#thats a weird lookin dog u got there

[charcoaldustonmyfingers]

I love this iteration of April! Her no nonsense attitude is a very funny contrast to the brothers, even though she is just as willing to throw hands as any of them. She’s bat-shit crazy(affectionate)

Also Mayhem! Every version of TMNT needs a funky little guy as the family pet. Wish we got to see more of the both of them!

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 6291-6297

JADE: excuse me but did you just "laugh your ass off" at me under your breath

ROXY: ummm

ROXY: yea

ROXY: maybe

JADE: :|

JADE: i fail to see what is so amusing

ROXY: u do

ROXY: seriously?

JADE: .....

JADE: ok i guess the situation is a little funny because of this absurd folder

JADE: and the fact that i woofed at you probably didnt help either

JADE: but im not here to share a good laugh over the old ladys sense of design or her penchant for scrapbooking!

JADE: i am here to make sure that you do as youre told

ROXY: ugh

JADE: now take the file and review your assignment

ROXY: i already looked at it

ROXY: its dumb and impossible and i aint cooperating w her regardless!

JADE: yes you will

ROXY: can we change the subject

JADE: no

ROXY: arent you jakes grandma

JADE: thats what he told me when we were pen pals

JADE: but i think its more accurate to say im his alternate universe biological daughter

ROXY: oh

ROXY: that clears that up then

JADE: yes, it does :p

JADE: now take the damn folder

ROXY: so alt grannydaughter english

ROXY: whyre u part dog + evil lookin

JADE: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!!

ROXY: what

JADE: my surname is harley not english

JADE: but you may refer to me as jade, or ma'am if you are feeling especially nervous and deferential

JADE: which as it turns out is the way you should be feeling about me, ALWAYS >:B

ROXY: LOL!!!

JADE: lol WHAT

ROXY: jade i am in no way buying that ur normally this pompous and tyrannical

ROXY: the shtick rly doesnt suit you its so obvious

ROXY: why you doin the batterhags tacky bidding anyway

ROXY: she got you under an xtra terrestrial fish spell or

JADE: SILENCE!!!!!!

ROXY: OOF!

JADE: open the file

ROXY: mrphmmphumph

JADE: OPEN IT!

ROXY: fine :(

ROXY: ok i opened it

ROXY: hey look its the same shit as before

ROXY: im supposed to make this weird knobbly spike ball appear out of nothin

JADE: yes

ROXY: ok got it

ROXY: let me give it a shot then

ROXY: ...

ROXY: welp still impossible

ROXY: what now maam??

JADE: it is not impossible

ROXY: is 2

JADE: you are the rogue of void

JADE: dont you know what that means?

ROXY: i dunno

ROXY: means i can turn invisible and stuff?

ROXY: like the blonde in that crappy superhero quartet

JADE: it means a lot more than that

JADE: your true powers are more impressive than those of anyone else in your crappy quartet

JADE: in fact i would say they are almost as cool as mine >:)

ROXY: not sure the ability to make weird spikeballs outta nothin is all that cool tbh

JADE: not just spikeballs!

JADE: imagine that your title is roughly synonymous with "one who steals nothing"

JADE: what do you think it means to be able to steal nothing?

ROXY: it means

ROXY: im like a shitty cat burglar who sucks at her job?

JADE: WRONG

JADE: it means just the opposite

JADE: it means you can steal the essence of nothingness from something

JADE: you can rob nothingness from an idea if you put your mind to it

JADE: effectively allowing you to conjure virtually anything out of thin air

ROXY: omg

ROXY: u cant be serious

ROXY: that is way too much superpower 4 a dork like me 2 have

JADE: grrrrr...

ROXY: oh no

ROXY: pls dont growl @ me dogjade

ROXY: is legit frightening :(

JADE: im sorry, but your remarks of self deprecation made me very angry

JADE: once i was even more of a dork than you

JADE: but now i am one of the most powerful beings who has ever existed

JADE: i dont want to hear any whining about what you think you cant do

JADE: you are hereby under strict orders from myself and her condescension to "clam up" and conjure that orb, do you understand?

ROXY: so im just supposed to

ROXY: sit here and think about this ugly ball

ROXY: and twiddle my fingers or somethin

ROXY: ?

JADE: you tell me

JADE: space is my racket, not void

ROXY: maybe it would help if i knew what the dang thing WAS

ROXY: how am i supposed to steal the nonexistence from a concept when the concept only exists in my mind as "ugly ball"

JADE: its called the matriorb

JADE: it is the key to resurrecting the troll race

JADE: once you create it the empress will hatch it on an uninhabited planet located beyond the reach of her cruel employer

JADE: there her people will have another chance to thrive without the ever looming threat of extinction that comes with his influence

JADE: so you see roxy, there is nothing noble about refusing to help

JADE: once an entire alien race went extinct because of a terrible monster, and you can help give them a second chance

JADE: dont you want that?

ROXY: um

ROXY: in theory sure i guess

ROXY: but ur basically asking me to bring a lot of people back to life so they can be slaves to that witch

ROXY: u want me to help make all these fresh new trolls but then just turn em over to her? like here you go have fun SNORKELBITCH MEGAHITLER

ROXY: i do not actually think i wanna do that??

JADE: yes fair enough, but heres the other thing...

JADE: if you dont i am going to kill you

ROXY: oh noes

JADE: oh yesses!

JADE: a literal plurality of yesses

JADE: seeing as you are a god tier it is very likely you will come back to life

JADE: so i can just keep killing you over and over a different way each time

JADE: maybe i will disembowel you a few times

JADE: i will not even need to use my sharp doggy teeth!

