#the ï threw me off too

[dunmeshistash]

Why do everyone write it "laois" ?

It's laios, you can use laïos if you feel fancy or even say "laïus" as it was in the fan translations and it was cooler but "laois" feels lile it's family guy lois being mispronounced.

It's the official spelling of his name by Kui, I also don't understand what you mean

OH LAIOS vs LAOIS idk then

I cant read similar words I was trying for like 10 minutes LMAO

Edit: I also never noticed that, probably cause as I said above similar words get mixed up in my head (undiagnosed dyslexia lets go) but now I checked a post I had open on twitter and there it was

[jeffwittekcuts]

I Don’t Wanna Waste My Time (J.W)

Or where Jeff and Yn are friends with benefits , but Yn want something serious. (Part One)

 “Oh my fucking God, Jeff!” Yn moaned

“Tell me what you want baby girl” he said leaving kisses on neck

“Fuck me Jeff, just fuck me”  she said, hands clenching the sheets into fists

“Mmm that's a good girl” Jeff moaned as he thrusted into her harder and deeper

The sound of a phone ringing, abruptly woke him up from his dream, it was David.

“What?” he said annoyed

“Jeez, why so angry?

“It's the middle of the night and you woke me take a guess”

“Well just wanted to tell you Zane, Carly, Yn, Natalie, Matt and I are going out and I was wondering if you'd like to tag along” David asked

“I’ll think about it”

“Well if you do come, were going to Karma”

“Okay”

“Okay bye.”

Rolling back to bed, he could feel the boner between his legs. His hand slowly made its way down to the elastic of his boxers, slipping right in he took his cock and started stroking it, closing his eyes as he started thinking about her, Yn. He imagined her on her knees taking him all in as he throws his head back in pleasure, grabbing a fist of her hair, fucking her mouth, her pink lips turning a shade darker. He feels himself getting close. Stroking faster, he finally cums, making a mess of his boxers. For some reason he felt like a teen that could not control his urges. He proceeded to take a cold shower to lower his body heat. He wanted yn, and not only in his dreams. Making his way to his closet, Jeff decided he was going out and getting what he wanted.

“Shots!” Zane yelled as soon as they got to the club. Yn felt Zane grab her and Natalie's hand leading them to the bar area. By the time they had downed their first tequila of the night, David, Matt and Carly had found their way to them. As the night went on, Yn began isolating herself from the group, occasionally dancing with some guys or a random group of girls. At this point, she was swaying her hips to some JBalvin song on her own, really feeling herself, letting loose from everything that was on her mind.

After what felt like forever Jeff finally arrived at the club, he first spotted a very drunk Zane busting his ass off, he then saw Matt and Carly near Zane, making sure he didn’t do anything stupid. As he kept walking toward the small group, he also saw Natalie and David chatting in a table but no sign of Yn. She always did this, she’d get lost and when it was about time to leave she’d magically appear again. Usually this wouldn’t bother Jeff since most of the times she’d get “lost” he would be fucking her in some random place, but now he actually had to look for her. After making conversation with David and Natalie, trying to raise no suspicions about what he was there for, he excused himself to go to the bathroom, but really he was looking for Yn.

“Hey doll, you dropped your phone.” Snapping out of her trance, Yn noticed a brunette boy handing her back her phone, which in fact had slipped off her skirt. He had called her doll, only Jeff really ever called her that did not matter right now.

“Oh thank you so much, I didn't even notice,” she said taking back her phone, not before flashing a cute smile to the boy.

“Im Sebastian by the way” 

“Yn”

“It fits you”

“How so?”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl”

“God, you're cheesy,” she giggled

“I've been told”

“I like it, it’s cute”

“I know we just met, but would you like to dance?”

“I'd love to”

After what felt like forever, Jeff was finally able to spot Yn with some guy he didn't know. She was looking very good tonight, a small red crop top contrasting with her skin and making her boobs pop, her black jean skirt hugging her hips and some black vans to finish the look. The way she was dancing with that guy made him want her even more. He almost wished he was him, having her all over his body, but soon enough she would be. Pulling his phone out he texted her a quick hey, in hopes of getting her attention.

