#the amount of times my mum had told me 'but you're not chinese' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

enthblaze · 1 year ago

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want to choose a chinese name for my legal name but my family would question me so bad

(they've already tried to erase the chinese culture from mine and my siblings' lives and i want to reclaim that part of me but it's like they view being chinese as a bad thing. i didn't know my dad was literally half chinese until a couple years ago, my grandma doesn't really ever speak in her native tongue anymore and my dad has never taught me anything of our culture. i want to reconnect and i dont see that as bad, but my family will be so weirded out because "i'm more filipino than chinese")

#ryotalks #this goes the same way with me trying to reconnect with japanese culture #it's like my family's ashamed of those parts of our heritage #the amount of times my mum had told me 'but you're not chinese'#the amount of times they didn't want me to go to chinese festivals with my other relatives #the amount of times i felt at home in chinese food stores and restaurants and chinese oriented towns but could never go beyond that because #i knew nothing of the culture #i am an adult i can make my own choices #but my parents would really wonder 'why would he ever choose to do such a thing'#they'll think im erasing all theyve done #maybe i am #i want to have that part of me back #it's not wrong to do so #right?

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