#the 'genuinely unable' one tickles me because if i was genuinely unable to do something I wouldn't feel bad about saying no to it

[beaft]

i keep seeing these articles around that are supposed to assist you in setting healthy boundaries, and while i appreciate the sentiment, the phrasing always feels way too vague to be of any real use. for example:

"it's okay to say no when you're genuinely unable to do something" - sure, but what does "genuinely unable" mean? because theoretically i'm able to walk 20 kilometres over mountains in the pouring rain, but just because i can doesn't mean i should.

"don't feel guilty about refusing excessive or unfair requests" - i have no barometer for whether a request is excessive or unfair, which is precisely why i have so much trouble saying no to things

"express your negative emotions authentically" fine if that means saying "i'm sad" when you're sad, or having a cry when you need a cry, but what if your negative emotions are destructive to you or to others? what does "authentically" even mean? if i authentically feel like biting people and screaming and hitting things, does that mean it's okay for me to do that?

maybe i'm just being overly literal, but i feel like so many of these articles are just a lot of buzzwords that have no practical application beyond, like, making people feel slightly better about that time they refused to take on an extra shift at the grocery store

[earthnashes]

SOOOOOOOO. Arcane season 2, huh? Now that a couple of days have passed for me to marinate I think I'm ready to share my thoughts on the season. This WILL contain spoilers though so if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching for yourself first!

So! Overall, as a standalone season I feel like there are things Arcane excelled at and things that have lost its way a bit. For starters and easily the best part of the show: it's visuals. I've heard some complaints about how much the show cost but like. Brother. When I think of super expensive shows, THIS is what I think it should look like. At no point did I question the budget because it's made abundantly clear every penny is used to best use it could possibly get. And it resulted in what I've been calling a modern greek statue: a marvel, an incredible tapestry of just about every art medium you can think of woven into something so beyond anything I've seen in animation I have a hard time finding the appropriate words to express exactly how much I'm taken by it. This is a clear example of what art IS man and jesus christ. It's mindblowing. I can't praise the show enough for that, like it's literally the best looking thing I've ever seen in media.

Same with the sound design and music, particularly in the battle scenes. Something about the energy behind the sounds, like the clacking of Vi's gloves as shes revving up for a punch, or the reverb of metal clashing, the sound of how blows connect. Even the little things, like the distinct difference between footsteps, or the glitch-like sound that spiders in the backround before shimmer or the arcane is utilized? Like CHEF'S KISS BRO. God almighty it tickles a part in my head.

Just the visuals and sound design is fuckin tasty bro. A solid 1000000000/10

So now Characters. Season 2 managed to take the existing characters and really built off of what was already there. In my opinion the characters, particularly the main players, received additional depth and evolution in a way that made sense in the long run, and the conclusions they reached in their arcs felt like a correct conclusion. However, it's how they got there and how fast they get there being one of my complaints.

For starters: the love triangle between Jinx, Vi, and Caitlyn. I didn't appreciate how, for the most part, it felt like it took a backseat in this season when it was one of the driving forces of season 1. It's not JUST them though: the relationships of every character kinda fell away to the wayside for the sake of getting through as much of the plot as possible, but we're on these three right now so:

-I feel like a PROPER recouncil between Vi and Jinx was sorely needed. There were hints to it, particularly in Act 2, but we were kinda left guessing and having to fill the majority of the gaps ourselves. One of Vi's driving factors as a character is her relationship with Jinx/Powder; her unable to accept that she's changed in her absence. Act 2 opened the door in allowing Vi to learn about Jinx as she is and come to terms that, even if she's changed, she's still her sister and there's a chance to bridge that gap. Vice versa to Jinx, particularly because of Isha's presence; I have to assume by becoming an older sister herself, she begins to get an understanding of Vi she previously lacked and that really could've been a stronger catalyst in her recounciling with her. Had the sisters actually got more on-screen time together and really let the hope between them breath, I feel like the ending would've had a much stronger impact.

-Cait/Vi, as much as I enjoy the pairing, felt a little too disjointed. Act 1 was the strongest showcase of their relationship; a sudden escalation driven by mutual grief and attraction and genuine care only to be torn apart immediately after because of Cait's blind rage. Cinema. Beautiful. But immediately after, we don't really see either character work off that much in my opinion. Vi does have a spiral that was very well shown, though I do wish we saw more of Pit Vi and her descent.

As far as Cait goes I would've preferred seeing her spiraling in her own way; with how the third episode of Act 1 ended, I felt like the show was gearing up to showcase how much she allows her hunt for vengeance cloud her mind and take over her life, to do things her mother would have not approved of. Like bro she was so SURE she wouldn't miss (immediately after missing every shot she took up to that point) that she was willing to potentially kill a child for it. Ain't no way she wasn't constantly frothing at the mouth for some time, wallowing in Vi's apparent "betrayal" and in the grief of her mother's death. I DO like how she is seen questioning her actions but it just feels like a tiny snapshot. Had they continued with showing her questioning what, exactly, the hell she's doing (while continuing to go on with her reign), then seeing not just Vi but also how her actions has widened the rift between Piltover and Zaun, her finally being able to break herself off would've felt more weighty.

"What are you shooting for, young Kiramman?" Grayson once asked. I can't help but feel like that line could have had some very strong carry-through into this season; not only giving a proper callback to Grayson as Cait's mentor(?) but also cement Cait's inner turmoil between blinded by revenge, but growing to dislike what she's turned into to get it.

And the sex scene. Particularly WHERE the sex scene occurred, immediately after Jinx heavily implied offing herself to "break the cycle". Vi isn't stupid. I felt like it was extremely clear what Jinx was alluding to, and it seemed like Vi understood that with how she asked "What are you gonna do?" She sounded terrified and desperate. She has SEEN Jinx be suicidal in this season first hand, was all but directly asked by Jinx to put her out of her misery herself. You're telling me she immediately bones the shit outta Cait right after Jinx scampers off and seems to forget it?? I dunno man. :/ I wouldn't remove the fuckfest, but in my opinion there were better places to put it.

And overall in terms of the characters as a whole, there was just too many gaps and too little time. Vander felt like he was underutilized, particularly his clear fight in trying to get a hold of his humanity; could've really used him to push the running theme of people can change, but they're still the same person at their very core.

Heimerdinger got shafted I feel like. He had such a strong impact in S1, only for his death to be... well. Forgotten.

Mel's storyline was way too fucking short. Love the powers she got but they ultimately felt unearned; I feel like we could've spent way more time on her learning to control it to some extent. Her whole shtick in being cunning and one step ahead of everyone (much like her mother) could've played a stronger part here too, particularly because I don't remember the Black Rose being explained much, so it would've been nice to see Mel put her strengths into play to find out for herself and give her a more active role in her ability to fight back.

Ambessa was anticlimactic and I didn't appreciate how she ultimately perished. I wanted her to die, don't get me wrong, but the war in general felt waaaaay too short and her death too easy. I appreciate they didn't go full evil with her, and made her an embodiment of Singe's quote of "doing horrendous things in the name of love", but it kinda felt like her initial plot of using hextech to fight the Black Rose (I could be wrong here but that is what it felt like she ultimately wanted) kinda got... forgotten?

Victor's progression is the only one that felt mostly natural in it's pacing. But again, with how unstoppable his robot pawns were, I felt like they really robbed the final battle of any significant weight to it; Zaun and Piltover, fighting as one against a common enemy. One of the biggest payoffs in the show... felt underwheming and, again, unearned.

And the new characters didn't really get much chance to do much of anything. Loris felt like an important parallel to Vander given how many times he was shown to look and sorta act like him. I felt like he had a bigger role to fill but just ended up bodied. Maddie, at least, had somethin interesting goin on but I feel like she could've been made more impactful in her betrayal.

Overall, a mid 5/10. It wasn't terrible, but it definitely needed more time to really flesh everything out.

And finally, the plot. I personally really enjoyed the overall plot and it's opposing themes to season 1. Whereas s1 felt like "love is undoing" and veered into tragedy, s2 felt like "love is healing" and veered into hope; the sisters learning to accept one another, Vi and Cait mending the rift between each other, Victor and Jayce finding their way back to one another. Isha giving Jinx purpose and a new perspective on life, Vander returning and, even if briefly, managing to regain his humanity for his daughters, the list goes on. It's such a beautiful contrast to season 1, but that is part of why I strongly feel like Arcane NEEDED one more season.

Season 2 was too focused on getting as much story out as possible that it didn't allow the characters themselves to push it forward, and it was weakened for it. Had there been three seasons, Act 1 and Act 2 could have been the entirety of season 2, and Act 3 could have been the whole of a season 3, where we get to see the total climax of everything that occurred. Given the rumors of there being a strong interest for an animated movie (and I have a theory that it might be to continue the story of Arcane in some way), that might help with some of the contingencies if it's true, but that's only if the movie actually comes to fruition.

As it currently stands, my biggest critique of Season 2 was switching focus on making the plot drive the story, when instead it really should've continued the trend from Season 1 in letting the characters drives the story forward.

_______

My meds is beginning to kick in and I'm getting drowsy from it so I'll leave it here for now! TLDR: Arcane Season 2 was mostly good. I have my fair bit of complaints and thoughts on how I'd personally structure everything, but a a whole, pretty good! It's one of those shows where I would personally recommend everyone watch from start to finish to at least experience it in its entirety yourself.

Season 2 Rating: 7.5/10

[a-simple-imagine]

Tear apart the heart

synopsis: you just watched your girlfriend die right in front of you

pairing: victoria neuman x reader

words: 1k+

WARNINGS - themes of grief, blood, death, mention of body pieces

she promised you the world and instead, you got the most disgusting makeshift lab you ever had the displeasure of stepping inside. but it really didn't matter anymore.

that heavy feeling in your chest is brand spanking new. you search your brain for a comparison but it's like nothing you've ever felt before. it's almost suffocating. blocking off the one thing keeping you alive right now. air. gross, dingy air that was so polluted with chemicals and old take out, it almost knocked you sick but now a hint of copper joined this mix. an unwelcome change. a tickle against your cheek. you reach up to remove the tear. only it is red as it slips from the tip of your finger down your hand and to your wrist. you wanted to believe it was fake even as it trickled down your forearm. so desperate for none of this to be real. but deep down you know it is. it's blood. her blood. and maybe the droplets that adorn your skin should have been actually tears but they just never came. did that make youan evil person? undoubtedly. everyone cries when someone dies. it's like the first thing that's expected. but you just couldn't. what you felt inside wasn't sadness per se. or maybe it was. you couldn't tell. it didn't feel like when you were normally about to cry. this felt all-consuming. you felt rigid in this moment. unable to process anything. This wasn't ordinary. most people didn't watch the person they loved get ripped in two. weren’t drenched in tiny pieces of their girlfriend. it felt comical in a way. perhaps that was why you were having such a hard time acknowledging it. people don't just get ripped in half. this wasn't a comic book or some mid-budget horror film which gaineda startling cult following because they used practical effects instead of CGI for the gore but they didn't overdo it with the gore either. it was tasteful. no. this wasn't tasteful. you don't know what this is. you can hardly even look at her. you want to go back. dear god. you shouldn't have given in so easily.

"did you order the food?" you question, glancing up from her laptop that you had been playing on.

"What?" a brief blank expression that settles into a gentle smile. the kind of smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "no. sorry."

"Can I order something?" a silent nod puts you to work and decides what to have. "who were you talking to then- on the phone?"

"Hughie,"

the name alone forms a pit in your stomach. you used to think so fondly of him. you'd met him a great many times but that was before. "you can't be serious,"

"Just hear me out"

"no, Victoria- that man has tried to kill you multiple times," you express. "what could you possibly want from him?"

"out," a simple word. She cares not to elaborate as she walks closer to the kitchen aisle. taking her laptop, she spins it around to face her. "so what are we eating?"

"what do you mean out?"

she shrugs. "I want out. out of everything. I just- I can't do this anymore."

your heart beats a little faster. out of everything? out of this? that wouldn't explain the conversation with Hughie. although they used to be close friends. "what?"

"he's gonna help me get out of this mess," she expresses. "I think I wanted this for a while. like genuinely wanted it not just because of what was happening around me or stan or whatever. but now it's just not something that makes any sense."

"Vic,"

"It's pathetic really but I'm just never gonna be more than a puppet. and that's not what I want- I don't wanna be under anyone's control, y'know?"

"Sure," a lopsided smile with a hint of shrug. you didn't get it. felt like a few pieces of the puzzle were missing. a small sigh leaves her painted lips as she walks over to you. your eyes trail after her until you're staring into all too familiar eyes. usually so steely but today they possess a flicker of something different.

"Hughie is gonna help me get out. if I do this- if I help them bring down homelander then I just get to live my life away from all the bullshit. I realised all I want now is to be with Zoe. and with you too."

"Are we just skipping the part where he and his friends tried to murder you? how can we trust them?" you wonder what she can see in your eyes. the fear of what's to come. the joy of knowing she was willing to give up everything to be with you? That was a crazy thought. a crazy thing to admit. Victoria was gentle with you and loving but this felt like a different level of vulnerability. one you never saw from her.

"I'm not asking you to trust them," she holds your gaze, firm and pleading. "I'm asking you to trust me."

she had never steered you so wrong before. on shaky legs, you push yourself up off the dusty floor. brushing yourself off; little did it help. your heart races with your decision as 5 people - mostly strangers- surround you. you weren't a supe. you had no means to protect yourself here. they don't seem like they're gonna kill you as you turn around to find Hughie amongst them. he was covered in blood too. your girlfriend's blood. it was almost strange how fitting it was. That pit that once formed was now a silent rage as you stared at him. the man who Victoria trusted enough to come here. the man who promised her protection. the man who leads her to her death. he just stares back. a look of sympathy perhaps- no, pity. you take a deep breath and turn away in search of the other person you arrived with. zoe lies unconscious off to one side. at least you hope she's just unconscious. or maybe you didn't? what was a worse experience for her? you slowly make your way over to her. nobody stops you. nobody makes a move. you know you can't carry her so you just sit down beside her. a gentle hand on her side. you don't want her to be alone when she finds out her mother is dead.

[xxsabitoxx]

Love, Don't Be Shy

Sweet like candy | Gojo Satoru x AFAB Reader

Warnings: Suggestive-ish content but mostly fluff

A/N: More Satoru fluffy domestic content to heal the soul.

WORD COUNT: 1.1k (exactly, may I add)

You sniffed yet another bottle of perfume, mildly thankful that you hadn’t given yourself a headache just yet. You were in desperate search of a perfume to surprise your boyfriend with, one that he would love and that would satisfy his insatiable sweet tooth. In hindsight, it would have made more sense to drag Satoru along with you. That way you’d know you picked the right perfume because he’d be there with you to tell you. But, you wanted to surprise him, so you set down the bottle you had just smelt and grabbed the coffee bean shaker yet again. Turns out coffee acts as a reset button for your nose, it was probably why you could still smell at this point. 

You reached for another bottle, grabbing a tester strip and spraying the contents twice. Shaking the paper so it would dry faster, you brought the strip to your nose and inhaled. You nearly gasped in the middle of the small store, immediately knowing that this perfume was the one. You grabbed the bottle, reading over the label and smiling as marshmallow, honeysuckle and vanilla were listed among other sweet scents. “Perfect…” you whispered triumphantly, knowing immediately that Satoru would love it. Within five minutes your two hour perfume excursion had ended and you were nearly bouncing home with the bottle in tow. 

You arrived home before him, giving you plenty of time to change into comfier clothes and practically douse yourself in the sugary sweet scent. As you threw yourself down on the couch, the front door to your shared apartment opened. “I’m home!” he called, not expecting you to be sitting on the couch. “Oh! Well hello.” he grinned at you, undoing his blindfold as he turned to shut and lock the front door. “Well hello to you too, mister.” you grinned as he tossed the blindfold on the dining table before striding across the room to practically tackle you with his affection. You laughed as he climbed on top of you, forcing you into a lying position as he nuzzled his face into your neck. You couldn’t contain your smile as you felt him freeze. 

Satoru sniffed once, twice, three times before pulling his head up to look down at you with creased brows. “You smell good, baby.” It was genuine but you could tell he was a little suspicious. “You think so?” you comment softly, hands reaching up to run through his hair. “I do, you smell really good, really sweet… I like it.” Satoru shamelessly bent down to drag his nose up your neck, smelling the perfume mixing with your natural scent. You laughed, the ticklish sensation making you squirm a bit before he stopped and placed a kiss on your jawline. “Did you buy a new perfume or something?” Still, Satoru wasn’t taking many breaks before his nose was somewhere else on your body. “I–ha–Satoru that tickles! I-I did buy a new perfume.” 

“Just for me?” he commented softly, placing a kiss on your chin, then your neck, shoulder, your sternum, inhaling each time he did. “Just for y-you…” you nearly hiccuped, having gasped in enough air to cause them. “That’s so sweet of you baby… fuck you smell amazing.” it seemed you had made the right choice, Satoru couldn’t get enough of it. “I’m so glad you think so, it wasn’t all that cheap.” you laugh again as he pushes himself up to hover over you, a goofy grin spreading across his lips as he looks down at you. “You’re fucking adorable, you know that?” That goofy grin only seemed to grow wider as you became visibly shy. “Cmon love, don’t be shy.” Satoru cooed as he leaned down to hover his lips just above yours. “You’re so perfect.” 

This time you made a noise, something like a squeak as he laughed softly. “I mean it, you’re adorable to go out and buy a perfume you’d know I like… which is also very impressive. You know me so well, baby.” Your eyes squeezed shut, unable to bear the teasing but genuine tone of his words. “Satoru…” you whined, head turning away from him just before he could slot his lips over yours. Instead, they landed against your cheek, causing him to hum in dissatisfaction. “I’ve seen every square inch of your body, I’ve been inside of your body, yet me calling you adorable, praising you, calling you love and baby has you turning into a flustered mess… I don’t get it.” He chided, laughing a little as you opened your eyes to look at him in surprise. “Satoru!” 

