#the 5sos calm app songs are....something

[evilrry]

i hope its like. something new and not just ws reworked like how 5sos did

[karajaynetoday]

everybody's got their demons, even wide awake or dreaming | part two

Photo credit: Jess Gleeson

Hello friends! Hope you’re having a lovely day. It’s time for part two of this series! Lizzie takes her opportunity to interview Calum one-on-one in this part. If you need to catch up on Part One, you can do that here. Onwards! 

(This is a fem!OC story)

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: none? i don’t think? 

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

The day or so leading up to Lizzie’s one on one interview with Calum was a blur, as Lizzie tried to fix her body clock and orientate herself with how to get around LA. Her boss had offered her the opportunity to hire a rental car, but the idea of driving on the wrong side of the road was too much for Lizzie to stomach, so Ubers were the go. 

Her body sometimes overslept, sometimes woke her up at 4am, so Lizzie had downloaded a yoga and meditation app to try and sort herself out. She might’ve almost given herself a concussion after toppling over while trying to do a particularly tricky pose, but no one needed to hear about that. The bruises on her elbow were embarrassing enough. 

Danielle had sent Lizzie a text the morning of her lunchtime interview with Calum, confirming the time and place as they’d discussed. Lizzie had handwritten some notes for her questions, trying to contemplate what she could ask Calum that would differ to the others. Or maybe she should ask them all the same questions, and then in the piece she could compare and contrast responses? It was so hard to know what would make the best piece, especially with interviewing Calum in particular. Lizzie knew from watching other interviews, and in her group interview with all of the band the other day (and from back in their school days) that Calum was a man of few words. When he did speak, it was usually with purpose and thought, and made for some great content, but he wasn’t always particularly forthcoming. Which is why it had surprised Lizzie that Calum had volunteered for the first solo interview, but given Michael’s behaviour, she was glad to be continuing with the profile piece at all. 

It was a really warm day, so Lizzie had to forego her usual blazer and jeans in favour of a long green dress with blue and white flowers on it. Her hands were sweaty as the Uber pulled up to the café Calum had suggested, and something in the back of Lizzie’s mind suggested it wasn’t just from the weather. She’d always been an anxious person, but she’d gotten a handle on it recently; this whole LA debacle had brought it back with a vengeance. 

Calum was waiting for her just in front of the café, dark wayfarer sunglasses covering his eyes and his phone in his hand as he leant up against the brick wall beside the café door. He was wearing a grey hoodie and jeans, and nobody coming in or out of the café seemed to pay him any attention; but then again maybe people of Calum’s level of fame were just part of the furniture around here. It was near to Hollywood, after all.

“Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet me.” Lizzie’s voice wasn’t overly loud, but it still made Calum jump as he looked up from his phone at her.

“Of course, of course. I know I sound like a broken record, but we really are excited for you to do this piece. The new album era is something I’ve been looking forward to for a while, and - “ Calum began, smiling warmly at Lizzie, who cut him off by pulling open the café door.

“Before you start getting all meaningful and quotable on me, shall we get a coffee and take a seat?” 

“A woman after my own heart. Let’s do it. Pro-tip, the brownies here are to die for.”

The café was bustling, but most of the patrons seemed to be lining up for takeaway orders. Calum stepped ahead of Lizzie and slipped into a booth towards the back, near a frosted window, greeting the wait staff by name as he went. Lizzie scurried after him, apologising as she accidentally bumped into a tall man with her shoulder bag in her haste and he glared at her. Guess not everyone was as friendly as Calum, then. She slid into the booth opposite Calum, pulling out her notebook and phone as she went. 

“Is it okay if I record this? I’m not very good at taking notes.” 

“Straight into it, LL? At least let a man have his coffee first.” Calum deadpanned, and Lizzie felt her face fall before she realised he was joking with her.

“Of course, sorry. Let’s order. The brownies, you said? How big are they?” Lizzie pasted a smile onto her face, grabbing for the menu on the table in front of her.

“I have it on good authority that they’re perfectly Lizzie-sized. Calum-sized, too - a real multipurpose snack.” Calum was teasing her now, but also being completely serious, as he got the attention of a waitperson who came over to welcome them and take their orders. A skinny latté for Lizzie, an iced coffee for Calum, and a warmed up chocolate brownie with a side of coconut yogurt for them each. They fell into easy conversation, about the weather, and Calum’s neighbourhood, and the other pieces Lizzie had written, almost forgetting why they were there in the first place. When their order of coffees and brownies arrived, Lizzie suddenly snapped out of her feeling of ease when she had to push her notebook and phone over on the table and remember that she was supposed to be interviewing Calum Hood, 5SOS bassist, not catching up with Calum Hood, her Year 9 science lab partner. 

“Now that you’ve got your coffee, can I start recording?” Lizzie asked timidly, as she took a bite out of her brownie and audibly groaned at how heavenly it tasted.

“Depends. Will your brownie orgasm be mentioned in the article?” Could Calum say anything that wasn’t teasing her? Damn it.

“Maybe. Perhaps I’ll do a twitter thread of my trip food highlights, given that the profile piece will be under embargo until the album comes out.” Lizzie deadpanned right back, earning a smile and a small chuckle from Calum.

Lizzie hit record on her phone’s voicenote app, sliding the phone into the centre of the table. She flipped open her notebook to the page marked “Calum”, and she could see Calum trying to read her writing upside down.

