#the amount of content for them in s5 vs the amount of content for them in s6/7

[invisible-pink-toast]

the different ways spike refers to dawn:

[anthroposeen]

[tma spoilers: sasha's arc, discussion of women in tma and general spoilers for s1-5]

i wanted to do a breakdown of how the tma fandom interprets the main cast of 'protagonist' women specifically pertaining to sasha's role in tma canon and how shes viewed in the fan sphere :)

i think its interesting how sasha is almost universally liked by tma fans when she was a very short-lived character with just about no screen time. its obviously tied to the fact that sasha was considered an ally by jon and the other original staff and they take measures to avenge her in some regard- this is perpetuated as shes painted as an obvious protagonist (one of the few who arent necessarily morally grey) with no real content to prove she had bad qualities. other women in tma have a considerable amount of content (im specifically referring to those working in the archives or having a large role in jon's life: georgie, melanie, basira, and daisy) which lets the audience see them in a more multi-faceted light. we see their rights and wrongs through jons eyes, and since they have more canon content, obviously they're more complex characters and they serve more nuanced narrative purposes. at the end of the day, sasha's use as a character was to drive the plot with a significant death and inspire a revenge or depression in the other characters, and she served this role perfectly. jon avenges her twice in s5 alone (smiting the not!them and then cursing her name at jonah) so we know she was very important pre-s1, but as the audience we just dont get to see that depth to her.

theres also the internalized misogyny that fandoms often have; sasha was the main and only female role in s1 (not counting gertrude since shes dead) and her relationships largely revolved around men. all of her coworkers were men, and we know they admired her. we know she was friends with them all individually and also glued them together in group settings. she had a "will they wont they" relationship (his words of course) with tim, and she was the character that introduced us to michael. the other more fleshed out women of tma had relationships largely revolving around other women. melanie and georgie were partners, melanie had moments were she was friends with basira, and basira and daisy came into the series as a package deal. when these characters are given the choice between choosing to help jon or choosing to help the woman closest to them, they dont choose jon. obviously this can rub the audience the wrong way, but it also showcases a loyalty to the idealized fanon interpretation of a woman over the canon multi-dimensional women we dont need to extrapolate on.

i get that its easier to like a female character when she's a protagonist who supported the male lead; and bonus points if shes such a vague character that anyone can paste their interpretations onto and it cant be "disproven". of course its sexier to leave things up to the imagination, but it just irks me to see people fawn over a (please forgive me) one dimensional character when more complex women exist in canon. people have the tendency to beg for flawed women in fiction then dislike them or ignore them when they get the representation they asked for. if you're willing to defend jon but not melanie, basira, daisy, or georgie, maybe ask yourself why.

disclaimer: i dont think anyone is a misogynist for liking sasha or preferring her over the other women in tma! i like both canon and fanon interpretations of her character and i wish we got to see more of her, but i do think theres something to be said about how the fandom treats her vs the other women in the cast. and i know im not at all the first to say it! i was just thinking about this as a general observation of fan content that ive seen and i dont mean to hate on anyone, their fan content, or sasha as a character!

[ginjointsintheworld]

One perk of NA ending with little notice is that they’ll hopefully go back to their wholesome roots and write a heartfelt, joyful wrap for all the characters. A sudden cancelation sucks but in their case they’ve still got 13 episodes to make things make sense instead of just being stuck with these weird storylines so if they try they can actually end the series pretty well. They should use the fact that they’re done to take advantage of everything like I wanna see family members, old friends, more hangouts, good old silly cases, and an end of series flashback. If written well, they can add all the fun, deep stuff without making it seem rushed.

Like with this season irdc about everyone else(Shaprwin’s pending engagement killed all hope for me of Helen getting to be interesting again with an independent plot)but I’d love to get Lauren and Leyla to a good place by 4x22 and then back together latest by 5x2, even if they’re still working things out, and then the last 3 episodes of the show is just them in relationship bliss and maybe Lauren meeting Leyla’s mom or something. Or just more about Leyla because it’s been seasons! I know it’s a big ask but it’s the end, they can throw in some fan service if they want. And I’m thinking that a 5 year time jump in the finale is the perfect amount of time to let us catch up on everyone and with Leyren, ideally they’d either be married or about to get married. If they really wanna feed me they’ll slide in a scene of a pregnant Leyla waiting on a late Lauren in the doctors office before their ultrasound appointment 🥺 I know I’m setting myself up with all these hopes and dreams but they’ve built them up so they might as well just make them happy like anything else would be evil lol. Especially a ‘Leyla is abruptly written off but she’s happy’ and ‘Lauren’s single because Self Love’ ending 😑 like no thanks. Give us the J O Y.