“It’s the truth! You get so shy when I praise you, which just makes you even more adorable.” this time he managed to land his lips on yours, humming in satisfaction as you easily gave in. It took Satoru a minute to process one other key thing, pulling away with a soft smack of his lips. “Vanilla lip balm… you’re full of surprises today.” you laughed again, smiling up at him with an equally goofy grin. “I know you love sweet things, Toru… I wanted to surprise you.” your eyes shifted over to a bag you had left by the tv stand, your empty perfume bag beside it. Satoru recognized  the bag color immediately, only one shop the two of you frequented had bags that color. “You didn’t…” he rasped out, cheeks turning pink. “Oh I did.” 

The bag was from your local “adult” store, flavored lubes were inside. “What ones did you get?” he questioned with dilated pupils, immediately intrigued by the idea. “Oh they have a ton, Toru. Salted caramel, brown sugar, vanilla, cinnamon bun, blueberry muffin, birthday cake…” he audibly groaned, shoulders shaking with laughter a moment later. “I love you.” it was so light and genuine that you could have melted on the spot. Giggling, you responded “I love you too, Toru.” You smiled as he kissed your forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally your lips before clamoring off of you to go look in the bag. “Holy shit you got them all?” all the flavors you had named plus a few fruity ones, just in case. “I did, the worker looked a little jealous.” You laughed as you sat up. 

“They had every right to be…” there was a new tone in his voice, one that had heat starting to pool in your gut. “We’re trying all of these tonight, I hope you know that.” You sighed, “Satoru, I have work in the morning.” but you knew that was a useless excuse. 

“Yeah? Looks like you’ll be calling out, baby.”

[wreckingtickles]

Shoto Todoroki (mha) Headcanons

Having been raised apart from his siblings and his father being what he was, Todoroki's only memories of tickling as a child are tied to his mother; but after she was driven to the brink and hospitalized (how the fuck the author decided that the system that made Endeavor no. 2 was fine at some point after the Stain arc and that no charges should be pressed will forever baffle me), young Todoroki was cut off from that form of affection, among many others.

So when he was reintroduced to it by his classmates, everyone was surprised by his reaction, including Todoroki himself: not only is he very ticklish, he is completely unprepared when it cones to dealing with the sensation, and unable to stifle his reaction in the slightest: when he tries, he closes his eyes, giggles, and squirms in place, but the adorable display tends to be short-lived. His laughter is every bit as adorable as Izuku's, and unlike the latter's, it almost seems completely genuine, like he's just that happy, even though tickling can feel like torture to him.

It goes without saying that the first to tickle him was Kirishima, breaking down that physical barrier and confusing Todoroki quite a bit - is it torturous, or does it make him feel giddy? Izuku would be next, and even Shoji on one occasion after a massage; and after he started getting close to Bakugo, the two did clash ticklishly a couple of times. Tickling also ended up playing a part in his attempts to reconnect with his siblings, Fubuki and especially Natsuo in particular - defeating the golden child with tickles really made him feel like a big brother.

But unlike most of his male classmates, the other main exception being Midoriya, Todoroki is quite the popular lee with the girls as well, who love seeing the stoic, handsome boy giggle, attention that would end up eliciting the envy of Kaminari and Monoma.

But as surprised as everyone when he was revealed to be a viable lee, the few who have witnessed him as a ler were downright shocked. Initially, as expected, he didn't have a clue what to do, but with pointers from Kirishima, and a few from Izuku and even Bakugo, he became an absolute menace to those three, learning their most vulnerable spots and targeting them without holding back, having no compunction about summining ice restraints if he feels like it or driving his lees to their limit. And with his attitude seeming so dispassionate even as he mines their worst spots for hysteria, he flusters his three lees to no end, but even more so once he starts to remark on what he's doing and how they're reacting in that matter-of-fact manner of his.

Kirishima might be his most frequent lee since he'll just ask for it, but his favorite is no doubt Izuku: I see Todoroki as a homoromantic ace (and as an aside, the character I could most easily see as transmasc), and that he'd catch feelings for Izuku feels inevitable. So the poor greenette might have ended up laughing a whole lot as part of Todoroki's attempts at skinship.

Oof, that was a lot. Onto his worst spots!

As you can see, I'm keeping them SFW (much like his Auction chapter), but each spot also has two ratings, because his left and right sides are ticklish in different ways. His left side is generally more ticklish than the right, with one very notable exception. Kirishima probably didn't notice this split at first, this feels more like something Izuku would get curious about, and Bakugo would later wind up exploiting lol While his total isn't that high as a result, a tickler who knows what he's doing that targets his weaker spots will break him in no time, and Todoroki's low stamina is felt all the more in a ticklish setting.

Oh, Todoroki has the misfortune of being feather-ticklish, though not as much as Midoriya, but an easy way to break him is temperature play: ice cubes on his left side and, well, lickles and roasting on the right just destroy him.

Smiling (4.5-5.5): Todoroki's chest and B-side aren't very ticklish, but still somewhat responsive to feather-like tickling.

Giggling (6-7): Todoroki's ears, neck, and thighs are giggle-worthy, as is his left hip (curiously less sensitive than the right) and his right underarm (much less sensitive than the left). The way he scrunches up his nose when his ears or neck are tickled make them most of the girls' favorite spots.

Laughing (7.5-8.5): Todoroki's midsection is very ticklish and yields consistent results whether you're tickling the left side or the right - but his lers are likely to be doing both at the same time if they're there. These happen to be the least feather-sensitive areas on his body.

Howling (9-10): These spots absolutely wreck Todoroki, he can't handle having them tickled, and they're the only target that immediately cause Todoroki to look like he's being tortured (which is generally what the lers targeting them want, whether they're Natsuo, Bakugo, or particularly mean Kiri and Izuku). Interestingly, his right side breaks the pattern of his right... side being less sensitive, as it's his second most ticklish spot overall, only trumped by his right foot. Also, each red spot is the favorite of one of his most frequent ticklers: Kirishima is more likely to linger on his armpits, Izuku on his sides (though, having mapped out his most ticklish spots, he is fond of mixing and matching when Todoroki needs skinship), and Bakugo on his feet (definitely NOT because targeting them makes him feel better about his own super ticklish tootsies); Natsuo will hit anything within reach.

[akillerbeforeyou]

Anything.

(Kai Anderson x fem!reader)

Authors note: Heyy! This is my first time writing for Kai (and writing on Tumblr in general) so please feel free to tell me how you feel about it! It will be a two-parter (smut in the second part) because I'm lazy and didn't feel like writing more. Also, this is barely proofread.

Also! This fic is heavily inspired by a Kai bot from @fear-is-truth I wouldn't have had the motivation to start writing again if it wasn't for that bot so thank you!

Word count: around 1k

Content warning: implied sexual content, implied violence, that's pretty much it for now.

read part two here

It was my fault. I had fucked up, big time. 

From the very beginning, Kai had taken a liking to me. I've always been good at following rules to a tee with little to no hesitation. So naturally, I became one of Kai's favorites. When the role of his devoted girlfriend was first assigned to me, I assumed it was just that- a role to play- just another tactic to sway the voters in favor of him. I mean, who doesn't love a candidate with family-oriented values? it would be a way to humanize him and soften his image to the public. and who better to play the part than the one woman who had been willing to walk to the end of the world for him since the very get-go? Over time, I realized our relationship was more than just a facet of his public persona. I genuinely cared about him- and in his way, he felt the same. He would ask something of me, and I would do it. Never once since joining the cause did I feel threatened by him. Until now. 

I woke up confused, not remembering having laid down in the first place. As my vision cleared, I recognized the basement, dimly lit and empty. The grogginess I had originally woken up to started to fade as I looked down to find I had been completely tied down in the chair I was seated in. That's when I reminded myself of the previous 'mission' I had gone on with the rest of FIT where we had to retreat early to avoid getting caught after I had been the one to draw too much attention to the group. 

Fuck. Kai wasn't anywhere in sight, but I could feel his presence. I had been by his side since day one and I knew all too well how this would end. The sound of his footsteps broke the silence in the room, followed closely by his voice. 

"Now. What am I going to do with you?" I could feel his hot breath tickling the back of my neck as he leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Divine Ruler. I'm sorry. I really am." I did my best to get out full sentences but every few words I was interrupted by involuntary sniffles. "Good girls don't fail their leaders. I thought you'd learned that by now.." he paused, and I held my breath as I remembered the multiple occasions I had watched others being brutalized for mistakes smaller than the one I had just made. "You know I have to punish you, right? It wouldn't be right for you to get away with screwing up this big." he circled me as I bit my lip, trying to hold back tears and completely unable to respond. "Say something, little lamb." he paused before feigning concern "Aw, are you scared? is that it?" I looked up and nodded my head. "Well, you should be. I'm furious with you. and you know what I'm like when I'm furious at someone." my heart pounded in my chest as I scrambled to find the right words to say- if that was at all possible. "Please Kai-" I stop myself midway through using his name, knowing that will only further my punishment "-Divine Ruler, I'm so sorry I am. you know I would never purposely sabotage you, sir" I say as my lips tremble and hot tears begin to stream down my face. He leans in, impossibly close to me before continuing to speak. "How cute. Look at how much you're crying for me when I haven't even hurt you- yet." "Yet..?" I stutter watching a sadistic grin spread across his face. "That's right, little lamb. I haven't decided how I'm going to punish you yet, but there'll be a punishment, I can assure you that much." Another moment of silence as I try and think of some sort of response- to no avail, of course. "Perhaps it's time I really whipped you into shape, little lamb. Maybe then you'll learn how to behave properly like a good little girl would." His tone is cruel and sharp enough to cut glass. I inhaled deeply "Please- Divine Ruler don't you think there isn't any need for that" I looked up at him with doe eyes "I've never failed you before sir it won't happen again- don't I deserve to be let off with a warning" Normally, talking to Kai like this would be a sure-fire way to end up being thrown in a ditch- but I knew deep down he'd be somewhat more lenient with me than the others, considering our relationship. "Oh, you think you deserve to be let off with a warning? Why's that? Because you're my special little lamb, and you've been a good girl up until now?" he pauses with a light chuckle to himself "Well, I'm in a bad mood now, Y/N, so I don't really care what you deserve. I want to punish you, and no amount of pleading and weeping is going to change my mind." he said, with eyes as cold as ice and words as harsh as nails. "I've been such a good girl" I plead with both my tone as well as my eyes "Please baby, I love you" the second sentence I speak in a whisper, knowing Kai would either react extremely negatively to me calling him baby or extremely positively, but no in between. 

To anyone else, it would seem as if he did not react- but I could see his face soften as he soaked in my pleas. He would never admit it, but he liked it when I called him baby. And he liked it even more when I was begging and at his mercy. 

"Baby" my voice quivers as I look up at the man I adore- as well as fear. Kai's expression softens some more, and the cruelty in his eyes has almost completely faded.

"Again."

I take a deep breath of air and try my best to smile sweetly through the tears "Baby, every single thing I do is for you. for us. please" I watch as Kai's breathing becomes heavier. his mouth curls up into an almost predatory smile as he hears my words. "That was perfect," he says, caressing my cheek. I lean into his touch as his thumb circles over my cheekbone. His gaze remains locked on mine, filled with something seeming more like affection than hatred. He continues in a gentler tone "You are my good girl, aren't you?" 

"Of course I am. I would do anything for you." I watch as his grin returns, less sinister and a lot more warm. As fucked up and unhealthy as it was, there isn't anything that turns Kai on more than devotion. 

"Anything?"  

"Anything."

"Good girl," Kai says sweetly as if he had completely forgotten about his earlier anger

"You know what I want from you now, don't you, my little lamb?" I bite my lip, mascara stains my face "Just say the word, and I'll do whatever you want" "Hm... I could still punish you, couldn't I? You failed me when I needed you most.... you've got to atone for that somehow, don't you?" my stomach flips as he leans in even closer to me. "But... maybe I can forgive this time. I am feeling particularly generous today, after all. I've got a better idea."

"Thank you, divine ruler. you really are good to me. please tell me, what idea are you talking about sir" I ask in my softest tone, letting Kai take the rails. "Don't play dumb with me, sweetheart... you know very well what I'm talking about." he draws his hand even lower, moving it up my thigh, slowly inching upward. I throw my head back and hiss slightly as his hand trails up my thigh, a shock of pleasure courses through my body at the small contact he makes. "I'll do whatever you want. I live to serve you. Just please- untie me from the chair, baby" Kai takes a moment to think to himself before he begins unties to me. As the bonds are undone, I can feel the blood rush to my limbs once more, relief washing over me after what seemed like an eternity of suffering.

 "Good girl. Now... get on your knees."

Feel free to give me constructive criticism! I am also thinking of starting a taglist so let me know if you want to be tagged in part two/future fics. Thanks!

[animeniacss]

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 5 - Dinner Plans

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: approx. 5.3k words

Chapter 5 - Dinner Plans

        As classes let out for the night, you were relieved to be heading home. Seeing Mingyu had exhausted you more than you thought, and hearing him talk about the fun that he had on his trip only made you feel worse. You needed some space from him for the night, to think over all of the emotions swimming in your brain. You stepped out of your last class of the day, the sun already beginning to set over Seoul. “Maybe I can get Jeonghan to cook again.” You muttered.

           "Don't push your luck." You heard a voice, and when you looked over, you saw Jeonghan at your side, linking your arm to his. Without a word, you felt your other arm being snaked around, and you looked to see Joshua. “I’m exhausted.”

           “I didn’t even know angels got sleepy like that.” You said. Jeonghan nodded, a sleepy look already starting to form on his face as you chuckled. “Whatever, fine. I might have some leftovers. Just take me home.”

           As the three of you walked out, you were stopped by the sound of your name being called. When you looked towards it, you saw Hoshi hurrying over to you. It seemed he was with Minnie, Seungkwan, and Mingyu, and you felt a small hint of dread tickle the pit of your stomach. Hoshi smiled as he finally reached you.

           “We were waiting! Do you guys want to come to karaoke?!”

           “Karaoke?” Joshua asked.

           “Yeah! We were just talking about how it’s been a while. With Mingyu back, we’re all together again and we can go.”

           “Uh, well-.” You began to stammer. “I was feeling a bit tired.”

           “Mingyu wants you to come.” He smiled, knowing that comment alone would work to convince you. Turning your head, you saw Mingyu catch your gaze. Even from a distance, you could see him smile and wave to you. “Please. Only for a few songs, and then you can leave.” You couldn’t help but smile.

           “Fine.” You said. Hoshi pumped his fists in childlike glee, and before you knew it, Mingyu and the others were headed your way. As they approached, you shimmed out of Joshua and Jeonghan’s grasp, hearing them playfully complain.

           “Hey. You’re coming?” Mingyu asked. The genuine happiness on his face made you unable to hold back a bit of excitement. Karaoke, despite everything, did feel nice. Besides, there was no reason for you to be upset. Mingyu was back, woman was not on his arm, which was what you wanted.

           “For a little bit.”

           “I said we should stop and get something to eat first,” Minnie said. “I’m starving.”

           As Mingyu watched you listen to the plan set so perfectly by Minnie and Seungkwan – kind of, it was mainly Seungkwan – he saw your smile slowly drop. He saw you rub your arm, grab your bag, anything to make your hands look busy. It didn’t take a genius to notice something was bothering you. As the group began walking away, Mingyu instead approached you once again. “Are you okay?” He asked. You felt him put his hand on your forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”

           That feeling must not have lasted long, because you felt your cheeks burning as if someone was turning on an oven low up to high in a matter of seconds. “I’m fine.” You assured. “Just been a long day. Maybe I need to eat.”

           “Ah.” Just then, feeling two people looking in their direction, he turned his head to see Joshua and Jeonghan suddenly at your sides. He frowned a bit. “You guys are coming to, I guess?” He sounded displeased. You looked between the two men at your sides.

           They simply responded by looping their arms once again with yours, smiling up at the taller man before them. You couldn’t help but hold back a chuckle. Mingyu’s frown only deepened a bit.

           “Of course,” Joshua said. “We’re going to sing a duet.” You felt Joshua squeeze your arm. The matter-of-fact nature of his statement not only shocked Mingyu but you as well.

           “You wish,” Jeonghan said, peering over your shoulder. “You sound like a dying rat.”

           “Oh, and your voice is so angelic,” Joshua said. You groaned as the two continued to bicker, simply walking past Mingyu and towards your friends up ahead.

           “Hey.” Mingyu gasped turning towards them. However, he was blocked out by the duo continuing whatever it was they were bickering over. You kept looking from side to side, trying to get them to knock it off. Mingyu called your name as well, but when you were too distracted to respond, Mingyu quickly hurried after you guys, staying close behind to act as a monitor of the situation.

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           The karaoke bar was pretty busy for a Tuesday night. It was filled with high school students, relaxing after a long 14-hour study session, drunk businessmen and women trying to find something enjoyable in their daily routine, and now you guys. Seungkwan and Hoshi hurried into the dim room, only lit up by neon strip lights around the walls and colorful LED lights posted by the doors and lyrics screen. They wasted no time playfully arguing over who got to choose the first song. You looked around, seeing microphones lining the little square table, and an L-shaped plush couch resting up against the wall. The giant flat screen TV was turned on, the logo of the company on at the moment while the first song was decided. You simply took a seat, watching as Joshua and Jeonghan plopped down beside you. They wasted no time pulling out the menu of songs. They huddled together like two little boys reading something they knew they should not be, whispering to one another behind the laminated menu. On your other side, the couch shifted and you saw Mingyu sitting on the other side of you. He looked over at you, smiling sweetly.

           “I was thinking of ordering some snacks for the room for all of us. What do you want to eat? You get the first pick.” You watched him hand you one of the food menus. As you opened it and scanned it, you felt the seat move once again, and you glanced to see he that relaxed fully.

           Fully.

           You noticed he had unbuttoned the first two buttons on his light blue button-up, running a hand through his hair to loosen up some of the tightly combed pieces from this morning. He crossed one of his legs over the over, the heel of his shoe pointing in your direction. You chewed on your lip as you watched his lower body relax as well, his jeans stretching a bit. He let out a deep sigh, seemingly relieved to be off his feet after the walk over. His arm draped over the couch, fingers just barely resting themselves behind you. He was no longer looking at you, watching as your three friends tried to figure out how to use all three of their shared brain cells to determine a fair order as well as get the machine to work. When you saw Mingyu smile in the dark, you had to avoid your eyes. For your sanity.