“No spoilers, mate. I’ve got a strategy here.” Lizzie mused, angling her notebook so it was harder for Calum to see as he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Well then, Ms Lawson from Junkee Australia, do your worst.” He flashed her a grin, before taking a sip of his coffee followed by a bite of his brownie (sans any groaning… that must only be a first-time brownie thing).

“So, in our chat yesterday, it was mentioned that this next album is, in some ways, a letter to your homeland, and a reflection on your journeys so far as individual artists as well as being 5SOS collectively. For you, as Calum Hood, what’s the main contribution or perspective that you feel you’ve brought to this album, and the band?” Lizzie saw a flicker of something in Calum’s eyes as she shifted into journalist mode easily, but he only paused for another sip of coffee before answering.

“I think at this point, my main contribution is balancing the collective contributions in the room. I have a lot to say, and I do a lot of songwriting, but I also think the others would agree that I’m also quite observant, so I can read a lot into things they’re saying, or not saying, and bring it out of them into the music. We’ve known each other for almost half our lives at this point, so we know each other better than anyone else, but when we work with other co writers and things like that it can be hard to feel entirely comfortable with the vulnerability you need to bring into writing a song or telling a particular story that day. I’ve got the rep as the strong, silent, shy type, I know - “ Calum paused and returned the soft smile Lizzie was giving him, as she nodded encouragingly. 

“But in interviews, when I’m being asked to explain myself and validate my artistic choices, I’m immediately more defensive and protective of it, because there’s something magical about the writing room, and the vulnerability that can only exist in that context when we’re songwriting, and creating that art. The end product, which is the song or the album or whatever, conveys the emotions in a way that I could never say them with words, and the beautiful thing is that so many people can listen to it and relate to it in ways that I’d never considered before. But that’s the power of it, you know? We make these songs to express ourselves, and fulfil our creative outlets, but it extends beyond that, and that’s the part that gets me.” Calum finished speaking and reached for another sip of his coffee.

“Right. The magic exists in the studio, and on the stage, and in individual people’s lives when they listen to the music wherever they are in the world, and it’s the connecting thread that brings you together with your fans, a moment that you can share even if you never meet.”

“Exactly, it’s the universal experience, and everyone has their own interpretation of what it means to them. Pisses me off when people try and dig to find out who we wrote a certain song about, or whatever. Sometimes it is a specific person or a moment, other times I make shit up to suit the vibe of a chord progression or a concept someone’s brought to the table. It’s a juicier headline if we name and shame, but it’s not fair to the person I’m writing about, especially if they don’t have a similar outlet for a right of reply, and it’s also irrelevant, because my meaning behind a song could be completely different to yours, but that doesn’t make it less valid.” Calum shrugs as he speaks, his tone calm and nonchalant. 

“Makes sense. The music can exist as art, and be open to interpretation, like everything in life. And with this album, and reflecting on your homeland… what does that mean, for you? Because 5SOS have lived almost their entire adult lives overseas, so I know it must be hard to self-determine a cultural identity that’s so strongly linked to somewhere you haven’t lived for so long.” Lizzie asks, munching down another bite of brownie.

Calum cocks his head to the side and rolls his bottom lip into his mouth, and Lizzie feels a lump rise in her throat. Had she phrased the question wrong? Was he mad? Had she struck a nerve? Fuck. 

“Sorry, we don’t have to - I mean, we can keep discussing the album in a different way if you’d prefer -” Lizzie started babbling, and she froze when Calum reached across the table and rested on hers reassuringly. 

“Breathe, Lawson. I just need a minute to think about a deep and meaningful response to your question. You’re fine.” Calum was speaking softly, and there was an apology of sorts in his eyes when Lizzie glanced over at him. She was about to ask him something else, when a waitress came over to check on how everything was going with their orders and offered a second round of coffees and Calum withdrew his hand from the table as he ordered another iced coffee to go, times two. 

“If you could have it ready to go in about an hour, that’d be great.” Calum flashed the waitress a smile, and she shot him a wink as she headed back to the counter to update his order.

“A whole ‘nother hour? You spoil me, Mr Hood.” Lizzie joked, downing the last of her coffee and desperately hoping to avoid any awkwardness in her remaining interview time with Calum. 

“Anything for a fellow Australian, mate. To answer your question, it’s strange, because yes I’ve never lived there full time as an adult, but there’s something about your home country and your hometown that stays with you, no matter where you go or how long you’re gone. Obviously, for me, my sister lives overseas, and neither of my parents were raised in Australia, but it still means a lot to me, because it’s home, you know? The industry there is… interesting, but I still think that if we didn’t have the background we all have as individuals and the band, there’s certainly a lot of decisions we’ve made and ways we’ve gone about things in our careers that are heavily influenced by our upbringings and the mindsets we all have from that experience.” 

“Home is where the heart is, right?” Lizzie offers, thumbing her notebook absently. 

“It’s true. But it’s also refreshing to go back and escape it all a bit, you know? None of my friends at home really give a shit about Calum from 5SOS. They just like hanging out with Cal, which is nice.” Calum shrugs, clasping his hands together on the table in front of him.

“Just Cal? Not cool guy Cal? C Dizzle Swizzle?” Lizzie bit back a grin, remembering the multitude of nicknames Cal had garnered over the years.

