#thats how much that thang shaped my personality

[pyro-madder]

if you guys ever wonder what the inside of my brain looks like,

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

What is UP moonlight and ire nation, Im being tormented by intrusive thoughts rn, so I have decided to read a chapter of A Court of Mist and Fury and hope they stop when Im done with this. Last time on the Flames and Darkness Liveblog we had Lucien finally finding Feyre and Feyre being needlessly cruel to him until he left again. also, Feyre used her Tamlin-powers to shapeshift herself a pair of wings and I think that was pretty much it, I feel like not a lot happens in these chapters tbh. And yet I always have so much to say to say about them... Whatever, lets get into this

Chapter 48

Is Feyre smelling the other people at this inn having sex? what kinda smells and noises is she talking about

Theyre in a village that consists of just the inn theyre staying at, a tailor, a grocery store and a brothel? I mean presumably theres actual houses there too but that doest seem right. Also, if its as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as Feyre claims, where the hell are they getting groceries and what kind of groceries are they selling

of course theres only ONE BED and its soooooo small oh noooo do you guys think theyre gonna have sex or what

Oh and of course Feyre cant demand that Rhysand sleep on the floor because its too small to even do that theyre gonna have the wildest sex, and by wildest sex I mean theyre both gonna squeeze each other into the bed under the comically small ceiling of this broomcloset of a room and lay on top of each other without moving like a sandwhch made out of just faemeat

I feel like a cape thats cut to fit around these bigass illyrian wings would lose a lot of its functionality tbh, unless it was like, a wrapping for the wings to protect them from the cold, but I dont think thats the case with Rhysand's cape, i think it either just has holes or is some kind of weird shape, but I feel like if your in these harsh winter winds, having a cape fluttering around your wings would be pretty distracting considering how sensitive supposedly they are

WAIT. do we count this cape as a new Rhys-outfit or do we not. Im on the fence because on one hand, he's just wearing it with his usual illyrian leathers and its really just an accessoire, like I wouldnt count what he wore in the CoN as a new outfit just because he wore a crown with his black tunic, but on the other hand, I feel like a cape can really drastically alter the look of an outfit in a way most other acessoires cant. let me know what you think

of COURSE feyre would call the hypothetical painting she would make of Rhysand 'Death on Fast Wings' im gonna commit a crime

'"I love it when you look at me like that. [...] Like there's no reason to run away from my power. Like you're looking at me."' Does this imply that Rhysand identifies with the descriptor 'death on fast wings' because idk that seems weird. then again, he is a weirdo

Rhysand's pronouns are death/incarnate <- thought that popped into my head while I was writing the previous bullet point

By far the worst part about this book are all the sections where Feyre will just suck Rhysand off for a paragraph, she would not fucking say that

'"No, [you weren't afraid of me]. You were nervous, but you weren't afraid. I've felt pure fear often enough that I know the difference. Maybe that's why I couldn't leave you alone."' god, rhysand is such a creepy little freak. and not the good kind either

Feyre is being all like "oh, sure, the bed isnt small but we couldnt possibly both sleep in it without completely getting into each other's personal space, especially with his wings" girl??? tell him to put those thangs away???

god this paragraph is so annoying 'Fae-men were possessive, dominant and arrogant but the men of the Spring Court had a certain disregard [for my wishes] laying beneath the the surface' my brother in christ you have been in two and a half (2 1/2) courts and you know seven (7) fae-men personally

Also, this part where Feyre is like "if I was wasting away and Rhysand just stood by without doing anything about it, Cassian and Azriel would've gotten involved and given him a piece of their minds" is so funny knowing whats gonna happen in acosf, like no they fucking wouldnt! what are you talking about!

