#the 1600-word part is not an exaggeration… I wrote this on word and it was literally more than 1600 words

[suckmycoxon]

Hi :) could you give me a little background on omd? I don't know anything of the band except for a few songs, so maybe you could say your knowledge of the band and the members?

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THRILLED I AM TO DO THIS

Let’s get to the band members first!

Andy McCluskey

Here’s the bossy one. As he puts it, he’s the butcherwho cuts off the raw materials of the song; the director who basically tellsPaul what to do, the one who sees the big picture, while Paul is the surgeonwho splices the details. He sings, plays bass, and writes the lyrics for mostof their songs. And he always dances madly, even in the recent years! For a58-year old guy with bad knees, he’s VERY energetic. So as you can see, he’sthe dominant one. Powerful, loud, cheerful, salty as fuck, thoroughly hatesrock ‘n’ roll, claims he hates cliché love songs but writes them anyway. I lovehim nonetheless

Paul Humphreys

THIS IS MY FAVORITE GUY OFF OMD. MY LOVE. MY HANDSOMEHAMSTER. HE’S CUTE ISN’T HE? Alright, so… he’s the keyboardist, the creativeand technical one. He’s the one who usually comes up with a melody and thenAndy directs how the song should turn out. He’s the one who does most of thesynth sounds! In the old days, he used to build his own “noise machine” bymessing with the circuits and such of old, broken radios. Don’t tell me that’snot badass. He also sings in a couple of OMD’s songs, most notably in“Electricity”, “Souvenir”, “(Forever) Live and Die”, and “Secret”.Personality-wise, he’s the complete opposite of Andy. He’s more quiet, shy,soft, and just lovely overall 

Other members are MalcolmHolmes (the long-haired one in the picture above) who was the drummer from the beginning of the band until 2013. Inthat year, he had a cardiac arrest and temporarily died so he had to retire.From 2013 onwards, Stuart Kershaw tookthe drummer position. Another member is MartinCooper (the one with the blue shirt), the saxophonist/keyboardist/occasional bassist. He’s still with theband until now! Except when OMD broke up because he and Mal went along withPaul instead of Andy, but I’ll get to that later…

They embrace the “punk” attitude in terms of music. Youknow, making music as simple as possible. They always say this joke of “We’rethe punks of electronic. Punk plays with one chord, we play with one finger!”

Now, it’s history time. Let’s go back to the 70s

Andy and Paul had always been the hipsters of that era. Theylistened to electronic bands like Kraftwerk, Neu, La Dusseldorf (Kraftwerk,mostly) while their peers listened to prog rock. Andy was in a band and Paulwas the roadie. Despite always being in the same school, that was when theynoticed how they shared the similar interest towards Kraftwerk, so Andy quitthe band and formed his own with Paul that we now know as the pretentiouslynamed Orchestral Manoeuves in the Dark

They started off as a supporting band fo Joy Division inEric’s Club in Liverpool. They didn’t expect to have a longlasting career… theyreally thought it would be their first and last gig. They just wanted to provethemselves and their mates that they dared to go on stage doing somethingdifferent; doing weird electronic music, hence the odd band name. With such apretentious name, they wanted to show the audience how they were doingsomething different

And then they were offered a second gig in Manchester.That’s where they met Tony Wilson, and he signed them up to Factory Records.Then “Electricity” was recorded, and Tony sent it to various major labels, oneof which was Virgin Records, so they moved to Virgin. It was in 1979/1980 Ithink? And with their 1980 album, Organisation (their second one. Their firstone, the self-titled one, was released in the same year) – which they claim asbeing influenced by Joy Division, so this album is basically the child of JoyDivision and Kraftwerk – which included “Enola Gay”, they became well known.They got even bigger with the Architecture and Morality album, which has“Souvenir”, “Joan of Arc”, “Maid of Orleans”…