“Look, cool guy Cal is just my constant state of being. C Dizzle might make an appearance if I’ve had one too many, but either way, they’re just happy to see me. Or happy to tell me some home truths that I haven’t heard, or wanted to hear, so that’s important too. You can’t live in LA for as long as we have without having a good support crew to keep us grounded, you know? Even if some of the ones who mean the most to us are on the other side of the planet.” There was something in Calum’s eyes again as Lizzie looked at him, and she could tell it was more than what he was trying to say for the sake of the profile interview. 

She swallowed down one final bite of the heavenly brownie, and turned the page to find her next question. Lizzie couldn’t entertain the idea of asking Calum why Michael was mad at her, because it would break the air of professionalism she was desperate to maintain; also, she wasn’t entirely sure he’d even tell her. Calum and Michael had been inseparable in their school days, and Lizzie knew that their bond and sense of loyalty no doubt ran even deeper now than then, given all of their shared experiences, trials and tribulations to date. But Calum had always been so kind and patient with her, whether she’d accidentally ruined their Year 9 science experiment, or she’d nearly thrown up on his shoes at the Year 11 formal after party, or when Michael had stormed out of the studio a few days ago and he offered her his time for the first solo interview. Lizzie brushed off the train of thought, and continued with her interview questions for Calum.

The conversation flowed easily, and Lizzie could already feel the profile starting to come together in her mind. She jotted down a handful of notes on how to adapt her questions for Luke and Ashton based on Calum’s responses, and before they realised how long they’d been chatting, the waitress returned with Calum’s two takeaway iced coffees. 

Lizzie asked the waitress for the bill, but Calum waved her off. 

“I’ve got it, Lizzie. Don’t stress.” 

“But I can expense it! I have a receipts app, and everything!” Calum laughed at how excited Lizzie seemed at the concept of submitting a work expense claim.

“Okay, fine. You win this round.” 

Lizzie pressed stop on her phone recording, and reached for her bag to slide her notebook in. The waitress returned with the bill, and Lizzie handed her travel bank card over, drumming her hands absentmindedly on the table while she waited for the waitress to come back with her card and the receipt. 

“Lizzie?” Her head snapped up as Calum spoke. 

“He’s not… I know it seems like he’s really mad at you, but he’s not.” It took a moment for Lizzie to register what Calum was saying.

“He’s not mad at me? He refused to speak to me and stormed out of the room the first chance he got, but he’s not mad? Right.” Lizzie couldn’t help but sound bitter as she spoke.

“I can’t speak for him, but I know him. He’s not mad, he’s just hurt about everything.” Lizzie could tell Calum was being very careful with his choice of words, and she eyed him curiously across the table.

“What does he possibly have to be hurt about? He’s the one that -” Lizzie catches herself halfway through her sentence, and squeezes her eyes shut as she inhales deeply.

“Here’s your receipt and your card back, miss. Thanks so much for visiting us today, have a lovely day!” Lizzie blinks and squints up at the waitress, who hands back her card and a paper receipt. Lizzie mumbles her thanks, and goes to stand up and slide out of the booth, and Calum follows her out of the café.

“Lizzie, I didn’t mean to upset you -” Calum’s apologetic tone had Lizzie spinning on her heel to face him once they’re through the doors of the café. 

“You didn’t, Calum. It’s fine. I’m here to do a job, and I appreciate your time today, I really do. Michael and I… I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, okay? I know it won’t be easy, but for now, I just want to focus on getting the best interview content I can from you all. That’s why I’m here.” Lizzie wrings her hands nervously, and she can feel how sweaty her palms are.

“Is that the only reason you’re here?” Calum’s tone isn’t teasing, or harsh. It’s genuine, curious, soft. He’s not moving as he stands in front of Lizzie and gazes down at her from his full height. 

Before Lizzie can answer, Calum’s phone starts to ring, and he casts her another glance before stepping away to answer it. While he’s chatting to whoever’s on the other end of the line, Lizzie decides to order herself an Uber and make her way back to the hotel so she can make a start on transcribing the interview with Calum. Because that was why she was here, Lizzie told herself in her head, stubbornly. Didn’t matter about the feelings in her stomach, and the tightness of her chest. She was there to write a profile about a band, nothing more, nothing less. 

“I’ve got to go and meet Ash at the studio, are you all good from here?” Calum’s question broke Lizzie out of her internal dialogue. 

“Yep, all good. Thanks again for your time, Cal. I really appreciate it. I think it’s going to be a great piece, and I’m intrigued to see what comes out of the other interviews. All of them.” Lizzie’s pointed tone isn’t lost on Calum, and he grimaces slightly at the fire he seems to have ignited. Ah well. Lizzie and Michael had to sort their shit out sooner or later, right?

Right? 

Calum was trying to convince himself as he strolled down the street towards his car, pondering if he’d made things better or worse between Michael, his best mate through almost his entire life, and Lizzie, the girl that he’d been sure Michael would love forever, but had walked away from in a shadow of hurt, betrayal, and disbelief. The girl that apparently had no idea Michael felt that way, or that if he did, it wasn’t justified. Someone’s side of the story just wasn’t adding up, but Calum wasn’t sure whose it was. Not anymore.

Taglist: If there’s a line through your name, I couldn’t tag you, so please message me to let me know your new URL or what the go is!  @suchalonelysunflower @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @loveroflrh @spicycal @notinthesameguey @metalandboybands @cheekysos @ashton-trash  @another-lonely-heart @queenalienscherrypie  @becihadshawn  @allthestarsandthemoon​ @wheniminouterspace​

[softforcal]

I just read both your poly!5sos and Cal pregnancy and my heart has melted 😭💕 and since I've been in an Ashton mood for the past week can you do one for him please?