JADE: i will just snap my fingers and your delicious guts will teleport outside your body

ROXY: ew!

JADE: no way more like yum

JADE: i will just keep on killing you again and again

JADE: until you finally get tired of dying and follow your orders

ROXY: maaan

ROXY: evil jade is sucky jade

JADE: i believe you will find i am the suckiest jade there is

JADE: now we are going to be here in this cell for as long as it takes

JADE: i am not going anywhere until you try doing your voidey thing and make something appear

JADE: is that understood?

ROXY: blehhhh

ROXY: fine

ROXY: why u gotta be so awful jade

ROXY: really putting a cramp on us makin choice new friends w each other

ROXY: oh well here goes

ROXY: all twiddlin my fingers and such

ROXY: busting out tha MAJYYXXX! prayin up a storm to the holy wizardchrist they aint fake...

ROXY: alright check it

ROXY: one jank ass space egg coming up

ROXY: ABRACA HAPPEN!

ROXY: this is not a space egg

JADE: no, its not

ROXY: balls

ROXY: guess i effed up my void spell

ROXY: what is this thing

JADE: thats a perfectly generic object

ROXY: its perfectly generic?

JADE: yes

ROXY: dunno about that

ROXY: looks like a green cube to me

ROXY: with like

ROXY: slightly beveled corners

JADE: thats what a perfectly generic object is

ROXY: couldnt something theoretically be more generic than this

JADE: how

ROXY: um

ROXY: i dunno

JADE: exactly

ROXY: :\

JADE: if you want your powers to reach their full potential youre going to need to become more familiar with the fundamental building blocks of ideas and how they translate into more complicated thoughts and forms

JADE: then it becomes a simple matter of using your abilities to snatch those concepts from unreality

ROXY: sounds too hard

ROXY: better start killing me repeatedly and get it over with

JADE: we both know you dont think its too hard, you think it sounds like an interesting challenge

ROXY: dammit!

ROXY: (fucken jakes wily bitch ass grandma)

JADE: this is a very good start though

JADE: with a little practice im sure our empress will have her orb in no time

ROXY: well at least i know i can make a whole lot of these boring cubes if all else fails

ROXY: hey maybe ill build a sick fort outta them

ROXY: hehehe jade tell me that wouldnt be so baller

JADE: it would be fairly baller

ROXY: fyeah

JADE: keep trying for that orb though

JADE: i will return in a while to review your progress

JADE: and remember, dont get any funny ideas

ROXY: but p much all my ideas are funny

JADE: i mean dont try to escape!

JADE: even if you are invisible i will be able to track you down instantly

JADE: my sense of smell is very good

JADE: now if youll excuse me i have some business to attend to

ROXY: what business

JADE: i am still trying to locate my brother

JADE: but im having trouble picking up his scent

JADE: hes using his windy powers to obscure the trail and its giving me fits

ROXY: windy powers eh

ROXY: who is your bro?

JADE: woof!!!

JADE: i mean shoosh :x

JADE: that is enough questions from you

JADE: now i believe you have a space egg to conjure

ROXY: (mumble mumble egg mumble shove it grumble)

JADE: what?

ROXY: (mumble mutter my fat ass)

JADE: farewell roxy

[frightgothcar]

2 :)

On the inside im always thinking about random and weirdly specific gray ghost au

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[pinkykitten]

Dancing Mission

Detroit: Become Human

Connor x female! reader

Warning: cussing, a sex offender dude, some blood

Specifics: comedy, violence, fluff, romance, man vs man, dancing, women power, race neutral reader

People: Connor, you, Hank Anderson, Devin James (oc), Carl Hunter (oc), Markus (mentioned)

Words: 2,993

Summary: You a cop as well, work with Hank and Connor to take down a man named Devin James. What you don’t know is you have to go undercover in a club. You end up dancing with Connor. 

Authors Note: i know is suck at summaries, im so used to just gettin the frickin request and just copy and paste u know. but omg i think i am in luv with this story. this is prob now one of my fav stories i have done. i have watched all of dbh on jacksepticeyes channel (lol im too cheap y’all) and it is one of my fav games. my sis luvs connor to pieces as do i (cuz he luvs dogs duh) so this is for her. i’ve wanted to write a dbh fic for the longest time so here it is. i really want to write more so pls request more of this and feedback is much appreciated here. 

“-so that means that we have to act natural like one of them,” Hank explained while driving to the destination. 

You, sitting in the back of the car thought about this mission. You have worked with Hank for a couple of months, you’re both practically friends. Maybe even BEST FRIENDS (lol idk why i feel like this sentence would sound like spongebobs voice. well it kinda makes sense since the dude who plays hank plays mr krabs...anyways) 

The goal was to arrest a man named Devin James. Supposedly, he has been keeping deviants for about 2 years. He sells them for quite a lot of cash to those who want to “fix” them. Your expression turned into sadness when you read his file. You understood what he did to these deviants. He would lock them up, abuse, torture them, and then sell them to others. But not so they can be fixed its so the buyers can torture the deviants more. 

Unfortunately, you knew why he needed to be arrested. It was not because he was doing these things to the androids. It is because he is selling deviants. In your mind however, you saw this as a rescue mission. To make sure those deviants get out, even if it kills you. 

Your group came into contact with him. Devin was now currently, in a club called “Pomegranate”. 

“Weird name for a club,” you laughed looking outside the window. It was midnight, the night sky pitch black. There was tiny drops of rain pattering against the glass.

