#the allusion of rosquez

[twosdays-trash]

Everything in its right place Part 1

Enea-centric hurt/comfort Shapeshifter Au- 3K

heres some art i drew for this au too :D! -=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-=+=-

As a kid growing up in Italy and a fan of racing you automatically become a Valentino Rossi fan, it's a right of passage Enea supposes, and he's no stranger. He admired the man, the god himself, Valentino, which is why he was shocked that the man approached him. 

It was the hours following free practice and Enea's stomach was growling, and he had forgotten to put some fresh food into his fridge, so he figured the best course of action was to go out to the store and get something easy to make. Peeling himself off of the couch in his motorhome and grabbing his wallet he made his way out the door and started walking in the direction of the closest store. Only, he couldn't get more than four steps away from the motorhome when he was stopped by none other than Valentino Rossi.

“Hello,” Valentino Greeted, a small smile on his face. He is wearing his merch or something that looks like it. There is a little helmet and VR48 with something written below, but Enea can't tell what it says. The jacket he's wearing isn't too far off from regular Valentino Rossi Merch so Enea doesn't bat an eye at it too much.

“Ah, Hello Mr Rossi,” Enea greets back, shakey and weirdly out of breath despite the fact he has hardly moved. 

“Mr Rossi!” Valentino Guffaws, “Please kid, just call me Vale. Mr Rossi makes me feel old!”

You are old Enea thinks offhandedly, but does not voice this though. “Sorry.”

Vale waves a hand through the air placidly, “Bah, it's no worries. Besides, it's only a natural response right?”

“Yeah, I suppose so,”  Enea shrugs. He's not sure if this is how the conversation between his literal idol and himself should have gone. It probably would have been a lot smoother if he weren't processing this on the fumes of what he had for breakfast before practice. 

 “So…” 

“Hm?”

“What did you need?”

“Ah! that right! I came here to ask you a question for next year!

Puzzled, Enea cocks his head to the side and furrows his brows. Next year? Does he mean my seat or something else?

“you mean for what seat I'm going for?”

“yes! I was wondering if you would like to join the Academy?-”

THE academy team that he started this year?

“-There is an open space and we were wondering if you would like to join. We’ve been watching you all season and looked into your past seasons in other categories and we like how you’re doing things!”

“So. you're asking me if I want to join the Academy team next year?”

“yep,” Vale nods, a smile on his face.

“What is the academy like?”

“What is it like?”

“yeah, how does training work? Is it group or individual programs? How would it work?”

Vale crosses his arms, furrows his brows, and squints his eyes, thinking, “Hmm… well, yes to both things you asked about the groups or individuals.” he unfurls himself and starts gesturing with his hands loudly and continues talking.

“most of the training and practice comes in groups. I like to think of the academy as a little family of sorts, so we normally do things together. A majority of the time training takes place at my ranch in Tavulia where we review races together, practice riding on the dirt tracks, and also work out sometimes.”

Ah, so they do everything together basically.

“We also do some one-on-one things if you have specific concerns about something, or if there is something that you or we feel the need to change. Most of the boys in the academy have a room at the ranch for when they are staying for more than the day, so you could also have your own room. No shared room though!”

Enea nods his head along to everything that Vale is saying. Group everything. Gosh, that sounds like heaven and hell all at once. He would have the ability to talk to people, hang out with Valentino fucking Rossi, AND ride bikes as much as he wants. However, the never-ending togetherness, and the ability to practice, process, and perfect his craft all by himself would be hellish. 

The thought of not having the ability to workout alone without the group sounds horrible. On a good day, he can hardly handle going to public gyms during rush hour when it's mostly older men, but that same amount of time but with teenagers his age or younger working out together in an enclosed space does NOT sound productive in his mind.

He also thinks of his shifting abilities. How he can’t go for that long without shifting, and still has his times where he accidentally shifts because of too many emotions happening all at once. More times than Enea can count he has shifted the moment he got behind closed doors from all the excitement of the day finally getting out. He thinks about the times when he accidentally shifted before getting to his motorhome and having to hide, feeling all too big while hiding between or underneath whatever thing was closest to his giant furry body. He thinks about the many times when he accidentally scratched Carlo, Mr. Gresini, or his parent with his giant claws and gangly limbs. Of all the animals that Enea could shift into a Bear was probably the worst one.

“That all sounds wonderful, but could I get some time to think about it?”

A soft smile crosses Vales's face and Enea feels a soft tingling at his fingertips that he ignores.

“Of course you can.”

“Is there a final date you need an answer by?”

“Yep, by the end of the season.”

Ok. the end of the season is in a few months, that should be enough time to figure out his response, right?

…

…

It does end up being enough time. The next day after qualifying, Enea brings up his conflicts with the offer to his manager, Carlo. He brings up all the beautiful things that Vale brought up, but also all the things that he's worried will or might happen. He brings up his worries of shifting in front of them, and how that would end horribly, especially with the animal that he is. 

Carlo had stated that he believes that Enea should stay there at Gresini, but if he felt it was necessary to leave then he could do so. Enea didn't want to leave though, he loved this tight-knit family of a team that he had the luck to be a part of. With Mr Gresini being almost like a second dad to him, it just felt wrong to leave that alone, but Enea also felt that the team was getting stronger and was going to go far in the coming season.

So on Saturday night, Enea made it his choice to find Valentino and reject his offer as softly as possible. Maybe he would do the whole ‘it no you, it's me’ to Vale, and a snicker manages to force its way out of Enea's mouth as he walks down the motorhome lane. Making his way towards the VR46 homes he tries to script the rejection in his brain as softly and swiftly as possible.

Hello Vale, no that sounds too formal. Hi Vale, I’ve come here to discuss your inquiry? to discuss your offer. The offer is better. Ok. Hi Vale, I'm here to discuss your offer, could we talk inside maybe? Would that be rude since I'm inviting myself into his motorhome? Wait, it's not even his! Oh god, this is going to go terribly.

—————————

MotoGP Rookie year

Even though he had turned down Vale's offer he still sometimes joins the Academy in some of their escapades and training sessions despite not being a part of the academy. It is nice having friends in such a cutthroat sport like MotoGP, but Enea has sadly (or gladly, he supposes) that he has never had the chance or time to build such a close relationship with the other drivers that a falling out would be a devastation. Like how the falling out with Marc and Vale went. The topic has become taboo in the Ranch household, even though you cannot mention racing without either Marc or Vale without there being the intertwining of the two. It's beautiful in a strange way, he supposes. 

Despite this, the bond of the Academy drivers, both Ex and current, is unbelievably strong. A lot of times Enea feels like an outsider to the group though, which he is in a way, but it's still strange. 

There are references and inside jokes that are made that he doesn't understand. Sometimes a joke is made and some of the academy members will give me this wide-eyed panicked look, like he’ll be learning whatever secret reference they made with a four-word joke. 

Enea is a people person, an extrovert. He loves talking and chatting and hanging out with people he holds dear and strangers all the same. So when he starts feeling like he's not wanted somewhere it stings a little bit, but it's nothing new. he knows he's chatty and he knows when to stop based on facial and body language alone. But seeing this behavior come from his friends hurts on a whole new level.

Sometimes it's unbearable. Like there's a tension settled over the house whenever he's there, and Enea knows that it has to do with him. On the bad days, he can always feel someone watching him, staring at him at almost constant times. He asked about it before, sort of.

 Typically on these days, someone from the group is missing, whether that's Vale, Pecco, Bez, Cele, Mig, Franky, or whoever, someone is always missing, and when Enea enters the building and asks “Where are they?” It's like he asked if he could invite Marc Marquez to the ranch or like he killed someone's grandma.

He doesn't understand, and they don't try to help him understand, so he stops trying. When he sees someone missing he stops asking. When they make a joke he doesn't understand he looks at his phone or away to pretend he isn't listening. He starts making excuses now and then so that he doesn't have to go to the ranch and so that he doesn't feel like an outsider with his friends. More and more often it starts to feel like Family PLUS Enea, and he just can't stand that feeling.

It's a slow process, pulling away. He tries to do it slowly, missing a few meets throughout a couple of months, then slowly adding more and more excuses to the board. It gets to the point where he starts scheduling hangouts with other people and sponsoring events on the days that their get-togethers happen. Putting so much effort into missing these hangouts makes Enea feel like an asshole, it weighs on him and he sure as hell hopes that no one can see the amount of pressure it's putting on him. 

These get-togethers were some of the few times when he could hang out with his friends with no worries about the media or anything, but now that he's hardly talking to them the pressure is building and building. Similar to how he can't go too long without shifting, he also cannot go a long time without interactions with his friends. Speaking of, Enea figures now would be the best time to shift during this weekend. It's Thursday evening and he's completed all the media and video requirements earlier in the day. He thinks that this will probably be the only free time he will have in the coming future. 

The TV in his Motorhome is playing softly on a random cartoon station, Enea hoped it would bring him comfort but after staring blankly at the little characters on the screen for 30 minutes he resigned himself to shifting for the night. He's always tried to hold off shifting for as long as possible, simply on the count of how dangerous and destructive his animal form is. Not because he goes feral or loses all inhibitions, no, it's because of his size and physical attributes that come along with being a black bear. 

He finds that it's hard to hide while a bear, especially if he shifts to places like cities or towns not near forests at all. Not only hiding is hard but so is moving in the safety of his motorhome. Since bears are so big the floor always creaks dangerously when he walks and he always ends up tearing or breaking something in the home. The amount of times he's torn the blankets and pillows on his bed from trying to cuddle them is too many to count. Not to mention all of the glasses and bowls he's broken when trying to get something to drink. 

After a day or night of shifting, Enea always feels a pit of dread and embarrassment. It's always so embarrassing to go up to his manager and mumble I’ve ripped the sheets again or I broke some more glasses.  Maybe Enea should start asking for plasticware instead of glass so that he doesn't have to deal with that conversation. He should also look into some heavy-duty blankets and pillows so that he doesn't have to confront the team again, to see their pitying looks at something he can't control.

Enea, tiredly sits forward on the couch, resting his head in his hands and sighs. He can only put off shifting for so long, so pushing his hands on his knees he stands up and makes his way to the kitchen to get some things ready for his shift.

A big metal bowl for water, a giant bag of nuts and dried fruit trail mix, another giant metal bowl to put the trail mix into, and a couple of large towels to place under the water bowl. Hands full he brings all the materials into his room, placing the bag on the bed, an empty bowl next to the door, and the large towels next to the bowl. He brings the other empty bowl back into the kitchen to fill it with water, before carefully making his way back into his room and setting it down softly on the towels.

Sighing heavily he turns around and grabs the bag of trail mix, tears it open, and pours it into the food bowl on the ground. God, he feels like he's feeding a dog. An animal. Which, he supposes he is but this just feels a little demoralizing. 

Once the bag is empty he walks back to the kitchen to throw the bag away, checks the door is locked, windows are closed, and everything is prepared for the shift he makes his way over to the couch. Enea has always found it easier to have a distraction while he shifted so that it wasn't too abrupt or painful, so he sat down on the floor in front of the TV and let the transformation happen. 

The shift happens both too fast and too slow, the tingling sensation starting at his fingertips and making its way up his arms, into his chest, legs, and head. He feels so heavy and light at the same time like a weight is being lifted from his human shoulders and being placed into the belly of his bear form.

He blinks and the world has shifted, it's a little taller, more daunting. Carefully Enea moves his paws around, making sure he has full control of all his limbs when he hears the careful but sharp knocks at his door.

If I don't move or do anything they will walk away. Surely.

“Enea?”

Uh oh. This is the worst. Seriously? Of all times for Vale to try and talk to me? The ONE time where I willingly shift. God.

Enea sits as still as he possibly can, controlling his breaths so carefully to make sure the heavy breaths that naturally come with being a bear aren't heard through the door. 

It's silent for another minute when Vale knocks again, “I'm not sure if you can hear me Enea, but I can hear the TV so I assume you're on the couch.”

Shit.  

“-that's ok, I don't always want to answer the door either! So, I figured that I may as well talk to you through the door.”

Enea holds his breath, hoping for Vale to just get this over with. He just wants to go back to his bed, try to cuddle the blankets again, and sleep the night away. 

“I and some of the others have noticed that you've been missing a lot of get-togethers, and that's not an issue since you're a rookie. You have a lot of obligations to attend to, I understand. But, you’ve missed over half the get-togethers that have happened this year and were worried.” Enea can hear a muffled sigh from Vale. 

He didn't want to worry them, that's why he tried to carefully pull away.

There is a shuffle outside the door and Vale starts up again, “It's ok for you to be struggling, it's normal and we are here to support you through thick and thin. We want to help you.” he starts to sound exasperated, “Let us help you. Whatever is wrong, just tell me.”

He can hear Vale take a deep breath, a calming breath probably. Enea can just imagine the look on his face, a look that is rarely given to him simply because he tries to make sure there is nothing to worry about with him. 

He's seen the look directed at Pecco, Bez, Luca, and honestly, most people are a part of the Academy. But since Enea has always kept high spirits, never talking about his worries or fears, the look has never been angled his way. 

When Vale looks worried it's like seeing a dad worried about his kid who just fell off their bike and scraped their knee. He knows that they will be ok, it's just a scratch, but he still worries because he never wants his kid to hurt. The way that Valentino's brows furrow, wrinkling his forehead, makes him look his age. His mouth always ticks down in a little frown before pursing, listening to whatever issue is being discussed. He will always kiss his teeth and wave his hands around, moving around sharply but fluidly, showing that it's okay and things can be fixed. 

Enea wished he could see the look directed at himself for once.

“I’ll leave you alone now, but when you feel up to it, talk to me. Please?”

Silence.

“ok, I’ll see you later.”

There's another pause, then the muffled sounds of Vale walking down the stairs and away from the motorhome. Enea makes sure not to move for another few minutes before deeming it safe for him to move. 

He shifts himself forward to stand on his paws and chuffs to himself, upset that he's managed to worry Vale when he tried so hard to make sure he didn't disappoint or worry anyone. maneuvering his body around the living room he takes soft but creaky steps towards his bedroom. Briefly Enea stops at the doorway to drink water and eat some of the trail mix he left for himself before climbing onto the bed. the springy mattress creaking and groaning as he settles into the middle. 

Maybe tomorrow will be better.