ASHTON X PREGNANT READER (bonus proposal)

(Cal) (Luke) (Poly) (Michael)

-((((Also side note: i wasn’t going to post today but its @irwinkitten‘s birthday tomorrow (in a few hours her time) and i adore her so i wanted to kick off her birthday with something soft to show how much she means to me. Love you Laura. now fucking die hoe. )))

-this boy wants babies

-lots of em

-the two of you have been together for over a year and it’s definitely something you’ve talked about

-but he’s really busy with Youngblood and other stuff so it never really gets to be the right time

-you’re on tour with him and there’s about a month left and you’re having EXTREME baby fever because there are adorable children everywhere in the city you’re in

-like. an unusual amount of children

-or maybe you’re just noticing because it’s something thats on your mind

-regardless. your heart is soft as fuck.

-Ash is getting ready to go on stage and he notices you’re being kinda weird, “what’s up babe?” he asks

-”thinking about kids.” you sigh

-he stops what he’s doing and looks at you

-”oh yeah?”

-”yeah. i mean. your tour’s almost over and… i mean… if we wanted to start building a family… now might be a good time.” you shrug, “but no pressure, i mean you still have your career to think about-” he cuts you off with a kiss

-”we’ll talk about this when the show’s over, i promise.” he says, kissing your forehead before going to join the boys and go on stage

-you watch the show and surprisingly, getting pregnant isnt huge on your mind. it doesn’t really worry you. you know it’s something Ashton wants and now that you want it, you have no doubt that it will work out.

-the show ends and you wait in a back room for Ashton

-he comes off stage and is all sweaty and gorgeous and he just grabs you, “where are we going?” you ask as he pulls you towards a back dressing room, closing the door and locking it

-he kisses you, “you said you want a baby right?”

-”yeah?”

-”so stop asking questions and let daddy work.”

-’daddy’ has always used in the bedroom but OOF having baby fever while hearing it is wild

-Ashton always goes hard and this is no different

-you’ve never really done breeding kink before or really talked about pregnancy during sex and all of the sudden Ashton is like “you want me to fill you up Princess?” “going to pump a fucking baby into you.” and he’s going DEEP AF because like… better for making babies right?

-there’s probably not any real logic to that but whatever fam

-he hitting those spots is all i’m saying

-you both finish and he just stays inside of your for a bit, kissing you and being super soft

-but unlike other times with condoms, now there’s a bit of a mess (its the fucking worst) so he helps clean you up and is still super soft about it

-going back to the hotel you’re staying at for the night and he’s already down to go again

-once in the bedroom, then in the shower, then in the bedroom again, and then again in the shower and by the time you get to the bedroom again you’re like ‘please let me sleep’ and he just laughs and pulls you to his chest

-cuddling and talking about baby names

-talking about starting a family

-he’s been ready for a while but was waiting for you because it was obvious he was always down

-talking about whether you want a baby girl or boy first

-talking about how many kids you want

-just fully having an idea of the life you both want together

-you continue on tour and you have a general idea of when you’re period should come

-two weeks of really great sex all the time

-being in so many different cities and countries because you’re at the end of tour that days just start whipping by and then one day Ashton tosses you a pregnancy test because THIS GUY has a period app on his phone for you because he’s THAT FUCKING BOYFRIEND.

-”why do you have a period app for me?” “so i know when i have to go buy you chocolate. do you think i just magically have chocolate every time you get a craving?”

-what a sweetheart

-so you’re in a hotel for the night and you go pee on the stick and wait

-Ashton orders room service so that no matter what, you have comfort food to eat after the results

-”i’m afraid to look.” you groan. oddly enough he is too.

-so he calls Calum and is like “you need to get over here.” so Calum shows up and is like “what the fuck do you two animals want?” and Ashton is like “go look in the bathroom.”

-and Calum is hesitant as fuck, “if there’s a dead body in there? i hope you know Best Friend is just a song.” but he reluctantly goes inside, “did you pee on this?!” he calls back.

-”is she pregnant or not mate?!” Ashton yells.

-”yeah. she pregnant.” Calum states.

-Ashton immediately hugs you tight and after a few moments another pair of arms goes around you and Ashton and Calum is just like, “this makes me the godfather right?” “yes but don’t tell Michael. he’s going to be pissed.”

-”so… you can go now Cal.” “fuck, right, sorry.”

-once he’s gone you and Ashton just kiss and cuddle and are super fucking happy

-a few minutes later there’s knocking at your door. its Luke and Michael and they’re both like “i knew you two were fucking ever more often than normal!” “why didn’t you tell us you were trying to get pregnant!?”

-”a lots been going on mate.” Ashton shrugs. and it’s true. they’ve been really busy. besides, neither of you wanted to get your hopes up about it because for some couples it takes a long time to get pregnant

-so Luke and Michael hang out for a bit, Calum stops by to apologize for immediately throwing you two under the bus and telling Michael and Luke and then he goes, “you’ll forgive me, i’m the godfather.” and Michael freaks out

-Ashton ushering them all out of the room for alone time with you

-of course cuddling leads to sex

-he’s being a bit more gentle and you moan “daddy” and he just stops. pulls out and sits down with his head in his hands like “you can’t call me that anymore.” and he’s so distraught about it

-can you imagine. like. one of his main kinks. just out the door. because now it has to actually be used because he’s going to be a dad

-you rub at his shoulders and are just like… “sir?”

