#the 3x13 sparks joy post is done

[lovecolibri]

Things that did NOT Spark Joy-3x12

Y’all, I don’t even know where to start. It’s been weeks. I’m still just so frustrated. And I know several of you (bless for keeping me motivated) have been waiting for and asking about this post so I’m sorry in advance if it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for but...here we are. I’m probably going to stick with shorter points because this is....a lot, but feel free to send me asks with any of these points just to yell in frustration or if you want me to expound my thoughts on them. (Also, I CANNOT recommend this post enough as it puts to words exactly what a lot of us were feeling.) As always, the good stuff is here. 

WARNING this is going to be very salty, and very negative. I imagine the RNM writers will be the ones lowering my coffin at my funeral so they can let me down one last time. Also, feel free to laugh with me (to keep from crying) and enjoy some salty  memes  and   posts I made. Okay. Now entering the saltiest of salt mines. Buckle up!

Well we are gonna start off strong with what in the actual fuck do the writers mean by telling us that m*ria can get a vision (not the SAME funeral vision, because that would imply that it was actually ever important and, as it turns out, IT WASN’T) from a mother fucking SPIDER when at the start of the season she needed risk Max’s life and throw herself off a BUILDING ROOFTOP and risk Kyle’s license and career to be injected with adrenaline in order to have a vision?! Like????? At least addressing the rooftop/Max incident could have provided some drama and segued into m*ria having to face the consequences of her actions like everyone else was addressing all season, but since they couldn’t even be bothered to do that much and show us Liz and Isobel’s reaction to that dumb fucking stunt, then WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT?! If she can be mildly startled by local wildlife, then what was with the threating self-harm until people caved to her whims bullshit?! If it wasn’t used to explore her mental state, her supposedly deteriorating brain, and talking about the way she treats people and maybe scratching the surface of her actions from season 2, then why do it at all?! I’m going to talk about the pointless ass vision plot (my behated) from the first part of the season later but for now, on top of the dumbass way the vision was triggered in this episode, it didn’t even do anything helpful. She sees three coffins which??? Could be for the three people hanging out the window at the end of the episode? Could be Dallas (as he nearly died), Michael (as he nearly died), and Max or Eduardo who was later stabbed? Or maybe Jones himself? Who knows?! Not fucking us, that’s for damn sure because it’s never brought back around to a cohesive end, just like the original vision plot. And m*ria doesn’t call anyone, or tell anyone but Kyle, and she never gets to be with the group to discuss this happening so they can put a definitive lid on it. So again, what was the point?! Why did we need to see this happening when no one ended up dying and they were in no way saved strictly because m*ria had this vision and told everyone all about it, and prevented it from happening. The ONLY reason this happened and took up screen time this episode was because they are still having to invent shit for m*ria to do because she has no narrative place in the show. And as always, they failed. They took screen time away from other important things to cater to her, and yet she could still be removed from this episode and nothing would change except for who got to talk to Kyle about his crush on Isobel, and who got to rescue Michael (ALEX. IT SHOULD HAVE FUCKING BEEN ALEX). 

I was going to go in chronological order through the episode but fuck it, I’m already here and already ranting about it anyway, so let’s just get ALL the m*ria bullshit out of the way at once. 

Why was she talking to Kyle about his crush on Isobel and not Alex?! And not only that, why is she RUDE about it? She calls it a “waste of her talents” or whatever?! So a friend needing emotional support is a waste? Yeah, no, you know what? For her? That absolutely tracks. Because for the past two seasons she’s been shown to not give a flying fuck about anything that isn’t of benefit to her. That could have been a great Kylex brotp bonding moment that was again wasted trying to give her something to do that she has no business doing. 