“Maybe it is called Pomegranate because when a woman opens up her legs-”

“Shhhh Connor! There is a woman seated in the back!” You called out, your eyes widened in surprise that Connor knew those types of things. You scratched your nose and wiggled your eyebrows, “Hank, you gotta be careful with this one. Apparently he’s either been too much into fanfiction or hentai to know those types of facts.”

Hank looked into the rear view mirror, “In a minute y/n I’m gonna throw your as* outside this car into the pouring rain! Now can we talk about the dam* arrest!”

You shrugged and laid back muttering, “It was your baby Connor’s fault.”

Hank gave you a glare through the mirror. Any words that were about to come out of your mouth were quickly swallowed down. 

The car stopped and you jumped out. 

“Alright, remember what I said act. Natural. This guys good, he has ran away from the police many, many, many times. So we need to make sure that he doesn’t know that we’re cops,” Hank instructed slamming his car door.

You nodded, “Right, right, right. But let me ask you this Hank from “Finding Dory” how the hel* is Mr. Roboto here gonna oh I don’t know...blend in. When he’s a fuc*in android!”

“I also see no way out of this Lieutenant Anderson,” Connor added. 

Hank rolled his eyes at you and opened his trunk, “I was gonna get to that, y/n! Disguises.”

You peered into the trunk to see a plain tux, a bedazzled 80s suit (which of course you knew to be for Hank), and a dress. 

“Connor you wear this tux, and you y/n, wear this dress.”

Connor eyed the tux that was handed to him weirdly, and you groaned at the dress. 

“I do not think I can do this. It is not in my making to change my outfit-”

“Well, what about me! I mean it is in my making to change but like...I DON’T WANNA,” you interrupted Connor, making him blink like “what just happened.”

Hank closed the trunk and locked his car, “No if, ands, or buts. Go to the restrooms and put them on.”

You heaved a heavy sigh, “Ugh! I have my stupid period and now I have to wear this dumb dress,” you grumbled as you trudged inside the club. 

“Keep an eye out for y/n, okay Connor,” Hank said as he walked inside. 

Dua Lipa & Calvin Harris - One Kiss (i feel like this song would be played like at a disco club or something. i luv this song and always want to jam to this. this song is playing in the club)

Connor was changed into his tuxedo and Hank was in his suit. 

“I’m gonna head over there, see if I can find him. You-,” Connor and Hank looked up to see you come out of the bathroom. 

(omg i can so imagine this the chorus comes on or in this vid 1:02) You dolled yourself to look like a million bucks. Make up on and hoop earrings. “You guys ready?”

If you hadn’t known any better you would have thought they got a boner because of you. 

“Y/n,” Connor whispered, mesmerized by your look. The dress clung on to all the right places. 

“Jesus y/n, look at you. Connor close your mouth,” Hank chuckled. “Alright I’m gonna go over there see you guys in a few if you haven’t got any leads. Let me know if you spot him though, alright? Good!” Hank left. 

You walked well more like almost tripped with the 9-inch heels. “You go by the exits, Connor. And I’ll take the bar.” You pushed your boobs up (if u aint got titties dont worry u added some padding then, every boob counts👍) , “Okay ladies...do your job.” 

You swayed to the bar, trying to entice a man like Devin. Instead, Connor looked with big, wide, eyes. “I swear I haven’t even had a dic* bigger than 9-inches. How do you expect me to walk in these Hank?!?” You grumbled aloud to yourself.

“Excuse me, baby but you are sure lookin fine,” a tall man growled as he grabbed a handful of your butt. 

You rose your brow and tried not to punch him in the balls. “Do not blow you’re cover y/n,” you thought to yourself. 

“Hey, give her an old fashioned,” the man ordered the bar tender.

You nodded and smacked your lips together, “oh, okay, so you want me to be drunk as hel*. I gotcha.”

The man laughed and licked his lips, “Thats funny. This drink will make you grow chest hair, that is for sure.”

The bartender gave you the drink. You coughed, and prepared yourself to be drunk in this mission. You chugged the liquid down. The whiskey burning your throat. It all slid south and you put the glass down harshly. “Baby, know that women got hair all over.” You raised your arms up and showed your armpits. Hey, you haven’t shaved in a while. You a busy gal. (if u think that this is nasty u better get off this blog right now)

“Dam* girl, you for real though,” the guy sat down on the bar stools. Eyeing your whole body. 

“I don’t sugar coat. Anyways, whats your name?”

“Carl, Carl Hunter. You?”

“Y/n, L/n.”

“Hey, bartender can she just have a light sangria.”

You pulled your dress down in order to sit on the bar stool. In the process, you put your purse down on the floor, in between your legs. 

You then put your attention to Carl again and saw your drink was waiting for you. 

“Why thank you, Carl. I think I’m not gonna drink anymore than this so here,” you handed the bartender, “is the cash.”

Carl stepped in and forced your hand down. “Baby, I got this. My mama always taught me how to be a gentleman. I will pay for this.”

You knitted your eyebrows together, “Are you sure?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

You grinned and stroked his arm. He winked at you. As he was paying the bartender you took out a device called “pd.id”. It shows if your drink has been spiked. 

“Pric*,” you muttered. You brought out your handcuffs out and handcuffed him to the stool. 

“Hey, what the fuc* you think you doin?”

“I am saving women, pig! Trying to drug my drink huh? Thought it could get past me? You are dead wrong, and your name was Carl Hunte?” You wrote it on your hand. “Got it, thanks Carl for buying my drinks. Hope you like prison.” You poured the sangria all over his head and walked to Connor. 