           Your eyes darted down to his bag, which sat half-open on his side. You peeked inside, wondering if your eyes would spot something. When there was nothing but books and study materials to be seen, you felt blood trickle inside your mouth, and you had to release the inside of your cheek from the tight grip between your teeth. Stop it. You thought to yourself. Setting the menu down seemed to alert Mingyu’s attention, but you only smiled.

           “I think the popcorn and pretzel bundle sounds good. I’m still full after grabbing food.” Mingyu nodded, before taking the menu to look at himself. You glanced at the door, before quickly standing up. “I’ll be right back…” You said softly, before exiting the room.

           “Okay.” He watched you walk out, closing the door gently behind you. Mingyu rested back in his seat, holding the menu himself to read the options. When he looked over to his left, he saw Joshua and Jeonghan were already out of the room as well. He blinked, having to do a double-take to make sure he wasn’t just crazy.

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           You walked outside the karaoke bar, allowing the cool night air to tickle your body. A deep exhale escaped your lips and you ran a hand through your hair. You took another deep breath. Then another. Then another. Before you knew it, you were pacing outside the short strip of the karaoke bar, hands moving from your hair to your hips and then to gripping the hem of your shirt. Stop it. You thought to yourself. Don’t be upset. You can’t be upset.

           As you turned your heel for another round of pacing, you were surprised – kind of, this was becoming common – to see Jeonghan approach you. He put his hands on your shoulders, stopping you in your tracks. Joshua was approaching as well, occasionally looking to see if anyone was coming to find them from the room. Jeonghan didn’t seem to say anything, simply pulling you into a little, yet comforting hug. Confusion only hit you for a moment, unsure of how you should react to the kind gesture.

           Finally, you muttered: “I’m fine.”

           “Lying is a sin in some cultures you know.” You heard Jeonghan chuckle a bit at his comment. “You can’t tell me you’re just tired, either. I know tired.”

           “I’m fine.” You repeated, pulling yourself away just a bit to look at him. “What do I have to be upset about?”          

           “You tell us,” Jeonghan said simply. “It’s kind of our job right now to help.”

           “We can’t do that if you don’t talk to us,” Joshua added.

           “What is there to say?” you asked, shrugging. “I have nothing to be upset about.”

           “Not even Mingyu’s little gift?” Jeonghan asked. “You’ve looked upset ever since then…” When he saw you look down at your feet, he hummed. “Aaah, I knew it.”

           “Even if that were true, I can’t be upset. I did not ask him for a gift. I have no reason to expect a gift every time Mingyu goes on vacation. He’s not my boyfriend, after all. I got my own hopes up for no reason. I have no right to be selfish and then get upset over it.” You said simply. “So, I’m fine. I will be fine. Drop it.”

           “You’re allowed to still be upset,” Joshua said softly, almost gently. You shook your head. “If you said he always buys you something, of course, you’d think he’d-.”

           “I said drop it,” you repeated. “I came out here for fresh air, and that’s it. Okay?” You rubbed your eye quickly, feeling an intense pressure forming behind your eyes and deep within your throat. “I don’t want to start anything right now.”

           “But-.” Before either Jeonghan or Joshua could say anything more, the door to the karaoke bar opened and you all looked over. Mingyu was standing there, obviously a bit worried about where you disappeared. When he saw the three of you close to one another, Jeonghan still practically holding you in his arms, he frowned.

           “What are you doing?” he asked. Jeonghan looked at Joshua, both nodding in silent agreement.

           They turned to Mingyu as he approached. “What does it look like? We’re professing our undying love.” Joshua said, complete seriousness in his voice.

           “A bit of privacy, please?” Jeonghan requested. You covered your mouth, unable to hide a small laugh. How were the two of them able to be so angelic and gentle, yet so mischievous at the flip of a coin?

           “We’re in the middle of the street.” You pointed it out. You watched as Mingyu walked over, gently reaching out and taking your hand. When he got a good look at you, he saw a glimpse of what seemed to be redness in your eyes and a wet spot under your eye. He wasted no time wiping it away.

           “If you two are going to keep being a bother to her, then go home.” He said simply. You looked at the duo, who seemed completely unfazed.

           “What’s wrong?” Jeonghan asked curiously. He clasped his hands together, eyes sparkling in pure innocence as he came to a realization: “Oh, we misread? We heard the rumors. Are you two dating?”

           Mingyu stopped at that question, his face heating up. You saw his frown remain, eyes narrowing in annoyed frustration. You waited quietly for a response from him. Joshua took the silence to add another comment.

           “Oh, are you not? Then you shouldn’t involve yourself in her personal affairs, Kim Mingyu.” Joshua smiled a bit.

           “Why you-.” Mingyu was about to step forward; a knight wanting to defend the honor of the maiden. However, you held him back by gripping his wrist.

           “Let’s just go inside. Seungkwan will kill us if we miss his entire one-man show.” With a deep sigh, Mingyu seemed to exhale all of the jealous anger coursing through his body.

           “Fine. Let’s go.” He said. Turning around, he carefully led you back inside, leaving Joshua and Jeonghan to stand alone in the street. Jeonghan took this time to let out a long breath.

           “Jeez, this is starting to feel like a mess.” He said.

           “We need to find out who the heck has that key chain,” Joshua said. “I genuinely don’t think I can handle seeing her cry about it…”

           “That’s the angel in you talking,” Jeonghan said. He started back into the karaoke bar, and Joshua nodded a bit.

           “Yeah…” he said, before quickly following her inside.

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           Back inside, Mingyu stopped you from continuing into the main room, turning to look at you. You were still rubbing your eyes and your cheeks. When you saw how concerned he was, you smiled.

           “It’s just a bit cold outside.” You said. “Even though it’s almost summer, the winds are a bit-.”            

           “Are you okay?” he asked curiously. Your amused smile fell into an uncomfortable frown. “You’ve been weird since this morning.”

           First, it was Joshua and Jeonghan, then Mingyu. Am I that easy to read? You thought to yourself. “I’m fine.” You said, ready to repeat what you said outside to the angels that were holding onto you. “I’m just feeling more tired than usual today.”

           Mingyu didn’t believe you. Not because you might have something to hide, but he could just tell. He could tell your tired face, and this was not your tired face. As the front door to the karaoke bar opened, you both heard Joshua and Jeonghan making their way inside. Mingyu frowned.

           “Also, how on earth did you get tasked with showing those two around? They didn’t force you or anything, right? Intimidate you?” you held back an amused chuckle.

           “No, no. Despite how they like to act, they’re good people.” You assured. “You should get to know them more. Try trusting them. They’ve been nothing but nice to me, if not a bit obnoxious. But look who I hang out with.”

           “I feel like that’s a dig to me.” Mingyu pouted.

           “You? Never.” Your sarcastic delivery of the comment made him laugh a bit more.

           “Seungkwan.” The two of you said in unison, before laughing again. After the moment faded, Mingyu looked down at you, glad to see content and a calmed smile on your face after a full day of looking distressed and distant.

           “Hey.” He began. “I was just wondering if you knew where you wanted to.”

           “You’re not inside yet?” Mingyu looked up and saw the men at your side like they had been all day. A twitch threatened to pop into his eyes. Why were these two suddenly popping up in the middle of everything at the worst times? Mingyu stopped himself from saying that out loud with a deep sigh.

           “Let’s just go inside.” You nodded, and the group of you continued into the room. The minute Mingyu opened the door, a loud belting came from inside.

           GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY, BABY!

           “Oh my-.” You held back a chuckle, walking in as Hoshi hopped up from his spot on the couch. He immediately handed all of you some light sticks.

           “There you are!” he said. “I’m up next!” before immediately cheering and chanting with a very energetic Seungkwan. You took a seat by Minnie, who rhythmically bobbed her little flashing lights to the music, a small smile on her face as she did so. When you looked over at the three boys, wondering who would sit on your open side, Mingyu seemingly wasted no time. You smiled at him as he nestled himself in the seat, Joshua and Jeonghan happy to sit by the eager cheerleader that was Hoshi. It wasn’t long before the group of you began cheering as Seungkwan finished his song and dance routine.

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           “Sing with us!” Joshua begged, reaching his hand down to you.

           “I really don’t want to sing.” You said.

           “Come on, go sing!” Minnie encouraged. She practically pushed you to your feet and into the grasp of Joshua and Jeonghan, both of whom – for angels at least – had pretty mischievous grins plastered on their faces.

           “Don’t look at me that way.” You pleaded.

           “Just one. I can do one, and it won’t be fun without you.” Jeonghan passed you a microphone.

           “What song are we singing?”

           “Catallena by Orange Caramel,” Joshua said as he typed the song in. When he saw your confused face, he motioned to Seungkwan. “He suggested it.”

           “You’re welcome!” Your friends shouted from behind you. You heard the trot-like beat of the song come up, along with the music video on the screen. Your microphone vibrated, signaling you to sing as the second person in the trio.  

           “I cannot believe this.” You sighed to yourself. You looked at Joshua, who took the first verse of the song. Despite his actions, he was the calmer of the two boys. How would he handle singing an upbeat quirky song like this?

           When he belted out the first dramatic shout-like gasp in an overly dramatic fashion, all the while still having a completely serious face on, you had to hold onto Jeonghan’s hand to keep steady as the entire room roared into laughter.

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           As the night ticked on, everyone knew it was time to head home in fear that if they did not, none of them would be able to handle waking up early the next morning for school. Mingyu watched as you pointed in the direction of your own house to the group.

           “Do you want me to take you home?” he asked. You looked over. “My driver’s coming to get me since it’s late.”

           “Oh, uh-.” Joshua and Jeonghan caught your hesitation.

           “We already offered when we were professing our love tonight.” Jeonghan immediately said. “Sorry, Mingyu.” Joshua nodded.

           “Professing your what?” Seungkwan asked, just as visibly confused as Minnie and Hoshi.

           Mingyu sighed, trying to remember what you said a while back inside the karaoke bar: You should get to know them more.

           “Okay.” Mingyu sighed. “Get home safe, okay?” You nodded.

           “I will. You guys too.” With a wave and a cluster of warm goodbyes, Seungkwan and Minnie started down their own path, while Mingyu stood patiently by the street, hands in his pockets as he rocked on the heels of his feet. Hoshi, ever diligent, popped beside Mingyu and offered to hang around until his ride got there, not wanting to leave the younger member out in the dark alone, no matter how much Mingyu assured he would be just fine.

           As the three of you started on your way, you put your hands in your pockets and tilted your head up to the night sky. Your eyes examined the constellations and the stars around them glittering above your head. “Should I have driven home with him?” You asked, looking over at the men at your side.

           “Did you want to?” Jeonghan asked. “You looked hesitant.”

           “I don’t know.” You said. “I did. But I was worried if we were alone, it would be awkward. I shouldn’t feel awkward, but I can’t help it.”

           “There’s always next time,” Joshua said simply. “Besides, if you’re awkward and uncomfortable, then where’s the fun in that?”

           “I guess.” You said. You glanced over to them again as they continued to walk. “What did you guys see him doing when you went to Japan?”

           The out-of-the-blue question led both men to fall uncharacteristically silent, eyes straight ahead as they continued to walk. “Hm? You said you saw him shopping.”

           “We did.”

           “What did he buy?” 

           “Not sure,” Jeonghan said simply.

           “…Lying is a sin in some cultures.” You said, and Jeonghan mentally smacked himself as the words were thrown right back at him. “I won’t be upset. I already told you. Just tell me.”

           “We saw him buying some key chain, but we don’t know who he was buying it for. He never used names or gave specifics.” Joshua said simply.

           “Besides, we only saw him in one store. The rest of the time he went clothes shopping and then we left when he hung out with his friends. Just like he said.” Jeonghan assured.

           For some reason, that didn’t make you feel any better. In fact, the new uncertainty bubbling up in your stomach made you feel worse. If you asked Mingyu for more detail, you worried you would come off as a jealous girlfriend without actually holding that title in reality. What would happen then? You could only nod your head as you fixed the strap of your bag.

           “Okay.” You said. A small, reassured smile formed on your face as you walked ahead of Joshua and Jeonghan. “At least we still have to make dinner plans….”

           It’s a good thing you walked in front of them because the looks of relief that washed over their faces were too obvious to not be seen.

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           “Where do you want to go for dinner?” Mingyu asked, looking at you as you settled beside him in Literature class. You looked over at Joshua and Jeonghan, who found their seats nearby, but a few rows up. They were surrounded by people still trying to get to know them, so you were very pleased not to have to sit with them again today to overhear it all. However, knowing that meant you’d be sitting by Mingyu made you feel nervous in ways you had never felt in this situation before. Trying to respond to the question, you leaned back in your seat and shrugged.

           “Chicken?” you asked. “Like always?”                

           Mingyu looked affected, and you smiled a bit. “Like always? You act like I never take you to nice places.”            

           “I like chicken.” You said simply.

           “Oh, come on.” Mingyu smiled, resting his hand on the desk and using it as a cushion for his cheek as he looked at you. The look he gave you made your anxiety wash away at that moment.

           “You said I could pick.”

           “Sure. You can pick from one of my very nice choices.” He grinned playfully, and you felt defeated at the sight.

           “Well, since you seem to have an idea, let’s hear it,” you said simply.

           “There’s a delicious new Italian restaurant that opened in Ilsan. I haven’t been yet, but a friend of mine says they have some of the best pasta around. It’s really fancy too.”

           “Fancy?” you asked. “I don’t have anything fancy.”

           “Minnie told me you two had plans to go shopping.” You watched Mingyu dig into his back pocket and pull out his wallet. Flipping it open, he handed you a credit card. Your eyes widened. “Buy something.”

           His matter-of-fact nature made your entire face explode, and you looked away. “Mingyu, I can’t take your money. I can afford something just fine.”

Mingyu smiled, only pushing the card closer to you. Finally, he set it on top of your textbook. “Let Minnie buy something too. Both of you get lunch and do whatever. It’s my gift to you.”

           For some reason the word gift made your heart string pull in your chest like a puppeteer holding a broken marionette doll. You looked down at the card, taking it into your hands. Mingyu immediately put his wallet back into his pocket and turned back to his book, flipping it open to the page you guys were going to focus on in class that day. A moment passed of you trying to decide whether or not to act on Mingyu’s whims, as it seemed he wanted you to. However, you finally pressed the card into his side, alerting his attention back to you.

           “I can’t. Gifts like this feel hard to accept….”

           As Mingyu took the card, uttering an apology before putting it away, you turned quietly back to your book, flipping it open and focusing all of your attention on reading it. A few rows behind you, however, Joshua and Jeonghan shared a glance, momentarily ignoring the people asking them questions around them. As class began to start, they sat back in their seats and tried to decide what they could do next.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           “You said no?!” Minnie shouted from your side. You saw your friend frown as she tied up her hair into a bun and put the college’s café visor on. You did so as well.

           “I felt weird accepting it. He just gave me a card with no expectation of what to spend.”

           “I wish someone did that for me!” She gasped. “What is wrong with you recently?”

           You frowned. “I just didn’t want him to feel like he had to do that for me. He doesn’t owe me anything…” Minnie frowned.

           “You do know that man practically worships the ground you walk on, right?” You sighed.

           “He’s just being nice. He’s like that with everyone.”

           “Then why didn’t I get the card if he knew we were going shopping together through me way before he mentioned it to you?” She asked. You fell silent. “Exactly.” She said. “Did you at least finalize your plans for dinner?”

           “Yeah. He said he wanted to go to a fancy Italian place in Ilsan that just opened. We agreed to go Friday night since we finish class early.”

           “So, we have to go shopping to find you a stunning dress to make him fall even more in love with you! Dresses of that nature are really expensive.”

           “I’ll be just fine.” You said once again. Your friendly bickering was interrupted by a voice behind you. When you turned, it was Seungkwan calling your name, hands on his hips as he approached.

           “Ready to go?” he asked. You both nodded and got yourselves ready for the upcoming rush. “Don’t burn yourself again, please.” You could only laugh a bit at his playful comment.

           “Seungkwan-.” Minnie began. “If the person you loved gave you a card to spend on something nice with no expectation of price limit, would you turn it down?”

           “If I was a fucking idiot.” Seungkwan said simply. You hung your head and let out a groan of frustration. “Oh. Sorry.” He said, patting you on the shoulder as Minnie snickered a bit.

           As the rush of students poured in, ready for something to eat, you all got right to work. Seungkwan and you were serving food and greeting as Minnie rang them up. You were just passing a meal over the counter when two pretty faces popped in front of you. You sighed.

           “Yes?” you hummed.

           “Aw, you don’t look excited to see us.” Jeonghan frowned.

           “I’m kind of busy.” You mentioned.

           “Perfect. Then we’ll have-.” As Joshua began rattling off his orders, you couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking your head. Collecting their order into boxes, you passed it over. Without any other conversation, they slid through the line and went to Minnie to pay. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Joshua and Jeonghan pass one of the boxes to Minnie, before pointing in your direction.

           “What are you doing?” you asked curiously.

           “Well, Mingyu said after class he couldn’t come here. Something about an important phone call he had to return.” Joshua began. “So, we bought you lunch.”

           “It was Joshua’s idea.” The brunette angel grew flustered at being thrown under the bus. You saw Minnie slide the carton over to you, before looking up at them again. You smiled a bit, nodding your head.

           “Thanks.” You said. “Will you be here when I’m done?”

           “Probably,” Jeonghan said. Just like that, the duo found a spot to sit down and begin eating. You looked down at the carton, feeling the warmth radiate onto your hand and your stomach rumble, eager for the meal you did not realize you almost missed. Setting it to the side, you continued with your shift, a smile once again forming on your face.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

           Meanwhile, back in the law and politics building, Mingyu was pacing the empty hallway. The sun was already starting to go down, and he knew you were halfway into your shift by now. He watched Joshua and Jeonghan hurry out of the room, Joshua turning towards him and calling out before they disappeared.

           We’ll make sure she eats.

           Mingyu crossed his arms, the ringing of his phone in his left ear coursing through his entire brain. He had no idea what conversation was waiting on the other line. Finally, he heard:

           “Hello?”

           “What do you want now Dad? I’m busy.”

           “I just heard back from Mr. Myoui.” Mingyu frowned but said nothing as his father continued. “You turned her down before the drinks were delivered!”