Oh man it just occurred to me. this is the chapter where Feyre finds out theyre mates isnt it. Or like, this part whre theyre at this inn is when she finds out, Im pretty sure itll last for multiple chapters

"[Rhysand] saw right through Ianthe the moment he met her." yeah because she broke into his bedroom and sexually harassed him and just outright told him that she wanted to have his children for the sake of power ?? I would hope he would see through that

I feel like theres been this pattern in this book of Feyre only being able to compliment Rhys in contrast with Tamlin and its very strange because you would think that after speedrunning their relationship development and spending about 500 pages worth of time with him, she would be able to point out some of his positives without immediately connecting them to her ex's negatives, but I guess thats too much to ask of this ROMANCE

Like, I forgot if this was something Feyre already said or if this is still coming up but I know theres a point in this book where she's like "I think I just loved Tamlin pre-UTM because I was so broken and traumatized from my shitty homelife that I fell for the first person to show me some kindness" and that is not how their relationship felt in ACOTAR at all atleast in my opinion, but that definitely is how Feysand feels in this book

I really hate it when male characters are described as having "hard muscles" it sounds so unpleasant. im saying this primarily as someone who likes to read about characters cuddling and prefers it when theyre soft for that, but even if we're just talking smut, does having sex with a "hard" guy sound pleasant to you? or, well. you know what i mean

!! NEW RHYS-OUTFIT DROPPED !! hes wearing wide thin pants (even though theyre sleeping in an ice cold broom closet) and a tight cotton shirt, both of unspecified color

Oh yeah, Rhysand is just sooooooo powerful you guys, he needs to constantly use his magic otherwise itll just take him over and turn him into the joker

'Everyone at his Court had a use, some kind of great ability. And here I was, a strange, unpredictable hybrid that was more trouble than it's worth.' girl you are literally fae jesus what the hell are you talking about

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this part where Rhys n Feyre are telling each other about how they would tear the world apart if they were ever forcefully seperated is so deeply annoying to me

Im not gonna translate the shit Rhysand just said to Feyre, tldr he thinks shes hot and wants to fuck her but the room is too small for that woe is him, and ughhhh. Im struggling to explain this in a way that doesnt make me sound puritanical, but something about the horniness of their relationship makes it feel really gross to me, its not just the fact that this relationship is horny because I can very much enjoy a horny fictional relationship sometimes, but the horny relationships that I usually enjoy are like, warm and pleasant from the eroticism of it all, Feysand is just kinda gross and sticky to me

Feyre's negative self-talk in regards to her feelings for Rhysand and Tamlin feels so forced, like cmon man, you keep talking about how much Tamlin sucks ass and how much better Rhys is for you how are you still experiencing any kind of inner conflict about this

Also, Feyre talking about how she was constantly thinking about Rhysand even before she left the spring court is just, a lie. does SJM not expect her readers to remember anything

Now theyre spooning and Feyre is stroking his wings and Rhysand is humping her and its like, this isnt sexy to me this is just kinda weird

bro how come Ive never seen anyone talk about Rhysand being like "I love your boobs so much, oh, you dont even know how much I love them" thats so funny

The rest of this chapter was just Rhysand fingering Feyre and honestly, it wasnt too bad, with the extreme proximity and him warming her up I can see why some people would find it hot but idk. its still a sjm smut scene and its german which makes it pretty unpleasant for me

[hyjiinx]

ok youve responded to my ask, activating the Uber Powers of my Uber Autism.

i am the singular person to she/her the mimic. i took one look and went "girl" i am going to fight on this hill and i dont plan on dying [/silly do yalls thang]

ive reached a state of fnaf nirvana, where i have realized that this series a kind of complicated that atp anything goes about the story its trying to tell. thus i like to keep the book's lore on the mimic at an arms reach, and tentatively take it into consideration because the books complicate everything

anyways, the mimic Does Not Understand death. like. she has never been given the chance to understand the concept.

at this point its undeniable that she has achieved some form of sentience. like. in the games she does/say things that aren't nessecary to her goal. shes almost kinda sassy? girlboss.