“Have you found him yet y/n?” Connor was by the dance floor. 

“Nope, but I found a disgusting sex offender. So still kinda saved the day,” you sighed, placing your hands on your hips. 

You phoned Hank who was...somewhere. “Where you at Hank?”

“I’ve asked around to see if someone knows him or if they’ve sighted him. But everyone around here acts like dumbas*es. You got anything?”

You snickered, “Nada, hey I’ll make this bet. Whoever gets Devin first gets their drink paid by the loser.” Your eyebrows rose as you looked to Connor who looked at you with puppy, innocent eyes. “And Connor can have some...blood...”

Connor smiled and looked away.

You could hear Hank on the other side chuckling, “Okay y/n...you’re on. Have fun...LOSER!” Then Hank hanged up the call. 

“As*,” you laughed. 

You then saw the dance floor and people were dancing all over. It was as if a light bulb went off in your brain. “I have an idea,” you said aloud. 

You grabbed onto Connor’s hand and guided him with a sway of your hips to the dance floor. 

“Have I ever told you I love this song,” you grinned. Your feet stepping to the beat. Connor just stood like a plank of wood. Just mesmerized by your moves.

“One kiss is all it takes, fallin in love with me,” you sang, goofing off also by doing the underwater dance. “C’mon Connor join me.”

Connor’s mouth was open wide, “Oh, um, um, I do not think dancing is in my program.”

You brought your hands on Connor’s shoulders, and your body bent and stretched all over. “I’ll teach you robo boy,” you winked. 

Connor’s cheeks created a blue blush, he was a lost for words. His eyes were glued to your eyes. Drinking everything in. 

“You move like this, put your hands here,” you said while placing Connor’s hands on your hips. “Now just feel the beat, the rhythm, be one with the song.”

Connor stumbled a bit, but then he got the hang of it. “I, I think I am doing it y/n.”

“See! There you go!”

You both moved together so perfectly. Like trees swaying in the wind. Like a river. Your hands traveled all over Connor and he developed an even deeper blush. 

You then let go of him and danced by yourself. He studied your dancing for a while then he danced by himself. 

look up on youtube Bryan Dechart dancing as Connor

Finally, Connor was being...Connor. He was being himself. He was proving to the world that androids are not just things, they are living and they deserve to be free. 

“Oh my god, YES CONNOR! GO CONNOR! Woooohooooo!!!!!,” you cheered jumping up and down. 

You both danced then like animals. Shaking not caring if you both looked like two goofballs. The dance floor was empty so it was just the two of you. You did the sprinkler dance. Connor then started laughing and smiling from ear to ear. 

“Yeah, go y/n, go y/n,” Connor cheered as well. 

You heard the song was almost to the end. Your body twirled to Connor’s body until you both were almost glued together. 

“You are extremely beautiful...y/n...,” Connor whispered only so you and him could hear.

“And you Connor are important to me,” you whispered to him. You both were closing the gap between you two, your lips almost meeting. 

“Guys, I found Devin,” Hank yelled to you both as he appeared before you two. “Oh, um, am I disturbing something?”

“You found him,” you questioned as Hank ran ahead. You broke contact with Connor and gave him a guilty face. You stepped off the dance floor and brought your gun out of your thigh holster, following Hank, with Connor behind you. 

You sprinted to the commotion of people now screaming since smart pants Devin tried to shoot you guys. You tried to see him over the sea of people. 

“I spot him,” you shouted, not caring of the protests of Hank and Connor. “Don’t worry guys I got this!”

 You ran after Devin, stumbling a few times from the dumb heels. You look down, “Dam* heels!” While going after this man, you take the heels off and throw them at him (kinda like Nakia from Black Panther). He screams in pain but doesn’t stop. He jumps over boxes of booze from the club and you do the same. You chase him out of the club, going in the street. 

“GET DOWN NOW,” you scream at him. “If you do not stop I will shoot!”

The man kept going until you shook your head, breathed hard a couple of times, you sped, fast after him. It was if you were possessed by Usain Bolt. You caught up to him, your dress ripped by your legs. You pounced on Devin, putting his arms behind his back in a death grip. “PUT THE GUN DOWN, NOW!”

Devin, breathing harshly, threw the gun away from you both. “Owww you’re hurting me,” he whined. 

“Good,” you sassed back, picking him up harshly. More in the light you can see where the end of your heel hit the side of his head. You tried not to laugh, muffling your giggles. 

You picked up the gun and walked back to Hank and Connor who were not far from you. 

“That was very impressive,” Connor smirked while winking like you did. 

“...am I missing something here,” Hank eyed both of you. 

You gave a lopsided grin, “Oh Hank, if only you knew...No, you’re missing your Devin. Here’s his gun and you owe me a drink...loser” You threw the gun to Hank and chuckled. 

As Hank took a hold of Devin you went to his level to speak to him. “So Devin, where you hidin these deviants?”

“I won’t tell...cun*,” he hissed. You punched his face, your ring making a mark on his nose it also looking a little crooked, and blood coming out. Heh, marked twice by you. 

“Y/n, can you please be a little more fuc*in professional, right Connor?” Hank asked Connor.

Connor shrugged, “I think that punch was needed.”

“Okay, I am definitely missing something,” Hank shouted. 

You gripped Devin’s face, “You. Don’t. Talk. To. Women. Like. That. Understand? Now, again, where are the deviants?”

“In my warehouse, like 5 blocks from here.”

