#the answer is that i'm very bad at following through with my plans lol

[terpia]

I think I may finally be ready to read Assassin's Fate. Reading The Left Hand of Darkness made my ROTE brainworms return something fierce, and as a result I started re-reading all my fav parts of all the Fitz books, as happens periodically. However this time, I'm mentally set to find out how his adventure ends (I mean do already have a general idea of how it ends because I've never been that careful about avoiding spoilers, but I don't know that much about specifics).

The only issue with that is a self-imposed one. I created the foolinandfitzin sideblog to document my way through re-reading the first eight Fitz books in the series before getting to the final one (as well as the Rain Wild Chronicles, which I also still haven't read - more on this in a sec). However, my liveblog abruptly stopped in the middle of book 3 - I tried picking it up again, however I decided I won't publish more posts until I'm fully done with the book and can be sure I will actually finish the liveblog this time.

I don't want that to stop me from reading Assassin's Fate, however I still would like to liveblog at least some of my experience of reading it for the first time. So my plan is this - I will read Assassin's Fate now and make posts as I go along (although you probs won't see them until I'm mostly/fully done with the book anyway). This will satisfy my current itch, but will not be a fully complete experience - since I haven't read the Rain Wild Chronicles yet, I expect I will be quite confused/lost by some of the things going on with the characters related to that series. THEN, after I finished Assassin's Fate, I will go back to the other books in the series, including the Chronicles, so that when I get to the Assassin's Fate again I can do a re-read with the full context of what happened in the Rain Wild books.

At least that's my plan for now - I definitely still want to finish my book 3 liveblog since I don't like leaving it unfinished, but may very well decide that I'm done with liveblogging the books after that, at least for a while.

[weird-is-life]

hii! So I've never made a request before- but I was wondering if you could write a sunshine!reader × spencer where reader is a but dimmer(less sunshiney? Idk lol) than usual? Something sort of fluffy and comfort like if that makes sense :) I love your work sm and i saw your requests were open so- <33

Hii lovely ty for the request🥰! And thank you for loving my work, ily😭 hope this is okay. Warnings: fluff, reader is a bit upset, mentions of food/drink, use of pet names(0.9k)

You come to work without your usual cheery aura. You greet everybody with a smile, but Spencer sees right through it. He can tell the difference between your real smile, and between this fake smile. I mean, he would be kind of a bad boyfriend if he couldn't differ them.

Spencer comes up to your desk, his hand immediately finds yours, "hi, sweetheart."

You look up at him, fake smile already plastered on your pretty face, "hi, Spence."

"Are you okay?" Spencer whispers, trying not to draw any attention to you.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just didn't sleep well," you respond way too quickly so Spencer knows you're lying right away.

"Really?" Spencer asks softly, trying to get the real answer.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Really." You form another fake smile on your face. But Spencer doesn't push you, he knows you'll tell him in your own time if you want to.

Spencer squeezes your shoulder lovingly, and lets you get back to work. And even though he isn't going to try, and force you to tell him what's wrong, he's not letting it go.

Spencer settles on the plan to try to cheer you up, even if just a little.

Spencer goes to grab a coffee to a little café near the Bau so he grabs a drink and some sweet pastries for you as well. He even buys you a flower, just one simple flower not a bouquet, but it's your favourite so he hopes that you'll like it.

As soon as Spencer gets back to the office he makes a beeline for you. You don't notice him coming, too focused on the papers, until the beautiful flower is right in front of your face.

"Oh," you yelp in surprise, small but genuine smile right away on your lips, "what's this?"

"This," he also puts the drink and the pastries on your table," is for you."

"For me? Why?" you ask a little confused, but Spencer already can see that your mood has been lifted even if just a bit.

"Just because," Spencer beams at you.

You raise your brows at him, "just because?" you giggle. Your giggle makes Spencer almost melt away.

"Yeah, " Spencer shrugs his shoulders. He would have bought you thousands of flowers if it meant that you would smile at him like this again. He overwhelmingly wants to kiss you, but he just can't kiss you in the middle of the office.

He decides that a little peck on your cheek wouldn't hurt. He quickly looks around, and then does it.

You cheeks go rosy, "thank you, handsome. This is really nice."

"Of course," Spencer smiles at you one more time before he leaves you be. He sits at his desk, and takes a sip of his coffee.

It's missing the very much needed sugar, even if he did ask for more sugar at the café It's still not enough. He goes straight to the small office kitchen.

You notice Spencer going there, and follow him. You can't believe how sweet Spence is. I mean, you know he's literally the sweetest person on the earth, but still it takes you by a surprise every time. It makes you love him even more everytime, too.

You swear, you were very close to crying when he brought you the flower. You haven't been feeling very well since the morning. It's just one of those days when you wake up with an upset mood, and there's no actual reason behind it. It's just this way sometimes.

You know Spencer noticed this bad mood. And of course, he's trying everything he can to make you feel better without being forceful. So you want to thank him again.

"Hi, sweetheart, need more sugar too?" Spencer notices you straight away.

"No, I just wanted to say thank you again, Spence," you say sheepishly.

"No need to say thanks again. I'm glad you like my little surprise," Spencer can't help it when you're around him, his hand immediately lands on your hip.

You try to give him a smile, but you just anxiously look at him, "I just... Y-you were right. I-I don't feel good today."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer softly asks in hushed voice, his hand starts to do circles on your exposed skin where your sweater has risen.

"Can we talk about it later?" You don't feel like talking about it right now. Especially not at work. You'd rather do it later with Spencer's arms around you.

"Definitely, lovely. You can come to my apartment if you want to. We don't even have to talk, we could just put on a movie or something. Does that sound okay?" Spencer proposes unsurely, he doesn't want to make you even more sad. He wouldn't survive it for sure. He's so used to your happy smiles and cheerful mood that it's weird seeing you so sullen. He doesn't like seeing you like this at all, it breaks his heart a little.

"Sounds perfect." You look at him like you want to ask him also something else, and Spencer doesn't even need to guess to know what to do. He's seen those puppy eyes on your numerous times.

Spencer quickly wraps his arms around you, instantly whispering sweet things in your ear, "I love you, y'know that?"

"I know, love you, too," you say into his shirt, already feeling a small amount of tension leave your body.

You stay like that until you are positive that you are blushing like crazy from his compliments, and until someone else comes into the kitchen for a coffee (you don't want to be another lecture about inappropriate behaviour at work, you leave that to other people).

[irazai]

. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 DON'T BE NERVOUS. OH DEAR, YOU ARE FEVEROUS ; a nakahara chuuya fic.❞

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . if you like, like this fic, i need a one page essay why lol.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; fem!reader, virgin!reader, senior!chuuya, virgin!chuuya, badboy!chuuya, fluff, nsfw, virginity loss, first time, unprotected sex, messy kisses, biting, choking, clit rubbing, squirting and yeah, that's all i remember.

do people sleep at night to not be aware of the beauty which comes after the sunset as the time after sunrise had tired them out too much or is it because sleep is an absolute necessity for one?

but then again, both factors are true yet not everyone is fortunate enough to sleep for some suffer from insomnia or some may be spending a night they aren't accustomed to, finding themselves in a situation they may have never faced before in their lives.

you fall in the latter category as you follow chuuya into his apartment, his hand grabbing your wrist as he leads you inside the door before closing it and locking it.

your skin feels like it's igniting in desire and ecstacy, his touch still making the ground beneath your feet to disappear and making you feel like floating on thin air.

"you sure you gonna be okay with me sweetheart?" chuuya's voice reached your ears as he turned to face you while leaning on the door after locking it, an eyebrow raised as he showed some hesitance but you immediately nod, taking a step forwards so your knee could softly bump into his while you grab his wrists, squeezing them.

"yeah, i rather be with you then with my neighbor anyway. my parents don't have any problem as well . . do you?" you ask as you stare at him with an ounce of nervousness dancing in your pupils and chuuya immediately shook his head with a smile.

your eyes fell on his lips which curved up but the small bruise on the corner of his lip was hard to avoid. yet you didn't ask him about its origin the first time your eyes fell on it and didn't plan on doing now as well, had it not been for him noticing your stare.

"it's nothing sweetheart. just a small scratch from a fight." chuuya tried to reassure you as he raised his hands which you were holding before placing your hands around his neck. his hands immediately went to encircle around your waist as he lifted you on your tiptoes a bit.

"why did you get into a fight?" you make sure to ask calmly so it would not come of as negative or offensive to the man you love and he hummed, making you walk backwards so he could lead you to his living room.

"couldn't help it, a guy was talking shit about you." he does not try to hide the truth, grinning mischievously before making you plop down on the sofa and looking down at you, "and i really can't tolerate anyone speaking shit about my sweet girl."

"so you punch the person?" you tease as you crane your neck to watch him take your bag to his bedroom before returning to sit next to you and he nodded, quite proudly too. "i do exactly that."

chuuya scooted a bit closer to you before laying his head on your shoulder and staring up at you, taking your hand to place it on his thigh, you squeezed it making him close his eyes and breath through his nose in pleasure.

"do you still talk to that bastard?" chuuya asked after a few seconds of a very comfortable silence but his voice only adds more to the comfort you are feeling so you nod while you lean back against the couch more but your answer makes him frown.

"why?"

"because he is my senior? he will tell the professor i'm ignoring him and being disrespectful. i don't want my professors to think bad of me by knowing i ignore a senior." you tell as your eyes fall down on his face to see him pout up as if you said the most unacceptable thing to him and maybe you did, the thought makes you smile.

"i am your senior too sweetheart but i would never snitch on my junior like that." chuuya muttered, taking your other hand in his as he carassed the back of your palm with his thumb.

"that's because his entire role is to guide me and give me tips and stuff as a senior who gave this exam last year, so it really won't be ideal for me to ignore him chu." you tell as you chuckled at finding the older man acting so sulky to be adorable yet equally humorous.

"boo, that's stupid. nerd." chuuya playfully scoffed, a smile on his face to let you know he only meant this in a humorous fashion and not seriously and you play along, pressing the pad of your thumb against the small bruise on the corner of his lip and he hissed, exaggerating his pain.

"don't do that!" he playfully frowned as he scooted away from you and placed his hand over his mouth to protect it from you, playfully glaring at you, "for this, you'll sleep on this couch tonight."

"no, i won't." you deny as you smile cockily and chuuya nodded to argue against your claim.

"nah uh." you tell again as you scoot near him and lay your head on his lap, "if i sleep on the couch, you sleep next to me too."

"no i won't, i'll sleep in my room and on my very comfortable bed." chuuya smirked though it disappeared as quickly as it appeared when you lifted his white t-shirt to reveal his stomach, the sight of the faint abs he has still making you as flustered as the first time but you push against your shyness to press your lips against his skin, leaving small kisses everywhere on his exposed skin.

"stop it sweetheart." he grits his teeth as he tries not to let his unstable breathing come to your attention and let you know how much he is enjoying the feathery touch of your lips on his skin.

"i don't want to." you mutter as you part your lips to let your tongue out, kitty licking his skin and the sudden cold and wet feeling of your tongue on his skin had him letting his head fall back against the back of the couch, his back arching slightly as he once again tries to make you back away.

"i am being serious sweetheart, stop it." his voice is low and husky as he raised his head, running a hand through his head as he stared down at you but he did not make a move until your fingers brushed past his crotch and even the slightest touch from you made him react as his thighs twitched.

"why don't you listen to me?" chuuya hissed as he grabbed your jaw and pulled you up. your balance became unstable due to this and to stabilize yourself, you placed your arms against his chest and chuuya only hissed more as your palms were pressed against his chest.

"do you not know how vulnerable you are right now against me? all alone with me, in my apartment, hm?" the attractive hum which left his lips had a great effect on you as you gulped, flinching a bit when his warm hands grabbed your hip to move and place you on his thigh and you bite your lip, feeling shy under his intense gaze so you close your eyes.

"you assured my father you'll keep me safe so i don't think you'll do anything to me." your voice is trembling as you speak and chuuya snickered at your naive words before he pulled your jaw to pull you closer, getting really close to your lips as he whispered and every time he parted his lips to talk, they brushed against yours.

"let's see if you still think so once i'm done leaving my bites and marks on you. have fun explaining to your father how you got them, okay? that or you stop being a brat right now." chuuya proposed but it wasn't really a proposal as he gave you only one choice, the other being a dirty fantasy but you both know it's too risky to make it into a reality.

you felt goosebumps rising on your forearms and nape as you knew his eyes were still staring and taking in your features but you did not open your eyes, your ability to make eye contact weakening whenever it's his pupils in which you have to stare at, so you surrender as you are aware of the arousal pumping through your veins yet you do not act on it due to the fear of being seen as desperate or ruining the smooth course in which things are playing by now.

"sorry chu." your voice is just as shaky as your breathing is and chuuya gulped at this tone which made butterflies to swarm his stomach and lower abdomen, the temptation of doing anything to you in the security of his apartment is strong yet not strong enough to overthrow his rationality. he only pushes his head a bit forwards and parted his lips a bit to let his hot breath hit against your lips, the action and feeling of the sudden change of temperature on your lips making your lips twitch which made it brush against his, making him breath out shakily like you.

"there it is, good girl." chuuya praises you and his own eyes nearly closed at how sensitive he is feeling with every brush of his lips against yours and he knew of his body and what it is feeling right now, this is why he pulled his head back and didn't kiss you because he knew of what his one action would lead him to do.

once his hand leaves your jaw, you open your eyes and immediately get off his lap to hide your own growing arousal as you look at him nervously and offer him a shaky smile which he mirrored.

"i'm gonna change into something more comfortable . . ." you trail off as your eyes followed his hand which he raised to scratch his cheek and he looked at you after hearing your words, raising his eyebrows in amusement as he seemed to get over his state quicker than you even if if was a mask of pretence to make sure you did not feel uncomfortable.

"who told you that you can do so? should you not ask me for permission first since you are in my house." chuuya grinned and watched you walk towards his bedroom, knowing his apartment very well due to visiting a few times prior.

"you may not know this but the moment i came here after the third time -- your apartment automatically became mine so basically i am walking in my apartment right now and so, i don't need your permission for everything." you teasingly tell while walking towards his room with the bag you brought which contained all your necessities. a smile made its way on your lips when you heard the melodious sound of chuuya cackling before he seemed to realise something and stood up, jogging towards you.