i know i did my own grumbling when it was revealed that s5 would be a shorten season but honestly? there are shows that pack a lot of really good, well written, well paced, content into 13 episodes of less, ex. love victor s2 and tslocg. so there's no reason to think that it's impossible to do so here. hell, maybe it'll actually be better that the writers know they don't have 22 episodes to fuck around with LOL. but yes, agreed, i hope the writers get more back to the show's earlier roots of patient driven cases and most importantly, synergy between all the main characters. everyone collaborated with everyone s1-2 and as we got into s3 (maybe it was partly covid worries that played a factor) they started to become more isolated into their own spheres and it started to strain on the storytelling in a way because before when you had 1 or 2 cases that all the characters got in on, now they have one for each person and there's only so much time in an episode. they know how to write the show well, they just need to take a step back and breathe lol.

i've sadly already given up on helen's arc this season. i genuinely thought that once they got to london, she'd finally take the forefront of the story while max fell more into a supporting part to it but. alas. we're back on the max vs fuentes shit so. i expect that and the long distance aspect will detract from helen's medical director and family affairs journey. but (and i know other people are over it) i'm still interested to see how floyd's baby drama + navigating NA and iggy's trevor, trying to regain his stride in psych, stories play out. as for lauren and leyla, i'm not playing around, i wanted them resolved and back TOGETHER by 4x22. go into s5 with a clean slate, no more potential drama lurking around corners. whatever manufactured situations the writers gotta cook up to put them in the space to heal, i'll gobble it right up! i need to see them settled and thriving in their doctor girlfriends dynamic that was tragically cut short this season. and if they gotta promote leyla to main character status to make that happen, well then who am i to argue?

i'm all for a time jump at the end. why not? it's not like this show has some grand mystery they need to resolve like it's LOST or Manifest. they can sprinkle in all the fanservice they want. my current finale episode pipedream is lauren proposing to leyla but the episode is very shenanigans-esque. like opening with a typical, ED crazy day and lauren runs into floyd entering her office while she's leaving and the ring box falls out of her pocket and they both stare at it all 👁👄👁

'is that... what i think it i--'

'NO. maybe. yes.'

and it turns out lauren's been carrying it around for weeks trying to find the right moment to propose. and we get lauren, leyla and floyd working the case of the week together and floyd needling lauren at every turn like 'now? what about now? this is a good time?' just playful energy. i feel like that's the way the show should end, on a playful, hopeful note.

anyways i know we're all getting ahead of ourselves here because s4 hasn't even finished airing yet and the writers have burnt through a lot of people's patience with this season, but i really do think they'll do their best to give the show the final season it deserves and recapture what the fans love about the show. to use my favorite phrase for the season, we just gotta wait and see lol.

[lovelylogans]

:o Please please rant about the 100 and Bellamy!! I was only marginally into it so I don't know much but I love to hear your meta on literally everything!!

all RIGHT. spoilers for the 100 past this point! also i’m gonna go ahead and preface this with a warning about racism, and also that a lot of this is based off stan twitter, but like. they aren’t Wrong.

oh, also, i’m gonna go ahead and drop my stan twitter: i rarely make original posts, but, ya know. it’s a jumble of content. feel free to follow if u want.

also! there’s this whole thread of hiatus drama, if you want a fuller picture than what i’m giving you.

so a quick, general sum-up of some plot that goes into this Whole situation: the sixth season of t100 took place on a different planet, after t100 spent ~5 seasons on earth, so this introduced new characters and also the concept of interplanetary travel. in the season six finale, hope (the daughter of a character, diyoza, who was still pregnant with hope, because ~time travel~) stepped through what’s called “the anomaly,” says “i’m sorry,” and stabs octavia, dissipating her into green mist. bellamy, octavia’s brother (who has had Issues and a Lot of storylines centering around octavia, which is a whole other topic of conversation (ft. bellamy’s storylines centering around white women (bob morley, who plays bellamy, is half-filipino) octavia’s treatment by fandom vs bellamy’s, and you can probably tell which side i’m on by how loudly i screamed “YEEEEEESSSSSSS” when bellamy said “you’re my sister, but you’re not my responsibility anymore” after SIX SEASON of—okay you see, i’m getting off topic) 

anyway, the season closer was that octavia went through the anomaly, which (this is important!) a fair amount of the main characters saw (gabriel, hope, echo, and bellamy, namely) bellamy, in that same season closer, was running through the woods alone, yelling for octavia. season ending. good hook!

and then.... nothing.

seriously. the hiatus between season six and season seven of the hundred (the LAST season of the show, EVER!) there was next to no promotional material. no bts pics, no tweets from cast/crew, nada. nothing. which stirred up quite a bit of complaint in the fandom—one, it’s the last season, can we not have some promotion, and two, it’s the last season, and there’s no promotion by cast/crew/the cw, why is this happening?

seriously. the season seven teaser clip that got aired between episodes on the cw was released before the trailer. it became a meme, how long we were waiting for the trailer. like it was... what, 19, 20 days before the season aired, and all we had was like a stitched-together character poster?

there was also some drama throughout the hiatus, ft. the fandom getting on the news for not getting content in the hiatus, jessica harmon (who plays a guest role, nylah, and whose brother plays murphy) getting snappy at fans on twitter for asking for promotion, and isaiah washington, who played thelonious jaha (a character that died in s5) telling a minor (and also going into their dms!) that he’d call the fbi on them, good times, the 100 fandom is a Disaster and i live a nightmare every day

and then. the trailer drops.