“Thank you,” you said professionally. You walked barefoot to the car, and waited for the boys.

“I have gotten you these,” Connor handed you a pair of flip flops. “I know it is not much, but I much prefer you walking in them then on the wet ground.”

You smiled and thanked him. Hank was driving to the warehouse that Devin talked about. 

“I think this is it,” you called, looking out your window to see a rusty metal warehouse. The scene you walked on upon looked like it was taken from a 80s horror film. The lightning striking like a whip in the dark clouds. You brought your flashlight out. “Whelp boys, lets see what we find in here.” 

You all walked inside. You were thankful you were out of the pouring rain, but now you were stuck in the cold metal warehouse. Shivering like a pair of rattled bones, you tried to cover your bare arms by hugging yourself. 

“Here y/n, take this. I do not want you to get a cold,” Connor gently placed his tux jacket on your shoulder, leaving him in a tight white shirt with a black bow tie.

“Thanks...Connor,” you smiled, cuddling yourself in the jacket. 

“I think we should all spread out. Just remember though, we’re dealing with deviants...be careful, all of you,” Hank said making his way to the right. Connor chose the left, while you, well didn’t choose but were stuck with the middle. 

You tiptoed silently, trying not to make any noise. It was dark, and dusty. It was extremely hard for you not to erupt into a coughing fit. Suddenly, you heard a bang coming from the side of you. You jumped almost like a cat. You stood there, trying to do breathing exercises, and to try to steady your heart. Even though lets be real, your heart was not steady even to begin with this mission. Everything was thrown, antique chairs, a type writer, and pieces of a car hung from the ceiling. The dust particles traveled across the light from your flashlight. The dirt was all muddy since there were tiny holes in the roof. It smelled disgusting, like a farm. 

“How could anyone live like this,” you spoke aloud, covering your nose with Connor’s jacket. 

“Please, save us,” you heard from in front of you. You panicked and turned every which way, trying to find the source of that voice. 

“We beg you save us. Let us be free.”

“Get us out of here.”

“We want to be free.”

“Is that our savior, Marcus?”

“Please, save us.”

“Please!”

Your flashlight then came upon the cells and cells of deviants. Some were all white having taking off their skin. Some were broken, missing limbs, missing an eye. Some were still freshly made new, just with a few tiny scratches. But they all had one thing in common. They were begging. Begging you to set them free. They were tired of living like this. Your heart saddened for them, why couldn’t androids be free? Why were they abused and slaughtered like this? It was not right. But what if you did let them all out? Would you loose the trust of Hank, or even worse Connor? Would you loose your job letting these deviants out secretly? There were only two choices, 

were you going to leave the deviants?

or...were you going to let them out?

You had to decide...

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 7

when will one of these chapters start with ‘wow murphy’s gonna love this and rly enjoy themself’ WHEN IT IS. I HAVE TO KNOW.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay i am Recognising this chapter so we’re not quite yet in untouched, completely Feral territory which is. nice. thats nice. i like it when i know what im working w/ but who the kell hnows.

Something nagged at her. A forgotten thing. She thought hard, but even so, it took a long moment for her to remember.

me when i go to my room to fetch my dishes for the washing machine but i get sidetracked by my dog being cute and then i forget and go back downstairs and remember the dishes and then i come back up but my dog is still there and i forget again-

i’m just. rly enjoying this glynda. I SAID IT BEFORE BUT IM RLY THRIVING FOR THIS IDIOT WITH ONE BRAINCELL. THE BRAINCELL IS CINDER.

Glynda’s hunting instincts were primed, the only part of her that worked with absolute clarity, even now.

this is why she hasn’t noticed cinder’s flirting, the fool, the blithering idiot,

In the split second before she faded from consciousness, she smelled ash, the foreign Aura within her flaring until she could taste it: burning flesh and steady decay. Then it disappeared, fizzling out.

hm. is it a callout to say this is. romantic. this is kinda romantic. hey is this? gay? i think its gay. im gonna settle on it.

its gay.

When she awoke the next morning, it was like pulling herself from some great void,

H👈A😎H👈

for some reason THAT was the fingergun that made me spill juice all over my keyboard i see how it is

Then she remembered that at Beacon, her blood usually stayed inside her body.

im thriving for this weird observation. you know when you wake up somewhere new like a hotel or smthng and for a moment yr like ‘where am i’ and u figure it out thru like. normal fucking means. like oh thats not my duvet oh thats not my ceiling oh thats not where my window is-

and then glynda has to judge her location by how much blood of hers is spilled in it. this bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE GOT ONE BRAINCELL AND OFFAL HUNT IS THE THESIS TO PROVE IT-

It was the room she’d all but dissembled in after getting her ass kicked and then saved by Cinder Fall.

sorry im going HOG WILD on quotes but these new lines r SO GOOD and im LIVING for them....................... like until now we’ve had glynda goodwitch, terrifying unstoppable woman and occasional dipshit. now shes all dipshit. just 100% pure dipshit. spread her on a field and you couldnt tell her from the manure. a complete buffoon.

that said its nice to see glynda using her Brainmess for once... i mean she still wont be able to put an otherwise fuck-ton of clues together still because that requires, the ability to multitask, which is surely does not have, but finally she’s taking five fuckin minutes to let herself go ‘well THATS weird’.

There had only been a stirring of life along those red-vein tattoos, swirling just along the cut of Cinder���s dress.

im enjoying the new ‘sexey tattoos’ slant we’re seein in this remaster it was a real shame they didnt get primetime attention last time.

also glynda Why Ya Lookin,

Hello,

she’d be a heretic to the Law of Semblances twice-over,

I May Not Know My Semblances, But I Know A Bitch When I See One!