Now surrounded by a small crowd, Sebastian and Yn were enjoying themselves, getting closer and closer by the second. Yn decided to make the first move and kiss him, he was surprised at first but he kissed her back. The kiss was smooth, very different from her other experiences, and while standing there she was able to feel her phone ring multiple times. She excused herself to check her phone, thinking it might be david letting her know they would leave soon. It was Jeff. She read the messages he had sent in the past few minutes.

“Hey”

“Doll,are you ignoring me?”

“I need you babygirl”

“Ditch that guy and lets go to my place”

She read the texts over and over again. She was really enjoying sebastian's company, but she really wanted to go over to Jeff’s. Her poor judgement decided she'd leave with Jeff. 

“Hold on, meet me in the hallway” she quickly texted back. Shortly after, a voice made her snap back to reality.

“Is everything okay?” Sebastian asked.

“Yeah, my friend was just letting me know we're leaving soon,” she said sadly.

“Oh”

“Yeah, I was really having a good time”

“Well if you'd like a better time let me take you out”

“Like on a date?”

“Yeah, on a date”

“Then it's a date”

“Here I’ll give you my phone and you give me yours and let's exchange numbers” As they exchanged numbers, yn heard her phone ring 

“Umm Jeff can't wait to see you” he said dryly 

“What?”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“No, he's my friend, he was out of town and its been awhile since we've seen each other” she lied

“Oh, I'm sorry I just didn't want to get in the middle of anything”

“You're fine, trust me Jeff is just my friend”

“Well here you go” he said handing Yn her phone. “Text you later?”

“I'll look forward to it,” she said as she waved goodbye and left sebastian.

Making her way through the crowd, she finally got to the hallway. There he was, leaning against a wall in his white shirt and black pants, looking at his phone. For some reason he was looking particularly good tonight, his hair was messy, his arms looked more toned than usually, this whole sight was making her horny for him. Yn could feel herself getting wet by the as she approached him, god he looked better upfront.

“Hey,” she said catching his attention. Looking up from his phone,  was beautiful Yn. before he even said anything he grabbed her face and just started kissing her. The kissing got heated by the second. Jeff  stopped kissing her mouth after a while, and made his way to her sweet neck. Leaving soft wet kisses on it, he then whispered “let's get out of here” giving Yn goosebumps as he grabbed her hand leading them out. “Wait,” she said. “I came with david,”  Jeff thought for a second about what they should do until he said: “Okay follow my lead.” Redirecting their path, Jeff carried her in his arms as he looked for were the group was.

“Hey guys, Yn here is very sleepy, so I'm giving her a ride home ”Jeff lied to the group

“Baby, where have you been” drunk Zane said

“Having too many drinks, now I'm sleepy” she answered 

“Okay , I’ll see you tomorrow for brunch then”

“Bye guys” both Jeff and Yn said and left.

When they got to Jeff's car, they kissed again before getting in. Since this was going to be a long ride, Yn decided to have some fun. First, she was going to tease Jeff and then make her way to his dick. Feeling it get hard under her touch, she kept rubbing it. Earning a moan from Jeff, she proceeded to unbutton his pants and keep rubbing him through his boxers.

“Fuck Yn, stop that Im driving”

“So keep driving an let me do my thing,” she whispered as she bit his earlobe and made her way to his dick. Taking his cock out of his boxers, she took him all in her mouth and she immediately felt herself gag from how big Jeff was, but still continued to blow him. She could hear him curse under his breath as he was about to cum, and a few minutes later he came all over her mouth as he took a grip of her hair. She gladly swallowed it and just as she was getting herself together she noticed they had reached Jeff’s apartment. They kissed some more on the elevator as jeff pushed her against the wall and carried her to his door. When he finally managed to open it, he put her down and they both started undressing themselves leaving them just in their underwear.

Once they reached the bedroom, Yn layed on top of Jeff, kissing his neck as he played with her boobs. She was grinding against him, and she then felt Jeff flip them leaving her exposed in front of him. His hand travelled down to her panties, slowly massaging her clit and then inserting two of his long fingers into her, God did she loved his fingers.

“Oh fuck Jeff”

“You like that doll?”

