#thats so self centred but ive done so much and cared so much for so many ppl

[plantyboii28]

Finsihed GO2 yesterday and its taken me a while to put my thoughts into words but heres my (very long) takeaway from the end of s2:

[spoilers for the last 15 mins of 2.06 beneath the cut]

Whilst neil's 'quiet, gentle and romantic' feels now somewhat misleading i think it is accurate in a sense; its quieter than season one at least. Season one is more about these external pressures - it's the end of the world, obviously - but our focus really for much of the series is on aziraphale and crowley's relationship and how those pressures and that situation changes their relationship: pulls their desire to be with eachother, to be 'on their own side' into the open. And that's great, you know, that spurs on their relationship, but I think the conflixts of series 2 are - at least definitely by the end - far more internal, and whilst thats upsetting, I think its important because it exposes some of the flaws in their relationship, the things that they fundamentally dont align with eachother on. As nina and maggie point out, in all the 6000 years they've been spending time with eachother they dont properly communicate, they dont talk about their real feelings and perceptions of eachother, of heaven, of hell, etc.

What that final scene really shows is that aziraphale, whilst i dont think he is under any illusion about how cruel and flawed heaven can be, he still believes that angels are (or can be), and crucially that he is 'one of the good guys', and he cant get past this idea that hell and demons are 'the bad guys'. The part of crowley that he is really drawn to is his kindness, his refusal to actively harm people, and i think aziraphale doesnt understand how crowley wouldnt jump at the chance to be an angel again, he doesnt understand that falling affected crowley, it changed him - i think aziraphale almost wants crowley to go back to being that angel that we see at the start of series 2. In his eyes, what the metatron is offering him is the best possible solution, he can try to fix heaven himself from the inside - so that he can make a difference and protect both himself and crowley - and he can have crowley by his side as an angel, as one of the good guys.

Crowley on the other hand doesnt want that - he's done with heaven and hell alike, in fact he's very self-centred: not in the sense he only cares about himself, but his care only really extends to himself and aziraphale. And we see that throughout both series: hes ready to abandon the earth and go off to alpha centauri with aziraphale, and than this season with his reluctance at helping gabriel - hes so set on this idea of runninh away and he refuses to accept that aziraphale isnt ready to let go of heaven. Running away has never interested aziraphale, he doesnt want to abandon the earth - but crowley doesnt listen to that. The problem in this scene is that neither of them actually listen to what the other one is proposing.

I think, it's easy, or its very possible to come out of that final scene feeling like aziraphale is in the wrong - crowley has confessed his feelings and aziraphale's 'rejected' him, but actually thats not what happening at all. Throughout the scene, both of them are very clear that they love eachother, they want to be with eachother: see crowley's 'we could be an us' but also aziraphale's 'i need you... come with me'. So what they're disagreeing on is not the possibility of their relationship, its the circumstance.

And then... the kiss. The kiss is such a beautiful moment for me, not because i think its positive in any way, i actually think its almost uncomfortable to watch - you can see aziraphale recoiling almost, and yes theres a bit of a internal battle there as he goes to put his arms around crowley and then stops himself, but when they pull apart you can see he's almost angry. He wants it, yes, but hes angry at crowley for going about it in that way, at that moment. And that kiss, really its not a grand romantic gesture, its not a 'ive been hiding these feelings and this is the only way i can express them' - crowley's desperate, hes angry and this is really his last ditch effort, to tempt aziraphale, really. It's almost manipulative, its using something that couldve been beautiful, couldve been something they both wanted for a long time to bring aziraphale around to his side - to say 'look, look at what you're giving up here'.

Essentially, they have spent literally thousands of years failing to talk to eachother and a fall out like this (whilst it was absolutely devastating) is sort of required before they can truly be together.

[capellla]

im not really looking for a reading as such but general tips cause i seem to keep running into the same type of people and either they dislike me from the get go without giving me much chance or theyre superficial one sided arseholes who only really care about something if it benefit them and i cant tell if someone is genuinely a good person or someone hiding behind a facade nowadays.

cause for instance u can easily tell if they dont like u even just by how little they dont give u much of a response nor interaction personally but that still doesnt mean much? yet other times they seem interested and keen on socialising whilst others theyll have their phone out or i will be staring at someones forehead which isnt the nicest of feeling even if theyre not doing much and ive always felt this person or others always have to be in charge of a discussion if they arent the centre of it then they are uninterested or some are interested in what i say until someone esle derails from me and or they have a bad habit of interrupting me. and im like how did i end up with these ppl? ughhh.

whys it so hard just to get the respect of others even if they dont care about me or dislike me to some extent? its not like i need them to care for me or anything but like show some respect yaknow? cause a person can try to be interested in what ur saying yet they still have other intention or feelings towards u that are fake. if u are conversing with someone on their phone wouldnt u be a little miffed at it? yes weve all done it to an extent but at some point u have to either ask them if they have a problem with u or not lmao. idk if im complicting it or making it seem worse than it is but is it hard for people to just try better? it seems so. im not perfect either but like people actually suck cause they can do the whole ghosting thing and so many ppl generally are addicted to gossiping and other unhelpful ways that dont make u want to interact with them any further. r people just too vapid and unaware of how it looks or am i asking too much from people or am i bothering them because they can and will interrupt me often and to them its often no big deal if they do things to me. sighhh. sorry for rambling but id love to know ur thoughts on this and any tips or advices u have for making better social connections with ppl who seem hellbent on disliking u or whatever it is. its been that way since i was little ppl would seemingly make it difficult for me to get close with them or make snarky little comments about things that were obviously intentional. again cause i was young u dont have an awareness of it until u learn of somethings. maybe others will find this ramble useful or relatable too.

how would i be able to tell if someone genuinely has terrible listening skills or if theyre really self absorbed? readings have helped in some cases but it still doesnt give much advices besides that i need to keep an eye out for the people around me but then it gets tiring having to always be hypervigilant and wary of whos acting in what way towards me or whos using what tone do they sound bored? etc, which ive felt has been going on for years and only now am i being wary of it and whos doing what when im interacting with them or trying too. id just like to sometimes be able to relax around others yet some part of me is always thinking when something is going on is it just trying to get my reaction and emotions from it? again sorry for rambling but some advice would be useful atp. cause im done with putting so much into someone who aint going to give a damn if im speaking to them or not. i might as well be around nobody than fake somebodies who dont like me.

and i cant count the amount of weirdness from these situations either its either the vibes or them or something thats going on that im not supposed to know about loads of fake coughing shit, seeing weird things when im out pointless petty gossiping etc. it gives distraction tactics honestly so they can ruin my social life too. its like every time im going out somewhere to enjoy something or trying to do well its just weird things that occur that dont make no sense cause they dont want me to be doing well.

People are brazen, hypocritical, superficial, liar, shameless, empty, heartless... I could list more. To be honest, I don't know that much either because I grew up far away from people, I was alone most of the time, and the universe somehow brought me people who were compatible with me or who I thought were so at that moment. What I mean by compatible is that I have always managed to see the good in people and I managed to learn from them. It is important to learn to be alone in this century because there is another thing: the more your awareness increases, the more lonely you feel. People don't know, and they don't know what they don't know either. It's very annoying when the other person gets caught up in stupid details and gossip when there is so much love and goodness inside of you. I still don't know why, there is a curtain between people and no one dares to lift that curtain.

I would like to hear the opinions of other people who follow my blog because unfortunately I cannot give good advice on this matter.

[doebt]

o my GOD can u IMAGINE being anything other than criminally depressed. can u imagine thinking, 'hey, today was really good' or even 'today was better than yesterday' or EVEN 'today was terrible but at least this one good thing happened' ... i cant

[foodhx]

I havent written in a very long time. Im grateful i wrote previously and have something to look back on. So much has changed. S and i broke up. Its been more than a year, depending on how you count it, maybe 1.5 yrs.

Im not sure where im going with this, or in life. There were things i believed in before, had hope and ideals. I havent any hope now, i dont know what to hope in (apart from God). Its been like this for a while. What does it look like to hope in God now?

Ive ended up in a specialty i didnt plan on going into. What’s done is done. But the learning point is, it would have been better to take more time to rotate around before deciding, because it was an emotional, impulsive decision (felt way too rushed, i knew this even at the time of applying). It wasnt a peaceful decision, the way such “life-defining” decisions should be made. It was an emotional time - literally six days after S sent that message to break up with me, my boss texted to ask if i was still interested in applying. Im deeply grateful for the opportunity he gave me which i didn’t and don’t deserve. I should have a word with him at some point. On a side note, im deeply grateful that this dept and the people i work with now are mostly of incredible Godly character, a very unique and irreplaceable quality in a workplace.

So much has fallen apart. My career, and the relationship with the person who became my best friend over the course of 7-9 years. It felt unreal, standing there watching everything explode. I couldnt believe what was happening. I never expected things to explode this way. I never expected myself to leave, and i never expected him to leave. He didn’t mean to be cruel, but i experienced it as such, through the whole months of me begging. Especially at the point where he physically walked out on me and closed the door when i was crying hysterically - not to be overdramatic, but it felt like pure coldness to do that to my uncontrollably hemorrhaging heart (like watching that aorta spurting on cardiothoracics). He still thinks choosing not to carry on is right and directed by God, which i doubt. He declined reconciliation despite months of my sincere apologies, pleading with him and my attempts to remediate where i screwed up (he hasn’t made an effort to reconcile with me in 1.5 yrs, cos he’s lost faith in our relationship and, it seems, me, entirely. Unfair as it might feel, that’s the way he feels). All in all, the break up was devastating. I’m still disoriented and trying to find my feet.

Ive significantly lost respect for him, because of his choice not to carry on and to, well, give up on us. I feel that this was more an emotional decision than a decision based on a true seeking of God, true dying to self and true obedience, especially to certain biblical instructions (love your neighbour as yourself, in humility value others above yourself, the relationship as an expression of love for Christ “what you did to the least of these you did to me” rather than a competition for love for Him, 1cor13).

I feel his decision to give up, abandon and betray is not biblically based, even if it can be justifiable by a twist of verses (he justifies not carrying on as him “putting God first”). I feel his decision was driven more by his hurt that i broke up with him, over text, last feb, and my cheating on him in july, than a real, honest, self-challenging attempt to “put God first”. I feel the decision not to carry on came more from his hurt over what i did to him than a true excavation of what it means to obey God and seek Him first. Its not necessary to leave someone whom youve built up a relationship with in order to put God first. Its arguable that being there for one’s friends IS putting God first, rather than leaving them because you can’t deal with it emotionally (greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends).

E says that its never so simple as “i heard it from God”, its all a mix of (sometimes sinful) human emotions as well as right-minded intention to follow God. How much of this move is driven by God vs his own human uncontrollable emotions? I doubt he’s admitted the whole truth to himself or me.

But i think his hurt is valid. It definitely is. He says he still doesnt feel whole coming out of 2019 and how i broke things off with him over text in feb and how i cheated in july. I’m not sure what he feels because i cant identify, but he says he doesnt want to deal with the pain with me because it was caused by me, and he’s not ready to talk to me (“can’t deal with it”). He tried to forgive me at the time, attending counselling with me, but gave up after 2 sessions. So i guess i can believe there may be a part of him that could want to work towards a friendship at some point (tho this is thrown into doubt at times, because of our apparent fundamental and irreconciliable differences). On my end, I feel that ive given him the benefit of the doubt many times, and hes always disappointed me in this process, since the break up. He’s never showed up or been the bigger person.

I could give him time, or i could end things. I could give him time to process what he needs to, and give him the chance to potentially engage with me the right way at some time in the future.

Should i, though?

Well, yes and no. Part of me knows he will only ever disappoint me cos thats all hes ever done consistently. The other part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and just let him process things in his own time because its destructive to operate with such cynicism. One is overly cynical, the other is overly hopeful, and both responses arent centred.

Overall i just dont want to think about this anymore. I just want this whole thing out of my mind.