They commercially dropped dead with Dazzle Ships (1983). Itwas an experimental album, which I personally think sounds great, but probablynot acceptable enough at that time. Despite having quite successful hits like“Telegraph” and “Genetic Engineering”, that album almost single-handedly killedtheir career. So they took a safer path in their next album, Junk Culture(1984), embracing a more pop-ish sound. It can be heard on their catchy hitsfrom Junk Culture, like “Locomotion” and “Talking Loud and Clear”

Their 1985 album, Crush, was produced by Stephen Hague, whowas also the producer for New Order and Pet Shop Boys. They finally got intoUS’ charts with that album, I guess?? Regarding that album and that year, theyoften say something like “We were trying to break America, but America broke usinstead”, so I can’t be quite sure of what happened… commercially, it waspretty successful, I think… with singles like “Secret” and “La Femme Accident”

It was also in circa 1985 where their most notable song, “IfYou Leave”, was also made. Fun fact: they only wrote it in a day, because JohnHughes changed the ending suddenly and called them and said, “Hey, the song youwrote won’t fit to the new ending, could you write a new one?” right beforethey went on tour. The track that was initially going to be used in Pretty inPink, “Goddess of Love”, was later put on The Pacific Age (1986). Speaking ofwhich, that album has “(Forever) Live and Die”, which is a BANGER and is sungby my handsome hamster, Paul

Then they broke up sometime in late 80s. 1989, I think. Theyowed the company a lot of money, so they made a Best Of album. But even thatwasn’t enough. Their choice was either to make another new album (which canmake money, quite possibly, but due to their past experiences, they barely gotany money left because the touring expenses, royalties to their manager, etcwere so expensive) or to stop and just wait for the money to come from theirprevious albums’ royalties (I’m not really sure about this one, they’ve toldthe story a couple of times during interviews but I could never 100% understandthe story). This is where Andy and Paul went their separate ways. Andy chose tocarry on while Paul chose to stop. So Andy carried the name OMD alone (underhis stubbornness). A couple of years later, Paul, Martin, and Malcolm formedThe Listening Pool. Both were obscured by the new trend in 90s that was Britpopand such (Andy often implies that he blames Britpop for the obscurity ofelectronic bands and I loathe him for that smh I’m a Britpop hoe, fuck youAndy). Andy (as OMD) released 3 albums on that decade, tho. Later on, he formedAtomic Kitten

And then they were reunited in 2006/2007, because they wereasked to perform in a German TV. Then they thought, “Oh, people still like us.Maybe we could make music again.” And so they did… they released History ofModern in 2010, English Electric in 2013, and their latest record, ThePunishment of Luxury, was released a month ago! Unlike the 80s, they are nolonger pressured by their record company, so they’re really doing this purelyfor fun. By the way, their latest single off their latest record, “What Have WeDone”, is sung by Paul and it’s fucking glorious. You should listen to it ifyou haven’t

On a more personal note, I find it weird how they’re bothvery influential and infamous. I mean… they don’t only influence other synthpopbands, but also an alternative like Radiohead. I heard that “Fitter Happier” byRadiohead was influenced by “Genetic Engineering”, and now that I think aboutit, “Fitter Happier” does sound like something out of Dazzle Ships. I’ve been aRadiohead fan since 2011/2012 and yet I literally never heard of OMD until thisyear; not until I got to New Order and was getting more cultured regarding 80ssynthpop acts

Lastly, here are some trivia you might not want to know butsounds like fun to share:

Before realizing that they could be actual musicians, Andy wanted to be an archaeologist, while Paul wanted to be an electric engineer

Atomic Kitten was basically Karl Bartos’ (Kraftwerk) idea. Andy wanted to keep writing songs, but he wasn’t confident enough to perform the songs as OMD, so he thought of just handing them to someone else. Then Karl suggested that he should create a pop group where they would sing his songs. Andy thought, “What’s the most popular group nowadays? Oh, I know, 3-piece girls!”

