came more like a grimace.

A strong hand found your shoulder and squeezed. "Tony says he's worried about you... everyone is," Thor said quietly, trying to catch a glimpse of your eyes with his own.

You bit onto your lower lip, nearly drawing blood. When you looked up at Thor, you could see a reflection of your own pain in his kind eyes. "I just wish I could see him again. Just one last time." You shrugged weakly, watching as your vision turned blurry yet again.

In the same beat, Thor pulled you to him. His chin came to rest on top of your head as he hugged you tightly. "Yeah, me too," he whispered. "Me too."

It was on this same night that you woke up yet again covered in cold sweat and with a scream lingering on your tongue. Each beating of your heart against your ribs was a punch. The last image you had of him burned behind your eyes.

You got up and walked to your bedroom door, hands shaking when you turned the knob and when you filled a glass with water.

When you lost Loki, there was no time for a goodbye, there was no time for you to lay a last kiss on his forehead and promise to find him again in another lifetime. He was taken from you—abruptly, and without remorse—leaving behind a gash on your heart; an open wound that still bled.

Maybe that's why, on this same night, you made your way to Tony's lab, grabbed one of the few remaining pym particles, and pulled yourself through time.

Just one last time. You had to see him just one last time. You had to say goodbye, and make a promise.

The TVA found you before you found Loki. You never got back to your timeline.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 3 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

You do not have permission to repost, copy, or translate my works on any platforms (even with credit), please respect.

Loki’s taglist: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @justaproudslytherpuff @justanotherkpopstanlol @chronicallybubbly @chaoticqueen33 @7minutes-tomidnight @uncle-eggy @oliviaewl @dd122004dd @tani725 @lokihaha34 @levanneisdumb @innebulae @mochminnie @mayemperess @alyeskathewave @buginktsworld @cremebruleequeen @wyvernthekriger @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @avengersfan25 @mischief2sarawr @yokolesbianism @arunabrak @athenasproverbs @h-l-vlovesvintage

[daryltwdixon]

The Ruins of Us: Chapter 1

Summary: You’re deep in the woods, hungry and focused on survival, when a familiar face from your past appears, gruff as ever, crossbow in hand. After an uneasy reunion, he lets you follow him back to his camp. Memories of shared moments—summer days by the lake and clumsy hunting lessons—surface as you fall into step behind him, feeling a hint of the ease you once had. 

Notes: If you're rereading, you might notice some changes in the passages, dialogue, etc. I was posting my first draft and have learned a lot since then! So now I'm just going back and editing where I see fit :) enjoy!!

There was nothing quite like the feeling of true hunger.

Your stomach growls and you feel like your intestines are being squeezed by a phantom hand in your gut. You’ve gotten used to the sound by now, and it does nothing to distract you from the snare you’re putting together. Soon . God, it had been a long time since you last thought about the scarcity of food and water. At least you learned how to somewhat fend for yourself in the wilderness growing up. Not that you had the same supplies you’d typically have for camping like this. If only you’d thought to grab actual necessities when you left your apartment the day the world ended. But no, you didn’t think you’d be in the middle of the Georgia heat, deep in the woods, surviving off canned stolen food from houses and the rodents you could catch in tiny snares. You thought maybe by now you’d find a group. But your family was gone by now, probably dead knowing your drunk mother. You hadn’t seen anyone that day, just bolted with a backpack into the woods when you were caught in the never ending traffic on interstate 85. You tried to go home, you really did. To see if anyone was still there that needed you. To make sure your friends were alive. But the bombing in the city and the dead crawling the streets made you have to make a very quick decision that day. So here you are. In the woods. Alone. Stomach growling and tying a snare for what you hope will be a nice rabbit for dinner.

A snap of a twig nearby makes your head jerk up and out of your mindless thoughts. You’re under just enough cover to be hidden by the figure lurking through the woods quietly. But you sigh in relief as its hooves come into sight and you see it's just a deer. As much as it’s a relief to see an animal, you can't help but feel a twinge of annoyance that you wish you could at least hunt the damn thing. The only weapon you have is the stupid kitchen knife you stole from the house you raided a few days ago. You’d finished off the can of corn kernels immediately and out of excitement slashed your hand on the lid when trying to pry it open. Just the reminder makes your hand hurt and you look down at the nastily bandaged thing. You had used your own shirt to wrap it and god knows how long it’s been since that was cleaned. Looking back up at the deer peacefully grazing, your stomach churns. Not sure if it’s from the gruesome look of your hand or out of pure hunger. What you wouldn’t do for a good ol’ gun at the moment. But you also know a gun wouldn’t do you any good when you were alone in the woods. The dead could be anywhere, and even though the sound would bounce off the canyons surrounding the valley you traveled up into, anything close by would know where it came from. You continue tying the snare in your hands, cursing under your breath when the shoelace you have breaks apart in your hands. But then you and the deer snap your heads up suddenly at the sound of snarling coming from your left. You see the dead corpse making its way lazily into the clearing, tripping over its own feet. You glance between the it and the deer, wondering why the deer hasn’t made any move to leave. 

Go , you urge in your head, go before it’s too late. 

The deer is frozen in place, ears pinned forward, tail still as it stares down the corpse coming in closer. 

Come on , you urge louder inwardly, balling your fists up. You’re still well hidden in the brush for the dead guy to see you and you feel for this poor deer. But if you were to get up and scare the deer into running, you’d be seen by the corpse. If you went after the corpse, your potential meal would leave. Not that you even have the confidence you’d ever catch the thing let alone be able to kill it. 

The dead guy is a foot from the deer and your mind is made up in an instant. You stand suddenly, raising your knife and making the lunge for the biting dead thing. As you shove yourself towards it however, something comes flying through the air, grazing your cheek. You fall to the side, and the deer makes a break for it. The biter (yes, you've just now decided on this nickname for it) is on the ground, motionless with an arrow in the side of its head.

“Dammit!” Comes a gruff voice in the woods. You turn and heave yourself onto your palms as you sit back on the grass, holding your knees up to protect yourself while on the ground. You’re working on getting yourself up when a man comes out of the brush with a crossbow in hand. 

“I’ve been trackin’ that damn deer fer miles,” he snaps, “what’ja do that for?” he swings his arms in annoyance, including the one with a loaded crossbow. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest and feels like it’s in your throat after the adrenaline rush you just had. He grabs the arrow that’s sticking out of the biter’s head and puts it back in his bow. You hold your breath. You recognize the light brown hair and his gravely, angry voice. You just can’t be sure, you don’t want to get your hopes up. For now, you’re quiet, waiting for his next move. While knowing damn well he’s going to point that crossbow at you next.

Sure enough, when he’s satisfied his arrows are back in place, he turns abruptly on you with it held up at you. You manage a gasp when you get a flash of his face before the crossbow is shielding the rest. He hesitates, and lowers the crossbow from its aim on you. 

Daryl Dixon is staring you down in the clearing.

“What the–” he starts, and you’re lost for words yourself.

“I–I” you stutter, your breath finally coming back to you in gulps. Daryl stomps over and reaches his arm out, grabbing under your upper arm to hoist you up. He releases you once you’re on your feet and backs up a few steps.

“Y/N?” he whispers. 

x Flashback x

“Daryl, what the hell!” you exclaim, but your voice is high and you're laughing as he pulls up to your house. He’s got a shit eating grin on his face, in a junked up old truck, hanging his arm out of the driver’s side door. 

“C’mon” he waves, “Merle’s finally out of the house and we can go out to the lake” he reaches behind him “and I’ve got the goods” he shakes a bottle of vodka out the window to show you. 

You’re running up to the old dingy thing, hands in the passenger seat window that’s rolled down.

“Where the hell did you get this?” You squint up at the ceiling, noticing the torn fabric and faint cigarette burns, the floor littered with crumpled wrappers and old butts. But Daryl is still grinning like an idiot at you.

“Merle left it at the house after he took it from some guy yesterday. Get in!” he reaches over, opening the passenger door for you. 

You slide into the seat without hesitation, the warm leather sticking to your thighs as you slam the door shut. Daryl immediately reverses, throwing you a daring glance as he swings the truck onto the streets of Atlanta. The wind whips through the open windows, carrying your laughter into the muggy summer air.

When you arrive, Daryl pulls up to a dirt patch, tires crunching over gravel. You hop out, clutching the bottle of Tito’s, and head toward the water. Daryl’s close behind, cigarette pack and lighter in hand. You take a swig straight from the bottle, savoring the sharp burn before handing it to him. Just as he grabs it, you start peeling off your shirt, then your worn jean shorts. You glance at him, and his eyes are on you as he purses his lips on the bottle. You retreat to the water in your underwear and bra, eager to finally cool off from the summer heat. You just barely get a glimpse of Daryl shaking his head while he strips down to his boxers and follows you in. 

Hours slip by as you splash around, laughing, and tossing back swigs of vodka between lazy swims and shared cigarettes. The buzz settles over you like a warm haze, wrapping you in that carefree summer feeling. Eventually, you both drift to the shore, spreading your clothes out as makeshift pillows, staring up at the trees, watching as the sun filters through the leaves.

“Got any summer internships lined up?” you ask him, your arm laying across your forehead to shade your eyes as you take in the glimmering sun between the leaves above.

“Pfft” he quietly scoffs, “yeah, right. Merle’d never let me hear the end of that one”

You glance over, taking in his profile—the sharp line of his jaw, the scruff just starting to come in around his chin. There’s something different about him, something rougher, older. His eyes were narrowed, brows furrowed together. It’s crazy that you’d known him and his older brother since you were just kids, and that you’ve watched each other grow up into…adults? You were both just barely 18 now.

After a long silence, he speaks again, his voice low and thoughtful. “We should jus’ get outta here.” His gaze is fixed upward, his tone serious in a way that makes you pause. He takes another drag of his cigarette, then glances over, his eyes searching yours for something.

“Where would we go?” you tease, turning to face him fully, head propped up on one hand. You try to keep it light, but there’s a flicker of curiosity, of temptation. Could he really be serious?

“Dunno,” he mutters, looking away, almost embarrassed. “California…or New York. Anywhere but here.” His voice is quiet, almost wistful, like he’s daring to imagine something bigger than the life he’s always known.

“But wouldn’t you miss dear old bro?” You smirk, rolling onto your stomach, close enough now that your arms are touching. He gives you a sidelong glance, a faint smirk pulling at his lips.

“Merle’d barely know I was gone”

“Now we both know that’s not true,” you say, poking his arm playfully. “That man would hunt you down to the ends of the earth if you just up and left.” You laugh, but there’s a pang of truth beneath it; you know as well as Daryl does that he’s bound to his brother, whether he wants to be or not.

He rolls his eyes, flicking your arm in return. “You’re dumb,” he mumbles, still watching you, a hint of something unreadable in his gaze.

“But you love me,” you tease, grinning at him. But then, just for a moment, his expression shifts, something flickering in his eyes that catches you off guard. It’s a look that makes your heart skip, a heavy silence falling over you as you both just…look at each other. Your smirk fades as you get lost in the deep blue of his gaze, his presence so close it feels like the world narrows to just the two of you, lying by the lake, skin warm from the sun, fingers just barely brushing

The moment lingers, thick with something unspoken. Your heart beats faster, a flush creeping into your cheeks, and you don’t know if it’s the vodka or the way his eyes keep holding yours. But then, suddenly, the spell breaks—the buzz of your phone shatters the silence. You snap back, fumbling for it, glancing down to see ten missed calls from your boyfriend.

"Shit," you mutter, the blue of the screen casting against your features.

“Jesus, Y/N, what does the prick want now?”

“I gotta go.” You feel a pang of guilt as you scramble to your feet, pulling your shirt over your head, barely able to meet his eyes. There’s disappointment in his face, though he quickly masks it, leaning back with that blank, almost indifferent look he’s perfected over the years.

He doesn’t say a word as you head back to the truck, but you can feel the weight of his gaze, a quiet understanding passing between you that neither of you knows how to put into words.

x flash forward x

“I left GSU when everything went to shit,” you reply, brushing off your jeans and glancing up at Daryl. “Been out here for weeks. What about you? How’d you end up alone out here?”

“I ain’t alone,” he mutters, adjusting the rope of squirrels draped over his shoulder.

You pause, meeting his eyes. “…Merle?”

He nods, and you exhale in relief. Merle was an asshole—an especially stupid one. But you knew how much he meant to Daryl, and growing up with him had made him feel like a rough, reluctant older brother to you too.

“Where are you guys camped out?” you ask, scanning the tree line.

“Couple miles from here,” he says, not quite looking at you.

He’s so quiet, answering only what you ask. It’s strange; you and Daryl always used to be at ease with each other. Even though GSU wasn’t far, it had been ages since you’d seen him, not since…you shake off the memory, not wanting to ruin the moment. Whatever went down back then didn’t matter now. You’re just glad to see him here, hoping the end of the world might be enough for both of you to move on.

“Do you…” you’re trying to read his anguished expression, “Can I come with you? What’s up?”

He lets out a sigh, shaking his head, “Yeah, yeah, ‘course you can. C’mon” he turns and walks away, kicking the biter as he passes. It’s a long, quiet walk back with Daryl. You trail behind him, head buzzing with questions. Where was he when things went bad? Was Merle with him the whole time? You were grateful to know their pops wouldn’t be with them now. Daryl’s dad had always been mean and angry, taking it out on his boys—and sometimes even on you. And his mom…she was like yours, hooked on the bottle, though she’d died years ago.

Suddenly, Daryl stops, and you stumble forward, bumping into his back. The squirrels brush your arm, making you pull away instinctively. He glances back with a smirk, jerking his head forward—the deer, the same one from the clearing, about twenty feet away, stands still in the clearing. Daryl raises his crossbow silently, and you reach for your kitchen knife, feeling his eyes on you as you do.

“It was the only thing I could grab,” you whisper with a shrug, catching the small grin on his face.

He just shakes his head, still smiling, as he moves forward with the quiet, practiced steps of a tracker. He’d tried teaching you once, back when things were simpler. You’d been clumsy at first, but you’d learned quick, picking up his tricks until you almost matched his silence.

x flashback x

“Shhh!” Daryl hisses from behind you. You’re making your way through the woods, rifle in hand, with Daryl’s crossbow at the ready. He’s pointing out tracks in the dirt, but you just stepped on a rock, sliding noisily over more stones, and a few birds scatter above.

“Could you stop yelling at me? I can't focus!” you whisper back, louder than you meant. He straightens, fixing you with a look.

“You wan’ learn how t’do this or nah?”

You roll your eyes, turning forward again and concentrating on your steps.

After a few more minutes of cautious trekking, Daryl’s hand touches your arm, stopping you. He points to the ground, where the small buck’s tracks press into the dirt. You smile, spotting the deer just ahead, grazing unaware. Daryl quietly lowers his crossbow as you ready the rifle, lifting it over your shoulder. He steps closer, his breath warm against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. His right arm slides beneath yours, steadying the stock, his left hand guiding your fingers on the trigger. Together, he angles the gun toward the buck’s heart.

But your hands are trembling, and before you can steady yourself, tears start slipping down your cheeks. Daryl pulls back slightly as a shaky sob escapes you.

“‘M sorry, Daryl,” you whisper, and the buck’s head snaps in your direction, alert. Daryl stands back, his expression unreadable.

“I just...can’t do it,” you say, dropping the rifle and covering your face, feeling frustrated and exposed. You’d been building up to this moment for days, learning the steps, trying to push yourself.

“Hey, hey,” he murmurs, stepping forward and gently pulling your hands from your face. “S’alright, stop. C’mon, stop.” He holds your gaze, his hands firm on either side of your face. “First time’s always the hardest. S’okay.”

You clutch his arms, leaning into his steady presence as you stifle another sob. He shushes you softly, resting his cheek against yours, then wraps his arms around you in a warm, grounding embrace.

“S’okay,” he whispers into your hair.

x flash forward x

As you follow quietly and closely behind the buck, you take a moment to admire the Daryl you hadn't seen in years. He holds his crossbow with such precision, his biceps curling and flexing as he has it aimed up. The deer is out of sight for you now, making its way ahead, but you know Daryl has his eyes on other clues in the dirt for it. In your hazy thoughts you barely register the yelping sound, but you both make a run for it toward the noise. What surprises you is when you hear someone else ahead–a human voice. 

Many human voices.

Chapter 2 is here

[greenandsorrow]

Morning Wood.

rut!Alastor x gn!reader

☞ I had some leftover smut scenes from the first chapter of "The price for misbehaving" and so, I decided to combine them with a slightly different depiction of Alastor. He's all fuzzy, basically covered in deer fur -anthropomorphic animal vibes and not the cartoonish, bright red guy we all know!

☞ You don't need to have read the actual multi chap in order to enjoy and understand this. However, I did keep the rutting/mating season theme. I love it when fictional men act pathetic -and the fact that I'm the one determining that in my silly, not so little, fics.

☞ Lots of horniness and hormones. Pet names. Masturbation and a blowjob, but make it goofy and playful! The reader is full of sass. Alastor is eepy and needy. Pre-established relationship. You're his mate!

🪻

Alastor is a mess.

A mess of sharp edges.

And antlers.

Antlers that bear little nicks along their edges.

His wiry frame is covered in patches of scruffy fur that cling to his body in a disarray. It's a chaotic blend of rough textures and soft tufts. His chest and arms are a map of scars, faint reminders of a past that seems to be trying to hide beneath some of the fluffiest tufts.

His tail is twitching with restless energy.

Somewhere on the upper floors of the hotel, his bedroom is dimly lit, the only source of illumination coming from the radio dial of a fancy antique. Alastor is sitting perched on the edge of his bed, legs spread wide and claws digging into the mattress beneath him. His chest rises and falls in shallow, uneven breaths.

The air is heavy with the dizzying scent of his rut.

He lets out a low growl, his usual composure cracked by the haze of primal need that's clouding his mind. His cock is already in his hand, long, throbbing and impossibly hard, with veins pulsing. The fur at its base is damp with sweat and precum. His heavy balls are drawn tight against his body.

Alastor squeezes the base of his cock and the sound that escapes him comes out unbidden, raw and guttural. He can feel it... The unbearable heat coursing through him, a wild and instinctual drive he can't suppress.

He pumps his shaft, slowly and deliberately at first, as he tries to maintain an ounce of control. But his rut isn't something he can just ignore... And soon his pace quickens, his hips bucking into his hand.

"F~ fffuck~" he hisses through gritted teeth, his free hand gripping his thigh -in an attempt to not tear the poor bedding. His thoughts are filled with glimpses of you... The way you tease him with that infuriating smirk, the way your hands feel on his chest, your breath ghosting over his neck.

It only makes things worse.

His cock twitches violently in his hand, precum running down the length in sticky lines. His clawed hand grazes the sensitive skin of his cock head just enough to sting, but the pain only spurs him on more.

"Why now?" he growls, his voice gravelly.

His tail thrashes behind him.

Alastor is imagining you beneath him, your hands exploring every inch of his furred body while your voice whispers filthy encouragements in his ear.

The thought alone sends him over the edge. With a strangled cry, his body tenses, his hips jerking forward as his release spills on his hand in thick, hot ropes. His vision blurs for a moment, the intensity of his orgasm leaving him trembling.

The room is now silent, save for the sound of his ragged breathing. Alastor slumps forward, claw still sticky and cock softening slowly. He grimaces, dragging a hand down his flushed face before letting out a defeated sigh.

"Disgraceful" he mutters to himself -though the shame is only fleeting. The rut isn't done with him yet and he knows it's only a matter of time before the unbearable ache returns.

Had you found him like that... What would have happened?

For now, though, he allows himself a moment of tranquility.

You said it'll only be four days... He can go four days without you, right? Pfft. Sure, he can. That was literally day two.

The morning light filters through opac curtains and the hotel fills with the familiar sounds of its guests going about their day.

Alastor stirs on the couch, his lanky frame sprawled across the cushions, tail twitching lazily. He lets out a small groan, rubbing at his chest absentmindedly.

The Radio Demon is practically draped across the couch like he invented the concept of fatigue. His shirt is half-tucked, the fabric wrinkled like he's been sleeping in it for days. His legs dangle off the arm of the sofa, one hoof idly moving to some rhythm only he can hear. His hair sticks out in every direction, defying both gravity and logic.

That's when he feels it.

"Oh, dear" he mutters, blinking, as he shifts his hips and feels the unyielding pressure against the front of his slacks. His cock, half-hard when he fell asleep, is now achingly stiff...

Alastor gives an exasperated sigh, though it is also tinged with some embarrassment. He shifts his long legs awkwardly, but the motion only heightens the friction, earning an involuntary hiss from him.

"Of all the things to wake up to" he says under his breath, voice carrying its usual cadence despite the situation.

One hand is already slithering near his waist before he thinks better of it... But he decides to resist.

It's no use.

His cock throbs, demanding attention, the weight of his balls adding to the torture. Alastor whines softly, while his tail is moving erratically against the cushions of the couch.

That's the sight you walk in on -Alastor spread on the couch, red-faced and visibly aroused, brows furrowed in sleepy distress. You lean against the doorway, taking a moment to soak in the ridiculousness of it all.

"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine." you begin, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I see you've got a… pressing issue in your hands."

Alastor's head snaps up, his wide eyes widening even more. He had forgotten it was today you were coming back.