"fine, since you wanna act as if everything i own belongs to you -- why don't you wear my shirt to sleep?" chuuya proposed a bit too excitedly then what he would've liked to express but you only smiled and nodded, making him feel thankful as he looked straight with a very faint blush on his cheeks as he already pictured you in his clothes.

when chuuya opened the door to his bedroom, the cold surface of the door brought him back to life and made him to stop thinking about you in a way he won't feel proud to say out loud, he looked at you over his shoulder to see how you patiently waited for him to enter his room in case he needed a very short moment of inspection to approve of the state of his room, you smiled a bit at him and chuuya gulped, looking forward again and scolding himself mentally to think of something so perverted which he wanted to do to you.

your palms felt sweaty as you silently sat on his bed while he rummaged through his closet for the article of clothing he wore many times and thought just as many times of how you would look in it. you've been to his room before but this is the first time to be here this late at night and so, the bedsheets feel more colder then they normally do.

you grip them in an attempt to stop your palms from getting so sweaty and looked at front to stare at chuuya after taking in his dark interior and aesthetic of his room again and when you did, you bit your lip at the sight of his back muscles flexing.

chuuya isn't muscular but rather lean yet one could still see the results of his daily workouts and practicing martial arts since a young age when he does something which makes his firm muscles or abs flex.

as he leaned to find the t-shirt he wants you to wear, you notice his hoodie riding up to reveal his back, you never thought of yourself to be so perverted to get affected by such simple and normal display of skin yet here you are, body feeling unbearably hot at the sight of the flawless skin.

chuuya muttered a cheer as he stood up straight and turned to look at you, tossing the t-shirt at your face. you tut in disapproval as you grab the t-shirt and look down at it to see it being a black colored one which doesn't really surprise you considering his overall aesthetic.

chuuya bit his lip while he stared at how you opened the t-shirt and placed it against your chest to see if it'll fit you or not and he smiled when you looked up with raised eyebrows, the gesture being enough to tell him of what your question is ; why is the t-shirt so oversized?

"it's convenient." he muttered with a boyish grin, closing the closet doors without looking back yet the moment he does so, you are able to look at your flustured reflection as they have full length mirrors attached to them.

you do not think twice about his words before nodding, making him satisfied. he walked towards the bed to which you gripped the sheets hardly and watched him pick a pillow, you understood his actions and quickly spoke to stop him,

"are you going to sleep on the couch? don't." you breath out once you realize how desperate your words sound yet you can't do anything to take them nor do you want to, you focus your eyes on him to see him smile yet it doesn't contain any arrogance or playfulness, no, it's pure and simple. as if it were your words or the tone you requested in that made his lips curve up.

"why? won't that be ideal?" chuuya uttered  softly while his voice remained void of any kind of teasing or cocky tone, not even seduction dripped from his tone except for pure softness, giving even him a soft look on his face.

". . . weren't you the one who said this is your apartment and so it won't be good for you, the owner, to sleep outside on the couch in the living room." you found yourself rambling quickly as you wish for him to believe your excuse which sounds dumb and pathetic even to you, your ears felt like being on fire due to how desperate you are sounding by asking him to stay but chuuya decided to be generous today and so, he only raised his eyebrow to ask you to elaborate more on your words.

or perhaps he found himself enjoying the garden of pleasurable affection he is in, any and every signs of lust is no where to be seen for atleast miles right now.

and nakahara chuuya, the man who always gave and never even thought of receiving, found himself being showered by the raindrops of your care and affection.

show the hopeless a solid hope and watch them cling onto you for more hope and show nakahara chuuya genuine care and he will look at you as if you are the one who hung the stars and moon in the night sky, as if you are an entity.

which to him, you are for who could even love this man who doesn't see anything worth loving in himself if he isn't wearing the mask of attraction and mischief which usually gets people to swoon over him?

". . . it's really important for you to sleep on the same bed as me or it'll be dangerous." you continue to sink deeper into this pit of a terrible excuse your desperation caused you to dig and chuuya chuckled, covering his face with his hand to stop you from seeing the dumb smile growing on his face.

"why dangerous?" chuuya asked as he ran a hand through his hair and although he still wanted you to try your best to convince him, he placed the pillow back in its place.

"well for starters . . . . i need you to sleep next to me so i can feel protected?" you blink as you ponder on your words but when you look at the reappearing cocky grin on chuuya's face, you felt your entire body burning in embarrassment and so you grab the nearest object your hands could find -- his t-shirt, and you throw it at him. "fuck off, nevermind."

so you said yet why are you laying beside him with a mind running wild with thoughts but a heart running even wilder?

you turn to your side to immediately face him who is already staring at you and from the way he is biting his lips, you know he is at the same crisis as you and is not able to sleep due to the overbearing heat from the other's body and ones own sensitivity as this is a first time experience for you both.

chuuya's eyes racked down to admire the way his t-shirt is just as big on you as it is on him but for some reason, you look way appealing in it to the point he is considering giving it to you forever, his eyes then went lower to see the t-shirt ending at your midthigh after which your bare legs were at the mercy of his eyes and intentions but he wanted to see more even if he looked away with a blush the first time you stepped out of the bathroom after changing.

chuuya looked at you as he raised his hand to place it on your covered hip and what you immediately notice are how warm his hands are even now despite the room being cool to such an extent that you two are under blankets (mostly him since you have your blanket only covering a quarter of your body) --separate blankets to your displeasure, so you make the first move.

". . . . it's cold, isn't it? why --"  you paused upon suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed before looking down at chuuya's loose grey sweatshirt and you try to speak again once you find yourself not getting hot under his gaze, "-- why don't you come a bit near me?"

you raised your eyes again to see a giddy smile spreading on chuuya's face as a low hum reverberated through the chest and throat, your heart began beating in excitement and you nearly shivered when chuuya discarded his blanket and leaned on his elbow as he leaned over you to grab your blanket and cover both you and him with it. he inched closer to you and when his knee barely touched yours, your breath hitched as if you are afraid of letting it out and ruining this adulterous silence between you two.

chuuya's leg forced its way between both of yours as the hand on your hip inched towards your butt to push it, making you move just the tiniest bit closer to him and the smile on his face reappeared as he whispered, "is this better?"

his hot breath hits your cheek bone due to him laying on the same pillow as you to be extremely close to you and you found it hard to speak or rather feared speaking due to what the situation could lead to once the words who are the prisoners of the brain and heart, finds leeway through your parted lips, and so you shook your head.

chuuya pouted a bit at the lack of your voice which feels like cool to his ears like how coolness feels to a feverish body but he does not voice out his desire. rather, his hand crawls back up to your hip and he pushes the t-shirt up to feel your boots shorts and to push it upwards as well before he finally has your bare skin beneath his palm.

"what can i do to make you feel warm sweetheart?" chuuya asked and maybe it's the lump of arousal in his throat that is making his voice to come out sounding so low and raspy but you can not look away from the effects it has in the form of goosebumps on your skin.

"maybe rub my bo-body?" as a contrast to his, your voice is shaky and breathless and your words are spiraling in your mind due to your focus being completely on his hand caressing your hip and this is why you stumbled upon your words in the end.

you bite your lip when you see a small yet cocky smirk appearing on his face as his arrogant nature returns when he saw the effect he is having on you by a simple yet intimate touch. his arrogance now serving as a motivation for him to continue with his action and so he does by moving his hand up towards your waist and under the t-shirt.

"you sure? you've been eyeing me awfully a lot today." chuuya makes it known to you that he had noticed your behavior from earlier and you nearly whimper as you try to turn around but his hand and leg between both of your's stop your mobility, his knee presses down on your inner thigh and it had you gulping as you felt yourself grow needier and needier the more he pressed his knee down to ensure you won't turn around. this action of his is making you face your arousal that you were trying to ignore as you wondered if only you are the one in such a state for he looks way more composed than you if he is as well.

"you were imagining it." you mutter in such a quiet tone that for a moment even you doubted if he heard you or not but when he moved his knee a bit upwards, you knew he did. your chest rises up and down a bit and chuuya looked down with a knowing smirk before looking up at you again but he does not comment, rather, he lowered his body and leaned near you, grabbing your throat to push your face up towards his as he whispered right against your lips which made you shudder, "yeah? am i now?"

you did not have time to reply and neither the ability when chuuya pressed his lips against your's, greedily moving them and forcing you to keep up with his clumsy pace. your hands reached up to grab his shoulders as you tried to push yourself up to be able to kiss him better but he digged his knee deeper into your thigh while his hand, instead, moved upwards and towards your back as he tried to find your  bra strap and open it with ease.

his desperation for the same mutual release and feelings as you is made quite clear by his rushed and desperate moments. once your bra strap was unclipped, chuuya pulled his hand out of your t-shirt and grabbed one of your wrists to pull your hand down towards his legs.

you closed your eyes as chuuya parted his legs a bit to place your hand between his thighs before he closed his thighs around it and after that, he immediately pulled back from the kiss but did not move his head back, he tilted his head to have his lips against your cheek and muttured, "am i also imagining this?"

he taunted and kissed your cheek once, twice, thrice while he kept on tightening his thighs around your hand in a very cruel way to get you to go over the edge.

your eyes fluttered open and you looked at him with a rushed breathing pattern and shook your head to which he immediately released your hand, smirking again as he pecked your cheek again before he turned around as if you did not see the pink on his cheeks and his half lidded eyes or as if he did not open your bra up.

you stared at his back which mocked you and you looked down, slowly bringing a hand down between your thighs to touch your cunt and when you felt the sticky wetness through the cloth, you know you can not ignore the burning ignition inside your veins any longer for there is now physical evidence to make it clear that even if you wanted to distract yourself from these thoughts and engage in an act of harmless sleeping and perhaps cuddling with your boyfriend, you cannot.

so you try to bring it to his attention as you moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist which brought a smile to chuuya's face. said smile disappeared immediately as he realized one of your hand creeped under his sweatshirt and to a contrast to his warm hands, your's are cool.

chuuya bites on his tongue when your hand traces over his back and slither towards his shoulder blades between which you apply pressure at. he groans at the soothing sensation on his tensed muscles and looked down at your other hand wrapped around his stomach. he placed his own warm hand over your own and squeezed it to let you know of his silent appreciation and gratitude to you and this gesture of your's which he found very caring and adorable.

but he soon found out your real intentions when the hand under his wiggled out of his grip and he smiled upon finding your actions to be utterly adorable ; then the hand went under his sweatshirt and he let out a breathy snigger as he realised your true intentions when you began to rub your thumb over his stomach, trying to find the sensitive spot from earlier to tease him.

"sweetheart, are you not sleepy yet? should i tire you out?" he talked knowing you got the implications of his words when he noticed you inhale shakily, he knew his low tone had many and quick effects on you when he felt your legs move behind him to clench them, he assumed.

"what do you mean chu? i am just trying to warm up." you knew your excuse is not believable at all for your tone is breathy and shaky, making your voice sound a lot as if you are whining and it had effects on him when your voice cracked in between your words and his shoulders tensed.

"i know of a better and more fun way to warm you up." chuuya whispered as his hand also went under his shirt to try and find your's, he firmly squeezed your hand under his when he does and the silence formed due to your absence of a reply only urged him to continue with his elaboration.

"it requires your back to be pressed against my chest and . . ." he raised your hand through under his shirt and towards his lips as he kissed your fingertips, ". . . my hands all over your chest."

to put emphasis on his words, chuuya guided your hand down his chest and he smirked at how your palms got slighty sweaty before he continued with his relentless torture using a double edged sword as the more he teased and tried to rile you up, the more he did as well.

"i don't think that much is enough to keep me warm though." you quietly mumble for only him to hear your voice of boldness pushing past the shyness you usually display as you raised his shirt towards his shoulders and you placed a kiss on one of his shoulder blades.

his breath hitched in such a shaky way that even he realised how clear it is to realise how the kiss affected him and how unused he is to actions so intimate.

"y-yeah? . . . then i guess i'll just cover your hands to keep you warm." chuuya sighed through his nose at the way he is acting so nervous because your little kisses all over his shoulders aren't stopping for even once, you only hum against his skin.

chuuya licked his bottom lip which he was fooled by his nervous brain into thinking is dry, guiding your hand down his stomach and under the waistband of his sweatpants, ". . . is this better?"

chuuya whispered out as he teasingly trailed your hand (by guiding your wrist) up and down his clothed cock and he could feel the way your hand stiffened up, a victory for him to feed his childish desire to get you equally if not more flustured than he is.

but once chuuya felt your now warm hand (due to his gripping your's tightly) hovering above his dick, he felt his reasoning and self control jumping down the cliff and into the sea of lust as the waves hit against what is remaining of said cliff and trying to break it.

". . .  please chuuya?" chuuya was snapped out of his dilemma when he heard your shaky voice and he raised his head, looking at you over his shoulder to stare at you and let the cool realization settle on his otherwise hot body, as he stared at you to see you biting your lip and legs clenched tightly together to the point where even a third party could step in right now and could guess with a glance that you are turned on and chuuya truly pondered on how did he not realize this sooner, was he that invested in fighting off his own urges to not notice yours?

". . . please w-what sweetheart?" to fight lust is different when you've once submitted to it and it's different to fight it when it wants you to submit to it. you and chuuya fall into the latter category and so this is why his voice has lost the element of stability and composition it usually contains for all chuuya could focus on now is how arousal is ticking him and making his brain fry.

you parted your lips to reply but chuuya could see how instead of words, a whimper left your lips and you looked down, lips once again coming in contact with his shoulder and he almost cursed under his breath.

"i asked you something sweetheart, be good and reply." chuuya's tone suddenly turned firm as he still seemed to have some kind of control over his emotions and feeling still, but you didn't. and thus, upon hearing his firm tone, you felt yourself dripping between your legs and the burn and urge to have chuuya in between your legs, rummaging into you, got stronger and held you hostage.

"please . . . i want you in me." you whispered out pleadingly and the cliff of resistance on which chuuya stood, crumbled into pieces and as each small piece fell into the water, the water splashed up and hitted against chuuya's face, further edging him to go insane and to give in to his desires and temptations.

and so, he did when chuuya made you grab his semi hard clothed dick and made you move your palm up and down while he too grinded against the flat of your palm, his head dropped on the pillow as he let out sharp gasps and hisses at the sensation.

the lewd yet somewhat quiet sounds made you to cross your legs against each other tighter as you let out shallow breaths, feeling the heat consume your body in a rapid pace and if you don't get to release it soon, you feel like you'll be paralyzed but these kind of thoughts disappeared once you felt chuuya's dick hardening under your palm.

said man turned to face you and you never felt so disgusted by your thoughts as you do now when you saw sweat pooling on his forehead and your first thought is to wonder how it would feel like to lick it but the rationality which poked and wondered the reason behind these vile thoughts were forgotten when chuuya leaned forwards to push his head under your shirt, pulling down on your bra and tossing it somewhere on the floor, he rubbed his forehead against one of your breasts to rub off the sweat. you gulped.