But is that enough for me to cut him out completely and forever? When i ask him, he replies that he wants to be friends but doesn’t know how or when that could happen. He isn’t at all invested in this “friendship”, even if he says its what he wants. He thinks God needs to encourage it or something before he will put in the effort... its all so screwed up cos of his ridiculous view or way of hearing from God that’s so mystical and non-bible based. I honestly feel really disgusted by him. He has been asking me not to contact him for a long time, more than a year. I’ve agreed to honour that. Mainly out of an understanding that he’ll never change, and ive outgrown him and his cuckoo ideas about how to hear from God. I know even if we become friends in the future, he’s gonna be the exact same dud - and why would i want to go back to that? Even as a friend. My basic requirements for friendship are that i respect the person and they respect me back. He absolutely does not respect me, and i absolutely dont respect him. Even tho we pay lip service to each other in emails for the sake of appearing holy and peace loving, we each are 100% convinced we know better. I don’t see a friendship here. I see disgust. I see contempt. Its beyond repair. And theres no instruction from God to repair it. So it will lie unrepaired for life.

Thinking about him makes me get into unpleasant thoughts and feelings. I dont have the exact words to describe how i feel. Not quite just anger (im over the peak of that), not really sadness (i do feel its sad that i still care about him and think about him so much when he wants nothing to do with me and wants me to not contact him - i mean, i dont have a practice of asking people not to contact me indefinitely, i think its rude, unfair and cruel), not just superiority cos i do admit i dont know everything and God works in mysterious ways and He still establishes a relationship with S even tho there is likely disobedience and misguidedness in S that he may never ever come to realize in this life). Its not purely a sense of betrayal as i walked out first - i knew he wasnt what i wanted, cos he wasnt loving me, or kind, or Christlike in his countenance towards not just me but everyone around us. I shouldnt just have walked out i should have pointed us to God, but there you have it. I dont regret ending things cos i know if i had continued we would be in a worse place than we are in now, where im stuck in an unhappy relationship out of obligation and fear of being alone. Its better to not be in a relationship than to be in one where you arent respected or loved.

I would say this whole event has had an impact on my relationship with... effort and commitment? Knowing you can try your best and have everything still fail. I used to believe in the “power of my dreams”. That i could get anything i wanted if i wanted it enough. But ive learnt that where the outcome is dependent on things outside my control (eg other people, genetics, politics), just trying my best and bringing my best intentions isnt enough. Its something but it doesnt guarantee an outcome - nothing can. You can say God can guarantee an outcome, but i would be cautious to believe only what He’s given in the bible and some revelations that are consistent with that and have been confirmed by wiser believers than myself, and those who know me well.

I have to hope again. And i have to stop wallowing and being selfpitiful. No. I have to hold myself to a higher standard.

The between places.

To focus on the next right thing - passing anatomy and being punctual. Seeking God, esp in my work...

[the-fiction-witch]

Surgery (This World Of Ours)

REAL LIFE:  x post-apocalypse COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SAD + SLIGHTLY SMUTTY

WARNING: THIS is sad sorry gonna warn you to cause lots of sad for not liking self 

when we arrived we were ushered into a room and Alice taken off somewhere I don't know where it was a large room almost the size of the flat back home with a large double bed in the centre and a door leading to an on sweet bathroom both me and Thomas un-pack out few belongings from the flat and sit on the bed "well this is going well" he says "Yeah" I sigh "I wonder where they took Alice" I ask "she's okay Darling, Alice is a good little girl" he says wrapping an arm around me till a man in white clothes enters our room and informs us to follow him he leads us to a small room with two medical beds in a and a woman on a chair with a pen in her hand the man then left and the woman shut the door "morning sir, madam" she says looking us both up and down "well when they say you needed work I didn't think it would be this much" she sighed "well sit down both of you and strip" she says "what?" I ask "Sorry, please strip sir and madam," she says "no why?" I ask "I'm your surgeon you two are in no way the correct look to run this place" she says "Now please strip down to underwear is fine" she says we both then do as we are told sitting on a bed in our underwear while she scans us with her eyes "Thomas you first stand in front of the mirror" she says he does as he's told I can see both him and his mirror reflection I can see he's not to happy as the woman circles him like a vulture her pen in her hand thinking "well the face is handsome no changes needed there" she says moving his face with her hand "we will have to do something about this though" she says hitting his stomach "your developing a fatness we will fix that" she says writing on him with her pen circling his stomach "how did that happen is it natural or eating too much" she asked "I may have eaten a bit more while Y/n was expecting Alice" he emits. he did when I was pregnant he eat more than I did "then we can defiantly fix that" she says before walking around him again "not a lot of form" she says more to herself I don't like the way she's looking at him likes he's a piece of meat needing to be trimmed and fixed "but we can add some muscles beef you up a bit" she says drawing all over his arms and legs "and we can add this" she says drawing a six-pack on him "but to add al that we will have to alter" she says drawing a dotted line around his neck and down his back then putting the lid back on her pen and walking around him one last time "you can sit back down now" she says to him I can tell he's not to happy she then moves and gets an unopened back of pens "Alright y/n here please your the one that really needs work" she says I then do as I'm told standing in front of the mirror as she circles me trying to shut my eyes not wanting to see myself "right" she sighs "this all needs to go" she says drawing around me anwhere she can find any fat at all "I know women gain wait durring pregancy but this is ridiculous how long have you been like this", she asks "as long as I can rememeber ive never been thin im a big person" I say trying not to cry "there is not such thing" she says sternly " as a big person, you gain weight as a choice its not just something that randomly occours, and by god all of you is fat im not sure theres really a human there just a mountin of fats" she says to me im trying so hard not to cry my eyes out "all thsee need to be fixed" she says scribbleing out my streach marks "and this needs to go in alot" she says drawing round my waist "this needs reducing" she says drawing on my neck again "luckily its a pretty face under all the fats and freckels we will need to take them out" she says "NO" I hear Thomas shout behind me he emmediatly comes and stands beside me in the mirror "I have heard a lot to day but thats my line, you do not change her face" he says to her "im sorry she is going to be the face of the world see must be the perfect picture of beauty this is not beauty" she says girpping my face "I dont care you leave her face alone" he says to her "fine" she sighs before walking out leaving me and Thomas along looking into the mirror at the things they where going to do to us I just start to cry I dont like myself I attmit but it is me its not them changeing how we look there changeing who we are Thomas has never had mucsel even if he often wanted them ive allways been a big girl there taking that away from us Thomas just takes me in his arms "it's okay Darling, I love you like this, but no matter what they do it wont make me love you anless" he says to me giving me a kiss on the head till some men entre the room they dont speech to us they just hand us white clothes like lab coats we both take them and put them on as one indicates for us to sit on the beds then the woman comes back "please sit we need to take you down to the theartre" she says we both hesitently sit on the beds as they give us both and injection and with in a few seconds im asleep. when I wake up im in a small room with a single door and another bed beside me the bed beside me is all ascue like someones allready gotten out of it I get up slowly as all of me feels strange and walk out the door it leades to a large room with two large mirrors and two rachs of white clothes on each side of the room in one mirror stands Thomas in his underwear looking very happy he has mucsles now and has lot the weight he gained before he hasnt yet noticed im there as I step closer I can hear him talking "wow, im so sexy, Thomas. you. are. hot," and things to that effect he keeps repeating to himself "you coud make any woman climax just by taking off your shirt" he says to himself  "well I hope you dont use that super power for evil Thomas" I say to him he turns to look at me and smiles "hey Darling" he says "hello" I say walking so I'm stood behind him and wrap my arms around him "you look grand" I tell him "thank you" he says "but I want to see my baby girl" he says flipping me around so I’m infront of the mirror with him behind me he slowly takes off the white coat from me showing what they have done to me I'm much thinner now and so much fo me is gone my stretch marks are all gone every inch of me looks like a super model my skin has been fixed to its no longer blotchy and off colour in places my body looks beautiful for once my body is something I wouldn't mind people seeing but I feel a lot like I have lost a part of who I am in a way "oh my god" he says in suprise before he just stands and yarks at me "Thomas your drooling" I say as I can see he's droling at me "sorry your just wow" he says "awe thank you" I say the then flips me around so im facing him and leant against the mirror "theres less of you to love Baby but I do like it" he says slyly "I think it will take me a while to get used to you like this" I say running my hand down his chest to feel the way he is now and his new abb's "I do like them" I giggle "trust me go a bit lower and you'll be in for a suprise" he smirks I then do so my hands resting on his boxers god what the hell did they do to him "holy shit" I say "yeah I don’t know what they did, and I don’t know how long it's gonna be like that" he says “but im sure you can find somthing to do with it” he smirks 

“I have a Few Idea’s” I smirk kissing him and he pushes me against the mirror and grinding agianst me 

“uhh this is amazing” he moans as we kiss till suddenly the door opened interupting us

[11toe11-blog]

oNce again on that sTreet

I suppose I am at a point where, i need to sit down and draw this out of me. Clean the well.

Shuba asked me yesterday. Why dont i write. I do. Almost every other day. About something or the other. As observations. Contemplations. Very rarely once in a while meanders into poetry and almost never creative fiction.

I am...afraid of fiction.

There i said it. 

I suppose then its corollary goes that I am afriad of reality. Maybe. 

But let me start with fiction and try and lean into the obvious and apparent fear of fiction. As i write i notice a weight, a clenching in the middle of my chest. And rolling up to my throat. 

But lets persist this one time. 

I am making it a point to note the very obvious physical sensations as i write. 

So yes, fear of fiction.

Yesterday Rajiv shared a talk between Marina Abramovic and Alejandro I ( I forget the surname but the same guy who made birdman). Talkin about Virtual Reality as the next frontier of creative exploration after film, he mentioned about how the human brain makes no distinction between reality and fiction. Obviously more so in case of VR, but garden variety novels and comic strips and books and stories and theatre and film and all of that fall into that space where the brain makes no distinction between what is my reality lived and expereinced and, even if briefly the story of another. From experience i know, some of us are better than others at extricating ourselves from the story we entered to continue walking in the present, many of us carry the seeds and suggestions of te story, and many many of us  remain in the story. 

That makes stories very powerful and dangerous.

That makes story tellers very powerful and dangerous.

Layers and layers of stories wrapped around. Layers and layers of memories. Layers and layers of connections. Gateways of infinite possibilities on one had. And very own, home spun energy leeching coccoon on the other.

My brain particularly has had difficulties distinguishing stories and reality. Ive grown up with stories. Like most kids. Like most kids who loved loved listening and reading to stories and were surrounded by generous adults who lavished attention as stories of adventures great and small, stories read or retold or instantly woven.

By the time i started on film, I could watch a movie. And sit then later sit and play the whole thing back and watch it in my mind. My own personal Netflix. I could run it when ever i was alone - in the loo, before i slept, when i woke up, yada.

After my sexual encounter with an older cousin at the age of 8 years, these films began to have distinct sexual content too. I could replace characters. Mix up relationships.  Easily enter relams of taboo.  So while outwardly i was struggling with the shame and social anxities and adaptation, my inner world and ofcourse my body demanded the thrill of the grind. That heightended feeling when one could rub ones vagina against something. A swollen penis covered by denim, a leg, a thigh, another vagina, pillow.

Well, given a young girl in kerala, i am sure you can imagine the confusion of the middle class family facing their own share of social and emtional hardships. The school that preffers children like a batch of uniformed cupcakes. Encountering this strange child who seemed wild and untamable. Plenty of trashings and socail embarassments and isolations.

Ofcourse not to mention, adventures. And misadventures.

I suppose since my mind could go anywhere, into any restricted area, physical restrictions made no sense. I remember dreaming up a story of the romance between two of my young teachers, both married to different people. Can you beleive the thrashing i got when i started telling these stories and it finally reached my teacher.

Or of imaging the sex lives of the young Brahmin couple with a child and parents living with them. I imagined them waking up after everyone had gone to bed and first the guy would make his way to the bathroom aoutside and then the wife would follow him. And there they would have steamy sex, have a quiet shower together and sneak back into the house. 