In the recent years, OMD often have underwears thrown at them lmao. Especially during “(Forever) Live and Die”. Poor Paul having to deal with nasty fans (but honestly… I’d do the same). But sometimes they have hazardous shits thrown at them too. One time, Paul had his head hit by a glass bottle (I’LL FUCKING MURDER ANYONE WHO DID THAT. HOW DARE THEY HURT MY BABY). And Andy almost got decapitated when someone threw a metal tray aimed to his neck. Terrifying

Somehow, when they were touring, the bus they rode on resemble a group of terrorists’ bus, so they were surrounded by guns… and luckily, “Enola Gay” was already a big hit, so Andy just waved a magazine with their faces on it and said “’Enola Gay’! Pop stars! Not terrorists!” jesus Christ

There’s actually a version of “Souvenir” where it was sung by Andy. In 2015, Paul was hospitalized in New York, but he insisted that they should do this gig in Perth, so they did, only 3 of them… “Souvenir” was on the set, and Andy sang it. It was… okay, I guess. I’m so used to Paul’s soft voice singing that, so it’s kinda weird to hear Andy’s powerful voice singing it

 …I’m sorry if you expected a shortsummary and get this re-writing of OMD’s Wikipedia page instead. I never realizedhow deep I am in their ass until I answered this message with a 1600-word essayabout OMD that was based on my memory alone. Good god

I’m awfully thrilled every time someonementions OMD-related to me, so don’t hesitate if you want to talk about them tome!! <3

[antiquecompass]

Untamed Fest Day Twenty-Six: Deadly Sins

Wherein there’s a sleepover, seven students, and various bad manners.

“You’re having a sleepover.”

Sizhui turned from the box of books he was currently unpacking and found his dad at the library door, a proud look on his face and an evil glint in his eye.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Sizhui asked.

“Both,” Dad said. He waved a finger at him.. “And Jingyi doesn’t count! He has his own room! I want new faces. New friends! Your Granny Wen worries that we’re not socializing you enough and I want video and photographic proof that we’re doing just fine.”

“By forcing me to have a sleepover? As the new kid?”

It sounded like a punishment.

Dad waved off his concerns. “You’ll be fine. Kids talk. You’re the most interesting thing they’ve seen in ages. They probably all want to see the inside of the estate. So, go, invite and make friends. Well, you have two very good friends. So make some associates. Build bridges. Promote student synergy.”

It still sounded like a punishment.

“Do I have to?” Sizhui asked.

Dad frowned and his shoulders dropped, the air seemed to go out of him. “Yeah, I know, it sucks. But the Wens are worried that you’re around too many Lans, and Madame Yu made some noise about you losing your social standing, and your Papa said some kids were wondering if you’re actually a Lan puppet come to life among some other bewildering rumors, and I don’t want that to follow you through your entire time at Lan Academy. One sleepover, the standard school kid social gathering, should quiet most of them.”

Sizhui could understand that, but he didn’t have to like it. “So, I have to be an ambassador?”

“It sounds horrible when you put it like that, but yeah. You don’t have to invite a lot of kids. Just ones you like. Or can stand. For a night. Tops. If they last that long.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he called after his dad’s retreating back.

He never got an answer.

*********

The next day at lunch he sat next to Jingyi and started to make the list.

“Zizhen,” Jingyi said before Sizhui could even uncap his pen.

“Obviously. That was never a question.” He wrote down Zizhen’s name. “Ari,” he said, writing his next.

“Really?” Jingyi asked.

Sizhui nodded. “I like him. He’s nice.”

Jingyi frowned. “I think he smiles too much.”

Sizhui laughed. “That’s because you frown too much.” He wrote down another name.

“Rakesh?” Jingyi asked. “Rakesh Patel? That kid already has it out for you.”

“But maybe this way we can come to an understanding?”

Jingyi patted his head. “Such an optimistic boy. This is why no one thinks you’re real.” He stole Sizhui’s pen and list and Jell-O cup. “Here, let me. I actually know these assholes.”

"Be nice."

"I'm always nice." He narrowed his eyes and looked across the cafeteria. "Now let us judge who shall be worthy."