if youve ever watched Ride the Cyclone, i'd imagine that she'd act a lot like Jane Doe at her core/base/"not mimicing anyone in particular"

no matter how much i love the mimic, however, i think steel wool is really fucking up how cool the mimic is. like. for the love of god dont make her another afton i would literally commit vehicular manslaughter if thats true. it almost kind of feels like they dont know what to do with her? like she doesnt even appear in help wanted 2 in any way, shape, or form

just a funny thing ive noticed while reading the mimic's stories in the book, the writing seems to significantly increase whenever she appears. its a bit bizzarre

YESSSS!! SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG, I GOT DISTRACTED

[shuckinbeanz]

MAHITO personality and other hcs

a bunch of Mahito HCs, some nsfw under the cut

warnings/notes: Mahito is his own warning and i basically copy/paste his thang hcs. There's an OOC snippet at the end, but it can't be helped, consent is the word in this cave

MINORS 👏 DNI! 👏 AGE 👏 IN 👏 BIO 👏 OR 👏 DNI! 👏 Head on over to @candybowbeansies please for my SFW pieces, or be blocked if you interact here! 😇

-Mahito is a fucking curse of humanity okay

-he’s the embodiment of humanity’s sadistic nature. fears.

-lets face it. kids are scary. thats why they get featured in horror movies. thats why he has a childlike personality.

-i don’t see him being capable of any ‘overbearing’ emotions human adults go through, such as being in love, or hating someone/something enough to kill/destroy them/it. i only see his mental capacity being more childlike. puppylove(nothing too deep), infatuation(yes, including the ‘i like seeing your face contorted in pain as you die’ kind of infatuation, too), obsession, and i see him being prone to temper tantrums when something doesn't go his way.

-how he smells

-okay so i get people thinking he stinks bc he hides out in the sewers but not OUR Mahito in dis hous

-literally smells like death but not the gross putrid kind its hard to explain but he smells like iron in the blood

-bb boy smells metallic

-how he tastes

-legit tastes like metal when you shove your tongue down his throat or vice versa kiss him. surprisingly its not strong at all! its a pleasant zing 🥴

-his cum tastes slightly salty. he eats whatever he wants once in a blue fucking moon he’s a curse he dont eat much human food if any at all

-his thang 😩

-basically a repeat copy/paste of Mahito’s breeding hcs but dayum 😩

-he is 10 inches

-omfg he is thicc

-legit second thickest of the men to Aoi FuckMeDaddy Todo

-and you can't tell me he doesn't have stitches upper left of his thang 😩 shaped like a ✞ like for ref here the top of it to get an idea

| | |

|--|----|

| | |

| | |

| | |

-the t of the ✞ goes all the way around

-and it runs the bottom of the ✞ is towards his pubes and thins out towards the tip

-and believe me when i say that they are sensitive so lick em

-his balls are slightly heavy and you can jiggle them in the palm of your hand

-bb boi can cum lots but will never blow a huge load like Sukuna can

-HOLY MOTHER OF HELL THIS ASSHOLE ENLARGES HIMSELF FOR THE SOLE REASON TO MAKE YOU SQUEAL WHEN YOU RIDE HIM

-SO PUNISH THE CHEEKY MF

-HE’S A SADOMASOCHIST SO FUCKING HURT HIM PAIN MAKES HIM GO BRRRR 🥵

-what to expect with him

-oh honey NEVER expect him to say he loves you. ‘you’re such a pretty little thing.’ ‘i’m so glad you can see me. hear me. smell me coming.’ ‘you’re my favorite human.’ ‘you taste so good.’ ‘you smell so delicious…’

-when he’s got an idea in his pretty little head mans WILL hound you until you give into what he desires. no ifs, ands, or buts. you won't be able to ignore him.

-this is OOC for him, but in this cave we're allllll about consent; if you refuse because you don't wanna try his idea, he won't kill you bc your sm*sh game's too good, keyword BUT he will throw a hissy fit so either fuck him and choke it out of him, or let him have a good fuck sesh on your holes he needs to vent 😂

[intothespideyverses]

a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]:��

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah. 

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis! 

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it. 

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie. 

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window. 

“that’s it!” 

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack. 

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on. 

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals. 