which starts “where is bellamy?” like. people. were SEARCHING for bellamy. people were trying to be optimistic, but rapidly people were also coming to, like, the worst conclusions. however as always t100 fandom did have some jokes, so like, ya know

people were looking forward to other promo: the poster, and also, there’s this tradition of countdown bts photos for the show, and since bob and eliza (who plays clarke, the female lead) just got married, people had high hopes! 

and then came the poster (which had no bellamy, or characters at all) and then the OFFICIAL poster (which had characters, but still no bellamy) which started the hashtag #whereisbellamyblake, because, seriously, he’s the male lead and it’s the last season. also bonus screengrab of this from jroth (the lead writer’s) mom’s twitter lmao

so people rightfully had questions: the excuse that was being given was that including bellamy would be “spoilery,” except, like, it’s a poster? and the only shot of him in the trailer was him being dragged along the ground despite the fact that he was the thumbnail for the trailer? like, okay, which led to some twitter meltdowns, and some more, and again people were fearing the worst, because like, see lexa, jason has a BAD track record when it comes to fan-favorite ships. people were HEATED, people were RANTING, it was a MESS

also. the edited posters were pretty funny, okay, then bob and eliza, bless them, dropped some a+ twitter content, and things calmed down a bit

and then, countdown days started. usually, the order goes bob on one more day, and eliza on show day. except this year? eliza was one more day. which. people were going nuts. because it was a tradition! and keeping BOB out of a behind the scenes where there weren’t any spoilers? it just seemed unprofessional—especially damning, given jason’s past history with ricky whittle, who played lincoln, and was bullied off the set. people were worried that, one, this was affecting bob’s storyline, and two, well. remember that thing about fan-favorite ships? here’s a whole thread of that, btw. and a video of ricky whittle, here.

it is a genuine fear of a lot of the fandom that jason will, in all his pettiness, not give in to bellarke. which is kind of nutty, given that it’s the core relationship of the show, and he himself had said that he’d been foreshadowing it. bellamy and clarke are literally “the head and the heart” of the show.

oh, yeah. so hard cut to the showday pic.

cast. crew. writers. everyone.

except? no bob.

people lost their gotdamn MINDS.

there’s a lot of subsequent drama; the fact that apparently they’re pushing through clarke/gaia (even though there was ??? no previous evidence of this??) still no bellamy for four episodes (seriously, it took clarke, like, two episodes to even cotton onto the fact that he was missing at all)  a lot of criticism of jason (he’s shamed shipping and also, lmao, is trying to push through a spinoff?) and just. Yeah. 

i’m really burnt out when it comes to the 100 fandom; i’ve unfollowed a lot of the t100-centric tumblrs i used to follow, once the show is over i’m gonna unfollow a lot of the twitters and just, yeah. i care about bob and eliza, and i care about bellarke, but the fandom wears me out and the unprofessionalism of a lot of what’s gone down has kind of just? made me lose interest? they’re recycling storylines (esp centering around octavia and bellamy) and continuity doesn’t seem to really be a priority. i just... yeah. i mostly care about bellarke and the fact that i bond a lot with one of my real-life friends through this show. if bellarke doesn’t happen, i’m gonna be like Really... disappointed, mad, irritated? like. imagine. it’s literally So Easy. the actors got married, ffs, you’ve gotten in trouble for ending two ships via very tragic death (in the same season, even!) like how is this Not Clicking

anyway that’s my (entirely too long) rant about t100!!!!

[lintzhope]

Saving Hope (S3-5x12 things I loved (99% Lintz)

-Dr Maggie Lin - her personality is just - who wouldn’t fall in love with her? 

-Dr Sydney Katz - the way she just stands up for her beliefs and values. 

- how Lintz met, how Dr Katz was so intense for Maggie. The contrast between these two characters which come together at the end to be much more similar than we first thought. 

- the progression of both characters in their attitudes both in work and in self. Especially Maggie since we’ve watched her grow since S1 and goodness she was adorable but impulsive and always had a took what she wanted attitude. So, so different from how she is with Sydney. It’s like ripping open a present vs taking off each layer making sure not to rip the wrapping of a Christmas present. 

- Dr Katz’s glasses 

- Maggie’s hair length from S1 - S5. I just can’t deal. It’s gorgeous and well her personality shifts to match it too. Well I guess that’s the point. Maturation. But really she’s beautiful. And she has grown to be such a great doctor

- The friendship between Alex and Maggie. Also between Zach and Maggie. That progressive love for each other that grew so significantly throughout the series. 

- The Leave/Stay theme of Lintz. They are basically built off this theme, (kinda like Julia Taylor Ross said in her interview they’re a ‘will they won’t they’ couple). 