-yup that gets him going again with a laugh

-i mean, it’s nothing compared to ‘daddy’ but it will have to do

-the tour continues and it’s the second last show and as it ends, the boys are like “we have one last song for you.” and they start singing you and Ashton’s couple song and he straight up proposes to you on stage

-”i wanted to do this at the last concert but that’s Michael’s birthday so i didn’t think i could do him dirty like that,” Ashton teases as he gets down on a knee, “will you marry me?”

-of course you say yes

-its really sweet and cute and the fandom is shooketh

-they have their last concert and then everyone heads back to LA

-your first day back, Ashton is already planning the baby room because he’s so excited

-he’s just running around and he’s so cute getting worried about sharp corners and stuff like that and it’s just like “Ashton. we have time. i’m not even showing yet.”

-he’s just so excited to be getting married to you AND having a baby

-cuddles that calm him down but he gets excited and starts planning again

-having a small engagement party and announcing to close family and friends that you’re also pregnant

-so, everyone knows you’re engaged because of his very public proposal but Ashton decides to make a post for his insta to officially celebrate, he chooses a picture of you drinking a sparkling drink at your engagement party, ring showing

-he writes a long ass post about finding the love of his life and starting a new chapter and how excited he is, but he also states something along the lines of “and don’t worry, the drink is non alcoholic ;)”

-like the doesn’t explicitly state you’re pregnant but of course there would only be one fucking reason you can’t drink anymore

-the fandom is once more: shook

-now that you’re back in LA he has a lot of time to spend with you when he’s not working on the new album

-and he is an absolute spoiler

-like, as soon as you have any craving for food, he’s getting it for you

-because “you’re eating for two now Sweetheart.”

-going to your ultrasound and you decide to not know the gender of the baby (tbh, i do this every time because i wanna leave it up to the reader;)

-but the baby is strong and healthy and Ashton has tears in his eyes

-your bump begins to show and he adores it so much because “that’s my baby in there.” “our baby.” “nope, pretty sure i’m the only parent here.”

-what a teasing fuck

-he’s way softer with sex though, that would be for sure

-lots more cockwarming

-he straight up talks to the baby while he’s inside you and it’s like… “Ashton what the fuck.”

-”fuck, we can’t swear anymore. shit. i’m going to be such a bad fucking father.”

-assuring him that he’ll be a great dad

-he would totally hire someone to make the baby room perfect. i just see him as the guy that wants everything 10/10

-as it gets closer to your due date he religiously baby proofs the entire house

-he has the hospital on speed dial

-as its coming down to your due date this boy can’t sleep

-like. he is super stressed out and excited

-the boys being there for you two because this is a BIG deal

-he would adore cuddling next to your stomach and talking to the baby

-tapping gently on your stomach to show drum beats

-Ashton doesn’t even want you to leave the house without him incase somehow you get in trouble or need him and he’s not there

-can you imagine being a bit of a rebellious girlfriend and going for a walk while he’s still asleep and your water breaks so you call him and he’s like “Y/N, what the fuck, where are you?” and you’re just like “yeah… so i went for a walk and i’m fine, but like…. my water broke.” and he’s just like “fucking classic. of fucking course this would happen.”

-he comes and picks you up from wherever you are (probably like a block away from the house or some shit because classic) and he looks like shit cuz he’s exhausted and in a hoodie and sweats but he still managed to grab the hospital bag for the birth

-part of him wants to drive with both hands on the wheel to be safe

-but part of him wants to hold your hand so you can squeeze it while you have contractions

-but part of him wants his hand on your belly

-so probably a lot of him doing all three and you being like “hands on the wheel Ashton!” “we’re at a red light i can touch-” “Ashton it’s green now!”

-getting to the hospital and he doesn’t even get a wheel chair he just carries you because fuck that

-he’s super nervous and everyone can tell

-the boys show up and calm him down a bit

-”i cant believe this is fucking happening. oh my god. what if this is the last time i can swear? fuck. fuck. Y/N i fucking love you so fucking much holy shit.”

-”Ashton. calm down.”

-”what if im a terrible father.”

-”then i’ll divorce you and run away with Calum.”

-this earns a glare then a laugh and Calum’s just like “as the godfather, i can say that I one hundred percent would support that decision Y/N.”

-you all get Ashton to calm down and he holds your hand the entire time

-he would be such a great dad holy shit.

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

more questions/answers about me

1. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off? it depends, i like to lie in generally and surprisingly i like to go out for food.

2. What type of music are you into?

mostly everything, i love indie, rock and alt/pop punk the most.

- The Snuts

- 5SOS

- All Time Low

- The Police

- AC/DC

3. What was the best vacation you ever took and why?

Krakow in Poland, stayed there 6 days in October, missed school and explored such a beautiful city. had my own hotel room and the weather was amazing.

4. Where’s the next place on your travel bucket list and why?

EVERYWHERE, i want to be a flight attendant so seeing the world is my dream but the next place i will probably go is Amsterdam again or London cause theyre so close to me.

5, .What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?