And speaking of that! WHYYYYYY was she the one to rescue Michael?! Why did she need to be in this episode at all when Kyle and Alex, who by all rights, being Michael’s soulmate, should be the one getting more if not all 13 episodes, had to miss 3 episodes, and specifically missed ones where they were actually needed and would have been useful and it made no narrative sense for them to be missing?! WHY give her an extra episode and yet not have her actually do anything useful?! Michael was in his own fucking bunker and he was with Jones and the sword, both of which Rosa has been training to track down, AND which Alex has been working on finding the frequency for as well, just in case oh, I don’t know, Sanders decided to just...NOT call Alex about Jones showing up and and locking himself and Michael down in the bunker. This would have been the perfect opportunity to have Rosa and Alex joining forces and working together (instead of her standing in the background like she did 99% of 3x13), and a reason to get Sanders and Alex in a scene together. Instead we had to watch her in her puppy-killer jacket go find Michael (WHILE WALKING OVER SANDERS’S PRONE BODY APPARENTLY, NOT THAT WE DESERVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM 😤😤😤), and apparently despite knowing he was in danger she managed to show up without even a basic first aid kit, something her bar would surely be required to have, and then ??? what? She disappears from the rest of the episode. Did she go back to her (perpetually empty) business to work? Did she drive Michael up into the mountains to Deep Sky and then wait in the car? Who knows? Again, not us, because despite shoving her in our faces all goddamn season and forcing her into places she has no narrative reason for being, the show STILL undercuts all of that by reinforcing the idea that she isn’t actually important to the story because she can disappear without affecting anything at all. 

“I’m going to try to keep it to shorter bullet points” I am such a clown, even to myself. Now that the m*ria of it all is out of the way, lets go back and move chronologically shall we?

I’m confused why Kyle says he can’t get ahold of anyone because Rosa and Alex aren’t involved in the rescue attempt or did he just mean he couldn’t get in touch with the rescue crew? Also, maybe if they’d let him and Alex be involved, they would have had a check-in system of what to do if they don’t hear back in a certain amount of time. This is why you invite the military strategist and the single holder of The Common Sense Braincell to your rescue mission planning sessions. Also also, for the number of times they used “find my friends” this season to track people down, they sure seem to forget it exists when people are in mortal danger, huh? 

Giving everyone a mental health day rather than acknowledge aliens exist would be funny if this wasn’t an org dedicated to RESEARCHING ALIEN LIFE. The FUCK do you mean that DEEP SKY, the organization that recruited Alex specifically due to his alien ties, to work on a machine that they stole from an alien prison with an undercover agent they had working there with aliens, DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT FUCKING ALIENS?! Like????? What is even the POINT of Deep Sky then?! Y’all I can’t. I just...I can’t with this. I had such high hopes for Deep Sky and this one moment just...ruined all of them. 

Why is a man that barely knows any of them telling Alex that the love of his life was kidnapped by his murderous father and not, oh I don’t know, one of Michael’s siblings?! I guess it’s nice that it was someone who acknowledged Malex and their importance to each other which most of the core cast just can’t be bothered with, but still! That’s like, the duty of the next of kin! And giving us that scene with Max and Alex? Getting to watch Alex look up, excited that Michael is back safe, only to see Max giving him that wide-eyed sorrowful look? Watching Alex’s own face drop as he shuts down all his emotions and roughly asks “What do you need me to do?”, THAT would have been a great scene and one Nathan Dean and Tyler would have killed, I’m sure. I think Alex going feral would look vastly different from Michael going feral, far more cold and controlled, but we deserved to see that important moment when Alex was told Michael was missing, just like we deserved to see his reaction to Michael being stabbed and missing these big, extremely easy to hit emotional beats feels intentional at this point. Like, you have to WORK to miss showing something important like this.

Soooo, as great as that scene was with Jones and Michael, what was the point of Jones brining up multiple times this season about being Michael’s dad and his relationship with Nora if they weren’t going to actually tell us what happened?! Were they in love until he sought more power and she discovered his true nature? Was he seduced by her as part of her master plan? Was she a captive of war and it was involuntary? Did the Oasis have arranged marriages/partnerships and that’s what happened? Why keep bringing it up if they were just going to kill off Jones and not ever tell us?!

If I never hear the words “The Science” again, it will be too soon. One of the biggest mistakes this season that just got worse in these last few episodes, was trying to explain science that does not exist. We’ve seen that tans that have Actual Science Knowledge, had issues with it being totally off base, but more than that, people who don’t have that knowledge base and won’t notice if it’s wrong still don’t really care how it works because it’s not real science. I’m not saying they had to handwave everything, but cutting down on the explanations and let the experiments run in the background, sticking to a “yay it worked!” or a “damn it didn’t”/”it worked but with consequences”, they would have had more time over the season to have actual conversations instead of it all being mumbo-jumbo.