- The  ‘I love you’ from Sydney that probably Maggie was not expecting at all. I wasn’t expecting it and I think that’s what makes it so real so raw. That even when they’re in conflicts, dilemmas, arguing-ish, that Sydney doesn’t ‘want to be with her any less’, that Sydney loves her. And well you know what they say, if you love them, let them go. And that’s what Sydney did. She couldn’t be the reason for Maggie giving up something that she loved and regretting it. She wanted Maggie to be happy. 

- Because the thing is Sydney knows how important their careers are in each of their hearts. They value being a doctor almost over everything and really nothing triumphs the essence their job gives them and what they can give to others. Their whole life, it was building up to this point - this pinnacle of where their endless studying, love for being a doctor brings them to the best. They didn’t really have anything else that they wholeheartedly loved. Maggie even says “I’ve got nothing to live for”. That is until they started really, creeping in into each other’s heart, lodging themselves there and staying there. Because for that period where Sydney was in Israel gone from Hope Zion and Maggie was finding someone to date, they were both in each other’s heart staying there subconsciously and slowing invading, but well, they probably did know it but didn’t acknowledge it, decided that it was impossible. 

- The respect this show has for differences, whether its with religion, culture, sexuality among many other things. 

- Little bit of Dawn: the unfolding of the tender hearted Dawn. That one scene where she attempts to get on everyone’s good side in order to get her chief of surgery role back and Zach told her to be her but kinder and she praised Maggie and the residents. That little proud smile and giddiness after Zach praises her was so cute. Also her scenes with Giselle shows just why she is such a wonderful doctor. Also that she says what she wants to say. Her dignified aura. 

-also Shahir

- From the beginning Maggie felt something for Sydney (‘from the moment I met you I always wondered what it would be like to be with you’) and her cautious walking and patience with Sydney was sorta her defence mechanism. So that it wouldn’t hurt as much if and when she did leave. (That conversation with Zach pretty much sums it up) Then he replies with “I think you’re in love”. Sigh. 

- The fact that during the little amounts of time Sydney spent with Hershel, she spent it talking about Maggie. Which also implies that she is very attentive with Maggie, well she is a doctor, but knowing her nose twitches when she fibs - let’s just say she pays a lot of attention on Maggie. 

- free falling 

- The feeling when Maggie passed her boards. I was so happy. Hard work pays off. 

- That Maggie was probably Sydney’s first. First for a lot of things. 

- Also “ you love her don’t you.” to Sydney and Sydney’s face when it all clicks.

- ‘(thought about you every day.’ ‘ I thought about you too’ Then that kiss, that makes Maggie feel like she was being strangled on the inside. That deep breath she tried to take afterwards was all too telling. She felt it way too much that she was finding it hard to breathe. Isn’t that just….sigh.  

- Sydney’s defence mechanism was leaving and not staying in touch. From what is seen in the series, in order to not hurt others or herself, she always is the one leaving. From leaving Maggie after the first kiss to be engaged to Herself, leaving to Israel, then leaving her girlfriend after finding out that Maggie really was the one, leaving so her family didn’t have to see her, leaving when Maggie got her job. So when she stays - it’s all too heartwarming, because for her that is her way of loving someone. 

- How fast Maggie bounced back into her soul and body after her injury. Like her personality is just so - I dunno I think she just always willing to try, to be better. 

- Maggie with Bree as her kickass guardian angel. Just in general how much Maggie cares for her patients. Like the one time she had the patient with the drinking problem and she did all she could to help her. 

- But also on the other hand how heartwarming and cool Maggie was when she went over to the Shelby after the bomb explosion. She never really looked out for herself, she went straight to helping others, treating others, saving others. 

- ‘ I owed you’ then that longing heavy look as Sydney walks out of Hope Zion. And after that episode, Maggie was kinda all over the place. (Let’s just say which is an implication of her longing for Sydney, but knowing she won’t get to be with her - reinforced by her desperation to find someone - even with Zach.) 

- How Maggie wears her heart on her sleeves sometimes and when Sydney comes back in 410, she literally couldn’t take a proper breath. She looked so…lost. Because that brimming feeling of hope was building back inside her and she knows that she should keep a certain distance because Sydney always leaves. 

- how sad Sydney looked when she saw Maggie and Dey going to the Crab (i can’t remember the name) together. 

- I love watching Maggie and Sydney work in surgery together. Well I love watching everyone in surgery but Maggie especially. Just their dedication to medicine and to their patients. 

- Maggie’s shaking hands after Becca’s surgery tells a story. 

- The silent confirmation that if they find Martha’s ashes, that Lintz has a chance to be something. 

- ‘I don’t want an epic love affair with you Maggie, I just want you.” 

- ‘Stay’ then the eyebrow 

- ‘But seriously, we need a bigger bed’ then the little kiss. And hehehe domestic aren’t they. 

- How basically everyone teased Maggie about the ‘Dr Katz in the house’ and how utterly discombobulated Maggie was about what she was feeling when she had waited three years and ‘now it’s here’ 

- Maggie forgives quite quickly. She’s a very accepting person isn’t she. 