"you are asking me for something very risky right now, sweetheart." the proximity, the intensity and the decendence to the sea of lust has an impact on chuuya in every way available and it was showing with the way he has no control over his own voice as his words came out with a growl.

but he did not let you talk, no. it's more as if you didn't dare to talk in the presence of the one you are deeming as an entity for how can a mere man look so ethereal in the midst of the night sky with only the moonlight falling on his face?

it is then and there that you wondered if this is a desperate attempt of the moon to touch and caress chuuya's face, as if even the celestial body could not come in terms with the fact that such a man who looks so exquisite wields the power and authority to make another human, you, grow speechless.

your body doesn't. your hands slowly grab the edge of your shirt as you try to pull it up as much as you can in this position where you are laying on your side ; as a silent approval of consent but chuuya preferred verbal confirmation in situations which you would be facing for the first time.

"are you sure?" chuuya doesn't look up but speaks against the fat of your breast and you hum out, looking down with eyes glazed with lust, your core throbs painfully when chuuya had raised his eyes to stare up at you like a tiger eyeing it's prey before pouncing on it.

"yeah, please." you nod but even these two words which would've been like water flowing in any other moment, required you to use most of your energy right now.

chuuya pushed himself up as he sat on the bed and looked at you, he wondered for a moment but when he looked down at your needy state and his own neediness growing, he knew he will not be able to walk out of this situation any longer.

so with a sigh that did very little to hide the excited smile growing on his face, chuuya tapped his thigh to let you know that he wants you to sit on it and when you raise yourself on your knees, you felt them getting shaky as you see chuuya run a hand through his hair and grip the roots as he wetted his bottom lip.

your one moment of hesitance led to chuuya grabbing your throat gently yet still tight enough to stimulate the exact emotion he wanted you to feel and pull you on his lap ; the moment the tip of his index and middle finger pressed down at the sides of your neck as he chocked you was when your eyes almost rolled back, this action of his being one you are very familiar with but not this strength he is excreting right now to make this moment sensual.

as a result of your feelings being skyrocketed due to this one move alone, you are not sober enough to grasp your stability and so, your hands land on his stomach, on top of his abs as you use his abs as a wall or pillar to maintain your bodyweight and not fall on him while he pulled down on your shorts before letting you sit on his thigh, you could see him carelessly tossing your shorts on the floor through your peripheral vision.

chuuya looked at you and smiled fondly when he saw you gulping as you look away from him, your inability to make eye contact with him has always been amusing and adorable to him and often is what he will use to tease you but right now, he remained quiet as he turned a bit to grab the bottle of cold water he usually keeps on his nightstand.

chuuya unscrewed the lid and offered the bottle to you and without any words being exchanged, you did what he wanted you to as you grabbed the neck of the bottle and brought it towards your parted lip to drink the chilled water contained inside. as the cold liquid flowed down your throat, it didn't satiate your needs or anything but helped you to be a little less bothered and a bit more composed than earlier.

"listen to me now sweetheart. now that you aren't that bothered anymore, take a few seconds to think if you really want to do this okay?" chuuya told as he took the bottle from you and screwed the lid on again and when he placed the bottle on the nightstand again, you felt yourself finding it hard to breath properly at the veins on his hands becoming more prominent when he streched his hand yet you obeyed chuuya as you thought and listed off all the pros and cons of what would happen if you would let the night continue in the path it is going in now.

yet it really isn't much of a surprise to either of you when you moved your hips on his thigh to feel some friction soon -- a silent response that your answer remains the same as the first time.

chuuya bit his bottom lip upon feeling the outline of your cunt through your panties and just how soaking wet you were but he wasn't rash, he gently grabbed your hips to stop you from grinding against his thigh to speak,

"you tell me if it hurts you or if you feel even the slightest discomfort or fear, okay?" chuuya lowly yet seriously instructed you and when you nodded, he rewarded you by slowly moving your hips back and forth on his thigh once before he paused again to continue,

"sweetie, listen to me. you know that i won't be angry or upset if you tell no, right? i don't want you to do something in the heat of the moment and then regret it later. so i will ask again sweetheart, are you sure you want this?"

"yes! . . . please?" you whisper out and chuuya sighed in what seemed to the moon as utter fondness. chuuya nodded, satisfied as he leaned forwards to capture your lips against his again.

and the moon grew shy and asked a cloud to cover its vicinity when chuuya licked your bottom lip to ask you to part your lips for him, his one hand leaving your hip to slide into your panties as he traced around to find your clit, being equally inexperienced as you.

a cloud covered the moon and blocked the moonlight from reaching the bedroom, your own hand slided inside your panties as you grabbed his hand and guided him to your clit. chuuya's tongue entered your mouth and teased your own tongue as he flicked and licked it, he pressed his lips harder against your's when you let out a whimper when his thumb began to rub your bud in a circular motion.

seeing as how chuuya played with your clit and rubbed it, you saw no more use of your hand so you pulled it out of your panties, rather holding his shoulder as you try to remain stable while he tilted his head to have a better angle to get access to your mouth, his lips around your tongue.

your eyes opened in a flash as you let out a loud yet muffled moan when chuuya pressed down on your clit before he began to rub it again, quickly and you closed your eyes again. you never thought that the mere action of stimulation could be so pleasurable that it would literally make you want to melt into a puddle.

you have masturbated but it never felt as good as when chuuya is doing it for you and maybe it's him who is making this entire experience more hotter or his wet kisses which now trail down your jaw and towards your collarbone that is making you extra sensitive to his finger.

chuuya pulled back before he could reach your throat and looked at your blissful expression, ordering lowly, "sweetheart. take your shirt off or i'll tear it."

you wondered if he was aware of how your cunt throbbed at his words and you quickly obeyed, grabbing the edges of the t-shirt and pulling it over your head. the action causes your breasts to jiggle a bit and chuuya groaned at the sight before he immediately attached his lips to one of your nipples.

the immediate feeling of his wet tongue and the cold temperature of the room made your nipples perk and chuuya took advantage of this as he sucked on one.

"chu- pleas -- ah!" you moaned out as your body leaned forwards on chuuya's when you felt the unexpected orgasm coming out of you, the small act of nipple play being the trigger for this sudden orgasm as well as the sensitivity in your inexperienced body.

yet chuuya's lips didn't abandon your breast even when you leaned forwards on him, he just grabbed your waist with one hand to keep you secure and his thumb continued to rub on your clit till your rapid breaths slowed down.

you weakly grabbed his biceps and pushed yourself to sit properly on his thigh again as you looked at him who finally separated himself from your breast, his hand which was inside your panties moved towards your labia as he tried to gather some of your wetness on the pad of his thumb.

chuuya pulled his hand out of your panties and brought it towards your other breast which he was not able to shower with his attention to rub his wet thumb against your nipple, he pressed on your nipple and dragged his finger across your areola. the slick which covered your nipple and most of your areola is a sight chuuya will remember for many nights to come as he found this sight which is a result of his actions to be a turn on.

"chuu . . . won't you do anything to me?" you whisper out as you are afraid to speak loudly and ruin this tranquility but chuuya had always preferred your voice along this tranquil atmosphere to be more soothing than the former alone anyway.

"what do you want me to do sweetheart?" chuuya breathed out, his chest moved in and out when he exhaled and once again, his hand reached down to rub against your slit through your panties. he grinned when he realised how utterly wet your panties were due to your arousal and cum dripping down it.

"anything you want." you breath out, your head lowered to look at him rubbing your cunt through your panties but it seemed as if he suddenly paused his action when you spoke up.

"anything?" chuuya repeated, "you sure 'bout that sweetie?"

you felt your body and cheeks heating up but you nodded, pushing past this shyness that he is producing in you to give the limelight to your lust which chuuya certainly took care of when he grabbed the underside of your thighs to lift you up and laid you down on the bed.

"please chuuya? how much more are you going to make me beg?" you looked up at him as he planted both of his hands besides your head and leaned down to peck your lips. his lithe fingers then moved to pull at the waistband of your panties and pull it down, you lifted your hips so he could do it easily and once your panties were pulled down to your knees, you raised one of your legs to pick your panties with your toes and pull it down, tossing it far away inside the room.

"did i make you beg me a lot?" chuuya chuckled as he asked you, he experimentally lowered himself and adjusted till his crotch was against your's and he pushed against your's and he immediately felt the urge to push his hips and to feel more of this newly found sensation itching at the back of his mind but chuuya refrained from doing so, trying to control himself. but how could he when you looked so preety when you nodded your head at his question, your half lidded eyes stared up at him and made him feel like what a greek god would when mortals would fawn upon him and his visuals.

utterly in admiration of the being which is partially a god and nervous to be in the presence of such kind, only a man could and who were you if not the one who worshipped chuuya the most and is chuuya really the one you trust your heart with if he doesn't prove again and again that just because his fists talks more then him, alcohol and wine is what energy drinks are to others in his age range -- does not mean that he is a stereotypical troublemaker. oh no, not when he treats you like a man of the highest caliber would treat his woman.

"don't worry sweetie, gonna spoil you tomorrow just as much as i am making you beg me tonight, yeah?" he rubbed his finger against your lip as he promised his affection and you hummed, parting your lips for him to shove his finger inside but chuuya didn't do as you expected him to do so, instead he blew a puff of air inside your mouth and watched as you blinked, overthrown by the suddenness and randomness of this action before your lips curled up as you laughed, somewhat embarassed.

"you are ruining the mood!" you whined as you smacked his chest but chuuya only sniggered on top of you as he raised his eyebrow in faux perplexity.

"what? no, i'm making the mood. you are just too used to all those porn and smut clichés to not appreciate my unique take on how to set a mood." chuuya playfully scoffed and leaned down to peck your jaw when you shook your head, denying with his words completely.

"just say you don't know how to get a girl wet chu --" your words were left hanging on your tongue when chuuya wrapped his hand around your throat and slightly pulled you up to speak directly against your lips while he pushed one of his knees against your bare cunt and nudged it to make a point before he spoke,

"oh i doubt that sweetheart. 'cause according to me, you are very wet right now." chuuya scoffed and you almost moaned for how can a single guy be sexy no matter what he does?

it's not fair.

it's not fair how he is choking you a bit roughly yet his eyes are making sure to notice any signs of discomfort on your face, neither is it fair when he leaned down to whisper in your ear and ask you what position would you feel the most comfortable in as its your first time.

neither is it fair for one single guy to hold love enough to rival that of a sea inside him but well, chuuya always did things exceptionally well and better then what's expected of him.

loving you is no different. he does it in a way that makes it clear that this is something only he can do and no one else can. no one else can ever will to be honest because chuuya nakahara exists only once.

and he is damn sure he is going to love only once and only you for as long as his brain could function to capture these moments between you two as memories.

"i . . . i feel kinda embarrassed so i don't want you to actually look at my face . . . you know . . ." you struggle to explain your feelings as you stare at chuuya's softened eyes filled with love and adoration, you could feel yourself leaning against the mattress even more if possible as his stare is literally melting you.

"so you want me behind you? is that what you are trying to say sweetheart?" chuuya asked for clarification and when you nodded, he smiled, leaned down to plant a small kiss on your lips before he climbed off you and instead, laid on the side beside you. when you tried to turn to face him, chuuya grabbed your hip to restrict your movements and instead, he, himself inched closer to you while he turned you using your hip, on the other side, such that your back was pressed against his chest and his hardened cock was pressed against your asscheeks.

"chu --"

"shh. why don't you keep quiet and let me satisfy you, hm?" chuuya whispers and how can one even think about being offended when it feels like a big honor to have your sentence cut off by him, to know he feels that his words should be spoken at the exact moment or they'll loose their impact or meaning but in your case, whenever chuuya intrupted you, it has always been for a cause that would make your stomach be swarmed by butterflies.

"hm." so you nod, breathing out nervously as you stare at the wall while waiting for your nerves to calm down or chuuya to do something to distract you from yourself and your anxious thoughts and he does as you expected but not in the way you expected him to.

instead of teasing you further or anything, chuuya wrapped his arm around your waist as he hid his face against your shoulder and murmured against it, "i  . . . am scared sweetheart. i  . . don't wanna hurt you, not even by accident."

oh, did he loose his mask of confidence now, now that he has you close yet your hopeful eyes aren't looking at him to admire him and is this why he is feeling so transparent? in this silence you always bring along that he misses in his otherwise fast paced and chaotic life? yes.

mumbled were the words that came from deep within his heart and moved you, your eyes softened as you smiled like a fool, something you do mostly whenever you are with chuuya. you look down at his hand resting on your stomach and you place your own on top of his as you bring it towards your lips to land a small yet sweet (as believed by chuuya) kiss on it.

"i was scared too till you admitted you are as well. now, i feel a bit better knowing we are both lame as shit at this." you chuckle as you admit to him and chuuya's hand (which was on your cheek as you placed it there) pinched your cheek when he heard how much he and his talking habits influenced you.

"don't curse." he playfully warned but smiled against your shoulder when he heard you sniggering at the irony of his words.

"i can do whatever i want, who are you to tell me what to and what not to do? hm?" you hum and chuuya gulped upon finding the sound emitted by you to be fairly attractive to hear, he did not let you have the last say though.

chuuya used his other hand to pull down on his sweatpants and boxers at the same time to save the time as he could feel impatience beginning to claw at his feet now that the fear is leaving through the same limbs after your confession of your sincere feelings in this otherwise sinful night.

"your senior and more importantly, your fucking boyfriend." chuuya muttered out and his voice came out low and mumbled as he was more focused on removing the clothes that covered his lower limbs and abdomen.

the voice of the greek god had always been something humans desired to hear once before dying but do they not think about what would happen once they do actually here it?

why, of course, they become the same as you -- addicted to the voice and who cannot go one day without reminiscing that voice which moved the grounds below their feets and made the air flowing through them to feel more cool.