For the first time in years, Glynda wanted to set everything aside and rest.

we stan a sleepy bitch................ ugh im so glad she’s finally realising she needs 2 give herself some mfing slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because as much as im enjoying the Dragfest she rly needs to. chill.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, a towel around her waist and her dirty clothes balled in her hands,

look i didnt make this blog to lie that my first reaction to this was tilting my head and going ‘tiddy out? tiddy? is the tiddy out? tiddy?’

look women look hotter doing all the things guys do and this is fact i wont sit down and i Wont Shut Up

No more rushing ahead and getting herself torn up for nothing.

H👈A😎H👈!

thats a Good One, Glynda,

Winter Schnee had the pale white hair of her bloodline, and the sharp features of the famously reclusive Willow Schnee.

YES BITCH WE ARE IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POP THOSE MFING BOTTLES

i have been WAITING. FOR WEEKS. 7 FUCKING WEEKS I HAVE SAT HERE AND WAITED AND IT FINALLY PAID OFF OH MY GOD MY BITCH IS IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Ozpin had said, she was twice the age of the younger Schnee daughter, and her blue eyes held all the acuity that age had brought her.

i made a Sound at this i CAN SEE WHAT YOU DID. I SEE IT. I SEE IT,

A single photo hung on the wall next to a placard detailing some kind of award. Glynda pushed her glasses up on her nose to get a better look. Though it had the appearance of a family photo, only the women of the Schnee family were present, Willow and Weiss flanking a newly ranked Winter.

why am i being targeted directly anyway

safdjhgfsdajgh WINTER,....... im still. im Love w/ this main bitch finally... Finally.... i love winter in offal hunt so fuckign much and im so glad she’s here and that we’re getting more details because AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love her!!!!!!!!!

also i cant.... say anything because spoilers..... but also............. NNNNNNN this convo has just. so much behind it. SO MUCH CONTEXT. its Killing Me,

A strange expression crossed Winter’s expression. It looked like how bruises felt.

im losing my fucking mind rn diesel and kc are going right to hell and they know it but do they care???????????? no. they already are the devil,

okay i went silent for ages and read ahead because i screamed in discord for like ten minutes and it looked like this

so YEAH theres that, i guess,

Instead, it only filled her with deep unease. Glynda didn't know what Cinder’s game was, but it was becoming clear that it did not align with her own. And the more she thought about it, the less she understood. The less she understood, the more wary she became.

cinder: i wanted to tell this girl i liked her so i wrote her a note that said get out of my desert,

im rly thrivin in this chap i already said it but we’re rly jumping into the meat n bones of the Plot now and its a Good Plot so im excited!!!!!!!!!

“Yes, I think you’ll like her!”

“she’s a lesbian, like you, so maybe her distinguished energy will chill your dysfunctional energies out-”

Glynda pressed her lips; she needed a delicate hand here, needed to carefully choose a response which would divert Ozpin away from the topic. “No reason.”

YES MY FAV LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is Big Me and literally this is MAYBE the best and also funniest line in this entire shitshow remembers the Pasta Bit and /sweats

i also rly enjoy glynda n ozs friendship... i mean im out here remembering the glynda/ozpin/cinder fic so i was already sold on all their interactions but its rly good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLYNDAS BEST FRIEND MAY BE 200 YEARS OLD BUT GOD DAMN IT WHEN WILL YR BFF EVER BE THERE FOR U LIKE THAT,

theres a Bit here im not gonna go into but. honestly once u kno how offal hunt basically ends? Its Sad and Im Sad. i hate how knowing this whole thing just inflects on everything else and everything glynda wants and honestly this whole fic sucks. why am i reading this AGAIN.

“I have faith in you, Glynda. But there are terrible things that can be done to a person even without killing them.”

👈😢👈

we’ve popped the first sad fingerguns but also What The Literal Fuck, Oz,

“Come and catch me, then.”  

im LAUGHING this is much better than the first version because this is SUCH a cinder-brand of shit to say dsfjhgfds she’s SUCH A SHIT-STIRRER but i love her,

“She’s just sent me something. My Scroll is working fine, but I think it’s safe to assume she knows what we’re discussing.”

“What did she send you?”

“An invitation.”

oh finally glynda works out the whole CCT business JHGDSFSDF i wonder if cinder knew shed figure it out or saw her msgs to oz and went ‘ah shit well’

BUT YEAH..... DATE! DATE! DATE! HOT DATE WITH CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am. VERY excited as many of u will remember i made a prime shitpost abt That Chap back in the day and ill have 2 REDRAW IT!!!!!!!!! POPPIN BOTTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway this chapter sucked and was also very good in equal measure. as it is Wont,

[let-the-music-move-you]

get to know me!!!