**********

There were seven of them in total. Sizhui, Jingyi, and Zizhen of course. Then Ari Ramos, Rakesh Patel, Magen Giamo from his math class, and finally D’arcy Manchester who arrived with a sheepish smile, an apple pie, and a ghost-hunting kit.

“My parents think your house is haunted,” she admitted after Papa had taken the pie to the kitchen. “They did a study on this house once. It was inconclusive and they wanted me to gather more readings. I’m so sorry. They’re parapsychologists.”

“That’s...different,” Rakesh said as he slowly devoured a bowl of Chex Mix.

D’arcy shrugged, her red ponytail swaying with her exaggerated movements. “I don’t like to talk about it. Like, I’m not ashamed of it, but it’s weird, you know. Like, people accuse them of being charlatans and I have to explain that they’re not, like, running haunted houses and making a profit. Like, they’re not trying to steal money from people. They just believe that there’s more to the world than what’s generally accepted.”

"Could she say 'like' one more time," Jingyi muttered.

“Well, I find it fascinating,” Sizhui said. He shoved an elbow into Jingyi’s side. “Don’t you?”

Jingyi was not doing his part to help with this whole ambassador thing. Jingyi had asked, more than once, if they could just lock the others, save Zizhen, in one of the hidden rooms and spend the rest of the night playing video games. Jingyi was going to be lucky if Sizhui didn’t strangle him before this night was over.

“You know how I feel about those kind of things,” Jingyi hissed. “If there are ghosts in here, I’m running.”

“Coward,” Ari teased.

“Yup,” Jingyi said with no shame. “You want to die a horrible ghostly death for the sake of your fragile masculinity, you go right on ahead, bro. I’ll be far away from all that ghostly shit.”

“So,” Magen said, dragging out the word, “speaking of ghostly shit, are we here to participate in your family’s coven? Cult? Whatever the Lans are? Seven’s a pretty significant number. Seven Deadly Sins. Seven Virtues. Seven Seals.”

“The Lans aren’t a cult. Or a coven,” Sizhui said, completely baffled. “Or Christian for that matter.”

"And the only deadly thing here is his dad's cooking."

"Jingyi!"

"He gave you food poisoning!"

"That was five years ago!"

"Whoa," Ari said, turning to Zizhen. "So it's true they're betrothed, right? Because they already bicker like they've been married for twenty years."

"Nah, that's just another rumor," Zizhen said. 

“He should be so lucky,” Jingyi said.

Sizhui was absolutely dumping half a canister of chili flakes in his soda once it was time for dinner.

“So, Sizhui, where’d you come from?” Rakesh asked.

“Your mom,” Jingyi muttered. 

That set off a round of spit-takes and Sizhui was never going to get that orange soda out of the carpet.

“Boston,” Sizhui said as he helped Zizhen soak up the spilled Sunkist. “Last spring I decided I wanted to attend the Academy.”

“And you got in?” Ari asked. He snapped his fingers. “Just like that?”

“He’s a Lan,” D’arcy said. “Every single Lan has a place set aside for them.”

“Right, but like…” Ari trailed off. “Never mind.”

“He’s adopted,” Jingyi said. “That’s one of the many ways two men can raise a kid.”

“So, did they like order you from a catalog or something?” Rakesh asked.

“What does that even mean?” D’arcy asked. 

Sizhui would like to know too.

“Like, did they pick the perfect kid to make the perfect Lan? Is there a whole factory? A sperm bank but for Lan heirs?” Rakesh asked. “What were your parents’ SAT scores?”

“They both got 1600s.”

“No, your real parents,” Rakesh said.

“They are his real parents,” Magen said. “Jesus, Rakesh. Just live with the fact he’s better at math than you. For once you have someone challenging you for Valedictorian. Work harder.”

“I don’t know, sperm bank is a better theory than him being the Lan version of Pinocchio,” Ari said.

Sizhui looked up from his piles of paper towels and glared at Jingyi.

“What?” Jingyi asked, mouth full of M&Ms.

“What have you been telling people about me?”