In my sparks joy post I said that I liked the Alex/Max scene in a bubble where we don’t think about Michael being missing at this time because I think it’s weird that in that moment it was still all about Max and not about, you know, Michael and Alex. But also, as cute as Alex carrying around one of Michael’s handanas “just in case” and because Michael is leaving them all over, why bring it up as a solution to open the machine only to immediately be like “nope! it did nothing, moving on!” Like, they could have waited and had that moment with Alex bringing it out when they ACTUALLY decide to use it.

I already talked about being super fucking salty about Sanders collapsing on screen and never being brought up again, but on top of that, I’m PISSED that we got the lead up with Jones seeing Alex and making a point that it was someone close and important to Michael AND that Alex had something he wanted only to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT. We not only didn’t see Jones and Alex interact at all outside of that brief moment in 3x08, but we also didn’t get to see Alex interact when Michael asked to take the machine from him to give it to Jones and tell Alex Jones was coming for him. Like??? HOW do you not completely miss but actually set up the most logical of emotional beats (evil father going after kid’s love for leverage), and THEN totally side-step it?! Why bring it up and spend the screen time on it if you’re not going to actually DO anything with it?!

On that note, Jones literally was in the same building as Alex, he can see into people’s minds so he could probably track him down, and yet the people that we’re supposed to care desperately about saving from Jones include Heath and Eduardo?! Like, yes I like both of them, but if Jones is trying to convince Liz to give up their only leverage to save people, why not have Alex up there with Kyle? If they already had m*ria bringing Michael to Deep Sky, why not put her in that scene and have all of Liz’s friends, and people who were also important to Michael and Isobel in mortal danger?! Like, whyyyyy use guest stars for a mortal danger scene if none of them were actually going to die? 

Overall, this episode again suffered from Too Much Happening, so we missed important things and cramming everything into one day as well is too much. This arc of Michael being kidnapped, figuring out how to stop Jones, Michael being injured and all of 3x13 really should have been spread out over at least 3 maybe 4 episodes. That vision plot really fucked over the rest of the season which I’m thinking about doing it’s own post about because we really needed those 5-ish episodes wasted on that plot to build up to where this second half of the season picked up, and to spread out these last few episodes and give the plots some time to breathe.

Also, everyone who wants to justify the screen time or m*ria being in the middle of shit this episode she didn’t need to be involved in with the “oh Covid restrictions!” or “But Tyler might have *whatever excuse*” I’d like to remind you that this is the job of the writers and the showrunner. They have to work around pregnancies, illnesses, injuries, actor contracts on how much time they’re willing to spend on set, etc, and it’s their job to work around that and make things make sense. Not to make everything about 911, but JLH had a baby shortly after her character had a baby and they worked her storyline around her maternity leave, but also, her absence is FELT. When she’s not in an episode, or when another character is missing from the team for whatever reason, there is a hole where they are supposed to be. People talk about them, you notice their absence and how things feel different when they aren’t there and how it affects everyone, and there is a reason given for WHY they aren’t there. IF (and that’s a big IF) there was something going on with Tyler, his health, or his person preference for his contract, it’s up to the writers to make it make sense within the story and they just...didn’t do that. And it’s not just Tyler, because the same thing happened when Kyle was in a coma and everyone forgetting he existed and him waking up off screen and not having a meaningful scene with his best friend Alex OR his sister, or even his ex who as the show lead and a close friend would still make sense, about that experience. So I’m far less inclined to believe it was a Tyler thing, but more than that, I don’t care. I don’t care if something was going on behind the scenes. They get PAID for this stuff. It’s literally their job to make things work.