"you do as i say, yeah? be my good girl, always." chuuya told, no, perhaps he demanded of you to always be on your best behavior for no one wanted to see you succeed more than chuuya.

he walked on a path filled with rocks and thus, he tried his best always to influence you on what turns to take as he wanted you to walk on the opposite road, one filled with rocks, indeed since no path is easy, but one which will have flowers to be admired and not spitted out blood to grimace at.

you nodded and as soon as you did, it was as if it's a reward for being obedient ; you felt the head of chuuya's cock poke against your ass cheek and you gasped softly, feeling your heart beat fastening and you patiently yet eagerly waited for his next action.

"may i?" chuuya whispered to which you nodded. he grabbed the back of your knee to part your leg and hold it up while you nod as you feel you cannot speak up as quickly as you would want to at this moment yet you do not want to wait anymore.

"i'll run to the pharmacy as soon as it opens tomorrow and buy you morning after pills, so don't worry, hm?" chuuya found the need to clarify to soothe your nerves in case this is what is making you feel so nervous but this was not the case at all, you nod, yet your nerves do not calm down as many thoughts appear in your head at the same time -- all of them have the same objective to answer what he will do next but none of these scenarios you thought could be compared to the real thing.

"i . . . am sorry, fuck, my inexperience is really showing up huh?" chuuya laughs as he clumsily rubs the tip of his dick against your folds as to gather some slick on it, he did not bother getting any lube as your cum would act like it already and truth be told, he feels to hot to actually wait another second from pouncing onto you now.

"never really thought you would be a virgin tho --"

" -- put it in?" chuuya intrupted you to lowly speak near your ear as he nudged his tip against your clit and you nodded quickly, shakily grabbing his tip as you marvel at the texture for a while, holding a dick for the first time sure feels weird yet you don't feel scared rather excited as chuuya's breath hitched when your fingers grasped his head. chuuya inched even closer to you as he buried his head against the crook of your neck.

"continue," he ordered and you shakily inched his tip closer towards your entrance as you nodded.

"'-- i don't know, you just don't look like the type to be one. i know i shouldn't assume things about anyone but you can't help but create a certain image of someone the more you --" your words were brought to a halt again as you paused with your actions now that his tip is aligned with your entrance, afraid of the pain it'll bring while pushing his cock inside your entrance and chuuya sensed it, dreading the same moment himself since the course of this night started but he had been scared for far long to manipulate himself with fake confidence and courage and so, he kissed your neck.

"wanna bite my hand to distract yourself from the pain? it'll disappear soon." he whispered to you and even though you shook your head, not wanting to feel better by inflicting pain upon him, chuuya still brought one of his palms near your lips and pressed the side of his palm against your lips because he knew you would soon give in.

your core burned again in desire and blinded your rationality which knew about the pain it would bring to have your cunt penetrated by his dick for the first time yet it was silenced by desire, your hand holding his tip shook as he you slipped it down to grab his length inside of the head, pushing the tip closer to your slit.

it didn't feel painful except a hit foreign at first but as soon as you pushed his length inside more, you could feel almost as if your muscles are tearing ; instinctly you closed your eyes and your teeth sinked into the flesh of his palm without you even realizing of doing so, a pained gasp leaving your lips.

chuuya couldn't dwell over the feeling of your walls suffocating his cock due to your teeth almost piercing his palm, it was a shrill kind of pain yet still had a subtle undertone of pleasure beneath it as chuuya is no stranger to punches and kicks and over the years of being so fearless of getting into fights, chuuya grew a great resistance to pain.

he took over where you left, both of his hands occupied by your body (one was being bitten, the other was holding your leg up to give him access to your cunt). he slowly pushed himself into you more as he thought it will be the best to go at a slower pace and drag the process out then going in quickly during the first time and taking risks.

you let out a faint sound of pain, your teeth sinking harder into his palm and chuuya too, hissed but continued to push himself inside you and stopped only when he was balls deep in you ; he once again hid his face against your shoulder as he let out a chuckle through his gritted teeth,

"fuck, are you trying to mark me or something sweetheart?" whispers are mere words but not so anymore when the one whose lips they leave to make a emphasis is the man whose blood is art and whose eyes are the spell.

and you will always fall for the spell, won't you?

the pain subdued and paved the way for pleasure to come sauntering in and this is when you realised the choked whines and pants leaving chuuya who felt as if he will cum just from the way you are sucking him in so greedily and suffocating his cock, challenging him to move and welcome pleasure to enter your body without cumming himself at the first thrust.

your teeth lifted up from the skin yet as a replacement, your eyes fell to look if your bite was too severe, a relief filled breath being exhaled when your damage was just faint teeth marks on his palm and the skin near it being extremely red.

before anything else could grab your focus, you let out a loud and surprised moan as chuuya suddenly pulled his dick out all the way till only the crown remained in your entrance before thrusting in.

you tilted your head as you tried to look back at chuuya but the same hand that once distracted you from your pain, now is also distracting you from looking at chuuya as he wrapped it around your throat to keep your head forwards for he knew he would cum if your eyes met with his, if he saw how much pleasure he is bringing to you.

he pushed and pulled as his skin slapped against your's with each thrust he made and you whined for how is it fair for someone claiming to be a virgin to be so good at this?

and so you let your frustration be known.

" -- you are so good at this! you always know how to make me shy or riled up so it's hard to, m-mhm a -- . . . -- ahh . . ., it's hard to believe you are a vigrin -- oh fuck, chu --" your eyes rolled back when chuuya's hand abandoned your throat to grab your cheeks and squeeze them tightly.

"what the fuck did i say about watching your language? you either do that or i fucking swear to you that you won't be able to speak even a single word once i'm done with you." chuuya roughly spat out as he closed his eyes, lips parted open to make way for soft moans to leave his lips while he continued to thrust in and out of you, his hand which holds your leg up in the air shook a bit due to the pleasure messing with him.

chuuya felt your walls clenching around him as he entered and left yet when the tip of his dick touched that one spot, he whined out as your walls squeezed him greatly and he paused, catching his breath and stopping the orgasm building inside him to reach its peak. he raised his head to look at you and you happened to sense his movements, opening your eyes which you didn't even realized shutted down the moment his head grazed near your g-spot and chuuya whined, cheeks heating up as he stared at you.

with his hand still grabbing and squeezing your cheeks to keep your lips parted, chuuya leaned down immediately to let his tongue inside your mouth, lightly grazing your's as he felt his saliva mix with your's and even dribble down your chin due to his one sided french kiss.

messy yet hot, the way chuuya likes.

chuuya pulled back soon, not bringing himself able to ignore the way your thighs tenses and relaxed as you waited for him to begin thrusting inside you again ; when he pulled back, a string of saliva connected his lips with your's and it made chuuya smirk, he leaned down to lick your bottom lip before letting go of your cheeks as his hand immediately came down to pinch your nipple between his fingers, wanting to edge you using your sensitive spot and you were too deep in pleasure to realise how his fingers shook too and how he whimpered and panted, feeling like he never did before but something he wants to feel regularly from here on.

"oh sweetheart, you are such a preety mess f'me. ain't ya? if one more curse leaves your mouth, i'll make sure to actually take my warning to you seriously, 'kay?" chuuya grinned as you whined out and with a cocky grin resting on his face, chuuya laid his head on the pillow again, beginning to thrust into you slowly yet deeply but not for long as once the taste of pleasure reentered into chuuya's body, his thrusts grew quick yet clumsy.

chuuya's fingers continued their assault as well, pinching your nipples, groping your breasts and lightly caressing them with a ticklish touch, all to watch you crumble below his finger and he dared not stop till your breathing quickened even more.

the saliva which still dropped down your chin and onto your neck is nothing compared to the pleasure flowing down your spine and stopping at your abdomen, where it playfully pulled on one end of the knot in your stomach.

the endless sucking of chuuya's dick by your walls had his thighs shaking as he moaned out softly.

chuuya's finger trailed down your breasts, downwards your abdomen and settled at your pubis before it once again trailed downwards and chuuya swore he only touched your clit with his thumb when you felt more pleasure travel down your spine and up your legs in waves, heavy waves.

these waves broke the knot in your stomach and you loudly cried out in pleasure and surprise when your body begins to tremble, the waves flowing from your head all the way to your toes.

so what broke the dam that is the knot of pleasure?

it was when chuuya lifted himself a bit to cling onto your neck and lick the side of it, the moment you felt his wet muscle touching your skin, your knot broke and the door of the dams opened, you loudly came while moaning his name.

chuuya watched with wide eyes in amazement  your body shook and you squirted. he watched, till he couldn't anymore and with one more thrust, he entered what seemed like the mortal equivalent of a taste of heaven.

"chu." it's how your voice cracked when you called his name immediately after your orgasm ended that had him quickly pulling out of you. thick ropes of white painted your back and ass as if it were a canvas for his paint. like his heart was beating fast, so were you both as you two panted, desperately trying to come back to reality after getting a short glimpse of heaven on earth and when chuuya finally felt the sensitivity and leftover pleasure leaving his body and leaving it in a relaxed yet weakened state, he let your leg fall (the one he was holding up the entire time) and raised his hand infront of you to let you know he wants you to grab it.

you do, sucking another deep breath in to calm yourself from this addicting high, you raise your hand to clasp it against his, fingers tangling against his pretty, lithe ones and you wonder when the moon came out from its hiding again to shower chuuya's skin with its light, making his skin almost glow.

"was it good for you? any pain? was i too rough? did i go to hard --"

" -- why don't you just come and kiss me chu?" you mutter fondly as you stare at your clasped hands before chuuya tugs on it, his other hand going to grab your forearm to turn you around as he immediately raised his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss again.

[soaps-mohawk]

So...

I've been doing some thinking about a couple of things.

This blog has grown considerably, even from its start and I appreciate each and every one of you so much. Your support never ceases to amaze me and I owe all of you a lot for giving me something to focus on this year instead of spiraling into insanity.

But

Things have gotten a tad bit overwhelming recently between trying to run the blog and trying to write. I find myself either having to ignore the blog to get writing done, or sacrifice writing time and energy to spend time on the blog and keep up with all the replies/reblogs/asks etc. Definitely not complaining, you all never cease to amaze me.

But, I am just one person and my brain only has so much power right now. So, I'm planning to take some (more) time off each week right now while I focus on writing and planning since we're getting into some serious plot stuff soon. So I'm planning to be on the blog three days a week for a while: Saturday, Sunday, and Thursday. That gives me some time to get some writing done as well as some time to rest my brain.

Saturday and Sunday of course to post the chapter and respond to replies and reblogs so I don't get super behind. Monday I'll have some asks queued up as well as maybe a few reblogs. I'll still use the queue Tuesday and Wednesday for reblogs/asks with spoilers as usual. Thursday I'll be on the blog answering asks from Monday - Wednesday as well as things I get that day. I'll queue up a few things for Friday since that day gives me a little break between to prepare for the weekend and posting the chapter.

I'll probably add more days as time goes on. You can still send in asks on the days I'm gone, but just know I won't see them or respond to them until later in the week. I already get behind by a couple days on asks anyway so that's not much of a change.

Don't feel bad for sending them either, I love getting all these asks, I just tend to get behind on days I spend more time writing.

The second order of business

has to do with my taglist. Most of you probably haven't noticed (which I don't blame you lol) but my taglist has gotten very big. Very, very big. It's just over 230 people right now, and I'm sure there will be others asking to join. It's quite time consuming to do all of these tags for every chapter (especially since we can't tag in blocks anymore) so I've been doing some thinking into how I can make it easier for me, and for you.

I know there's at least one blog I've heard of, though I'm sure there's more, that have made side blogs that they have people follow and turn on notifications for and just make a post on that blog when they post a chapter or fic, etc. I've been considering doing that since the taglist is a lot of work and time.

I've also seen blogs that have side blogs that just post chapters/fics and nothing else. I know quite a few of you only follow for the fic, so if anyone is interested, I could put together a side blog like that as well that you can follow and get notifications from instead of having to follow this blog and having to go through the probably 100 posts that I make a day 😂 (at least it feels that way for me)

Having a separate blog for the taglist too would allow me to schedule posts so I can have them come out a bit earlier than I get up for those of you across the world who stay up to read and have to wait for me to post in the morning when I get up (or later like today because I slept in). Of course Ao3 will get posted later because I can't schedule posts there, but at least for Tumblr I can have things post earlier.

So let me know what you think about the taglist side blog and the possible just chapters/fics side blog. Feel free to send in asks (anonymously or not) with your opinion. I might not answer them all (not tonight because my brain is fried and honestly i'm not sure if this is even comprehensible English) but I will at least use them to make the decision (or make a post with all of them and answer it as just one).

[dreamwritesimagines]

Sunshine hcs coming your way bc it's all I've been thinking about besides my own xmen OC lol

- After the whole ordeal at the diner Sunshine wants to learn how to protect herself a. In case Logan isn't there b. So she doesn't have to see Logan get hurt and c. So she can protect Theo against his dad in case he comes by :(. Either she takes up self defense classes or she asks Logan. If the latter queue Tension, flirting, blushing, and both being worried they're gonna hurt the other. I'm thinking it would happen when she would drop off Theo and she would ask Lo abt it and they plan to meet at the school? Or her apartment? Idk up to you. If the former I think it would be interesting to reveal her "secret nightly classes" in a way where she saves Logan somehow and he's has a "Oh shit that was hot I'm in love" moment followed by a "that was stupid I'm basically immortal you could've gotten hurt" lecture

- Logan hearing Sunshine singing for the first time when he does his nightly pace/ guard of the kids rooms at night (bc hes always scared the mansion is gonna get attacked again esp since Theo is there now) and hears her voice coming through the speakers of his phone as he passes Theo's room. He opens the door to find Theo asleep as his mom sings. "Bean? You there hon?" Logan comes in, turns it off speaker, and answers the phone. "You knocked him out, siren"

- I have a random thought of Lo teaching Sunshine how to ride his bike for some reason (maybe I'm just projecting bc I want to learn lol). I feel l Iike this would happen after they get together but early in their relationship? Again lots of Tension, flirting and blushing haha

- I also have a hc that Logans love language is acts of service and touch. So way down the line in their relationship he makes a point to learn how to paint Sunshines nails, braid/style her hair, anything he can help her out w while touching her <3

ANYWAY sorry for the rambles I will definitely be back at some point with more

HONEEEY OMG OMG-

I LOVE THESE HEADCANONS SO MUCH I JUST-

These are so amaziiiing! ❤️ Thank you so much! ❤️I am so inspired, let's have a HC for each of these! ❤️

Sunshine learning how to protect herself, this would be so good! ❤️ I think they'd meet at school because Sunshine's apartment is tiny, and Logan would be so trying to keep his shit together but being that close to her...😏

If Sunshine surprises him with it though! Like, she would definitely knock someone out before Logan could so much as turn around, and he'd be staring at her like,

"What the-"

"Did you see that?!"

