#the already happeing war actually. its just too far removed from me that part of me still thinks i can pretend its not happened yet
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#the world is depressing and im exhausted#being ignorant feels wrong but educating myself makes me sad#its too far away and i cant do anything to help#all i can do is offer some small kindness to the people i encounter in my life#i cant save entire countries#i wouldnt even know where to start#i have my own problems too its too much for me to think about the world's issues all the time too#i cant fix anything#such a big sad world#didnt expect to be having an existential crisis right now but. here we are#i wish i could do more#i wish i didn't have to do more#i wish there was harmony#but since theres not i wish there was a way i could actually help#lamenting on the internet about stuff doesnt do shit but i dont know what to do to help#pretty much useless in the grand concept of the world#like yeah i can smile at a cashier but thats not going to stop the very imminent war tho#the already happeing war actually. its just too far removed from me that part of me still thinks i can pretend its not happened yet#but it is. and it sucks#that john mulaney bit where that town built a bench in the middle of the civil war?#i feel like that. ill just water my plants and pretend so many people arent killed for arbitrary reasons so i can try for one minute#to not be sad at the state our species has let this world get to#death would be easier than all this neverending sadness but. then who would water my plants? who would smile at the cashier?#i cant fix the world. cant fix anything really but maybe those small actions do make a difference#gerard way (the dumb name i call my fav plant) is almost 3 years old. my fish sunny is 2 in a few months#theyre both alive because i care for them and love them#but do a plant with a name and a tiny fish really matter at all when the world is a garbage fire being fueled by hatred?#probably not. and the thing is? if those got sick i couldnt fix them either#iv been lucky that my pets and plants have been healthy. if they were to be infected with the sickness thats seeped into this worlds essence#personal
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