#thats not true emet selch was close

[hqmillioncorn]

I would have Preferred the Treasure

“Please Please Please Please!” Babycorn begged, jumping over and over. “I just need help with something and then I’ll leave forever and ever!”  Lunya crossed her arms, “You better not! We have enough trouble getting you back every time you decide to get in the wrong car!” It wasn’t like it was Babycorn’s fault that her friend’s choice of transportations also looked similar to complete strangers transportations as well. “But it was kinda funny when Cherrypit scared that guy so bad he crashed his carriage!” “...Okay, maybe it was a little funny.”   “Yeah! See?!” “But what wasn’t funny was that I had to pay for the carriage!”  “Hehe” But now it was time to get back to the point. “Can you pleaseeee help me find the treasure on this map?! Pretty please?!”  Lunya sighed, a slight smile on her face. “I already said yes. But let’s go when it’s not four in the morning.” 

ffxiv write day 13: butte

treasure hunting or lack of and thats pretty much it babycorn goes sightseeing

In the hot region of Shaaloani a lone Babycorn, surrounded by her friends, continued to walk in a circle. Her baby brother Cherrypit walked right behind her, waving a dried out stick in his hand. 

“should we tell her?” Vertical asked. This had been going on for almost five minutes now. 

Lunya rested her elbows on the edge of the regalia’s windows. “I think she’s almost got it figured out.” It was like clockwork. Babycorn would usually spend six minutes or so staring at her map then suddenly declare that she knew exactly where it was. “Besides I know at least one of us is having a good time.”

Lunya shot a playful look at her pseudo-son Butter, who was currently entranced at how the sun was shining down on Babycorn. It was something only he would notice. How the sun was making her hair shine and how cute her face was when she was concentrating on something. 

Vertical watched one of the several cartoon hearts coming off Butter float up into the sky. “woah” She wanted to pop one like a bubble just to see what happened. “do you think she knows?” 

“Knows that Butter is staring at her like a love sick puppy?” 

Vertical nodded. 

“Oh she’s noticed.” Lunya recalled an earlier conversation she had with Babycorn, “She just thinks he’s allergic to something.” Babycorn had started wailing when she had the fleeting thought that Butter was allergic to her. 

“thats rough.” Vertical patted Butter on the shoulder, “stay strong buddy.” He didn’t seem to notice. 

Right at that moment, Babycorn had a eureka moment. 

“I know exactly where this is!” Babycorn shouted, throwing her map in the air and running back to her friends. 

“There we go.” Lunya was proud of herself. That was right on cue. 

“Do you really?” Coco asked. As with everything Babycorn did, there was room to be a little skeptical about it. Such as the time when Babycorn assured Coco that she definitely knew how to use a power saw. “Sometimes I can still hear the screams…” Coco shivered. 

Babycorn scoffed, “Of course I do! This is nothing like that time with the water slide!” 

This time it was B’ig Nunh who shivered all over. “Sometimes I can still hear the screams…” 

Cherrypit giggled to himself. That had been a really fun day. It was fun seeing so many people running and screaming like little ants. He grabbed the map from the ground and waddled over to the car. “We found it!” Cherrypit held it up so everyone could see.

“Alright!” Babycorn ran over to the driver's seat of the regalia and honked the horn. “I know where it is so let me drive there!” It should be stated that Coco was already sitting in the driver’s seat, currently doing his best to push Babycorn out of taking over the seat. “Over my dead body!” Coco used his entire body to keep Babycorn away from the steering wheel. 

“That’s the idea!” 

“What?!”

“Kidding!” Babycorn winked with both eyes and jumped back, seemingly giving up her quest to drive. “If I can’t drive then I’m gonna ride in the back then and kick your seat!” 

“Kick! Kick!” Cherrypit followed his sister to the back.

“Don’t do that!” Coco panicked, “Lunya! Tell her not to do that!”

“Babycorn don’t kick Coco’s seat or you won’t get any gummy worms when we get back.” 