Music, i play percussion and have done for 7 years, i learnt in school and was in many bands (geeky i know)

6. What was your favorite age growing up?

17, last year of high school, pre covid and i was planning my exchange year and was so excited

7. Was the last thing you read?

Animal Farm by George Orwell

8. Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert?

Both, love being around people and i am generally sociable but i get wiped out quickly. I otherwise need to have many days rest or none.

9. What's your favorite ice cream topping?

just a flake with raspberry sauce or oreo

10. What was the last TV show you binge-watched?

Sex Education

11. Are you into podcasts or do you only listen to music?

i listen to the 'i cant sleep' podcast and it really helps me to not overthink at night. Loved the jaackmaates happy hour on youtube until he stopped uploading the whole podcast to youtube

12. Do you have a favorite holiday? Why or why not?

i love the run up to christmas but find christmas day boring, i love going to the markets and buying gifts etc but my family also open our gifts on christmas eve at like 11pm so christmas day is just about the dinner

13. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

curry

14. Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home?

movies 100%

15. What’s your favorite sleeping position?

right hand side

16. What’s your go-to guilty pleasure?

true crime series

17. In the summer, would you rather go to the beach or go camping?

beach, been camping, done DofE so im fine to skip that lmao

18. What’s your favorite quote from a TV show/movie/book?

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”- Albus Dumbledore

(i dont even care that its basic)

19. How old were you when you had your first celebrity crush, and who was it?

probably like 8 and it was Liam from tracey beaker returns, true celeb crush was Liam Hemsworth in Hunger Games

20. What's one thing that can instantly make your day better?

Harry Potter

21. Do you have any pet peeves?

too many but slow walkers and talkers are no.1

22. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

Dinner, but i like it at like 5pm not super late

23. What song always gets you out on the dance floor?

i dunno lol (cotton eye joe)

24. When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not?

yessssss crust is the best bit

25. What activity instantly calms you?

mens cologne

26. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday?

seeing friends, going out for a late lunch and then getting drinks afterwards

27. What do you do on your commute to/from college?

listen to music

28. Do you have a favorite type of exercise?

swimming

29. What's your favorite season and why?

summer/autumn, depends on what country i am in. Texas i love autumn and spring and Scotland i love the summer

30. What's the best joke you've ever heard?

dont remember any

31. What's the phone app you use most?

Instagram, then tiktok

32. Would you rather cook or order in?

order in

33. Have your ever disliked something and then changed your mind?

yeah, i used to hate coffee and now i love it

34. What's your favorite board game?

i actually like monopoly or chess

35. How do you take your coffee?

black obvs look at this blog and with 2/3 sweeteners

36 What's your most prized possession and why?

my phone/laptop or my memory box with all my shit from years gone by

37. Is there any product that you couldn't live without?

phone/mac again

38. Do you sleep with a top sheet? Why or why not?

noooooo, get a good duvet and youre fine

39. If you could have any exotic animal as a pet, which would it be?

probably a lizard or a snake

40. What would be the first thing you'd do if you won the lottery?

buy a house or something

41. What’s your favorite thing about college?

I am foing a course i actually enjoy, travel and tourism, and its a small class so we actually get worth while lectures

42. What annoys you most?

myself

43. What in life are you most proud of?

moving to america on my own and everything that happened with that

44. Do you think you’ll stay in your current town awhile? Why or why not?

probably not, i have lived here all my life and it is a shithole, i want to move into Edinburgh and then otherwise London/Manchester and then a different country

45. What Hogwarts house are you in?

Slytherin

46. Are you more of a "work to live" or a "live to work" type of person?

both, i need to work to live but i want to love my job because i will be living with it

47. Do you believe in astrology?

Not really, i like the aesthetics and general base of it, i know my sun, moon and rising shit. Leo, Sagittarius and Gemini

48. How would your 10-year-old self react to what you do now?

probably be surprised but excited for what my future holds, I wanted to be an actress and now i am studying to become cabin crew

49. What do you remember most about primary school?

how much i hated it and the crap they put on little kids

50. How old were you when you got your first piercing?

12, just my lobes

51. What’s the worst class you've taken?

photography, the teacher was a bitch or accounting, i was goof at it but it sucked

52. What originally got you interested in your current field of work?

moving to america and generally just loving geography and wanting to see the world

53. Have you ever had a side hustle or considered having one?

not got one but wouldnt mind one if needed

54. What’s your favorite day of the week?

probably mondays or tuesdays, i dont have college and i see my bf

55. What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made?

not listening to anyone else's opinions on what i should do as a career

56. What’s the best food you've ate?

Hard to say, i love indian food so anything from Dishoom

57. Do you consider yourself good with kids?

Meh, i am fine if its just me with them but i get awkward when other people are watching me

58. What advice would you give to your younger self?

you will be okay, dont live up to peoples expectations only live up to what you want

59. Do you believe in having a "five-year plan"?

kinda, only a general one that can be altered and shit

60. How open are you to people?

depends, mostly i am pretty open, ive just stopped caring

61. When will you know you've "made it"?

when i am happy and can sustain my life

62. Are you looking forward to retiring, or do you plan to work as long as possible?

looking forward to it as long as i can afford to

63. Have you ever had "imposter syndrome"?

everyday

64. What do you think about workaholics?

my mum is one a little but i think its fine as long as you actually love your job and it isnt impacting on your family

65. What qualities do you look for in a partner?

honest, caring, independent , spontaneous

66. Do you have a driver licence?

not yet...