I was happily making porn even before internet.

Well. I suppose so was the rest of the state, i suppose. The older i grew, i dont think i accepted it because i probably had drawn a veil of self-propriety, most of the people around me too were living out imgained sexual fantasies. That was hard to accept. 

Like knowing that my father had affairs of sorts, or walking into him holding the handsof the servant girl in the darkest corner of the house and him suddenly making a scene about her having not done some work and her giggling. Or my mother hinting constantly at my fathers transgressions and waywardness, possibly to allay her own pressures and guilt of pleasures. 

Knowing that my mother lied to me about her relationship with her best friend...what was simple and liberal suddenly turned murky. And murkier when she had a strange toxic sexual relationship with the substaff in her office. Depiste the sick sadomachotistic territory it went through and put all of us through, the class-lessness also  mattered to me too i suppose. And years of silence and protecting honor and holding the family together and all those things

A simultaneous tightening and release of the chest.

Why did i  meander into this dark alley? Because stories are full of dark alleys. The mind is full of dark alleys. How to shine some light could be what stories are about. 

BUt then, in the hands of some, its possible to turn off the lights too with stories.

In my adult identity, i am surrounded by storytellers. Not passively as a book full of shelves or a netflix account. But the creators - film makes, illustrators, theatre makers, movers, singers, spiritual seekers, dream makers. At briefly before - journalitsts, PR gus, activists, hope makers. And before that colleges/ schools - naarative makers.

So yea, I am surrounded by storytellers. I chose this, obviously. I chose in my life path to be surrounded by storytellers. Yet i want nothing to do with them . 

As much as a part of me years to play and spin with them. Another part of me is terrified of them.

The tricksters.

Who can make one buy into anything. Any idea. Lose ones self in a moment. 

Offer ones mind on a platter. Mind and energy. 

I doubt their intentions.

What do they want my attention for?

What are they going to do with all this attention they are getting? All this fuel they draw out of people and surroundings, what are they offering it to? Whose altar do they worship?

Obviously i havent never articulated these out aloud.

 I would be without friends. Well over time i have ver very few anyways. So thats hardly the problem. I suppose the reasin i have never articulated this out aloud is probably beacuse, the three fingers point at me. I suspect corruption, because i have seen corruption within me.

The creating and dismantling of identities, hunting for attention, people becoming pawns, ambition, self obsession, narcissism, vacume. Addiction to the drama. 

A vehicle, for the archtypes to do their dance. Chewed and spat out and regenerated and chewed and spat out and gathering sharrered pieces of life only to be chewed again. Reminds me of the moringa. BUt clearly the moringa is not complaining. I am. 

Some part of me has had enough. With the circus. The puppet life.

Another part of is there, waiting in the wings on my toes to be swept in.

While i was always curious about the mind, i suppose it was never with this focus, this drive to tame it. And somewhere even in that i know i am still dancing, even if it appears like a non-dance. Kalari, Vipassna, Tai Chi, Tantra, Ramana. Even art therapy.

All of it is for self knowledge. And ofcourse the practises are taking one there, otherwise how else would this note have been possible. Though in my attitude, i am at war. There is a war for awareness and attention. I am at war with my mind. Even as i write it, i know how futile it is - same dog pulling at opposite ends of the same bone. How? Dog will go hungry. Period. 

Meaningless.

I suppose the idea is to trust ones self. And self will take care of the mind. So in effect, even trust the mind because one has already trusted ones self. But my mind has gotten me into so much trouble, made friends with the craziest of archetypes that i am afriad. Yes, i am afriad of it. That it will get me into trouble again. I wont be able to distinguish  and centre. And another archtype will possess and ride me. And my mind, will let it.

And all over again, i will lose my sense of self.

Pain. Confusion. Loss of dignity. Loss of stability. All of that i associate with that. And i am just resurfacing after one recent round. Brinks of insanity.

I suppose that is why i practise and hold on to the forms that have come to me. Kalari, Vipassana, Tai Chi. Thy have travelled through time. Stood the tests of the mind to anhilate them. And with them, Ill hopefully be able to fashion a key. To keep me safe.

Lightening of chest

There i said it. And i see that i am clinging. All this, to be safe. And if it is clinging to safety, it is the ego. Which wants to be safe. The mind wants to be safe from itself. Hirlarious!

Like puppet theatre. One hand plays red riding hood and the other hand plays the big bad wolf.

Distracting me from the puppeteer. 

Why?

If i see the puppeter ill want to be the puppeteer?

Deep breath

I know i have a blindspot. Somewhere. And my attention moves from being the red riding hood or the wolf or the chase. Maybe if i was able to spot the blind spot, ill get to be the puppeter.

The puppeteer who either a good guy or a bad guy, being puppetered in a meta play. In a meta play. Loop. 

Theatre of Earth.

It endless. And no way out. 

Yes, way. Buddha way.

But that doesnt seem to be my question now.

It seems to be, how do i get to play the playwright in one of the plays, at whever level. What is there to lose. Its all only a play. 

Playwright. Setting the frame for the magic. Or witch craft as someone in the comment section of the Marina- Alejandro talk said. Fiddling with the Tao. Not letting nature be. Not letting it be, but manipulating it. Power play. 

The fundamantal question posed by monotheistic practises to the tantric/multi - must the mindscape be meddled with? 

BUt then, unless we are in a continuus state of observation - are we continously always meddling with the mindscape one way or the other? Setting intention , desiring outcomes. God on No God. Arent we taking part in changing the play, upstaging the director, the playwright one way or the other.

Isnt every upstaging also written into the meta play?

What is one to do?

To do or not to do?

Even non doing actively is still doing - reminds ramana.

In flow, even doing feels like non doing - from expereince.

In earlier attempts to create full length work. Infact in earlier writings big or small, iremember most of it being largely dark, and  not wanting to share / put out there the very dark ones. 

My first play, petticoats still sits in paper after many rewritings.Because i couldnt bring myself to put much dark ness out there. Because in the process of rewiting it, i felt i had given into something very dark and powerful, and expereinced wanting to manipulate - lash out at the audience. Expereinced being manipulated - my own life giving way at the seams and lines got blurred.

Powerful forces, i have now come to understand. 

Similar experience with the art therpay project too.

And now a word to get a sense of it - archetypes. 

But hey! I survived. I am writing this am i not. So what am i scared of? The pain and agony and confusion. Losing balance. Giving into the dark egoistic mind.

Somewhere the mind gents hijacked - i stop being the story teller / reseacher and becomes a character - self obsessed and seeking power. One of the default slip intos.

So what am i saying?

So basically, i am/you are saying, i/you want to open this door. But i know this dragon awaits behind it. I have lost it, been mauled by it multiple times. And i am shit scared of opening that door and being mauled. 

Is there a way for me to tame the dragon?

Or should i just walk away from the door and forget all about the dragon. There is a very good chance that it might reappear else where.  Atleast in this case, it is a known devil.

My sisters instagram post just read “ My friend is an artist. And he likes my company. Do i need more validation?” 

A muse, channeler of inspiration. One has been that. But that didnt suffice. I want to be “one of them”, clearly. Yet, i want nothing to do with them clearly.

Do i weild a tool, a weapon or not. 

If i weild it, i can choose not to use it.

If i dont weild it?

I suppose there is so much ego still left in me, that i dont want to play second fiddle. I want my own sunshine. 

Or ……..

Lets look at it another way

is it an exercise is self discovery self knowlege? Then the entire approach is observational - comprehend and understand and question the self - rather than say and state.

An enquirey. v/s An expression

All enquireys are expressions

All expressions need not be enquireys

What is the fundamental question - Abhishek had asked. In my first playwrighting process.

I thought, at that time, that it had to be an intelligent question

Today after a decade of life, i understand that to be - What is the question i am/you are/ one is seeking to find an answer to? What are you grappling with? Articulate it into a question the best you can and explore it the medium of writing aplay. Use your imagination - to move characters- change them, puppeterr - but remember the essence - it is not for you to gain power. Play god, no and then let it go into your head. And be devoured by your own demon. No. Thats happened enough now. So we now know what not to do. And what this is not. 

Now the essence is to - very clearly, scientifically - explore humbly. Approach your gift of imagination - humbly. Opening the door gently. Entering softly - EVERY TIME. With great respect.

And work / play there with the questions. 

And quietly and humbly leave. Taking no more. Demanding no more that thevery process of observation and meaning making.

Reminds me of sandplay.

In the 6 pages and 2 hours, i feel a certain reassurance. I feel like i have asked, without really knowing how to ask. And have been answered to.  Quietly.

Keep the frame wide. And work fiercely to be regular. But with gentleness. And deep honesty. 

Go on and write. 

You can make meaning in many ways for yourself. Writing is one of your earliest tools. Use it to make friends with the dragon behind the door.

You have a very solid physical practise to ground yourself, to navigate the storms. The body practice and the garden. Trust that.

Between the two, the earthing of the physical discipline and access to the mindscapes, you will start finding meaning.

That itself is the purpose. To find meaning.

Remember to enter mindscape, imagination only after knocking on its door. And to close the door behind you as you leave. 

It is the great seas. You know that already. Offer her respects. She will test you to see if you have come/become greeedy. Remind her and yourself that youve come for meaning. ANd truth.

Meaning is truth after all. Layers stacked up, coinciding for a perfect opening. Insight.

Where is love in all this? I wondered

What is not love? Pat comes the answer.

[beardedwinnerobject-blog]

Need a home insurance that cover my dog.?

"Need a home insurance that cover my dog.?

I live in California.  I have Akita and state farm wont insure me because I filed a claim before.  Is there any other insurance company that will cover me and my dog?  Thanks

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I am 16 and I want to know if the car is expensive for insurance. I'm a guy too. And I don't need the I shouldn't have that car crap. I just want answers please I don't need your opinions I can afford the car.

Which insurance company is best ?

im 15 going on 16 and i need car insurance im getting either geico which is my mom's insurance or farmer's which is my dad's my mom had farmers but farmers is too expensive the car i will be driving is a 2000 Nissan Sentra SE (automatic) http://www.edmunds.com/flipper/do/MediaNav/styleId=9585/firstNav=Gallery it looks exactly like the red one except its green and it has brown leather seats and a new radio system :]] its my brothers old car he hardly uses it since he has a brand new 2008 Nissan Altima so my Sentra is free :]] my dad will probably pay for my car stuff .or they will split it . i live in a city around the houston area . p.s can you give me your guess of how much i will be paying a month for insurance or perhaps every 6 months ? and which insurance company should i get ? p.s idk if this helps but my mom drives a 2004 Infiniti G35 Sedan and my dad drives a 2001 Jaguar XJ8 .

Car Insurance -civil court?

My friend was at fault as she rear end another vehicle causing minor damage to the vehicle in front of her. She is now being sued by the insurance comp of the other driver in the civil court for driving in a negligent manner. Wouldnt this be covered under her insurance company? Why is she paying for the insurance in the first place?

Car insurance for men vs. women?

I was debating with a male that all other things equal that female car insurance is typically less then males. He was arguing that its the other way around. Who pays more for car insurance, men or women? And is there a accurate website I can look at for these statistics?""

How can I get car insurance?

Let me give some more information. I'm 18 years old, female, live in NJ and need to buy my own car and insurance soon.""

Driving a car with no insurance and no plates help?

im going to buy a car tonight, can i get in trouble for driving it to my house with no plates and insurance""

How much average premium for Car insurance....?????

i need some basic info... about car insurance..in NJ STATE... record is clear and 3 years exp....need to know average range... Most of people paying.......

How can i get cheaper car insurance?

How can i get cheaper car insurance?

""What is the least expensive car insurance in Thousand Oaks, California?

Thanks!

DUI in CA - how much will my car insurance go up?

I was convicted of a DUI and soon I'll be eligible for a resticted license. I have to have an ignition interlock device installed, and file an SR-22 with my insurance company (Anchor General Insurance). I have not told them yet as I am not yet eligible. I called and they said that they do accept people with DUIs. I am currently paying $77 per month for full coverage. I'm male, 29 years old. How much can I expect my insurance cost to rise once I file the SR-22?""