"Wha-?!", he struggles to sit up.

You toss a pillow at him. He doesn't dodge -it smacks him in the chest and he groans theatrically, clutching it like it has wounded him mortally.

"Careful!" he pouts, half-lidded eyes gazing at you under messy bangs. "I'm already frightfully weak. Don't make it worse."

You rollyour eyes. "You're always weak when you want something, Al. So spit it out. What do you need?"

Alastor stretches, the movement languid and a bit too purposeful as his shirt rides up, exposing his lean, scarred stomach and the dip of his hip bones.

"Well", he drawls in a tone full of fake innocence, "since you're offering…"

He really is weak.... He hates but simultaneously loves how lust dictates his decisions.

His ears flatten against his head, hands moving to shield himself, though it does little to mask the twitching outline beneath the thin fabric of his slacks.

"Relax." you say, stepping closer with an amused smirk. "It's nothing I haven't seen before. Though, I'll admit… you look particularly needy this morning."

"I- I wasn't expecting company s- so soon again..." he stammers, his usual smoothness nowhere to be found as his tail continues to flick nervously behind him.

You raise a brow, letting your gaze drift deliberately downward.

"Clearly. But hey, I'm here now, so why don't I help you… ease into your morning?"

It's obscene, the way his cock is straining against the fabric like it is fighting to break free. The outline is clear -a fat dick, slightly curved and frankly, too big for him to be this embarrassed about it. His trousers don't stand a chance... The poor button at the top looks like it's holding on for dear life.

"Wow" you observe, crossing your arms. "When you called to say you were 'resting', I didn't realize you meant that. I guess you really were up all night."

His lips part in protest, but the words get caught in his throat when you kneel between his legs, smiling up at him.

"Don't act so shocked... You always do that." you tease, dragging your palms up his hairy thighs. "Y'know Alastor, you look like you could use a hand -or a mouth."

"Y- You are positively scandalous" he manages out, though his voice wavers -probably from the excruciating anticipation for your touch.

"Yeah, yeah" you quip, tugging at the waistband of his slacks. "Now shut up and let me work."

He can't help but make a strangled, static-laced whine at your order.

The moment his cock springs free, it hits his stomach with a thud, the thick shaft flushed and throbbing with need. A soft, furry, happy trail goes down till the base -where his balls rest against the couch, each movement causing them to shift enticingly.

You let out a low whistle, leaning in close. "Well, aren't you a pretty buck."

"This whole ordeal is utterly flawed!"

"Oh, I wouldn't use that word. It's more like an opportunity."

Alastor's right ear twitches at that, his breath ragged. "A- An opportunity for what, exactly?"

Grinning wickedly, you answer. "To see just how needy the great Alastor can get."

Alastor freezes... like a deer caught in headlights, the eternal grin faltering. He shifts his limbs, trying to compose himself, but there's no hiding it -there he is, the Radio Demon, infamous and terrifying… now looking like prey that has wandered into a very compromising situation.

And oh, is it compromising.

Your newly acquainted mate's cheeks flush a deeper crimson, his grin stretching unnaturally wide in a desperate attempt to assert himself. "Ah, well, you see- It's not- !"

"Save it. You're not fooling anyone, stag boy. Look at you... All scruffy and needy... Rocking an erection on your favourite vintage couch."

He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I- I assure you, it's entirely… involuntary!"

"Yeah?" you quirk an eyebrow, letting your hand trail up his chest and then back down his stomach, relishing in the feel of his muscles clenching underneath your fingertips.

"Sh- shocking behavior! I- I don't know what you're-"

"Alastor" you cut him off sharply. "Stop talking."

He did.

The trembling demon's shaft isn't just stiff -it's... raging, twitching as if annoyed that it's not already getting attention. And oh, the head. Flushed an angry red, it's bulbous, slick with an impossible amount of precum that's dripping lazily down the sides. It is cartoonishly swollen to say the least.

"Good lord. How can you always wake up like this?"

Alastor squirms, his grin trembling. "I- I am a creature of many talents, my dear!"

His hand grips the armrest of the couch so tightly that the fabric starts to fray.

"Right" you mutter, your fingers finally wrapping around him. The moment you touch him, he lets out a static-filled gasp and the hotel's lights all flicker, his whole body jerking as though he hasn't been touched in centuries. It's been four days.

His cock is hot to the touch. The contrast between the smooth head and the slightly fuzzy base is oddly satisfying under your palm. You give him a little squeeze. He twitches violently in response, tail flicking and ears flattening again.

"Eager, huh?" you tease, stroking slowly. Alastor's sharp teeth clench, his head falling back against the couch as he lets out a broken groan.

"N- nothing like that! I- I'm always prepared!" he babbles, his voice breaking into static again.

"Sure, sure."

That earns you a petulant glare.

The smell of him -something earthy and musky- fills your senses. You let your tongue dart out, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock, slowly, tasting the salty precum that has been pooling at the tip.

Alastor lets out a sound that can only be described as pathetic, his sharp claws scratching the couch (aka the real victim) in a vain attempt to ground himself.

"Prepared?" you mock, your breath falling on his slick glans. "You're shaking like a leaf,u freckled sweetie. I'd say you're anything but prepared."

Alastor whimpers, an uncharacteristic noise for someone so smug. His deer tail is lashing furiously now, the coarse fur of his thighs brushing against you as he shifts in place.

You wrap your lips around him in one swift motion, taking him just far enough to feel the weight of him on your tongue. The ridges along his shaft catch against the wet heat of your mouth as you slide down his length. His claws dig into the couch, again.

He almost chokes... His grown antlers momentarily catch on the backrest. His chest is heaving.

Meanwhile, your lips remain around his hot cock. You hum, the vibration making him jerk so hard he nearly bucks into your mouth. He spills even more precum, coating your tongue.

Pulling back just enough to tease, you let your lips part with a wet pop, his shiny length gleaming.

His ears are still pinned back, his teeth biting into his lip as he struggles -and fails- to suppress a shuddering moan.

You don't wait for him to recover. Instead, you lower your mouth back onto him, taking him even deeper this time. His cock twitches and twitches, the veins pulsing against your tongue as you hollow your cheeks and suck hard.

"Ah- !", static again.

You pause to look up at him, his sweaty and flushed face making you feel oddly proud. Alastor's response to your simple gaze is a little pat on your head. He appreciates what you do, even if it brings him equal amounts of relief and torture.

An incoherent and strangled series of moans leave his open mouth as you work him over with a mix of slow strokes and hard sucks. His legs tense, the fur along his thighs bristling as he teeters on the edge.

"P- Please" he begs, his voice cracking in a way that makes heat pool in your stomach. His usual bravado has vanished completely, leaving him dazed, needy... and utterly at your mercy.

You hum again, the sound sending a shockwave through his body. His cock pulses hard in your mouth and you can feel him getting closer with every ragged breath and broken moan.

You shift your position on the rug slightly, your hand slipping lower to cup his balls. They are heavy and warm in your palm, fuzzy with coarse fur -like the rest of him. You give them a teasing squeeze. Alastor practically yelps, his thighs snapping shut for a moment before falling open again, leaving him vulnerable and exposed to you.

"Sensitive, aren't we?" you comment, rolling them gently between your fingers. His cock twitches violently in response, a bead of precum spilling onto your lips as you kiss the base of his shaft.

Alastor's hands claw at the couch helplessly, his sharp nails ripping the fabric. (🛋️RIP)

"I- I can't take this anymore!", his voice breaks into a high-pitched whine. His antlers clatter against the backrest, as his head tips back, neck taut and exposed.

"Oh, but you can, deer boy" you murmur, your voice sultry. "And you will."

As if spurred by your words, his hips jerk forward, his instincts betraying him. The movement is sudden, sharp and almost frantic, his cock sliding further into your mouth as he begins to rut against your face. His balls slap against your chin with each desperate thrust, their weight a reminder of just how pent-up he truly is when he's in musth.

"G- Goodness gracious, I- ah- oh my~!"

His fur bristles everywhere now -all over his back, his arms and chest- and his ears are spasming.

Static crackles in the air.

You tighten your grip on his base, your free hand moving to steady his hips.

"Easy there, mister buck" you say, pulling back just enough to catch your breath. "Getting ahead of yourself, don't you think?"

"F- forgive me... I really c- can't help it!" he stammers, eyes glazed over with a mix of embarrassment and raw, animalistic need. "You're- you're too good! And frankly, I missed you!"

You chuckle.

Then, you lick a stripe from the base of his cock to the very tip, savoring the way he shudders. "Oh, I know", you say smugly. "Now, be a good little deer and stay still, or I might stop altogether."

The threat makes him whine again, the sound almost pitiful -but he forces himself to stay still. His thighs tremble, the tension in his body visible.

Satisfied with his obedience, you take him back into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his tip before sliding down to the base. His hips twitch despite himself, his cock pulsing hard as you swallow him down.

His breathing grows extremely ragged.

"I- I'm... ah! I'm so close" he chokes out. His balls have drawn up tight against your palm, a telltale sign of his impending orgasm -making you moan around him.

Simply, that's enough.

With a desperate cry, Alastor comes undone, his cock throbbing violently as he spills into your waiting mouth. You swallow it, the salty heat flooding your senses as he slumps against the couch, his body trembling with aftershocks.

When you finally pull back, he is even more of a mess than you found him -his hair disheveled and wet, his chest heaving rapidly and his face flushed with a mix of exertion and satisfaction. You lick your lips, your eyes gleaming with mischief as you look up at him.

"Feeling better, bucko?" you ask, your tone smug but with an undertone of affection.

Alastor's ears rise on top of his head and he gives you a sheepish, toothy smile. "I… suppose you could say that", he admits, still breathless.

You laugh, the sound light.

You stand up and give his lips a peck."Good. You look cute like this... completely wrecked and at my mercy."

"The couch looks worse."

Thank you for reading!🪻

Support me further: ☞ PayPal link

~ My Hazbin Hotel masterlist ~

This work is part of the nymph's daily gifts! 💌

The dividers are by @saradika-graphics.

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[papasbaseball]

The Wizard x Reader (Wonderful Wonderful Girl) | Chapter 3

Pairing: Wizard x F!Reader

Rating: Teen (Rating to Increase)

Warnings: Power Imbalance, Boss/Employee Relationship

Summary: Being a maid in the Royal Palace of Oz is not half so bad. Despite the meager wages, everything else is provided for you for an honest day's work. It can be unnerving working for the most powerful man in Oz, but you are able to avoid him most of the time. This changes during Lurlinemas, your paths soon becoming inextricably intertwined.

Word Count: 2,306 of 7,390

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AO3 Link

Being dealt with consists of yanking me from my bed, having my nightstand ransacked, and being plucked like a chicken down at the most expensive salon in Oz. After thorough torment and torture via wax strips, I get tossed into a room that I have never seen before but was on the same level as the Wizard's apartments. The better to keep an eye on me, I think.

The room is small but fit for perhaps a noblewoman staying a night or two at the palace: plenty fanciful with sage-papered walls but bare enough to discourage overstaying one's welcome. It consists of a small fireplace, a grand wardrobe that almost reaches the ceiling, a brass bed that is twice the width of my old one, and a vanity with a little note on top. I ignore the note, heading for the wardrobe. It's well past noon, and I'm sure there are still chores to be done. As much fun as this little excursion has been, I would like to eat dinner tonight.

The wardrobe pours out a scent of fresh citrus and I have to turn my head as my eyes and lips pucker. As the burst of cleanliness subsides, I go through the wardrobe. There is an embroidered green floor-length dress, some clothes that are suited for summers that are too hot, and some risque lingerie that makes me slam the doors closed with a wooden clatter. This room was meant for a noble lady, but I didn't think that they would have stuck me into one that was already occupied. Obviously, there has been a mistake.

When they had stuffed me in here, they hadn't given me any instructions and refused to answer any of my questions. The only answer I was able to get out of them was “I am not able to share that with you”. I open the door to see if I can find some help and am met with two palace guards who bark some threats that cause me to stumble back into the room. I shut the door again. There's a thick metallic slotting, and when I go to try the handle, it doesn't budge, instead rattling in futility.

My lip curls and I bear my teeth. I have to fight the urge to slam my balled-up fists on the door and scream obscenities, but I know they'd probably just come in and hit me over the head with the end of one of their swords or do something worse to get me to shut up. The Royal Palace guards were not exactly known for their kindness and compassion. I add “intelligence” to their not-list for refusing to even listen to the fact that I am occupying someone else's room.

Making a closer assessment of the space, I look for any potential doors that might have been missed. There is a bathroom door with a peacock carved into it, but nothing else of note. The only other exit is a window. I approach the paned glass, flipping the latch, and am met with a dizzying drop. From up here, the stretched-out cotton balls that make up the clouds wrap around the jeweled spirals of the royal palace like heavenly moss.

"It's a long way down."

I yelp, my palms slipping from the window sill. The fear cuts up through me with the air as I fall, standing all of my hairs straight up. I'm jerked back and I tumble to the floor, scrambling back to the wardrobe as I try to catch my breath. The Wizard is there, standing in front of the window with a barely concealed smile on his face and a glint of amusement in his eyes. I want to scream as anger rips through me. It's not right to feel that way towards our Wonderful ruler, but I can't see what he finds funny about the fact that I almost just died. All I'm able to get out is a strangled cry that sounds nowhere near close to "thank you".

"Were you trying to get some fresh air?" he says, offering me a hand.

I try to still my face as I put my trembling hand in his. "I'm... I'm in the wrong room," I say.

"You were almost on the ground," he says, pulling me to my feet. I find myself way too close to him, too aware of the way the cotton of his shirt is rising and falling with each breath. My brush with death is causing me to lose my head because – even though I know he is all-powerful and a blessing to us all – I feel like the person standing before me is a normal man with a beating heart just like the rest of us lowly citizens of Oz.

I clear my throat, trying to get my voice back to normal. "I was trying to find a way out."

The Wizard laughs at this, deeply and heartily. Despite my trembling, I can't help but let out my own breathy laugh too. It was rather silly to think about escaping out of a window that was closer to the sun than the ground. My hands and arms are slowly getting some of their warmth back in them, only moments ago having felt so numb. I can't help but feel thankful that I can share this laugh with him, and that I am still alive.

Whether from the adrenaline or all of the laughing, my stomach grumbles, reminding me of the pressing issue that is earning my dinner. I'm breathless, but I tell him that I'm in the wrong room, again.

"What?" he says. "Is there something wrong with your room? I had it redecorated." He goes to the wardrobe, smoothing a hand over the glossy oak finish of the doors. "Used to be all cobwebs and dust in here." He swipes at the air as if to bring down one of these supposed cobwebs.

"Your Wonderfulness," I start, "There are some lady's clothes in here. I am sorry to say that I went through them, but I-"

"Did you think that you would find something good to steal?" he says.

My cheeks heat red at the reminder of yesterday. I throw open the wardrobe doors to show him the clothes that someone had obviously left here during their last summer. "See for yourself," I huff.

Those amber eyes lock onto mine, a warning about my tone, but they quickly land on the dresses as he swipes the hangers along the rod. "I don't see anything out of place."

"These are not my clothes," I protest. "How am I supposed to go about cleaning?"

His "Ah" is almost inaudible as he fishes all the way back into the wardrobe and pulls out the sea-green gossamer dress. It looks ridiculous, with great puffs of tulle across the breast and shoulders, the skirt clearly meant for summertime the way I can see through it. I snatch it from him and shove it back into the closet.

"That is someone else's!" I say, feeling guilty that we are still going through the poor woman's clothes.

"No," he says, "that is the price for stealing."

I scrunch my brow together, utterly confused. I did not steal any of the garments. I even showed them to him! They were all here, 100 percent accounted for, and they could be shipped back home to whatever unfortunate countess had left them here and was probably not missing them. And what did I care what they cost?

The recognition on my face as the wheels turn in my head turns his benevolent features into a hellish delight, a grin that seems too sharp, the way he stands a little too comfortably. He takes the dress back out and puts the hanger into my hand. "I almost thought I was going to have to beat some sense into you," he says.

There is a knock at the door. I shove the see-through dress back into the closet just in time for the guards to open the door. It’s Emily on the other side of the threshold.

"Ah, yes!" he says. "Come, come in!" He pushes past me to usher in the unsure girl. I can see that there are charcoal stains on her apron from today's work, her palms ruddy and cracked with a dried trickle of blood creeping up her wrist. My stomach twists in a knot, wondering if I might be able to take the window exit after all. Here I was complaining about everything, but hadn't I been excused from the hard work of washing the floor and changing sheets? Hadn't I been getting primped and preened like a fanciful cockatoo in the finest salon in Oz? Emily seems to have the same idea, her mouth set in a hard line that tells me she is not happy about having to pick up my slack.

"I got you your little friend to help out," he beams, pushing her forward. "Not with your work, of course, but for dressing." He goes back to the closet and pulls out the offensive dress for what seems like the billionth time today. When he's not looking, I think, I'm going to burn it. He hands the wisp of a garment to Emily.

"Our friend here is confused," he tells Emily, "she had a little run-in with the window. Just make sure that she gets dressed. When you're done, set some wood on the hearth for a fire for later."

Emily's face scrunched up at the last part, "Your Wonderfulness, I'm afraid I can’t do that. Receiving has put a limit on firewood for the whole palace. They said something about a shortage? I'm not sure."

His eyes narrow and he knits his brow. He says, "Just get her dressed and bring her to my room when you're done." He leaves the room, checking his pocket watch as he steps out the door.

When the door shuts, any politeness Emily might have had leaves her features. She tosses the dress onto the bed, looking for a zipper. "So how'd you do it?" she bites.

"What?" I ask.

"Did you sleep with him?"

The suggestion knocks the wind out of me and I can't help but scoff for breath.

"Is he any good in bed?" she asks.

"That is our Wizard you are talking about!" I protest in a whisper, afraid that he will hear us if I speak any louder. "I did not sleep with him. I was at the market with you and then-" I stop myself, not wanting to admit that I got arrested for stealing. That would surely go over well with her that somehow I got all of this for trying to shoplift. "and then I ended up here, okay? I don't know."

Emily finds the zipper and slides it down, taking the dress off the hanger. She comes over to me and sneers. "Come on, off with it. Or are you too lazy to undress yourself too?"

I hesitate, but the need to prove that I'm not some layabout wins over any shame I might have at her seeing me naked; we had shared a bed after all and she had seen me dress in the common room before. I pull off the simple but warm shift they had given me at the salon, and she slips the dress over my head. I have to stop myself from running my hands over the airy ruffles and puffs that cover my chest and shoulders. The fabric was softer than any of the sheets I'd ever put on the Wizard's bed, and so light that I wondered if it was woven from the room’s old cobwebs.

"I saw you getting hauled off yesterday. When I came back you were in bed. What happened?" Emily asks again.

"I can't say," I lie. "They told me it was a secret." No, that's not true either. But I can hear his wails so far removed from this little and polite room. The wails of the boy that Emily had pranked and bullied and set up and framed because he was good at his job. I don't know why she did it. We all got paid the same, but if I had to guess, I'd say that she was afraid that he was going to make her look bad. "I don't want to be here," I add as an afterthought.

"Yeah, right," she says, zipping the dress up. I yelp as the zipper pinches a bit of skin on my side. If my arms weren't turning into gooseflesh from the cold, they were now.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" I almost genuinely want to know. Maybe she had some ideas that could get me out of this dress and room, and back into the comfort of my own clothes and our shared bed.

"Try throwing yourself out the window again," she says, hanging the hanger back up. "At least you won't have to worry about anything after you go splat. Try to aim for the officer's balcony. I don't want to be called to scrape up your puffy remains." She flicks a puff on my shoulder to emphasize her point.

I slam the door to the wardrobe and she locks eyes with me. She walks to the door in silence, never breaking eye contact, and quickly knocks on it. "You're not the first dummy to try and sleep her way to head maid," she says. The door opens. "Come on, let's go. I need to take you to his room." I follow after her, the gown doing nothing to protect me from the cold hallways of the palace. "Plus, that dress is offensive to the eyes. I don’t want to look at it any longer than I have to."

[athenaswisdoms]

𝑩𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑻, 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑮

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆

benedict bridgerton fanfiction (more chapters coming soon)

"...and as for Mister Benedict Bridgerton, one cannot be so sure. He has spent the last two seasons focusing on his artistic talents, according to the Viscountess Bridgerton. As the beginning of the season is upon us, there are countless young ladies and anxious mamas on the market for a handsome, and not to mention wealthy, eligible man of status. I will be keen to see if the second-eldest Bridgerton brother will follow in his older brother's footsteps of marriage. Dear reader, you shall be hearing from me."

I roll my eyes, tossing the most recent issue of Lady Whistledown onto the sofa beside me. I knew it was a waste of time, but I'd rather read it than allow my anxiety over the coming evening's ball to come to the surface.

Tonight was Lady Danbury's annual Four Seasons Ball; the first of the season. Not to mention that this was my debut into the eyes of the public in hopes to find a husband. At least that's what my mama liked to say. I more thought of it as a missed opportunity. A failure to indulge in an education and adventure. As much as my parents denied it, the search for marriage was an auction, and I was about to be led by the neck right into the ring.

Still lost in my worries, my maid, Clara, opened the door to the drawing room, startling me slightly.

"Sorry, Miss. I didn't mean to disturb you," she said formally, "but we must start preparing you for the ball."