           “I told you I would! You didn’t believe me.”

           “Mr. Myoui is very displeased. He was happy with the arrangement. That’s a huge deal!”

           “I’m flattered but I was very polite with her. I told her I was not interested. But I told her we could be friends so business-wise, we can-.”

           “You can’t turn her down and expect her to be ready to do business in a few years! Are you out of your mind?”

           “I don’t care Dad. I’m done with these blind dates! I don’t want to do them anymore.”

           His father was quiet for a second. “…You’re right. You are done with them.” Mingyu sighed. “Because you’re going to make things right with Mr. Myoui and his daughter and fix this!”

           “Dad-.”

           “I’m not arguing about it. I’m your father, you’re taking over my company, you’ll do as I say!”

           “Then I won’t take over the company!”

           “Kim Mingyu!” Mingyu immediately hung up the phone, clutching it tightly in his hands. His eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“Fuck!” He shouted, throwing his phone against the wall. The loud sound of the phone connecting with the wall, the snap of the screen shattering as it fell to the floor, all of it felt quiet when compared to Mingyu’s stressed and ragged breathing. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head as he walked over to it. Kneeling, Mingyu picked up the shattered pieces. He winced, one of them scratching his hand a bit. Looking down, he saw a faint look of blood poking through the skin of his thumb. “Damn it.” He finished collecting the pieces, tossing the shattered glass in a nearby trash can. He stuck his phone, now cracked and shattered, into his bag, and started down the hallway. As he took a second, pressing his thumb to his lips to try to stop the blood with light pressure, he remembered something that made him feel just a little bit better, a little bit calmer.

           He was taking you out to dinner this weekend. And his father couldn’t do anything about it.  

Return to 97/98/99z Master list Return to K-Pop Master list

Next / Previous

[typical-fat-tiger]

how did you figure out u were asexual btw

bear in mind I have severe memory loss so take things with a grain of salt, but for the most part I started thinking about it around 13? 14? I was raised very sheltered, so I wasn't exposed to porn or anything. I don't think I saw a vagina until I was 17 and it was because I was on wikipedia looking up info about beaches. there's 2 parts to this specific event but the big one was that I had no reaction to seeing a naked woman beyond anxiety. (because I know I wasn't allowed to, and I was scared I'd get beaten)

I DID however feel a mix of anxiety and what I could only describe as curiosity when I saw some naked guy in the same photo. it wasn't sexual attraction, I didn't pop a boner or anything, something in the back of my head was tickled but I never figured it out beyond that. the same thing would happen in underwear aisles at walmart. so at this point, I had experienced no definitively sexual feelings. I was not attracted to man nor woman.

around this time, my dad was growing concerned with my exceedingly effeminate behavior (it wasn't me acting girly, it was me being silly. I actually hate being referred to with anything remotely suggesting I'm feminine.) so he would constantly try to get me interested in girls, pointing at young girls in public and talking about them. but that just seemed like weirdo behavior to me because I knew I wasn't interested and I knew he was like 50 years old and talking about young girls, so the whole thing didn't work out for him. it just reinforced the idea that I was asexual.

at some point though, the disapproval got so bad that I thought I'd try to become straight. around this time I played bayonetta and had no reaction to it other than thinking it's a cool game with a bad ass bitch protagonist. occassionally I would look up a picture of boobs or something but reactions shifted between "I feel nothing from this" and "I'm anxious and shouldn't be looking at this" (around this time, I became really self conscious about being male, I had girls treat me differently because I ended up around a lot of man-hating feminists, so compounded with my upbringing I got it in my head that I *really* am not allowed to see girls naked, like it is morally wrong to do so)

well. nothing worked. I was about 16 or 17, I was learning about the LGBTQ community and I decided that since I felt nothing for anyone, I must not see gender. I must be pansexual. so I ran with that, but eventually, I just felt uncomfortable having people think sex is something I'm interested in, or I'm some kind of male who's interested in sex, or that I'm gay (grew up in the homophobic south) that I just went back to asexual

from there I properly educated myself on the asexual spectrum. I learned about aegosexuality which I identified with for a brief peried of time before deciding that I once again didn't have any interest in having sex.

eventually, like 2021 and 2022 I learned that under very specific circumstances (which I have a work-in-progress understanding of) I feel some amount of attraction towards guys, or at the very least masculinity / male bodies. however, this is still such a rare occurrence and sex means so little to me that I still identify as acespec (graysexual, grayaro, whatever it is at this point)

tl;dr what made me realize I was asexual was years of introspection and experimentation, education and just the recurring theme of not wanting to have sex.

even for my smash or pass answers, even for any post I make saying "I need him carnally", the former is theoretical and the latter is hyperbolic. because that's just how I learned how to convey my sexual attractions, as small and as infrequent as they may be.

p.s. I always thought that maybe if I wasn't raised sheltered, I would have ended up not being asexual. I genuinely do think a lack of exposure, a lack of influence towards my sexuality during important formative years, combined with kinds of trauma that make me unable to look at people most of the time, ultimately led me to being asexual. that's probably also what led me to being a furry, because I learned I could look at animals and animal-like creatures without having the instinct to look away out of distrust from trauma

[translations-dark-matter]

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Chapter 100

"Se-hyeon, why are you cursing?"

Shin Tae-oh's gentle voice seemed to be deliberately trying to turn me upside down.

"What are you thinking? Did you purposely want to surprise me?"

I shot back at Shin Tae-oh, using formal speech, informal speech, and swearing.

"I'm not trying to completely crush someone's heart. If it's like this from the beginning, what will happen next...?"

"Se-hyeon."

Shin Tae-oh still had a smiling face. No, his eyes were even squinting.

What's going on? What's making him smile like that this time?

"Will you listen to me for a moment?"

As if indicating that he wouldn't do anything for now, Shin Tae-oh slowly released his hands one by one. As each leg touched the ground, Se-hyeon gradually calmed down.

"What do you think when you see a cake?"

"I think it looks delicious..."

"Exactly. What if you smell something sweet? It's natural to want to eat it, right?"

Strangely enough, I couldn't come up with a rebuttal because his persuasion was convincing.

"I feel the same way. Your pheromones are emitting an irresistibly sweet scent. It's only natural to be drawn to the place with the sweetest fragrance."

"But still, I'm not a cake."

Ignoring the slight rebellion that the smell is irrelevant and the subject is different, Shin Tae-oh smirked.

"You've seen me in that way too, haven't you?"

"When did I?"

"As an appetizer."

With the word uttered by Shin Tae-oh, another thought struck my mind, leaving me unable to refute once again.

"Pretty things are meant to be admired, not eaten. Could it possibly apply here? Will it become a more memorable dish than the main course?"

As I looked at the dish served as an appetizer, Shin Tae-oh's words...

The appetizer is beautiful.

Shin Tae-oh is the appetizer.

Therefore,

Shin Tae-oh is delicious?

I've come to absurd conclusions before, but did I unknowingly see Shin Tae-oh at that time?

"It seems like you've figured out what I'm saying, so there's no need to say more. I'll let it slide that you were salivating when I told you to eat the salmon salad."

Perhaps considering that this explanation is sufficient, Shin Tae-oh lowered his face again. He gently laid Se-hyeon down once more, gripping his waist tightly and awakening Se-hyeon, whose skin had stiffened at the sound of suction and licking.

Only then did Se-hyeon realize that he had fallen for Shin Tae-oh's sophistry, but he couldn't push away Shin Tae-oh's face that was pressed against his body. His body, which seemed to have melted into pheromones, had reached its limits, and the heat was concentrated in an unspeakable place.

"But sometimes I nibble on cakes."

"What?"

Shin Tae-oh raised his head and calmly brought up the topic, while Se-hyeon's eyes widened in astonishment. Nibble on cakes? What does that mean?

"Mmm."

Even in the midst of hesitating to tease, a genuine moan escaped Se-hyeon's lips.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's not that... It tickles, but it doesn't hurt."

"Then, with cakes..."

"Huh? You haven't tried eating a cake with your fingers?"

"Huh?"

I fell for it again.

Shin Tae-oh, without a doubt intentionally doing this, tightened his grip on Se-hyeon's legs that were spread wide with a sly smile on his face.

"Mmm."

As Se-hyeon was tightly held by Shin Tae-oh, his brows furrowed, and his brows were twitching harshly. Sensing that something was wrong, Shin Tae-oh sighed.

"I tried my best to hold back."

So, this is your responsibility, Shin Tae-oh said, straightening his back and releasing his hold on Se-hyeon's waist.

It felt like a stormy night.

Se-hyeon's heat rapidly dissipated, and he firmly planted his feet on the bed. It was an instinctive movement, seeking to push the bed and escape from Shin Tae-oh, a primal urge to find an escape route.

Not yet. I'm not ready yet.

So I tried to refuse, but Shin Tae-oh could not be unaware of my movements. Once again, my ankles were caught, and I was overpowered...

"Uh..."

As if the intense pheromones that were just moments ago considered child's play suddenly poured out all at once.

"What?"

"I can't hold back anymore."

Shin Tae-oh growled like a beast in front of Se-hyeon's eyes, taking deep breaths as his chest rose and fell repeatedly.

The body temperature rose to an eerie extent, and now it felt as if Se-hyeon's body had already merged into one.

In the instinctive sensation unfolding before his eyes, Se-hyeon, in a daze, noticed that Shin Tae-oh took a quick, shallow breath.

"I was afraid of hurting you if I continued to hold back."

Knowing that, I tried my best to endure rationally, but unknowingly, I swallowed dry saliva and pressed my lips with my tongue.

Shin Tae-oh looked down at Se-hyeon's appearance and let out a deep sigh.

Transparent droplets of sweat fell onto his abdomen, glistening. Once again, the pheromones flowed out, and if only he could taste it, Se-hyeon's body continued to tremble with the impulse to get closer and even smell it.

Shin Tae-oh's half-closed eyes, flushed face. From the tension in his muscles to the wafting scent of pheromones, everything about him excited Se-hyeon.

"It's real."

Without any decrease in excitement, rationality blurred. The funny thing was that it was the omega's body that reacted when seeing his.

"Let's do it again."

When Shin Tae-oh roughly ran his hand through his hair, he spoke.

"I won't rush you."

Shin Tae-oh's expression was so serious that Se-hyeon simply watched him, even feeling a slight heaviness in his plump body. Despite that, he groaned instead of completely pulling away like before, determined not to withdraw his body entirely.

"It's not easy."

Shin Tae-oh also looked uneasy at Se-hyeon's expression, still unable to completely overcome his fear.

The pheromones subtly emitted to resist the easy intrusion of an alpha were felt, but it wouldn't work on his rationality.

Contrary to expectations, the omega about to experience it for the first time felt intense possessiveness and excitement. He couldn't predict how his instincts as an alpha would manifest.

"Oh, no."

Whether it was due to that impulse, Se-hyeon couldn't resist and completely turned his body around. He tried to escape before being caught by Shin Tae-oh, but when he saw his face, he stopped all his actions.

Shin Tae-oh didn't grab his ankles like before. And the emotion in his eyes was that of regret.

Could it be...?

"It might hurt."

Shin Tae-oh slowly stood up. Without even trying to hide his excitement, he looked at Se-hyeon and gave a faint smile.

Within his intense gaze, glimpses of the last traces of rationality before instinct took over were seen.

"Se-hyeon isn't a cake."

With that thought in mind, he went into the bathroom, not wanting to hurt him. Soon, the sound of water running and Shin Tae-oh's presence disappeared.

Amidst the vague sounds that could be heard, Se-hyeon breathed heavily, his breaths tinged with various colors, as he stared at the ceiling.

"I won't be able to do this for a lifetime at this rate."

A sigh escaped him due to the frustration of not being able to push himself to inflict pain.

This unfamiliar experience reminded him that it was all a first for him.

First times come with fear. If he wasn't scared now, it would be a lie. That's why he tried to retreat several times, but when he looked at Shin Tae-oh, all that came out was a dry laugh.

As Se-hyeon tried to get up and reached for the bed, he hesitated due to a tingling sensation. Unconsciously moving, he hadn't paid attention to his wrist. After moving quite a bit with Shin Tae-oh, the bandage was hanging loosely, as if it was about to come off.

It hadn't been a day since he was discharged. In that time, he had confessed to Shin Tae-oh, kissed him, and even planned to go all the way to the bed.

"What's twelve months..."

Wasn't this supposed to be something only the two of them experienced?

In about a year from now, the original story would come to an end, so the thought of completely possessing Shin Tae-oh would be meaningless.

"I'd better just forget it."

Going forward, don't even think about the original work, don't get swept away by it, and don't exploit it.

Se-hyeon got up from the bed and opened the bathroom door. He looked at Shin Tae-oh, standing under the pouring stream of water, with surprised eyes.

"Se-hyeon."

"After calling me a cake, did you have someone else to refrigerate me?"

The water splashing on his face was cold.

It felt strangely satisfying, as if the situation had completely reversed from when he had been caught revealing his secret.

Se-hyeon turned off the faucet. When my cycle came, Shin Tae-oh had also turned off the water like this. As the noise disappeared and the sound of water dripping from Shin Tae-oh's body intermittently pushed away the silence, Se-hyeon spoke.

"Now I won't run away. I won't stop you either."

Approaching Shin Tae-oh, he placed his hand on his icy-cold body.

"If you still can't trust me, you can tie me up."

As the end of the bandage slipped down and covered the other wrist, as if binding both wrists together, it confused Shin Tae-oh.

"Let's do it again."

"Se-hyeon."

"After all, the first time has to happen, right?"

Se-hyeon, overcome with frustration, hesitated but was pulled by Shin Tae-oh by the back of his head. In that sudden moment, his mouth involuntarily opened wide, and his tongue revealed the desire he had been trying to suppress.

Their tongues tangled together, emitting a sticky sound that blended strangely with the sound of Shin Tae-oh's footsteps. Se-hyeon embraced him, caressing his shoulders, neck, and back. Even if it meant doing so, he wanted to warm up Shin Tae-oh's chilled body.

He pressed his body closer to him, not allowing even the slightest gap. And wherever his hands couldn't reach, he tried his best to envelop them in pheromones.

"Krk. Se-hyeon."

Shin Tae-oh paused for a moment, accompanied by a rough groan, then resumed walking with each step heavy. Se-hyeon, who had obediently stayed still until Shin Tae-oh reached the bed, finally let him go when his back touched the mattress.

"It's time to have cake, Tae-oh."

He extended both hands toward Shin Tae-oh.

Shin Tae-oh rushed towards him, wearing a bright smile.

Prev / Next

[4lexnilsen]

lengthy fingers massaging the foaming shampoo into her scalp with nothing but tenderness and affection,  trying to help her relax.   chase away all of her worries and fears.   living with a death sentence is such a strange form of torture,  and the only way to survive without much damage to one’s sanity up until the execution day is to take life as it comes at you.   one moment at a time.   he wants to focus on what’s happening here and now,  on making this sweet girl feel loved…   “keep your eyes closed,  okay?   i’m afraid i’m doing too good of a job,”   he laughs because the suds are everywhere now —   running down his forearms,  dripping from his elbows,  piling at their feet,  racing down abi’s back and legs.   he gently touches her temples and silently asks her to tilt her head back some more,  trying to keep her eyes safe as his fingertips continue to rub the shampoo into her dark roots.   

the funny thing is alex has never been a fan of silence,  but this kind is strangely comforting and doesn’t bother him one bit.   he enjoys it,  getting to rinse her hair and apply a generous amount of sweet-smelling conditioner onto the very ends,  doing something so normal for once,  basking in her presence.   the sound of the water running reminds him of a heavy downpour,  the world outside so unimportant right now…   “something special,  hm?”   he echoes with a soft smile,  fingers carding through her long locks,  hesitantly touching her back.   his skin so pale compared to hers.   his palms move over her sides,  tracing each rib,  circling the dimples at the bottom of her spine,  massaging her skin for a moment before settling on her hips.   he drinks up her every word,  nodding his head as his heart does a little backflip.   “that’s so sweet,  abi.   you sure did make me feel very special with that hug.   have i ever told you that it was the first genuinely kind gesture since…   well,  before i got reaped,  basically.”   and it meant the world to him,  made him feel less monstrous.

“i mean,  of course,  david gave me a hug and a kiss,  but he was just a little boy who didn’t even understand what had just happened,  right?   i thought no one who actually watched the games would ever see me as…   a human being,  not a cold-blooded killer with other children’s blood on my hands.”   when she hugged him,  a certain kind of peacefulness washed over him.   he almost broke down there and then,  but by some miracle or perhaps shock,  managed to keep his emotions under control.   “yeah,”   he answers without a second of hesitation,  not caring how it makes him look.   just like a love-struck schoolboy.   “i could barely introduce myself because my heart felt all weird,  pounding so fast,  stealing my breath away.   but i thought you were out of my league.”   he still doesn’t fully understand what she sees in him.   she could do so much better.

“mm,  good.   i love being a fool with you,”   he hums,  pressing his lips to her forehead as she turns around,  his eyes meeting hers.   he finds himself fighting the urge to kiss her again.   properly.   on the lips.   keep kissing her until they’re both out of breath,  sore and swollen and unable to think straight.   “are you sure you should be doing this,  baby?”   he offers instead,  worrying the shampoo might sting her injured palms.   but she doesn’t seem to listen and so to make it easier for her,  he lowers his head,  his neck straining.   “i could crouch down or kneel or something?”   he offers,  deciding to be somewhat annoying or maybe just trying to hear her laugh and tickling her sides.   “oh,  right…   i mean,  i’ve only confessed my love for you about ten thousand times just today,”   he laughs,  playing along,  finding her sense of humor endearing.

Alex’s fingers scrubbed the shampoo into her hair, suds colored pink by the floral scent added to them rolling down her body as they were washed away by the water. She didn’t care much for roses. They were pretty, but too delicate, too finicky, and they reminded her of the Capitol. Still, she’d happily smell roses the rest of her life if it meant she could spend it with Alex, and she supposed in a way she would.

Abilene shut her eyes, basking in the warmth of the water and his body so close to her like a lizard on a rock beneath the sun. Alex’s hands combed through her dark locks with conditioner next, which smelled much the same as the shampoo. She thought back to that first meeting when Alex asked.