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis. 

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that. 

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot. 

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does. 

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END. 

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!

[tamiddyinyourcity]

10:29pm.

I am so bored.

Wednesday, March 23rd of 2020.

What the actual fuck.

I was in a good mood and creating, after seeing every angel number in existence telling me to use my personal skills to my advantage, to create, and all that.....

But, things happened.

The cute guy I was talking to had to go to bed. It's not like I'm gonna die, but like, it sure as hell felt like death to be sucked back into loneliness again.

I was flipping through a sketchbook I forgot I had. Found two of Patrick's paintings, that we made at the library near my house.... Not gonna lie, it almost made me tear up some. Imagine thinking you're over it, but seeing a white square on a slightly off-white canvas, (he likes niche abstract art, and, he wasnt one to actually tear the art out of my books to bring them home with him... sweet that he let me have them, really,) is what makes you tear up.

That alone had depressed me for the rest of the evening.

And I also paid nearly 30 dollars for Doordash. It was ribs, mac and cheese, greens, bread, and beans. 20-something, plus the stupid ass delivery fees they have.

Ugh.

The food wasnt warm, the mac and cheese was oddly wet and gloppy, (if you know the BLACK version of baked mac and cheese.... then you know, its not supposed to be runny.....) And the ribs were dry and flat. Overall disappointing...... plus baked beans spilled all inside the bag, since the nimrods decided to put LIQUID SWEET BEANS in one of those clear plastic countainers, with no seal whatsoever, that people usually put cakes in or whatever.

One of these, but with FUCKING BEANS SPILLING OUT OF IT. MY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY ANGER HERE?

Not like I'm the type to take that anger out on anybody. Smiling and thanking my Doordasher, being disgusted at the least satisfying meal ever that I paid too much for, (ironically after a talk with my hot new twitter boo thang about how capitalism forces people to work to afford to eat, but overprices food and other services, more than whats needed to make it,) aaaaaaand....

I was upset by it.

Plus, I can't find any of my art supplies? The con of deepcleaning and reorganizing my entire bedroom, is losing track of every single thing ever.... I can't even watercolor, not with my good 5 dollar chuck Michaels paints. The one I can find is shit..... eugh. I am disappointed.

Just.... not feeling too amazing today.

But, in other news:

Met someone new. Not sure how I even first met them, but my guess is that after I followed a bunch of marxist pages around the time I first joined twitter, (thanks to my ex,) they were one of em or something. I thought they were LGBT, they were not. (I either have terrible eyesight, or all the non-toxic men in my life are just extremely attractive. I don't mean to sound transphobic, its just a thought in the back of my head like, "Their lips are super pigmented, and their eyelashes are hella long. Never really have seen many guys with that far shape before". But I never bring it up, since, thatd be rude. But nope, just a super pretty cis dude.)

It's a little sad, how its gonna be yet another case of "Tamia has absolutely no diversity in her taste in men", and thats a LIE, A DAMN LIE, HONESTLY. I have gotten DM slides from all shapes, shades, and sizes. And the few that I would've gone for, lost their chances. (Like the men that decided blatantly asking me to uber to their mattress-on-the-floor headass apartments.... at the dead of night would somehow be okay.... i imagine that its easy for female thieves to rob niggas blind. They dont give a damn about their safety, just a nut.) Or the guy that, when flirting, decided that sticking his tongue out for a photo and saying "insert titty here" would somehow work..... you gotta be at least a 6/10 to ride this ride, sir.

The guy I'm seeing isn't exactly different. But, attractive enough to have their flirting work, and somewhat interested in me beyond just enjoying my face or physical appearance.

I think it was just us mutually bonding over being depressed and unemployed geeks that were cocky, and stayed home all tbe time.

But hey, shit escalated. They're international, so its not like I can just fuck em, buuuuut so far hearing them talk about communism and knowing they're into me is keeping me afloat this week. Awesome. :)

Now it's the annoying, "They're just flirting, do not develop a crush on this person", stage. I never seem to learn the proper way to exit that stage?