“Oh fuck yeah”

“Tell me how much you like it” he said as he gained speed

“I fucking love your fingers so much, Oh fuck I’m so close”

“Cum for me Doll” he said as he felt her clenching her walls around his fingers. 

Jeff grabbed a condom from his nightstand drawer on put it on, he knew Yn was on the pill, but better safe than sorry. He was about to position himself on top of Yn when she pushed him back, deciding she would rather ride him. She was so fucking hot. Yn rode Jeff, and as she leaned to kiss him, she could feel herself getting close. Jeff threw his head back meaning he was very close as well. Jeff grabbed Yn’s hips moving them faster, and within minutes, both had managed to cum. Yn got off Jeff and layed next to him on the bed and for a moment, all that could be heard was their heavy breathing . 

“That was amazing” Jeff said as he left a kiss on her cheek

“Yeah it was” She said very pleased

“You ready for round two” He asked with a cheeky smile

“No I think I'm just going to head home”

“Why? You usually stay”

“Yeah but I want to get some sleep before the bruch

“Are you bringing anyone

Ï think i might invite sebastian , he's really sweet”

“The guy from the club? You hardly know him”

“So? He won't try to do anything if im with all my friends”

“Well im taking Kelsey”

“Cool , anyways I'm gonna go now”she said “see you at brunch”

The group had decided to meet up at Urth Cafe for brunch, Yn was running late like she did most of the time , but at least she was not going to be the only one late , since Sebastian was coming with her. When they got there she was laughing at something Sebastian has said , she then presented him to the group and sat next to Zane and in front of Jeff and Kelsey. 

“Baby , you finally got yourself a man” Zane whispered to her , she giggled and nodded in response , the brunch was going great , except for some backhanded comment from Jeff towards Sebastian , usually she would not think much of it , but she was sensing some of this comments weren't jokes at all, when Yn had enough she spoke 

“Hey Jeff would you mind taking a pic with me real quick”

“Yeah sure” he said as she led him to a more private area to confront him.

“What the hell is up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Stop playing stupid , why are you giving sebastian such a hard time?’” 

“I'm not,  im just teasing him”

“Jeff , I know when your teasing and that aint it” she spoke sternly

“Why are you being so weird about it?”

“Because I really like him’” 

“What?”

“Look Jeff what you and I have is great but I want something serious and I think this guy could be the one, so please cut the shit”

“Wait so what about us?”

“Its over Jeff , why dont you just fuck Kelsey instead, look Jeff I love you, youre one of the greastest guys I know but , youve said it yourself you dont want anything long term , so what am saying is when can still be friends okay?” She said as she left as kiss on his cheek

“Yeah , just friends then , no sex?” He asked 

“No sex” she said “Now lets go I dont want to keep Sebastian waiting”

“I'll be there in a minute I'm just going to the bathroom”

“Okay”

Standing there Jeff felt watched Yn go back to the table , he felt sad for some reason as if they had broken up or something even though they didn't date , he had mixed feeling about the whole situation  , he decided to shrug it off , and return to the table , but when he did, he could not help but be angry at  Sebastian making Yn so happy , almost wishing it was him .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: So this is Part 1 of the mini series “Butterfly Effect” , I really hope you guys like it , I know I’m having a blast writing it. Huge shoutout to @emobrock for always helping me , gracias perrita.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Elon Musk was once tech's angel. Now he's an overplayed meme.

It’s Viral Market Crash week on Mashable. Join us as we take stock of the viral economy and investigate how the internet morphed from a fun free-for-all to a bleak hellscape we just can’t quit.

In the space of a few short months, Elon Musk has gone from being the internet's tech darling to one of the most parodied personalities online.

Up until this spring, Musk was more or less well liked. Sure, his employees were reportedly working mandatory overtime, but his anti-union stances were overlooked because hey, he launched a car into space! His company's egregious record of under-reporting workplace injuries was glossed over because he started dating Grimes after shooting his shot with an adorably nerdy pun. Elon Musk was the manic pixie dream boy of tech: He was deeply problematic, but it was easy to ignore because he was just so quirky. 

SEE ALSO: People think Guy Fieri is a better philanthropist than Elon Musk

I mean, he sold flamethrowers. Flamethrowers! Who even remembers that Tesla employees were apparently forced to work around the body of an employee who passed out when there are videos of a grown man giggling about his new flamethrower? 