I walked towards the door, sighing just quietly enough so that my father, looking over his business papers, wouldn't notice my dread. As soon as the door shut behind us, I looked to Clara and swore under my breath.

"My goodness, get that language out now because you'll need to be on your most 'ladylike' behavior for tonight," Clara joked.

Clara was just a few years older than I and we had developed a closer bond than my parents were aware of, and she had been consistently reassuring me for weeks that everything would be fine and to look for the positives. As much as I tried, all I could see was Clara striving to live vicariously through me, as I know all she had ever wanted was to fall in love. If we could switch places, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

After slipping on my gown overtop the numerous undergarments of frills and laces, I sat down in front of my vanity as Clara began on my hair.

"Love, once you arrive and get through the first dance you will feel much more comfortable. I assure you that all of the other young ladies are just as nervous," Clara comforted, " - and I'm sure some of the men are too."

I laughed, "I know, but I wish my mama and papa would've waited another year for my debut. I know that they support my studies and yearning for adventure, but I can't see why I must do this now."

"They only care for you and want the best life for you. I'm sure there's a man out there that will support your desires."

I shook my head slightly, thinking about the housewife I would be destined to become through the values of the men I know of.

"In our dreams, Clara."

. . .

The constant bumps of the carriage were the only thing keeping me steadily awake on the way to the ball. A coachman assisted me down the steps and I was forced to take it all in - the arched doorways underneath pillars atop a grand balcony, patios on either side, and tall windows that allowed light from inside to peek out from between the curtains.

The inside was stunning. Decorated to perfection with cascading carnations and crystal champagne glasses that reflect the candle light to allow the drink an even more golden essence. Priceless diamonds were cast upon the collarbones of young ladies, sparkling almost as much as their excited expressions. A shudder of hope ran through me, but only for a moment. Until the ribbon of a dance card was slipped over my gloved wrist by my mother. I looked down at the empty name slots, already plotting ways to circumvent the inevitable small-talk and stiff dances to come. Before I could become serious about a plan, Lord Clarke began to approach.

Lord Clarke shook my father's hand, then greeted me with a curt bow. I stood still until my mother reminded me to curtsey with a swat on the back of my arm. His name was promptly added to my dance card, reminding me of my previous plotting that I was becoming more serious about by the second. As I scanned the room for unwanted approaching Lords as well as a way out, I noticed the Bridgertons walk in the door to the ballroom. The new Viscountess Kathani Bridgerton on the arm of Anthony, Colin Bridgerton scanning the area, Eloise Bridgerton looking all but disgusted, and Benedict. I had practically forgotten about his presence in the Bridgerton family whatsoever until my Lady Whistledown endeavor this morning. He gave the impression that he preferred being out of the ton's line of sight. He didn't look ill at ease in any way as his other eligible siblings did - but instead, curious. I watched Benedict a moment longer before the orchestra began to play and I realized I must face my most dreaded moment of the last month: dancing.

Being the first name on my dance card, Lorde Clarke approached me once again. It's not that Lord Clarke wasn't a decent man. In fact he was just fine with his wealthy lineage, strong business, and perfectly acceptable character. He just wasn't what I was looking for. In fact I wasn't entirely sure what I was looking for. As soon as the dance began, I had suddenly forgotten my last five years of dance lessons; stepping on toes, falling out of rhythm, missing cues - it was dreadful. As soon as the dance ended I apologized to Lord Clarke for my clumsiness. Feeling overwhelmed, I scanned for the nearest hallway and hurried in its direction.

The dimly lit hallway was peaceful and quiet aside from the muffled music and chatter from the ballroom. I plopped down on the floor anything but gracefully, crossing my legs underneath my dress. I allowed myself a few deep breaths as I craned my neck to stare up at the patterned ceiling, counting the grooves of the decoration. The sound of footsteps broke my concentration and I attempted to pick myself up from the floor unnoticed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," a voice started. "No need to get up."

My gaze pierced through the soft lighting and into a pair of apologetic green eyes.

Benedict Bridgerton.

Despite his insists I still rose to my feet.

"Mister Bridgerton - sorry I-, uhm-," I stuttered.

"No, no. I had no intention of disturbing your peace, Miss... Jackson, yes?" he questioned.

"Yes, that's right. I only needed to get away for a moment," I explained.

Benedict walked towards me.

"I was doing the same. Since my brother, Colin, and I are the last unmarried Bridgerton brothers, we are being all but harassed by every eager mother here."

I laughed a bit more comfortably than I should have, but Benedict didn't seem to mind.

"I know Lady Danbury's home quite well as her and my mother have been close friends my whole life. I like to come look at the art she's collected over the years," he explained.

I hadn't even noticed the grand paintings on the walls until Benedict pointed it out. He was now stood next to me looking up at a large depiction of a Trojan battle. He continued to speak as he admired the painting.

"It was ridiculously difficult to get away from my family for a moment. Social events aren't really my scene, but I go to please them."

"I've been trying to convince my parents to let me wait another year to be out, but clearly my efforts were in vain," I replied.

Benedict pulled his eyes away from the artwork to look at me, his eyes studying my face.

"Are you uninterested in marriage?"

"No!" I exclaimed, blushing at my unintentional volume. "Sorry. No it's not that, it's just that I would rather have more time to live a more adventurous life. I wish for spontaneity and excitement before I devote myself to tending to a household and a family."

"Is that what you believe marriage to be? A never ending chore?" This was not an accusation, Benedict was genuinely curious.

"Isn't it?"

Before he could answer, the opening latch of a door sounded in the near distance. Neither of us had yet considered the scandal that would certainly emerge if the two of us were to be found alone and unsupervised, but our newfound commonalities felt so comfortable that the topic never emerged.

"We should get back before..." I started.

Benedict cleared his throat, "Yes, that would probably be wise."

"Until we meet again, Miss Jackson. And we shall."

Benedict nodded a goodbye, making his way back into the ballroom.

[riphobisbraces]

The Lucky Seven | BTS ot7 x reader

Hybrid/Royal AU

~ Chapter 1 ~

[ word count 3400+ ]

❀ genre: dark royal core, hybrid au, royalty au, hybrids/knights!ot7 x human/ princess!reader, afab (she/her) reader, polyamory (mostly ot7 x reader), strangers to lovers, daddy dom, smut and sexual sometimes. tiny bits of horror

❀ warnings: smut, swearing, murder, death (not the reader or ot7 though, I'm not evil), mentions of inbreeding (not between reader or ot7) some unsettling horror depictions, it won't be every chapter though or the whole story, just little bits here and there. (I'm willing to re write chapters for you to read if you can't do horror but still wanna follow along, just ask!🖤)

——— summary ———

In a world of hybrids and humans, following each other closely to extinction, you are one of the last full humans, Princess y/l/n of the emerald nation. humans are essential for the survival of hybrids so why are assailants hunting you and your family down? because of this, the court has decided it’d be best for you to be guarded at all times by the nations strongest knights, you’ve only ever heard of them but have never seen their faces. What will happen once you come face to face with the infamous “lucky seven”?

[ chapter 1 ]

“you will not go.”

Your father states lowly but firmly. The voice sharp enough to slice the chatter amongst the servants into silence. you were having lunch with your mother and father when you made the fatal mistake of bringing up the possibility of you attending tonight’s annual masquerade ball and thereby making your debut to the kingdom.

Ever since you were a little girl you had been sheltered your entire life. You’re told it’s for your own protection, for your people. you have to stay safe and alive to be able to nourish your nation.

being one of the last full blooded humans, you are a target. No one knows what you look like and you don’t know what anyone else looks like as well. Aside from your staff and servants, no one has ever seen your face. The kingdom and nation knows of your existence of course and they love you nonetheless but because of the scarcity of humans, your father has hidden you away in fear of you being kidnapped or worse.

Your father sees you as a priceless pearl, something he has the strong urge to protect. You were his treasure and he himself had a dark past he never got into as to why he was so overprotective. “but father… I’m 22 years old..” you say but as soon as it leaves your mouth, you wish you could take it back.

“Daughter, I know your age. And to question me is to disobey me, please leave your mother and I at once and make your way into your chamber” your father ends the conversation with that, wiping his mouth with his hanker-chief. He’s always been strict and what he says is always final. As you sat across from your mother, you stood up, placing your hands on the cold grey marble table.

You give her a look, furrowing your eyebrows as to say “please say something” but to your dismay she does the same as your father, wiping her mouth then clearing her throat before looking down to finish her meal. You sigh before you give in with a feeble “yes father”. standing up, you make your way out of dining room, feeling sympathetic glances from the staff as you leave the room.

Walking to your chamber you notice the marbled white floor feels a bit chilly today. you walk through the corridor, onto the white stairway, feeling the relief of warm velvet carpet beneath your chilly feet. Walking up the stairs, one by one, you reach the halfway mark.

The sun from the large glass windows on top of the staircase beams through, tickling your eyes. you squint and use your hand to shade your eyes before looking up. You see two birds fly by, disappearing as quickly as they appeared, almost looking like as if they flew into the clouds.

You feel your heart fall heavy, filled with desperation to be like one of those birds, even just for a second. how lucky they were, to be able to go anywhere, anytime they want. no responsibilities.

It’s a little cliche but people are right when they say they wish they were birds you think to yourself. You’ve read hundreds of books and definitely have come across some descriptions of people wanting to be birds. Never understanding though as a child, you would think to yourself “why on earth would one want feathers? And to have a beak? How bizarre” But as an adult, you understood why now. It was about the freedom.

“Your highness, are you alright? Is your heart okay?” No it isn’t. You snap out of your thoughts before you realize you were still standing halfway up the staircase, clutching your chest all the while an old male servant by the name of Lloyd, looked at you with a face of concern. How long did you space out for, you thought.

“Oh yes, thank you. I guess I just got lost in thought” you give a half smile to your servant. His face of concern turned to relief before quickly turning sour again. while waiting for his response you realize he was one of the servants that was in the dining room when that whole theatrical happened with your father.

“Your highness, please forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn but I do feel sorry for you and your predicament. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to lessen your grievances.” He tries to smile before dismissing himself with a bow and turning away. this of course isn’t unusual, your servants do seem to pity you a lot, which you find ridiculous and kind of ironic, that your “sheltering” has gotten to the point where servants pity a princess!

you’re grumbling as you think and make your way through the upstairs corridor, before eventually finally reaching your room. the oh so familiar two large and tall, white doors stand in front of you. you’ve seen these doors more often than you’ve seen your own face you thought to yourself.

reaching for the diamond knobs you turn them before pushing your way in. The breeze of the outside immediately hits your nose. It’s so fresh and delightful.

Your maids know how stuffy it gets in your chamber and how much you love fresh air so they leave your window open whenever you’re away from your chamber. Your room is cream coloured and filled to the brim with gold accents. High ceilings and lots of books.

Walking towards your desk by the window, you feel your mood start to shift. you feel a bit better despite the little argument you had with father this afternoon. you take a seat in your chair, it’s plush seating immediately coaxing your back into comfort and relaxation.

Inhale… exhale… you look up to your painting above the desk. it’s of two women, dancing in glee at some sort of outdoors festival. you always loved this painting, the happiness they seem to exude, the freedom and love.

They look like they don’t care about the past nor future, they are just focused on the present and what’s in front of each other. Oh how you longed to be that free and content. you feel the familiar heaviness sinking into you chest once again.

you have to feel that freedom, you have to have that happiness at least for one night, dear god, please, just for one night. The desperation in your chest starts to grow more and more. The desperation turns into fear and anxiety.

You feel your palms sweat and your face get hot just at the very thought. Your hands start to shake once you come to the very obvious conclusion. you HAVE to sneak out to the ball tonight.

—

“But Lloyd, you said you would do anything” you whine with a pout to your servant. “Your highness I-I might’ve of offered but I didn’t think you would need this! And your father- ohhh no, your father is a very scary man and I don’t think if I-“ you shush Lloyd, the same old male servant from before from the stairway. “shhhh. Keep it down! you aren’t doing anything you aren’t supposed to be doing, just play along. Just- Please.. “ You reply with hopelessness at this point, looking down.

you had hatched the perfect plan. You made it as though you were sleeping in your bed, forming your pillows to the shape of your body underneath the comforter. You were all dressed and had your mask on but even so, you would just have to avoid your personal staff and your parents, no one knew you were the princess and what you looked like.

Your father had luckily assigned Lloyd to sit outside your chamber with the guards. The routine is usually a servant will come in and out, checking on you from time to time making sure you are okay before letting the guards know. they would sit there all night which you had gotten used to over the course of your life.

You were always being watched and protected. a sigh interrupts your thoughts “if you’re caught, I knew nothing.” he says in defeat. your eyes widen with a bright glow and you feel your heart skip a beat before jumping into his arms “thank you, thank you, thank you” you whisper. he knows he shouldn’t be doing this but he can’t help but feel for you and your situation.

But the way you lit up and how fast he heard your heart go at his answer, he didn’t regret agreeing. Suddenly he pulled away from the embrace to face you, “Okay princess but you have to promise me not to leave the castle! please stay within the ball and please don’t get recognized. If you’re in danger please just run back to your chamber and reveal yourself to the servants so we can help you. And-“ the old man was about to continue before you cut him off “I promise I’ll be safe. just leave it all to me” you smiled at him.

He sighed out before he looked down at you and tried to return the smile but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. “Okay your highness” He replied. You give him one last smile before you let go and he dismisses himself.

Hearing your chamber door closed, you slowly walked up to your mirror, taking one last look. you were adorned with a long black dress, thin short sleeves resting on your shoulders, décolletage exposed wearing a pearl necklace with a dark green emerald laid in between your collarbones. your bangs were slightly pinned back just enough to show off your black lace mask.

Wearing your silk black gloves, you pulled up your mask to your face. this was the night. Tonight would be the night of your life. you feel yourself start to shake, before you suddenly feel the urge to throw up from all the adrenaline already.

you swallow it back holding your stomach. You thought this would be easy, thinking of it so many times before but now that you’re actually doing it, you are very frightened. You’ve never been by yourself, you’ve never been in public and mostly, you’ve never disobeyed your father.

You start to rethink your decisions. It’s not too late to undress and head to bed your good conscience says. father would never know. no. something snaps in you saying “it’s now or never”.

you shake your hands breathing in and out walking back and forth from your window before looking out to check for the outside night guards. You planned on jumping out your window and making your way to the ball since you’re only up on the second floor. There was also a small tool-shed in front of your window so you decided that you could easily make that jump to on top of it.

Once you’ve noticed that the guards finished their round near your window and were out of sight, you decide you have to just do it, or else you never will. without thinking, you opened your window ever so slightly before making the jump to the top of that very shed you’ve thought about jumping onto for years.

—

breathing in and out while looking up at the stars, you just lay there, on top of the tool shed. “I did it” you thought. You start to quietly giggle to yourself.

Even if you didn’t make it to the ball, this was enough. this was the furthest you’ve ever been outside the castle by yourself and it was simply outside your window. you catch eye of the Big Dipper, noting how prettier it looks outside.

You’ve seen the Big Dipper many times before from your window but to be apart of it outside, feels different. there are no walls surrounding you, just miles and miles of horizon. you feel like you’re in space.

“wow..” you say. You’re enjoying being in this new space before you’re brought back to reality with the sound of a snap of a twig. you quickly sat up and gasped.

you looked around into the darkness, squinting in hopes that would somehow improve your night vision. you quickly climb off once you decide that the coast is clear, making your way into the night. you can’t shake the feeling that someone or something is watching you though so you pick up your pace to the entrance.

Turns out your feeling was right. someone was watching you, not a threat though. the hybrid watched in the dark with curiosity as you made your way to the front of the palace. “Hmm” a low voice grumbles from the dark as you’re already long gone.

—

“woah…” you say in amazement at the crowd. You made your way to the front entrance where every hybrid of all ages were laughing and chattering. everyone looks beautiful and exquisite, definitely fit for a Royal ball.

You can’t help but smile like you never smiled before in your life. in awe of the different faces and smells, you find yourself all of a sudden getting pushed inside as everyone makes their way in. the crowd forming a moving wave toward the entrance with you in it so you decide to just go with the flow hoping you won’t trip.

As the crowd moves towards inside, it doesn’t take long before everyone starts to disperse into a large and grand ballroom. You gasp in astonishment, why haven’t you ever seen the ballroom when it was decorated like this?

Yes you’ve passed by it many times but the room was always empty and plain. It always felt spacious and dark, a lonely room. but tonight was different, the room had come alive with warmth and gold.

It was as if what was missing were people, smiles and laughter. It felt like an another dimension, the layout was your home but you were somewhere completely different. You made your way to the side of the room, leaning against the wall and just taking in the scene before you.

The sound of trumpets startle you from your bewilderment, panicking and immediately ducking down because you know that could only mean your father is going to make his entrance. “Woahh there miss, it’s just the horns for the king” a deep voice makes you turn your head.

A tall man standing in front of you makes your stomach drop. Looking him up and down real quick you realize, he’s a knight. you’ve never been this close to anyone but your servants, let alone having to speak to them. “o-oh yeah. I know” you quickly say before trying to hide again.

You look at the grand staircase in the middle of the room where it looks like your father will be entering from. Feeling your heart beat faster you turn back to get another look at the man’s face beside you before realizing he hadn’t broken his eye contact on you since he’s spoked. he was wearing a black eye mask but you could tell that he was handsome.

His heart shaped lips and angular jawline. He had dark hair and dark eyes to match, you could feel your palms getting hot and a weird fluttering feeling go off in your stomach just by looking at him. “is there a reason why you don’t smell of hybrid miss?” he broke your thought whilst smirking.

Wait what, smell? “what do you mean?” you question. He continues “well it’s just that, every hybrid has a certain scent that others can decipher as hybrid but it seems that…” he leans closer to smell you as you shiver from the sudden close contact “you don’t have a scent. Not a hybrid scent anyway, and as a hybrid, I shouldn’t even be having to explain this to you as you should know this… right?” He smiles. Shit, you are screwed.

You didn’t know that. otherwise you would’ve stayed in your chamber. Humans and hybrids have differentiating scents? your father never really told you these things as he thought you wouldn’t need to know them.

God damn it, father, you thought to yourself. “I just-“ you were about to continue when you were saved by the bell, or at least you thought you were. It was your father speaking. “Welcome to the 34th annual masquerade ball! please help yourself to refreshments and dance to your heart's content! please enjoy!” He finishes with a bow.

Everyone begins clapping as you find yourself sneaking away to get back to your chamber. Making your way out, you suddenly feel your wrist being grabbed, you gasped before your turned to face the same man you were talking to before. “I know you’re the princess, and I know you shouldn’t be here” he admits with a soft voice.

You feel your knees turn into noodles as you’re caught. “Please oh please don’t tell my Father, I was just about to go back into my chamber-“ you’re cut off when something quickly partially covers your sight. the room went quiet from the sudden fast flying object. you look above the thing partially covering your sight before you realize what it was.

An arrow. in between yours and the man’s face. You gasp, breath hitching, trembling as you look at the man in front of you who also has wide eyes. he suddenly covers you and picks you up bridal style without a thought and yells “THE PRINCESS IS BEING ATTACKED” everyone starts to scream and duck once everyone registers what’s going on.

“the princess?” “What is she doing here” screams and confused chatter quickly spread amongst the ball all the while, your father is standing on top of the stairs frozen in bewilderment.

What were you doing here? Who was attacking? Who’s going after his little girl? Why can’t he move? He can’t do anything but watch everything unfold in shock, still like a statue.

The voices of servants and knights trying to get orders from him, just registering as ringing in his ears. His mouth slightly agape, amongst the chaos, one of his best knights pulls him by the shoulders. “MY LORD” suddenly a loud voice abruptly brought him back from his frozen shock.

He looks up before realizing it’s one of the lucky seven. Ironically, he feels lucky because of this. “get my daughter out of here” is all the king could muster before the knight gave him a stern nod.

Running down the stairs, the knight yells out to his pack member carrying the princess “HOBI, GET HER TO NAMJOON” hobi nods while running to the front to where the said knight named Namjoon resided. The aforementioned knight running down the stairs then took out his sword and quickly looked for his other pack members to take down the asalients.

—

you’re frozen. You can’t do anything but watch the horror unfold. This is all your fault, it had to be. People were pushing each other, screaming and crying.

Everyone was running for their lives all the while you were being carried by this unknown knight. You could feel the regret and fear in your stomach churning together to create this whole new awful feeling. You just wanted to go home, you regretted ever coming out.

Your train of thought is broken when the two of you finally made it outside. An even taller and buff looking man ran up to you guys. “Hobi, what’s going on?” he asks concerned while looking back at you both and everyone running past you guys. Who you guess is Hobi, puts you down and replies “this is the princess, she’s being attacked. We need to hide her until the others calm everything down, king’s orders”

Namjoon looks at you in shock “the princess?” before quickly shaking his head, snapping himself out of his own shock before saying “alright, I’ll take her from here”. The buff looking man quickly shape-shifts into his animal form, a large dark grey wolf.

Hobi quickly puts you on top of his back before saying “hang on tight your highness” you do as your told and hold onto the wolf around its shoulders, not being able to wrap your arms fully around because of how truly large he was. Letting your hands sink into his fur, you grab on before he suddenly starts running.

