#the author is clearly a swiftie too like i feel you girl

[nicollekidman]

quite possibly my favorite pitchfork review ever…. the whole thing is good go read

[surftrips]

gorgeous

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n has been infatuated with jj maybank for a long time now and their paths finally cross at the annual bonfire.

word count: 1,063

author's note: 100% inspired by taylor swift's song gorgeous because who am i if not a swiftie?

Did you have a boyfriend? Yes.

Was it anything serious? No.

He was a couple years older than you and your friends, and you had kind of stumbled into the relationship by accident. He was new to the island and everyone had their eyes on him, and it felt good to be the one to call him yours.

However, now that the novelty of your new relationship had worn off, you found yourself increasingly consumed with a new infatuation: JJ Maybank.

So when you were invited to the annual Bonfire, you didn't hesitate to say yes, knowing that JJ would also be in attendance.

You and him had interacted a few times in the past. When you were younger, you went to one of those drive-in movie nights with him and the Pogues and he had touched your hand. It was dark, so no one else could see, but after that you couldn't stop thinking about the warmth of his hand on yours.

That was a while ago, and tonight you were hoping you could ignite some of that spark.

In order to be brave enough to go up to him, you had to get a few drinks in your system. So while your boyfriend was out doing you don't know what, you were slowly working up the courage to talk to JJ with each shot you took.

You looked at him from across the party and thought about how much you hated how cool he was. He was the kind of guy that everyone liked (except maybe the Kooks), but he got along with everyone else and always seemed to have a girl around his arm.

Hadn't he thought about the consequence of his magnetic field being a little too strong? How was any girl supposed to compete when he had a line of women waiting for their turn?

Anyway, you had somehow managed to reach his inner circle and were making small talk with Kie and Pope. You and Kie had been friends for much longer than the rest of the Pogues, but if she didn't know about your little crush on JJ by now, she definitely would by the end of the night.

The entire time Kie was talking to you, you kept stealing glancing at his gorgeous face. You hated him for it. In fact, you were furious that he made someone as confident as you feel this way.

You couldn't seem to say anything to his face, so you asked Kie if he had a girlfriend. "Why do you want to know?" she looked at you curiously.

"I don't know, just wondering, I guess."

"Well, the answer is no. You think if he had a girlfriend, they would let him flirt with half of the female population on this island?"

Pope added, "Besides, he is not the commitment type."

"I could change that..." you whispered under your breath. The fact that he was single was honestly worse, clearly you had a thing for catching guys that everyone else pined after.

"What was that?" Kie asked.

"Nothing!" You quickly downed the rest of your drink so she didn't suspect anything. "I'm gonna go grab another drink!"

Speed-walking away from what could've been an awkward conversation, you almost ran into a boy at the bar.

"Ah! Sorry!" You apologized and guess who turned around? Yeah, only the boy that you have been eyeing/avoiding all night, JJ Maybank himself.

His ocean blue eyes looked in yours and you felt like you might just sink and drown and die. Not to be dramatic or anything, but there was nothing you hated more than what you couldn't have.

"Oh, hey! Y/N, right? I haven't seen you in a while." He broke the silence that felt like ten years, but was probably only ten seconds.

"Yeah, that's me." Whenever you were around JJ, your usual extroverted self completely faded away. You completely melted under his gaze.

"Hey, where's your boyfriend? Last time I heard you were shacking it up with that new guy."

You tried not to act flattered that he was keeping up with your relationships. "Oh, he's around. Not sure with who or doing what. Don't really care."

He chuckled. "Care for a drink?" He offered you what was in his hand and grabbed another beer from the cooler.

"Yeah, thanks." At this point, you didn't know how much alcohol was in your system, but it still wasn't enough for you to speak to him like a normal person.

Not sure where this conversation or lack thereof was going, you avoided his eye contact and started to turn around back towards Kie and Pope.

"Hey- Y/N, wait." JJ gently grabbed your arm and pulled you back.

You felt like you were going to faint.

"How come you're talking to everyone here but me?"

He wasn't wrong. You were definitely known to be a social butterfly, so you had spent the entire night floating from person to person making small talk or just taking shots.

You snorted, "You should take it as a compliment."

Your answer seemed to throw him off, "What?"

What came out of your mouth was a surprise to you both, "I can't say anything to your face, because- look at your face! I hate you for making me feel this way... just being around you makes me so happy but it turns right back to sad when I realize that you're not mine."

You could see JJ mentally process what you were saying in his head. Out of all the girls he talked to that night, you definitely stood out with your boldness. He always admired that quality about you.

On the other hand, your brain was catching up to what your mouth had revealed and immediately regretted being so open to him. He was probably thinking about how drunk and lame you were being. "Listen- JJ, I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from. I'm just going to stumble my way home now..."

He stopped you before you made it another step, "No- hey. Will your boyfriend mind if I come along?" He smirked, having never faced rejection a day in his life.

You looked around and spotted your boyfriend with his arms around another girl. "You know, I don't think he will," you smiled, already making a plan to breakup with him tomorrow.