"You shouldn't have gotten involved-"

"Oh my God, I should get a costume or something, I'm awesome!"

"Sweetheart, we've been over this. I can't get hurt, you on the other hand-"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm like so badass right now."

Logan walking around the mansion to make sure Theo is safe and Sunshine singing Theo to sleep MY BELOVEDS-

ALSO-

Logan comes in, turns it off speaker, and answers the phone. "You knocked him out, siren"

I

AM

That's me being feral😂

Sunshine would be melting and she'd be like,

"...Hi Logan."

"Hi sweetheart."

"I didn't know you were awake."

"Didn't know you were awake either."

"I'm about to go to bed, it's just that um, Theo can't sleep without hearing my voice, so..."

"Can't blame him."

Logan teaching Sunshine how to ride his bike asdfghjkl oh that would be hilarious😂 She'd be like,

"I'll get a cute helmet."

"Okay, but how about you learn how to drive first?"

"I have my priorities straight."

"The priority isn't learning how to drive?"

"It is but I can't decide whether to get a lilac helmet or a pink one."

Oooooh Logan's love language is definitely acts of service! ❤️ Like, even know he's trying to show it like that, so Sunshine would be smiling and going like,

"Oh wow, the big bad Wolverine..."

"You're not telling anyone about this."

"You're very sweet, you know?"

"To you only, princess."

"I'll never ever complain about that."

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

An intro to my blog; Witchcraft, tarot, and general unhinged energy.

Bare-bones/TL;DR: My name is Frog or Froggo, whichever you prefer, I use he/him pronouns and this is a blog dedicated primarily to my practice as a witch. I do tarot readings over on Ko-FI, as well as some on here that are donation-based (You tip if you want, but you don't have to.) Donation-based readings are temporary to promote the paid readings, and I'll be closing requests once I feel I have a decent amount of people interested (or if i find that it isn't working and I'm just instead giving free readings and no paid readings.) Send in an ask for a donation-based reading, or head on over to my Ko-Fi if you want more of a guarantee that I'll get to your reading/want your reading prioritized. Please check the bottom of this post for what readings I do/don't do before sending an ask.

Me:

I go by Froggo or Frog

He/him pronouns

Trans, panromantic, polyamorous, and just generally queer.

auDHD

20

Quiet sunshine and rainbows type of guy, until you get to know me and then suddenly I won't shush and I keep talking about psychological horror

interests outside of witchcraft include writing, Genshin Impact (I promise I don't associate with the fandom they scare me so bad), music, anime, and "weird miscellaneous facts."

My craft:

I've been practicing off and on for about four years, but I've been around witchcraft my whole life. I no longer consider myself a beginner, but I wouldn't consider myself a beacon of knowledge either lol. I know enough to be comfortable practicing on my own, and giving others a few resources. If I ever post something with inaccurate information, something that appropriates any closed practices, or something that is otherwise not advisable, PLEASE let me know!

My interests in witchcraft include Tarot/oracle cards, deity work, crystals, and working with dragons. (Although, that last one is very new to me so I have very little experience to share so far.)

My work as a witch has begun to shape out as involving things that others fear and reject. I personally find this hilarious considering that I used to be so scared of everything.

I work with Persephone, Hades, Medusa, my familiar, Loki, Apollo, Aphrodite, and Khaos. They appeared to me in that order, with Aphrodite and Khaos being fairly recent additions as I'm typing this. (5/12/24) Note that this is a list of EVERYONE I work with at all, and some of them (like Medusa) only rarely show up in my life currently while others are more active.

I have a sideblog about my work with dragons, @officially-other, but it's so heavy on UPG, identity talk, feelings, etc. that I keep it separate from this blog. It's brand new as of editing but I plan on it being completely transparent.

Things to expect from me: An unreasonable amount of witchcraft memes, lots of fun little stories about my guides/deities and interactions with them, general stories about my craft. My asks are open, but I may not always have an answer to any questions! See the "not a beacon of knowledge" bullet point earlier.

DNI: Racists, misogynists, trans/homophobes, ableists, bigots of any kind, pɘdo, I feel like I'm forgetting something but overall just don't be an asshole okay??? Plz???? Thank you. 16+ minors are okay, below that you can follow and lurk just please don't start a proper conversation. (/lh, lighthearted)

TERMS FOR READINGS

Yes I know this is a bit long. I don't require that you read this but I don't answer asks with problems that could be solved by just reading this. I am no longer doing readings for anon asks, so please be off anon. Paid readings and any Tumblr readings that tip/donate beforehand will be prioritized, but other than that please be patient- when I post readings, I often get a lot of asks that takes weeks to get through.

Readings I will do:

General readings

Love readings (PLEASE check that it doesn't fall under "won't do" first)

Readings with a specific deity or entity (Paid readings get channeled typing,)

Pretty much anything that isn't on the "wont" list. (I reserve the right to say 'no' if something is brought up that I'm uncomfortable with but didn't think to put below.)

Readings I wont do:

Physical health readings (go see a professional)

Anything that constitutes "mind reading" (instead of "how does [person] truly feel" try "what's left being unsaid" or "what do I need to know" type questions.)

Sexual readings

Readings on a voice chat/call (yet)

Deity Identification readings (just not confident in them)

future spouse readings for free (I will do them paid, I just do the free readings to promote + for fun, and future spouse readings aren't fun for me)

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 2 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You try to back out on being a debutant so you can stop taking lessons with Mr. Jeon but your mother is going to do everything she can to make you follow through Paring: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 2k~ Warnings: Like one cuss word but thats about it lol a/n: Let me know how you guys are liking this! I was planning on posting this later but I wanted to see if posting around this time would be better :) p.s. roughly edited lol

"Mom! Mom! Where are you?" I yell as soon as I get home. "I'm right here so please stop yelling, you know that there is no yelling in this household" she scolds. "Okay, then why did you yell at me when I got a bad grade on my midterm paper?" I throw in her face. "Watch your tone y/n I am still your mother" she retorts. "Now what is it?" she says quickly turning the conversation back to it's intended course. 

"I can't do this" I say and start making my way to the living room with her soon trailing behind. "Do what?" she sighs once we've both sat down. "This whole debutante thing, it's not for me" I say hoping it would pacify her but knowing for a fact that would never happen. "You're doing it!" she says, wanting to end the conversation already. 

"No I'm not!" I argue back "I'm not cut out for this thing. This life of high society and playing nice with strangers, pretending like you actually care about what they're talking about. I just can't pretend to be someone I'm not" I explain but unfortunately she'll have none of it. "Did something happen at your lessons today?" she asks, hoping to find the cause of my anxieties.

"Nothing happened" I huff, standing up and making my way to my room. "Obviously something happened since you always seem to have something to say about everything even at the most inopportune times" she says, obviously exacerbated by the memories. "Are you talking about the time I added staying alive to the set list at grandpa's funeral?" I question chuckling at the memory. 

"See this is exactly why you need those lessons. It's time to grow up, and if you're not ready to do that yet then I'll just have you get a job and start paying your own tuition so you can learn on your own what it means to be an adult" she threatens. "James said that he would pay for my tuition if I decided I wanted to go back to college. You can't take that away from me!" I argue and stop in my tracks, surprised and upset that she would even stoop that low. 

"Since you still feel the need to whine over small sacrifices such as these then it looks like we should probably start giving you some more responsibilities so you will grow up. Just take the damn lessons y/n, it would really make your father and I happy if we could introduce you to everyone properly" she explains softening her tone towards the end.

"But he-" I start, wanting to tell her what my instructor made me do but we're cut off by the sound of James getting home. "How are my two lovely ladies doing?" he asks while giving my mother a kiss on her temple. "Oh we're fine, y/n was just telling me how much she enjoyed her first lesson right?" she says giving me a stern face, daring me to say otherwise.

"Oh yeah they were great Mr. Jeon seems like a very nice man" I say giving him a half smile, forcing the answer out of myself. I hate lying to him, especially since he's been nothing but nice to me so far. A lot nicer than my mother that's for sure, so I would hate to mess things up with him. 

"Well that's great news! Especially since he called me just now and asked if you would like to take more lessons with him. It seems like he's taken a special interest in you and wants to really make sure you're set up for success. Would that be something that you would like?" he asks, thankfully leaving the decision up to me but with the glare my mother is giving me it seems like from her point of view there's only one obvious answer for this question.

"That works for me. Whatever you both think would be best is be fine by me" I say, doing my very best to sound as genuine as possible even though I'm dying inside. 

"Wonderful! He's asked if we could do three days of etiquette and two days of dance lessons during the week and on days closer to events we should do dance lessons on the weekend before the event as well. That schedule work out alright for you?" he asks while taking out his phone to no doubt sending a message to Matthew to contact Mr. Jeon tomorrow morning so he's prepared for my newly scheduled lessons as well.

"Yes that's fine but where will I be taking my dance lessons?" I question now confused as to why Mr. Jeon would speak to James about them as well. "Oh I didn't tell you?" he's your dance instructor as well" James says and leaves to his office to take a phone call. 