Car & Health Insurance?

How pathetic of a country are we, that car insurance is mandatory, even criminal if we don't have it, yet health insurance is not? What does this say about us as a society?""

Bike insurance for a cbr 600?

i live in halifax nova scotia in a rural area and was woundring how much it would cost just for plpd i allready have a bike witch is a 200cc and it cost me 300 and some odd dollors for the year woundring how much it would be for a cbr 600 year around 1998-2005 and i took a drivers course for bike and car and been with my insurance company for about a year now for my bike would they give me any speacials. also i have gotten no tickets or crashed got a clean slate.

Need a home insurance that cover my dog.?

I live in California.  I have Akita and state farm wont insure me because I filed a claim before.  Is there any other insurance company that will cover me and my dog?  Thanks

""I am moving from NJ to FL, what steps do i take to get florida plates, insurance, and registration?

I have a 2010 Hyundai Elantra. Which do i do first? What are the fees for each?

""What is the best way to find cheap car insurance if Ur 21. Ive tried all the comparison sites, help??? ?

I've tried all the comparison sites but I'm getting a really high quote.

How do I get health insurance if im 17 and not living in the same state as my parents?

Im a 17 year old male and im moving from Georgia to California. I need health insurance and im trying to figure out if I can stay on my parents health insurance until im 21 or do I have to get something else? please help

Affordable Dental Insurance? Can it be true?

I recently lost my job. I would like a separate dental insurance plan besides my basic health insurance. I wonder if anyone else is feeling the pain like me. Any suggestions?

""Just passed driving test, 22 yr oldwhere should i go for cheapest insurance quote.?""

Just passed driving test, 22 yr oldwhere should i go for cheapest insurance quote.?""

Cheaper auto insurance if my parents add me to their policy?

I'm 20, financing a car.""

Average motorcycle insurance?

I'm 22 and I pay right at 100 a month for insurance. How much does a regular sports bike cost to add insurance on? I know it depends on the bike but for like a GSXR 600.

Provisional insurance to full licence insurance?

I'm 18 years old and I am 2 (and abit) months away from taking my driving test. If I take out provisional car insurance can I change my insurance to full once I have passed my test? The reason why I want provisional insurance is because I heard it was cheaper, then once I pass my test I would only have to pay 10 months of full licence insurance, correct? But anyway how much it cost me to increase my premium from provisional to full licence insurance?""

Estimate on drivers insurance?

Hello, i'm 16 years old and about to get my licence any ideas on how much insurance would cost me? My family has Allstate and i can qualify for the good student discount.""

Victim of car insurance fraud?

last year i had the police turn up at my door saying that i had hit a car roof with a claw hammer i didn't no what they was going on about i did not get arrested and they left, few days later i got a insurance letter thur the post saying that i had collided with a bmw and drove off leaving the seen, there insurance paid him out 5000, i spoke to my insurances and said i don't no what is going on they asked for pictures off my car i sent them, i phoned the police and asked them they said there is no further action is to be taken as the person as dropped the chargers, so i phoned there insurance and they said we are waiting for police reports, i said the police are not taking it any further as the person as he had dropped the chargers, they did not believe me and wanted me to pay 3500 in 14 days i said no, i lost 3 years no claims and my premiums went up, i just had to wait for months :( i got a letter today off there insurance saying we have had the police reports and there is no further action against me or my insurances... ok what will happen to the person what made up this lie to his insurance as he told the police one thing and his insurance another??????""

Car insurance while buying a car.?

I live in Washington and i plan on buying a car, $700 cash. Do i have to have insurance to drive it off the lot? or can i just go without insurance, i'm not financing or anything, paying full price.""

Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?

Is Progressive really cheaper then the other insurances? i have allstate right now.?

How much would car Insurance be for a 16 year old girl?

I live in Michigan. Thank you :)

Financing a car & insurance?

I'm 21 and I'm located in NYC the insurance over here is sky rocket high. I paid 1600+ for liability insurance for a old lexus from GEICO. I am asking my uncle to help me finance a 2006 bmw 530i which is about 32k and I already check if I finance under my name how much it would be. It is 10k for insurance a year lol... So I want to know if my uncle finance the car for me and I make the payments does he have to add my name under the insurance ? I don't need my name to be the co signer. I just want to know incase I do get into an accident what will happen ? Most people use their parent's insurance so I just want to make sure and get some facts before I ask my uncle. Thanks

I got a speeding ticket and no insurance?

well my insurance was expired when i got the ticket. so when i renew it will it still go up?

Where can i find affordable short-term health insurance?

I am not sure what to do about health insurance after I graduate from college (in a few months). I know that I am going to need some time to job hunt (my field is very competitive) and I would also like to do some volunteer work before I start my career. Problem is, if I am not a full-time student, my parents' health insurance won't cover me, and if I don't or can't find a job with benefits right away, I will be left uninsured. Any ideas where I can get affordable health insurance for short-term (no more than a year and a half) ??? Thanks!""

Should I have my own insurance while using someone else's car?

The other person owns the car and has it insured in his name but is allowing me to use it until I can get another car. Should I or even can I have my own insurance policy on his car? I live in Michigan and my previous car was hit and totaled. Trying to buy/finance another car after only working full time again since Feb. is near impossible.

Average 600cc Sportbike Insurance in Canada?????

I am 21 and have Full G license for 5 years and M2 license for one year. Clean record and thinking of purchasing a brand new bike of 600cc for around $10000. What do you recken my insurance be approximetaly??????????? Thank You for your replies........

""Which is generally cheaper to insure, Saturn or Neon (90's models)?""

I am looking at liability insurance, and I only have one point on my record, which may actually have dropped of now. Just generally which would be cheaper to insure.""

""Can I own a car, but be covered under my mom's insurance policy?""

Im 17, and I live in Indiana. Right now I own a car, but the title is in my mom's name, and I am insured as the only driver of that car under her insurance policy. Can ...show more""

Health & dental insurance?

who has the best health & dental insurance for a small business of less than 10 people?

What is the best Dental Insurance for North Carolina??

I need to purchase dental insurance for myself because I know I need to go get a cleaning etc. What is the most affordable insurance to purchase that covers the most & gives me options on which dentist I would like to go to? I know I have atleast one cavity so I need insurance that won't break the bank but will keep my teeth looking good. Thank you in advance!! Easy 10 points for best answer!!

Auto insurance in California?

I bought a car in Aug 09. It's under my dads name for cheaper insurance purpose. But I never really got to the insurance part and have been driving w/out it. I just got a letter in the mail from the DMV saying my registration is suspended because I haven't provided financial proof... So I went earlier... and if my dad were to add the car and list me as a 2nd driver on my car, I would pay too much :| So the question here is... if my dad were to add the car and not list me as a 2nd driver, will I be covered? I really don't give a crap if it's fraud or not, just need to know if I will be covered since he will be lending me the car. Only place I really drive it to is work, and I work overnight so there's no cars around! ..and weekends. Plus with gas prices this high I stay below the 1.5k rpm's.""

Anybody have any reviews for GO AUTO INSURANCE? THANKS?

I am looking at purchasing full coverage on a new car and was wondering if anybody had any experiences with GO AUTO INSURANCE. This is a Louisiana Based Auto Insurance group and they currently have the lowest rates for the vehicle I want to insure. Thanks in advance!!

Can my insurance company pay less than my repairs?

I was in an accident and my insurance company wants me to pay an extra $592 on top of my $500 deductible. I've gotten 3 estimates and all of them say the same amount for the parts they're low balling me on. Is there any way that I can get them to pay more of my claim?

Need a home insurance that cover my dog.?

I live in California.  I have Akita and state farm wont insure me because I filed a claim before.  Is there any other insurance company that will cover me and my dog?  Thanks

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-new-drivers-over-40-steven-fowler/"

[apsbicepstraining]

BBG trainer Kayla Itsines: Alcohol is ‘poison, ‘ but carbs sure aren’t

Instagram fitness queen Kayla Itsines “ve never” consume at McDonalds, but she insists she has had a cheeseburger.

For anyone who has followed Itsines journey to becoming an international phenomenon importance a reported $46 million, that tidbit may come as a surprise. After all, the 26 -year-old( whose name is declared Its-See-Ness) has apparently obstructed her media chart picture-perfect to fit her character: online personal trainer to 12 million admirers on Facebook and 7 million on Instagram. Not to mention, she is an inspirational flesh to the countless women whove bought into her buzzed-about Bikini Body Guide, a 12 -week fitness and nutrition programme thats set off a batch of hashtags on Instagram, including #bbg( tagged in 5.8 million poles) and #bbgcommunity( tagged in 2.6 million poles ).

#bbgprogress @annasfit advancement using my #bbg curriculum! She says I hope these motivate others as much as me. Its sunny again so it necessitates bikinis! — The right photo is about 2,5 years ago and the correct one yesterday. Good acts take time. http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 8, 2017 at 1:34 pm PDT

Does she drink alcohol? Its poison, Itsines has been quoted enunciating. Has she ever had chicken pieces? Nope, she told Fox News. Favorite pizza? Supreme with lots of veggies and, in Australia, where shes from, pineapple.

THE 14 HEALTHIEST ITEMS AT YOUR FAVORITE FAST-FOOD RESTAURANTS

What shed be if she wasnt a personal manager: A educator! she exclaimed. What category? Fitness!

Original? No. But when you get to know Itsines in person, theres no question she’s enthusiastic about her work.

— 3 STEPS TO LEARN HOW TO DO A PULL UP — This is for the girls asking me This is my first attempt at putting verse on my videos … IT DIDN’T GO AS PLANNED OKAY ….work with me here people hahaha. ANYWAY !! Let me just say this doesn’t happen over night. You need to practice each step until they are ALL mastered! Then you can attempt an unassisted chin up/ pull up http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 21, 2017 at 12:11 am PDT

Check this out, Itsines enunciated, pulling out her iPhone and showing off her newest curriculum, BBG Stronger, on the SWEAT app, for which shes collaborated with managers Sjana Elise and Kelsey Wells, two other rising stars in the fitness nature.( Itsines program schools wives how to incorporate heavines machines at the gym into their workouts .) As a cluster of female peers delivering by assembled around her post-interview, Itsines giddily scrolled through the differences among boasts each move boasts a digital exhibition by Itsines, ended with a timer to help users stay on track motivating quenched oohs and ahs.

Forbes lately called the Adelaide native the most influential fitness personality worldwide a claim shes earned through promoting her diet and fitness platforms, works, in-person bootcamps, and custom stock, like yoga mats and foam rollers, on her site.

‘ALIEN YOGA’: THE TRUTH ABOUT THE WACKY TREND YOU’RE SEEING ON INSTAGRAM

Itsines fame, she told Fox News, has grown organically through an online community of women who inspire each other. On her social media details, you wont find person reproaching or recommendations to cut carbs( one of the most difficult mistakes Itsines meets American maidens see ), but instead, you will see inspirational mentions encouraging self-love, her followers side-by-side metamorphosi photos, and snapshots of fruit dishes and Itsines rock-hard abs. Suffice it to told she’s facilitated produce the charge for the growing body-confidence movement on Instagram.

26 today I feel like some of “youve had” literally watch me “re growing up” !! So Thankyou for all your foundation over the past few years and happy birthday to anyone who shares the same birthday with me !! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 20, 2017 at 3:11 pm PDT

Ive been a female-only trainer my entire life I started out at a female-only personal schooling centre, answered Itsines, who got into the industry just before her 19 th birthday. I know girls, Im a woman myself, I know what they crave, I know how they conclude, I know how they feel.

Fox News: You descent out of college to become a personal manager, started working at a small gym in your hometown of Adelaide, and connected Instagram on a whim after your business marriage and boyfriend, Tobi Pearce, promoted “youve got to” do so. But at what spot did you know that you had really made something large-scale?