“Nothing! Except that you’re awesome,” Jingyi said. “Look, most of them haven’t seen you outside of Lan family events, so for a long time no one thought you were even real. And they couldn’t understand why, when every other Lan attended from first grade on, you weren’t already enrolled. So rumors have been running rampant since you were five.”

“Oh, it’s surely not been every Lan,” Sizhui said.

“Every Lan born on the east coast,” Zizhen said. 

Wow, did Papa really put his foot down when it came to raising Sizhui on his parents’ own terms.

A loud thud came from within the walls before the lights cut out and an evil laugh echoed through the room. A high-pitched scream that could only be Jingyi filled the air before Sizhui was flattened to the ground with Jingyi clutching to his back.

“Wei Ying!”

His Papa’s voice bellowed through the house before the lights came back on.

“There are secret passages,” Zizhen explained to the group of terrified students. “And Mr. Lan-Wei is a King of Mischief.” He stood, ever the perfect host. “Can I interest anyone in some Bagel Bites? Pizza Rolls? The veggie platter?”

Sizhui laid his head down on the floor, his clothes staining with spilled soda, Jingyi still clinging to his back, and vowed to never, ever, ever have a sleepover again.

[stoopjuice-blog]

The Fastest Way To Build The Wall In 2019

The Fastest Way To Build The Wall In 2019 The fastest way to build the wall and promote my bleak outlook for 2019 is to seek-out factual information that confirms my biases. I’d encourage people to read Upton Sinclair’s the Jungle to illustrate the news media’s birth through mercantilism and yellow journalism. This early playbook of blatant lies and omissions are being reenacted today by Donald Trump and his administration’s muckraking, while the 50 articles I’ve written on LinkedIn to encourage self reliance and mobilization go mostly unread.  Could this be the reason why so many well intentioned individuals who oppose the Trump administration opt for the road of least resistance?

Media

Before the printing press was invented, word of mouth was the primary source of news. Returning merchants, sailors and travelers brought news back to the mainland, and this was then picked up by peddlers and traveling merchants and spread from town to town. This transmission of news was highly unreliable, and died out with the invention of the printing press. By 1400, businessmen in Italian and German cities were compiling hand written chronicles of important news events, and circulating them to their business connections. The idea of using a printing press for this material first appeared in Germany around 1600. Magazines flourished after Napoleon left in 1815. Most were based in Paris and most emphasized literature, poetry and stories. They served religious, cultural and political communities. In times of political crisis they expressed and helped shape the views of their readership and thereby were major elements in the changing political culture. Theodore Roosevelt coined the term "muckraker" during a speech in 1906. He compared investigative reporters to the narrow-minded figure in John Bunyan's 17th-century religious fable, "The Pilgrim's Progress": the "man that could look no way but downwards, with a muckrake in his hand.” To others during the Progressive Era the term muckraker characterized reform-minded American journalists who attacked established institutions and leaders as corrupt. They typically had large audiences in some popular magazines. Yellow journalism or press presents little or no legitimate well-researched news while instead using eye-catching headlines for increased sales. Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.

Mercantilism

Mercantilism is the economic theory that holds that the prosperity of a nation depends upon its supply of capital, and that the global trade is unchangeable. Capital is held by the state, is increased through balance of trade. Overall, they encourage exports and discourage imports, with the use of tariffs.

The 99%

Most people have an intuitive model of cooperative behavior that stems from two linked fears, one of being taken advantage of and another of under producing for lack of opportunities. Creating a way, a path, for us to work with citizens and government in a format that eliminates the ingrained fears by understanding both supply and demand is the primary goal. On the demand side, the commons situation encourages a race to the bottom by overuse—what economists call a congested–public-good problem. On the supply side, the commons rewards free-rider behavior—removing or diminishing incentives for individual actors to invest in developing more output.The tragedy of the commons predicts only three possible outcomes. One is the sea of mud. Another is for some actor with coercive power to enforce an allocation policy on behalf of the village (the socialist/communist solution). The third is for the commons to break up as village members, fence-off bits they can defend and manage sustainably.