[lovecolibri]

Things that Spark Joy-3x12

I’m going to do this a little differently this week since I am SOOOO far behind and haven’t even watched 3x13 yet so I’m hella bored staying off my dash. I’m not sure if I will combine my “did not spark joy” posts to save myself some pain, or if it will be too long and messy and I’ll split those as well, but for now, there was...not a lot that sparked joy in this episode so I’m getting it done now to clear my plate a little and I’ll edit this with the salt post link once it’s done! I normally prefer to wait and read other people’s takes on the episode just because my brain can be the epitome of the “I was so caught up in the euphoria of X that for a moment, I lived in a world where Z didn’t exist” meme and I don’t always catch things that other people do, but it is what it is at this point. 🤷‍♀️

Now, there WAS some good stuff this episode! It was a little harder to see through all the disappointment, dropped emotional beats, continued pointless storylines, and absolutely WILD (derogatory) choices made this episode, but it was there so let’s talk about it! Mostly through blinders looking at very specific moments and refusing to acknowledge anything else at the moment. 

Jeanine continues to shine as Liz. That “You don’t control who I am or what I do. I control that. And I said no.” moment was so good! And hearing her tell Heath about her mom was such a good reminder of her trauma and why she is the way she is.

The Kybel of it all was a saving grace this episode. Isobel and Kyle are so soft and supportive with each other and the way they feel safe enough to open up about their fears and how every time (even back to season 1!) the other has been there with support and encouragement is lovely to see. Also, given that our two other soulmate couples have been circling each other and being kept apart and those tragic love stories kind of mirroring each other, I think it will be really interesting and refreshing to have a different story with Kybel where they already did the personal trauma/growth thing separately and are now coming together as adults and discovering this mysterious alien connection for the first time. Also, Lily and Trevino just play off each other SO WELL and all their scenes are so good and a joy to watch. Also, not to bring other fandom stuff into this, but I keep thinking about Six of Crows and Inej’s dad saying that one day a boy would learn her favorite flower and only the boy who takes the care to learn her favorite things should earn her heart, and thinking about Kyle already knowing Isobel’s favorite flower like it’s a totally normal thing.

DALLAS. MY BELOVED. Y’all I love him SO MUCH it’s unreal. I want him around forever and ever. He single-handedly made Heath’s character interesting and sympathetic and their interaction in the mindescape was wonderful. Also, Isobel calling him her “new brother” just broke my heart but also filled me with so much warmth. Isobel has had to hold things so close to the vest for so long and now she is able to set all this love she has free and she doesn’t even know what to do with all of it! But she absolutely brought Dallas into her heart as family and I’m so excited to see that dynamic moving forward. And the thought of someone like Dallas who had a similar childhood to Michael coming into this group and finding a whole family and support system is wonderful! I have a really big ONE FEAR about his character because I trust these writers zero amounts, but I’m trying not to borrow trouble before I need to so I’m focusing on the good stuff. Like, “You are never gonna break me...He gave me memories of all the times he had the courage to stand up to you.” Love this journey for Dallas and I can’t wait to see him and Michael bond over their parents that they put on pedestals that were also killed in Caulfield. 

Heath is such an awkward little turtle and I like him SO MUCH MORE now that we know something about him, what he’s fighting for, and they aren’t really pushing the “love triangle” thing anymore, just mentioning it in passing and as something in the past. I said before we always should have known he was working with someone else and maybe got the hints he was evil and only with Liz to steal her science and then have the reveal that YES, he was trying to steal her science, but not for evil, but to save his best friend. It would have made him more interesting all along and made those early scenes feel like there was a point to them. But regardless, I like him now and his awkward jokes and bad timing, and I enjoyed the pep talk he had with Liz about her being a hero to everyone there. Can he stick around and join the Science Bros? I feel like him and Kyle might get along and Michael would personally find it hilarious that both of them had a thing for Liz and would tease all three of them relentlessly.