- ‘I chose you’ - and she meant every word

-5x12 Sydney isn’t one to keep in touch. When Maggie told her to call her after she lands in London. She gave a heavy ‘sure’ but she wasn’t going to call. I didn’t think she would. Because it hurts less to stay away completely than to have tidbits of an almost. 

- Just thinking of Sydney berating herself for not staying with Maggie. That this job was everything but so was the job offered to Maggie. Why was it she couldn’t be the one staying, why did Maggie have to be the one leaving with her. Maggie meant everything to her, so she stayed, above everything, above all the times she told herself that she will not find love because she’s gay and she’s an orthodox Jewish, she found something worth, someone worth everything, someone worth staying for. 

- the fact that Maggie never chased after Sydney after finding out that their first kiss that ‘threw her for a loop’ was more than just a kiss for Sydney. It held dire consequences and religion conflict. From there on, she was ever so patient with Sydney. That she never really chased after her. When Sydney was leaving to israel, she tried to do it so subtly but she couldn’t directly utter the words ‘stay’, not again, not after finding out she was leaving for someone else, or in their final episode where Sydney told her to not come with her to London. Those words rung in Maggie and she listened because isn’t that want was for the best. That’s what Sydney wanted. But deep down, well not even deep down, everyone could see it, she wanted to be with her, she wanted Sydney to tell her to leave with her. ‘well she was the one that told me to stay’ - Maggie’s brimming tears when she said that just did it for me. But yet again Sydney was leaving. (But that letter, it was basically a please come after me.)

- especially knowing the contents of the letter. A verse from the Book of Ruth. from the moment Sydney wrote that letter and placed it on the floor, I believed she wasn’t going to leave. That she was hoping, that Maggie would come after her. That Maggie loved her like Sydney loved her. She wasn’t going to go. Not anywhere without Maggie. 

- The kisses. I especially loved the ones in 511, the continuous pecks on Maggie’s cheeks was simply too adorable. 

- That little look back from Sydney when she first kissed Maggie. 

- From S3 upwards to S5 Maggie stays and Sydney leaves. Then in 512 Maggie leaves for Syd and Syd stays for Maggie. They both stayed for each other and leave with each other. 

- Dr Katz’s jokes in S5 

- ‘Syd’ 

- !RomanticMaggie 

- ‘my one is crossing the pond without me’ let me reiterate ‘my one’

- ‘I love you and I would give everything up to be with you.’ my heart. 

- ‘Don’t urge me to leave you. Where you go I will go. Where you lodge I will lodge. Where you die. I will die. And there I will be buried.’ 

- ‘you had me at Shalom’ 

- The airport - Can we breathe and just appreciate everything here. Departure of Lintz but the journey, oh goodness the Lintz journey was - I don’t know it’s etched into my heart like no other couple. (I love Shoot from POI truly) But this couple this couple was so real, so normal, so human and I just, it truly gives me hope. So goodbye and thank you for this wonderful creation, for Lintz, this representation and this emblem of hope. 

Happy endings and beginnings to everyone. 

(I miss them already) 

[womanaction]

14 and 15 (for your favorite season), 16, and 17

14. What is the strongest point of season 5?

There are so many things I love about Season 5 but I think the strongest point is its narrative overall? Like BtVS is not always the greatest at building cohesive seasonal narratives, which has become a bigger focus in TV of late imo. But Season 5 has an interesting arc overall and every episode manages to tie in somehow. The first two seasons are full of random unrelated episodes - your Go Fishes, your I Robot You Janes, episodes that are important for character development (well, I picked two big unfavorites so maybe not that important) but have no direct bearing on the seasonal story. You could change details and move them around to another season.

Season 3 started to get better at this. I’m thinking about the way “Earshot” and “The Prom” in particular opened up attention on more of Sunnydale High, bringing attention to characters who would play a role in the finale. Season 4 laid a lot of groundwork for the finale that didn’t pay off as well as it could have, but it emphasized how the group was growing apart fairly consistently throughout, and also the bit with Riley’s arc. But Season 5 is just stellar at this. Troll hammer, Buffybot, Tara’s mindwipe, Ben, Spike’s obsession with Buffy, Joyce’s illness, all return and have important roles in constructing this story. They have direct bearing on the finale and are incredibly important to individual arcs as well, they’re not just something that happens and is forgotten. 

15. What is the weakest point of season 5?

I guess the flipside of the above - there aren’t as many great standalone episodes. There’s no “Hush” of Season 5. I don’t rewatch individual episodes of this one as much as I do of nearly every other season (except 7 until recently). And the ones I do rewatch are near the beginning of the season (”The Replacement,” “Buffy vs. Dracula,” “Out of my Mind”) because the big rush toward the finale basically starts at the end of 5x18 “Intervention.”

16. Which character do you wish was developed more?

So many of them (I could spend so much time with nearly all of them). I think Anya would be my number one priority right now - they did a much better job in S7 than in all of 4-6, but it didn’t really make up for it. Runners-up: Tara, post-S5 Dawn, Riley, Jenny Calendar - basically every character brought in primarily to revolve around another character. Even if they hadn’t paid so much attention to Spike, he dodged this by getting into S4 before the big Buffy revelation in S5, so he would have been fine regardless. I guess Faith was actually brought in to revolve around Buffy but she did fine because she’s awesome, and Angel needed more but got it on his own show.