It all depends on my level of desperation, and if I give a fuck about what they think of me.

Am I desperate for attention? -> yeah.

Do I care what they think of me? -> to an extent, yes, but only since the infatuation is getting to me.

Alright.

Cool.

Options:

Just pull a "no cap i have a crush on you that im trying to get over" card. (I think I told that to my ex, twice, and both times resulted in us dating? Not relevant, but amusing.) Dudes tend to understand, and usually will either A) do something to emotionally cripple me, or B) let me know they're not interested in anything past just fooling around. I doubt dating would be a thing, lmfao. They seem a little cocky for me to be the only girl they would confidently dm and try the schtick with.

Block them: I am NOT doing that. That does NOT go well. Stop blocking men you are too stubborn to confess to.

Fuck someone else: I can't rebound a rebound. That's how sexually transmitted diseases, or terrifying missed periods, happen to some people. I aspire to not be one of those people. :)

Just downgrade back to friends, with less "god ur pretty" and more just talking. It's not like I expected things to develop, but whatever.

Anyway.

Feels good to have some company for a pandemic.

It's also kinda sweet. They nonstop compliment me, even if just for the sake of knowing itd make me grin.

Maybe we could skype or some shit and try a movie watching livestream.

That would be fun as fuck.

11:31pm, imma do whatever the hell i want.

Thats all.

Peace out.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

>ACT 6 INTERMISSION 5 INTERMISSION 3

WAIT. WHY DIZZY THAT PLIZZLE GIVE ME TWO ELVES. 

Yoe call'n them elves nizzay? Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. 

YES. 

But T-H-to-tha-izzey're leprechauns! They call me tha black folks president. Or gnomes, according ta sizzle baloneyscholars. 

TIZZY CIZZLE NOW BE ADDITIONALLY REFERRED TA AS ELVES. I HIZZAY DECIDED. 

Brotha. 

WHIZZLE BE THERE TWO. 

Coz of tha twizzay fo` one deal. You sunk the 7th planet on tha break fo my bling bling. So when you destroyed tha 6th planizzle, you unlocked biznoth tha 6th n 7th elf. Nizzow yoe on tha 8th planet cuz its a pimp thang. Dis one D-to-tha-izzoesn't gizzy yizzy an elf. 

IT DOESN'T. 

No. 

WHAT 'BOUT A GNOME. 

No. 

W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT 'BOUT A LEPRECHAUN.

No. Yizzy gizzay nuttin. 

WHIZNY NOT. 

Coz yoe suppoze' ta skizzle this one and destroy it last. Yoe jizzay wast'n tizzy hang'n around here. The clock is tick'n. 

ALRIGHT. BIZNUT FIRST. I WANT TA GET THEY POWA STRAIGHT. BE I CORRECT 'N ASSUMING. THEY BROTHA KIZNEEP GETT'N MORE USELESS? 

Yes.  

JIZNUST AS I SUSPECTED. I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE. I JIZZLE WANT TA KNOW. SO ORANGE HAT. WE HAVE ESTABLISHED. J-TO-THA-IZZUST WALKS AHEEZEE OF ME ALL THA TIME. NO MATTA HOW FAR OFF HE WANDERS. N GIZZY LOST. I ALWAYS SIZZAY TA CIZZLE UP WIT HIM. 

Yes. 

N GREEN HAT. HE J-TO-THA-IZZUST HAS A DOLL. WIT PIZZINS 'N IT. 

Yes. WHIZZAY UP WIT THAT. He has a doll wit pins 'n it fo' sheezy. N spittin' that real shit?? Every time yizzy git a new elf, hizze'll tizzake crazy ass nigga pizzy out cuz Im tha Double O G. That all I will tiznell you. 

OK. GOTS IT. IT POINTLESS. MOV'N ON. MAROON HAT. I CIZZAN'T TELL WHAT HIZZY POWA BE. WHAT BE HIS POWER. 

He doesn't hizzave a powa. 