You turn around as the palace behind you becomes smaller and smaller and the screams become quieter and quieter. You turn back to face forward before letting yourself succumb to your adrenaline, now feeling safe. This fur is warm you think to yourself before drifting to sleep, all the while you somehow held onto the hybrid tight the whole ride, too scared to let go or be alone even whilst asleep.

a/n; okay so I know I said I would start writing chapter one tomorrow but I couldn’t wait, I wanted to get the story rolling before I started writing tomorrow again. anyway what did you think? why didn’t Lloyd tell y/n about humans and hybrids having different scents? who was watching her while she was on top of the tool shed? and how did hobi know y/n was the princess 🤔 also who was the knight that broke the king out of his thoughts? So many questions unanswered but continue reading to see what happens! we will be meeting the boys properly next chapter :)

Next chapter:

[jazjelspen]

leaving on wild charted waters [pt. 6]

(what if our mc just got tired of Night Raven College and it's inhabitants?)

(what if mc's Cinderella night just-- had to be ruined?)

(not really filler chapter anymore shits getting real‼️‼️/angst/not proofread/injuries/mc will be happy again soon I promise TT-TT/very, very light swearing)

(requested tags!: @chxrry-blxssxm-tea @missotaku34 @aprityormarj )

if you want to be tagged in future chapters please comment or message me! I will only tag you if you directly ask for it and I will only tag you once unless you asked to be tagged on all future chapters of a particular series. now let's wrap this up and head straight into part 6!!)

the ball: the clock strikes 12

(follow the white rabbit)

your breath hitched as the head the body that held you then started to scramble back from the embrace yet held your shoulders in their hands. those green eyes, those fangs, the horns, the outfit that correlated to the dorm of a powerful fae. yeah, as you feared.. it was Malleus.

"oh how I've missed you my dear.." Malleus's mouth widened into a relieved and joyous smile, his fangs out and all and his eyes full of adoration. "you have no idea how bad it's been for me, for all of us since you left us.." he let out a small sigh before he brought you in for another hug, squeezing you a little tighter this time but knew to be careful of his strength.

"Malleus.. stop it--" you attempted to push him off with your arms on his chest yet he wouldn't budge. You continued to squirm under his arms to part from him and when you finally were able to push him off all you could see were his eyes widening in heartbreak "fuck Malleus.. I said stop it!"

"I..." he took in a deep yet shaky breath "why did you leave..? I've dreamt about you since the day you left, why would you go?.." he then held your hand in his, trying to get some sort of answer from you. "I mean I understand why you'd go but.. why not at least bid all of us.. bid me a farewell my dear?" you could see his face slowly get desperate as his vibrant green eyes got misty with the longer he looked at you "if you come back my dear I promise no one will ever hurt you again, I will always listen to you, I'll take care of you-- I'll do everything you need or want just-- please come back to me."

"then you clearly don't understand well enough as to why I left." your face subconsciously formed a scowl "I am not obliged to say goodbye to you or anyone else at that school, not when you all just kept dragging me in the mud whenever you all felt like it." you scoffed "I can admit that I have missed you all, I've missed all our good moments and trips but I can't forgive any of you for breaking my arm or cutting me or--or scarring me in more ways than one" you could feel your voice slowly raise in volume.. little by little. "I do not owe any of you an explanation as to why I left, I don't owe any of you an apology for doing what's right for me."

Malleus stared at you as you kept on talking, his mixed feelings swirling on his face, his features contorting into phases of emotions that you have never seen before. It could've been almost terrifying to look at but the thing was that-- you weren't scared, not anymore. you had more people, better people, people who never forced you into chores or missions you didn't want to do, people who didn't dump everything on you without first asking you, people that actually fucking cared about your feelings.

Malleus cared, oh he did and obviously still does. It's just he's never cared enough the way your new friends do, he never truly has.

"I don't owe you an explanation as to why I left Malleus since it's clearly obvious- that even a blind man can see it-- that I'm better off here." you stared him down in a way that sent him chills down his spine, in a way that made him feel small instead of vice versa. "I'm closer in finding a way home than I ever have at Night Raven where I wasted months of my life for people that just liked dragging a magicless human to feed their own little and fragile egos. and if you can't except that I'm better off here and better off at finally going home then you clearly have not learned anything from your overblot."

oh how you, a magicless human prefect, astounded the fae prince of briar valley. you may not have power in magic but hell did you have power in words. whether you yourself thought your sentences were powerful or not either way it astounded Malleus since it seems he's gotten used to the quiet and almost obedient version of you. his features were almost unreadable, it was unclear if he was even angry or upset. the hair on your body raised up when you sensed a few distant thunderclaps in the background and the sound of a few stems of sharp thorns grow and reach out from the floor and beneath his feet. in the end all Malleus really did with that blank expression of his was reach out to you but you flinched away from his touch.

"you look stunning tonight my dear, shining brighter than any star in the sky." his soft comment was almost random and out of place, but he seemed genuine when he spoke with that true yet strained smile on his face. he slowly pulled his hand away when the stoned room you two were in started to be filled with various large stems of every size and shape, littered with the sharpest thorns you could think of. the stems popped out from cracks in the wall, the window from the ceiling, to even more below his shoes. as they moved the thorn decorated branches all seemed to reach out to you as you backed away slowly. all this whilst he sang a gentle tune under all the ensuing chaos..

“I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream..”

“I know you that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam..”

"tsunotarou-- " you quietly begged as you continued to back away until you felt many sharp pricks on your ankles which caused you to scream and fall down to land on your rear end in pain. Malleus had to immediately cut short the tune he sang as he desperately reached out to you with a panicked look when he saw you fall but kept himself from moving any further since it seems that all he ever does to you is hurt you, even when he doesn't mean it.

also because a curious, rabbit-chasing blonde already ran to your aid.

"_____! hold on I got you!!" Alex exclaimed as he picked you up, one arm behind your back and the other under your legs. The room quivered and the stems of thorns grew into bushes, slowly reaching out for Alex's legs as well. You looked over to face Malleus who is seen clenching his chest with fistfuls of his uniform, as if he's clenching his heart.

Tsunotarou looked at you with pain and concern with quiet tears rolling down his face from seeing how he just-- keeps hurting you. Even so, he lets you go.

Luckily Alex was fast enough to jump over the growing thorns to then quickly exclaim a spell you couldn't exactly hear well with how the rumbling and stones from the ceiling started caving in.

your last view of Malleus was his sad and pitiful face before the stones started piling up and covering eachothers views. officially ending this short yet aching encounter.

Alex ran headfirst into the wall where you first came from. once you two were now on the outside of the entrance you were both hit with cold and harsh raindrops from the sky. Alex continued to run and run as far away from the collapsing structure as possible, the tower being wrapped and hugged tightly by many large stems and branches of thorns and the roof of the tower now halfway caving inside the building. Alex huffed and puffed as he dodged a few rocks of the tumbling rubble from the building before dropping down to his knees to use the wet grounds to slide against the back exit of the school dance, not entirely protected by anything but a small roof that hovered over the back door but it was much farther away from any falling debris and awful rain. as the tower continued to roar in destruction Alex basically used himself as a shield as an attempt to cover you completely, holding you close to his chest and covering your head under his chin so if anything attempted to hit your head it'd hit his instead. he held you tightly until everything went quiet and all you could hear was just a few rolling rocks.

Alex slowly turned to look behind him with you following suite. as the dust slowly started to settle and the rain just getting more violent as time went you could see that the building was on the verge of completely collapsing, there were no longer any walls up with only the many and bushes of thorns holding onto the halfway collapsed ceiling and the rest of it's stone body. there were many stones of all sizes that held up the building now on the grass floor or stone path now ruining the recently polished or beautified lawns and floors.

Alex was panting and catching his breath before he finally faced you with a very exhausted look on his face and sweat and rain dripping under his chin, the adrenaline rush slowly sinking down now that everything is somewhat quiet except for the voices of afraid or shocked students running out from all openings of the ballroom to see the scene. "are you alright?.." he asked.

you nodded while also slowly coming out of the adrenaline high. "sorta.." you paused to catch your breath "how'd you know.. that I was there?.."

he lightly shrugged as he then slowly forced himself to get back into a normal breathing pace. "I noticed that the magic you were following felt-- more sentient than it seemed at first glance..." he slowly let you down on the ground gently whilst explaining to let his body rest "when you went through the wall-- I had only gotten more- curiouser.. and eventually walked in a bit after you but I hid in the shadows." he paused to finally get himself to breathe properly, his body shaking now that the energy high was now at it's last drop. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop I really didn't but-- I felt that if I left that something terrible would've happened. I guess it's good that I stayed, plus!..." he let out a light chuckle "the bathrooms are inside the ballroom, opposite side from the back exit so-- "

you let out a breathy 'hah' as a way to still laugh with him despite the lack of energy. your ankles were stinging and pulsing with blood that was coming out from small holes decorating your skin. Alex noticed how much blood was dripping from your skin to the ground and he prepared his body to pick you back up the same way he did before. and as if on cue right when he properly held you close the chime of a large clock rang against your ears as a way to announce that it has now struck twelve. you felt your now tattered, drenched, and dirty attire now fade off of your body and back into your previous outfit. same happened with Alex with his attire shining and poofing off of him to show his school uniform yet despite these sudden outfit changes Alex immediately started walking to get you help from anyone nearby. all the students that jumped and ran out to see the commotion all gasped. some stood in shock, some were asking for both of you and Alex's physical health, and some were even offering help. Alex would accept the help but would immediately ask for anyone to get Raps over here so that he can heal you with his unique magic. The rest of whatever was happening around you slowly got a bit blurry since as you laid in the arms of the young man you slowly felt your eyes slowly close, not because of bloodloss or any of the sort, but because everything you felt in those fast and short moments just emotionally and mentally tired you out, you were feeling incredibly exhausted after the shock and adrenaline finally now had it's run on your system and you couldn't help but feel safe enough to fall asleep in the warm arms of your friend.

when you let yourself fall asleep, all you dreamt about was sleeping back in your home world while laying in the softest covers you owned. the covers in your dream were so warm and cozy as if they just came out of the dryer. you heard distant yet familiar voices of family members in the background outside of the room you were sleeping in and the soft orange light from the outside peaked into your room while gently kissing your sleeping face. the air was filled in that specific smell your home always had. your bed and covers smell just the way you remember them, your room looks exactly the way you left it and the pillow under your head seemed to hug and warm you back to sleep.

for a moment you felt that you really were back home.

Back in Night Raven College......

Malleus teleported back to the school, Lilia awaiting him inside the Diasomnia dorm after accompanying him to RSA awhile ago. Sebek and Silver beside their father while watching the prince brush past them and ignored them while opening and slamming his room doors shut. There was an eerie silence before the slams and shatters of glass and wood were heard, roaring and shouts of frustration were booming from the creaks of the doors yet boomed throughout the halls as well. The three couldn't do anything but watch, they did everything they could to get Malleus back to himself to even getting him to see the former Ramshackle prefect again. but it seems as if it only made him even more bitter and frustrated. In this moment as a group Lillia, Sebek, and Silver accepted this temporary defeat. they won't give up on the young master, but they have given up in trying to get him back to his former self. now they will attempt to still bring in his favorite things, items, and hobbies-- but they know it wouldn't be the same anymore.

meanwhile the entire rest of the school was in disarray. everyday the students had to use umbrellas or raincoats with the never-ending storm hovering above them constantly, P.E was cancelled for a whole week with how bad it's gotten and the people you left behind mostly all have a sour attitude towards the mention of you. Heartslayul, Pomefiore, and Octavinelle students were pushed on harder than they were before, the dorm leaders of those particular students basically almost, just almost going back to their former ways. they still try to keep the lessons they learned from you and their overblots but their pettiness and the grudge they now hold against you holds them back from their true good potential. Savannaclaw, Scarabia, and Ignihyde were unique cases in it of themselves. Savannaclaw's dorm leader continued to try to stay on top of his responsibilities somewhat but due to your absence it's like he's neglecting the dorm even more than he ever used to. Scarabia's dorm leader was still generous and kind as usual, maybe even more! he held you close to his heart and continued to do good and more in your memory. Ignihyde's dorm leader.. basically neglected his position fully, he's almost on the verge of falling out of the title of house leader of Ignihyde yet his younger brother continued to be his shining and motivational light to even keep this stupid title. then of course, the dorm leader of Diasomnia, not fully neglecting his responsibilities but it's clear how much he's missed out due to his constant naps to fade away into a world with you in it.

people tried to fix all the issues that have smacked the school into rock bottom but no matter what their efforts are always fruitless. some students think they can keep on going without you, that you aren't needed to keep the school running again.. while others think that the only way to revive this place is if you're back in it.

(hopefully everything here made sense! I'm not the best at describing dramatic ongoing environments so I hope it all was understandable somewhat. thank you all for the excitement towards this part! I hope to excite you all with this series even more with the stuff I have in mind for future chapters.

also this is kinda random but I also draw too! and just for the funzies I may or may not draw my version of mc’s RSA friends that don’t have an official design. maybe tho.. depends on motivation..)

[flametrashiraarchive]

You are the mistress of a house which proudly serves the demon slayer corps. Sanemi is a frequent visitor and likes to come to you for rough stress release... you're not supposed to catch feelings for him.

Content Guidance: NSFW. This story literally starts mid-bang. There is a bit of degradation and explicit sexual content.

Chapter One.

If you didn't know every bit of your anatomy before, fucking Sanemi Shinazugawa whenever he feels like it has definitely taught you. Over the past six months he's made damn sure that you know– and feel the ache in– every muscle in your body.

"Had enough?" He gasps against your spine as he pulls out of you and finishes on your ass for the second time this afternoon. His mouth is hot and vicious, leaving bruising kisses across your flesh.

"No." You twist your fists into the bed sheets as your aching pussy throbs needing his cock again. It's been a long time since you could pinpoint where one orgasm ended and the next began. It's all just one painfully pleasurable blur. You glance over your shoulder to meet the Wind Pillar's wisteria-purple stare. "Keep going. Keep fucking me."

He bares his teeth in a feral grin, snapping his hips against your ass as he pounds into you again. "Needy little slut, aren't you?"

He always takes you from behind.

If it were up to you, you'd watch him throughout; that firm, taut body of his nothing less than a thing of beauty when he's glistening with sweat and growling in pleasure.

But it isn't up to you. Your view is dictated by the callused hand in your hair, pushing your head down until your whimpers are muffled by the mattress. He's always so rough with you. If it didn't feel so damn good you'd think he was punishing you for something.

But, if he ever gave you the choice, you'd like to face him once, clawing like a demon at his firm flesh and sinew, kissing that cruel mouth of his like you've craved since the moment you laid eyes on him. Sanemi never, ever kisses your lips. Every other inch of you, yes, but never there.

As the mistress of the house– a house which so happens to proudly display the wisteria crest, inviting members of the demon slayer corps to stay and rest while their needs are tended to– giving in to these particular whims of the wind hashira isn't strictly required, but they feel far too good to deny him.

"Say it!" He barks at your back as he pounds into you, his heavy balls slapping against you as though they're somehow pissed at you too.

He tugs your hair, lifting your face from the mattress long enough for you to groan, "I'm your needy little slut."

"Yeah," he grunts before a quiet laugh escapes him. "Yeah. My cock feels so fucking good, doesn't it? You can't get enough of it, huh?"

You nod as his thrusts send goosebumps down your back. A fresh wave of pleasure crashes through you as you climax again, crying out in pleasure as he reaches around your hip to strum your clit with his rough fingers.

You cry out, "Oh God, Sanemi! Never stop fucking me."

He laughs, letting your head fall back down onto your forearms before he pulls his dick out of you and drags a desperate whimper from your lips.

But you needn't worry. As much as he likes to tease, this man prides himself on your pleasure. No sooner has his dick left you than his tongue takes its place, feasting on your pussy as though your orgasms are the key to eradicating demons from the earth. He fucks you with his tongue, as he reaches his hands around you; one pinching your nipples, the other stroking your clit when his tongue is inside you.

This fucker with his magical dick and clever, cruel tongue. You could swear that a couple of hours ago you were bickering; some petty verbal sparring match over something trivial. And you know deep down he can't fuck you forever (although he seems to have the stamina for it). He's leaving just as soon as he's through making you come. He'll be setting off on a new mission… but tomorrow just so happens to be your birthday.

Your heart clenches at the thought of spending it filled with worry that Sanemi is off dying in some forsaken demons' lair. Not that you care… honestly. There's really nothing between you. Just sex. Mind blowing, meaningless, addictive sex. Right?

You let out a sigh, and Sanemi stops licking you.

"What's wrong?" He demands, slapping your ass cheek and leaving his hand right where it lands, cupping your aching flesh. "You pass out or something, huh? I don't hear you whining for once."

Placing your hands beneath you, you lift yourself until you're kneeling, before shuffling around to face him. A flutter in your chest stirs up as you drink in the sight of him: scarred and undeniably handsome, wild, white hair, the familiar ferocious look in his eyes which most likely means he's confused, affronted or both. You'd never say it aloud, but you're pretty sure God denied him eyebrows because he already looks permanently pissed off enough as it is.

"It's my birthday tomorrow," you say.

"I know." He licks your slick from his lips, turning his head away from you and staring at the floor beside the bed. "What do you want me to say? Happy fucking birthday?"

Reaching out to cup his jaw in your hand, his name leaves your lips. "Sanemi…"

He catches your wrist, fury flashing in his eyes until he looks away again. "What the hell are you doing?"

Good question. To be honest, you aren't entirely sure. Your fingers flex against empty air, craving the touch of his skin. This…is new.

Every other time you’ve been together, you’ve been perfectly content with just sex; he barges through the door, cursing as he slips off his belt, you bend over and gladly give him the stress relief he needs. Sometimes you might share a post-coital sake, or make small talk over dinner before he heads back out on the road. You’ve never wanted to touch him before. Not gently like this.

His throat flexes. "Do you want me to make you come again or not? If so, get your ass back in the air. If not, I'm leaving."

You chuckle, suddenly, somehow finding yourself endeared hopelessly to this man who's about as adept at expressing himself as a rock. "How about… How about we try it face-to-face one time before you go?"

He grimaces. "What the fuck? Why?"

"Because I think you're hot," you say gently coaxing his face back toward you. "And I want to look at you."

You might've missed the twitch of his lips if you weren't so fixated on them. For a moment you think he might smile, but it's quickly replaced by his familiar glower. "No."

"Not even for my birthday?" You say with a slight pout. "Don't you want to look into my eyes while you're fucking me?"

"No." He gets off the bed and stands, putting space between you. A moment later he's collecting his discarded clothes and hurrying to dress.

It's hard not to be offended by his urgency. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to. That's reason enough."

You nod, dropping the subject. As rough as he can be, he's always respected your boundaries, and he deserves no less. "Okay. You're leaving right now?"

"I don't want to look at you. You're just a hole for me to fuck, understand?"

Your lips snap shut at the same time as his, the room seeming to tilt on its axis as his words pierce through you.

That's a new level of shittiness, even for him. A crackle along your spine accompanies your rage, your proverbial hackles raising. But before you can say another word he's gone.

As the days pass by, your anger bubbles away beneath the surface of your skin, a thousand retorts finding their way to your tongue far too late.

But before long, the anger fades giving way to something you could never expect.

Fear.

Fear that he won't be back, that you'll never get to retort. Fear that he's gone.

As much as you need to tell him that he was never anything more than a cock to you, and that there's nothing he could give you that can't be replicated with your own fingers, you need him to be alive to hear it.

But months pass and hope fades. Other slayers come and go; mostly polite, tired, and grateful for your hospitality. You ask about the hashira, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, but you’re met with nothing but disappointment and the occasional fearful gasp at the mention of his name.

Sanemi Shinazagawa seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth.

Until the day a Kakushi arrives, gasping for breath and spattered with blood.

"Fetch a doctor," he commands you from behind his veil. "We're bringing in a wounded hashira. He needs urgent medical attention."

You don't need to be told twice. Your home and your family have long served the corps, the wisteria crest painted on the door letting all demon slayers know they are welcome to shelter, rest, and request whatever they need from you. All slayers. Even the arrogant shitheads.

Your heart pounds as you run through city streets, and down back alleyways where the dawn's light has barely reached.

A hashira. A wounded hashira. In your home. Could it be him?

You both hope and dread it's Sanemi. It's a maelstrom of feeling; a desire to see him, even though you despise him, and although you've seen him bloodied and bruised before, you can't help but fear that this time might be worse. And yet, the thought of him needing you as something other than "a hole to fill" gives you a sort of satisfaction.

As you beat your fists against the doctor's door and wait for him to answer, you try to organize your thoughts. Above all else, you are the mistress of the house, and duty bound to tend to this hashira, whether or not they turn out to be that vile, obnoxious, eyebrowless son of a–

"Ready," the doctor announces, snapping you from your reverie. "Let's go. It sounds like there isn't time to waste."

Confusion furrows your brow until you notice the kasugai crow flying out of the house and after him.

Cold fear pools in the pit of your stomach. Maybe the hashira's condition worsened after they sent you. Maybe they didn't think you'd make it in time to save the wounded slayer.

"Hurry! Hurry!" the crow squawks. "There isn't time to waste."

"This way." You lead the doctor back through familiar paths back to your home , through shortcuts you've known since you were a child.