Itsines: World Tour in 2015 was big because I got to hear folks floors who followed my planned, and I got to hear how I changed “peoples lives”. As a coach, you sort of anticipate, Well, you did that because you put in the hard work and you put in the effort. But they were so insistent in went on to say that, No, Kayla, it was you. You gave me the confidence, you gave me the persuasivenes. I was standing there supposing, This is amazing. This is changing families lives.

Fox News: How do you stay sanded?

Itsines: My family dirts me so much better. Theyre a big Greek family, and I live a time from my grandparents, who dont pronounce any English. They know what I do, but its almost like they dont attention. They dont think of me as anything special or as Kayla Itsines from Instagram. Its only that Im their granddaughter. They still yell at me when Im belatedly!

My baby – I love you! @tobi_pearce http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 6, 2017 at 5:24 am PDT

Fox News: Youve altered millions of womens lives. What has that been like?

Itsines: Thats an indefinable detect. I dont know if youve ever knowledge someone coming up to you and supposing, Youve changed my life, but you can feel that passion, and you try to hard not to yell and not to hug them forever.

@chasingfitnessdreams I’m so proud of you !! Progress expending my #bbg platform! She adds “I have struggled with my heavines and self confidence for a years. I was pretty tiny my whole life until I procured my desire for nutrient. I would eat what I wanted, when I wanted without exerting, I simply didn’t really care what it would do to me. Then once I seemed uncomfortable with how I searched I would urgently try to lose the heavines again until I was smaller then do it all over again! This messed up my metabolism and built me so sad! I have now noticed poise and learnt myself that I can have the nutrients I cherish whilst exercising to perceive large and keep in shape. Having additional load on me formed me feel tired, grumpy, breathless, bloated and miserable .. some people may say I gazed better before .. and to me that is a flattery but I simply want everyone to remember .. it DOESN’T MATTER what you look like .. it’s how you Find that are important. And I feel astonishing thanks to finding Kayla who attains me want to feel the best I can, so thanks girl ‘ I have 10 weeks until my sisters wedding and I am so excited to wear my bridesmaids dress find self-confident ” http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 12, 2017 at 4:31 am PDT

Fox News: How do you pick the person or persons to boast on your Instagram?

Itsines: This is something I expend a lot of season on, and its not necessarily someone who appears a certain acces or talks a certain style. Its someone whos super inspiring, and I have to be able to go on their profile, should be noted that theyve done the program, should be noted that theyre a positive party, and see that they actually have a pilgrimage that other women can follow and be inspired by.

@victoria. malmbbg 14 weeks advancement expending my #bbg curriculum !! stupendous …. did I forget to mention she is also a baby of TWO http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 14, 2017 at 12:58 pm PDT

Fox News : What are some of the most difficult misconceptions you watch dames construct when theyre trying to change their bodies?

Itsines: One of the biggest gaffes Ive understood wives build in America is the cutting-out-carbs act. Its, I want to look like this when truly, they should focus on how they appear rather than how they gaze. It should be: Im gonna do this to stimulate myself happier, so in turn, I experience beautiful. Thats truly a mindset Im trying to teach women.

HOW ONE WOMAN DROPPED 100 POUNDS BY FOLLOWING A FAD DIET

Another mistake wives obligate would be going too hard too fast. As wives, we have theatres where we get this sudden reason, we are seeking to do everything Im so motivated, Im gonna “re going to the” gym, Im gonna work out for hours and hours and they work out, theyre super sore, they cant continue it, and they become unmotivated. Its just about taking happenings step by step: maybe doing a seven-minute workout and making it into a 14 -minute workout the next week. Its about slowly improving your workout up until you feel good rather than pushing it very far.

Fox News: Whats your advice for someone who is working out and trying to get more physically fit, but is not realise develops?

Itsines: Take a step back and is to ensure that theyre cozy with their training regime, gobbling the right foods, and boozing enough irrigate. Sometimes, its just about devouring more and doing less thats something thats a very hard abstraction to move to ladies, specially here in the U.S.

@mysweatlife amazing develop photo To one of the most manner and hard working girls I know … you are absolutely killing it !! I am so freakin proud of you http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbg #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 25, 2017 at 6:12 am PDT

Fox News: Have you always been strong and fit? And if not, what challenges did you overcome to achieve the body you have today?

Itsines: I have always been fit Ive been into basketball since I was 5 years old. But in terms of forte, that took a lot of building up. I did that through basketball training and training in the gym. Nonetheless, Ive always been really, very happily married within myself, and thats what I try to push to dames that I contemplate the more you do gradually, the better you start to feel.

CROSSFIT ATHLETE’S POWERFUL TRANSFORMATION PHOTO PROVES GETTING FIT TAKES TIME

Fox News: Any advice for women struggling with organization confidence?

Itsines: We could have the best organizations in the world, but if we dont feel good on the inside, it doesnt question. I ever say to parties, Contemplate about the most beautiful party you know. Theyre not beautiful because they have a beautiful figure! You dont mention, Oh my best friend or the person I adore the most is so beautiful because her body searches any particular acces. Its because she makes me laugh, because shes smart, because shes here for me. Beauty comes from the inside, and the more that ladies start focusing on that, the more beautiful people become, including themselves.

Ladies, what’s your favourite organization area to workout !?! Comment below! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 28, 2017 at 4:57 am PDT

Fox News: Your strategy is truly based on helping women become strong , not skinny what would you say to anyone who doesnt contemplate strong is sexy or attractive?

Itsines: Strong is always sex and attractive! And the word strong what does that intend? Because forte comes from within, and BBG Stronger is a program that promotes dames strolling into the gym with trust and experiencing self-confident as they walk out. When youre self-confident within you, it constructs and it extends, and it glistens out of you.

8 LITTLE CHANGES THAT CAN LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS

Fox News: Your Instagram is of great root of brainchild and funding. Can you speak a little to why having that sort of support is really important for people who are on a fitness passage?

Itsines: The translations are certainly relatable you can go onto the page and find someone who looked like you before, or who ingest the method you do, or was living in the same country you do. I think that relatability is really nice to have, so “youre not” looking at one particular being suppose, Well, I cant dine that or I cant do that.

@healthylife. iv change employing my #bbg program !! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 10, 2017 at 3:21 am PDT

Fox News: Your programs are large-scale on poise in that they involve heavines discipline, cardio, extending and resting and, on the nutrition side, even dessert! Why is this mixture so important for producing outcomes?

Itsines: Balance is important in life. It keeps us sane! Why, as wives, shouldnt we be able to have our dinner and eat our dessert? Why shouldnt we have that? For illustration, last nighttime I had some pasta and chocolate after, and I dont feel bad because I chew health and I work out. Everything in moderation!

Just having a little moment of refection. I feel like the last few years has been an absolute whirlwind! When life gets busy, you often don’t get the chance to stop and think about what you’ve achieved along the way! Time is transferring by no matter what you do. So why stress? Why get worked up? Why obsess so much better when you can be happy and enjoy your life instead! I know that’s easier said than done sometimes, but genuinely when you think about it, you SHOULD be happy. You should be able to celebrate every moment. Time will pass no matter what…..so you may as well be happy and do what you cherish. http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbg photo credit – @alexpreview

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 24, 2017 at 7:00 pm PDT

Fox News: Do you ALWAYS dine healthy? Whats something you enjoy chewing that beings might not expect?

Itsines: Greek cakes! Theyre Greek tarts with sugar and walnuts.( Itsines mothers are from Kos, Greece .)

Fox News: You swerved 26 in May, and youve already fulfilled more than most women your age. Do you ever feel like, Where do I run from here?

Itsines: No! My patrons are the perfect speciman that age was nothing. Some of them are 40, 45, 50 years old and have the energy levels of a 20 -year-old. For me, whats next is facilitating more women and reading how I can do that to its implementation of getting feedback from all levels of society and with BBG. Its just so exciting.

Flashback !! My favourite thought in the world is satisfying my #bbg girls. I have left every single one of the boot camps, gone to my inn chamber, sat on my plot, set my honcho in my hands and cried. Not from sadness, I wasn’t sad at all! I was the terminated opposite in fact. I was overwhelmed with so much better joy and pride! Until I encountered you girls, I had no idea how much POSITIVE change was appear in all regions of the world. I got to hear all of your stupendous floors and how #bbg has changed your life or the life of someone you love. Even now, my sees ocean as I’m writing this because it builds me think back to all the amazing times that I have with you all. All I can say is thank you and that I am so so so sanctified so be able to meet you girls and hear your narratives. I would Desire for you to berth in specific comments below and tell others why you started the #bbg and how it changed your life. I want to show wives that everyone’s floor is different and we are all here for different reasons, but with one discontinue point … health and merriment http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgstronger

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 18, 2017 at 5:47 am PDT

* This interview has been edited for span and clarity .

FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK FOR MORE FOX LIFESTYLE NEWS

The post BBG trainer Kayla Itsines: Alcohol is ‘poison, ‘ but carbs sure aren’t appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2uBeLhC via IFTTT

[vitalmindandbody]

10 Simple-minded Ways To Heal A Broken Heart

I cant do this anymore.

The terms still reverberating in your ears, ricochetting around until they land like a punch in the gut. Youre instantly transported to a new world, one you didnt know existed before this moment. A world-wide and life without your beloved.

It doesnt feel real. You pinch yourself to wake up from this nightmare, but youre still here, still revolving from this declaration, this revocation of love.

Warm snaps stream down your face until you begin to sob, that terrifying uncontrollable sobbing that leaves you gasping for air. You want to hide away, cry yourself to sleep, and somehow magically feel better tomorrow.

Weve all been here. Or some modification of it. Weve all had our centers cracked and stomped on. Weve all diverted over every moment of our relations in our headings and wondered, What could I have done differently?

But we are now transported into a macrocosm where the love we seemed is grasped away from the americans and dont know what to do with ourselves other than suffers and sorrow our loss.

I recently read a work that briefly touched upon anguish and its advice mostly amounted to go out with your lovers as far as possible. WTF? Thats it? Thats how Im going to heal my mettle? Most of my lovers are scattered in all regions of the world. Becoming out with them every night isnt even a viable option.

How on globe do you turn off those kinds of impressions? What happens to affection lost? How do you mend a broken heart? I decided to investigate how to mend my own shattered heart.

In previous breakups, Ive simply idly fallen into my personal motifs of desire lost. For me, I exclaim, I stay in bed, watch bad tv, chew cookie dough, and hide away from the people who love me. I mainly dont DO anything. I sit and wait.

Because time heals all winds, right? Or does it? If occasion is a construct of our attentions, do “weve been” have to wait for the occur of period, something illusory to mend ourselves? Can we speed up the process of healing our wraps? How much is impossible to ensure our healing through our wars and blueprints?

So, instead of blindly falling into my decorations, I started to ask myself some questions about my habits. Im looking at my structures with enjoying interest, playing with them a little bit, realise what is actually acting me and determining what patterns are there exclusively because of economy, because my memory, form, and nerve are too tired for anything but pattern. And heres what Ive learned

1. Lean Into Sensation

Essentially, everything we know as physical beings comes down to sensation that we name good or bad. When I began to lean into the wizard in my body, requesting what it had to tell me, thoughts began to transform. I asked where the ache lives in my torso. I closed my eyes and supposed symbolizing my excitement. I described what it felt like in writing, how I had to remind myself to breathe and how fascinating the absence of a act- breath and love feels so heavy.

I examined the tightening in my chest, trying not to label it good or bad, just simply as superstar. Human tolerating is predominantly an expression of the results of labeling event as good or bad and right or wrong.

The thing about perception is, its ever changing. It doesnt stay forever. When we change our perspective of know-how merely being a temporary district of existence, it takes service charges out of it, simply through the simple-minded number of observation. In my own experience, the sensation itself tend to change faster the closer I look at it.

By noticing how heavy the fact that there is breath felt, I began to fill my lungs with slower, deeper breaths and learnt my entire being become a bit lighter.

2. Frankie Says Relax

Remember those t-shirts from the 80 s from Frankie goes to Hollywood? Passes out those guys had a good idea.