Babycorn knew that Lunya meant business when she brought food into the conversation. “Eep.” She sat back and crossed her legs. “Fine!” From her very cramped back seat Babycorn tried her best to give directions but ultimately decided that having Cherrypit sit on top of Coco’s hatless head would be easier.

That way she could lean her head on Butter’s shoulder and wait until they got there. 

Butter let out a noise that sounded like a deflating balloon. He was completely still, in fear that moving so much as an ilm would completely ruin everything. On the other side of the backseat Vertical and B’ig Nunh were squeezed together. 

“Do you ever feel like a third wheel Vertical?” B’ig Nunh cried.

“no. not really.” She wasn’t a wheel. She was a Vertical.

After a few tries or so and an incident where Cherrypit fell out of the car, the party finally made it to their destination. That being somewhere with a strange looking rock and a cactus that sorta looked like Himbo’s head. At least, that’s what Babycorn had told Coco when she gave him the directions. 

Lunya tilted her body to the side. “Huh…You know it does look a lot like Himbo’s head.” From a certain angle it did. Coco and Vertical joined Lunya in looking at the cactus. Both of them let out a synched pair of “Ooooh’s” when they tilted their view to get a good luck at the view Lunya was seeing. 

“it's pretty uncanny” Vertical agreed. 

Babycorn meanwhile was looking around for any sign of the treasure around. “It should be around here…!” She put her ear on the ground and scratched at the dirt. As if that somehow would help her find a chest that was above ground. Cherrypit looked around with her, until he noticed something. “Is that?” he asked, pointing at a treasure chest just behind of Babycorn. 

And when I say just behind, I mean it was literally behind her. No one had wanted to say anything. Not until it had been past ten minutes and Babycorn still hadn’t found it. 

“Oh! That’s it!” Babycorn cheered, “Everyone I found it! We’re rich!!” Without even waiting for everyone to join her–Babycorn opened the chest and activated the usual trap. Within seconds several monsters surrounded her. 

“AAAAAAAAAA!! We’re not rich yet!” Coco was quick to remind her. None of them we’re going to bask in any of the spoils if they all died. “Go B’ig Nunh go!” 

B’ig Nunh wasn’t even the tank of the group. For some reason all the enemies that were drawn in always just seemed to attack him. He was also a viper at this very moment so arguably he was even easier to kill. “Everyone hates B’ig Nunh :(“ he lamented. 

Then after a harrowing battle that must have been seen to be believed–the treasure was all for the taking. 

Without even waiting a second, Babycorn cracked the treasure chest wide open. 

And inside there was…

“A rock.” Babycorn pulled out an annite stone and threw it over her shoulder. Cherrypit jumped up and caught the rock mid-air. Though everyone clapped at Cherrypit’s feat it was still a little disappointing that there wasn’t anything better inside the treasure chest. “Did you check all the way at the bottom?” Lunya asked. 

“Yup!” By now Babycorn was halfway in the treasure chest, as small as she was she could still very well see all the way inside. “Nothing else!”

“Pooie!” Cherrypit shouted.

“Cherry! Language!” Coco reminded him. 

Cherrypit nodded, showing he understood what Coco had said. He would rectify his mistake immediately. 

“Piss!” 

“Noooooooo!” Coco was crying now.

Babycorn kicked the treasure chest one last time before it poofed away into nothingness. This was her fifth chest so far that had contained nothing but a rock. Which was great news for Cherrypit’s rock collection but not so great for her. “Do you think I’m cursed or something?” Her eyes were watery as she looked towards her friends. 

Vertical walked up to Babycorn and knelt down to pat her on the pom. “babycorn if you’re cursed then we’re all cursed. together.” 

“I don’t wanna curse you guys too?!?!” Babycorn wailed loudly. 

This time Lunya cut in, “No. no. You see, if we're all cursed eventually the curse will cancel itself out and we’ll all be okay!” 

“Oh! Okay!” That made sense. 

Besides, how could she be cursed with such nice friends at her side! And also Butter. 

“Huh?!” Butter jumped up in shock, “What do you mean-?! And also Butter?!” What did that make him!?