Your heart races as your home comes into view.

Chapter 2

[janetbrown711]

Songbirds in the City Air (i'm not gonna make it)

Prologue

Zhu Li Na was forced into servitude for her cruel step-mother and step-sisters since she was nine years old, and she craves nothing more than a night away from all of them. When an invite from the royal palace comes saying all eligible women are invited to the palace's New Years ball to meet the Princess Xiuying, she can't help but think that maybe this could be her moment.

AKA the cinderella au for my freenoodles fankid, Li Na, that literally nobody asked for

Prologue Chapter 1

Ao3 Link

Li Na laid resting with her head on her older brother’s lap, the latter combing his fingers through her hair and the former messing with the fabric of his robe. It was a quiet day on their farm, everyone moving around with hushed voices and next to silent footsteps so as not to disturb the little family of four, soon to be three– though of course Li Na didn’t like thinking about that. Frankly, no one did, but as the days passed and Pigsy only got worse and worse, everyone knew it was only a matter of time.

It almost made Li Na furious. The doctor had lied and the medicine water hadn’t worked and now her dad was– it wasn’t right! However, the flame of her anger turned into waves of sorrow and she kept her head low on her brother’s lap. She prayed this could be over like a bad dream and she could wake up with her dad just as happy as he was three weeks before.

MK used to promise her their dad would get better, but now he’s silent. He still rubbed her ears and stroked her hair, but the silence almost made her burst out into sobs. It was never this quiet around home. She was right, this was all backward, it wasn’t fair– but it was going to happen anyways. Now, the entire farm held its breath and waited.

“Li Na..?”

The girl sat up and looked at her baba standing by the hallway. His smile was so soft, but tired, and his eyes were puffy and red. He held out his hand for her, but Li Na almost wanted to keep laying here, thinking if she stayed away, this moment would never end and her dad would keep living.

MK rubbed her back encouragingly. His eyes were red and puffy too. He still didn't talk, but she could practically hear him telling her to breathe and that it'll all be okay. She hardly believed him, but got off the bench anyway, taking her baba's hand as he led her back into their bedroom, stroking her hand with his thumb the entire way there.

They stopped right before opening the door. When Li Na looked up at Tang, he looked like he was going to cry again, but instead forced a smile.

“I'll be waiting right here, okay? All you have to do is say the word and I'll be right there,” he squeezed her hand.

Li Na nodded.

“Alright. He's ready for you,” Tang kissed her head and opened the door for her, and so the eight-year-old slowly crept in.

Immediately, the girl noticed the heavy aura of the room. It was absolutely spotless for once, which Li Na was smart enough to know it hadn't been in quite some time. In fact, the only remaining signs of struggle and disease were a bowl with a rag soaking to help cool her dad– her dad.

He was laying in the middle of the bed, numerous pillows from all over the house propping him upright. He was pale– too pale– and had lost a lot of weight, his eyes looking sunken with dark circles. However, when he glanced at her, they lit up, and he smiled.

“Hey there, bao bei,” he croaked, and Li Na instantly ran and jumped up on the bed, giving him the tightest hug she could manage, already crying.

Pigsy wrapped his arms around her as best he could and kissed her head. “I've missed you.”

“Please don't go, dadsy– I don't want you to go,” Li Na pleaded, nuzzling her face in his chest.

“Oh, kiddo… you're so brave and strong…”

“I don't wanna be brave and strong, I-I want you,” Li Na cried.

Pigsy smiled sadly. “My little bao bei, I’ll always be with you.”

“S’not the same, I-I-I've missed you so much, Dadsy– please don't go,” she begged with all her might.

“Li Na, I know it’s hard… but you’ll be okay. Your baba and MK will take care of you,” Pigsy urged, stroking her hair lightly.

“I don’t care! I want you,” Li Na shook her head furiously. “I hate this! W-why didn’t the medicine work? It’s not fair, dadsy, it’s not fair.”

Pigsy sighed weakly. “I know, bao bei, it’s not. I’m sorry… I wish it was, I swear I do…”

Li Na hugged her dad tighter. “It’s too quiet without you and baba laughing all the time. I hate it here.”

“I know… but I promise you your baba’s laugh will come back one day… and you and MK will be able to laugh with ‘im too, just like old times,” Pigsy chuckled, but Li Na shook her head again.

“No, I won’t– I’ll never laugh again if you leave us, I won’t, I won’t, I won’t.”

“You will, Li Na. I know you will. You’ll find happiness after I’m gone, I promise,” Pigsy placed a weak hand on her cheek.

Li Na pressed her dad’s hand closer. “I don’ wanna be happy when you’re gone.”

Her dad chuckled again. “‘Fraid you don’t get a choice, kiddo. Good things will happen whether you want ‘em or not.”

Li Na looked away from her dad, quickly readjusting herself so her dad’s arm was wrapped around her and she was snuggled next to his chest. “How–... how do you know that?”

Pigsy kissed the top of her head once more. “I know that because… despite everything… you’ll still be the same sweet and kind girl you are now.”

“What if I’d rather be mean and bitter?” Li Na asked, bring his arm tighter around her.

“You won’t, you’re too good– like your baba and brother,” Pigsy stroked her arm with his thumb.

Li Na went quiet, tears still streaming, but completely out of words. Despite everything, it was good to snuggle with her dad one more time, so instead of talking she worked to memorize the feeling as best she could. She memorized how warm his skin was against hers, how soft his cotton robe was, how it felt for him to breathe normally, how his thumb stroked her hands, how she could feel him relax when her tears lessened, and how he shook with the effort to express his love. She embraced it all, pressing it deep in her mind so that she’d never, ever lose this feeling.

Her dad was quiet too, except for the occasional harsh breath and weak cough. It scared Li Na every time, but she would just hold her dad’s hand with both of hers and squeeze tight, and when the coughing fit was done, he’d squeeze right back. It made her cry harder, thinking about all the pain he was in and then how he wouldn’t be in pain soon but only because he’d be gone, and then–

“It’s just… it's not fair,” Li Na croaked.

“I know, kiddo… I’m so sorry,” Pigsy apologized and Li Na leapt up to hug him again.

“I-I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, bao bei.”

“...You promise not to go to the spirit realm too soon..?”

“I'll always be with you, kiddo. I promise.”

Li Na slowly nodded, sitting upright and wiping her face with her sleeve. Her dad instantly tried moving his arm up to her cheek, which Li Na helped him with.

“I love you, Li Na.” Her dad smiled, tears of his own streaking down.

“I love you too, dadsy.” Li Na tried her best not to break again, though she certainly leaned into his touch as best she could, trying to memorize this feeling too.

It was quiet again for a minute, before her father slowly croaked, “C-could you get… your baba and MK for me, sweetie?”

Li Na nodded and hopped off the bed, opening the door for Tang. He didn't hesitate to burst in, meanwhile the girl lingered at the door.

“Honey? What is it? How are you feeling?” Tang rushed to his husband’s bedside and grabbed his hand, kissing it twice and stroking his forehead.

“Get MK, please?” The demon asked.

“Of course. I'll be right back,” Tang bent to kiss his husband's head before running and calling for MK.

While he did, Li Na slowly made her way back onto the bed to hold her dad’s hand again, which made him smile ever so slightly.

“So sweet… so kind, my Li Na…” he whispered.

Li Na kept her eyes low. “Thank you, dadsy… I-... I won't change that, I promise.”

“That's my girl.” His smile grew when MK and Tang returned.

“Dad, You– you said you needed me?” MK asked, hand going to the demon’s shoulder.

Pigsy’s eyes could barely stay open at this point, but he looked at MK with quiet relief. “Son… I’m so proud of you…”

MK stepped closer. “I-I know, dad, you told me earlier–”

“I love you, son.”

“I love you too, dad,” MK assured, squeezing Pigsy’s shoulder tight.

Pigsy’s eyes wandered to his left, where Tang was now standing. “Tang…”

“I’m right here, Pigsy, I’m right here,” Tang held onto Pigsy’s other hand.

“I love you too, Tangy,” the demon said.

“I-I love you too, Pigsy.” Tang sniffled before kissing his forehead, allowing Pigsy to finally close his eyes.

“I’m lucky… I love you all… m’so lucky…” His voice grew even quieter.

“W-we’re lucky to have you, Pigsy,” Tang insisted, laughing and crying harder.

“M’lucky… love you…”

Tang didn’t say anything back this time, just kissing his cheek long and soft, while time slowly but surely came to a stop.

The first thing Li Na noticed was her father letting go of her hand. The second was how his shoulders sagged, his head rolling back ever-so-slightly. The third was when Tang pulled away, her dad’s smile didn’t grow like it always did, his face completely still. The fourth was that his chest exhaled and stayed, and stayed, and stayed. The fifth was that his chest never rose back.

“No… no– dad– dad wait– stop! No– please– I’m not ready– Dadsy please!” Li Na begged, going to shake her dad’s shoulders, before she felt a pair of arms wrap around her midsection and pull her away.

“Let me go! Let me go! Dadsy!” Li Na shrieked, kicking and flailing but never once looking away from Pigsy, whom her baba was now draped against and sobbing on. Whoever was holding her had a strong grip though, as even with her clawing and scratching and shrieking and kicking, they managed to hold strong and drag her into the hallway. She protested even stronger out there, shrieking and shrieking and kicking and wailing and hitting the arms holding her back until the futility of it crashed over her and she broke down.

The person holding her sank to their knees instantly, quickly wrapping her in a hug, and– MK– MK hugged her tight before letting out a loud sob of his own. Li Na collapsed in his arms, trying to hug him but every inch of her body ached and burned with emptiness. Thankfully her brother was stronger than her, hugging and holding her close and tight, like he was afraid to let go.

Li Na hoped he never did.

Li Na’s whole body shook and shuddered until she suddenly felt another pair of arms wrap around her and MK– Baba…

“I-It’ll be okay, you two… one day, it’ll be okay, I promise,” he croaked, kissing both MK and Li Na’s heads before he squeezed them tighter.

Li Na couldn’t disagree more. She had so many things she still wanted to do and say to him, but now she can’t and it just– it hurt, it hurt so bad, and—

Pigsy was dead, and nothing was going to change that.

.o0o.

Her dad ended up being right, Li Na didn't like being mean. It wasn't like she didn't try, she wanted to hate all the doctors and medical scholars that stopped by the farm or she saw in the village, but she just couldn't do it. She knew they tried their best, but it just wasn't good enough. After all, she could've done and said more, but she wasn't enough either, so…

Tang made sure the funeral was held on the most auspicious day possible, and found the best monks and scholars for the procession and rituals. Li Na clung to his side whenever she could, but when he was busy, she was immediately glued to MK. The funeral was beautiful with white everywhere, and with beautiful music. It was quiet, like it had been before, but now it seemed like even heaven and earth were mourning, as even the plants and animals hung their heads low in respect. It was too dreary for spring, but her baba said it wouldn’t last forever.

He was right too, in a way. It took weeks, but eventually the flowers started blooming and the chickens started clucking, and the ducks started quacking. But… still. It was more muted than before, like it was covered in mist and haze.

It didn’t help that with her dad gone, Tang had to run the place, and while he certainly tried his best, Pigsy had always been more suited for managing it all– especially the rougher seasons. While her baba never said anything, Li Na knew money was tight, evident by the shrinking meals and struggling staff and the chicken coop never getting repaired.

She couldn’t cling to her baba as much during those days, but MK wasn’t much better. There was something weird with him– this kind of energy he couldn’t seem to shake. He was on high alert at all times, constantly observing the area around him and going out back to practice with his old wooden sword from ages ago. Sometimes Li Na would watch as he slashed and hacked away at the target, but other times it was just too much and she’d rather find her baba.

She hated being alone. If her baba or MK weren’t in her line of sight, an uneasy feeling would start consuming her until she’d suddenly burst into unstoppable tears that none of the staff could fix. She could only be soothed by MK or Tang picking her up and hugging her tight, and she’d fall asleep in their arms.

She dreamt of her dad often, almost every night. She could hear his gruff voice, feel his gentle touch, and would be consumed by his warm hugs that disappeared into nothingness when she woke. At first it made her weep, but now it was more of a weight in her chest that she had to carry as she moved on. It was hard to keep up her chores like this, but after a few months she managed to press on.

However, one winter morning, everything came crashing down.

“MK… Li Na… I–... I've been thinking,” Tang spoke up around the dinner table.

MK furrowed his brows but said nothing.

“...The harvest was obviously less than ideal this year, a-and well– you both know I wasn't raised in this kind of environment and without–... without him here, I just… I don't think I can manage this place on my own,” he confessed, and Li Na saw MK's posture stiffen.

“So what're you suggesting?” He asked sharply.

Tang looked towards the fireplace. “I… I can't bear the thought of selling this place. It’s been in your father's family for generations, it should be yours one day… but I am not the person who should be running this place in his absence.”

MK's shoulders relaxed. “Okay… then what? You're gonna hire more help? Where are we going to get the money?”

Tang clenched his eyes shut tight.

“I… I was thinking I should remarry.”

Li Na's eyes widened. “Wh-what?! What about–”

“The matchmaker informed me of a widow with two daughters who lives nearby, says she needs a husband to help support her family and she has ties to the schools in Chang'an. If I can get hired to teach there, it would give us enough money to keep the farm and hire all the help in the world,” Tang explained with a tone of desperation.

“B-but what about Dadsy? I-It hasn't even been a year, a-and– You said you loved him a-and that you'd never love anyone else, you promised,” Li Na started to sob so MK dragged her into a hug.

“I know, Li Na, but trust me when I say this is strictly a marriage of convenience and the only way I can think to help preserve his memory.” Tang reached forward across the low table, but Li Na stayed curled to MK. “I loved and still love your father with all I am, bao bao… but for your sake and for MK's and this farm, I have to.”

Li Na wanted to refuse, of course, but one look at her baba showed her just how heartbroken and desperate he was, so she glanced up at MK before making her decision.

“I… I think you should do it,” MK said. “It'll be good for you two to have someone else to help you take care of things,” he looked up at Tang, who looked like a boulder was lifted off his back.

“Yes, of course. Did I mention she has two daughters? They're just a bit older than you, Li Na, and I've heard tons about how polite and sweet they are. I'm sure they'll be great friends for you,” Tang rambled.

Li Na got a little closer to MK. “I don't need friends, I have you two…”

MK sighed and stroked her hair. “Everyone needs friends, Li-Li. Plus, one day soon I'm gonna be out on my own, ‘making it as a man’ as they say. What will you do then?”

Li Na stiffened. “You– you wanna leave..?”

MK winced. “Not too soon! Like– not this year, but… but maybe after baba's married again and you're all settled into your new life, you know?”

“What?! That's not fair!” Li Na protested.

“Li Na, I'm sorry but– but I have to do this. I need to find a way to make it on my own, but I promise you I'll write every week– every day if I can, alright? You aren't going to lose me too, I swear.” He hugged her closer.

“No! I don't want you to go! It's not safe out there!” The girl shook her head feverishly.

“Li Na, it's okay, I'll be safe, I just–... I gotta do this.” MK glanced at their baba, who was obviously shocked by the revelation too.

“MK, I… I don't know what to say…” Tang sank down slightly. “Goodness, you really are eighteen, aren't you?”

“Tell him he can't go, baba! Please,” Li Na begged.

Tang and MK looked at each other in a way that made Li Na feel worse.

“Li Na, I won't go until you're good and ready, okay?” MK held her head in his hands and made her look at him. “Until then, I'm not going anywhere.”

“But… why?” Li Na sniffled.

MK sighed. “I can't explain it… it's like… destiny is calling me and I've been itching to answer.”

“You’ll get to experience that one day for yourself, bao bao,” Tang added, finally going to her other side to join the hug.

“Besides, you’ll have two new sisters to get to know and bond with. Plus, I’ll be writing letters to you whenever I can to keep in touch.” MK smiled softly.

“What if my step-sisters hate me?” Li Na asked, picking at her nails.

MK laughed. “They won’t, don’t worry. You’re too nice to hate.”

Li Na snorted a little, before her eyes fell low. “What if I’m never ready for you to go..? Would you stay?”

MK rested his head on top of his sister’s. “I’ll stay as long as you need, Li Na.”

Li Na let out a long sigh, because despite that being what she wanted to hear, it certainly didn’t make her feel any better.

“Li Na, I know this is a lot of change, but you aren’t alone,” Tang spoke up, tucking a strand of her hair back before cupping her cheek. “I’ll be adjusting to this new life right there with you, okay? I’ll always be here for you.”

Immediately, Li Na winced, a dark thought crawling into her mind.

“But… what if you get sick..?” She looked at both of them.

MK and Tang both froze a moment, eyes wide and jaws agape before they suddenly snapped out of it to embrace Li Na tightly.

“We’ll take it one day at a time, Li Na,” Tang whispered. “One day at a time.”

Li Na melted into the embrace of her family, her mind full of uncertainty but her heart wanting desperately to believe them. As much as it felt like everything sucked, she wanted to believe it could get better. If MK and Tang were telling her it was possible, she’d do her best to believe them.

“Okay, baba.” She nodded, glancing at MK. “I’m sorry for yelling, I didn’t mean to–”

“It’s okay, Li-Li, it’s okay,” MK insisted, hugging her tighter. “I didn’t mean to drop it on you right now. I’m not going anywhere for a long, long time.”

“Good.”

.o0o.

The wedding was set for the second week in spring, with them only meeting up in person one day before the ceremony for paperwork. Tang admitted the arrangement was less than ideal, but Lady Zhang Jenai, as they came to know her, was a very busy woman. It meant they got to spend the anniversary of their father’s passing alone as a family though, which was something Li Na was very grateful for. However, shortly after that, most of their things were packed to be moved to Lady Jenai’s large estate in the city, meaning she had to say goodbye to the only home she’d ever known.

Tang constantly assured her Lady Jenai’s place was better, that it was bigger and there were many children she could meet and mingle with out there, but she strongly disagreed. She had only ever gone into the city once with her baba, and she hated all the noise and shouting. The farm was quiet and peaceful, with rivers and ponds in abundance for her to relax and play in after all her chores were done. Tang said Lady Jenai had a duck pond in her courtyard, but Li Na doubted it would feel the same.

In better news, Li Na had stopped crying whenever MK or Tang were gone, though the loneliness and anxiety she felt still lingered. She managed to cope with housework and picking up where staff and servants dropped off. Granted, being nine-years-old meant she was hardly skilled, but it was worth it if it helped her get over her separation anxiety.

Of course, she wasn't perfect, as the closer it got, the more nervous she got about meeting her future step-family. Nobody really knew anything about them other than they were around her age and very proper, which made her wonder if her own etiquette skills would be lacking compared to theirs. She wondered if they'd look down on her for being from the country instead of the city. She sometimes even worried they'd dislike her for being a demon (although technically she was only half, but she didn't look like it). MK told her not to worry, that she’d win them over eventually, and before she knew it the day had arrived.

Li Na did her best not to, but ultimately she cried once the carriage was pulled away from the farm, which got her a side hug from Tang.

“It’ll be okay, bao bao, we’ll be back someday soon,” he assured, rubbing her arm up and down.

Li Na slowly nodded. “Yeah… you’re right, baba. We’ll be back.”

Her baba seemed satisfied at that, and so Li Na curled up to his side and let him stroke her hair until she fell asleep, wiped out from all the packing and with quite a few hours ahead of them.

It was a quiet journey, up until they reached the city, where the hustle and bustle of guards and markets and horses and shouting disrupted Li Na’s little nap, and she grumbled back to life. It still took some time to reach Lady Jenai’s home, having to pass through several grand city walls before they arrived.

The moment the carriage stopped, servants dressed in red immediately approached and offered a hand to help the three of them down, before more people in red came and took their trunks of goods into the truly formidable home.

It was taller than any she was used to seeing, not to mention stretching wide with beautiful trees and landscaping to boot. It made Li Na’s eyes sparkle as she noticed the birds and other wildlife, before her baba suddenly spoke.

“Lady Jenai, thank you for allowing us into your home.” Tang quickly bowed, MK and Li Na short to follow.

The lady in question was standing right by the grand door, her face covered by a fan. The woman was tall and grand in her stature, her face was as pale as porcelain and hair as black as the night. In her hair was a bright gold qixiong ruqun that sparkled like the sun, so elegant Li Na briefly wondered if her baba got engaged to a princess and forgot to tell them. Jenai also wore bright red paste on her lips, rouge on her cheekbones, and a red plum blossom on her forehead, giving a soft and heavenly look to her face– if it weren’t for her eyes, which were dark and sharp as they looked towards her baba.

“The honor is mine, Lord Tang.” She bowed, her long silky gown flowing with pure elegance as she did. “Come. Let me introduce you to my daughters.”

“Of course.” Tang nodded, and Li Na quickly grabbed his hand before they headed in.

Immediately, the girl was struck by the opulence of her new home, jade and gold decorating every wall and pillar. There was all sorts of artwork everywhere, whether it be expensive looking vases or paintings of nature or of Lady Jenai’s family. She couldn’t wait to get an official tour, as they were moving way too fast toward the courtyard for her liking. Then again, she was going to live here, so she’ll have all the time in the world to get to know the place. She could tell it made her baba excited too.