BE YIZZAY BUSTIN' GANG BANGIN' ME. 

No so bow down to the bow wow! 

THAT A NEW LOW. EVEN FO` THEZE SHIZZLE HEEZEES. 

But maroon hat is pretty smart! You cizzle uze him as a higha straight trippin' henchman or sum-m sum-m. Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. 

BEIN SMART ISN'T A POWER. PLUS. I DOUBT IT. HOW SMART CIZZAN ONE OF THEZE IMBIZZLE BE.

Yizzy should rap ta him n find out. I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. 

NO. 

C-to-tha-izzome on. J-to-tha-izzust a shawty friendly chat. 

FINE. I WILL HIZZAY A WIZZLE WIT HIM. VERY BRIEFLY. 

Ok. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. ... Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. Hey fo my bling bling. Be you still spendin' ta him? Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. Wow, you guys be really go'n at it there. What tha fizzuck cizzay you be talk'n 'bout for so L-to-tha-izzong? Thiznis is gett'n ridiculous. Tha pimp on tha nizzle cueball bomb be perpetratin' away. 

OK. I'M BACK. 

And? 

MAROON HIZZAT BE HIGHLY INTELLIZZLE N PERSONABLE. I HIZZY DECIDED HE BE MAH FAVORITE HOMEY SO FAR. 

Sizzle? I told you. 

I WILL GIVE HIM SIZZLE IMPORTANT RESPONSIBIZZLE LATER. BUT I HAVE NOT DECIDIZZLE WHAT. 

Maybe he can hold on ta sum-m sum-m important fo` yizzy. 

GOOD IDEA. LIKE WHAT? OH, I KNOW. MAH CALTOP. No not tha caltop. Tru niggaz do niggaz. That dumb. 

MAH GAT in tha hood? 

No. 

OH! MAH CANDY. 

No yizzou idiot! 

FUCK YOU. IF YOU HIZZY AN IDEA. THEN JUST TELL ME WHIZZLE IT BE. PUZZLEMAN. 

Look at tha colizzle of hizzy hat. Whiznat elze do yizzou have that T-H-to-tha-izzat color like this and like that and like this and uh? 

UHH. 

Also, what object can you think of that kizzy shaped lizzy a 7? 

HMM. OH!!! OHHHHHHHHHHH. OF COURZE. A BOOMERANG! It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. 

Ok, I give up. 

I WIZZLE MIZZAY A MENTAL NOTE TO SECURE A BOOMERANG 'N THA FUTURE. YES. IT MAKIZZLE SO MUCH SENZE. TO BE A BOOMERANG. THEMATICALLY. COZ IT ALWAYS COMES B-TO-THA-IZZACK AROUND. IN ONE BIG CIRCLE. LIZZIKE ALL THA TIME SHIT. I'M SUPPOZE' TO BE 'BOUT! 

... 

OK. LIZZY QUESTION. WHIZZLE BE PURPLE HAT. CONSTIZZLE DANC'N 'N MAH PRESIZZLE? Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. 

Yeah. I gizzuess 'n retrospect, purple hat hiznas always bizzeen pretty flirtatious, hasn't he fo' sheezy? 

WHIZZAY thats off tha hook yo?! 

Maybe you should trizzle ta be open minded though. Hizzy you eva considered a  relationship with someone? Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. Maybe yizzay will discover yizzle hizzay neva truly experienced jiznoy untizzle you have bizzay 'n  witta dancing elf. 

-- Caliborn has spiked hizzis caltop on tha grizzound 'n disgust. --

> END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSIZZLE 5 INTERMISSION 3

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

==>

Yizzy be situated near tha game construct supply by yo' sizzle fo` causing tha Scratch, yizzle? 

TT fo' sheezy: Be you actually ask'n? 

No. Keep'n it gangsta dogg. That was a fact, n thizzay a question mark. 

TT: Ah. TT: Well, yes, I be. TT with the S-N-double-O-P: It a large plateau shaped like a record. It called tha Beat Miznesa. 

I know. 