Building The Wall

2018 witnessed 3 government shutdowns.  Currently, the President Of The United States forced the government to shutdown insisting we build a wall on the Mexico - US boarder. The support for the wall is another example of the tragedy of the commons whereas the demand for undocumented workers in certain industries in the U.S. creates incentive for others to cross the boarder which has led to the increase in illegal residents in the United States. On the supply side, many Americans don’t know what to study in college, because no one knows what skills learned at 20 will be relevant at 40. The number of these useless individual increases, not through chance but by definition diminishing incentives for this group to invest in developing additional skills in higher demand or outperforming undocumented workers in low skill work. Put another way, the fastest way Americans can build the wall is by outperforming undocumented workers in low skill industries. This will discourage others looking for work from crossing the Mexican border. Past Democratic or Republican administration’s inability to address this is partly to blame for the immigration mess we have today.

The way things are

In the real world, we are not all equal and Donald Trump is the President of The United States. Access to most opportunities are subsidized by access to wealth. This is followed by how much of the sciences, engineering, technology, management and skills of labor an individual possesses coinciding with an individual's ability to learn, understand and articulate effectively these areas of study. The fourth and final step is to make the application and utilize our aptitude and abilities on things within our power. It’s also very common for people to change the narrative they tell themselves regarding economic philosophies based upon experiences, education and self interest during their lifetime. Unfortunately, there is a serious shortage of super beings in America.

The way things should be

Instead of mimicking Donald Trump’s non-virtuous approach, we should seek to make open-source cooperation sustainable similar to what happens with software programs. Part of the answer certainly lies in the fact that using software does not decrease its value. Indeed, widespread use of open-source software tends to increase its value, as users fold in their own fixes and features (code patches). In this inverse commons, the grass grows taller when it's grazed upon.That this public good cannot be degraded by overuse takes care of half of the congested–public-goods problem. It doesn't explain why open source doesn't suffer from under provision. Why don't people who know the open-source community exists universally exhibit free-rider behavior, waiting for others to do the work they need, or (if they do the work themselves) not bothering to contribute the work back into the commons?Part of the answer lies in the fact that people don't merely need solutions, they need solutions on time. It's seldom possible to predict when someone else will finish a given piece of needed work. If the payoff from fixing a bug or adding a feature is sufficient to any potential contributor, that person will dive in and do it (at which point the fact that everyone else is a free rider becomes irrelevant).Another part of the answer lies in the fact that the putative market value of small patches to a common source base is hard to capture. Being reactive by only sitting on the patch gains nothing. Indeed, it incurs a future cost—the effort involved in re-merging the patch into the source base in each new release. So the payoff from this choice is actually negative. Suppose I wrote an article that encourages people to think and the readers find it easily accessible , and suppose many readers realize my article has a monetary value; how do I collect from all those people? We all can win if we see money for what it really is, a social construct that promotes exchange through trust. To put it more positively, by writing this article I gain from the reader’s input and potential input from different groups. I also gain because others will improve on my work in the future.

The road of least resistance 

We should enable Americans to form habitual ways to meet certain needs or solve day-to-day problems instead of reading distracting tweets from the President. Tell yourself, “greatness is the perception that virtue is enough”. Unfortunately, the common person often lacks virtue, instead we avoid looking within ourselves to make self-improvements to increase our value in the free market. The weakest rebuttal to what I propose is that no market is absolutely free; a frail objection since all things exists in the margins. I advocate for capitalism by arguing the economic pendulum should swing more in the direction of the free market in order to promote a better quality of life for the masses. Ideally, we could balance our lives, with clearly defined goals and a realistic understanding of outcome. Put another way, individuals must know and understand the probability and effectiveness of their actions in order to reach their goals. I think we need to be both constructively skeptical and virtuous while helping those in need. Since gauging need is subjective, it opens up the door for misinterpretation and disagreement regarding distribution. How do we qualify, quantify and communicate an individual’s need? Who’s the agent of interpretation? These are 5 beliefs of the current administration I disagree with that should be avoided:

1. Citizens and government want different things.

2. Technique counts more than intent.

3. Solutions have inherent value (one size fits all)

4. Donald Trump ignores Methodology 

5. World - class advocacy precedes world - class Inquiry (talking before listening) or a misinformed will to power approach.