The courtyard was stunning. It was everything Tang had described and more– a pond with little ducks swimming, a gorgeous, large peach tree ripe for the taking, stone paths to hop along, a small stream to meditate by, and a bench to sit and enjoy the breeze. Li Na was so lost in the lavishness, she practically forgot about her step family until Tang squeezed her hand and her eyes landed on the two girls in front of her.

The first was taller than her, and thin as paper. She wore the same makeup as her mother and sister, though had a flame instead of a flower marked on her forehead. Her dark raven hair was twisted into four buns, two on each side of her face, and were decorated with golden flowers. She wore a dark blue hanfu with red accents and scarves, likely to match the red in her makeup. If Li Na had to guess, she would figure this sister was three or four years older than her since, while she looked more mature, she clearly hadn’t had her coming of age ceremony yet.

The other sister was roughly the same height as Li Na, and while her face wasn’t white, she still had a little red lotus on her forehead. Her hair was split into three sections and twisted into buns that resembled chain loops that were remarkably well kept. She wore a hanfu similar to her sister, except green with red accents instead. If Li Na had to guess, she was a year and a half older.

“These are my daughters: Sujia and Peili,” Lady Jenai announced, the girls bowing when their name was spoken.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you girls.” Tang and company bowed. “These are my children, Xiaotian and Li Na.” He gestured.

When Li Na finished bowing, she immediately noticed both sisters were staring at her with wide eyes, the younger with a raised eyebrow that made her face turn dark red until their mother spoke up.

“It’s a pleasure to have you join our family,” Jenai looked at MK and Tang. “Come now, we have a lot to discuss for the ceremony tomorrow, and there’s tea waiting in the library,” she told Tang. When they started to go, Li Na naturally followed, until the woman suddenly stopped in her tracks and looked at her.

“This is an adult matter. The children should stay in the courtyard,” She spoke to Tang, not even so much as glancing at Li Na.

Tang and MK looked down at her with pitiful smiles that told her all she needed to know, and she let go of her baba’s hand.

“Thank you, bao bao. We’ll find you as soon as we’re finished,” he vowed, and before she knew it, he and MK were both gone.

It was okay, though. She was okay if they were gone. She was okay. She was just going to go relax by the pond and–

“Wow, your skin really is pink, huh?” A voice from behind made her jump.

“I– uh– yeah!” Li Na laughed nervously and turned around, finding Sujia and Peili staring at her. “It's what you get being half a pig demon.”

Sujia laughed. “That is what you get. You like mud too?”

Li Na laughed too, though her stomach was kinda tight. “No, no mud for me, just water.”

“That must be the human half,” Peili added with a giggle.

“What else do you do, little piggy?” Sujia asked, circling her.

“Oh, well, I mostly help baba around the farm–”

“Farm? Isn’t that confusing?” Peili interrupted.

“Well, they would have experience raising pigs, it makes sense,” Sujia snickered, while Li Na shifted awkwardly.

“We don’t have pigs on the farm, just cows and birds and stuff,” Li Na spoke up.

“Good, then there’s no mix ups,” Sujia patted her shoulder. “What else?”

“W-well, I help pick apples, when they’re in season. I also do a lot of sweeping and cleaning where our workers can’t since I got ‘young joints’ and all,” she explained further.

“Ever been to the city's Lunar New Year festival?” Peili questioned next.

“Oh– uh, no. Baba and I don’t really like the noise,” Li Na admitted.

Sujia snickered. “Really? That’s too bad. The celebration is just about to die for. But then again, I can see how it can be too much for simple people like you.”

“Yeah, I– I guess so,” Li Na half agreed, confused by her tone.

“So have you ever done anything cool or fun?” Peili cut in again.

“Oh, well MK and I play a lot games together and practice sword and staff fighting sometimes–”

“Really? Isn’t that kinda boyish?” Peili raised an eyebrow.

“Not for her, dummy.” Sujia elbowed Peili with a snicker.

“Right! Yeah, I like sword fighting, I think it's cool.” Li Na smiled and both girls laughed.

“You're really cute, aren't you?” Sujia tilted her head in a way that made Li Na blush.

“I… I've been told.” She looked at the ground.

“You are cute! You look like a fat little piglet,” Peili snickered, getting her another elbow from her older sister.

“She is a piglet, Peili.” Sujia rolled her eyes, before suddenly snapping her fingers. “You should let me give you a makeover some time, I can make you totally beautiful.”

Li Na took a step back. “Oh, I don't know–”

“Oh c'mon! It would be so fun,” Peili insisted.

“It would be so cute to see you walk around like that,” Sujia added. “I bet Mama would even let you go with us to New Years.”

“I don't know, Baba says I shouldn't worry about makeup til I'm 15.” Li Na scratched her arm.

Sujia rolled her eyes. “What would he know about makeup and fashion and society?”

Li Na looked back at the ground.

“I think you should think about it since it would be totally fun.” Peili shared a look with Sujia. “And it would be a good way for us sisters to bond.”

Li Na lit up. “R-really? You want that?”

Sujia smiled sweetly. “Of course we do. We're going to be family tomorrow, after all, so the least we can do is teach you how to be pretty.”

“Besides, you really can't go out in public like that,” Peili added.

“Right, yeah.” Li Na blushed again.

“You should dance for us some time, it would be fun,” Peili suddenly suggested.

“Oh– I don't really know how to, though.” Li Na shook her head.

“That's half the fun.” Sujia smiled with her arms crossed. “I can get all of the girls from the area and we can all watch you dance for us.”

“Wait– Just me?” Li Na blinked. “That's kinda… weird, isn't it?”

Sujia and Peili laughed.

Li Na would've asked more, but right the door opened and MK returned.

“Li Na, did you know Jenai's husband w– oh, hello you two,” MK realized his sister wasn't alone and bowed.

“MK,” Li Na smiled and hugged him tight. “Why're you back so soon?”

“It was all just boring financial talk, don't worry, Li-Li.” MK waved off.

“MK… Didn't Lord Tang say your name was Xiaotian?” Peili asked, head tilted.

“Oh, yeah, but I prefer to be called MK,” he explained with a grin.

“I see,” Sujia nodded. “Well, welcome to the family, MK. Care for a tour of our home?”

“Oh-! Sure, that sounds fun, right?” MK looked to Li Na, who nodded (getting a grimace from Peili).

“Let’s go then.” Sujia turned on her heels, and the tour began.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch, Li Na feeling much braver and safer with MK by her side. They reunited with Tang at dinner, and things were finally starting to feel good by nighttime.

Li Na was unfortunately not part of the wedding procession, since she wasn't allowed to be with the men and wasn't considered family to the bride, which was fair. Besides, MK told her she’d just get bored at all the rituals and that she could be with them at the dinner. She did catch a glance at her baba briefly as he went across a hall, and gave a small wave he returned before he disappeared once again.

Thankfully, MK was right and she joined the family at dinner, which was truly magnificent. Granted, the noodles were nothing compared to how her dad used to make them, but the rest was delicious. There was shark fin and fish roe soup, roasted duck, crab, sea cucumber and abalone, and sweet buns– she felt like a princess having it all laid out in front of her. It was great to sit and talk to her brother and Baba again too, and while it made her wish she could have seen the ceremony, she was perfectly happy to be at the dinner.

And so the day ended, and the Zhang and Zhu families were now one.

…And one month later, MK had packed his bags and was ready to venture out on his own.

“Alright, the boat’s here, I guess we know what that means,” Tang laughed nervously as MK picked up his bags.

“I'll be okay, Baba, I promise.” MK smiled softly. “And you will be too, with your job and your books and your studies.”

Tang's eyes filled with tears. “I know, MK, I know… just make sure to write, okay?” he wiped his face.

“Of course,” MK gave his baba a quick hug before turning to Li Na, who immediately hugged him.

“Do you really have to go?” she whispered.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry but I do.” MK stroked her head.

“Just checking,” she sighed.

“Hey, you've been doing okay with Sujia and Peili, right? You'll be just fine,” MK assured softly.

“Still.” Li Na sniffled. “It won't be the same.”

MK knelt down. “Well then, it's a good thing I got you something then, hm?”

Li Na perked up, making MK laugh as he turned around. He teased her for a moment, hemming and hawing and searching through his bags before he suddenly turned around with a tiny blue kitten in his hands.

“What?! Where did you get that?” Li Na jumped and immediately started flapping her hands in joy.

“Found him at the back end of a street yesterday, and I think he'll be the perfect pet to keep you company while I'm gone,” MK grinned, handing the kitten over.

“Oh he's so cute, MK!” Li Na fawned. “B-but–”

“I know he's no me, but I hope you two can be friends.” MK's smile went sad.

“Thank you, MK, I– I'll take good care of him,” Li Na promised, and the kitten in her hands meowed.

“Cute little guy, isn't he?” Tang chimed in, giving the kitchen a scratch under the chin.

“He needs a name though,” MK pointed out. “Li Na?”

Li Na thought about it long and hard, studying the little thing up and down, taking in its orange stripes and white spots with much thought.

“What about… Mo?” She proposed.

“I love it! It's perfect for him,” MK ruffled her hair, and she giggled.

“Sir? Are you getting on?” asked the captain.

“Right, yes! Be right there!” MK swore, but right before he was going to pick up his bags, he gave Tang and Li Na another hug.

“I'll write at least every month, I promise,” he whispered.

“I love you,” Tang and Li Na whispered back.

“Love you guys too,” MK sniffled. “Take care.”

“You too,” Tang laughed sadly.

MK squeezed them tighter before he grabbed his bags and ran onto the boat.

As Li Na watched, Tang placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it tight.

“He'll be alright… he's a smart boy, he'll be fine,” he said, his eyes distant.

“Yeah, MK'll be okay,” Li Na agreed, and Mo once again meowed, taking her attention away from the boat. “Hey, little guy. Let's get you nice and cozy before we go home, hm?” She brought him closer to her chest.

“Yes, yes, let's go home.” Tang seemed to snap out of his trance, gently guiding Li Na away from the dock and back to the carriage.

However, just as she was about to obey, a voice shouted from the boat. The pair spun around to find MK waving as big as he could while the boat sailed away. Li Na and Tang immediately waved back, and continued to do so until MK was a blip on the horizon and they had no choice but to go home.

.o0o.

Life without MK was as lonely as Li Na had expected, though Mo was a nice distraction. He was a fierce little guy, constantly pouncing on any suspicious shadows or bugs or mice– though he was too little to win his fights with the latter. He was also very loyal, preferring to stick by her side whenever possible, or else he'd just stand at the door and cry until she came back.

Lady Jenai didn't like Mo very much, though. She agreed to keep him because he'd one day be able to hunt mice and rats, but in the meantime she asked for “it” to be out of her sight.

Sujia and Peili were similar, though a bit mean about it. They called Mo names and made jokes about throwing him out. One time Peili even tried to pick him up, but stopped when he hissed. Li Na tried to not let it bother her, since maybe they were just jealous that MK got her a cat and didn't give them anything.

It was… hard, though. She felt like she barely saw her baba anymore except at dinner due to him working all the time in the city. It left her with very little to do except practice her embroidery and writing.

The best days were when MK's letters arrived. She treasured each of them dearly and kept them in a box under her bed. When one would arrive, she'd read all about his adventures over and over again until she found the time (and paper) to write. She’d then write about all the little things Mo had done recently, about how the summer heat was starting to get to her, how she thought of him every time she ate a peach, and how she'd look forward to his next letter. Then it was off to the postman, and she'd return back to her day-to-day routine.

It wasn't all bad though. Sometimes Sujia and Peili actually wanted to hang out with her and it would be fun. She didn't quite get them or their jokes yet, but she liked them and wanted to know them better, since they were now sisters and all. Granted, it was a little weird they were always asking her to clean up whatever mess they'd all make, but she was happy to help. Plus, it was worth it when one day the girls said they were thinking of actually taking her out to the city.

“Sit still, we need a lot of this stuff to make you pretty,” Sujia warned, putting on more white rice powder all over Li Na's face.

“Sorry.” Li Na blushed and closed her eyes again.

“Wow, you really are using a lot of mama's makeup,” Peili commented.

“That's the plan,” Sujia replied, dabbing on more.

“Oh– I don’t want to use all of your mama’s stuff–”

“It’ll be fine, you’ll see,” Peili interrupted, rummaging through the drawers for more makeup.

“O-okay, if you’re sure,” Li Na gave a weak smile.

“Close your eyes, I need to get the eyelids,” Sujia snipped, and she obeyed.

“Found it!” Peili then announced, slamming a drawer shut.

“Just set it on the counter,” Sujia huffed, applying the makeup a tad more aggressively, hurting Li Na’s eyes. She kept quiet though, not wanting to make it worse.

“Oo! Can I do her lips? I got a plan to make em really–”

“No. We're sticking to how I planned it,” Sujia immediately shut down, practically hitting Li Na with the bristles full force.

“Ow,” Li Na let slip.

“Oh shut up already!’ Sujia snapped, setting down the rice powder and switching to the rouge, startling Li Na.

“Peili stop, you're upsetting her,” Peili whined.

“It's fine, calm down.” Sujia rolled her eyes and started applying the red makeup to her cheeks and nose. It stung, but Li Na endured, since “pretty hurt” or something like that.

“Ugh, fine. But if she cries, that's your fault,” Peili huffed and slumped on a chair.

Sujia huffed, but managed to apply the rest of Li Na's makeup with ease, stepping back with a grin.

“You look… special, real special,” Sujia said, dusting her hands off.

Li Na couldn't help but smile. “You really think?”

“Oh yeah,” Peili giggled. “Like a real–”

“Wait here, okay? We'll be back after we get mother to agree,” Sujia interrupted.

“Oh! Okay,” Li Na agreed, sitting up properly.

“We'll be right back,” Peili grinned too as Sujia took her arm and they quickly left the room.

A wave of anxiety washed over Li Na as she sat there, and she immediately started fidgeting with her sleeves. She knew she wasn't really supposed to go in Lady Jenai's room, especially alone, but she was invited here! So it was okay!

Besides, when she looked into Lady Jenai's big polished mirror, Li Na thought she looked beautiful– like a fairy or a princess. Her baba would be so proud to see her all dolled up and ready to go shopping in the city. The only thing she was missing was a fancy hair comb, and her hair to be all done up.

With a smile, Li Na took her dark brown hair out their simple buns and ran a brush through them, giggling at the fancy feeling of the much nicer brush. She brushed her hair until it was all nice and neat before she attempted to do her hair like Sujia– or even Lady Jenai. She really wanted to impress her, and prove she could be high society like her too. Maybe if she proved herself worthy, Lady Jenai could mentor her in manners and such– and maybe she could even be like a mother to her, like MK said she could be.

Li Na's never had a mom– at least, not in the traditional sense. Tang was certainly more feminine than Pigsy, but he wasn't exactly an expert in etiquette and fashion and makeup. Li Na knew he came from a fancy background like Lady Jenai, but he always said he was “too shy” for big social events, and “too awkward” for etiquette. As for Pigsy..? He may have been born a girl, but he was a farm boy through and through, always joking about how lost he would've been at formal events. He taught her things like how to recognize a good radish, how to successfully collect chicken eggs without getting pecked, and how to catch crickets with her bare hands– which, while very cool, weren't exactly helpful in high society.

Lady Jenai could teach her how to adapt in this new life– how to be pretty like her step-sisters and maybe even be someone worth admiring. She could adapt to this new life with her help! She could make MK and her dadsy proud! She could almost see it now, her in a silk robe and fan attending court at the palace–

A loud gasp sent Li Na scrambling up, and she was startled to see her stepmother's face so repulsed.

“You,” she seethed. “What on earth do you think you're doing here?”

Li Na looked around, confused. “I-I– Sujia a-and Peili– they said–”

“See, mother?” Sujia interrupted. “I told you she was a little thief.”

“I should have known,” Lady Jenai sighed. “Now I have to get the room inspected for ticks and lice and any other parasites your kind carries around.”

Li Na stepped back, heart pounding in her chest. “M-my kind?”

Sujia laughed. “Wow, you really are stupid, aren't you?”

“You're a halfling, chun zhu,” Peili snickered. “You're not like us.”

“Wh-what? No! I– Lady Jenai, they said– I'm still a person!” Li Na shouted.

“Please,” Lady Jenai rolled her eyes and slowly walked towards her. “You may wear clothes and tie your hair up however you like, but you will always be nothing more than a farm pig.”

“A chun zhu!” Peili cackled. “That can be her new name– Chun Zhu the fat, dumb pig girl.”

“Chun Zhu– why didn’t I think of that?” Sujia laughed right along.

Li Na shook her head and stepped back against the wall, tears threatening to spill. “N-no! Sujia– she said– I-I can be pretty! I-I just– I need some help learning, I promise.”

Lady Jenai raised an eyebrow. “And what on earth makes you think I'd want to waste my time on something like that? Especially to a bratty little thief such as yourself,” she snatched the comb from Li Na's hair.

“I-I didn't steal anything! Sujia put it all on! She said it was okay! I swear– I-I would never–”

Lady Jenai slapped Li Na across the face. “You really are a pest, you know that? And a foolish one too, expecting me to believe you over my own daughters.”

Li Na froze with shock. She desperately tried to scramble words to defend herself– to make her stepmother see reason and explain her innocence, but the stinging in her cheek broke something in her.

“Quiet now?” Lady Jenai huffed. “Good. First order of business is to take that whorish makeup off. Then you will go to your room, where your bedding will be stripped and your personal possessions– every toy, every book, every ink pot– will be taken away.”

Li Na's eyes widened. “W-wait–”

“From there–” Lady Jenai shot an icy look– “you will be given servants' clothes and you will work in this house as a servant for a month as a punishment for your lies and thievery, is that understood?”

Li Na couldn't believe what she was hearing– this couldn't be real, right? This– this was just a nightmare– one she would wake up from any moment now.

“I said, ‘is that understood’?” Lady Jenai yanked Li Na's ear, making her cry out.

“M-my baba won't stand for this,” she protested with what little courage she had left.

Lady Jenai just laughed though, the sound making ice run through Li Na's veins.

“You really think that yutao of a man is in charge here?” She pulled on Li Na's ear harder. “He will be thanking me to no longer have such a hideous creature every day.”

“No!” Li Na cried. “M-my– baba–”

Her stepmother twisted her ear so hard she yelped, before dragging her out and down several hallways before she was thrown into a dark, damp stone room with bits of straw strung about, somewhere nearby the servant’s quarters.

“You will be locked in here for the remainder of the day. Keep up your attitude if you wish to make your stay longer,” she seethed.

Again, Li Na's mind scrambled for a defense– any defense, but the way the woman she had wanted so desperately to approve of her glared down like she was a filthy animal. It made her want to break down and apologize so things could go back to the way they were.

Instead, she curled up and held her sides, choking out a weak, “B-baba–”

“Your father cares nothing for you,” Lady Jenai snapped. “He will be delighted to find you rotting away in here, as will I and every other person who has had the misfortune of looking upon your face.”

Before the girl could even think to speak up, the door slammed shut, the lock turned, and Li Na was left alone in the dark.

Immediately, Li Na let out a loud sob, begging for someone to let her out and that she promised to never bother any of them ever again. She went on like that for hours, and hours, and hours, but either nobody heard or nobody cared (Li Na wasn’t sure which one was worse). Eventually she was too overcome with weakness to continue crying, her stomach tight with hunger. However, even then nobody came.

She tried speaking up whenever she thought she heard steps, but nothing ever came of it (other than the lonely feeling crawling up her throat). Li Na was alone now, just like Lady Jenai promised. Her baba– wherever he was– wasn’t coming for her. Her brother was gone. Her dadsy was dead.

She was alone.

[serenaoffaerun]

Tenacity - Chapter 3 of the "Consequences" series

It's finally here!! Thank you all for your patience. Because of the physical letter writing I drew for Tav and Gale's back-and-forth, this took much longer than I anticipated. Plus, the story just kind of...ran away with itself... This chapter comes in at a word count over 8,000 and I don't know how that happened LOL.

Big thanks again to @alpydk who started off this series with what was supposed to be a one-off angst story, and allowed me to write my own sequel chapters to finish the story my own way. (Alphydk's chapter 2 can be found here.) As my first long-form writing in over a decade, it's been a fun challenge to take two characters I love so much and get them out of a position I wouldn't have put them in in the first place. 💜

Without making you all endure any more of my "propensity towards verbosity," I present chapter 3: Tenacity (complete with hand-written letters!)

Summary: After agreeing to try to re-establish their friendship/relationship by writing letters back and forth, Tav and Gale set out on their journey of communicating, listening, and healing. You better believe they're both going to hold on for dear life.

Word Count: 8,289 (I'm not sorry.)

CW: References to depression, alcoholism

Tags: GalexTav, angst/fluff, pre-established (albeit rocky) relationship, future smut? (no spoilers...), brief mention of infertility (in a positive way??), depresso espresso, communication, healing, Tara's getting ALL the tuna.

[I'm sure I left some out, I'll come back and add to it once I get this on AO3 - coming soon!!]

Screenshot: Taken from my own gameplay. Please do not re-post as your own.

NOTE: For those who don't want to read Tav's mediocre (but improving) handwriting or Gale's flowy cursive, the text version is printed below each letter (including doodle descriptions!)

9/2 4:45PM Pacific - EDIT FOR MORE NOTES:

My underlines went away when I copy/pasta'd from GoogleDocs, and now I realize that you can't underline because of links, so they're bolded and italicized instead.