"No fucking way am I dancing with that man" I say turning back to my mother once he's out of earshot. "Did he do something that made you feel uncomfortable?" she asks, just now deciding to finally ask why I didn't want to take the lessons. "No he's just a dick" I huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Really, that's the reason? What did you expect? He's meant to teach you to act like a lady and let's be honest, a nice sweet approach isn't going to work on you" she says and makes her way to who knows where, to do who knows what. With how big this house is it could honestly be anything. 

~~~~~~~~

"So is he hot?" Jesse asks, clearly interested in how things went yesterday. "I mean I guess but he's too rude for me to even begin to pay attention to that" I huff, frustrated at the thought of him alone. "What's his name?" he asks, taking out his phone to look him up.

"I don't remember but his last name is Jeon" I say taking a bite out of my sandwich. "J-o-h-n?" he questions, confused at the unusual surname. "No J-e-o-n. I'm pretty sure he's Korean" I say and slide over to his side to see what he can dig up on him.

"Jeon Private Etiquette Tutor" he types in and hits enter. "Woah" both of us say, seeing how many articles and pictures of him with actors, CEOs and public figures. "This guy must be loaded" Jesse says, clearly stunned at who he's worked with. "And he's hot! Damn girl you really won if this Jungkook guy wants to see you five times a week" he says and keeps on clicking through everything he can get him hands on about him. "And seven days a week when there's some stupid event I have to go to" I groan just thinking about how many hours of my life I'm going to waste with him. 

"He's only 27, I wonder if he's single" Jesse says winking at me. "For me or for you because you can have him" I scoff making him laugh. "No take backs! Well, unless he's straight. Then you can have him back. No matter how heartbreaking that might be" he says, wiping away fake tears. "Sorry to break it to you babe but he probably wouldn't go for either of us" I say placing a hand on his shoulder and getting up to leave.

"Hey! Where are you going? We don't start class for another half an hour" he yells after me. "I gotta go change since he wants me to be 'dressed like a lady' when I come and I won't have time after class" I yell turning to face him as I walk backward for a second. "Alright, have fun Barbie" he yells as I get further away to which I respond with a shake of my head as I make my way over to my car. 

"Acceptable" he says taking in my form. "Although the hem is far too short" he says looking down at my legs again before looking back up and making eye contact with me. "It was all I could find on such short notice" I explain but unfortunately he isn't satisfied with my answer. 

"Excuses will get you no where, you either do it or you don't. I'm sure you could have put in a little more effort into finding something more suitable if you had tried. Let's remedy the situation by the next class shall we?" he finishes off sarcastically before turning his back to me and walking over to the sound system in the corner of the room and I take the chance to stick my tongue out at him in retaliation. 

"You do you realize there are mirrors in this room correct?" he asks, clearly not amused with what he had seen me doing. "My apologies Mr. Jeon" I settle on, not bothering to give an excuse this time. "But are you really?" he asks, walking back towards me slowly, his voice an octave lower, catching me off guard. "N-no" I answer truthfully, nervous with the way he stalks towards me with clear displeasure enveloping his entire existence. 

He leans towards me talking directly into my ear, clearly using tactics to show his dominance over the situation. "Let us be honest with each other then. It would be a waste of both of our time if we were to do otherwise" he say sending shivers down my spine and I hate that it's something I couldn't have controlled even if I wanted to. "Is that clear?" he asks, his warm breath hitting my neck making my mind feel clouded, leaving me confused on how to respond to him leaving me only being able to nod in response.

"Good" he says leaning back, giving what I had hoped for was a little more room to breathe. "Next time use your words" he says tilting my chin up just as he had done at my last lesson. "Yes Mr. Jeon" I say quietly, leaving him satisfied with my cooperation and straightening back up to go back to what he had been working on.

'What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? What THE FUCK was that?' I ask myself over and over and over again. I'm startled out of my circular train of thought and am met with what I can assume is some sort of waltz music running through the twin speakers on either side of the wall that the sound system is placed against. 

"I can't dance" I voice out, sticking to my word and answering the question before he bothered to ask. "I thought as much, ballroom dancing is a lost art amongst the youth of your generation" he says adjusting a few more things before coming back over to me. 

"You speak of my generation as if it was much younger in comparison to yours" I respond crossing my arms over my chest in defiance. "Were you perhaps curious enough to inquire about me?" he asks finally turning around to face me, making his way back over to me as he had done before, having caught me red handed leaving me changing my position, holding my hands together and having them rest against my thighs.

"I had just assumed based off of how youthful you look" I respond, giving him a forced compliment, not wanting to admit to what I had done. Well, really what Jesse had done but again he would see right through me. "Haven't we agreed to be honest with each other?" he questions reaching his hand out and easily pulling my hands apart. Placing one of mine on his shoulder and the other held in his hand, leaving his free one to rest on my waist. 

"Do as I say and hopefully we'll come out of this without any injuries" he says practically daring me to make a mistake. "But of course" I say and straighten my posture to match his and follow his lead as best as I can. 

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[phaedraismyusername]

It's been forever since I've mentioned any books so I just wanted to shout out a few of my favourites from this year so far

Mapping The Interior by Stephen Graham Jones

This little 100ish page novella was my very first read of the year and I truly could not have started with better. It follows a 15 year old Native American boy who believes he sees his dead father walk through their house one night and his mission to recreate the experience to find answers. It's an exploration of grief and trauma, and whether or not these cycles can be broken

Horror Movie by Paul Tremblay

This is so not for everyone lol. I've read four of Tremblay's books this year and this is my favourite. This book is about a horror movie that was never released. A couple of decades later, after a few scenes and the screenplay made it onto the internet, the film has gained a cult following and the only surviving member has agreed to be a part of a much anticipated remake. This is told through excerpts of the original screenplay, the autobiographical audiobook by "the thin kid" and the current timeline of the film getting made. It's weird and uncomfortable and I ate it up in a single day

Sea Change by Gina Chung

Obligatory sad girl seeks peace entry in the list. Ro has just turned 30, works at a mall aquarium, and her boyfriend has just left her to go to Mars. Estranged from her family and sidelined from her best friends life as she plans her dream wedding, Ro spends her nights drinking sharktini's and generally making bad choices. The only light in her life is a giant Pacific octopus, Dolores, who she sees as her last real connection to her missing father, and what happens when Dolores is put up for sale. It's sad and melancholy but with a throughline of hope that slowly blossoms into what my heart needed to read lol

Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

I loved this so much. This book follows a Chinese American girl named Luli Wei as she breaks into 1930s-ish Hollywood and her journey to becoming a star as the monster known as the Siren Queen. I know that's a short summary in comparison but that's because the sale is absolutely in the vibes which are basically 'what if classic Hollywood was Faerie and make it sapphic' and if any one of those words appeal to you in the slightest then I beg you to try this one. I took out an American library e-card just to get my hands on this and it's best decision I've made all year. Please read it lol

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson

This audiobook y'all. The book follows Lillian as she reconnects with her childhood sort of best friend from boarding school who has written to her begging for help with her politician husbands two children when their mother suddenly passes away. Lillian, living the life of the persistent down and outer, agrees easily, it's just for the summer and she can't turn down the money, after all how hard could it be? There's one little catch though, sometimes the kids burst into flames. When I say this audiobook broke my heart and then healed my soul I promise you I am barely exaggerating. I'm sure you could just read it and it would still be good, but Marin Ireland's narration brings so much heart to this story that I physically cannot bear to recommend it any other way lol. If you only listen to one book this year then this is the one it should be

[plusultraetc]

My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising (2019)

THAT'S IT THAT'S THE MOVIE. Midoriya realizes the Shimano siblings are in trouble and is like 'oh no, the babies!!' Meanwhile, the pro heroes realize 1-A are in trouble and are like 'oh no, the babies!!'

Devastated to report that I am officially out of new-to-me MHA movies to watch, delighted to say that I could see myself rewatching any of the four in the future--these were a lot of fun, relatively self-contained, & super low-stakes! I think World Heroes' Mission remains my favorite, followed by You're Next, Two Heroes, and finally Heroes Rising, but as with most things in MHA, it's not because I didn't like Heroes Rising--I just liked the other movies even more.

I really enjoyed the opening scene of this movie; I had no idea the League were going to appear at all, and I've been missing them at their most chaotic recently so it was a really nice surprise! (Although seeing Nine in his creepy little tube was chilling knowing what's in store for Shigaraki in the not-too-distant future 😬)

Rock Lock slay 💅

MAXEY WHITEHEAD JUMPSCARE?? Her voice is so distinct--I spent the entire movie like 'Al???' every time Katsuma spoke. My Hero Alchemist. FULLMETAL ACADEMIA.

Actually, a lot about this movie felt oddly reminiscent of other series--some of the character design was giving Pokémon; the fight scenes were giving DBZ; and the two siblings living largely-unsupervised in a quiet countryside community, the older of which is a bit aggressive and the younger of which is voiced by Maxey Whitehead, was giving FMA. My Fullmetal Pokémon Academia Z.

As usual I found 1-A very endearing throughout. Their little hero agency. Their Hero Jobs™. Finding lost pets and helping farmers and acting as lifeguards at the beach. I think having Aizawa point out that being a hero is about more than just villain fights & big flashy rescues was nice, especially when he went on to talk about how important it is to get to know and build trust with the people you're helping. Also, I was just really excited to see Aizawa in the movie, even if it was for like. Three scenes lol.

OKAY. SO. I will be the first to admit that I occasionally need to watch something twice to understand what's actually going on, which I think is especially fair in a movie like this where so much is explained through brief, broken-up flashbacks. I will also be the first to admit that I don't understand Many Things about Garaki other than I Hate Him, but most especially his plan in this movie. Like. Was Nine essentially just another High-End Nomu to him? Was he a test dummy for Shigaraki's later transformation? Giving some random guy who also happens to want to take over the world All For One's incredibly powerful quirk seems like a risky move, and sure, it worked out for the League because Thing 1 and Thing 2 did a little power switcheroo and took care of the problem for them, but if they hadn't... what was the plan to deal with Nine? Garaki, never mind the rest of the League, could not have been stupid enough to think he wouldn't eventually betray them, especially after their experiences with other villains like Overhaul, so what gives? I know that the answer to these questions is probably 'it's not worth thinking about because it doesn't actually matter to the overall story,' but that's my secret, All Might. I'm always overthinking.

I was also super confused about whether or not Nine was called 'Nine' before he was given the ability to hold nine quirks. It seems that he was? Either way, I think it was interesting that the ninth wielder of OFA had to fight a guy called Nine who kinda looked like Yoichi in some scenes but had literally nothing to do with him lol.

I DID KINDA FEEL BAD FOR NINE NGL.I have a soft spot for characters with powers that hurt them, and at least he didn't actually kill the people whose quirks he stole. Like, yeah, he was trying to take over the world, but he could have also started murdering way sooner. And his final scene? I knew what was coming, but it was still an 'oof' moment even though every time Shigaraki does anything ever I go 'go little rockstar ⭐' in my head. The flowers were a cool artistic choice also.

'That form! He reminds me of Amajiki!' Somewhere Tamaki just doubled over clutching his chest.

Todoroki slay 💅

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I was delighted that Hawks was in this movie. I may have more thoughts in the future about the Commission sponsoring the program that put 1-A on the island, but for now, Heroes Rising gave me one of my new favorite two-second MHA scenes ever. I really loved how Hawks & Shigaraki were kind of investigating what was going on from opposite sides and with different information, and that moment when Hawks was standing on the street and Shigaraki was watching from above?? Hello???? That scene was included for me specifically so I would have at least one thing to go slightly and slightly-unnecessarily feral over, ty Heroes Rising. Every day I spin those two around in my head like a Skip-It that keeps whacking me in the mental ankle.

Sero slay 💅

There was a lot of 1-A tackling/lassoing/otherwise yoinking each other out of danger in this movie, it was really cute.

NOT USING KAMINARI AS A LIGHTNING ROD.

I mentioned this but. The DBZ of it all. That last fight with Nine was so bright and fast-paced and flashy I had a little bit of trouble following it, but it was still really fun to watch.

This isn't really a criticism, but I was So Sure that Mahoro was going to use her quirk to create an illusion of Katsuma as a last-ditch effort to distract Nine that I was genuinely surprised when that didn't happen.

Hawks continues (or I guess begins) his tradition of barging in at the end of the movie in search of his baby emo. He really said I will dig Tokoyami out of this collapsed cave with my bare hands. Insert the 'I'm a mom making a difference' meme here, etc. We actually had a couple of heroes show up to Find Their Mentees Specifically, including Queen Ryukyu, which was also very sweet.

SIDE NOTE: DID ALL MIGHT PARACHUTE IN? IS THAT WHAT THAT BIG RED THING WAS IN THE BACKGROUND??? I Love Him So Much.

Aizawa being Right There when they dug the rest of 1-A out from the cave-in 🥺 After the training camp and now this, he's probably never going to let them within a fifty-mile radius of a location that looks like it could be a summer camp ever again.

I'm obsessed with Midoriya being like 'All Might will be okay with me giving OFA away because it's you 😌' and All Might being like 'You gave OFA to... him?' and OFA being like 'You most certainly did not 😌' OFA truly the most 'no <3' quirk of all time. Iconic tbh.

[bestworstcase]

Sooo, I've been going through some of your posts, reading up on your personal opinions on certain characters I like. I'm trying to understand why you think certain things, so sorry if I come off as rude at any point. There's likely some posts I've missed lol

Uhhh, I'll be the first to admit that I don't agree with most, if not all of your takes, but regardless I find your train of thought pretty interesting cause you do make a few points I agree with.

One thing I wanna ask is- why do you see Ozpin as someone who's a needlessly paranoid religious zealot that doesn't understand Salems point of view and is demonizing her for basically no reason?

I've probably bastardized your opinion somewhere in my attempt to paraphrase it, but I'm really curious since your opinion is pretty much the exact opposite of mine lol.

Feel free to ignore the tangent I'm gonna go on, I just want to share my opinions and debate a little (I need a little mental stimulation lol).

Personally, I honestly don't see Oz as a religious zealot, or as someone who follows the GoL unquestionably. His first reaction to the GoL offering him his task is to say- "No." Oz, thinking Salem is dead, does not care about what the GoL wants or needs from him. And when Oz takes his task (which imo he was manipulated into by the GoL) and reincarnates, he immediately ignores the GoL's incredibly vague warning and goes looking for Salem. Not only that, but when he's asked by Ruby if he has a plan to defeat Salem/unite humanity, he says he doesn't. Plus, he actively refers to his immortality as a curse, despite the GoL not framing it that way. Oz deems his task impossible, and has thus given up on it. Imho, none of this says that he unquestionably follows the Gods. Maybe he had more faith in the beginning, but by referring to his immortality a curse, he's basically insulting the GoL's task. Oz isn't as vindictive or as hateful towards them as Salem is (at least not yet, with v9 and all), but imo he's definitely not fond of them, or at least doesn't hold them in such high regard anymore. The only reason why he continued with his task in the first place is because he was already there with Salem. He doesn't exactly have a choice now, and now he's given up with it, just trying to keep the peace. And, if Jinn is as unreliable as a narrator as you say and the lost fable is from Oz's perspective, it paints the Brothers as petty and manipulative and changing their mind at the drop of a hat. The same is true in the fairytales (which I need to read in full, I currently only know a wiki summary so my knowledge is limited, I won't lie), which Ozpin helps create. I really don't think these things would exist if Oz worshipped them so thoroughly and unquestionably. It's very likely he sees them as petty and manipulative brothers whose fights result in needless death.

I'd talk more, but I don't want to make this ask too long 😅 I think your perspective is interesting, even though I don't agree with it. If/when you answer this, is it okay if I reblog so I can share my own perspective more? It's fine if not, I just like debating (in a friendly, respectful way ofc) different points like this. I really enjoy Oz as a character. He's far from perfect but I think he gets a bad rep, some of it just being different perspectives and others being completely unfair. No one can agree on him so I have fun reading lol