While this might seem a little bit self-contradictory to simply discovering perception, this practice of tightening your body has slightly different merits. We support so much better tension in our mass on a daily basis, and its even more amplified in times of high-pitched stress.

Make a practice of checking each part of your mas for tension. I like to start out lying down on my back and closing my gazes like I would for savasana. Take a couple of deep sighs, then try to contract and tense up every single muscle in your organization at once. Hold this for got a couple of seconds, then liberate the tension in your whole mas. Repeat a couple of times. I find it helpful to see the comparison in how my person tones between the tension and the relaxation.

Then take it further by slowly checking each part of your form from leader to toe. Tense up an individual muscle group for a moment, then exhaust it. Crinkle your forehead, and handout. Squeeze your eyes tight, and handout. Clench your jaw, and handout. Press your tongue to the ceiling of your opening, then make it hang loose in your mouth.

You get the picture. We all know we view so much friction and stress in our shoulders and backs, but also pay attention to the little neighbourhoods. Tightening the smallest muscle radicals, particularly in my appearance, often prepare the most difficult difference in how I seem afterwards.

3. Move It

Rest is important in mending a middle. But I often situate too much emphasis on it. Yes, I need to take care of myself with sleep and the blessing of stillness. But I now believe it is equally important to move your torso very. The medium of shift isnt important. Just move.

On day one I went to a yin yoga class. While technically moving my body, the needs of the of yin yoga are much less than read a spin class. Yin allowed me to extend my form while still allowing me to appear introverted and my existence internalized which was all I could handle.

On day two I croaked for a four mile walk in the common. I remained my headphones on and didnt talk to anyone, but extended my legs and got plenty of oxygen into my lungs.

This movement is facilitating me hinder some momentum and vigour for other aspects of “peoples lives” I dont want to placed on hold while my centre heals.

4. Reach For A Better Feeling Thought

This one can feel a bit tricky. For starters, the thought of exuberance can feel so far removed from where you are right now. So, start where you are.

If you are depressed, what next best happen can you contact for? Depression is experiencing hopeless, disheartened, retiring. There isnt even any energy around depression. Happiness and desire can feel like a world away from depression.

Can you reach for something that seems slightly better than this powerless desperation? Perhaps hope? Or wrath or storm? Most passions have more vitality behind them than hollow. While temper isnt a situate you want to stay in, it can also stimulus some movement.

What if every day you worked towards an spirit merely one step in future directions you wish to move? Take a look at the Emotional Guidance System scale I formed from Ask and it is Given below. Moving up by one spirit a daylight will put you in a pretty good region in not so long a time.

There is something else to watch out for here. In the midst of my profound bereavement, I have minutes of genuine laugh when I hear something funny. The first few meters it happened, I immediately experienced guilty.

It was as if my feeling good in any way was a disloyalty to my broken heart. My mentality was telling me that if I feel good, its as if I didnt appreciate such relationships as much as I felt I did. Well, that is hogwash. That is my hurt ego talking. My relationship mean and still signifies “the worlds” to me. Tell me be really clear on this point…

If youre having a hard time contacting for a better sensitive conception, try some visualizations. Stay away from thinks about your relationship and cherish. They are very charged topics, so start somewhere easy.

Close your eyes, thought the sentiments of the warm sunlight on your look, and cool breeze on bare shoulders. Dream the flavor of your favorite dinner on your tongue. Dream your abs hurting after a good belly laugh. Improve on this feeling with knowledge from our lives you can draw from. What in your life is full of ease and joy?

5. Surround Yourself With Reminders Of Truth, Beauty, And Love

I have a tattoo on my left forearm that enunciates Love Inspired by a blog upright called the Beauty of the Ellipsis, it serves as a reminder that ardour isnt a finished thinking. It is always in motion, ever deriving. Adoration for myself, my family, your best friend, and those Ive lost.

I have a maple seed necklace to remind me that in every moment Im planting the seeds of my future. I have prisms hanging from my windows for an extra perforate of coloring and rainbows on sunny epoches. I am gradually building a jungle in my house. I fill empty spaces with plants that remind me of life and vitality even on the grayest of days.

Fill your encircles and life with little bits that remind you of what you know to be true, beautiful, and joyful. These neednt be grandiose or expensive, just simply concepts that reverberate with you. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Flowers from Traders Joes. Pinterest board filled with beauty. Follow an inspiring Instagram or Tumblr account. Make or find a mantra. Use Canva to build and print out invigorating paraphrases to embellish your room. Croak for a step and find the perfect stone to bring home. Find a brand-new favorite aroma and spread it around your mansion liberally. Buy new stationary. Treat yourself to a book from Etsy. Draw portrait or stimulating mentions with sidewalk chalk in your vicinity. Find a neighbourhood neighbourhood to make a coffee or tea mug. Alternately, find one that impresses your imagination at Society6. Create an altar or sacred cavity and crowd it with crystals, palo santo, and offerings. Spend day with children. Find reminders of your truism and joy.

These may seem to be insignificant things that are only on the surface, but I find the more I border myself with items that experience whimsical and magical in some small-scale acces, the more Im able to remind myself of how I want to feel in each time. They help me choose to feel glee and magical when I might otherwise choose grief.

6. Self-Care Saturday( Or any era. Or every day !)

We can be quite penalize to ourselves in times of conflict and stress, so take some time to really take care of yourself in some way.

Were all busy and charged with the responsibility, but if you dont take care of yourself first, the main responsibilities can begin to suffer as a result. Im more focused and productive when Ive taken care of my necessities first. I attend to my responsibilities in a bigger and better behavior when my goblet is full , not empty.

Theres a lot of area for reading here as to what self-care consider this to be for each person. While technically, all the suggestions in this article are a species of self-care, I miss “youve got to” block off some time specifically for self-care, mining deeper into what that means for you.

Maybe its taking a long, palatial shower and spending duration pampering yourself with tinctures for your skin that move you feel radiant. It might be spending a duo hours in live animals shelter fondling with puppies and kittens. Perhaps its planning a hot stone rub. Maybe its nourishing your form with vibrant healthy food youve cooked yourself. It might be taking a couple hours to read a book thats been sitting on your nightstand for months.

Tailor your self-care and rotate it into a weekly or even daily ritual.

7. Invest in Yourself

Im willing to bet everyone has something new theyd like to try if merely they had the time, coin, or excuse.

Here is your allow stumble to try that something new.

Did you want to pick up knitting, or perhaps learn to play the guitar? Maybe memorized some bayonet abilities to hoist your prepare? Rock climbing, sky diving, paint, memorizing another language, the possibilities are interminable. You can find a class on just about whatever it is you like online these days.

As progenies, we try brand-new occasions all the time. Its how we discover and change at an exceptional charge. But this slows down as we grow up and our visual field becomes smaller as we narrow down our athletic field. So expand your compass, invest in yourself in some way, and learn something new.

The cognitive requirements of memorizing something new are also welcome to serve as a great pattern of distraction when you need a distraction. Perhaps youll be brought to an end picking up a brand-new hobby, check off another carton on your pail listing, or have a good story to tell.

8. The F wordForgiveness

Ahh, a big creepy one! The topic of forgiveness can be a fiction in itself. Perhaps there is a requirement forgive the actions of your ex, or maybe forgive yourself for your own. Or a combination of both.

We dont always like to forgive people for actions we deem incorrect or unkind because it can feel like we are giving them a free pass. But Ive became aware that maintaining onto exasperation and resentment is always worse. Its a tremendous force suck and you cant find joyful as the same duration “you think youre” feeling justified in your fury. So, I select my own gaiety over my resentment.

Its a choice to make over and over again. Its not easy to forgive in one large-hearted sweeping action. It generally happens in increments. Its helpful to practice radical rapport, vividly dreaming how it feels to be the person who did you wrong. You know most people are essentially doing the best they can with the information they have at each minute. It becomes easier to suppose why they did what they did when you put yourself in their shoes. You begin to feel more empathy for them.

You recognize that the indignation youre accommodating acts no one. And you gradually begin to let it go, piece by piece.

Because forgiveness is not for them, its for YOU.

9. Afford what you wish to receive

I was walking around, detecting like no one loves me, which is totally and completely untrue, but when youre heartbroken, your subconsciou does all kinds of irrational thoughts. I received a pal of mine berth about writing a note of encouragement to a pal, and I wished to be that friend with every fiber of my being. I wanted to open up my mailbox and receive letters of cherish, a validation of the adoration that exists for me.

I expected myself what could I do to feel that adoration? I decided to Pay what I wished to RECEIVE. I started writing words of encouragement and love to pals and strangers alike. All I had to do was write what I wanted to hear, for myself. It was that easy.

This did two things for me.

One, the brain doesnt is the difference between handing, receiving, or even witnessing magnanimity. When you perform an act of kindness, the pleasure and rewards cores light up, releasing feel good chemicals as if you were the recipient, which some psychologists have dubbed the helpers high.

Two, it demo me that we live in a macrocosm of abundance. I dont is a requirement to accumulation away love and kindness to keep it. It actually thrives when I open it away. Its generative. And often, when you demonstrate adore and kindness away, others are inspired to mirror your enjoy and kindness back to you as well as fee it forward to others.

We cannot presume to understand the dominance of the extent of what a few kind words can do for someone and its ripple effect on the world. Win win triumph!

10. Investigate Your Own Patterns

This is by no means a complete list. Merely recommendations of the start of opportunities for your own healing. The biggest occasion you can do for yourself is to get curious, examine your own personal decorations in its own experience of sorrow, and doubt each one.

Hold each one up as they sound and question Does this suffice me?

If the answer is truly yes, keep it. If the answer is no, try something new or the opposite of that first inclination. Play with the brand-new reaction, see if that one provides you better, prepares you feel better both in the present and the long term.

And most important, be gentle with yourself. There are epoch to push your borders, to peruse, and to experiment. But i still have a meter for rest and a is necessary to give. Dedicate yourself the grace to know you are where you need to be when you need to be.

Know that you wont always feel like your centre has been rent out of your chest. Lessen the distance between a shattered heart and a mended middle by experimenting with these alternatives to your motifs. One day youll open your middle again and feel the rushing of falling in love. Youll look into attentions that truly see you and reflect your feeling back to you. And youll be ready for large-scale ardour because youve already done their efforts to heal your middle.

Read more:

The post 10 Simple-minded Ways To Heal A Broken Heart appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[apsbicepstraining]

BBG trainer Kayla Itsines: Alcohol is ‘poison, ‘ but carbs sure aren’t

Instagram fitness queen Kayla Itsines “ve never” consume at McDonalds, but she insists she has had a cheeseburger.

For anyone who has followed Itsines journey to becoming an international phenomenon importance a reported $46 million, that tidbit may come as a surprise. After all, the 26 -year-old( whose name is declared Its-See-Ness) has apparently obstructed her media chart picture-perfect to fit her character: online personal trainer to 12 million admirers on Facebook and 7 million on Instagram. Not to mention, she is an inspirational flesh to the countless women whove bought into her buzzed-about Bikini Body Guide, a 12 -week fitness and nutrition programme thats set off a batch of hashtags on Instagram, including #bbg( tagged in 5.8 million poles) and #bbgcommunity( tagged in 2.6 million poles ).

#bbgprogress @annasfit advancement using my #bbg curriculum! She says I hope these motivate others as much as me. Its sunny again so it necessitates bikinis! — The right photo is about 2,5 years ago and the correct one yesterday. Good acts take time. http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 8, 2017 at 1:34 pm PDT

Does she drink alcohol? Its poison, Itsines has been quoted enunciating. Has she ever had chicken pieces? Nope, she told Fox News. Favorite pizza? Supreme with lots of veggies and, in Australia, where shes from, pineapple.

THE 14 HEALTHIEST ITEMS AT YOUR FAVORITE FAST-FOOD RESTAURANTS

What shed be if she wasnt a personal manager: A educator! she exclaimed. What category? Fitness!

Original? No. But when you get to know Itsines in person, theres no question she’s enthusiastic about her work.