67. Do you have a partner?

yes a boyfriend

68. Are you a dog or cat person?

Dogs all the way

69. How do you motivate yourself in your career?

remember its worth t because i am living my dream

70. What's the best career advice you've ever heard?

do what makes you truly happy not what you think will make everyone else happy

71. What's the worst career advice you've ever received?

do what brings in enough money

72. When you started high school, what most surprised you?

how easy it is to actually find your classes

73. How do you pick yourself back up after a downer?

Eat, sleep and netflix

74. How do you deal with stress?

have a bath and sleep

75. What energizes you about your career?

its going to give me my bucket lists dream

76. What's one work-related thing you want to accomplish in the next year?

finish galileo and get the certificate for it

77. Who has had the biggest impact on your career choice?

people on tiktok showing me it is possible

78. What does your family think of your career?

they love that i will be happy but my mum is scared cause planes are dangerous

79. What's the best thing you've learned in your life?

you need to do what is right for yourself and changing your beliefs is not worth anything

80. If you could do it all over again, would you go back to high school? Why or why not?

yes, only for the freedom and simplicity it gives. I was smart, did band and had a bf so i was pretty good.

81. How much time do you spend with your family?

a lot, i live at home still and i am very close with my aunt

82. Who do you most like spending time with and why?

my boyfriend, i can relax around him and be myself

83. Were you close with your family growing up?

yes

84. How do you define your family now?

small and female dominated

85. What traits are most important to you in your family members?

honesty and supportiveness

86. Who are you the closest to and why?

my aunt, she knows most shit about me

87. Do you want a family of your own?

yes, i want to probably adopt 2 kids, definitely atleast 1 boy

88. What’s your favorite family tradition?

opening our gifts on christmas eve

89. If you could change your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, with whom?

my dad

90. What was it like growing up as the youngest/oldest/middle/only child?

only child here. boring and lonesome. I live in the countryside too so no kids were around.

91. Does your family ever take trips together?

not really, my mum doesnt have a 9-5 job and we have pets so trips arent common

92. What’s your favorite family memory?

disney? idk really know

93. What TV family most reminds you of your own?

Hannah Bakers (without the dad even being there 💀)

94. Do you ever wish you were raised differently?

in some ways, i wished i lived in the city/town or had siblings but idk thats hard ti say when you only know what life is like the way it is now

95. What’s the best piece of advice a family member has given you?

do what makes you happy (basic)

96. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why?

yesssss, only child here. I live in the countryside with no kids around so i was a fucking loner growing up and i'll have like no nieces or nephews

97. Did you ever hide anything from or lie to your parents?

everything, my ed, mental health issues, sh, addictions, smoking

98. If you had a family business, what would it be?

food bloggers or a cafe owner probs if we can class bfs as family if not then a dog rescue

99. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other?

not really, my aunt is called Ang instead of Angela thats it

100. What's your favorite way to spend time with your family?

eating at restaurants

101. How do you show your family you love them?

by saying it

102. Have you ever been to a family reunion?

do funerals count?

103. What's the most important holiday you spend with your family and why?

Christmas, we have a small family so its a group of us and we open our gifts on Christmas Eve and play games and quizzes then have a casual dinner on the day

104. Who in your family would you describe as a "character"?

my uncle from my mums side, he will get into random arguments for no reason with people

105. How do you feel about family events?

love/hate them, nice to know what people are doing but hate having to get ready

106. What's something your family would be surprised to learn about you?

my mental health status 🙃

107. Which family member do you confide in most?

my aunt

108. How do you deal with arguments between family members?

i dont i just ignore it and dont talk

109. If you have children, how do you want to raise them?

with respect, treating them as actual people who are equal

110. What's more important: family or friends?

friends who are as close/closer than family

111. Do you have any friends you would consider family?

yes, my bf and my childhood best friend

112. Has your family ever pressured you to act a certain way?

yeah, my dads side is super posh and upper class so you just act more like that around them

113. Did you ever get to meet your great-grandparents?

no

114. What personality traits do you share with your relatives?

with my mum a lot, my stubbornness, anger, general disposition and my dad, the lying probably

115. What physical traits do you share with your relatives?

i have my mums body type, my dads chin and my nanas (mums mum) hands and hair

116. What stories did your family members tell you growing up?

??? i was read the secret 7 and famous 5 if thats what you mean, if not idk

117. How did your parents (and/or grandparents) meet?

parents met whilst working, my dad was a photographer and was taking photos of dogs for my mums work and she is the general manager

118. What makes you proud of your family?

its mainly female lead/dominated

119. Who's the newest member of your family?

for me, like knowing them, my grandads partner but by age my cousin on my dads side

120. What can always bring your family together?

death, birthdays or christmas

121. What’s a relationship deal breaker for you?

lazy or projects their mental health issues onto me

122. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

sight

123. What is your definition of success?

happiness and comfortability

124. What makes you feel at peace?

being alone

125. What are you most proud of in the last year?

moving to america and also not committing sewer slide when i came home early

126. What makes you feel most accomplished?

band

127. Who do you admire most in the world?

no one

128. Would you rather make more money doing a job you hate or less doing one you love?

less but one i love

129. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?

my independence

130. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend?

comfortability

131. How has your perspective on the world changed over time?

the world is stupid, like everything in it is pointless and we are all going to die so why are we trying to please everyone but ourselves? I couldn't care less about my future now as long as i am happy