Up until last year it was common for new victors on their victory tours to meet the other victors. They were friends, after all, or at least most of them were. Perhaps acquaintances was a better term to describe it - Abilene was known to stretch the title of friend a bit more than others. She remembered him standing there - tall and shy. He wore something blue, because certain shades of blue made his eyes pop and Abilene could see his eyes that day in her mind as though it was happening just then.

She hugged him. She remembered that. The tributes from ten were both young that year, and while Alex had every opportunity to kill them he didn’t. He took care of them. He protected them… until he couldn’t. Abilene would never forget that kindness. Her embrace hadn’t just been from her, but from everyone in Ten. After the children had died a handful of people stormed the peacekeepers and production stopped from an entire day.

Alex’s arms were hesitant and nervous and still thin from recovering from his games, but they wound around her waist that day all the same. She remembered feeling her heart swell, feeling content and safe for just a moment as he stammered out his thanks and blushed. Something had happened during that embrace, something that planted a seed in her chest that flourished with each time she saw him. Was it love at first sight?

“In a way.” She answered honestly. “I didn’t know then that I loved you, or that I would love you… but there was something special about you.” Abilene swallowed and her cheeks flushed. It seemed to be a night for mushy-gushy confessions, wasn’t it? “Was it for you?” She teased back.

Abilene let him wash the conditioner from her hair before she turned back around to face him. “We’re both fools.” She laughed. Her skin was pink from the heat of the water, and from her own blush. She gathered some shampoo in her palm and stretched onto the tips of her toes to reach all of his hair, thin fingers running through each flattened curl before the water would wash it off again.

“Be careful,” she warned, a mischievous smile on her lips. “You keep saying all of these sweet things about me and I might start to think that you love me.” She was teasing him of course, as she knew the depth of her feelings for him and assumed that his heart felt much of the same.

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Monday, 22 May 2023

Okay, let's get this one out of the way upfront since it doesn't go anywhere and every other storyline is actually connected: Nicole and EJ are not getting married. Or, at least, she didn't say yes to his hasty "let's get back at my brother" proposal, anyway.

Nicole calls EJ out for this, and backs up her "you pulled this moment out of your ass" case with the simple, observable fact that he's not even proposing with a ring. I hate being on Nicole's side for any reason, but she's got you there, Elvis.

He admits that this is somewhat true, but also confesses his genuine love to her. She is unable to reciprocate. Which typically would feel like an honest answer, but this is Nicole we're talking about so it's probably a lie built on another lie to hide six more lies. Nicole is like a slum lord who uses lies as the shoddy building material for the house that is her life. Which she then rents to herself.

Meanwhile, Colin is still up on that rooftop, waving a gun and threatening to throw Paulina off to her death. And it occurs to me: Jackée is, in the common parlance, a big beautiful woman. She's easily twice the size of this scrawn-job. So I'm not sure how he thinks he's going to —

Oh. Right. He can just threaten to shoot Chanel if Paulina doesn't jump. That actually makes a lot of sense.

Rafe tends to the rolling pinned Abe. Nothing new has been added to this situation since Friday but I'm still tickled by the idea that the mayor and the police commissioner are having a little lie-down on the floor of a bakery while the women sort all of this out.

Jada questions Sloan for her role in all of this (which is still none — *none role*)  but  is interrupted by a call from Talia, who's still ugly-crying about... [gestures to encompass the entirety of Talia's life since she arrived in Salem].  So Jada rushes off to help her and Sloan takes about eight seconds to work out that her shitty brother has been using Jada's sister as his accomplice.

She shares this information with Trask, who initially came here to do the two things she does best: ignore due process and gloat. And Trask is forced to concede that *okay, maybe Sloan didn't have anything to do with any of this, but when did that ever stop us from locking people up because we just don't like them?* Man, I want to like Trask. She's a fun character, played by a very capable performer. But sometimes this "overzealous DA" shit breaks me out of my soap bubble and harshes my buzz a little.

Jada confers with Talia and the two of them work out that Colin must be on the roof because Jada's a pretty good detective but also because *seriously there's only one hotel in town and he's been going on about rooftop tragedies and justice this entire time and can we just get on with this, please??*

So they head up there and we quickly find ourselves in a standoff: Jada holding a gun on Colin, with Talia flailing and weeping at her side. Colin still holding a gun on Paulina and ranting in Extreme British (eg, "oi, me mum's dead, innit!").

Chanel is also here. I guess.

At the hospital, Abe insists that Rafe find Paulina and then gives himself... I don't know, an aneurism or a stroke or something. And okay, it was a pretty intense line read, but that seems extreme.

Rafe discusses Abe's condition with an Actual New Doctor (Tripp is still out of town and Kayla's not in this one so I guess they had no choice) and she says the mayor will need surgery so can we please get his family to sign off on that? "Yeah, mentioning his family is kinda how we got in this situation in the first place," says Rafe. "Can I just call his son, who's offscreen in Johannesburg?"

Actual New Doctor knows this isn't, strictly speaking, the right way to handle this. But she'd also love to come back for more episodes so she says it's okay.

(Speaking of Quintessential Soap Moments, I bet if you asked ten people to draw what they think a soap opera is, like five of them would come up with something like this.)

And back on the rooftop, Talia charges Colin and they both plummet off the roof in an entirely plausible and completely-true-to-how-basic-physics-work moment.

(God, I'm glad I worked out how to do proper screencaps. I cannot imagine trying to convey this with a glare-filled camera-pointed-at-the-screen image.)

Sloan (whom Trask decided to release after all) and Eric are walking across the plaza with this very hotel in actual view. So I can only assume these two bodies are going to land right in front of them the next time we check back in on this plot.

But I know how this show works, and that probably won't be tomorrow because nothing exciting ever happens on a Wednesday.

EDIT: I have just been informed that, Lemon, today is only Monday. So maybe something will happen after all!

[ghost-proofbaby]

twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)

HOUR FOUR

in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?

→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn

→ warnings: strong language, eventual smut, upside down does not exist, minors dni

→ pairings: modern!college!eddie x college!fem!reader

→ wc: 3.8+

masterlist.

spotify playlist.

◁ previous part, next part▷

4:00 ──ㅇ──────────────── 24:00

BIRDIE created a groupchat. 

BIRDIE added DINGUS, NANCE, JOHNNY, & ARGYLE 😎

DINGUS: why the fuck is my name dingus

BIRDIE: so… are we going to talk about how in love they look in that photo?

NANCE: Eddie looks like he’s going to commit a federal crime, Robin.

DINGUS: how do i change my name

ARGYLE 😎: a sign of true love my friends

BIRDIE: @NANCE SEE? he gets it. 

JOHNNY: Is this chat really necessary? 

DINGUS: guys seriously. how the fuck do i change my name?

—

HOUR FOUR - 7:00 PM

Let the record show that you don’t normally care about Lord of the Rings. You’d seen the movies out of obligation to your friends, nothing more, nothing less. You usually held complete indifference towards the trilogy. As a matter of fact, you’d nearly given Robin an aneurysm the day you’d informed them all you preferred the Hobbit trilogy over the original movies. 

Eddie, it seems, holds a similar sentiment to Robin. 

“I can’t believe you just said that to me,” he sighs dramatically, sinking into the couch and looking far more comfortable than he had previously. A bottle of cheap beer dangles carelessly in his hand. He’d decided to grab both of you one the moment this argument had begun, “You casually bring up Gandalf, and then you proceed to have the worst opinions on the greatest franchise of all time. A crime against humanity.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say sincerely through genuine laughter. 

You were laughing. You were sitting on Eddie Munson’s couch, in his apartment, laughing with him rather than at him. It was a fluke in the system, a blip in the Universe. You tell yourself it’s just the effects of the beer. 

“What’s next? You tell me you prefer Star Wars over Star Trek? Or, let me guess, you’ve never read the books?” 

He looks nice like this, at ease. This hour might be setting the track record for the longest the two of you had gone without insulting one another, and you begin to wonder why you’d never been able to hold such a civil conversation with him before tonight. The two of you might not be agreeing or seeing completely eye to eye, but there was enough agreement to keep the entire debate chugging along. 

He notices your silence as you take a sip of the beer you’ve nearly polished off, smirking around the rim of it, a bit of beer lingering at the corner of your mouth. “Oh my God. You’ve never read the books.” 

“I never said that!”

“You never said you did!”

Your mouth is open, fighting back at the curl of the corners, unable to defend yourself because he was right. “I- Who even reads anymore?” 

“Excuse me?” his voice pitches as he sits up straight suddenly, “Oh, no. There’s no way you just said that. There’s no way you don’t read.” 

You shrug, and his beer is quickly set to the side. 

“C’mon, everyone reads. You’ve got to have a guilty pleasure book.” 

“Nope,” you tuck your bottle between your thighs, and catch the way his eyes had followed the bottle before snapping back to yours, “I just prefer the movies, I guess.” 

“No one prefers the movies. You’re a goddamn liar,” he shakes his head and some of the frizzy curls fall against his collar bones rather than continuing to tickle his shoulders, “You have to read something. Romance novels, boring essays, the news. Hell, even magazines or that written porn shi-” he cuts off when you smile at the mention of magazines. “Why are you smiling like that? Stop it. It’s creepy. Do you read those porno books?”

“God, no,” you laugh. A lie - you’d certainly read excerpts from Fifty Shades of Grey he was referencing to understand what the hype was to no prevail, “Just ironic you bring up magazines. You probably consider yourself a real connoisseur, don’t you?” 

He flushes crimson. His cheeks that had tinged pink from the warmth of the beer are now flaming red. “I have no idea what you mean.”

He clearly did. 

“Right,” you drawl, “So which article in that Playboy caught your eye? The one about the psychological deep dive into what makes sex so great, or the interview with that one porn star? No, wait, I got it! It was totally the one that gave fifteen ways to drive a girl crazy-”

“It’s not a fucking Seventeen magazine,” he snaps, but the malice in his voice is dull, “There’s no lists on how to get the girl, it’s a porn ‘zine, Jesus H. Christ.” 

“I know that, do you?” you press, reveling in the brush crawling its way down the side of his neck. 

He runs a hand over his face, groaning, “I’m not even going to entertain you with an answer. Fuck off.” 

“Do you just ignore all the photos of the beautiful women?” you don’t hold back your teasing, subconsciously leaning his way as your voice lilts with sarcasm, “Ignoring all those bushes? Or maybe you just prefer the Brazilian cut?” 

“I liked it better when we were talking about your illiteracy,” he deadpans, staring straight ahead at his entertainment center. 

“I never said I couldn’t read, just that I choose not to most of the time,” you finally pull back a bit, scared to push it all too far. You pull your legs up beneath you on the couch and move the beer that has gone warm to the table on the opposite end as his, “Sue me for trying to make friendly conversation.” 

You await his expected response about how this was not friendly conversation. You start to do mental gymnastics of a way to bring up the specific model he had marked the pages of, of the eerie resemblance she bears to you and a way to push his buttons regarding it. This conversation was following your script, not his.

Or at least, it was. 

“Fine. I prefer the bush, I always find the lack of hair kind of weird,” he says, throwing you off your game effectively. He stares at you with now expecting eyes, “What about you?”

You’re grateful you’d stopped nursing the beer, or you surely would have choked, “What?” 

“What’s your preference?” he clarifies, not backing down, “On yourself, on partners. Whatever.” 

“I- I don’t- I never-” you stumble over your words, at a complete loss for an answer. It only makes him smirk as he’s now the one leaning in closer, close enough to catch the smell of his cologne concentrated on him. 

You hadn’t realized you’d adjusted the boyish smell of the apartment until this very moment. 

“See? Not so fun when you’re the one getting asked the personal questions.” 

He’s right – you shouldn’t dish out what you can’t handle him throwing back into your face. 

“Fine,” you mimic him, squaring your shoulders, “Bush.”

“On yourself or others?” 

“Myself,” there was no use in being shy now, “But also on, uh, partners. Kind of unfair to expect something from someone I wouldn’t give in return.” 

He nods in surprising consideration at the notion. His face twists as if he’s taking words you’d thrown out there so carelessly to heart, as if there’s some hidden message that even you hadn’t realized was laced in the notion. For a moment, you start to believe he’s committing the words to memory before he answers you. 

“That’s fair,” is all he says. 

A moment of intense thought for that?

“What? That’s all you’ve got to say?” you scoff, and busy yourself with the beer again out of nerves. It’s warm and bitter on your tongue, but it’s better than looking him in the eyes. Warm, honey eyes you’d never really cared to notice before.

“Yeah,” he lifts his shoulders into an offhand shrug, “I mean, what else is there to say? Like you said, you can’t expect something from someone you can’t return.” 

Another silence drags out, and this time, it’s stifling. You never thought you’d live to see the day where Eddie being quiet would bother you, but it does. The lack of words in the air is leaving too much room for thought from both of you. It’s giving you too much time to think on those warm, honey eyes and those damn dimples. Trivial things about Eddie that you don’t care to remember past tonight. 

“My friend collects vintage Playboys,” you blurt out, internally cursing yourself immediately. What a stupid conversation segway. 

Should have teased him about the dog-eared pages, you regretfully think as you dare to look his way. 

His face is surprisingly smooth, eyebrows quirking up into the frayed edges of his bangs, “Oh really?”

You nod, “Yeah. Hell of a lot more bushes in the seventies.” 

A lot less of that model you like, you silently add, once more not voicing that concern out loud.

The dimples return. Those fucking dimples. “Hm, guess I should check them out, then.” 

“She collects them for aesthetic purposes,” you continue to ramble, filling the air, unsure of why you’re even defending yourself. You’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Eddie to dissect the small piece of your life you’ve offered, “It’s… It’s really cool, actually.”  

“It sounds cool,” he agrees gently. 

The other shoe is left dangling in the air, if it even continues to exist. 

You think about his earlier question, of whether you really wanted to keep up a miserable act for the entire twenty four hours. If the last hour hadn’t already solidified your answer, you knew now for a matter of fact that he had a point, even if he did proceed to insult you after the question. You didn’t want to spend this time miserable. The passing of time came easier when it was like this, all rounded-edged banter and friendly words exchanged. When Eddie Munson wasn’t being an asshole and making personal digs at you, he was actually a nice person to have around. 

You’d never tell him that, of course.

“It’s why I collect all that,” he motions his hand towards the shelving of figurines and trinkets, “I just think it’s cool, you know? I… Uh, I sort of lied earlier. Most of that shit isn’t that expensive. But it’s not about how much it’s worth money-wise, it’s just worth a lot to… to me.” 

A glimpse of crimson, a flash of vulnerability that proves that Eddie has a heart just as you do. It beats erratically, and it can bleed just the same. 

“That makes sense,” you offer in response. You may not get it, but you wouldn’t push his buttons on the topic. They may be nothing but clutter from your perspective, but the same could be said about the vintage Playboys your friend collects. The same could be said about plenty of things that are sentimental to you. “Doesn’t it get creepy, though? Like, you bring home a girl-”

“Or a guy,” he interjects, making you smile. 

“You bring home a girl, or a guy, and you’ve just got Gandalf staring you down while you make a move. Or… Or, Darth Vader?” you squint to pinpoint another figurine, “Is that Darth Vader? Didn’t you say Star Trek is better than Star Wars?” 

“Never said that,” he points at you with a tilt of his head, “I just don’t prefer Star Wars over Star Trek.”

“Have you seen Star Wars? It’s way more entertaining.” 

“Have you seen Star Trek?” he counters, but it’s clearly rhetorical as he continues on, “I like both. Having a preference for one doesn’t mean I’m completely against the other. Besides, the light saber effects are fucking incredible.” 

“So you prefer the prequels?” you ask eagerly. 

“I guess. I mean, the original trilogy is still badass and a classic,” he stands abruptly, and you’re worried you’ve said something wrong, but he just walks over to the Darth Vader figurine to pick it up and bring it back over with him as he flings down onto the couch, now several spaces closer to you rather than opposing ends, “It’s kind of hard to beat the ‘Luke, I am your father’ reveal,” his voice dips down to a deep tone, a fairly spot on impersonation, “But it was also nice seeing his origin story.” 

“Plus Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen are gorgeous,” you add, almost daring to lean over and bump shoulders with him. But you don’t. You keep what little space remains between the two of you. 

“Of course,” Eddie rolls his eyes, “The eye candy is what gets you.” 

“And the cool effects!”

“Right. Next you’re going to say you definitely watched for the plot, huh?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“And the plot’s name just happens to be Ewan.” 

You bite down the grin that starts to ache your cheeks, because you’re not supposed to smile around Eddie this much. “Now you’re getting it.” 

The hand holding the Darth Vader figurine suddenly thrusts out in your direction, and you find yourself jumping a bit. When you don’t take it, he waves it around a bit, raising an eyebrow, “It doesn’t bite, you know.” 

“You said to not touch your shit.”

It’s a pathetic lie, you both know it. But he doesn’t know how scared you are to brush fingertips with him, how the way his arm being so close has electricity buzzing from the soles of your feet to the crown of your head. One small shift, one outreached hand, and your skin would brush his. 

It would surely be nuclear. An explosion with no survivors, least of all you. 

“Oh, c’mon. You’ve disregarded that rule the entire time, why start being a goody two shoes now?” he teases. 

Which is fine, except Eddie teases a certain way – with his entire body. His knee knocks into yours, he leans into your space, a boyish grin spreads over his lips. You’ve seen him dance around this kind of lighthearted conversation with everyone else in your friend group except you. It’s uncharted territory, and your heart nearly breaks out of your chest from its rapid racing.

You’re just lucky that there’s two layers of jeans between your knees. The nuclear explosion will have to wait for another day.

Instead of an answer, you reach out and grab the figurine nimbly by the small leg. Your fingertips narrowly evade Eddie’s and you’re eternally grateful and his arm retracts. You poke and prod, gently wiggling the red, flexible stick that serves as his lightsaber and pinch at the edges of his cape. 

In your silence, Eddie speaks, “It’s not a crazy collectible or anything, like I said. It probably would have been more valuable to keep it in its packaging, but one time Wheeler brought his little sister over while they were in town, and she wanted to see him out of the box, so I took him out. You know Wheeler, right?” 