you’re fine—& if you want to rb with your own thoughts feel free.

to start with ozpin’s paranoia, aside from the obvious factor that he explicitly does not trust anyone in his own inner circle and justifies keeping secrets on the grounds that every ally is a betrayal waiting to happen: there is zero evidence that salem has been waging a sustained campaign against him ever since the collapse of the ozlem kingdom. 

in the lost fable, ozma sees two beowolves attacking his settlement and assumes that salem must have sent them: jinn implies that he sees her hand behind every grimm, hence “her presence was always felt.” 

but… not every grimm in the world is under salem’s control. we know this. the grimm that attack the argus express are not hers—they’re wild grimm drawn to the relic. salem had no knowledge of where the relic was or that oz had reincarnated until hazel told her. similarly, the leviathan that attacks argus later is attracted by cordovin (the WOR episode on grimm implies that grimm are drawn to violence and violent emotion specifically). she didn’t send the grimm of mountain glenn to vale; she sent cinder to kill a child on international television to incite mass hysteria that attracted grimm in huge numbers. and during her siege of atlas, it’s noted repeatedly that salem’s forces have not advanced, but wild stragglers are trickling into mantle, drawn by the fear in the crater.

so ozma, in assuming that salem is the mastermind orchestrating every grimm attack in the world, wildly overestimates her actual influence and blames her for the natural behavior of the grimm. 

at the same time, over this period of time between their kingdom collapsing and the beginning of the story, ozma has been phenomenally successful in hiding salem’s existence from the world and erasing her from history. there used to be legends about her everywhere—the witch in the woods who commanded dark powers among the beasts and monsters—and those are gone. before ruby revealed her existence to the world, no one had the slightest idea that she existed. 

the only way for ozma to bury her like that is if salem herself did not do anything to draw attention to herself and stayed very far away from civilization. ozma is just one person, and there are significant gaps in his presence and influence whenever he dies and reincarnates. there is no way he could have kept salem a secret if she periodically razed his cities to the ground or made overtures to groups like the white fang on a regular basis. what she’s done in the story isn’t a pattern of behavior: salem calls the fall of beacon her first move.

and then in v9? this happens:

SUMMER: You know how Ozpin gets. Mystery after mystery… TAIYANG: And when it turns out to be yet another run-of-the-mill patrol, it’ll be— BOTH: “I always preferred discretion!”

during summer’s time as a huntress, ozpin regularly sent her and her teammates on Urgent Top Secret Missions on short notice in the dead of night only for them to turn out to be… nothing. yet another run-of-the-mill patrol. ozpin was fighting a war that salem didn’t start to dignify with her participation until she met summer rose.

<- paranoid behavior.

but the real uh, meat of this is the zealotry.

to be clear, i think that before all the tragedy, both salem and ozma were religious and had faith in the brothers—i’ve written plenty about salem’s religiosity in the lost fable so i won’t belabor that point, but she believed in the gods until they shattered her faith by, you know, condemning her to eternal suffering because she worshipped both of them. and i see no reason to think that ozma didn’t have the same faith. the same flowers that salem brings as an offering to the god of light are hung up on the walls of their home; this was a religious household. 

so. when the god of light wakes him up, ozma believes what light tells him without question—by which i mean, he literally does not ask questions. light says that humankind will rise again, a mere fraction of what their predecessors were, and that they if they are not changed when the brothers return, they will be judged irredeemable and obliterated. ozma does not question the truth or rightness of this premise. he’s frightened and sorrowful, but he doesn’t question the god of light’s implication that humankind, as it is now, does not deserve to exist and needs redemption. 

his refusal is not predicated on a rejection of the mandate itself, and he’s very polite and respectful about it: “i’m sorry, but that world just isn’t as dear to me without her. if i may, i’d like to return to the afterlife to see salem.” ozma does not want to be the one to do this—but he accepts without question the idea that someone must, and he deliberately leaves the door open for the god of light to command him to do it (“if i may”). he’s a religious man; he’s prepared to do what his god asks of him, even as he hopes he that he won’t have to.

(the god of light absolutely manipulated him—and he used ozma’s faith, ozma’s belief in light’s benevolence and just nature, to do it.)

and once ozma reincarnates, he actually does heed the warning the god of light gave him: jinn notes that he travels for years, hearing rumors about “the witch” wherever he goes, before he gives in and decides that “he needed to see what she had become.” the god of light told him that the woman he loved was gone, and what was left of her would only bring him pain, and he believed that because, again, he had no reason not to…

…until he reunited with salem. that is when ozma began to experience doubts, because while salem had physically transformed, she was still herself. still the woman he loved. she still loved him. she hadn’t changed; they rebuilt her cottage together and lived happily. and that made him uncomfortable, because it cast doubt onto everything else the god of light had said to him. if light was wrong (or lying) about salem, what else did he lie about?

“though time passed and all seemed well, ozma’s conversation with the god of light still lingered in his mind. he had found happiness, but humanity seemed more divided than ever…”

the stakes could not be higher; the fate of the entire world is on ozma’s shoulders. in his heart of hearts, he knows salem, he wants to believe salem, but… if he trusts her and he’s wrong, the world will be condemned to annihilation. so he’s torn. he can’t stop worrying about it. how could the god of light be wrong? why would his god lie to him? but he’s happy with salem. but the world seems more divided than ever and it’s his responsibility to fix it. what’s the truth?

ozma is an intensely anxious person. he thinks fear is the one truly universal experience because he himself is afraid all the time. in the lost fable, he’s scared of the happiness he finds with salem because he cannot. stop. thinking. about the god of light saying “man will be found irredeemable and your world will be wiped from existence.” but he’s also too scared to tell salem the truth, or ask her for help, because the god of light also implicitly warned him that she was damned. he can’t bring himself to leave her, but he also can’t bring himself to believe her, and if she is damned then he wants to save her, too, not just the world.

so he carefully raises “humanity is divided” as a problem he would like to solve, without giving her any context, and when she answers “we can do that!” he decides to just… go along with her first suggestion in the hope that he can eventually ease her into accepting the rest of the divine mandate. because he loves her. because he’s terrified of losing her, and his faith in the god of light is in conflict with his love, and he tries desperately to square that circle by redeeming her.

which fails, because salem’s faith in the brothers shattered long ago and she sees them clearly as the monstrous tyrants they truly were—so she rejects the mandate entirely and asks ozma to reject it with her.

here is the part where my interpretation of ozma depends heavily on my interpretation of salem, because:

i do not think salem was proposing genocide; i think by “replace them” she meant “replace the gods who demand redemption,” in accordance with her longstanding ambition of overthrowing the brothers, and

i think ozma knew that.

frankly, in my opinion, this is the most charitable possible interpretation of what ozma does when salem holds out her hand because HE HESITATES. he looks at her hand, frowning, and then his eyes flick downward and to the side as his expression crumbles into indecision. ozma wants to take her hand. he wants to stay with her. so either salem said “let’s kill everyone!” and ozma a) seriously considered it for a moment and b) did not challenge that idea or demand an explanation from her, or… salem made her point clumsily but both she and ozma understood what she meant, and what she meant was “nothing the god of light told you matters anymore, the brothers aren’t here, why should we spend our lives trying to redeem these humans when we could make a paradise without the gods, like we planned?”

(since you’ve not read the fairytale anthology, i’ll note that “what they could never be” is a paraphrase of the closing lines of the shallow sea: “And the descendants of the Humans who turned away from our god’s great gift have always carried envy in their hearts. To this day, they resent us for reminding them of what they are not and what they never can be.” just as ozpin uses fairytales to make sense of his life and ease people into his conspiracy, i think salem quoted from this old oral tradition to express her opinion of the brothers; like the faunus in the story, she chose to leap into magical waters and was transformed into something new, and she believes that remnant has the potential to be the paradise the “old gods” failed to achieve. she’s implying that the brothers are envious of remnant and resent these humans—and her—for reminding them of their failures.) 

then… you know, they murder each other and kill their children and raze their own kingdom to the ground. and ozma wakes up behind somebody else’s eyes, again. he sacrificed everything and it shattered him and now he has nothing left except the mandate.

was it worth it?

the answer is no. the answer is that this world isn’t as dear to him without salem, and if the only way to save the world is to lose her, he can’t do it. he doesn’t want to. until the end is his song. “to live free or die, it’s all the same/the enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming/in waves of shame/we’re desperate to make amends/but through a simple soul we lie complacent”—like. he knows salem is a person. he knows she’s right about the brothers. he wants to make amends, but he doesn’t believe he can, because the man fucking despises himself. 

in his commentary on ‘the infinite man,’ ozpin describes the man—himself—as both a hero and a fool who made such grievous mistakes that to some he is a villain, and suggests that he may not be worthy of forgiveness. in ‘the girl in the tower,’ the character of ozma is simply called “the hero,” and in ozpin’s commentary he says that “if you look far enough ahead […] heroes may turn out to be villains.” he isn’t talking about salem. he’s talking about himself. he sees himself as the villain in her story, and taken as a whole ‘fairytales of remnant’ reads like a tortured apology to her more than anything; he closes with a story about humans breaking the sun and creating the moon, and in his commentary: “[people] not only replaced the sun, a celestial gift from the all-powerful god of light, but also improved upon it through their own ingenuity.”

he thinks it’s too late. if he could go back and do it again, he would take her hand, but the truth is that he didn’t, and he doesn’t believe she will ever forgive him. no second chances. nothing he can do to make amends. ozma’s mindset is that he made his choice and now he has to live with that forever.

and it’s unbearable. it’s torture. 

after everything that happened, ozma clings to zealotry as a coping mechanism. in his heart of hearts, he has no real commitment to the mandate: he’s distorted it to be about salem. ozma sought the relics so he could use them to “destroy salem.” jinn told him he couldn’t; he proceeded to devote countless lifetimes to fighting an (imaginary) war against salem. he has No Plan. beacon academy is modeled after her father’s castle and ozma put his office in her tower! in her prison!!

his inner circle is a cult dedicated to the god of light and he built the academies as fortresses to safeguard his reliquaries forever and ever while he fights to protect the people of remnant from enemies like “panic” and “division” whom he represents with her face, her name, and the way he truly feels about All Of This is trapped. it’s been so long that he’s convinced himself that his lies are true—that she’s an inhuman monster who craves only death and revels in destruction—but he built her tower and locked himself inside.

ozpin lies to everyone. even himself. especially himself. the intensity of his guilt and regret drove him to weave an elaborate fantasy casting salem as the villain and himself as the fool destined to be her enemy, and he clings to it desperately because he has to believe that. he has to believe that she lied to him, too. he has to believe she’s the one who manipulated him. if it isn’t all her fault, if she isn’t the Great Evil, then his own choices have no justification.

the lying becomes so habitual, so ingrained that he lies without even thinking. why didn’t he tell the kids that the lamp might attract grimm? when they demand an answer on the train, ozpin freezes. he doesn’t have a real answer. he just… withheld vital information because that’s what he always does. a reflex.

the zealotry is of a piece with the lying. he had faith in the god of light—and he still believes that the gods will condemn and destroy the world if they’re summoned, and i think he believes it’s futile to fight them and that if salem tries they’ll crush her again, so he truly does not want her to try and he’s not lying when he claims she’ll bring about the end, because he believes that’s the only possible outcome of rebellion—and he believes himself to be beyond forgiveness. this is all he has, and the only way he can cope with that is… the fairytales. palliative fantasy. a story about a monster and the man destined to fight her. lifetime after lifetime until the lies seemed almost true.

ozma’s trauma is religious in nature. he’s a religious man who lost his faith a long time ago because his god is using him to punish salem and he hates himself because he fell for it, and now he thinks it’s too late. she’ll never forgive him. he can’t see a way out, so he clings ever harder to the mandate because it’s all he has and it gives him a shred of purpose in being her fated enemy. all he wants, all he’s everwanted, is to be with her, and if he hadn’t believed in his god when all of this began, they would have lived happily in her cottage forever.

all of which is to say, yeah, ozma does not hold the gods in high regard. his obedience does not come from reverence or love—he’s fucking terrified of them. the main difference between him and salem in their view of the gods is that she believes they can be resisted and beaten, and he does not. zealotry doesn’t require that he think the god of light is good or just, only that he obey. he’s still under light’s thumb even as it kills him inside, and he can’t escape until he stops lying to himself about what salem is.

bc she’s… not a monster. she didn’t lie to him, and she certainly didn’t manipulate by not… being able to read his mind when he hid things from her. she made it clear from the start that she wanted to replace the brothers and create a new, better world without them, and in the present all of her rage is directed at his deception and his cowardice in obeying the gods. what he did is not unforgivable. he can make amends, if he finds the courage to try. there is a door he can open to leave the tower. the first step is letting himself believe it’s possible. 

(this is why it matters that he asks the kids to forgive him and give him a second chance in V8. ozma has never forgiven himself for anything and for lifetimes he’s believed himself to be irredeemable; not just recognizing the possibility but actively choosing to ASK for forgiveness was so important, and so necessary.)

[lloydfrontera]

hi I'm going thru the spoilers and about the one with lloyd crying and javier listening outside. about javier wanting lloyd to trust him, i was wonderin when did javier explicitly says he trusts lloyd? since from what I've read so far whenever lloyd says to javier to trust him, javier is always dubious of him and actually doesn't trust him and simply follows the order. Is that why lloyd cried alone since he still thinks javier doesn't really trust him?

oh! javier does tell lloyd that he trusts him! straight to his face! several times in fact!

they vary from degrees of explicitness but there is absolutely no doubt at all that javier trusts lloyd and lloyd knows he does. how deep he believes that trust runs is up to debate but he very much does know that javie trusts him.

there's that time lloyd tells javier he can stop time itself and javier just goes "okay" and goes back to his breakfast because. duh. if lloyd says he can stop time then obviously it must be true. the crazier the thing he says the mostly likely it is to be the truth.

which lloyd then uses against him to convince him to bet his life against a dragon

"This will not do" Javier's voice dripped with alarm. "What won't?" "You are making a bad decision here. It's not too late now. Prepare yourself, Master Lloyd." "For what?" Meanwhile Lloyd's voice was cheery. "To run away. I will by some time." "You plan on fighting that dragon?" "Yes." "Tsk. Don't even try." "But Master Lloyd. Now is your last change-" "Do I look like I've gone mad?" said Lloyd. "..." "Answer me. Do I look like someone who's lost his mind?" Javier was about to answer yes when Lloyd's spoke first. "Who was it that said he would trust in my seemingly deranged behavior?" "..." "You said that," reminded Lloyd. "Those were your words. It goes the same right now. Do I look like I've lost it? In that case, trust me." "But Master Lloyd-" "I'm doing this for a reason." Lloyd didn't let Javier finish. "I've got a plan. So, do what you have to when I fail. Got it?" "..."

or that time they go to seoul and lloyd tells him to just trust in his hyung and follow his lead. to which, once again, javier just goes "okay" because. well of course he does.

“When you’re in a foreign land such as this place, all you’ve got to do is just trust this big brother of yours and follow my lead. Okay?” “I understand…” “Eh?” Lloyd tilted his brow. “It’s rare of you to accept my words so easily.” “Am I not allowed to?” “No. You can’t. It’s strange. I have the chills right now.” “…” “You. Who are you?” asked Lloyd in astonishment. “The Javier I know is far from being a docile, humble or loyal fellow. He’s even farther away from being someone who would just not at my words without snapping back.” “…” “You better tell me honestly. Where did you hide my dear Javier?” “Haah… Seriously…” Javier broke into laughter. “Who else could possess such a dashing appearance but me? […]”

or later on when javier straight up tells lloyd to get used to him just going along with what he says without protest because that's just how things are now. he does tease him that it's so lloyd lowers his guard and javier can stab him in the back but like. that's their love language <3

but yeah! lloyd absolutely does know that javier trusts him! javier has told him so himself! that he's a dummy who doesn't realize just how absolute that trust is it's a completely different matter lol