— 3 STEPS TO LEARN HOW TO DO A PULL UP — This is for the girls asking me This is my first attempt at putting verse on my videos … IT DIDN’T GO AS PLANNED OKAY ….work with me here people hahaha. ANYWAY !! Let me just say this doesn’t happen over night. You need to practice each step until they are ALL mastered! Then you can attempt an unassisted chin up/ pull up http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 21, 2017 at 12:11 am PDT

Check this out, Itsines enunciated, pulling out her iPhone and showing off her newest curriculum, BBG Stronger, on the SWEAT app, for which shes collaborated with managers Sjana Elise and Kelsey Wells, two other rising stars in the fitness nature.( Itsines program schools wives how to incorporate heavines machines at the gym into their workouts .) As a cluster of female peers delivering by assembled around her post-interview, Itsines giddily scrolled through the differences among boasts each move boasts a digital exhibition by Itsines, ended with a timer to help users stay on track motivating quenched oohs and ahs.

Forbes lately called the Adelaide native the most influential fitness personality worldwide a claim shes earned through promoting her diet and fitness platforms, works, in-person bootcamps, and custom stock, like yoga mats and foam rollers, on her site.

‘ALIEN YOGA’: THE TRUTH ABOUT THE WACKY TREND YOU’RE SEEING ON INSTAGRAM

Itsines fame, she told Fox News, has grown organically through an online community of women who inspire each other. On her social media details, you wont find person reproaching or recommendations to cut carbs( one of the most difficult mistakes Itsines meets American maidens see ), but instead, you will see inspirational mentions encouraging self-love, her followers side-by-side metamorphosi photos, and snapshots of fruit dishes and Itsines rock-hard abs. Suffice it to told she’s facilitated produce the charge for the growing body-confidence movement on Instagram.

26 today I feel like some of “youve had” literally watch me “re growing up” !! So Thankyou for all your foundation over the past few years and happy birthday to anyone who shares the same birthday with me !! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 20, 2017 at 3:11 pm PDT

Ive been a female-only trainer my entire life I started out at a female-only personal schooling centre, answered Itsines, who got into the industry just before her 19 th birthday. I know girls, Im a woman myself, I know what they crave, I know how they conclude, I know how they feel.

Fox News: You descent out of college to become a personal manager, started working at a small gym in your hometown of Adelaide, and connected Instagram on a whim after your business marriage and boyfriend, Tobi Pearce, promoted “youve got to” do so. But at what spot did you know that you had really made something large-scale?

Itsines: World Tour in 2015 was big because I got to hear folks floors who followed my planned, and I got to hear how I changed “peoples lives”. As a coach, you sort of anticipate, Well, you did that because you put in the hard work and you put in the effort. But they were so insistent in went on to say that, No, Kayla, it was you. You gave me the confidence, you gave me the persuasivenes. I was standing there supposing, This is amazing. This is changing families lives.

Fox News: How do you stay sanded?

Itsines: My family dirts me so much better. Theyre a big Greek family, and I live a time from my grandparents, who dont pronounce any English. They know what I do, but its almost like they dont attention. They dont think of me as anything special or as Kayla Itsines from Instagram. Its only that Im their granddaughter. They still yell at me when Im belatedly!

My baby – I love you! @tobi_pearce http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 6, 2017 at 5:24 am PDT

Fox News: Youve altered millions of womens lives. What has that been like?

Itsines: Thats an indefinable detect. I dont know if youve ever knowledge someone coming up to you and supposing, Youve changed my life, but you can feel that passion, and you try to hard not to yell and not to hug them forever.

@chasingfitnessdreams I’m so proud of you !! Progress expending my #bbg platform! She adds “I have struggled with my heavines and self confidence for a years. I was pretty tiny my whole life until I procured my desire for nutrient. I would eat what I wanted, when I wanted without exerting, I simply didn’t really care what it would do to me. Then once I seemed uncomfortable with how I searched I would urgently try to lose the heavines again until I was smaller then do it all over again! This messed up my metabolism and built me so sad! I have now noticed poise and learnt myself that I can have the nutrients I cherish whilst exercising to perceive large and keep in shape. Having additional load on me formed me feel tired, grumpy, breathless, bloated and miserable .. some people may say I gazed better before .. and to me that is a flattery but I simply want everyone to remember .. it DOESN’T MATTER what you look like .. it’s how you Find that are important. And I feel astonishing thanks to finding Kayla who attains me want to feel the best I can, so thanks girl ‘ I have 10 weeks until my sisters wedding and I am so excited to wear my bridesmaids dress find self-confident ” http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 12, 2017 at 4:31 am PDT

Fox News: How do you pick the person or persons to boast on your Instagram?

Itsines: This is something I expend a lot of season on, and its not necessarily someone who appears a certain acces or talks a certain style. Its someone whos super inspiring, and I have to be able to go on their profile, should be noted that theyve done the program, should be noted that theyre a positive party, and see that they actually have a pilgrimage that other women can follow and be inspired by.

@victoria. malmbbg 14 weeks advancement expending my #bbg curriculum !! stupendous …. did I forget to mention she is also a baby of TWO http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 14, 2017 at 12:58 pm PDT

Fox News : What are some of the most difficult misconceptions you watch dames construct when theyre trying to change their bodies?

Itsines: One of the biggest gaffes Ive understood wives build in America is the cutting-out-carbs act. Its, I want to look like this when truly, they should focus on how they appear rather than how they gaze. It should be: Im gonna do this to stimulate myself happier, so in turn, I experience beautiful. Thats truly a mindset Im trying to teach women.

HOW ONE WOMAN DROPPED 100 POUNDS BY FOLLOWING A FAD DIET

Another mistake wives obligate would be going too hard too fast. As wives, we have theatres where we get this sudden reason, we are seeking to do everything Im so motivated, Im gonna “re going to the” gym, Im gonna work out for hours and hours and they work out, theyre super sore, they cant continue it, and they become unmotivated. Its just about taking happenings step by step: maybe doing a seven-minute workout and making it into a 14 -minute workout the next week. Its about slowly improving your workout up until you feel good rather than pushing it very far.

Fox News: Whats your advice for someone who is working out and trying to get more physically fit, but is not realise develops?

Itsines: Take a step back and is to ensure that theyre cozy with their training regime, gobbling the right foods, and boozing enough irrigate. Sometimes, its just about devouring more and doing less thats something thats a very hard abstraction to move to ladies, specially here in the U.S.

@mysweatlife amazing develop photo To one of the most manner and hard working girls I know … you are absolutely killing it !! I am so freakin proud of you http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbg #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 25, 2017 at 6:12 am PDT

Fox News: Have you always been strong and fit? And if not, what challenges did you overcome to achieve the body you have today?

Itsines: I have always been fit Ive been into basketball since I was 5 years old. But in terms of forte, that took a lot of building up. I did that through basketball training and training in the gym. Nonetheless, Ive always been really, very happily married within myself, and thats what I try to push to dames that I contemplate the more you do gradually, the better you start to feel.

CROSSFIT ATHLETE’S POWERFUL TRANSFORMATION PHOTO PROVES GETTING FIT TAKES TIME

Fox News: Any advice for women struggling with organization confidence?

Itsines: We could have the best organizations in the world, but if we dont feel good on the inside, it doesnt question. I ever say to parties, Contemplate about the most beautiful party you know. Theyre not beautiful because they have a beautiful figure! You dont mention, Oh my best friend or the person I adore the most is so beautiful because her body searches any particular acces. Its because she makes me laugh, because shes smart, because shes here for me. Beauty comes from the inside, and the more that ladies start focusing on that, the more beautiful people become, including themselves.

Ladies, what’s your favourite organization area to workout !?! Comment below! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 28, 2017 at 4:57 am PDT

Fox News: Your strategy is truly based on helping women become strong , not skinny what would you say to anyone who doesnt contemplate strong is sexy or attractive?

Itsines: Strong is always sex and attractive! And the word strong what does that intend? Because forte comes from within, and BBG Stronger is a program that promotes dames strolling into the gym with trust and experiencing self-confident as they walk out. When youre self-confident within you, it constructs and it extends, and it glistens out of you.

8 LITTLE CHANGES THAT CAN LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS

Fox News: Your Instagram is of great root of brainchild and funding. Can you speak a little to why having that sort of support is really important for people who are on a fitness passage?

Itsines: The translations are certainly relatable you can go onto the page and find someone who looked like you before, or who ingest the method you do, or was living in the same country you do. I think that relatability is really nice to have, so “youre not” looking at one particular being suppose, Well, I cant dine that or I cant do that.

@healthylife. iv change employing my #bbg program !! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 10, 2017 at 3:21 am PDT

Fox News: Your programs are large-scale on poise in that they involve heavines discipline, cardio, extending and resting and, on the nutrition side, even dessert! Why is this mixture so important for producing outcomes?

Itsines: Balance is important in life. It keeps us sane! Why, as wives, shouldnt we be able to have our dinner and eat our dessert? Why shouldnt we have that? For illustration, last nighttime I had some pasta and chocolate after, and I dont feel bad because I chew health and I work out. Everything in moderation!

Just having a little moment of refection. I feel like the last few years has been an absolute whirlwind! When life gets busy, you often don’t get the chance to stop and think about what you’ve achieved along the way! Time is transferring by no matter what you do. So why stress? Why get worked up? Why obsess so much better when you can be happy and enjoy your life instead! I know that’s easier said than done sometimes, but genuinely when you think about it, you SHOULD be happy. You should be able to celebrate every moment. Time will pass no matter what…..so you may as well be happy and do what you cherish. http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbg photo credit – @alexpreview

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 24, 2017 at 7:00 pm PDT

Fox News: Do you ALWAYS dine healthy? Whats something you enjoy chewing that beings might not expect?

Itsines: Greek cakes! Theyre Greek tarts with sugar and walnuts.( Itsines mothers are from Kos, Greece .)

Fox News: You swerved 26 in May, and youve already fulfilled more than most women your age. Do you ever feel like, Where do I run from here?

Itsines: No! My patrons are the perfect speciman that age was nothing. Some of them are 40, 45, 50 years old and have the energy levels of a 20 -year-old. For me, whats next is facilitating more women and reading how I can do that to its implementation of getting feedback from all levels of society and with BBG. Its just so exciting.

Flashback !! My favourite thought in the world is satisfying my #bbg girls. I have left every single one of the boot camps, gone to my inn chamber, sat on my plot, set my honcho in my hands and cried. Not from sadness, I wasn’t sad at all! I was the terminated opposite in fact. I was overwhelmed with so much better joy and pride! Until I encountered you girls, I had no idea how much POSITIVE change was appear in all regions of the world. I got to hear all of your stupendous floors and how #bbg has changed your life or the life of someone you love. Even now, my sees ocean as I’m writing this because it builds me think back to all the amazing times that I have with you all. All I can say is thank you and that I am so so so sanctified so be able to meet you girls and hear your narratives. I would Desire for you to berth in specific comments below and tell others why you started the #bbg and how it changed your life. I want to show wives that everyone’s floor is different and we are all here for different reasons, but with one discontinue point … health and merriment http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgstronger

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 18, 2017 at 5:47 am PDT

* This interview has been edited for span and clarity .

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The post BBG trainer Kayla Itsines: Alcohol is ‘poison, ‘ but carbs sure aren’t appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[apsbicepstraining]

BBG trainer Kayla Itsines: Alcohol is ‘poison, ‘ but carbs sure aren’t

Instagram fitness queen Kayla Itsines “ve never” consume at McDonalds, but she insists she has had a cheeseburger.

For anyone who has followed Itsines journey to becoming an international phenomenon importance a reported $46 million, that tidbit may come as a surprise. After all, the 26 -year-old( whose name is declared Its-See-Ness) has apparently obstructed her media chart picture-perfect to fit her character: online personal trainer to 12 million admirers on Facebook and 7 million on Instagram. Not to mention, she is an inspirational flesh to the countless women whove bought into her buzzed-about Bikini Body Guide, a 12 -week fitness and nutrition programme thats set off a batch of hashtags on Instagram, including #bbg( tagged in 5.8 million poles) and #bbgcommunity( tagged in 2.6 million poles ).