17. Which character do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

I think my answer should be Spike or Willow because I know they got a disproportionate amount of attention in the last couple of seasons, but also...I love them so I can’t genuinely wish that there was less of them. So I guess none of them, but if I had to cut some Spike or Willow content to make room for all the development I described above, I could live with it.

[kaziel]

why are chiss the way they are? aka canon is stupid and legends/the EU can kiss my ass (pt 1)

or, the chiss should not look Like That and i am pissed off about it. this began because i was mad that people kept calling chiss cold, but instead I did some research and made myself angry about character design.

disclaimer before we begin: i am not a biologist, but i know how to google shit. this post is fueled by rage and caffeine.

 Animals built for cold places should have hot blood and animals from hot climates should have cold blood. The opposite would end badly for the poor creature involved. cold blood in cold climate = hypothermia then death. Arctic animals must keep high body temperatures to remain active. Therefore, we can prove that the chiss are not coldblooded creatures (which had been settled already, they’re genetically closest to humans and humans aren’t lizards). 

Alright I’m sure we all have some basic knowledge of animal biology here, but I’m gonna jump right in. Animals that live in extreme cold all have one thing in common: insulation (S2). That’s necessary to keep them alive, or they’d end up as ice cubes floating in an ocean. This takes a few different forms, but mainly

blubber

fur

feathers

So the Chiss don’t have feathers, nor do they have fur, and apparently in legends canon, they all have trim figures (S3). Point 1 as to why legends is bullshit and kiss my ass- the chiss apparently have no kind of insulation. Either they have one hell of a body temperature and can burn enough calories to sustain it (unlikely) or it’s just bad writing. Either way, chiss as they are described could probably not be any colder than human body temperature and still expect to survive on an icy death world. Due to this, their skin probably would not feel cold to the touch (addressed more later) unless you were outside in the winter. Which, of course it’s going to be cold- anything skinlike and exposed is going to feel cold.

As chiss are an offshoot of humanity (S3), they probably wouldn’t differ too much from humanity without quite a long time to evolve. Clearly they had enough time to turn blue from glacial minerals (bullshit, but legends supported bullshit) though legends also states that didn’t develop any of the traits in typical cold weather animals. Why? Why is that? If you wanted a skinny, always in-shape species, at least choose a proper environment (like a desert). 

Well Cahs, if you’re so pissed about it, what would you have chiss look like? I’m glad you asked! The answer is 100% (slightly freezer-burnt) beef. The fact that fat chiss don’t exist? Bullshit. The trim figures that legends is so fond of would have the poor chiss dependent completely upon heating technology and good thermal clothing to keep warm. According to legends canon, chiss also have a crazy fast metabolism- which actually fits with arctic animals. Arctic animals have fast metabolisms to burn the large amounts of energy needed to stay warm and keep their bodies in the typical range for mammals (95-107 °F) (S2). Once created, Arctic animals must have some way to conserve the heat, otherwise the animal would have find and eat a ridiculous number of calories. This leads us back to our earlier problem: insulation. The key to keeping warm is often muscle and fat, a lot of it. Fat is good insulation and helps keep the body warm in the cold (S1, 2, 7) and it’s a common theme for cold weather animals to have a healthy supply. Examples: Blubber on whales and seals, animals gaining weight before winter. If there’s enough food around it’s easier for mammals to be larger, because heat production is proportional to mass (S5), thus arctic animals are usually larger than their warm weather counterparts. 

So let’s assume that if the chiss had enough time to turn blue, they had enough time to adjust the cold hellscape of their planet. 

To start with, they’d be larger and stronger than typical humans. Legends supports the ‘stronger’ part, though the average heights (chiss 1.7m vs human 1.77m) are about the same. Legends can kiss my ass; let’s set a new average height of 1.9m, or around 6′2″. Now, a figure without insulation is bullshit in an arctic environment is bullshit, so let’s add some Beef™ to these guys. They’d probably have a good layer of fat, and a decent amount of muscle. Now, as having a whole species share one body type is limiting, boring, and unrealistic (@ legends), there’s a huge amount of body shapes I can think of off the top of my head that could fit the above criteria. What I’m picturing is a strongman, one without the glossy abs (like this guy). Now, looking at features of other cold weather animals like polar bears and seals, they could (and probably should) have thicker/tougher skin. Spilling blood = loosing warmth, and loosing warmth is bad in cold environments. Polar bears and seals also have dark skin; polar bears have black skin, while seals can have dark shades of brown, purple, or black (S6). This is close enough to blue, I guess I’ll let that one and “”glacial minerals”” slide. The polar bear, arctic wolf, and arctic fox are a few notable examples of cold weather animals with fur- white fur. In the case of polar bears, translucent fur that appears white because of light refraction (S6). This fur usually has a downy, thick undercoat, and then a layer of oily, water repellent hair. The thick, water repellent hair is plausible in a human related species, I believe, and would be beneficial in keeping heads warm. I’m gonna go ahead and say they’d have some body hair too, probably a good amount. You can never have too much insulation if you live on (or under the surface of) a literal ice ball. Realistically, they’d overheat pretty damn fast. It’s possibly to tone that down considering humans can withstand a wide range of temperatures and the fancy thermal gear that exists in the star wars universe, but tatooine is probably still off the menu. So in summary chiss would be/have:

