#the Lying About Being Forgetful allegations were bullshit but i was not beating them bc i did routinely lie to my stepmom

[tealfruit]

when I was a senior in high school I was in Advanced Algebra. I don't remember if that was the proper name for the class but whatever. it was the Algebra class that you got placed in if you scored high enough on the ACT and hadn't selected a specific other math course. there was only 9 people in the class including me.

the structure of the class was that the teacher would go over the content of a chapter and show us how to do the math, we'd be given a specific set of problems from the textbook to do, and 2-3 days of class to do them. we could do them at home or in class, and because it was a small class we were encouraged to help each other with the material. then we'd have a test every few chapters. while the teacher was very cool and generally everyone liked him, he was also from I think Algeria and had a heavy accent and us American teenagers sometimes had some minor trouble understanding him. so I ended up helping my classmates A Lot.

another thing about when I was in my senior year is that my stepmom was very abusive. there were often times when I was allowed to do Literally Nothing at home (including reading and drawing). so my most common strategy was to do Zero Work in class, and spend it drawing or reading or whatever I felt like doing that I was totally allowed to do at school but couldn't do at home. and then when I went home, I'd do the homework. because it was ALL I could do. and Mr. Agyemang was cool with it, bc I clearly understood the material enough to help my peers with it and usually got 100% on the assignment when I turned it in. (I also explained the situation to him. he was chill about it.)

the issue arose during the few times when I WASNT grounded from Being Alive, so when I got home I had other things I could do besides homework. and lemme tell you: when youre autistic and have ADHD and your choices are either "do math homework (work)" or "stare at wall (BORING)", math homework looks pretty damn appealing. but when your choices are "do math homework (work)" or "play solitaire and listen to Paramore on your laptop (enjoyable)", the homework becomes impossible. like pulling teeth.

the first time there was an assignment I just straight up hadn't finished, Mr. Agyemang was so disappointed in me and I felt so bad. cuz it's not like I didn't know the stuff. even if I zoned out while he was teaching, I could usually figure out from the textbook what I was doing, and if I still wasn't sure I could ask him or one of my other classmates to clarify some things. so it wasn't an issue of me knowing how to do the work, it was an issue of me just not doing it. which, for an undiagnosed ADHD haver, isn't a great look.

I had to adapt my strategy and do the work during class so that I could have fun at home. and it took maybe a little longer to figure that out than I'd care to admit. but it also meant Everyone knew when I was MegaGrounded so that was weird. and still nobody bothered to check out what the issue with my brain was. I think if been prescribed Vyvanse at 8 years old instead of 28 years old I could've at least finished college but. nobody guessed the Smart Girl could possibly have brain issues, they just thought I was Weird and also Lazy (and probably Lying about being so Forgetful bc i was so Smart)