1. Name - sylvia 2. Where are you from? - louisville ky (if you live anywhere near hmu cus im lookin for friends!) 3. How old are you? - 15 4. Do you have any siblings? - i have 3 siblings, two sisters and one brother 5. Pets? - i have 3 dogs! two beagles and one jack russell! 6. Describe yourself - not sure how to do so in a couple sentences! im a chaotic good sensitive but punkass goth bitch 7. What do you do for fun? - make lyric edits! i also am just really into photo editing and graphic design, i also love writing (poetry, songs, etc) and making music! 8. Do you have a job? What do you do? - im a musician, its not really technically a "job" yet but i'm in a band with my sister and im planning on that being my career! 9. What’s your favorite memory? - being eleven and sitting with my sister on her bed as the sun was setting blaring the first the 1975 album in springtime 10. One thing about yourself you wish you could change - how many grudges i hold! i'm kind of an insensitive asshole sometimes but also im too sensitive like all the time ?? i dont know if that answers this lmao  11. What do you love about yourself? - how i stand up for myself and do what makes me happy despite judgement from others 12. Who inspires you? - a lot of people, a lot of my favorite artists really inspire me as well as certain friends and my sister 13. Do you collect anything? - i have a journal full of little things i find random places like old reciepts and notes and stuff as well as little personal but significant things all taped in there lmao. i also have a weird habit of keeping cool bottles so i guess thats become a collection! 14. Do you have any fears? - im terrified of bees and abandonment! lmao 15. Favorite band? - coldplay all the way 16. What music are you currently listening to? - as im writing this im listening to florence and the machine but as far as the past month my playlists have been all over the place! a mix of songs i used to listen to a lot and new ones i keep finding and new releases from my favorite artists! 17. Do you have a favorite song? - lost it to trying by son lux for the win! 18. Do you have a favorite movie? - electrick children, its the best fucking movie in the world i love it with all of my dead heart 19. What’s your favorite color? - black cus im an edgy hoe 20. Do you have a favorite book? - the giver, a fucking classic 21. What’s your favorite school subject? - art or social studies 22. Least favorite school subject? - mATH 23. What’s your favorite Holiday? - halloween biiitcchh 24. What makes you happy? - music, sunny days, storms at night, thrift stores, and arizona iced tea!!!! 25. Do you have a favorite scent? - theres a few soaps and things that bring back really good memories that i absolutely love, but i think my favorite scent ever is Dragons Blood incense! absolutely amazing 26. Do you have a favorite TV show? - law and order: special victims unit ayyee 27. What do you look for in a person? - someone whos honest and loyal and has good intentions! 28. Are you currently in school? - not exactly, i'm "homeschooling" aka not doing shit and staying home all day 29. What is your goal in life? - to be happy and live out my dreams 30. Ever been to a concert? - ive been to a few actually! ive been to taylor swift, coldplay, melanie martinez, the neighbourhood, twenty one pilots, and fitz and the tantrums! 31. What was the last book you read? - im currently rereading divergent, but before that i was reading Mosquitoland! 32. What is your favorite season? - spring for sure 33. Do you prefer it to be hot or cold? - weather wise, hot. body temperature, cold 34. Do you prefer the sun, the rain, or snow? the sun all the way 35. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? - definitely california 36. Do you prefer day or night? - nighttime!!!!! 37. Are you an introvert or extrovert? - extrovert with social anxiety haha 38. What is something not many people know about you? - i used to write full length books and plays growing up! and my name isnt sylvia lmao 39. If you could meet one person, alive or dead, who would it be? - id have to say Chris Martin because hes like my favorite person in the world but theres also a ton of dead people id love to have a good chat with  40. Would you rather look into your future, or fix something from your past? - probably look into my future, if my past was any different i wouldnt be who i am today! 41. If you could sit down with anyone in the world, and talk to them for an hour, who would you like to speak with? - chris martin all the way 42. What was the first CD you ever purchased with your own money? - mylo xyloto by coldplay and torches by foster the people 43. If you own any Vinyls, which was your first? - born to die by lana del rey 44. How many CDs do you own? - oooooo i own a lot, probably 20+ 45. Do you have any talents? - i guess writing and producing music and editing! im also great at hoola hooping come @ me 46. Cats or Dogs? - dogs forever but cats are awesome too 47. What was the last thing that made you happy? - probably this new actor i found and a new tv show ive been watching! also the beatiful weather thats been going on lately and new songs im finding! 

48. How would you describe your style? - 80s kid meets goth witch meets biker meets 70s punk

sorry this was so much i hope u guys got to know me a little bit better ! if u all have any other questions for me pls inbox me! id love to answer them

[nivks]

gryles 2017 for vee @ladsfm

okay ah vee wanted this UPDATED!!! to add the start of the year too so! edited again!

heres a basic recap i guess but uhhh

harry nd nick literally spent xmas together aGAIN and they mention it casually as fUCK 

they started off their year domestic and shit how fucking adorable #netflixnchillncurry

okay so we didnt even KNOw this happened until they talked bout it in the sott premiere but! they literally spent a whole goddamn day together just dedicated to listening to ?? sott?? hs1?? i feel like they listened to the whole fucking album but im also pretty sure nick was like ‘no i didnt hear the album before!! this is all new!!’ when harry went on for the hs1 premiere but whatever nicks a fuckin liar we all kno it

im dying it was one album song like IT TAKES LESS THAN AN HOUR and they met up in the MORNING and didnt listen till afterNOON whatthe FUCK they literally spent all DAY together cos they were so NERVOUS what fools

then we have: ladzfm 2.0 aka sott premiere aka: “I feel lucky to be playing my first song with one of my best friends.” aka our collective death

we got a lot of good shit in this interview im actualy crying rereading it all what the fuck HMM SO WE GOT #fontchat, nick talking about trying to cook a roast for harry with remi IN LA, nick admitting that harry was one of 4 people nick told about getting breakfast (two being his parents FUCK), #ronniewoodchat??? nicks life is so weird, OH POST BRITS CHAT FUCK!, confirmed that nick and anne text on the reg, dog collar chat #legendsonly, #tbt to when they saw rita at G-A-Y , other cute shit