#bbgprogress @annasfit advancement using my #bbg curriculum! She says I hope these motivate others as much as me. Its sunny again so it necessitates bikinis! — The right photo is about 2,5 years ago and the correct one yesterday. Good acts take time. http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 8, 2017 at 1:34 pm PDT

Does she drink alcohol? Its poison, Itsines has been quoted enunciating. Has she ever had chicken pieces? Nope, she told Fox News. Favorite pizza? Supreme with lots of veggies and, in Australia, where shes from, pineapple.

THE 14 HEALTHIEST ITEMS AT YOUR FAVORITE FAST-FOOD RESTAURANTS

What shed be if she wasnt a personal manager: A educator! she exclaimed. What category? Fitness!

Original? No. But when you get to know Itsines in person, theres no question she’s enthusiastic about her work.

— 3 STEPS TO LEARN HOW TO DO A PULL UP — This is for the girls asking me This is my first attempt at putting verse on my videos … IT DIDN’T GO AS PLANNED OKAY ….work with me here people hahaha. ANYWAY !! Let me just say this doesn’t happen over night. You need to practice each step until they are ALL mastered! Then you can attempt an unassisted chin up/ pull up http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 21, 2017 at 12:11 am PDT

Check this out, Itsines enunciated, pulling out her iPhone and showing off her newest curriculum, BBG Stronger, on the SWEAT app, for which shes collaborated with managers Sjana Elise and Kelsey Wells, two other rising stars in the fitness nature.( Itsines program schools wives how to incorporate heavines machines at the gym into their workouts .) As a cluster of female peers delivering by assembled around her post-interview, Itsines giddily scrolled through the differences among boasts each move boasts a digital exhibition by Itsines, ended with a timer to help users stay on track motivating quenched oohs and ahs.

Forbes lately called the Adelaide native the most influential fitness personality worldwide a claim shes earned through promoting her diet and fitness platforms, works, in-person bootcamps, and custom stock, like yoga mats and foam rollers, on her site.

‘ALIEN YOGA’: THE TRUTH ABOUT THE WACKY TREND YOU’RE SEEING ON INSTAGRAM

Itsines fame, she told Fox News, has grown organically through an online community of women who inspire each other. On her social media details, you wont find person reproaching or recommendations to cut carbs( one of the most difficult mistakes Itsines meets American maidens see ), but instead, you will see inspirational mentions encouraging self-love, her followers side-by-side metamorphosi photos, and snapshots of fruit dishes and Itsines rock-hard abs. Suffice it to told she’s facilitated produce the charge for the growing body-confidence movement on Instagram.

26 today I feel like some of “youve had” literally watch me “re growing up” !! So Thankyou for all your foundation over the past few years and happy birthday to anyone who shares the same birthday with me !! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 20, 2017 at 3:11 pm PDT

Ive been a female-only trainer my entire life I started out at a female-only personal schooling centre, answered Itsines, who got into the industry just before her 19 th birthday. I know girls, Im a woman myself, I know what they crave, I know how they conclude, I know how they feel.

Fox News: You descent out of college to become a personal manager, started working at a small gym in your hometown of Adelaide, and connected Instagram on a whim after your business marriage and boyfriend, Tobi Pearce, promoted “youve got to” do so. But at what spot did you know that you had really made something large-scale?

Itsines: World Tour in 2015 was big because I got to hear folks floors who followed my planned, and I got to hear how I changed “peoples lives”. As a coach, you sort of anticipate, Well, you did that because you put in the hard work and you put in the effort. But they were so insistent in went on to say that, No, Kayla, it was you. You gave me the confidence, you gave me the persuasivenes. I was standing there supposing, This is amazing. This is changing families lives.

Fox News: How do you stay sanded?

Itsines: My family dirts me so much better. Theyre a big Greek family, and I live a time from my grandparents, who dont pronounce any English. They know what I do, but its almost like they dont attention. They dont think of me as anything special or as Kayla Itsines from Instagram. Its only that Im their granddaughter. They still yell at me when Im belatedly!

My baby – I love you! @tobi_pearce http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 6, 2017 at 5:24 am PDT

Fox News: Youve altered millions of womens lives. What has that been like?

Itsines: Thats an indefinable detect. I dont know if youve ever knowledge someone coming up to you and supposing, Youve changed my life, but you can feel that passion, and you try to hard not to yell and not to hug them forever.

@chasingfitnessdreams I’m so proud of you !! Progress expending my #bbg platform! She adds “I have struggled with my heavines and self confidence for a years. I was pretty tiny my whole life until I procured my desire for nutrient. I would eat what I wanted, when I wanted without exerting, I simply didn’t really care what it would do to me. Then once I seemed uncomfortable with how I searched I would urgently try to lose the heavines again until I was smaller then do it all over again! This messed up my metabolism and built me so sad! I have now noticed poise and learnt myself that I can have the nutrients I cherish whilst exercising to perceive large and keep in shape. Having additional load on me formed me feel tired, grumpy, breathless, bloated and miserable .. some people may say I gazed better before .. and to me that is a flattery but I simply want everyone to remember .. it DOESN’T MATTER what you look like .. it’s how you Find that are important. And I feel astonishing thanks to finding Kayla who attains me want to feel the best I can, so thanks girl ‘ I have 10 weeks until my sisters wedding and I am so excited to wear my bridesmaids dress find self-confident ” http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 12, 2017 at 4:31 am PDT

Fox News: How do you pick the person or persons to boast on your Instagram?

Itsines: This is something I expend a lot of season on, and its not necessarily someone who appears a certain acces or talks a certain style. Its someone whos super inspiring, and I have to be able to go on their profile, should be noted that theyve done the program, should be noted that theyre a positive party, and see that they actually have a pilgrimage that other women can follow and be inspired by.

@victoria. malmbbg 14 weeks advancement expending my #bbg curriculum !! stupendous …. did I forget to mention she is also a baby of TWO http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 14, 2017 at 12:58 pm PDT

Fox News : What are some of the most difficult misconceptions you watch dames construct when theyre trying to change their bodies?

Itsines: One of the biggest gaffes Ive understood wives build in America is the cutting-out-carbs act. Its, I want to look like this when truly, they should focus on how they appear rather than how they gaze. It should be: Im gonna do this to stimulate myself happier, so in turn, I experience beautiful. Thats truly a mindset Im trying to teach women.

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Another mistake wives obligate would be going too hard too fast. As wives, we have theatres where we get this sudden reason, we are seeking to do everything Im so motivated, Im gonna “re going to the” gym, Im gonna work out for hours and hours and they work out, theyre super sore, they cant continue it, and they become unmotivated. Its just about taking happenings step by step: maybe doing a seven-minute workout and making it into a 14 -minute workout the next week. Its about slowly improving your workout up until you feel good rather than pushing it very far.

Fox News: Whats your advice for someone who is working out and trying to get more physically fit, but is not realise develops?

Itsines: Take a step back and is to ensure that theyre cozy with their training regime, gobbling the right foods, and boozing enough irrigate. Sometimes, its just about devouring more and doing less thats something thats a very hard abstraction to move to ladies, specially here in the U.S.

@mysweatlife amazing develop photo To one of the most manner and hard working girls I know … you are absolutely killing it !! I am so freakin proud of you http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbg #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 25, 2017 at 6:12 am PDT

Fox News: Have you always been strong and fit? And if not, what challenges did you overcome to achieve the body you have today?

Itsines: I have always been fit Ive been into basketball since I was 5 years old. But in terms of forte, that took a lot of building up. I did that through basketball training and training in the gym. Nonetheless, Ive always been really, very happily married within myself, and thats what I try to push to dames that I contemplate the more you do gradually, the better you start to feel.

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Fox News: Any advice for women struggling with organization confidence?

Itsines: We could have the best organizations in the world, but if we dont feel good on the inside, it doesnt question. I ever say to parties, Contemplate about the most beautiful party you know. Theyre not beautiful because they have a beautiful figure! You dont mention, Oh my best friend or the person I adore the most is so beautiful because her body searches any particular acces. Its because she makes me laugh, because shes smart, because shes here for me. Beauty comes from the inside, and the more that ladies start focusing on that, the more beautiful people become, including themselves.

Ladies, what’s your favourite organization area to workout !?! Comment below! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 28, 2017 at 4:57 am PDT

Fox News: Your strategy is truly based on helping women become strong , not skinny what would you say to anyone who doesnt contemplate strong is sexy or attractive?

Itsines: Strong is always sex and attractive! And the word strong what does that intend? Because forte comes from within, and BBG Stronger is a program that promotes dames strolling into the gym with trust and experiencing self-confident as they walk out. When youre self-confident within you, it constructs and it extends, and it glistens out of you.

8 LITTLE CHANGES THAT CAN LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS

Fox News: Your Instagram is of great root of brainchild and funding. Can you speak a little to why having that sort of support is really important for people who are on a fitness passage?

Itsines: The translations are certainly relatable you can go onto the page and find someone who looked like you before, or who ingest the method you do, or was living in the same country you do. I think that relatability is really nice to have, so “youre not” looking at one particular being suppose, Well, I cant dine that or I cant do that.

@healthylife. iv change employing my #bbg program !! http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgprogress

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Jun 10, 2017 at 3:21 am PDT

Fox News: Your programs are large-scale on poise in that they involve heavines discipline, cardio, extending and resting and, on the nutrition side, even dessert! Why is this mixture so important for producing outcomes?

Itsines: Balance is important in life. It keeps us sane! Why, as wives, shouldnt we be able to have our dinner and eat our dessert? Why shouldnt we have that? For illustration, last nighttime I had some pasta and chocolate after, and I dont feel bad because I chew health and I work out. Everything in moderation!

Just having a little moment of refection. I feel like the last few years has been an absolute whirlwind! When life gets busy, you often don’t get the chance to stop and think about what you’ve achieved along the way! Time is transferring by no matter what you do. So why stress? Why get worked up? Why obsess so much better when you can be happy and enjoy your life instead! I know that’s easier said than done sometimes, but genuinely when you think about it, you SHOULD be happy. You should be able to celebrate every moment. Time will pass no matter what…..so you may as well be happy and do what you cherish. http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbg photo credit – @alexpreview

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on Apr 24, 2017 at 7:00 pm PDT

Fox News: Do you ALWAYS dine healthy? Whats something you enjoy chewing that beings might not expect?

Itsines: Greek cakes! Theyre Greek tarts with sugar and walnuts.( Itsines mothers are from Kos, Greece .)

Fox News: You swerved 26 in May, and youve already fulfilled more than most women your age. Do you ever feel like, Where do I run from here?

Itsines: No! My patrons are the perfect speciman that age was nothing. Some of them are 40, 45, 50 years old and have the energy levels of a 20 -year-old. For me, whats next is facilitating more women and reading how I can do that to its implementation of getting feedback from all levels of society and with BBG. Its just so exciting.

Flashback !! My favourite thought in the world is satisfying my #bbg girls. I have left every single one of the boot camps, gone to my inn chamber, sat on my plot, set my honcho in my hands and cried. Not from sadness, I wasn’t sad at all! I was the terminated opposite in fact. I was overwhelmed with so much better joy and pride! Until I encountered you girls, I had no idea how much POSITIVE change was appear in all regions of the world. I got to hear all of your stupendous floors and how #bbg has changed your life or the life of someone you love. Even now, my sees ocean as I’m writing this because it builds me think back to all the amazing times that I have with you all. All I can say is thank you and that I am so so so sanctified so be able to meet you girls and hear your narratives. I would Desire for you to berth in specific comments below and tell others why you started the #bbg and how it changed your life. I want to show wives that everyone’s floor is different and we are all here for different reasons, but with one discontinue point … health and merriment http://ift.tt/1qtdY6U app #bbgstronger

A post shared by KAYLA ITSINES (@ kayla_itsines) on May 18, 2017 at 5:47 am PDT

* This interview has been edited for span and clarity .

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