Don’t do this. Also, I want to be clear that a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don’t buy one. Unless you like fun.

A post shared by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on Jan 27, 2018 at 5:29pm PST

But then in late May, Musk's reputation took a sudden nosedive when he started using Twitter like Donald Trump. Musk criticized how the media covers Tesla crashes. He was understandably upset that a recent crash that resulted in a broken ankle was reported on extensively while thousands of fatal crashes from standard cars aren't. 

Then he ramped up his complaining and blamed "big media" for lying, and claimed that nobody believes news outlets anyway. He also said that journalists are "under constant pressure to get max clicks" or risk getting fired for not pulling in enough of that sweet advertising revenue, even insinuating that fossil fuel and oil companies were paying off reporters to write negative reviews of Tesla's cars. 

As if that wasn't enough, Musk followed up by announcing his plans to create a Yelp-type review site for journalists that would allow the public to "rate the core truth of any article," which honestly sounds like an Orwellian hell. 

Musk's anti-news rant came just weeks after Reveal published a damning report about Tesla putting manufacturing above its employees' safety. Grimes tried to defend her new boyfriend, insisting that Tesla being anti-union was "fake news." When journalist Jessica Huseman called out Musk for his tweets, pointing out that Reveal is a nonprofit that doesn't compete for clicks, he threw a temper tantrum that turned into a months-long Twitter meltdown. 

No, they’re just some rich kids in Berkeley who took their political science prof too seriously

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 23, 2018

Like an angsty preteen who just feels misunderstood by society, Musk lashed out at everyone who criticized him. 

Then in June, Alex Arbuckle changed his Twitter display name to "Italian Elon Musk" and started blessing our feeds with parodies of Musk's tweets. 

Ayy!! I make a da rockets!!

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) June 16, 2018

Arbuckle isn't the first to spoof Elon Musk. The account Bored Elon Musk has been actively shitposting on Twitter for years. 

Digital counter in conference rooms that displays running sum of TIME ELAPSED x HOURLY RATE of all people in a meeting.

— Bored Elon Musk (@BoredElonMusk) April 16, 2015

Alarm that also starts a timer for how long you're allowed to f*** around on your phone after waking up.

— Bored Elon Musk (@BoredElonMusk) April 5, 2017

Arbuckle's version of Elon Musk was unique, though. While Bored Elon Musk made fun of Musk's ideas, like tweeting randomly specific but ingenious innovations, Arbuckle's Musk made fun of Musk himself. 

I love a my employee Sal, he spinna da dough like a no one else!! I had a to fire him because a he ask for a raise!! I say Sal, donna you have enough dough already? Prego!!

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) June 17, 2018

It got a lot of attention, and he even lost his Twitter verification for the bit. 

[when I get my verified checkmark removed by Twitter for doing a bit where Elon Musk is Italian] ayyyy whoopsy daisy

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) June 17, 2018

Italian Elon Musk's run was short, though — Arbuckle changed his name and profile photo after just five glorious days. 

"I ended the Italian Elon Musk bit after realizing I'd been de-verified by Twitter, because in my estimation that was the funniest possible way for the bit to end," Arbuckle wrote Mashable in an email. 

While Twitter users mourned the loss of one of the greatest bits of 2018, the real Elon Musk's social media meltdown continued. 

When 12 boys and their soccer coach got stranded in a flooded cave in Thailand, Musk jumped to the rescue. Sort of. He had a child-size submarine constructed so divers could pop a kid in, squeeze the metal tube through the cave's narrow passages, and safely deliver each child to dry land. Except, according to a BBC report, the head of the rescue mission called the baby sub just "not practical." While Musk was live-tweeting the mini submarine's development, human divers were actually rescuing the children one by one. 

Despite being a 47-year-old adult, Musk couldn't take the criticism. In another Twitter rant he responded to the BBC's report with screenshots of emails with the co-leader of the Thai rescue team. He followed up by claiming that his sub "could do the entire journey & demonstrate at any time." He topped it off by implying that "billionaire" is a slur, and when called out on that, bragged about the number of jobs he created.