132. Do you live by any piece of advice or motto?

not really, maybe 'it is what it is'

133. How can someone earn your trust?

i dunno anymore

134. How can someone lose your trust?

telling a secret or telling someone information that could hurt me

135. Would you rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?

depends on the situation

136. If you could snap your fingers and instantly make the world better, what would you do?

the basics, cure all illness, remove racism, sexism, phobia stuff like??? what do you expect me to say

137. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not? like the aesthetics but im not stubborn cause my moon is a sag or vain cause im a leo

138. Have you ever lost a friend? If so, what happened? no

139. If you could only teach one thing to your (future) child, what would it be?

being happy with yourself is the only important thing

140. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done, and why did you do it?

moving to Texas to live with strangers for a year. I did it cause i hate living in Scotland and loved america and it was the easiest way to do it for a long time. also going to an american high school

141. Do you believe in second chances?

yes

142. Where do you get your news?

social media and google

143. What is your biggest irrational fear?

wasps

144. Are you active on social media, or do you prefer to be more private?

active on insta and thats it tbh

145. Do you volunteer at all?

yeah at a dog rescue

144. Are you an organ donor, and how did you come to that decision?

i am and because when im dead they're not going to do much for me so why not

145. Do you believe you should do one thing a day that scares you?

not everyday, maybe every year/month but it be a bigger thing

146. What, if anything, do you think happens after death?

nothing

147. What line should someone never cross with you?

saying ive been lucky in life, like i have been financially but not with my mental health and stuff

148. How do you define beauty?

acceptance and self expression

149. Do you believe in life on other planets?

probably but not like green things with three fingers and one eye

150. How do you interact with someone who disagrees with you?

depends what the disagreement is about.

151. If you could do anything, besides what you're doing now, what would you do?

study set design or music/sound production for theatre

152. What do you regret not doing in the last year?

putting myself first

153. What’s on your bucket list?

road trip over the whole of america

154. If you had unlimited money to start your own business, what would it be?

small cafe probably

155. If you found out today was your last day on Earth, what would you do?

go to new york city

156. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Seattle, London or New York

157. A genie gives you three wishes—what are they?

to have unlimited money, to be truly happy and to be beautiful

158. If you had the opportunity to be immortal, would you take it?

no

158. Which famous person in history would you want to spend the day with?

Princess Diana or JFK

157. If you could time travel, when and where would you go?

1970s america, (vibes tbh)

158. Do you think you'll likely accomplish all your dreams?

yes

159. If you could magically become famous, would you want to?

yeah probably

160. If you could relive one moment in your life, which would it be?

stepping off the plane in Texarkana for the first time

161. If you see a puddle on the ground, do you walk around it or over it?

over

162. If you could have a super power, what would it be?

teleportation

163. If you could go back to anytime in history, where would you go?

70s

164. If you came back in your next life as an animal, what animal would you be?

an eagle

165. If you got to name a new country, how would you decide what to call it?

probably something latin or greek

166. What would be the title of your memoir?

dreamer

167. Do you hit the snooze button or wake up immediately?

hit it every time

168. What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

go on my phone

169. What’s the last thing you do at night?

go on my phone

170. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories (no judgement)?

yeah some make sense

171. Do you think iced coffee should only be consumed in the summer or all year round?

i dont like it

172. Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?

fur, im always cold

173. What’s your idea of a perfect date (yes, of the calendar year)?

June 28th

174. What’s the most unusual place you’ve fallen asleep?

dog bed outside

175. At a party, where can someone find you?

the kitchen

176. Do you wash your legs in the shower?

yes

177. Who would play you in the movie of your life?

probably Katherine Langford she kinda looks like me

178. When making a PB&J sandwich, do you put on the peanut butter or jelly first?

not american and hate pb

179. Do you have any allergies?

penicillin

180. Do you trust your own memory? Why or why not?

depends on the info

181. Which fictional character do you relate to most?

Hannah Baker LOOOOLLLLLL

182. What, if anything, would make you walk out in the middle of a movie?

just cringey and bad

183. When was the last time you cried and why?

yesterday, my childhood dog is getting old and is dying basically

184. What's your most controversial opinion about something mundane?

we should pay for non prescription /one time use pills in Scotland

185. Do you "stan" any celebrities?

dont stan but love Timothée Chalamet and Chris Evans

186. What's your go-to midnight snack?

chicken noodle ramen/soup

187. What was your all-time favorite Halloween costume?

i always go as a devil, this year i am going as kittle red riding hood and i wanna go as a playboy bunny one day or do a space cowgirl themed one

188. What's the weirdest thing you do when you're alone?

sh?????????

189. Do you have any recurring dreams?

nope

190. What's the silliest argument you've ever been in?

probably shit with my mum everyday

191. What's the worst argument you've ever been in?

probably with my ex about me leaving Texas

192. What's your opinion on modern art?

it can be kinda cool

193. If you could choose how to die, would you? If so, what would you choose?

in my sleep, old age

194. What's the most ridiculous outfit you've ever worn?

probably something for school

195. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up?

actress

196. If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would you pick?

phoenix

197. What's your least favorite place in the world?

where i live

198. Would you rather have your dishes or clothes be magically clean?

clothes

199. What's your favorite story about yourself?

i moved to Texas alone at 18

200. If you could change anything about yourself, would you? If so, what and why?

my weight, i hate how i look and feel