#the PRESSURE to maintain that privilege?? good god it's damn near broke me too many times
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gonna get personal in the tags. venting time babeyyy
#see the thing about having a scholarship is#it most definitely is a privilege economically speaking#but most of the time it feels like you're wearing a tighter noose throughout your whole career#the PRESSURE to maintain that privilege?? good god it's damn near broke me too many times#can't slip up with any grade. subjects that shouldn't have such high stakes always do#you WILL react badly to anything below a certain number and some teachers will tell you to 'not worry so much abt that'#'bc you're here to learn'#guess what. i am constantly being judged by whatever little digit you write on your grading system so. i cannnot learn#not the way i wish to at least#it's SO frustrating bc i feel like i cant get anything wrong#when the whole POINT of being in a learning institution is to MAKE MISTAKES and get better#meanwhile i feel like i have to already be good before even starting#do you know how mentally draining that is#and well. there's not much i can do#because if i'm not willing to lose that scholarship you know damn well i can't drop out either. that's a No for me#i just hope my enjoyment of ut doesn't completely fade away too quickly#sigh. i'm tired#sara talks nonsense#college
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