Ironically, the “billionaire” label, when used by media, is almost always meant to devalue & denigrate the subject. I wasn’t called that until my companies got to a certain size, but reality is that I still do the same science & engineering as before. Just the scale has changed.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 10, 2018

No, it means I created jobs for 50,000 people directly and, through parts suppliers & supporting professions, ~250,000 people indirectly, thus supporting half a million families. What have you done?

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 10, 2018

Musk's response to lead diver Vern Unsworth calling his child submarine "just a PR stunt" that had "absolutely no chance of working" was icing on the cake. Unsworth is an avid caver who has extensive knowledge of the cave system the boys were stranded in. In a series of unhinged tweets — his magnum opus of Twitter rants — Musk called Unsworth "pedo guy" and claimed he "never saw this British expat guy who lives in Thailand (sus)." 

That's probably the Muskiest tweet Musk has ever tweeted. Arbuckle, now formerly known as Italian Elon Musk, said it best: "No conceivable parody could be funnier than calling a rescue hero a pedophile because he made fun of your waterproof space trash boy casket." 

To the people in my mentions telling me to bring back Italian Elon Musk: No. No conceivable parody could be funnier than calling a rescue hero a pedophile because he made fun of your waterproof space trash boy casket

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) July 15, 2018

He has a point — despite the multiple parody accounts that have popped up in the absence of our beloved Italian Elon Musk, none of them can sound as ridiculous as actual Elon Musk tweets. 

A week later, Twitter announced that it would start locking accounts whose display names said "Elon Musk." The company said that it was to prevent cryptocurrency scams, since lookalikes would comment under Musk's tweets promising that if Twitter users sent him Ethereum, he would send even more back. 

Twitter users joked that Elon Musk paid off the site so parody accounts would stop making fun of him. 

Elon Musk is such a petty bastard that he got an Italian spoof account of his banned from Twitter. How naive of him to think that will stop the internet from mocking him Rise French Élon Musque and take your Italian brother's place! pic.twitter.com/aNbmt5fRtG

— Culture Shots (@hjvinke) July 28, 2018

"targeting cryptocurrency scammers" is code for "elon forked out $2,000,000 to make sure Italian Elon Musk never resurfaces" https://t.co/9cOBzhXKYv

— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) July 26, 2018

Arbuckle has a different take: 

"Twitter locking accounts that change their name to Elon Musk is some extremely hilarious shit for a website that not only enables but actually verifies violent white supremacist organizations," he told Mashable, ending his email with a dig at Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey. "Terrific priorities, Jack."

French Elón Musque, who has since changed their name to @locallefties, was one of the first copycats who got popular in the weeks after Arbuckle said he wouldn't resurrect Italian Elon. They got around Twitter's new locking policy by changing up Musk's name. Through Twitter DM, they said, "i thought it might piss off elon musk which would be cool." 

i send ze baguette into space... i dont pay ze taxés... honhonhon...

— YOUR LOCAL LEFTIES (@locallefties) July 27, 2018

ze homeless man on ze street ask me “please monsieur musk spare some change my family is dying” i tell him “have you heard of ze hyperloop”

— YOUR LOCAL LEFTIES (@locallefties) July 28, 2018

ze tesla cars catch fire so zat you may easily toast your croissants

— YOUR LOCAL LEFTIES (@locallefties) July 28, 2018

With French Elón Musque leading the way, Swëdish Eløn Müsk, German Elon von Müsk, and South African Elon Musk rose from the ashes of Italian Elon Musk. 

Ï sjënd dë mætbals ïnto späcë, Ï døn’t pjay de täxes, bork bork

— Swëdish Eløn Müsk (@MuskSwedish) July 28, 2018

I am very socialist ja. I seek greatest good for all. Zats vy I ground ze factory verkers of Tesla Motorwagen into dust to reach ze production numbers for ze Model tree for my bonus.

— German Elon von Müsk (@DvonMusk) July 28, 2018

I sent a car into space!! I don't pay taxes!! Hahaha!!

— South African Elon Musk (@saelonmusk) July 28, 2018

Someone even came up with whatever the hell this version of Elon Musk is. 