REGARDING BHAALSPAWN INFERTILITY - this is NOT canon to BG3/DnD/Forgotten Realms. I totally made this up to fit my literary needs. 😉

Alpydk's chapter 1: Consequences

Chapter 2: Acquiescence

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav assessed herself before she even opened her eyes. Between the wine and the crying, she was probably the most dehydrated person in all of Faerûn. The pounding headache she was used to. She'd made blackout curtains for a reason, after all. But the soul-wrenching nausea, that was new.

Being blissfully infertile, she knew there was no risk of pregnancy. One of her permanent "gifts" as Bhaal's former Chosen was the ability to be as promiscuous as she pleased without fear of pregnancy in order to weasel her way into the hearts, minds, and pants of any of her previous victims. Not that she'd needed that ability since the Nautiloid, or especially her subsequent severing from said god. But this was no ordinary nausea anyway. It was coming from somewhere much more complex.

Among the growing list of sensations Tav noticed from her downward-facing zombie position on the couch, she found two long-lost friends: the physical feeling of being simultaneously sated but also achingly empty in her core, and...hope. Surprisingly enough, she realized it was the latter that brought on the nausea.

Crippling anxiety, overwhelming depression, stabbing guilt, these are feelings she was familiar with and knew how to handle: with denial and alcohol. Just ball it up and shove it in the "future ulcer" pocket by the stomach and cover it up with a bottle of wine or two.

Hope, on the other hand, is a fickle bitch. It introduces the possibility of a better future. The idea that things could get better. Then comes the uncertainty.

‘Desirable things in life are never guaranteed,’ she told herself. ‘You can always lose them. Don't get TOO comfortable! You might still have to live the rest of your life without the man you truly believe is your soulmate.’

Tav had NEVER believed in the idea of a ‘soulmate’ before. That was even more laughable than ‘love at first sight.’ But she’d come to believe it now.

‘And you fucked it up, didn't you? You let yourself have the worst lapse in judgment, then you doubled down on it by screaming and being a hurtful wretch. You did this. You did this and you don’t deserve forgiveness, you don’t deserve mercy. No one else will ever fill the hole in your heart, so you’re going to die alone and unloved. That’s what you deserve.’  

The words from the voice in her head kept playing on a loop for the last six months and they wouldn’t shut up. Drowning them out with wine and sleep had become her modus operandi. There’d been nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. It was the way things were going to be, she’d accepted it. Especially in the last few months after Waterdeep. She couldn’t have her heart broken again if she didn’t expect anything.

But now, new words were taking up space in her brain. His words.

‘…there was a time that we’d also brought out the best in each other, once. I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

‘Fuck.’ Those words had stolen her breath. Given her reason to think that there was a chance. That maybe he would give her the mercy she knew she didn’t deserve. Gale was just that kind of man.

If that were truly the case, though, why did he shut her out so quickly in the first place without getting to even talk about things. Why did he go straight to the biting comments and yelling instead of showing any kind of signs of forgiveness being a possibility.

‘Because you ripped out his heart that was already broken and threw it on the ground with all the remains of any self-confidence he had left after Mystra, you inconsiderate, unfaithful monster. It’s a wonder he’s still alive.’

These were the new conversations Tav now had running back and forth in her head and that’s where the source of the nausea was seated. In the unknown future where happiness still existed. Along the path that could go to life-long depression and loneliness or a blissful existence with the man who completed her, and she wouldn’t know which way she’d end up traveling until she got there. It was terrifying.

‘I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

Face still mashed in the couch pillow, she balled up her fist and slammed it down into the cushion. Depression wasn’t going to win today. Or any other day, for that matter, at least not like it had been. She would not allow herself to be swept up in the waves of self-loathing and doubt to the point of being non-functional. Not anymore.

She took a deep breath and sat up, eyes still closed. There was a warmth on her face that she knew would be the late-morning sun coming in through the living room window. As she cracked her eyes open, she winced as the light seared into her brain and fired off pain signals. Slowly, she stood up, walked across the room, and felt around for the blackout curtains.

Medicine. Shower. Food. In that order.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Looking around the room later that day, Tav felt pretty proud of herself. Once she got herself cleaned, fed, and a bit more clear-headed, she opened the curtains again and opened all the windows. Her little depression hole needed a good airing out.

Starting with all the trash, she got rid of the wine bottles, the old food, even the bin filled with dirt and burned clothing. After washing off surfaces and sweeping floors, she put all the books back on the shelf, keeping a box full of scrolls and a quill pulled out on her desk. One sandwich and two sinks full of dishes later, it was nearing night time, but she had one more task ahead of her: the letter.

She’d been chewing over words in her head all day, but she still had no idea where to start. How do you even begin a letter like this? ‘Hi, Gale’? ‘Dear Gale,’? ‘Esteemed Professor Dekarios,’? If the greeting was this difficult, how would she even move on to the rest of the letter? She knew for damn sure that she wasn’t quite ready to be fully emotionally vulnerable, especially with him (even though he’s the only one she should ideally be emotionally vulnerable with…).

‘Welp, might as well just start,’ she said to herself as she sighed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hi Gale,  [in the top right hand corner was a little swirly doodle with some flowers and leaves. Next to it was written ‘I don’t have fancy paper, so I tried to do something cute?]

I’m having trouble starting this letter, so I figured maybe just admitting that is as good of a place as any. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what you want to hear, I don’t know what will help or what will just hurt… Here’s what I do know:

-          I’m sorry. [there are tear stains on the paper here]

-          There’s no excuse for what I did.

-          I don’t even know if I know the reason for what I did.

-          I don’t feel like I deserve your patience, your forgiveness, your mercy, anything, really. Your anger is totally justifiable.

-          I don’t know who I was that night or in the months following.

Except, I do. I’d reverted back to the person abomination I walked away from. The hateful, murderous, evil, wretched thing I said I’d never be again. Yet, I can’t claim that I wasn’t in my right mind at the time either. I never lost consciousness. I was aware of the decisions I was making. I just don’t understand why I made them in the first place, other than I’d lost hope. I’d stopped trusting you. I’d assumed you were going to leave me and go back to Mystra or pursue godhood where you’d no longer be…you. [Next to this is a small sketch of a broken heart.]

Here's what else I know:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

[Below this was another item that was heavily crossed out, but you can make out the words ‘I still’.]

(this letter is a mess, I’m sorry. I’m just…flustered)

[On the right side of the paper, there was a list of four items outlined in a rectangle, above which was written ‘Good things’ – a question mark had followed this, but it was crossed out with an X. The four items are:]

-          I took a shower today.

-          I cleaned my house for the first time in weeks today.

-          I’m going to stop drinking for a while.

-          I’m exhausted and I’m going to bed.

It’s not ‘the letter of a lifetime,’ but it’s a start. I hope you’re well and that your students aren’t giving you too much of a hassle. Can’t be as bad as slaying a whole camp of goblins, right? [Here there was a small doodle of a goblin head, X’s for eyes and tongue sticking out, laying in a pool of blood next to a sword.]

I look forward to hearing from you. Take care of yourself, please.

-Tav

P.S. I’m working on my handwriting. I’m sorry if any of this is illegible. Not really a subject that was covered in “Bhaalspawn University.”

[At the bottom of the letter was drawn a curvy vine with leaves, flowers, and flower buds.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale swallowed thickly as he held the letter in his trembling hands.

‘She did it. She actually wrote, and it wasn’t full of anger and insults. It was a real, honest-to-the-gods attempt at talking.’

His eyes shimmered as he re-read two lines over and over again:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

His heart ached as he pondered the fact that she thought so little of herself. It made him remember his inner monologue after the debacle with Mystra and the orb. All Gale told himself for a year was that he’d made mistakes so huge that no one should have to ever bear the burden of his presence again. Anyone who showed any affection towards him, platonic or otherwise, was a fool who was wasting their time. They’d just end up being let down by this depressed shadow of a former Archmage. Knowing that Tav was the one now who truly felt she wasn’t deserving of forgiveness or mercy brought tears to his eyes.

He felt a bit lighter, however, at the implication that she even cared whether or not she was worthy of him. Not only cared, but was taking bolder steps forward. She’d apologized, she’d wished him well, she’s taking care of herself… Then it dawned on him that she’d gotten so low that a task as mundane as taking a shower was to be celebrated on a list of positive things.

Oh, did he remember that pit of despair well. He’d spent a year down at the bottom of it. Cut off from all outside contact, forgetting (or refusing) to eat, going days, even a week or more without bathing because he didn’t have anyone to see anyway. No point in expending the energy.

Now, however, Gale was at least teaching. That had kept him going. Even if he didn’t interact with many people outside of Blackstaff Academy, he was still getting dressed, going to a place with other people, and teaching Faerûn’s youth to harness and control the Weave.

But what of Tav? How often was she seeing others? It seems she had relocated after all. The return address is listed in Daggerford, a town not far south of Waterdeep full of retired adventurers, artisans, craftsmen, and farmers. A relatively quiet place compared to Baldur’s Gate, but still a city with plenty of opportunities. (And only a three-, maybe four-day travel from Gale. That would explain how easily she ended up in Waterdeep in the marketplace on that cold, rainy day…).

He remembered her telling everyone how much of a hero she’d been at the reunion party. What happened to her adventuring? Would she even be home enough for their letter-writing to be consistent? She’d made no mention of her activities, that was something he’d want to follow up on. As much as it would have previously brought him satisfaction to see her put in her place for everything she’d said, cut off from others and alone, now it just caused an ache in his chest.

The threads of his bitterness and rage had already begun unraveling. He’d been letting the truth sink in since the reunion: Tav had acted reckless and lashed out because she was scared. Scared of losing him. The thought of him abandoning her for Mystra or for godhood drove her to seek pleasure in someone else. Yet he hadn’t bothered to get to the root of the problem at the time. All he knew was that he had his heart broken. He had been betrayed. He had been ‘abandoned.’

He sighed heavily as the pangs of grief and remorse started to take hold. What a fool he’d been. A self-centered, arrogant, quick-tempered fool. But he shook those thoughts out of his head. This wasn’t the time to keep dwelling on what he had or hadn’t done in the past. Where the ball of anger had resided in his chest, just as roiling and hungry as the Netherese orb had been, he felt the tension had begun to break apart. There was still much healing to do, but now there was a little room for the patience and understanding he’d wished he’d displayed before.

He re-read the letter again, chuckling lightly at her doodles and scratches. Her handwriting had much improved, she gave herself too little credit. It was good to see she still had her silly sense of humor as well. She hadn’t been completely robbed of her beautiful qualities.

Draining the last sip of wine in his cup, he arose from his spot on the balcony and walked inside to sit at his desk. One thing nagged at him before he could start writing his response, though. Underneath the bottom list where she said she didn’t deserve him, she’d written something and then furiously scratched it out. He thought he might know what it said, but didn’t want to get carried away if he was wrong. Holding the letter carefully in front of the lit candle on his desk, he stared at the scratches, trying to piece together the words underneath. His breath caught when his eyes brought them together:

‘I still’

I still… Still what? I still hear the voice of the Dark Urge? I still won’t forgive you?

No. Given the context of what was said and the direction they were going, it had to mean only one thing. He would only allow himself to think it was one thing.

‘I still love you.’

Hoping with everything he had that it was true, he took another deep breath and pulled out a scroll from his desk drawer. It was his turn now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Tav, [In small writing to the right of the greeting, it says (my ‘fancy paper’ is at the academy) with a winking face doodle.]

Sometimes I think I’d prefer a good goblin massacre to a room full of hormonal teenage wizards learning to control a firebolt spell, but each day is a new adventure, after all! [After this sentence, Gale had doodled a flame, his head/hair with wisps of smoke, and in small writing with an arrow pointing to the drawings, (I tried).]

Thank you for your thoughts, and especially for your apology. I can’t in good conscience say that everything is forgotten, but I fully believe we are on the right path forward.

I would also like to apologize, because you deserve it. You are so much more deserving than you think you are of kindness, understanding and, yes, when I am able, forgiveness. I understand, likely better than anyone else you might know, how strongly self-loathing can take hold.

Which is why I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. I don’t know what you’ve been up to in recent months. I heard you telling the others about some adventuring opportunities, but I gather from your letter that self-care had gone by the wayside. I’m proud and happy to hear that you’re starting to focus on yourself. Yes, I agree with you: showering, cleaning, limiting alcohol intake, and even being tired enough to go to bed are all good things. I hope you continue being kind to yourself.

Admittedly, I’d fallen into a similar rut. While I get plenty of social interaction at the academy, my extra-curricular life has been…non-existent. I come home to my tower, I usually remember to eat, I grade papers, stay up entirely too late researching, and then attempt to get enough sleep to repeat that schedule ad nauseum. The cleanliness of my home, and myself, had been sorely neglected. But as you are focusing on self-improvement, I shall endeavor to do likewise.

Speaking of self-improvement, that’s where the letter-writing idea came from. Rather, through Tara’s efforts to help me during my year of isolation. She’d suggested I do some journalling to write out my thoughts and emotions regarding Mystra. Not only to get them to stop rolling around in my head, but to be able to articulate them. It did help, quite immeasurably, in fact. That’s why I’m so thankful you’ve agreed to this in the first place. I feel like it will serve us well. [A filled-in purple heart was drawn here.]

Actually, I can’t tell you how many letters I started writing to you in the last six months. I really did try. It just always felt…wrong, somehow. Like it wasn’t the right time, or my words weren’t sincere, or they’d fall on deaf ears. But I’m so glad we’re ‘talking’ now. I’ve missed you, Tav… [A filled-in but broken purple heart was drawn here.]

Tell me what you’ve been up to! Tell me your thoughts. Tell me any and everything you want to. I’ll be waiting to take it all in.

Yours,

Gale

[To the left on the bottom, Gale had drawn an open book with an ink pot and a quill. In the middle on the bottom, Tara had been drawn, wings outstretched, lying down, eyes closed, with a small note: (Tara’s sleeping on my desk and she’s adorable!). On the right under his signature, Gale drew a wand with sparkling stars and a curved line of weave making a flourish.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Gale – [Here, she had drawn a wand with stars similar to the one he’d put by his name in his letter]

Thank you for saying that you’ve wanted to talk this whole time. That makes me feel so much better. I never put quill to parchment, but I started countless letters in my head. Like you said, it just never felt right. [After this, Tav drew a scroll, an ink pot, and a quill.]

This does feel like the right path at the right time, but to be honest, Gale…I’m scared. I’m scared to put everything on the table again. With how much I got we got hurt last time we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with each other, I can’t go through that again. Nor do I want you to go through it again. [Tav had drawn two filled in broken hearts after this paragraph.]

It humbles me to think you feel I’m deserving of good things. Truly. I don’t feel like I am, so I suppose it’s good that someone in this world does. Your encouragement in taking care of myself is unexpected, but ultimately not surprising. That’s just who you are. I’m thankful to hear that you’re taking it upon yourself to improve as well. [Here, Tav had drawn some grapes and cheese on a plate, and to the right of it, a broom and dust pan.]

I fully understand, however, that you can’t forgive me, at least not yet. (I wouldn’t forgive me either.) Hopefully I can begin to earn it over time. I’m not going to sit here and defend my actions with trying to find solace in Mizora’s…experience. It wasn’t even fulfilling, if it makes you feel any better. (It won’t, I know you). It was just tricks of the mind and a devil’s words of promises for things I didn’t even desire. (Perhaps the ‘old me’ would have.) I regretted it immediately, yet it has marked me forever.

But I know that how it left me afterwards is not the point. The point is why I let myself go along with it in the first place. I’ve done a lot of thinking in the last months, especially since the reunion. Let me preface this by saying that I am not shifting the blame. I still made the decision to give in. However, after days and weeks of your near-obsession with the Crown of Karsus, I could see that look in your eyes. You couldn’t stop thinking about the power it could offer. Power that we know all too well would only corrupt you and change you. Then, your meeting with Mystra, introducing her back into your life with her deal to get rid of the orb for the crown… I could feel you slipping away from me.

[On the left side by the words Crown of Karsus, Tav had drawn the crown with a big ‘X’ through it. Near where Mystra is mentioned, she drew a scared ‘Mystra,’ identified as ‘witch bitch,’ being threatened by Tav with a dagger.’]

What I should have done was keep talking to you, seeking reassurance. I should have spat in Mizora’s face and told her to get the fuck out. [In this area, Tav drew herself spitting in Mizora’s face.] I should have sought solace in your embrace, in your words, in your love… But one thing I need you to understand: I was brought up my whole life to be let down. Every success came with a defeat. Every win came with a loss. Every gift came with a sacrifice. You were the most important gift I will ever have in this world or the next. I was positive I was going to lose it, so…I don’t know. I think maybe I wanted to push it from myself first before it was taken outside of my control? Mizora approaching me with her “offer”… She knew exactly what she was doing: giving me an “out” that she knew I would take because I was at my most vulnerable.

For all my accolades being a “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” and savior to many, I clearly didn’t have the strength to stand up to her temptations. I let her use the fact that I have major trust issues to weasel her way into my deepest fears and exploit them. I didn’t have a chance. It doesn’t excuse my actions, but I hope it at least explains them.

I’m running out of parchment. You asked what I’ve been up to. If it’s of any comfort, things are going well enough. I’m eating mostly regularly, I’m keeping up with the chores, and I’m even starting to finally organize some garden space in the yard. I’m trying to spend some time outside every day, and I’ve replaced the wine with various teas. They’re small steps, but they’re steps.

I don’t know if I’ve gotten us closer to any kind of resolution, but hopefully my words can fill in some of the gaps. I look forward to hearing your response.

Thank you, by the way, for giving me something to look forward to again.

I’ve missed you too. Very much so.

Humbly yours,

Tav

[At the bottom left of the page, she drew a cup of tea]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dearest Tav, [to the right of the greeting, it says in smaller writing (I apologize for the condition of this letter. It was rather difficult to write.) The letter is littered with smudges where tears had fallen and letter had been re-written over them.]

As I wrote my last letter and have been pondering your response, it weighs on me just how grave a mistake I also made. The blame for our downfall does not fully rest with you. (Let me finish…)

Feeling like you’re not worthy, like you made too big of a mistake to recover from; you know how familiar I am with those thoughts. Looking back, this means I should have been the one who was there for you the most. Yet I wasn’t. I was the furthest one away.

I agree with you that my anger was justified. I’d felt like I’d been told I wasn’t enough for you, which is exactly what I feared from the beginning. In my mind, you had openly told the entire world that Gale Dekarios, fallen Archmage of Waterdeep, scorned by Mystra herself, could not, in fact, make you or anyone else happy. You had to go find your pleasure elsewhere.

Where my mistake lies is in never stopping to think how much you had to have been hurting in order to find solace in Mizora in the first place. I don’t think I even gave you the chance to confirm you hadn’t been possessed, quite frankly. It’s no wonder your defenses went up immediately. My reaction, while potentially understandable, was absolutely awful.

I am so sorry that I never gave you a chance to talk things through before letting my hurt and rage take over. What I should have done was walk away and screamed into the void instead of at you before hearing any kind of explanation. I suppose I figured there would never be one good enough. Never did I think until recently that I could have possibly had something to do with you feeling pushed in that direction. I should have been more reassuring. I should have given you no reason to doubt my love for you and my dedication to you.

The possibilities that came with the crown had taken over my waking thoughts, and even infiltrated my dreams. Providing an eternal life without conflicts for both you and I sounded like the perfect solution, and I became hyper-focused. You had tried telling me that you were scared, that you didn’t want me to lose my humanity. I just still thought I was smarter and had this whole grand plan all figured out and you would realize it eventually.

[Before the next paragraph is drawn an infinity symbol, a heart nestled into the loops on either side.]

But I didn’t do enough to put your mind at ease. I didn’t help you understand that I wouldn’t have actually left had it come down to choosing between you and the crown. I never, never would have left you, Tav. As I shouted rather rudely before, I only ever truly wanted you. I assumed you knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, so I didn’t spend any time reinforcing it. I let my focus drift too far. Then, I left you scared and alone afterwards with no chance to explain. I, the ex-Chosen and ex-lover of a goddess, from whom he should have learned humility after his hubris, the man to whom you showed so much kindness and understanding and support when anyone else would have run in the other direction, I couldn’t even show a fraction of that back to you.

Taviela, my heart, I am so, so incredibly sorry that I wasn’t there for you. When you pulled me from that portal and later heard my harrowing tale of foolishness and desperation, you stood by me. You took care of me and encouraged me, and I threw that back in your face at the first opportunity. It will be a long time before I can forgive myself for that. But I humbly, honestly, and hopefully ask if you could ever forgive me. I understand if you cannot, but know that I will spend the rest of my life proving myself to you.

Please keep telling me your thoughts, Tav. I want to hear them. I need to hear them.

Repentantly yours,

Gale

P.S. I’m far too emotional at the moment to do many little doodles, but yours warm my heart. Please keep doing them. [A filled in heart was drawn here. He had also drawn a simple version of the wand and stars under his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Dearest Gale, [Across the top of the page was a wand, a wavy line of weave, and small stars.]