and as for the context of the scene you mention. here's a post i made a while ago about it but lemme summarize it.

first of all i need to show this set of illustrations because they make me sick in the head

the reason lloyd is crying is because it's finally crashing on him just how hopeless his situation truly is. how much he stands to lose if he doesn't pull off a miracle. how much pressure he's been under for so long and how close he is to breaking down.

and javier is listening through the door because he can tell there's something weighting down on lloyd but he can't confront him because lloyd isn't trusting him with his worries and he doesn't know how to make him.

javier wants so bad to let lloyd know that he doesn't have to worrym he doesn't have to be afraid, because javier is there for him. whatever comes next, whatever danger there is, javier will face it to protect lloyd. and if anyone needs to die then it's okay, because javier will die for him. so lloyd doesn't have to be afraid of something as stupid as him dying because javier simply won't allow it.

but he can't. because lloyd doesn't want to share his burdens. he doesn't want to let them drag anyone down with him. he thinks it's his fault everything that's threatening them is his fault and so he needs to handle everything on his own.

which is silly because javier is right there trying to coax the truth out of him and get him to share his burden with him and just!!! support him every way he can!! but lloyd is a very silly guy who thinks he doesn't deserve that :(

so no! it's not that lloyd thinks javier doesn't trust him! rather it's lloyd not wanting to trust javier with his worries, not out of distrust or anything like that, but out of a misplaced sense of responsibility that makes him want to carry everything by himself.

it's a very poignant scene i can't wait to get the translation for it!

[ectogeo-art]

sdfghfj thank you for answering I love your take on this!! my take on the idea also ends up with Garashir they're almost inevitable lol

Your take about the birth control situation is exactly what I had in mind yeah Garak definitely lies(directly or by omission) about his ability to get pregnant to Sisko ^_^

I was thinking a version where Garak does keep the baby and he got pregnant partly to make Julian jealous but mostly as insurance, like he thinks he will get Federation citizenship or something and having the baby of an esteemed Starfleet captain will make him less expendable in their eyes? a ridiculous unhinged plan that makes zero sense compared to any other method that's why it's crack

And Sisko adores kids and he is a great dad so once he gets around to the idea he will want to raise the baby, but he will be worried because A) Garak(for all the reasons you mentioned) and B) Bajoran public opinion (re:their emissary with a Cardassian baby, they wouldn't exactly be happy I think) anyway through the pregnancy and also once Garak gives birth Sisko is like "I'm not stuck here with you - you are stuck here with me" ('here' being parenting) and between Sisko and Julian's influence, Garak will be dragged kicking and screaming into becoming a good decent? father Maybe Julian offers/agrees to co-parent and pretend the child is from him if they decide it should be a secret, and that's how the Garashir endgame is achieved (only the senior staff will know the truth, and eventually Cassidy (I'm assuming the Siskarak happened before Sisko/Cassidy entered a serious relationship)) Sisko of course is very involved too in raising the baby but he has to lie about it and can't acknowledge the baby as his, which he is upset about but if it keeps the kid safer he will do so (but Sisko has to deal with so much in canon already I feel bad making him deal with this too so idk)

thank you for letting me be insane in your askbox <3 I spent most of the day thinking how to reply and I'm pretty sure I forgot a lot of it by the time I got back to the computer, and sorry if I wrote too much

Omg, this is beautiful! <3

I hadn't even thought about how the optics on the Emissary having a Cardassian baby would be an absolute nightmare, but you're so right, lmaooo. And I love the fake-co-parents-to-lovers thing for Garashir, it's so, mmmm, *chef's kiss*! And Sisko being like "actually, you're stuck here (here=parenting) with me >:)" is soooo perfect too hahahaha! Thank you for your thoughts, these asks have been delightful ^_^

(This is a follow up to this post.)

[the-writing-mill]

No stress to answer one way or another, but do you currently have plans to continue with bnha “bad luck is not my quirk I swear” now that the manga is finished? Or is it on the backburner or ?

Thank you for asking politely.

I have vague plans, yes, it is not abandoned and on my mind! (And I do still have the old outline so I will be able to pick it up with limited challenges)

Unfortunately for the BNHA fans following me, when I say vague plans I mean "I have a very long WIP list to get through, and Bad Luck is currently 4th or so, so who knows when I'll get around to it" (especially because I'm going to reward myself each time I write a chapter or two of a WIP by writing a oneshot lol)

[lewis-winters]

Hello!

I am hoping you'll be willing to listen to answer a question i have about Lewis Nixon's supposed demotion.

I've never been in the military, so I'm very interested in your perspective since you mentioned military service in your VERY thorough post about how the 'military culture' is constantly in the background of BoB but never really explored or discussed.

Ok So Nixon is Regimental S-3 between Bastogne sometime & Operation Varsity. He's a Captain. To me, a non-military person, S-3 is his job and Captain is his rank. When Sink/Dick decide he should bump back to S-3 at 2nd Battalion with Dick, that's NOT a demotion. That's a transfer. He's doing the same job, at the same rank, at the same pay, just in a different place. In a large org, maybe there is some loss of PRESTIGE, but you have not lost anything. Maybe you even WANT the lateral transfer, maybe all of your friends are over in that other office/unit/store whatever. A demotion would be getting bumped back to 2nd Lieutenant or something, losing pay, losing rank.... in my head anyway.

So, tl;dr, IS the Nixon situation actually a 'demotion' or more like a transfer from an Army culture perspective?

Also thank you for your thoughts on how the show ignored some important aspects of Army systems & Army culture....in favor of THE DRAMA! (which yeah ok...it's a show...drama! psychology!...) I thought it was really interesting and an excellent critique!

I wanna start this off with a little oops! sorry! my bad! I've been calling Nix Regimental S2 this whole time only ahdshaddsfj you are right he WAS Regimental S3 and then he got demoted to Battalion S2. Lmao!! Yeah!! Ok!! He's still a good intelligence officer, though! Can you fucking imagine your Regimental S3 walking the line with you? that's like if you were a desk worker writing your report with the COO of your company sitting right next to you, lol.

EDIT: Ok, wait. Sorry. I got a little confused, because I was so sure Nix was an intelligence officer, therefore he couldn't have been S3 because S3 is planning and operations. So I went and searched it up and slight correction!! Lewis Nixon was not Regimental S3, he was Regimental S2 and then he was demoted to Battalion S3. At least, in show. I still need to cross reference with the books, but... yeah! The rest of this post has also been edited to reflect this.

Anyway. No, it's not a lateral transfer, that's still a demotion. It would have been a lateral transfer if Nix was moved from Regiment S2 to Regiment S3. But he wasn't. He was moved to Battalion.

While you are correct in the observation that Staff Section Designations (i.e. S1-S8 and others) are equal (they are literally just different jobs descriptions; S2 handles the processing of intelligence and tactical information for the commander while S3 handles plans, operations, and training), Regiment S2 is still higher in rank than Battalion S3 because Regiment, Battalion, Brigade, Company, etc. etc. are ranks/follow the hierarchy of rank. Mostly due to the sheer sizes that are being handled.

A Regiment is divided into several companies, squadrons, or batteries and often into two battalions, and is run by a colonel. A Battalion is typically consisting of 300 to 1,000 soldiers commanded by a lieutenant colonel, and subdivided into a number of companies (usually each commanded by a major or a captain). The rule of thumb is this: the bigger the amount of men you handle, the more senior your staff officers, supposedly. Bigger numbers mean bigger operations and logistics, and senior officers (allegedly, heh) have more experience and more schooling to handle those!

Now! However!! a colonel of a regiment can have anybody in his staff regardless of rank (but with certain caveats i.e. chain of command isn't broken). Either through necessity (soldiers die, the positions have to be filled), meritocracy (unlikely, but not impossible), or because he plays favorites (yeah, this is more realistic). Nix being just a Captain who happens to be Regiment S3 is not uncommon. It's fine. Happens a lot, especially in dire constraints like in the middle of an actual War. And Nix is very intelligent and, though I guess some people would call him lazy, Dick (and several others, too) thought he did his job very well, AND was probably there the longest, as compared to other candidates. On top of that, he comes from a family that is rich and might have had some significant pull in the military. Nix being in regiment as a mere captain is not weird. BUT it gets fucking weird (read: the chain of command is broken) when the Regimental S3 is just a Captain, while the Battalion S1 or S2, S3, S4, etc.-- who is EXPECTED to answer to and take orders from all officers in Regiment-- is a Major. Or a Lt. Col. Or anybody ranked higher than a Captain.

It's just not done! For a Major or a Lt. Col. or higher to answer to and take orders from the likes of a mere Captain! That breaks Chain of Command! Usually, to remedy this there is some reshuffling! So, either Regimental S3 is moved elsewhere laterally (i.e. Regimental S1, S3, S4, S5, etc), or if it is seen fit (i.e. said Regimental S3 is someone the upper brass have a vendetta against or cannot manipulate 👀👀👀👀👀), they will be demoted to Battalion. Or maybe even lower.

That's what I meant by the military is so so precious about chain of command. If a regimental officer is good! and has saved your regiment many times with his skill! it's only logical that you keep him where he is, right? Lmao. No. Wrong. If someone with less skill but higher rank were to come along, you have to defer to them. That's the rules of the chain of command!

Anyway. Even if Nix's demotion was just a reshuffling of manpower, it's still a public snub! It would look really bad on your career profile.

[therealvinelle]

I just finished Nebuchadnezzar's Dream and I have to say: Holy shit! The werewolf fight, Carlisle getting investigated by the FBI, Aro's funny hat idea as a diplomatic tool, the Ziggy Stardisciples feat. bad face paint, Renata ❤️, the bickering twins, Jane (yes, she gets her own point, she deserves it), Carlisle's gift induced despair and then the fall of Volterra, the horror and grief of the group and the very loud broadcasted-live-to-the-usurpers revenge sex (I hope Edward combusted into a pile of ashes right then and there, lol). It was an amazing rollercoaster to read. And just so you know, I'm very interested in that potential sequel 👀

(Also, if Aro had decided to follow Caius' advice and attack the Cullens first, how would he have done it? Kill them all but spare Carlisle? Kill only Bella and leave it at that knowing that they don't pose a threat anymore even if they do decide to take revenge? Or something entirely different?)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thank you!

To answer your question:

If Aro was to take out the Cullens, there are about a million ways he could have gone about killing the Cullens but the simplest one in my mind would have been if he used Nahuel and his sisters to hide from Alice, and then went and killed them outright. No fuzz, no convoluted schemes, even with Bella's gift the Cullens would be easily overwhelmed.

A more thought out plan, at least if Aro wants to be sure Alice doesn't catch on to him, would be sending Chelsea and Marcus around to weaken the bonds of friendship the Cullens have with their various allies, and strengthen their faith in the Volturi. And if some remain adamant, they die. Leave the Denali alive, however, and then make his move.

The factor that allowed the Cullens to gather as many allies as they did in Breaking Dawn was time. The Volturi deliberated two weeks, when a direct flight from Italy to Washington would take less than a day. Should Aro in my scenario then decide "Alright, we're doing this," the Cullens will have very little time and be at a complete disadvantage.

Their only option would be to run for it and not split up, so Bella can shield them all, but even so they'll be leaving scent trails, which means they would have to go by human transportation means. This in turn puts a constraint on their movements.

The Cullens would likely end up on a boat or an island, where nobody can track them, where they would be unable to step outside of Bella's immediate vicinity, meaning Jacob and Renesmee are both obscuring Alice.

This is where the Denali come in, because without them the Volturi would have no way of guessing where the Cullens might go. With five friendly vampires a short distance away, however, the Cullens have an obvious destination.

Where, of course, Jacob and Renesmee's constant presence means that Alice won't know the Volturi are waiting for them there.

Even if the Cullens figure out that the Denali are compromised, they have no allies and Bella needs only let down her guard for a moment for Demetri to know where they are, and given the pressure she's under she inevitably will. They won't have an easy time hunting, either, the stress of the situation will be constantly grating on them, they won't hold out for long.

As for what the Volturi do when they have them at their mercy, Aro would be sad about it but they all have to go. Regardless of the strategy he used, he wants to reinforce that the Volturi are a force you don't stand up to, you don't resist, and you don't embarrass them.

By all accounts, Aro's distinguishing feature is that there is nobody he isn't willing to kill.

People would be crying injustice for a while, but I imagine those voices would be silenced in death or through intimidation, and with vampires having such a high turnover rate it would only be a few centuries before they were forgotten by all but those who keep their mouths shut about it.

[timeofjuly]

Okay I’ve been scrolling down for a little while now? And?

And I’m starting to think the PTSD flashback Quinn had in chpt. 10 (? I think) is something to do with her dad *almost* drowning MC, at least once.

If I had to guess, he found out between Quinn and MC, and absolutely blew up. He was either going to, or already had hurt Quinn in some way, and MC either was called for help, or walked in on it, and somehow ended with them in a very bad way involving water, and Quinn’s dad with a busted nose. Maybe Quinn hit him with something when MC was getting attacked, MC got a hit in (I don’t think MC started it, since it’s on the record that MC doesn’t do random acts of violence), and took the blame for it ALL.

But I’m also so confused!! Because you also described MC in Quinn’s horror flashback as being wet and ice cold, and looking like they did before they were clean - I’m MISSING SOMETHING, AHHHHH. The gas station ice bags, you mentioned it twice, and I’m drawing a blank as to why that’s so important.

Drugs and ice, what’s the connection? Could it be some kind of memory? Where could Quinn have seen ice bags, and why would it be so important that ice was where it was? Camping? I can only think of organ harvesting, but that seems too far fetched 😪😵‍💫

Can I ask when did MC start using? (Was it related to Quinn’s dad/their trauma surrounding that mystery water incident?)

Most (if I’m remembering correctly,) of Quinn’s trauma has been catholic guilt, daddy issue related. Where was Quinn’s mother in this? Was she involved? Was she behind the scenes, encouraging her husbands violence? Or was she the keeper of peace? What’s her place in all this??

I’d say ‘WHO KNOWS’, but YOU knows. >:( I hope you’re amused, cause I feel deranged.

I hope this doesn’t come off as demanding you to answer my questions 😭 it’s really fun to talk (type?) out my thinking process, I hope it’s somehow beneficial to you too 😂

you don’t have to answer/respond to anything if it’s spoiler-y!

I just read your progress tracking update, and oh my god, the energy to lovers with underfell Grillby? Sounds SO GOOD!!

You wrote so much; and are going to write so much, I hope you’re also taking enough time to do nothing, and take breaks! Good job!! AHHHH!!

I am SCREAMING at ‘WHO KNOWS’, but YOU knows’!!! I was literally thinking the other day how funny it is that I’m the only one who knows wtf is going on lol. This is too much power and responsibility for me!!!

Okay okay so I'll answer things sorta vaguely, if you want anything clarified more and aren't afraid of broaching closer to the spoiler territory feel free to dm me and I will straight up tell you anything lol, I am terrible at keeping secrets and I will also pop the below under a cut cause it's kinda long -

Re: the flashback, I'll note that Quinn doesn't make any connection between the wet, frostbitten, fucked-up MC, except that they look like they did when they were still using. Quinn, just like the reader, also doesn't know why MC appeared to her like that. It is disturbing and confusing, but she doesn't relate it to any event or experience with MC. Same with the ice bags - she doesn't have anything to connect it with, so she doesn't. Because we're working through the lens of Quinn in that scene, there's a whollllllle lot of context missing.

As a hint, though: the Quinn's dad incident and whatever the fuck is going on with the frostbite and ice and water are completely separate things.

MC's drug use started when they were thirteen and doesn't relate to Quinn. I do like your line of thinking though! I also like your thinking about organ harvesting lol, that would've been a very different turn to what I'm planning!

Quinn's mother was complicit in a lot of Quinn's childhood. I've kinda gotten into it, but the Lawsons are deeply, deeply religious, super fundamentalist. Many fundamentalist Christian families follow a hierarchical structure of the family, where the husband is the spiritual leader, wives are expected to submit to their husband's authority and support his decisions, and then the kids submit to them both (dad first, though).

And oh my gosh not demanding at all!!! I love answering your questions and you always do help my process! I am so! excited! for the Undefell Grillby fic too, I think it'll be good for me to write something a little lighter and simpler too lol.

I really appreciate your kind words <3 <3 <3 Not to get mushy but I wrote more in 2023 (and only started in July!) than I have in my whole life. RTC came after a three year break from writing and was in a brand-new fandom with a kinda weird concept and I was so so so scared to post that first chapter. I'm so glad that I did, though! I feel like I've really found a little community here.