You shake your head, inspecting the figurine even closer now. It still looks brand new; you’d never be able to tell that a child, presumably, had played with the ‘toy’. 

“Oh,” Eddie looks taken back, faltering slightly, “Sorry, I- I just sort of assumed that…. You, uh…. You had met Steve’s children.” 

“Oh!” your head shoots up from where your nose had been nearly pressed into the figure, taking in the detailing of the chest piece, “You mean Mike? I’ve heard about him, yeah. Just in passing, though.”

There’s more for Eddie to say, it’s clear in the way his mouth falls open with the corners quirked, but then you’re interrupted by a phone ringing. 

Your phone. 

Steve’s contact photo occupies the screen for the second time tonight, a ridiculous photo of him scowling at the camera in a yellow jumper while holding a can of pringles in front of him, one of his hands bringing a single chip to his pouting lips. 

“Let me answer it,” Eddie insists, holding out his hand as you stare down at the phone, still chiming annoyingly. 

“Were they supposed to call this often?” you ask, knowing well enough that Eddie didn’t have the answer. 

His hand waves in impatience, and you don’t put up a fight as you let him take the phone and swipe the answering bar, focusing instead on the Darth Vader discarded into your lap as he puts the call on speaker. 

“Hello?” Eddie answers in a chirpy tone. 

“How many times do we have to te- hold on. Munson?” Steve starts off aggressive, but his tone melts into confusion, “Why the hell are you answering her phone?” 

“Because I’ve murdered her,” he flatly replies, but his face doesn’t match his tone at all. 

He fucking winks at you. Your grip on Darth Vader tightens until you’re afraid you're about to snap it. 

“Not funny.”

“Not a joke.”

“Where is she, Eddie?” Steve sighs like an irritated parent, in no mood for games, “Please tell me you didn’t manage to make her lock herself in a room again.” 

“I told you. She’s gone. Sacrificed to the Dark Lord or whatever. Just got to go dump her body in the lake-”

You shouldn’t joke along with him, but you still whisper the correction of, “The canals.” 

“Sorry, I mean the canals.”

Another deep sigh. You can picture the way Steve was currently pinching the bridge of his nose at the two of you. 

“I heard her, you idiot. Now that we know you’re both clearly alive and well…. Where the hell is our photo proof?” 

You both share a look, and you quickly mouth, already?  

Eddie shrugs and mouths back, I guess. 

“We lost track of time,” you finally say out loud, still locked in eye contact with Eddie. His brown eyes are surprisingly captivating, several autumn shades all woven together. Burnt orange leaves, red apples, brown sweaters. You never thought you’d be able to see a season in someone’s irises, yet here you were, picturing it clear as day. “Let us hang up and we’ll send the photo.” 

Steve starts to speak, but Eddie’s thumb is quick to end the call. The moment your lock screen stares back at both of you, you look at the time. 

7:41. Shit. 

“Oops,” Eddie whispers as he hands the phone back over, “They really gave us quite the grace period that time.” 

“Yeah,” you breathe out, quickly opening your damn camera app. “So, how do we want to do this one?” 

Eddie thinks for a moment before he launches himself back to his side of the couch, and motions for you to toss him your phone. 

And once again, you put your faith in him, not even hesitating this time. 

It happens naturally; you both mirror each other, drawing up your knees, your sock-clad toes bumping firmly against one another. Your back is supported by the worn arm behind you, similar to how Eddie’s is, as you face him. 

He quickly angles the camera towards you, sticking a hand out into the frame while raising his middle finger. You don’t know what to do, so one hand holds up the Darth Vader as the other mimics flipping him off. 

A soft click from your phone. The photo’s taken, and you’re not even sure if you were smiling. 

“Trade,” he leans forward, one hand holding out your phone, the other reaching out for Darth Vader. 

You oblige, and go through the same process for his photo. His white socks contrast your black ones, and the corners of his lips twitch upwards no matter how hard of a line he presses them into. You can’t look at him directly, and settle for watching him through the screen as you hit the small grey button to snap the photo. 

Just as quickly as he had shoved away from you, he’s back at your side, watching you send off the photos to the group chat with a thumbs up emoji. You take a deep breath, scanning over the pair of photos until it’s confirmed that they’re delivered, and lock your phone. Your brows are furrowed in your reflection staring back at you through the black screen. 

“Do you really want to keep up the miserable act the entire twenty four hours?” Eddie’s voice echoes in your mind. 

No, you don’t. No matter how wrong this levity with Eddie feels, no matter how uncomfortable it is each time you remember that he’s meant to be the enemy and not someone to share laughter and smiles with, you don’t want to waste these remaining twenty hours being miserable. 

“What’s up?” Eddie’s actual voice echoes in real time as you continue to stare at your reflection.

“Just thinking,” you grunt. The thought of admitting your decision to Eddie is much more intimidating than simply acknowledging it to yourself. 

“Dangerous.” 

Instead of quipping something rude back, you decide to be vulnerable with Eddie. You decide to crack yourself open just a small bit, just as he had done microscopically when he spoke of his collection of items. It’s a dangerous gamble, and you don’t give yourself the chance to overthink it. 

“You were right, earlier,” you force the words out, fighting the way they try to cling onto your tongue and remain safely in your throat. 

“About… what?” He looks distrusting, and for good reason. He said plenty of things earlier - you could be preparing to remind him of any number of rude things he’d spewed. 

“About keeping up the miserable act,” you explain, turning your head to him and abandoning the phone, “You were right. I don’t want to be miserable this entire time. It… It goes by faster when we’re not about to strangle each other, believe it or not.” 

You swear you see his shoulders sag in relief. “Well, yeah, I could have told you that. I did tell you that, actually.” 

“Shut up,” you force a scowl, “My point is… I don’t know, maybe, we could try to- try to just- we could be-”

“Civil?” he finishes the sentence you stumble over. 

You nod, “Yeah. We could be civil.”

The word feels foreign on your tongue. Civility was not something you’d ever considered with Eddie, but the last hour had proven it to be possible. 

“Okay,” he nods along with you. He turns his entire body to face you, knees once again bumping as he sticks out a hand for you to shake, “Deal. We will try to be civil the rest of the time.” 

“Civil,” you repeat yourself again, more sure this time, still staring at his offered hand.

An olive branch. The opportunity to work together to survive the next twenty hours. The opportunity for his bare skin against yours. 

You think again of nuclear explosions and pulsing electricity, of open chests and matching scarlets, of smashing glasses against walls and ruined parties, of wounds healing over in scar tissues as they glow a gentle pink.

Civil. You wonder if that’s one of the words they’ll include on your gravestone as you reach out your hand and let Eddie’s palm meet yours. 

taglist: @catherinnn @haylaansmi @gaysludge @paprikaquinn @manda-panda-monium @audhd-dragonaut @amira0303 @blushingquincy @hellkaisersangel @eddieslittlewh0re @ajkamins @prettyboy200 @munsonzzgf @blue-eyed-lion @digwhatudug @madaboutjoe @wickedslashdivine @sweet-villain @somespicystuff @big-ope-vibes @jadequeen88 @sylviin @emma77645 @notbeforelong @lolalanaie @lo-siento-ama @happy-and-alone @micheledawn1975 @aysheashea @moon-huny @munsonswrld @bambipowerblueaddition @averagestudent03 @bakugouswh0r3 @mattefic @mxcheese @bietchz @nativity-in-black @tlclick73 @stezzil @vngelis @coley0823 @folklorebau @luvmunson86 @theherothesavior @keene200213 @hargrovesswifee @m-chmcl-rmnc @cherrymedicine13 @iunaelumen777

taglist is now closed.

[nintickleswitch]

didn't address this when it popped up because I had to take a step back from how genuinely vile the things people were saying about my friend. but.

internet slap-fighting. I can't even begin with how callous that description is when one side is telling you that you need to place the safety of minors above your ego, and the other side has:

- mocked and invalidated my friend's serious trauma

- made jokes about grooming their very young siblings and nieces/nephews with tickling (haha isn't that absurd?? no. no it's not. that's actually an extremely common way for sexual abuse to start and anyone joking about that is utterly repulsive).

- obsessively posted about him and harassed him in his inbox calling him a pedophile

all for wanting adults to leave children online alone and put up appropriate safeguards against minor interaction.

do not take this post as a suggestion to post more about my friend, or send them asks, or anything like that. they are done with this shit. if you want to get mad, get mad at me.

Also, I find it really amusing that you published an ask that you could easily smack down after I sent it in, but not mine, which I will post in full:

And I conclude this can only be because you're irresponsible. Because you're egocentric. Because you can only think of the mean words other people are calling you instead of the actual things they are telling you, from their perspectives as older adults, as people with this exact kind of trauma, and as people versed in sex education and CSA prevention. Because you care more about whether your blog is labelled kinky or whether people say that you are enabling groomers as opposed to the literal ongoing grooming problem in this community, that happens in large part because adults and minors are allowed to freely mingle in this kink space.

No one, aside from an insular little community on Tumblr who have shamed themselves so far into a corner that they are utterly in denial of what they are, thinks this isn't a kink community. Especially not the parents of the children who are trying to participate in it, not knowing the risk of doing this online with total strangers. Don't twist my words. This isn't about sex. This is about activities which require the same level of trust, intimacy, active negotiation, and respect of bodily autonomy as every other kink. That's why it's a kink, even if there's no sex, no bondage. If you are actively fantasizing about it, roleplaying, teasing online, planning out or even performing "sessions", that is engaging in kink.

I'm going to go into more intense discussion of the nature of sexual abuse, especially CSA and predation underneath the cut. Don't read if you find this triggering. Instead, stop here, and think past how mean my words are and how angry I sound. I have no personal vendetta against you as a human being. I am angry because of the way my friend has been treated, and because of the danger you are putting people in by continuing to act flippant about this subject. Take responsibility. Do better.

CSA and SA is about more than just direct sexual touching. It's about asserting control over another person's body that violates their autonomy and consent. It is having your sense of intimacy twisted and manipulated in a way that results in being unable to trust others not to hurt you, making you feel unlovable and disgusting, making you afraid of intimacy for fear of violation again.

And while adults in this community have definitely blatantly sexually interacted with minors they accessed through "SFW" tickle spaces, i.e yourgigglebugmaya/giggly-girl-maya (see this post below:)

That's not even necessary to traumatize someone. It can be by being pushy about roleplay scenarios, inappropriate questions about tickle spots and favorite techniques, asking for "SFW" pictures, verbal teasing, and so onwards. It's the kind of thing that makes you feel disgusting in your own skin for years afterwards and you don't even know why because there was nothing outright sexual about it.

Do you understand what I mean about how easy it is for a minor to be groomed on here? People as young as 13, 14, 15 who believe that everyone else is so well intentioned and innocent about tickling, that strangers cannot lie about their age and make a kidcore blog to tease "other" minors? That openly talk about which parts of their body they like to have touched, on their pinned posts? That use kink terminology like lee, ler and most importantly switch, because yes, those are BDSM terms that originated from the BDSM community. That talk about very intense scenarios involving tickling?

Why are you encouraging this? Why are any of you people encouraging this? This genuinely looks insane and beyond alarming to me from an adult's perspective, from an educator's perspective. And it's not about 'slap fighting' or internet brownie points or because I want to unnecessarily sexualize everything. The #1 priority in kink communities is safety, and I genuinely care about these minors' safety, which is why I believe they shouldn't be participating in this community.

If you refuse to see this, then, well, I don't really know what to say. But if you can't see the harm you're doing by encouraging this behavior, then you're not responsible enough to be part of this community either.

And that's a wrap. I've blocked the person in question because of continued public Internet slapfighting, which does not aid the situation.

Additionally, my point keeps getting misinterpreted and my words have also been twisted.

And the discussion has shifted to grooming when it was ORIGINALLY about people's platonic and SFW blogs being labeled as kink blogs, which is the whole reason I wanted to speak up.

I'll be logging off for a bit to manage myself; I don't want any of this to become belligerent or hostile on my end, so a break is needed.

Back to our regularly scheduled program.

[venusguks]

Unlike You

pairing : jeon jungkook x fem!reader

summary : As daydreamy and romantic as you are, you decided true love was going to have to wait for you tonight. That was because tonight, you were getting laid !! ...Your best friend doesn’t make it easy for you when he finds out why, though.

warnings : smut, dom!jk, sub!reader, unprotected seggs, fluff, bsf!jk, degredation, dumbification, possessive jk, jealous jk, fun sexy times, jk is whipped for mc, oral (fem receiving), body worshipping, jimin/reader but only for a sec

“A club?” Jungkook raised his brow.

He was incredulous and slightly displeased as he watched you pace around your room. It was rare after all, new to see you like this―in a black, satin dress with a slit high enough to make him upset. He didn’t need you catching anyone else’s attention, especially in a neon lit bar full of ravenous people.  “For the seventh time, yes, Kook,” You huff, jarring your mouth slightly to dab a dreamy red over your plush lips. 

You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so confident as you applied mascara and tickled a delicate pink over your cheeks. More than anyone, Jungkook couldn’t recall ever seeing you this way, this excited to be amidst a crowd of sweaty bodies. You honestly didn’t see why he was being so apprehensive, it wasn’t like you necessarily hated parties―you just always preferred the coziness of your home better. Huge social interactions were never your thing, and that was okay. Being an introvert wasn’t something to be ashamed of anyway, but staying in came with the everyday comforts of baggy sweatpants and sweaters.

So could anyone really blame you for your excitement? You just loved the way getting ready made you feel, missed it. You already knew you were beautiful with or without makeup, but damn did it make you feel confident.

“It’s just...” Jungkook furrowed his brows and ruffled his hair. “This isn’t like you, love. Did something happen? Are you okay? We can talk about it, if you want. Whatever it is, I’m here to listen you know.” 

You sighed exasperatedly at your best friend’s reflection through your vanity. His eyes were uncertain and full of concern as he watched your figure with crossed arms. “Koo, we’ve been over this so many times already. I’m nervous enough as it is, and you’re not helping at all. I want to do this, okay? It’s been awhile. Plus, I haven’t seen the others boys in so long.”

A part of you didn’t want to be annoyed at Jungkook for his incessant worrying, but it truly was hard not to sometimes. “You’re being such a fucking dick, you know that?! Can’t I just live my life without you being so fucking hysterical about it every time?! ” It was that winter a few months ago when you unleashed all your pent up frustration. Jungkook had always been overprotective, and you appreciated him for caring, but he just made it so hard for you to even breathe sometimes. It was the biggest argument you guys ever had when you started dating a boy a few years older. You ignored Jungkook’s calls and messages for weeks, but when you discovered that he cheated on you, Jungkook was the first to be by your side. You still remember the assurance and safety you felt in his arms; with his soft lips against your forehead, murmuring sweet consolations as you sobbed on his shoulder. After that day, Jungkook agreed to be less protective. 

“I just don’t get why it has to be a club. We could meet the hyungs anywhere else, baby.”

“Oh sure, maybe a strip club would do,” you said, chuckling when you see his shock. “I’m kidding, Koo.” Though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea...

Maybe you couldn’t blame him for being so appalled. You usually opted out whenever your friends went out to celebrate, which by the way, was rather often. Night after night, the few of them would call you, practically beg until they realized their efforts would end in vain. By the morning, notifications would spam your phone of their wild night; pictures and details that showcased hookups you didn’t need to know about. Now that you think about it, it was sort of ironic that you’d always grimace to the crude texts.

That was because tonight, you decided you were getting laid.

That’s right, to hell with sweet, wholesome love! If true love had to make you wait, true love would have to wait for you too! Your subscribing 48K readers have been expecting a new chapter of Spring’s Breath, an erotica series, which you’ve delayed for 2 whole months now. You didn’t exactly know when your writers block came, but by the fourth hour you stared at your blank screen, unable to come up with any other synonym for dick or thrust or moan; or how the overused dirty talk you wrote made you cringe―you realized the firecracker you had in writing erotica died out.

It was your dear friend, Hoseok, who suggested the whole ordeal. He was the only one who knew your secret, anyway. You had so much trust in him, so when he professed that maybe if you slept with someone, your spark would come back, you had truly considered it. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, no cons would come out of it. It was just odd to think about.

You have always been such a huge romantic, your literature proved it. Jungkook nor you nor anyone would anticipate you hooking up with someone just to hook up with someone. The tenderness, the connection, the intimacy... you’ve always prioritized genuine adoration over whimsical one night stands. You were an honest daydreamer, and maybe that’s why your works would always take off.

But maybe... maybe it was okay to let go once in awhile.

When you mentioned Jungkook being less overprotective, you forgot to put an emphasis on less―because there he was, his hand possessively squeezing your inner thigh every time you even dared to look at a cute boy. You let out a frustrated sigh when he nuzzles his nose into your neck.

You tried not to mind it. It was just in his nature anyway―ever since kindergarten when he found you crying over your dropped ice cream. Jungkook left only to come back with another cone, rubbing your fat tears away with the palm of his sleeve. In elementary school, he peppered you with tiny kisses when you sobbed over the death of your kitten. You’ve only had him for a month, dedicated all your time to him and skipped play dates to care for your little serendipity―but just like that―he was lifeless. It was Jungkook who found him on the road. In middle school, he’d go through the enveloped confessions in your locker and rip them apart, saying you deserved better than any of them. You’ve always looked up to him througha lens of admiration. Everything he did for you, he did it out of thought and care. It was sweet.

It was times like these where you really started to mind though. 

You’ve been giggling with your friends for the past hour, catching up on every minuscule detail. You were sitting in a booth wedged in the middle of Jungkook and Hoseok, brimming with happiness to see Namjoon and Yoongi again. Its been so long, and your heart would swell to the stories you’ve missed out on.

The night was carrying on delightfully! ...except for the fact that Jungkook sent death glares to whoever even glanced at you. The countless of times you shyly returned someone’s gaze, only for them to rush away when they caught sight of your best friend left you agitated. When the boys were engaged in a conversation about a class they all shared together, you decided it was a good time to bring it up. 

Gulping a shot down, you let out a huff. “Kookie...”

“Yes, baby?” He whispered into your ear, his large hand grazing the access of your slitted dress.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what, love?” You sharply inhaled as Jungkook rubbed sensitive circles on your skin.