Ị̘ ͚͎͈ba̠̺̜̤̬n̯̪̝̩̮̼i̟̘s̬̲̣͖̞ͅh̼̤e͙͇̠̯͉͍d̘̼ ̫̺̦a̤ ͔̦̗̟̘͎c̩͖a͔͎r̲͕͙̮̗ ̩̠̝̟̝̫ͅt͖͓̖̩o̗ ͔̳et̝e̯r̟na͎̱͉͔̮̫̰l͉̖͉̥̞̬̭ ̜̻͍dam̫͓̮̭̝n̠a͈͉t̻i͚̯̤͓̱̪ͅo͉̟ͅn̳̻̫̖ ͉̟̜I ̻̤̗̻̼̘̞d͇̹̟o̭̳̣͚̦̪̻n̠͈̦t͇͇̘̳ ͙ͅp̦̘͚͖̝̣a̹̳̞͙̼̭̮y͔ ̣t̤̹̪̳̭͚a̺͔͈̪xẹ̤͇̯̳̘̭s̹͖̪̘ͅ H̺͔͇͖̳̩̭a̞̥h̘̬̺̜͓̱̣a̗̤ha̝̞̖ḥa̻͕̗͈

— Elonmorsque of the Nine Hells (@elonmorsque) July 30, 2018

While Twitter users argued over whether or not the Elon Musk parodies were actually good, everyone could agree that the fake accounts were still more bearable than seeing actual Elon Musk tweets. 

french elon musk is considerably worse than italian elon musk but they're both infinitely better than original flavour elon musk

— robocop 2 (@newmoneytrash) July 28, 2018

what made italian elon musk funny is, it combined a classic trope (italian accent) with the spontaneity of its execution. what made french elon musk briefly funny was that it was homage. what made south african elon musk funny was format deconstruction. nothing else will be funny

— victim of reply guys every day on this horrid site (@D0GGEAUX) July 28, 2018

The Musk parodies, funny or not, played off national stereotypes. People worried that the accounts would take it too far and start being actively racist for the sake of making fun of Elon Musk. 

Stop making national stereotype Elon Musk accounts. You will never recapture the lightning in a bottle that was Italian Elon Musk and it's only a matter of time before someone slips out of ironic chauvinism and ends up doing something actually racist

— The Bionic Woman (@fireh9lly) July 28, 2018

Two accounts, @ElonMuskButGay and @ElonMuskButStr8, ended up tweeting cringey, offensive Musk parodies. At that point, accounts weren't even trying to be funny — the creators were just tweeting for the sake of hopping on the bandwagon. 

when the tides of war between the unfunny goobers riding the coattails of the italian elon musk account have finally subsided, these will be the only survivors left to tell the tale pic.twitter.com/nKhknSwQ3i

— Lilly, Host of the Florida Nightm🌟re (@GunstarHeroine) July 29, 2018

@locallefties dropped the French Elón Musque bit because "the joke got old and wasn’t fun anymore." They've been using their account, which now has over 52,000 followers, to promote work by LGBTQ artists and spread awareness of progressive causes. 

"We want to actually use our popularity to foster change rather than make harmless fun of some tech billionaire lol," they tweeted on Thursday. 

Arbuckle says he was on a remote island vacation with his family when the parodies started popping up. "I turned my phone on to see what was going on in the world and quickly turned it off and went diving for mussels. I did laugh at South African Elon Musk, though," he wrote. 

While parody Elon Musk accounts have died down in the past week, the real Elon Musk is still tweeting ridiculousness. On Wednesday, he put out a call for video game developers because he wants to add "super fun games" to Tesla's center touch screen. It would be something like Pokémon Go, but "more of an adults in cars anime vibe." 

Sounds dangerous but OK. 

If you’re into video game development, consider applying to Tesla. We want to make super fun games that integrate the center touch screen, phone & car irl.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 1, 2018

Something like that, but more of an adults in cars anime vibe

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 1, 2018

At this point, it's nearly impossible to parody Elon Musk because he keeps churning out wild tweets that will probably one-up any fake Musk account. But we can remember that for one glorious week in July, Twitter was overrun by Elon Musks. 

Editor's Note: Alex Arbuckle is a verified former employee of Mashable.

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