I’m not sure why everyone was so worried about Max being kicked out of the triad? It’s clearly on purpose to show he’s different but also to hammer home “the family you choose” idea and that maybe their planet relying totally on triads isn’t great (Jones killed his, remember) so maybe building a group dynamic together is what ultimately keeps them safe and helps them in the future to defeat the next evil. Plus it led to Max asking some hard questions and talking with Liz about what she sees in him and I think it was important for him to feel like he was losing his place. 🤷‍♀️ I didn’t totally hate that storyline and regardless of my other feelings about the scene or how it fit in the episode, I did enjoy the talk with Alex (in it’s bubble and not thinking about anything else going on), and the talk with Heath. And I like that they brought back the season 1 lie of “I’m just a guy from Roswell” this season and made it a possibility for him. I do like a good callback! 🤷‍♀️

If nothing else, we got some good Echo moments and them talking and another almost/interrupted kiss which was nice to see after a pretty rough season for Echo fans or anyone wanting to actually see some soulmates/fated love stuff playing out.

We got ONE answer to a burning question I had which is always more than I expect so I was happy to hear them bring up the sheriff and that Jones had only healed the external damage to trick Liz but didn’t fully heal her, because I was VERY confused on what was wrong with her at the end of last episode. Also, not to bring the salt post into this, but this is also a great example of how you talk about and bring characters into the the narrative who aren’t in the episode. Just saying....

Mr. Jones is such a good villain used mostly well this season, a vast improvement over whatever the hell was going on with the season 2 Jesse Manes/Helena Ortecho mess. The way he was able to pinpoint the fears of everyone and prey on them definitely makes him more terrifying, especially as he does it with a smile. 10/10 on usage for Nathan Dean this season.

Speaking of Jones, the continued misnaming for him is always a delight and “off the rack Max” is my new favorite. Especially because it’s Michael and he’s saying to his dad’s face because it’s a brat. I love that for him. 

And speaking of that, all of the Jones and Michael scenes were *chef’s kiss* wonderful! Vlamis and Nathan Dean really brought it with their moments and we got to see the sassy comebacks (”don’t touch my stuff” Michael is such a child and I love him), but undercut with something darker in both of them. The opening mindscape scene where we see he doesn’t have control over Michael like he does everyone else, and then the bunker scene and the way they both tried to play at being loose and at ease why trying to throw the other off enough to slip into their minds was so much fun to watch! They played off each other SO WELL and that little thrill when Michael pulled one over on him and got into his head was perfection. I love that we’ve seen Isobel taking on Jones and it was finally Michael’s turn to take on his dad. (Though, tiny salt detour, I think if Michael lost a fight with Jones that badly? Isobel for sure should have lost all of hers a lot worse.) Steadfastly ignoring the culmination of that stabbing arc, the moment it happened I for sure gasped in dramatic fashion. The explosion and fire and stabbing and then Jones learning about Alex? So cool! I just....wish this had been a plot point a lot earlier this season, or if they really wanted to focus on the vision/racist town arc that Jones stayed morally grey and then tipped his evil hand at the beginning of season 4. Max dying from heart failure only to go immediately to dying of something else is...a lot and could have been stretched out, OR just brought evil Jones around earlier because I have a feeling we are not getting any satisfaction out of the narrative set up for this scene, and we maybe could have if this had happened earlier.

Walt Sanders, BAMF of the episode, my beloved. Someone please tell me he’s okay!! I need to see him being okay. I would kill for a hospital scene where he wakes up and Michael is asleep in a chair next to the bed, head on Alex’s shoulder. Give it to me.

ALEX IN A SOFT SWEATER. That’s it. That’s the post. As....furious as this episode made me, I can’t pretend, ignoring all else, that seeing Alex in a soft sweater didn’t spark joy. Plus the fact that Michael has multiple bandanas (handdanas) and that he is already this soon in the relationship leaving them “all over” Alex’s house is adorable and the fact that Alex just has one on him? Like a “just in case” if Michael needs one?! TOO CUTE and straight out of fanfic I swear. 10/10 adorable domestic boyfriends.

Well, I tried to be fair and not let the rest of the...choices, this episode ruin the good moments (mostly) so I hope this is a tiny spot of light in the otherwise grim outlook.

[lovecolibri]

Okay! I’m waiting to post until they’re all done, but the 3x13 Sparks Joy post is finished so I’m going on a Sunday afternoon hike so I can work up the energy to do the Not Spark Joy posts! I’m getting there! I have about 700 drafts of thoughts plus my episode notes to get through, but hopefully soooon!