Reversing these five key beliefs set the groundwork for a process that allows government to deal with undocumented workers and citizens in an honest, straightforward manner where we can discover all issues and needs, gather the hard information needed to create solutions that puts our country’s sustainability above all else. This can be done without wasting time and resources by avoiding redundancies by utilizing available (unbiased) data.

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 22: Today’s Writing Excerpt

Okay, so I got some writing done. More than I thought I would but...it was not easy. Like words being pulled from me instead of just flowing along. And I’m not sure how I actually feel about what I did get down. I’m trying not to reread it obsessively because I think I need some distance to decide if it’s good, okay, or actually totally bad. I’m often so much harsher on stuff I just wrote than on stuff I’m looking back on with a few days’ or a week’s remove.

Today I worked on my Dual Timeline Jonty story, which I haven’t even touched in almost two weeks. I wrote one entire scene, or ~1600 words, bringing it to ~6600 words total. Which is actually kind of a lot when you consider it’s only 4 scenes long right now and I don’t really know where it’s ultimately headed/how many scenes it will need.

Anyway, I don’t know. Projects like this feel so eternal and sometimes demoralizing for that reason but I gotta just be proud of every little bit done. Plus, my Bellarke fills are (comparatively) very easy to write so if I get tired of this slog I can always switch to them for a bit.

Here’s part of what I wrote today:

*

Monty assumed it would be just him and Jasper at Mecha on Friday night, alone like they haven't been alone in a week, but Miller and Bellamy end up coming along too, not at the last moment, though Monty hadn’t known about their plans before. They grab a round table off to the side, more than big enough for the four of them, and order drinks as the band sets up. Whatever has been building up and up in Monty's throat these last few days has hardened now, some combination of anticipation multiplying but never fulfilled, and words half-formed but never given conscious voice, but he tells himself over and over that the feeling itself is no more than an illusion, an exaggeration, a trick his mind is playing on itself, and tries his best to swallow it down.

Bellamy starts talking about the latest misadventures he's been having with his boss, while Miller nods along and Jasper goes utterly silent. He's sitting next to Monty, so there's no way to look at him without making it obvious he's looking. There's no way to try to talk to him, without interrupting the latest Shumway chronicle. When the band starts to play, conversation dies out anyway.

Not that he really had anything to say.

The band is pretty decent for a local crew but their drummer keeps terrible time and all of their lyrics are like someone's scribbled high school poetry, anxious love notes of the adolescent set. When Monty was in high school he watched Jasper pining over girls, nearly constantly, watched him fall fiercely and ardently in love again and again. Himself, though, he mostly hung back. Hooked up a couple times at parties, at first to see what it was like, then for the quiet, secret thrill of it.

The guys in the band aren't seventeen any more than Monty is but still their anxious pleas remind him of nothing so much as the first rush of feeling that a kid, too young and confused yet to know better, mistakes for the truest of loves. It's a little grating, if he listens too hard.

When they leave for intermission, Monty chances a quick look at Jasper's face but can't read it, not in the dim light.

“What did you think of them?” Monty asks him, and Jasper shrugs.

“I could drum better than that guy,” he says. Then he looks over to his left, at the next table over, and adds, "Has anyone else noticed how hard those girls have been trying to flirt with Miller?"

"Yeah," Bellamy says, looking over at them too, "they're not very subtle.”

Miller just grumbles and shrugs his shoulders up so high he looks like he's trying to hide himself between them. "How do you know they're not flirting with you?" he counters. "Or Bellamy, or Monty?"

"Because I don't think they've even noticed we're here," Jasper answers. "Look at one of them. Any of them. They're fawning."