Immediately standing up, you squeezed yourself out of the booth. “I’m gonna go dance!” You yell through the loud music, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes, because seriously, the nerve of that man! The rest of your friends cheered, “We love to see you like this, y/n! Enjoy yourself, cutie!” Hoseok laughed when you blew a kiss to him. He made you feel so much more at ease, so much more confident. Okay, you got this! No use in sitting around. You couldn’t get anywhere tonight with Jungkook by your side, anyway.

Fluffing out your hair after you downed another shot, you strut your way into the dance floor. Your hips swayed in a rather alluring manner as you made your way into the crowd, your fingertips tracing seductive lines from your hips up to your waist, your neck and finally, into the air. The alcohol slowly took its effect as your confidence settled in, rolling your head back and moving your body fluidly to the loud music. 

Truth be told, you didn’t know what you were doing, just knew you must’ve looked good as hell doing it as you felt hands grip your waist. You gasped as a body pressed against your back, sticky with sweat.

“You’re so captivating, princess,” His dulcet voice was enough to make you weak...or was it the alcohol? Whatever the case, get your grip together y/n! It was just four words for star’s sake! 

“I, um, th-thank you...um! You too..” Your confidence from only moments ago dissolved with your voice. “So shy now, princess? How come? You were dancing so sexily just moments ago.” He chuckled lowly against your ear, nibbling it. You whimpered to his brazen touch, his hands guiding your hips with his. “Are you shy for me? Is that it? What a cute little princess you are... so beautiful, fuck.”

Annnnnnnnd you truly were fucked. You professed only hours ago that true love could wait, that you’d be a different woman tonight, yet you couldn’t help but feel bashful to the man’s praise. His voice and his nectar sweet words enough to make you feel wobbly.

“I’m Jimin. Can I know my princess’s name?” He pressed his hardened member against your ass, the silk thin fabric barely doing its job of coverage. “Ah Jimin,” you moaned breathlessly as he kissed your neck. “I...I’m-”

“―Mine,” a low, husky voice finished. Jungkook stood behind you, jaw clenched and arms crossed. The veins on his biceps protruded under the incandescent lights; His white shirt and tight, black jeans doing wonders to complement his physique. 

“Are you deaf? I said she’s mine so why the fuck are your hands still on her?” Jungkook had always been intimidating, even when he didn’t try―so in the rare times he did, even he scared you sometimes.

Much to your disappointment, Jimin immediately lets go, hands in the air, “sorry man, I didn’t know.”

“W-what? Wait, he isn’t my...!” Before you could try to reach for the pink haired man, Jungkook firmly takes your hand. “Y/n, we’re leaving.” You didn’t even have a second to feel shocked before he swiftly guides you through the ocean of bodies. Loud music reverberated with your disappointment, and by the time the night’s cold air stings your cheeks, you've processed what just happened―what you just missed. It’s when Jungkook latches your seatbelt on and drives that you feel anger simmer in your chest.

“Why did you...Why the fuck did you do that, Jungkook?” You were exasperated with your emotions. You just didn’t get it. You were finally having the time of your life, finally stepping out of your comfort zone, finally dancing with a guy who made you feel amazing―just to end up on a drive back home before anything could happen. “Seriously, what the hell is your problem? That was my..! He was..!” You groaned, too frustrated to conjure up words.

Jungkook scoffed, “what, y/n? He was what? Your soulmate or something?”

“I didn’t say that! And even if I think so, why does it matter?! I was having fun! I was having so much fun and you just..! (hiccup) I was having so much fun....” You cried into your hands. “I haven’t felt that way in so long, j-just for you to mess everything up. God, I can’t even muster up words right now. I hate you so much.”

“Love...” Jungkook finally sighed, shutting the engine off. You had cried the whole ride home. The anger he once felt diminished with your tears. “Baby, please look at me.” 

“F-fuck (hiccup) off, Jungkook.” You quickly unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the car door. Knowing him as long as you did, you knew he would take your chin to force you to look up at him―but you had enough of him for the night, and honestly, the whole week.

You were just so fucking frustrated at everything. At Jungkook for unnecessarily budging in, at your writers block, at your own sexual frustration left with Jimin. What did you have to offer your readers now? A heartbreak of a possible relationship that never happened with a shitty friend on the side?

You tuned out Jungkook shouting from behind you, striding to you complex and up the stairs.

It wasn’t long after you slammed the door shut that you heard it click open again. You had forgotten Jungkook had an extra spare of your keys. “Just leave me alone, Kook.” You groaned, storming off into your room.

You kicked your heels off and stomped to your bed, taking out your frustration on your pillow where your sobs were muffled. The bed dips down when Jungkook sits beside you, silent as he caressed your hair in the way he always did to soothe your nerves.

Deciding it wasn’t enough this time, he carefully lifts you up to sit on his lap, sliding his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest. Jungkook knew you long enough to know hugs were the best remedy for you, even at your angriest moments. He knew you wouldn’t push him away.

“You jerk...” You buried your face into the crook of his neck, sniffling. “I don’t get you, Kookie. Why do you always do this?”

“I...I just wanted to protect you, baby. People have bad intentions, I didn’t want to see you end up doing something you’d regret,” His voice was gentle, brushing hair strands away from your face.

“Stars, Kook, I knew what I was doing. Whether I’d end up regretting it or not, that’s for me to sort out. I didn’t need you to ‘protect’ me. I was really enjoying myself, something I haven’t done in a long time. A-and you just..! You ruined it for me.”

Jungkook scoffed, “so you liked it then, how he was touching you? You were just going to let him fuck you?”

“Yes, Kook!” You yelled. “He could’ve fucked me in the public bathroom or in his car―in front everyone for all I care! He was hot and we were in the moment and you just interrupted! I know you care for me and I’ll always appreciate you worrying but there’s a fine line where your protectiveness should be. I’m not a kid anymore, Kook.”

Jungkook was gritting his teeth, and the two of you only glared at each other before he let out a sigh. Despite him wanting to be mad, he didn’t like making you upset. If you were going to cry because of him, he wanted it to be for an entirely different reason. 

He gently cupped your cheeks, holding your gaze with tender, sad eyes. “You know I’d do anything for you, yes? That I’ve always done anything and everything I could to help you?”

You furrowed your brows, unsure of how that related to anything, but nonetheless, you nod. “Yes, I know Kook.”

“Then why didn’t you just ask me to sleep with you, hm? If you needed help so bad, why didn’t you just ask me, baby?” You stared, dumbfounded and mouth ajar as his thumbs brushed the remnants of your tears away.

“W-What are you...?”

“Was so concerned for my baby. Hoseok got drunk and told me everything I needed to know. Did you know how hurt I was? How Hoseok knew something about you that I didn’t? Especially that you were a writer, love. I thought I was your number one, how could you keep that from me?”

“O-Of course you are, Koo! You’ll always be my number one. I just...didn’t want to tell you because it was embarrassing,” you mumbled, glancing away. Damn it Jung Hoseok! After all these years, this is when he accidentally slips it out? “Nuh uh, baby, I’m not having any of that. Look at me.”

Jungkook pressed his forehead against yours, an act you were certainly no stranger to, but nevertheless making your cheeks warm. “Not only that, you wanted to go clubbing tonight just to find a stranger to help you, is that right, baby? Wore this tiny dress just so someone could fuck you? Wanted Jimin to fuck you? Wanted to write about him fucking you in the bathroom stall?” Jungkook was speaking softly, though his words were anything but as his hands left your cheeks to trace sensuous lines up your thigh.

Your hands weakly held onto his shoulders, gasping when you felt his bulge press against your sensitive core.

“What was that you said....In his car? Wanted him to fuck you in front of everybody? Wanted to be a dirty slut just for your readers?” You didn’t know how exactly this moment came to be, but his honeyed voice brought you to a daze as you grind your hips against him. You were desperate to feel more—of anything, of him—only to let out a whine when he forcefully holds you down, burying your clothed center into his bulge. 

“I don’t think so, baby. I don’t think you deserve it,” Jungkook’s hot breath tickled your ear. You whimpered as he bit it, hands squeezing your hips. “You used to be so good for me baby, used to come to me for anything. Used to be a good little girl and depend on me. I would’ve helped you, baby. Instead, you became a dirty little slut, let another man touch you. Is that what you are now? A fucking slut?”

“N-no Kookie,” a new bundle of tears welled in your eyes at his harsh words. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sh-should’ve, ah, went to you,” you felt your body succumb to his touch. His nose brushed your jaw, placing warm kisses all over your neck before he glided his tongue down to your collarbone. “Please forgive me, I-I’ll be a good girl for you now, p-promise.”

“Yeah? Wanna be a good girl for daddy?” Jungkook licks the base of your collarbone before sucking it. “Yes..ah, yes daddy. Gonna be so good for you.” 

“And yet you weren’t,” you cried as you felt teeth sink into your skin. “J-Jung― ah, Kookie stop! Please i-it hurts!”

“You deserve this, fucking slut. You know how much you hurt me tonight? You’re secretly just a desperate whore, aren’t you? Missed your tiny cunt getting fucked so much that you’d let a stranger do it for you, hm? Answer me, slut.”

You felt tears drip down your eyes, embarrassment washing over your face. “What? You’re not going to speak now?” You shook your head in desperation. You couldn’t. How could you? It was too shameful.

You yelped when Jungkook picked you up by your waist and turned you over so your face was smushed into a pillow. “Ass up, now. Don’t make me repeat myself.” He snarled, and you immediately obliged. Jungkook was on his knees, eyes lidded to your position as he rubbed slow circles on your bare ass. “My slut is voiceless now, hm? Begged to be daddy’s good girl but can’t even answer when I talk to you. Why are you being so disobedient tonight, baby?” It happened so fast you could barely gasp as your body lurched forward to the slap. It repulsed through your skin as your right cheek stung with a faint red.

“J-J-Jungkook, ah!” You cried as another slap came, face burying further into your pillow. “I’ll be obedient from now on! s-so please! I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, daddy!”

Jungkook’s lips pulled to a smirk, grabbing a bundle of your hair before pulling you towards him. You whimpered and he bent down so he could see your face, tisking. “Oh, my poor baby. Did that hurt? Want to be a good little girl for daddy now?” You nodded ferociously, “p-please yes daddy! I-I’ll be so good for you. Please let me be good for you!” 

Jungkook’s dick felt constrained in his tight pants. He licked his lips to your messy, desperate state. Your eyes were red and puffy, lips just the same as heavy tears streamed down your eyes. Fuck, what Jungkook would give to fuck you senseless right then and there. But no, he needed to wait, needed to be patient. You deserved this.

“Make up your fucking mind, slut. If you want to be a good girl, then take your punishment like a good girl,” Jungkook pushed your face back into the pillow before slapping your ass once more. 

You didn’t know how long it went on, only knew the room was filled with your sobbing and the alarming sound of the contact that met your bruised skin. It hurt, it hurt so much. Your thighs were trembling and both your cheeks were a lovely shade of red and purple. But no matter how much you screamed your endless arrays of i’m sorry’s, Jungkook didn’t fail to notice how your juices soaked your underwear and spilled down your thighs

“Already making such a mess baby,” He groaned to the sight, palming himself to his creation. 

“P-please....hurts so bad...please let me l-lay down daddy, can’t hold myself much longer, please,” Jungkook adored the way you sounded for him, the way he corrupted you. You were perfect there, so perfectly powerless under him. 

“Mm, keep begging baby and maybe I’ll let you,” he unbuckled his pants and discarded them, his cock throbbing to your feeble pleads. “Please, please, p-please, please daddy... please. Hurts so bad, I-I can’t... please i-i’m a good girl. I’m a good girl for daddy. I’ll do anything please.”

“Did you learn your lesson, then?”

“Yes, I-I did, daddy!”

“You’ll be a good girl and obey daddy from now on?”

“Mhm!” You nodded vigorously, and Jungkook chuckled to your desperation. He peeled your soaked thong down, lifting your limp legs momentarily to pull it off until he set you back. You were so tired you felt your thighs give up on you right then, but before you could submit to your exhaustion, Jungkook lifted your ass up higher, arching your back deeper with one hand.

“Mm I don’t think so baby. Obey daddy and keep your ass up like a good little girl.” A gasp left your quivering lips when you felt Jungkook’s breath on your throbbing core.

“You smell so sweet baby, so fucking wet for me,” Jungkook hikes your dress up and glides his tongue up your inner thigh, wiping your dripping juices clean. “Kookie, mm, please,” he trails delicate kisses over your skin, nibbling it. “Yes, baby?” 

“P-please...please Kookie..!”

“Use your words, baby. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want.” Jungkook smiles against your thigh as he hears your soft sniffles muffled by the pillow. His poor baby, always so shy. It was true he loved to tease you, tempt you, and loved making you cry for him—but more than anything, he wanted to take care of you. “Please touch me, Koo, please.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” A sharp shiver crawls across your skin when your pleads are obliged, moaning as Jungkook stuffs his face into your cunt. He kisses your clit softly. One, two, three times before sucking it with his plush lips. His hands were the only thing keeping you up now because you practically melted to the touch. The way his tongue rolled over your sensitive bud already having you see stars. “Ah...feels so good, Kookie.”

“Yeah? Would it feel even better if I do this?” He easily slides his middle finger into your slippery hole, slowly pumping in and out. “O-oh...oh my god, more please.”

“Anything for you baby, but first,” a whimper escapes your lips when you feel him leave you, that is until Jungkook swiftly but gently flips you over so you’re finally laying on your back.

Jungkook’s breath hitches to the sight of you below him, frozen for a moment to the aching pull of his heart.

“You’re so pretty baby, so pretty,” Jungkook’s voice was sweet and smooth as he helped you undress. Fuck, did you know how much you pained him? How much he held back for you, all these years, in this moment? It was so hard not to take you right then, to kiss you until you couldn’t breathe, to touch every single part of you with his lips.

Jungkook has fantasized about you ever since he could remember, but you truly went beyond his imagination. You were so fucking beautiful. 

“...so pretty here,” he kisses your cheeks and your jaw, down to your neck. “And here,” he kisses the valley between your breasts, his hands trailing down your curves. “And here,” your stomach...and finally, taking your clit back into his mouth.

“The prettiest cunt baby, dripping so much for daddy,” he murmurs. His tongue rolls around your clit, pumping two fingers in and out of your slick pussy. It was all too much, the sensations overwhelming your senses as ungodly moans escape your mouth. You felt fuzzy and almost light headed, reaching down to hold Jungkook’s curls.

Your back arches and tears stream down your eyes from the intense pleasure exhausting you, his fingers curling into your sweet spot mercilessly. “Do you like this baby?”

“Love it so much, Jungkook,” You moaned breathlessly, looking down at him through your tears and ... wow. 

Jungkook’s brows were creased as he focused on his tongue devouring your wet cunt, plunging his two fingers steadily in and out of you. His bangs were sticking to his forehead, glossed with sweat while your hands curled around the rest. 

You were taken aback with your emotions. Was it strange, how timid you felt then? Doing this with him was supposed to be sinful, yet for some reason, it felt anything but at that moment.

It was the fact that Jungkook looked so intent, so concentrated in making you feel good. How Jungkook showed his care for you, how he always did, how he was doing right now, cherishing you with his best effort. He wanted to give you the best experience he could, wanted nothing more than to make you feel good.

It was unbearable how much your heart swelled for him.

A knot tied in your stomach, and as if noticing your stare, his eyes flutter open to look at you.“Hm, does baby wanna cum now? You can do it love, cum for daddy.”

With that, you came undone in Jungkook’s mouth. Your cries filled the room, and Jungkook opened your hole wider with his fingers, devouring your cream. The sound of slurping made your cheeks heat with an impure red. “That’s my girl, so good for daddy. So sweet for me baby, so beautiful.”

When you went limp in his arms, he gives your lips one last sweet kiss before standing on his knees. Jungkook smiles at the sight of you, already so fucked out even when he was no where near finished with you. 

He crawled forward, his forehead resting over yours once again. “Did that feel good, sweetie?” You nod shyly, your chests heaving up and down together. With rosy cheeks, you weakly bring your hands up to trace his jaw. “Jungkook?”

“Yes baby?” You melted to his dulcet voice, keeping his loving gaze. It held so much affection, so much adoration for you, you wondered why you never realized it.

“Kiss me, please.”

Jungkook smiles warmly. Without hesitation, he takes your lush, sweet lips in his. It was gentle, a kind of kiss that was so tender it made you warm with reassurance. You were kissing Jungkook—your silly, annoying, bratty, and all the while, lovable best friend of 20 years. It was strange and odd but more than anything, it felt so, unmistakably right.

You took Jungkook by surprise when you deepened the kiss, your hand squeezing his hair. He chuckled softly, pulling himself back momentarily to look into your eyes. “I love you,” he whispers.

Your cheeks heat up, but you fight your timidness as you smile back, “I love you too, Kookie.” 

With that, Jungkook delves back into your lips. A kiss that wasn’t so delicate this time. Rather, untamed and furious, as if Jungkook wanted to show you how much, how long he’s wanted this all this time.

You moaned into him as his hands groped your breasts, fingers twirling your perky nipples. “Jungkookie,” you hold your breath, feeling his clothed cock press against your core. “Fuck me please. Please, I need you so bad.”

“Yeah?” He lowers himself to take a nipple into his mouth. “Tell me how much you want it baby.” He flicked, swirled, and sucked it with his tongue, alternating with the other.

“W-Want it so bad daddy. Please, n-need you to fuck my wet pussy mm, daddy please.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he grins and sits up, pulling his shirt over his head, discarding his boxers and...

Oh.

Your breath hitched, blinking at Jungkook’s huge, painfully hardened cock. His tip was pink with sticky, white precum dribbling down his long member. It slightly pretruded up and its veins throbbed as if it’s been aching. And truly, he was. He’s been aching to feel your walls wrap around him for so long. You have no idea how hard he’s been trying to hold himself back for you. How painful it was to—and now, seeing you there, perfect and pretty, so shy and red just for him, Jungkook wasn’t sure he could anymore.

Jungkook needed you. He needed you getting stuffed full of his cock right now.

“I-Its so big...” You gulp as he centers himself in between your legs. “I know baby, so big and ready for your tiny cunt. Can you be a big girl and take it for me baby, hm? Let daddy fuck you until he’s satisfied? Let him use you like the little cock slut you are?”