stronger/larger than humans

grey/blue skin

translucent/white hair

more muscle and fat

overheat very easily

warm-blooded

For the hell of it, I’m going to throw a better immune system and sharper senses into the mix, along with an arterial heat-passing system that allows for better heat conservation (S5). Chiss would also have some damn good appetites, because they’d need a lot of food with the metabolism they have. Additionally, it’s been confirmed in the new Thrawn novel that chiss have some measure of infrared vision, which is fitting for living in a rather bleak landscape and underground in caverns.  Legends says their skin and eyes are more vivid the higher the oxygen content. Sure, whatever, the oxygen content is probably pretty damn high in caves, and glowy eyes are handy. More likely, chiss just have very reflective eyes (good for the above ground brightness) that appear to glow red in darker areas. Like cat’s eyes in the dark.

counter argument: “they’re aliens!!1!” “it’s fiction!!!11!!”

I see your points, I do. However, if chiss are on offshoot of humanity, that means they originally evolved on a human world, with familiar human creatures that followed earth-like laws. If they didn’t, legends probably wouldn’t be so damn insistent on keeping them humans, but instead blue with edgy eyes. Also you want star wars hand waving? look at the “glacial minerals.”

Now, the chiss live underground. They wouldn’t be as exposed to the cold of the planet, however the crust of a planet is pretty damn thick so it probably wouldn’t be too much warmer down there without the help of technology. The chiss are also a very technologically advanced society, and have most likely have properly climate controlled buildings (probably cold for humans tho), good insulated clothing, and probably eliminated most of the need for cold weather traits. However, they were needed at some time. and de-evolution isn’t exactly quick. 

So all in all, star wars should check their shit when it comes to biology and y’all with a thing for white hair will be happy. 

thanks for coming to my ted talk, goodnight.

(next up: what fucking chemical could turn chiss blue)

SOURCES:

S1- https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-do-arctic-animals-stay-warm/ 

S2- http://www.coolantarctica.com/Antarctica%20fact%20file/science/cold_all_animals.php

S3 - http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chiss/Legends

S4- https://www.earthlife.net/mammals/warm.html

S5- https://biology.stackexchange.com/questions/5562/how-do-warm-blooded-animals-keep-their-temperatures-constant

S6- http://animals.mom.me/mammals-black-skin-9898.html

dubiously credible

S7- https://weather.com/health/news/do-fat-people-stay-warmer-cold-weather-thin-people-20140103

S8- https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/2ip5ov/do_skinny_people_have_a_lower_body_temperature/

[euro3plast-fr]

3 key themes from Brighton SEO 2017

Our round-up of this year's best seaside SEO conference

My trip to BrightonSEO this year was my first (and long overdue) time attending the conference and I can say with 100% confidence that it was worth the time and expense. Not only was there an awful lot of great lessons and insight from the conference but I was lucky enough to be in Brighton during the warmest weekend of the year so far!

One of the main motivations for attending BrightonSEO was my determination to stay up to date with the latest trends and developments. Although I am no longer primarily responsible for SEO in my current role at PepsiCo, being aware of how search is evolving and where it’s likely to go is still an important consideration, as I believe it will be for all types of business and brands in the coming years as I’ll highlight in the sections that follow.

Rather than produce a round-up of the individual sessions I attended at BrightonSEO, I’ll instead highlight some of the key themes and trends I took from away from the conference. There were a number of really good seminars and talks but of course I couldn’t attend them all so if anyone else has any notes of insight from the conference please feel free to share in the comments!

1. The future of search is multi-faceted

The conference kicked off with a section of the future of search, which for me was one of the highlights of the entire event. It was fascinating to learn that by 2020 50% of all searches will be made by voice and that consumers are 80% more likely to interact with image-based content, reinforcing the need for marketers to be forward-thinking in their approach to search and to consider content beyond just words.

The two stand-out speakers from this session were Raj Nijjer from Yext and Purna Virji from Microsoft. Raj focused more on the futuristic aspects of search, particularly in respect to AI and structured data, whilst Purna provided some great insights around keywordless searches. Here are some of the top takeaways:

Conversational, question-based searches using Alexa are now being made throughout households.

In fact it’s interesting to watch children using these intelligent devices because the questions they ask are vastly different to what we’re used to. For example, small children will ask real, conversational questions rather than keyword-based questions because they have no concept of how traditional search engines operate.

Google Home was launched in the UK on 6th April, the day before for conference started.