TT: Be tha game constrizzle different 'n otha sessions aww nah? 

Yes. It will alwizzles be an edifice of similarly cizzy desizzle, located on tha planet that be home ta tha Hizzy of Time. Its envizzle dictates tha nizzle of its constrizzle. Its drug deala be dangerous, n be meant ta be utilize' only 'n emergencies such as yours. 

TT: You mean, 'n sessions whiznere victorizzle be no longa possible? 

Yes. 

TT: Due to mackin' an unstoppable adversary? Who pimp tha reckon'n prematurelizzle? TT, niggaz, better recognize: Be that sort of emergencizzle common with my forty-fo' mag? 

No cuz its a G thang. Failure be common, niggaz, better recognize. But tha composition of yizzours is qizzay atypizzle. 

TT now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe: Ok with my forty-fo' mag. TT: Thiznen, it like a panic button fo` tha playas to piznush once they realize tha cauze be lizzost. 

Yes, bizzy caus'n tha Scratch be nizzay an easy T-to-tha-izzask baller thats off tha hook yo. The cizzle must be destroyed 'n a very specific way ta releaze its energizzle. Tha keeper of mah ectobizzle cracka began tha prizzles. It must be finizzle. 

TT: Who?

Tha guardian of tha Knizzle of Time. 

TT: Dave bro? 

Yiznes. 

TT: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. How do I fizzle it cuz I'm fresh out the pen? 

Yizzle don't. Not yizzay personally. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. Poser will. You have sum-m sum-m more important ta attend ta, rappa? Hollaz to the East Side. 

TT: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Oh, right. TT spittin' that real shit: Tha Grizzeen... TT: Wiznait. TT if you gots a paper stack: Tha Green Siznun . 

Yizzle, chill yo. 

TT: I'd planned to takes care of thizzle lata, once John had retrizzle tha Tumor. 

Tumor. 

TT: Tru niggaz do niggaz. Whateva. 

Your plizzay wiznill hizzle ta change. Yizzy aren't ready ta cauze tha Scrizzatch yet. Like I said, it difficult. Tru niggaz do niggaz. 

TT fo' sho': What will tha one who does it have to do? I S-H-to-tha-izzould let them know where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'. 

He wizzill hizzle ta scriznatch tha surface of the plateau across its full diameta. 

TT: I sizzle cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. TT: Chill as I take you on a trip. Dis terminology cizzy be very literizzle sometimes. 

You wiznill require a certain nizzle ta create a breach 'n tha surface thizzay wiznill be adequate. 

TT: Its just anotha homocide. I have needles. 

Your needles won't suffizzle. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin.  

TT: Then whiznere do I git ones tizzy will with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin? 

Again, yizzou won't. Dis tizzay be out of yo' hands. Tha needles must be acquired from tha denizen of tha Witch of Space. Ha qiznuills be very lizzle n potent. They wiznill be able ta cauze tha Scriznatch. You gotta check dis shit out yo. 

TT: Hollaz to the East Side. Dis really seems mizzy elizzle than you lead me ta bizzle so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. 

I didn't liznead you ta believe anyth'n. I tizzold you ta find tha construct n await advisemizzle on tha Sizzy. Tha plans yizzay were mak'n were baze' on assizzles n fabrications of yo' imaginatizzle. Real niggas recognize the realness. You wizzle writ'n mizzay stories, much like those 'bout yo' falze magical mizzen. Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. 

TT: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. I wish what I'd written in mah private jizzles could be confined ta yo' dark spots. 

I don't. I F-to-tha-izzind yo' stories entertain'n. 

TT: Yoe bein creepy again. 

No I'm nizzy. Besides, tha White K'n agrees with me. 

TT: What? 

Fo` a Baller, yo' vision of evizzles surround'n you be bitch limited. It charm'n.  

TT: Death row 187 4 life. J-to-tha-izzust, TT in tha dogg pound: Pleaze stop compliment'n me in tha mutha fuckin club. 

No in tha dogg pound.

> ==>