“Y-yes daddy,” you whimper as he rubs his slick tip against your soaked, smooth cunt, sliding it back and forth. “I’m yours so please, p-please just use me daddy!”

“So good for me baby, such an obedient little slut for daddy, fuck,” Jungkook groans, slipping his tip into your lush walls. You cry as he stretches you all the way out, leaving no room for you to breathe with his tip poking your tummy. Your mind felt dizzy, mouth ajar with drool slipping out even when he hadn’t even moved yet. 

“Shiiit you should see yourself baby. Such a fucking whore for daddy’s cock. Can I move, baby? Or can this tiny little pussy not take my big cock?”

“I-I..mm, please, I can take it! Please fuck me daddy!”

“That’s my girl.” Jungkook starts off painfully slow but just as painfully hard, pushing your knees to your chest. He completely draws himself back so he can see his glistening, twitching tip before driving himself back into your core. “Shit baby, your pussy’s so, fuck, tight.” Jungkook moaned to how your breast bounced up and down every time he shoved himself in.

You were sobbing by the time he quickened his pace, the intense sensation having you light headed. Jungkook loved the way you looked under him, eyes rolled back with buried balls deep inside of you. “You like this baby? Love my cock filling you? Answer me.”

“L-love mm love so m—ah, Kookie..! f-feels so....g-good daddy.”

“Look at you, baby. Can’t even talk with daddy’s cock stuffing you. Such a dumb slut for daddy, so fucking hot baby.” Jungkook moans, juices spurting everywhere and dampening the sheets with every thrust.

“I-I’m not d-dumb..!” You whimpered, fat tears streaming down your eyes. Jungkook smirks, licking his lips.

“Aww, of course you are baby. Just a dumb little cock slut for daddy. Can only think of daddy’s cock, can you?”

You can’t bring yourself to answer, your mind too scrambled with each and every thrust. Jungkook was going so fast, so hard, you felt so full.

“That’s what I thought baby. My sweet girl, fucked dumb for daddy. You only need daddy’s cock, nothing else.” Jungkook positioned your legs over his shoulders, clenching on to them to drill deeper into your tummy.

“Oh, o-oh my god, ah d-daddy...! ‘m your slut...love your dick so m-much...love being stuffed with cock.” Jungkook groaned to your sinful moans, feeling his stomach tighten.

“Just want daddy to cum inside you, don’t you? Want daddy to fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum, baby?”

“Y-yes, please daddy! Want daddy’s cum so bad! Please give me cum..!” Jungkook shoves his thumb inside of you plush lips, and god, he’s so proud of his work, so proud of you. You were taking his thumb like a good girl, sucking it as if it were his cock.

Jungkook felt his dick throb inside of you, aching for release. He pulls his thumb out with a pop of your wet lips, coated with saliva, and rubs figures over your clit. You scream, gripping onto the sheets. it was so much, too much for you to handle. Your back arches as he abuses your clit and sloppily fucks your hole.

“J-Jung–Jungkook, ah, please! Kookie! I-I’m..!”

“Its okay, baby, its okay. Gonna cum with daddy, hm? You can do it baby, sweet girl, cum for me,” Jungkook cooes, attempting to soothe your nerves, but his words are breathless and ragged. He thrusts in and out one, two, three, four more times until he burries himself deep inside you, spurts of thick cum filling your womb.

Jungkook groans as your pussy clenches around him, and you’re a sobbing, moaning, wet mess as you milk him. “Fuck, my sweet girl. Taking my cum like a big girl baby. So good for daddy, so fucking good for me.” With his praise, you feel yourself release soon after. Jungkook continues to thrust in and out of you, helping you ride out your high.

When he feels you falter in his arms, he pulls out and lays on top of you. Both of you stay like that for awhile, exhausted and in a daze.

With your moist bodies tangled with one another’s, you shut your eyes. You can hear Jungkook’s heartbeat hammer against yours, you short-winded breaths, and the soft whirring sound of the air conditioner.

Moonlight filtered in through your windows, casting a luminescent glow on Jungkook’s skin when he pushes his upper body up, his shoulders resting on either side of you.

Jungkook had spent the whole night cherishing you, telling you how pretty you were, and yet there he was—so ethereal under midnight’s grace. How could he be real?

You bring your hand to caress his cheeks. You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

In that moment, so intimate and sacred, His doe, gentle eyes that you could get lost in—that hold all the lost stars of the night sky, tell you all you need to know.

You yawn, stretching your arms high up. “Here’s your order maam,” two porcelain cups of matcha are placed in front of you, steam following it’s every movement. You mumble a thank you, smiling before your eyes drift to the man at the other side of the cross walk.

He’s wearing all black as per usual, revealing the beautiful tattoos that adorned his tan skin. His hair was tousled and he looked sleepy—after all, he’d just gotten out of class—but as soon as the crosswalk lights up with green, you chuckle when he sprints across and into the shop.

The bell that hung by the door didn’t even finish ringing before he runs to you, sweeping you off your chair and into his arms. “Kookie, let me down!” You giggle, but nonetheless wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I’m so proud of you baby,” he nuzzles his nose into yours. “You finally published it right? The twenty second chapter?”

a / n : ahhhhh its exactly 3:01am and i have class in the morning which is why the middle ending is super rushed sorry ! i truly wonder why i do this to myself.

this is my first smut fanfiction so i’m not sure how i did , but if anyone ever reads this , i hope you enjoyed ! i dont think im cut out to write smut, i truly did have headaches thinking of synonyms for thrust and dirty talk . i really admire smut writers ,, writing smut is not as easy as it seems !!

anyways , sending love abundance and happiness your ways. you deserve love, you’re worthy of love, and you are love.

stay safe and healthy starlights <3

[widowsistersandfriends]

hi, I love your writing and was wondering if you'd be willing to write something with either Wanda Maximoff or Yelena Belova who are trying to draw on the reader but the reader can't sit still because it tickles too much?

Hi anon! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my writing! I decided to throw them both in there to make it a little more chaotic, so I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1154

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Today at the compound, some of the younger Avengers, including you, had planned on putting on a play for the older Avengers. You, Peter, Kate, and Yelena were all participating in the play. 

The play consisted of different animals meeting for the first time in the jungle, and eventually going on adventures together. It was silly to say the least, but the four of you were excited to perform in front of the Avengers that you admired the most.

You were playing a tiger, as you got ready by putting on an orange t-shirt with stripes and a pair of orange shorts. Meanwhile, Wanda was helping paint your face orange, along with a few whiskers.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N, you look adorable!” Wanda cooed, after putting the finishing touches on your face.

“Really? You think so?” You asked, as you took the hand-held mirror that the witch gave you.

“Of course, Y/N! You’re so cute,” Wanda said.

You smiled at how your tiger costume turned out, eager to perform in front of the other Avengers. However, just as you were about to leave, Yelena came rushing over in her elephant costume.

“Y/N! You don’t look anything like a tiger!” Yelena teased playfully.

“What do you mean?” You asked, genuinely concerned.

“Your legs, feet, and arms are still human,” Yelena teased, running a nail up your sole, causing you to shriek and pull your foot back.

Yelena smirked and looked towards Wanda with an evil glint in her eye.

“Y/N, we have to paint your body to match your clothes so you look more like a tiger, okay?” Wanda explained, while Yelena ran off evilly to get the paint and brush.

“What?!? Why?!? You asked, now suddenly feeling worried and nervous from the current atmosphere.

“Don’t ask questions, Y/N, just trust us. We know what we’re doing,” Yelena said, as she was now back with a larger brush and the can of orange paint.

Wanda slowly dipped the brush into the paint, going over your arms, and earning the occasional giggle from you. 

“Awwww, poor little Y/N, does that tickle?” Wanda teased, as you struggled not to move your arm too much and mess her up.

Once your arms were painted orange with black stripes, Yelena took over and began to paint your legs.

You snorted the minute the brush made contact with your thighs, as you began to squirm frantically.

“AHAHAHA IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHIHICKLES,” you cried out, trying to push Yelena’s hands away.

“Quit squirming so much, Y/N, you’re gonna mess me up!” Yelena teased, now lightly dragging the brush over your knees.

“STAHAHAHAHP YOHOHOU’RE DOHOHOIHIHING IHIHIHT OHOHON PURPOHOHOSE,” you squealed out, stating the obvious.

“Oh am I now?” Yelena teased, tickling your foot lightly with one hand, while the other hand still had the brush lightly going over your knees.

You squealed with hysterical laughter, as Wanda now held you down with her powers.

“Thanks crazy witch lady,” Yelena snarked, as the witch just rolled her eyes fondly. 

“Now, where were we? Oh right, your feet still need to be painted!” Yelena said excitedly.

“WAIT NO!” You shrieked, as Yelena began to brush up and down the soles of your feet.

“OHOHOKAY STAHAHAP IHIHI LOOHOHK LIHIHIHKE AHAHA TIHIHIGER,” you squealed out, desperate to get her to stop. Instead you just felt fingers wiggling into your armpits, as Wanda joined in on the fun.

“NOHOHOHOHO PLEHEHEHEASE STAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIT,” you cried out, unable to move your arms anywhere, as they stayed put above your head. 

“Wow, I didn’t know tigers had such contagious laughter!” Wanda teased, now wiggling her fingers between your upper ribs.

“NOHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE PLEHEHEHEASE,” you screamed out, as Yelena was now using the brush under your toes.

You wiggled your toes as much as possible, but the brush stayed right where it was.

“We also can’t forget about your tummy!” Yelena said, as she pulled your shirt up slightly, and began to run the brush over your stomach and sides. All while Wanda was still drilling into your upper ribs.

You let out a wheeze, before falling into silent laughter, unable to scream out any more phrases begging them to stop.

The two girls finally let you go, as you lay there panting and trying to catch your breath.

“You good, Y/N?” Wanda asked, patting your head.

“Oh yeah, I’m just wonderful,” you said back sarcastically, earning a poke to your ribs.

“Wait! Your neck isn’t orange, so you’re not a proper tiger yet!” Wanda exclaimed, quickly reaching for the brush.

“Wait no!” You cried out, before breaking into hysterical giggles, as the brush swiped over your neck at a fast pace.

“Y/N, if you keep squirming so much, you’ll ruin the paint that’s already done on your face,” Wanda teased, making sure to add extra layers of paint so that it wouldn’t come off. And also to tickle you more.

Wanda finally let up on her torture, letting you go once and for all.

“My gosh, Y/N, you’re so ticklish that your character in the play should be the ticklish tiger!” Wanda teased as you blushed and looked away.

“C’mon, Y/N let’s go put on a play for these old people,” Yelena said, looking a bit different than she usually does, as she was wearing a ridiculous elephant costume.

The four of you took the stage, all prepared to put on an adorable play for the other Avengers. They all gathered around in the living room of the compound, eager to see what was in store for them. 

For the most part, you all memorized your lines and stuck to the script, making the play a huge success. However, Yelena occasionally went off from the script, poking your side or ribs whenever you were near or passing by her, causing you to squeal and jerk away in surprise. The blonde couldn’t help but chuckle at your reaction, as did the others in the audience. 

After the play, the older Avengers came up to you to tell you how well you did. 

“Wow, your costume looks so realistic! Your entire body is orange,” Natasha said looking you over.

“Yeah, thanks to Wanda and Yelena, I was able to look like a real tiger!” You explained excitedly.

“I hope it didn’t tickle too much,” Natasha commented with a smirk.

“Oh no, Y/N was way too ticklish that Wanda had to hold them down with her powers,” Yelena chimed in, as you shot her a playful glare.

“What? It’s not my fault that you’re so ticklish,” Yelena said with a fond eye roll.

You let out a huff of annoyance, as Natasha then led you to the kitchen to have a popsicle, which immediately brightened your spirits.

You happily ate a strawberry flavored popsicle while daydreaming at the table, knowing that this would be one of your favorite memories with the Avengers.

[veliseraptor]

i know i just did one of these but my attempts to focus are not going well and i'd really like to get back in the rhythm of writing so...another round! of the 150 words meme. send me up to 3 numbers and I'll write 150 words in that project, etc., you know how it goes

shorter list this time because I'm trying to Focus and Finish Some Stuff

1. Xue Yang cocked his head a little to one side, swaying back on his heels again. “I don’t know what exactly is going to happen to you,” he said. “Not for sure. But just in case…” His smile vanished, overbright eyes fierce and intent. “Take care of him. Keep him safe and keep him alive. Don’t let him do anything stupid. Got it?” 

Song Lan felt the command settle on him like a net. Xue Yang waited, as though for a response. Song Lan stared at him, unable to give one, his dread and confusion growing. Xue Yang nodded.

“Good,” he said. “Maybe this time around you can be a little less useless.” 

What are you doing, Song Lan would have asked, if he could, if he still possessed his will and his tongue. What are you talking about?

Xue Yang exhaled a slow breath, then reached out and patted Song Lan’s chest twice. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. I think that’s everything, then.” He shifted his shoulders. “See you around, Zichen.” (Life After Death)

2. And eventually, still Pete. Because Pete wanted him, wanted to be with him, wasn’t running for the hills, didn’t look at him with wary disgust. Vegas tried to let him go gracefully and Pete held on, and it wasn’t like Vegas tried very hard to shake him loose.

Vegas didn’t get it. He was trying to be okay with not getting it. Just accept it, Pete said, like it was that easy. Vegas didn’t know that he’d just accepted anything in his life and he wasn’t sure he knew how to start now.

He was going to have to, though, because not being dead meant living with the fucked up new world he woke up in, and he hated a lot of things about it, and there was absolutely fucking nothing he could do. A chorus of helpless, worthless, useless banging around in his skull and he just had to accept it and be grateful.

It was fine. He was fine. 

He was extremely fucking tired. (post canon vegaspete long(er) fic)

3. “What did I do?” he asked.

“Do?” his friend said. He sounded distracted.

“Yes,” Xiao Xingchen said slowly. “I did…something.”

“You’ve done a lot of things,” his friend said. “Bit of a long list. Could you narrow it down for me?”

Xiao Xingchen groped after understanding. His head hurt so badly and kept spinning and he was so confused, knowing things were missing but not knowing what he knew was missing. “I don’t know,” he said, distressed. “I…something wrong. Something…bad?” 

There was a brief, terrifying pause and then a laugh that sounded genuinely amused. “What? You, Daozhang?”

Xiao Xingchen could feel his face warming but he shook his head. “It was something important,” he said. “That I should have…or shouldn’t have…but I can’t remember. Did I…” He took a careful breath and said, “did I hurt you, friend?” 

“Pff,” his friend said. “No. Don’t be stupid. Come on. You won’t let me kill spiders in the house.” A flash of memory at that image, legs tickling his palm and he could feel someone’s amusement even though no one was laughing. It must be his friend. But it seemed like someone else. 

He didn’t know who. (xiao xingchen + concussion)

4. “Hands up,” snapped the ringleader. Vegas raised his hands, the gesture lazy, almost bored. 

“I’m not here for a fight,” he said, apparently unconcerned by the multiple weapons trained on him. Pete, despite the growing suspicion, was very concerned. If somebody shot Vegas, killed him– 

He didn’t actually think there’d be a lot of mourning in the main family. But there would be consequences for a bodyguard who failed to protect his charge, and if Vegas wasn’t exactly his charge he was still…family.

“Then what are you here for,” the ringleader said, still obviously suspicious.

“Negotiation,” Vegas said. (the devil drives)

5. Doing some math in his head and not liking what he was coming up with, Vegas asked, “when did this go down, anyway?” 

“Around noon, little after?” Pete yawned, then frowned. “Are you upset?”

“Not with you,” Vegas said, his temper starting to simmer. At least, not exactly. Not mostly. Or he would be that, later, once he knew more about what exactly had happened that had led to Pete getting shot. It was late afternoon now, which left a gap of at least a few hours between Pete getting hurt and Porsche contacting him. “Any idea why nobody told me about this until a half an hour ago?” 

Pete’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked perplexed, which suggested it hadn’t been his idea. That was good. For Pete. (Undercut)

6. “Aw, Xingchen, don’t be worried about him,” she said. “I bet your boyfriend can murder his way out of some kind of most dangerous game bullshit, no problem.” Xiao Xingchen gave her a tired look, and she said, “no, seriously. And that’s assuming this story isn’t some cover for his real job as a contract killer.”

“As a what?”

“Do you think I could hire your boyfriend to take a hit on my parents?” a-Qing said, like she hadn’t heard him. 

“He’s not an assassin, a-Qing!” Xiao Xingchen exclaimed. She smirked at him, even if it was a little weaker than it usually would be.

“You don’t think,” she said. “It’s not like he’d just tell you. Can’t hurt to ask. Maybe there’s a friends and family discount.” (Redux)

7. “Of course it’ll work,” Xue Yang said, sounding offended. “Long enough, anyway, and then we can come up with some other story. I can.” He eyed Song Lan, expression turning skeptical. “You going to be okay with that?”

“Okay with what?”

“Me bullshitting these people,” Xue Yang said. Song Lan stared at him in disbelief, at first thinking that Xue Yang must mean it sarcastically. It was clear by the wary look in his eye that he didn’t. 

“With everything else you’ve convinced me to do lately,” he said, “what makes you think that I would balk at a single lie?”

“I don’t know,” Xue Yang said. “I have no idea how your brain works, Song-daozhang, I don’t know what you’re going to decide to get pissy about or not so I figured I might as well ask.”

“My standards are hardly so arbitrary!”

Xue Yang started to shrug and, Song Lan noticed, caught the motion halfway through. “Everybody’s standards are arbitrary as far as I can tell.” (Walking Far From Home)

8. His footsteps didn’t take him immediately out of Yi City. He didn’t fully realize where he was going until he was standing in front of the yizhuang beside a familiar coffin. His stomach ached and he reached out to touch it only to draw back before making contact. He had the sudden, strange feeling that all the past weeks had been a dream, and he’d never left this place at all. 

Maybe he couldn’t leave this place. Maybe he would always find himself drawn back, again and again. 

Song Lan shook that thought off, but he didn’t walk away. He sat down instead and waited as the shadows lengthened and the sky darkened. (the poison in your bones)