This is significant for two reasons: a) the device is currently cheaper than Amazon’s Echo, and b) it will have access to Google’s Knowledge Graph and immense search power. This will put an increased emphasis and importance on brands optimising for the Knowledge Graph because this is what will power voice searches and if you’re not here then you simply won’t show up.

 Organic search = structured data

Unless you’re utilising reviews, ratings, business type, times and location then you’re likely to miss out. This is evident for searches made on mobile using terms such as ‘cheapest’, ‘best’ or ‘closest’. On the Saturday after the conference I fancied a cream tea in the afternoon for lunch and my decision wasn’t guided just by the top results but by the ratings, reviews and ability to call ahead and enquire about availability. 87% of consumers won’t consider a business with a low number of reviews so brand reviews should be paired with ‘best...’/ ‘most popular...’ search entries

 2. Content relevance is more important than ever

The importance of ensuring content is as relevant as possible has been a theme now for a good number of years, however it felt particularly pertinent in light of the future of search session covered above when we consider the increasingly high standards consumers expect from search. This section had a mix technical (Google Tag Manager top tips) and planning (content distribution) but Marcus Tober from Searchmetrics offered some interesting philosophical points in respect to content strategy and the use of data.

Content needs to be data-driven and explore user intent in order to be successful.

80% of online content is ‘polluting the internet’- just consider the sheer amount of content produced by About.com. Yet when About.com’s recipe content is compared to thekitchen.com (US site) for example, the specialisation and increased relevance of the latter’s content has led to greater visibility despite far fewer indexed recipes on the domain

Content relevance is now the #1 ranking factor and there’s nothing technical SEO can do to help.

Because keyword intent correlates with the conversion funnel, content needs to be optimised accordingly, i.e. from awareness and consideration, through to transaction. An example of a brand missing out is Tesco, who produce very transactional pages for iPhones and Galaxy S5s yet haven’t produced an effective comparison page (consideration stage content) despite the huge search volume (aka consumer appetite) behind this query

A recommended content strategy for the new age of relevance follows three stages:

Specialise - content marketers should specialise on specific subjects rather than attempt to cover everything (i.e. thekitchen.com vs. about.com)

Clean-up - German site pflege.de removed 95% of the content that wasn't driving traffic and focused on improving the remaining 5%, leading to an overall increase in SEO visibility

Update - update and enrich existing content, and develop a more effective user experience to ensure content is user-friendly

 3. Behavioural science

The final session was the conference’s keynote speech and it was delivered by the wonderfully eloquent Rory Sutherland, vice chairman of Ogilvy & Mather and currently leading Ogilvy’s ‘behavourial interventions agency’ Ogilvy Change. Rory Sutherland is certainly no SEO expert and yet his keynote was designed not to provide the audience with the latest search trends but to inspire new thinking and perspectives that could help us all as digital marketers.

The world of behavioural science and economics has been covered before on this blog but Rory Sutherland highlighted a few additional areas of interest that is certainly worth summarising:

Over-optimisation is not necessarily the best course of action

When we optimise one particular variable there is a cost elsewhere. Nature never purely optimises along one direction, for example bees! When a honey bee locates a food source they perform a carefully choreographed "waggle" dance to instruct the rest of the hive where to find it.

Yet 20% of the bees ignore the dance, which at first glance seems odd - why not go where the food is? The reason is that if all the bees leave the hive they’ll be open to attack and there’s a risk they will starve. The remaining 20% are the ‘R&D’ bees who focus on new areas and food sources

Always budget for test & learn

The honey bee example above demonstrates the value in always having a balance between the short and long-term. The implication is that marketers should take a balanced approach to planning and have two budgets:

Harvesting budget (80%) - focus on doing the everyday things right and profit at a reasonable rate in the short run

Speculative budget (20%) - test and learn new ideas and build for the future. There will be failures but if the big era pay off they will generate value in the long run

Perception is everything

Instead of looking to optimisation to make an improvement, consider changing the metric instead. Look for things which are objectively similar but subjectively different – or vice versa.

For example, instead of making the trains arrive more frequently (optimisation) London Underground started to include projected arrival times on the platform. No optimisation occurred yet customers were happier because the psychology changed - London Underground had simply reduced uncertainty (who'd happened to be the real issue, rather than a desire for more frequent trains)

Summary

Like most conferences BrightonSEO offered a mix of brand new, innovative insights and best practice updates. As digital marketers it’s always important to get a balance of the two, similar to the short/ long-term test & learn recommendation Rory Sutherland made in his keynote.

The stand-out insights for me was around the future of search, and whilst some elements are still in their infancy, other areas such as voice are starting to really take hold, particularly with the rise in adoption of more advanced intelligent devices such as Amazon Echo and Google Home. Unlike traditional web search where Google has dominated, voice is very fragmented space, with Microsoft, Amazon, Apple and of course Google all competing for share. These early days give us all a real opportunity to experiment, test and learn and best ways to reach consumers in a rapidly changing and evolving search ecosystem.

  from Blog – Smart Insights http://www.smartinsights.com/search-engine-optimisation-seo/seo-strategy/3-key-themes-brighton-seo-2017/