I’ve been staring at this parchment for at least an hour, but I haven’t been able to write anything until now. I’m sobbing at your words. Your insight about everything I put you through, the weight of what happened after all your hurts and insecurities from Mystra and the orb, the fear of being inadequate to me… That weight is almost too much to bear. I’ve berated myself for months now for hurting you, but the full impact never hit me until I read it in your words. I want to fall on my knees and cry at your feet and beg for mercy. But how could you possibly ever forgive me? I’m sorrier than you will ever know for allowing you causing you to feel that way again.

Also, to think that you are taking any of this upon yourself so strongly, I really don’t know what to say about that either. I still feel like this is all due to my deficiencies. My weaknesses. My fuck-ups. But I can understand where you’re coming from, wanting to take some responsibility. All I’ll say is that there is nothing to forgive anymore. I hold no more ill will towards you. We both acted like children throwing tantrums, but we were each already pushed to our limits and didn’t stop to think about, well, anything, really.  [Tav had drawn 5 filled in hearts here, along with writing (I don’t know what else to doodle here because I’m also emotional).]

It feels cheap to keep coming back to my upbringing, but it’s an unfortunate reality where I’m concerned. Everything was always a bitter fight of either words or daggers. There was no real “communication” to speak of. There were no “feelings” shared. It was all cruel lessons with harsh punishments. ‘Be a bitch, or get walked over’ was something I told myself a lot. I never truly learned to stop and step back and give things time to breathe. Putting myself in another person’s shoes is something I’ve forced myself to learn, especially during our adventures.

I have a confession to make. When I (literally) ran into you in Waterdeep a few months ago, it wasn’t just happenstance. I’d come there with a purpose. The downward spiral had begun weeks prior and I was nearing rock bottom. I came to look for you. To see if you were possibly even half as miserable as I was without you. I was certain you would be, and that it would give me a reason to approach you. We would be on common ground and might actually be able to talk. [On the right side of the page, Tav had drawn an open book sitting in a puddle of water in the rain. On the pages of the book it said ‘I’m sorry about the books.’]

But then I saw you. You were in the marketplace, smiling, making small talk with the merchants, even laughing with them. You looked full of life. You looked like you were doing just fine – without me. My heart dropped into my shoes and I’d considered just walking away, never letting you see I was even there. But something in me snapped. I apparently just had to get in a couple more digs before I walked away forever. That was childish and unacceptable and I’m sorry I put you in that position. (I don’t blame you one bit for the Hold Person spell, for the record. I deserved it.) [Tav had drawn the symbol for the Hold Person spell here, along with Tav approves.]

Please forgive me, but I’m emotionally spent. I think I’ll wrap this up to send in the morning, go sit on the back porch with a cup of tea, and just think for a while.

Still yours,

Tav

[Along the left side of the bottom of the page, Tav drew a small flower garden. On the right side, a cup of tea.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Darling Taviela, [On the right side of the top of the page was carefully drawn an eternity symbol. Inside each side was a heart – a G written in the one on the left, a T written in the one on the right. Next to it, Gale wrote:] (I’ve been doodling this a lot lately.)

My heart aches for you, for us both. You’re right. There’s nothing to forgive anymore. We were both stretched so far beyond our limits, no wonder we broke down. We both have acted out of turn, we both have put ourselves through the wringer, and we both built impossibly high walls around ourselves. I’m happy to say that I believe we can push those walls down now. I want to move forward in whatever way we can, even if that ends up being as friends (though judging by your comments, it doesn’t sound like that will be the case, but please correct me if I’m reading the situation incorrectly).

I have a confession for you, in light of your revelations regarding our “run-in” in the marketplace. It was all an act to save face out in public. The laughter, the ‘life’ you say you saw in me, the light-hearted interactions – they were all a façade. I was miserable without you, however angry I was. After that interaction, it got even worse. I felt awful immediately, leaving you standing there shivering in the rain. [Gale had drawn a hand getting smacked by a ruler with words in a bubble outlined in sharp angles: BAD WIZARD!] I couldn’t believe that, even though there was some provocation, that I’d still reverted to such a childish response. I sank further into my depressive state. I almost didn’t come to the reunion with our companions either, actually. It felt like more of an effort to get myself put together than I was capable of. Fortunately, Tara snapped me out of it.

Speaking of Tara, I’ve been working on getting her to be more understanding. I’m sure you have noticed that her protectiveness of me overrides any kind of empathetic nature towards anyone who has caused me even a lick of hurt. But she’s come a long way in understanding both sides of our…predicament. I’ll keep at it, for both of our sakes. [A trail of small paw prints was drawn after this.]

I’m pleased to say that I’ve been keeping up with the cleaning, [on the right side of the page, Gale doodled a robed hand holding a sparking wand next to two balls of dust that look like rabbits. Underneath was written, (dust bunnies).] I feel like I finally have a handle on my students and my lesson-planning, and I’ve found joy in cooking meals again. Too much time is being spent grading sub-par assignments in the evenings, I’ll admit, but it comes with the territory. My heart has been all the lighter in the last couple of weeks, and it’s all thanks to you: your words, your patience, and willingness to work on…well, us.

What have you been up to lately? Any more adventuring opportunities coming your way? Are you doing any traveling? I wonder if there’s any chance our paths might cross in the near future.

I’ll admit, my mind has been wandering to thoughts of seeing you again. I miss the warmth of your embrace, the sparkle in your smile, the feeling of home when I look into your eyes – I feel like a part of me has been missing since our falling out.

I was actually thinking… What would you say to coming back to Waterdeep for a proper visit?

Take care of yourself, my darling [a filled-in heart was drawn here]

Gale (no fancy drawing in my name this time. Just me, missing you.) [above this, Gale had drawn a side profile of himself from the chest up, looking down, eyes closed, a tear falling from his eye.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The letters had been going back and forth at a regular, weekly pace. It was about six weeks after the reunion, which already seemed like forever ago. They had come so far, and his words made her realize that she missed him more than she knew was possible.

However, when Tav saw the last question in Gale’s letter, she froze. Her chest tightened and her breath quickened. She got dizzy, her hands shook, and her mind raced, tears threatening to overflow onto her cheeks. She was having a panic attack.

She threw the letter in her top desk drawer, slammed it shut, ran down the hall, and pulled the lever for her shower without bothering to warm the water first. Fully clothed, she stood underneath the cold deluge until her breathing slowed and she could process her thoughts.

The nausea was back. She sat on the floor on a towel and just let the water drip off her. Tucking her knees up to her chin, she stared at the wall and focused on her breathing. She wanted nothing more than for Gale to walk in the room right now, pick her up, and hold her in his lap, caressing her hair and whispering comforting words to her until she felt better. But as much as she wanted to feel his arms around her, to smell his scent, to run her fingers through his hair and more, she was absolutely terrified.

All she could think of as she started rocking back and forth was that she was going to end up hurting him again. She cried and cried until she resigned herself to lying down on the floor and crying herself to sleep, shivering in her damp clothes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week went by and there was no response from Tav. Gale tried to brush it off, attempting to convince himself that perhaps she had gotten a chance to do some traveling, and was running behind sending her letter.

Nine days went by and his resolve started to falter. He replayed every word in his head that he’d written in his last letter. Was he moving ahead too fast? Did he assume too much? Did he push her too far? He ached to see her, to hear her voice, and to comfort her. But he could NOT let himself fuck things up again…

On the tenth day, he sent just a short message in hurried writing, requested for the utmost urgent delivery.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav,

I’m truly, deeply sorry if I’m pushing you too far. You don’t have to answer the last question. We can continue just writing if that’s what makes you comfortable. I’ll do whatever you need, but I cannot, I will not lose you again.

Please, talk to me, my love.

Gale [A filled in heart was drawn after his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sleep never found him that night. He let his brain run through every worst-case scenario it could come up with. Tears were still crawling down his face every so often as he saw the faintest colors of the dawn coming to greet the eleventh day. Thank the gods he had the next couple of days off for Midsummer…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On the afternoon of the twelfth day, Tav’s response arrived. Gale didn’t even go back inside or shut the door. He ripped open the envelope and tried to steady his breathing as his shaky hands held her letter. He let himself take a deep breath and fall back against his door frame as he read:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My precious Gale,

I am so very sorry for the delayed response and for making you worry. I don’t know what came over me, but when I saw you asking to see each other again…I panicked. I had a full-on panic attack, after which, I slept for days. I lost all track of what day it was or how much time had gone by. I kept picking up my quill and the words just wouldn’t come. I’m so sorry. Your words in the message I received today snapped me back out of it. Thank you for checking on me. [A filled-in heart was drawn here.]

Gale, I can’t bear the thought of hurting you again. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you. Believe me, nothing would make me happier. My dreams of getting to be near you, to hold you again, to be held by you, they are my greatest source of comfort. But we haven’t spent any time together in person since the reunion, and we spent months before that acting like completely different people.

What if we can’t change, Gale? What if seeing each other brings out all the anger and spite again? I can’t forgive myself, even if you have. I don’t know what to say – I can’t lose you again either, I won’t survive it. And I fear that I will become upset by something and fall back into my old ways of dealing with arguments: with juvenile pettiness and venomous words. I’m so scared…

In fact, I’m going to deflect now so I don’t dissolve into another panic attack.

To answer your other questions – honestly, adventuring hasn’t happened in a while. I was being truthful at the reunion when I said I’d been adventuring and helping people. But coming back from Waterdeep is when I started to shut everyone out. My house descended into chaotic messes that I didn’t have the energy to clean, I stopped eating regularly, I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day, and I slept all the time. I have enough money set aside that I can get away with not working for quite a while, but that won’t last forever.

The gardening is going well now though! I haven’t killed so much as a tomato plant! I’m growing flowers and selling bundles here and there. I’m also growing my own vegetables and some fruits, though I haven’t begun selling those yet. I’m getting the itch to start baking, however… I’ve found a great deal of fulfillment in creating (growing) some kind of life now instead of dwelling on the memories of taking it. [Along the left side of the page, she drew a tomato plant crawling up the side. Along the right, she drew a plate of danishes and a cup of tea.]

I’m so sorry again for worrying you. I just froze because I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ll get this sent to you as quickly as I can, but please tell me your thoughts. I’m hoping your insight can be of some comfort.

With all my heart,

Your Tav

[At the bottom of the letter, Tav drew the same symbol Gale had been doodling on everything he could: the eternity symbol with the hearts in the middle, one with a G, one with a T. Next to it, she wrote:] (I tried… Yours looks much nicer.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My sweet Taviela, [Their infinity symbol with hearts and their initials was on the top right.]

Thank you for explaining the reason for the delay. I completely understand, and I’m sorry to have caused you to panic. If I may offer some encouragement, however, perhaps I can help quiet your heart.

Neither of us are under anywhere near the amount of pressure and stress that we were at the time back in Baldur’s Gate. We are taking care of ourselves now as individuals, fully independent of others, and neither is a crutch for the other. This bodes well for quelling any fears of being too dependent on each other for our own good.

We’ve seen what damage can be done by careless words and actions, and we’ve walked back from that ledge – together. Now we’ll be more aware of the warning signs should we become frustrated with each other again. We’ve talked about what we can do to avoid arguments in the future, like walking away for a breather, should we need to. Lest you have any unrealistic expectations, please remember that we will become frustrated with each other and we will likely have some arguments. That’s only natural for any two beings that have a close relationship. But we have some experience now and wisdom gained. I truly believe that we can be better for each other. We can change. Together. [A filled in heart is drawn here along the left side of the page.]

If you are comfortable thinking about the possibility of visiting, I have a proposition for you. Some simple guidelines that will help keep us in check as we try spending time together again, under completely different circumstances.

-          I will get you set up in a lovely room at The Yawning Portal for one week. The bartender owes me a favor for clearing out some riffraff a few weeks ago. Then you can have a place you feel comfortable retreating to without feeling trapped in my tower, should you wish to get some space.

-          So as to not put too much pressure on either of us too quickly, we can have a date each day, but we don’t spend the entire day together (at least not every day). It may be midsummer, but I still have regular responsibilities with the academy that I need to see to. Besides, that will give us time to individually reflect on our time together and how we’re feeling.

-          At the end of the week, we can talk about how things have gone and what direction we should go at that point. We won’t pressure each other, and we’ll agree that we won’t be disappointed if one person needs more time than the other. Above all, we need to make sure our friendship stays in tact.

So, what do you say? Look! I even got Tara’s stamp of approval! [On the side of the page is an ink pawprint.] (Do you have any idea how much convincing it took to get her to put her paw in ink? I owe her tuna for weeks…)

I won’t pressure you, but if you’re amenable to this plan, we can do this as soon as you’d like – even next week. Having said all that, if you still want to take things slower and keep writing letters for now, I will fully support that decision and be delighted to keep doing so.

If you will allow me, however, I would like to make one last plea: I want to see you, Taviela. I need to see you. My heart aches for you and my arms feel so painfully empty without you in them. I long to curl my fingers into your hair, to hear your contended sighs, to be lit up inside by your laughter, and, when you’re ready, to make love to you and cover you in affectionate, healing kisses until every hurtful word we’ve ever exchanged is erased from memory itself.

I know you’re scared, my darling. But I believe in us. I believe things will be different this time around. I hope and pray to every god and goddess who will listen that you can find it in your heart to take the risk.

Come here to me, my love, and we can keep walking our way forward - together. [A filled in heart is drawn here.]

I eagerly await your reply, whatever it may be.

Yours always,

Gale [A doodle of a wand surrounded by stars is by his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav’s hands trembled. Gods, she missed him so much it physically hurt. Especially now that she knew how much he was missing her as well. Sitting at her desk, she re-read his last full paragraph with tears flooding her vision and heart filling her chest, not to mention a familiar heat between her thighs. She knew at that moment that her desire and her renewed trust in Gale Dekarios FINALLY outweighed her fears. She didn’t even need to think about her response. It was short and sweet:   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale, my love, [Their eternity/hearts/initials symbol was drawn on the top right.]

I’ll set out tomorrow by horse from Daggerford and will arrive at the Yawning Portal on Sunday evening around dinner time. I sincerely hope your arms will be waiting for me, because I’ll be rushing into them the moment I see you. [A filled-in heart was drawn in.]

Just don’t be holding a stack of books this time… [ Tav had drawn a doodle of a winking face here.]

Yours always,

Tav

P.S. I doubt we’ll be waiting long for those healing kisses… I know we’re going to space out our time together, but stay with me the first night? Help me “settle in” to Waterdeep? [Tav sketched a set of lip prints in the bottom right.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tears fell from Gale’s eyes, but happy ones this time. He could tell his cheeks were flushed too from her “P.S.”… He laughed at her jab about the books, then folded up the letter and brought it to his lips, kissing the edge she would have folded with her soft hands.

He had planning to do. 

[annaphoenix1994]

No Russian - 1

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

"Are you sure, love? I don't want to leave you here on your own-" 

"I'm sure, babe. You need time with your friends," She assured him after they had arrived back to their hotel room, Simon unbuckling the straps to her heels, impressed that she wore them the entire night. "I'll be fine. I'll make some popcorn and watch a movie until I fall asleep." 

"What if you need me? What if you fall or-"

She cut him off by reaching up to cup his cheek, knowing he was unsure about meeting Soap, Gaz, and Price at the pub for a last get-together before going their separate ways again. "I'll be fine, Simon. I won't fall or put myself into danger the entire three hours you'll be gone." She teased. 

"Are you sure?"

"Babe, I'm not a delicate wilting flower. I'll be fine. I'll be asleep by the time you get back. Unless you give me a reason to coincidentally decide to meet you at the pub if you have a lady friend waiting on you." She arched her brow playfully.

"You know that's not true, love," He huffed, hating how the first thought that came to her mind was that he was lying to meet with another woman. "They invited me for some drinks before we fly home tomorrow."

"I know, Simon. Alice told me before we left the ball," She giggled. "Have a good time with your friends. You need it." 

"I don't know about needing it, but I do enjoy spending time with them." He admitted. 

She hummed, "And to think you always had a cold heart." 

"It's cold, but I do have one," He chuckled, watching her twirl her hair into a loose bun after changing out of her dress, finding himself approaching her from behind, pressing a kiss behind her ear before she rested her head on his shoulder before turning around to face him, her arms around his neck while his hands made their way to her waist. "You always make it so hard to say goodbye to you." 

"I don't mean to," She giggled, placing a tender kiss to his chin - a small gesture and act of love that he cherished within his being. "You won't be too far away and I won't be going anywhere." 

"I hope not," He shook his head, placing a kiss to her forehead while he reached for his jacket. "I love you." 

"I love you too." 

"I'll call you when I'm on my way back." 

"I might be asleep, but I'll keep my ears open."

"I won't be out long." 

"Stay out as long as you need, Simon."

He flashed a weak smile, truly not wanting to leave her behind, feeling selfish for accepting the invitation of a final get-together without her, but he tried to understand as he'd want the same for her - to spend time with her friends without feeling like he was suffocating her with his presence. He knew he could be suffocating and didn't know how Kiera was so embracive of his behavior. 

Even though she enjoyed how "needy" he was. 

"I'll see you soon." 

"I'll be here." She smiled curtly at him.

»»-------¤-------««

Simon walked into the pub, seeing only a few couples before seeing his fellow comrades gathered at the bar, taking a seat next to Soap before ordering a well-desired glass of bourbon, savoring the burning sensation in his chest as it was well missed. Nearly a craving on most days. 

"All we need is Alejandro and Rudy." Soap chuckled, taking another sip of his drink, reminiscing about their first and last time together as a group at a local bar outside of Las Almas. 

"I didn't take the pleasure in knowing him, but I do know that he is fun at a bar." Price admitted, lighting his cigar and taking a long drag.

"That he is." Soap chuckled. 

"Was this before or after you went home with that mysterious lady of the night?" Simon poked at him before taking another drink. 

"Enough about the backdoor babe," Soap scoffed, rolling his eyes. The men chuckled amongst themselves. "You can't let it go." 

"Should've never come back gloating about it, mate." 

"What're we talking about?" Gaz furrowed his brows. 

"Nothing." 

"A dirty secret he shouldn't have asked us advice about." Simon commented. 

"Keeping secrets, Sergeant?" Price rose a brow. 

"Fucking Christ," Soap grumbled, ignoring the snicker both Simon and Gaz let loose through their lips. "See what you got him started about?" 

"I didn't start him on anything. Poor bloke just heard something he wanted to ask you about." Simon shrugged. 

"Don't you have a pregnant fiancé to tend to?" 

"I like the sound of that," He huffed, a smirk curling onto his lips. "Although she insisted on me going out tonight-"

"Sounds like you can't tend to her good enough, then." Soap snickered, attempting to prod at him for his poking jokes about his time with the woman he met at the bar in Mexico. 

Simon scoffed, "I lack no effort in pleasing her, I can assure you. However, I at least know she's a woman." He retorted, sending Soap's face falling back to a frown at his recoil. 

"Always poking the bear at each other, huh boys?" A familiar female voice sounded, a bottle of imported beer in her hand. 

Fucking hell, Simon grumbled to himself, knowing that the sight of Laswell entering the bar wasn't for a simple get-together. 

Something was about to happen.

And whatever it was, he knew Kiera didn't need to be a part of it.

"Laswell? You were the last person I would've thought to make a surprise visit." Gaz chuckled at her, watching her sit next to Price. 

"C.I.A shit, remember?" She arched her brow. 

He chuckled, tracing the rim of his glass of bourbon, "That's right."

"More like... creative writing."

"I'll never tell," Price chuckled. "Have you met up with Kiera since you've been here?" 

"No, I haven't," Laswell sighed. "Because she'll know I'm not here for a friendly face."

Simon's chest rose and fell in anxiety. 

He knew he wasn't going home anytime soon. 

And he didn't know how he was going to tell Kiera - or how he could tell Price that he wasn't willing to leave Kiera in a sensitive and vulnerable state of her pregnancy.

"What do you mean?"

Laswell sighed as she took a sip of her beer, licking her lips before she rested her elbows on the bar, "I wasn't willing to put thoughts into her head."

"You're making me nervous, Kate." Price sighed. 

"AQ, Iran, cartels..." Laswell began listing off. 

"Russians." Price added. 

"She was there for it all. Frankly, one of the best Case Officers to ever be in my command. I'd be lying if I said I could do it all on my own. Because now, we've got bigger fish..."

Price looked at her with a concerned gaze. 

"I did some digging on the Russians."

"Well, that's a dirty job."

"Ultra-nationalists ambushed that convoy Graves led, John."

"Kate, this is over." Price sighed, desperate to make an attempt to keep he and his team from deploying on another long-term project, knowing Kate's words were searing into Simon's mind, knowing that the hardest battle would be within his own mind - fighting to keep his focus on not just his work, but Kiera. 

"No, it's not. They're working with someone new. There's talk about nuclear warfare between Russia and the United States after we sent tanks to Ukraine to aid with the war. With not only this threat, there's an ultra-nationalist behind the lines pulling the strings."

"Who?"

Kate sighed, removing a polaroid photo from her jacket pocket, setting it face-down on the bar before sliding it over to him, looking away from him as he looked at the photo. "We don't know his name."

"Kate, he's-he's not new." 

He slid the photo next to him, Gaz looking at it next, nodding his head before sliding it to Soap, he too taking a quick glance of a new enemy before sliding it towards Simon, he being the only one to look at the photo for a moment, his gaze dark and full of the desire of revenge. Fucking hell. 

"Who is he?" 

"Makarov."