Babycorn looked confused at first, then after the gears turned in her head a little she looked like she realized something. “Oh! That’s cause you’re not my friend! It’s cause you’re my boy friend!” Then she started to laugh. For a suspiciously long time. 

Butter’s face turned pink.

Lunya leaned in closer to Babycorn, a tired look on her face. “Uh-huh. And is there a reason why you call only Butter your boy friend?” 

“Well cause Coco is my Coco-friend and B’ig Nunh is my B’ig-friend! Duh!” 

“Right.”

Truly the way that Babycorn’s brain worked would be a mystery for the rest of time.

[voidsentprinces]

Also I refer to Shadowbringers being the climax of the story and Endwalker being the victory lap because narratively Emet is sort of our nemesis. He founds the Garlean Empire which births Nael and brings about the the Seventh Umbral Calamity, brings forth Gaius and Lahabrea and the Ultima Weapon for A Realm Reborn, conquers Ala Mhigo leading to Ilberd’s actions from Post ARR through Post Heavensward, conquered Doma and is the grandsire of Zenos for the events of Stormblood, and is the narrative device Ishikawa uses to express the lore behind our unknown past, bringing forth information for the time of Ancients, the true nature of Zodiark and Hydaelyn. He gives us the information that turned the Ascians into Saturday Morning Cartoon villains into humanized characters. Us fusing with Ardbert and facing him feels like a climax when “Shadowbringers” begins playing and reflects the conflict between the both of us. “One brings shadow, one brings the light, two toned echoes tumbling through time, three score wasted, ten casted aside, four-fold knowing, no end in sight.” And while aiding us through Elidibus fight. He narrates our journey through Endwalker and aids us at the tail end before going away forever like a brief moment of the bad guy joins forces with us when there is a bigger fish to fry.

The path from Sharlayan through the fight with Zodiark feels rushed and feels like if they could extended 5.X - a 5.10 process, the battle with Zodiark would of been the prelude to Endwalker where we handle the rest of the Final Days. The fight Endwalker is the falling action. He get time to visit all those who aided us in our journey, we face Garlemald where they go from killable trash mob to actual characters, we learn of Hydaelyn’s design for the Moon and Loporitts, we sort of travel here and there barely fighting battles as we deal with the first wave of the Final Days in Thavnair. But immediately set off to Elpis before returning to the end of the universe of Ultima Thule. We get varied goodbye moments with those we befriended along the way. And when the second phase of Endsinger kicks in, its very much a “Roll the credits” on our long journey. Even the battle with Zenos feels like an after thought, one last thing to put to bed before we start a new. The stakes weren’t particularly high, Meteion very much felt like, “Lets give the apocalypse a face for you to punch and somehow connect with.” A kind of villain behind the villains that only had an expansion to have the light. The Superboss hanging around the hideout of the final boss in an early Final Fantasy installment.

We knew the Ascians. We fought the Ascians from the very inception of FFXIV and 5.0 - 5.3 felt like we dealt with the Ascians fully. Even Eden is about closing out two Ascians involved in the First’s destruction. 5.4 - 6.0 feels like, tie up the lose ends. Find hope in the friends you met along the way. Learn more the eldest of Primals and their respective sources. Hell, have one final chat with Elidibus without pomp and circumstance. Have a heart to heart with the Emissary for the first and last time ever. The post patches of Endwalker still feel like that, here is the story of Lahabrea you didn’t get to see. Here are the Twelve you’ve ever only heard about in passing. Here is Igeyorhm’s and by extension, the Ascian’s greatest failure, the Thirteenth Shard, the Void and what is going on in there. Lets tie up all these loose ends so by 6.4 we can begin anew truly.

Shadowbringers is where it all came to a head. Endwalker was picking up the left overs and tying it off to begin a new. Emet-Selch and Elidibus are our nemesis in a sense. The Endsinger is the exhilarating, world has slowed down so seconds feel like hours, final run around all bases to savor the victory of a Homerun. Complete with a victory song.

But thats just me.

A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES!