#the ac hearing the wind hearing someone write hearing the pcs cooling system. yeah
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crazy how loud harsh music helps me focus and actually reduces noise in my brain and stimulates it whilst being in a loud chatty class environment makes it so fucking hard to do any work
#nah it makes sense to me it's just i wanna express this idea but i do not know how to word it. so im making it sound like disbelief instead#LMAO i am not having a great way with words lately#ig its cuz its controlled noise + its repetitive + its music I like + ots predictable if u have heard it 7264726 times#like yeah starfuckers cc remix will help me focus cuz it gives me 1-2 things to focus on compared to hearing my class talk hearing a#keyboard feeling the table shake from someone writing hearing 3 convos at once having to focus on the teacher giving instructions hearing#the ac hearing the wind hearing someone write hearing the pcs cooling system. yeah#just noticed recently how the moment i sit down at my desk i immediately put on my headphones on at least one year even if im about to just#scroll on tiktok#and then i decided to take them off once and the silence WAS NOT VERY SILENT#and at the same time it wasn't distracting but at the same time ir was????? like i can filter out background noise#but it takes effort or me having to enjoy what im focusing on?? and music just makes it so much easier to not worry about the bg noise#tbh im with headphones all the time except during lessons so like.. i feel like i cant make a conclusion lol#but it does help my brain not get distracted and not remember whatever i hate about a task im doing#i decided to not play music recently in a car ride to school.....#NIGHTAMRE ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE i did not feel awake for the whole school day it felt like i was stuck at 7am cuz i didnt do THAT ONE THING#not a routine I shoukd have broken#ive never felt so not awake snd weird and disoriented pls#ok rant over#rumaiq rambles
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