THANKS FOR HAVING ME. LOVE YOU. H.

also this like idk how to describe it but nick and harry are BOTH the sun for eachother and they literlly light each other up

nick being adorable about it on insta too

okay now its the original post but i fixed those links you told me were wrong

okay i feel like u know that nick flew to america to take his mum on a holiday then like also watch harry debut on snl but i feel like revisiting so

there was ANNE that fucked us up to begin with

then when nick turned up at the snl studios??

like we were waiting for it but we never fucking expected it to actually happen what the fuck

nick looked so good when he was there fuck me

harry smiling and waving at his lil home party of 2

him and eileen going to the afterparty and chillin with jimmy whatshisface, eileen partying till the am?

uhh hardly important but idk

nick looks so fkin good even hungover as fuck after partying all night and celebrating (marrying) harry

MOVING ON FROM THEIR AMERICAN MARRIAGE

the tweet got deleted ugh but nick was spotted at harrys graham norton performance! love a supportive husband!

harry came on the show for an hour for his album release party and? it was LIVE

started with nick complimenting harry on his outfit made outta tea towels

harry saves the audios that nick sends him when harry was sharing album clips and nick sung his own versions #confirmed

omg notebook chat was in this interview ugh

<3

jonna just posted this like last week and im still crying

MOVING ON FROM LADZFM TO: MALLORCA

okay first off nick looks fit as fuck in mallorca so

nick went to both the hens party and the stag do what a fuckin loser

hun! oh HUN

okay i think we got like ppl rumouring that harry was in mallorca but EMILY CAME THRU for us and posted this

the girls lookd so lovely at the wedding tho ahhh

this is what harry married i love Him

nick and harry musta been sharin a room cos nick was wearin his clothes aww

so basically nick blasted the hell outta wild thoughts on this holiday and put green hearts on fuckin everything so i did this mess

okay mallorcas over rip back to ldn life

nick got emo again idk

whatever they went out for LUNCH 

what the fuck how domestic

OH A GOOD DAY HERE

nick went to see dunkirk by himself cos he couldnt make the premiere etc etc 

completely by himself im dyin

then we were all like HEY I HOPE HE STILL MAKES THE PREMIERE cos liek we didnt know he was busy so when he rocked up to host this car gig or whatever we were all like hmm proud of u host grimshaw but also hun :/

and also the bleach makeup launch was on that night so like a lot of harrys close ldn crew pals missed the ldn premiere too and we were all like awww poor harry

BUT THEN

both HARRY and NICK rocked up at the bleach party!

they both looked fit as everyloving FUCK this night too

N I C E

fucked up we never got an actual HQ pic of nick and harry together but you can see nicks arm in this on the right omg

im still gellz

OKAY MOVING ONTO HARRY COMING ONTO THE SHOW FOR LADZFM 4.0 to talk about DUNKIRK

unfortch it was prerecorded but like still

nick looked amazing (and harry took those pics and u cant tell me otherwise)

uhh some good quotes one two three four five 

they look lovely im stressed

(nick in glasses lookin like a doctor)

OKAY MOVING ON TO NICKS BDAY

harry was MIA? for nicks actual bday SO INSTEAD they celebrated together (with harry lambert) a couple day early!!

nice lil lunch <3

SHOPPING WITH BAE

nick looks rly fit

i cant beleive harry brought him the goddamn shoes

i cant belvie how much nick loves them

like full on 100% loves them

(harry has rly similar shoes too goddamn matchy matchy kids)

fast forward to later augugst where

NICK AND HARRY GONNA DO A BBC SPECIAL TOGETHER

aka Harry Styles at the BBC

then like FIVE DAYS AFTER IT WAS ANNOUNCED nick andharry were already up north filming one two three

NICK N HARRY LOOKED ADORBALE TOGEHTER

nick tweeted about being off air for 3 days and jeff liked it :)

in the actual recording harry wears his usual florals  yeh nick actually fucking posted that to his own instagram story what thte fuck i love 2017

nick? murder me?

ahhh

ALSO ANNE AND EILEEN SAT TOGETHER IN THE AUDIENCE HOW FUJCING SWEET WTF

and THATS basically it for the past couple of months? there was this mention the other day but apart from that!

EDIT: I FUCKING FORGOT TO ADD THAT HARRY COVERED WILD THOUGHTS IN THE BBC RADIO ONE LIVE LOUNGE which: what the Fuck

anyway I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU IM SORRY THIS IS A MESS HOPE UR DOIN OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[marchingfluterino]

championships and friday game things!!

friday game:

before practice me matt and annabeth were in a practice room and miguel walks past and looks in and we all look back at him

and then he comes back and pokes his head in and says, “you guys want some sauce?”

and he comes in and takes his hot sauce and some break out of hi pockets and starts like, drug dealing it to matt and annabeth bc he’d gotten it banned

and he tells me to get in front of the door

then later he takes us into the practice room he was in and. he had a whole computer in there. like with a tower and everything

it was wild

then noah was there!!!!!! it was lit im glad noahs back

hes been in the hospital since bandcamp and obviously hes had his treatment but he still needs to take it easy

hes pit tho so thats good

it was my section leader + her twin sister the trombone section leader’s birthday

and also daryl (ben kukunas) the band fish’s birthday

i love DBK hes so cool

i didnt even know he existed until friday tho

then at the game we got there and u could hear piccolos (6, i counted)

and i was like !!!!!!! :OOOOO!!!!! i wanna do that

and max, resident tubist for the cavaliers, was like “no theyre so screechy”

and we got into an argument over whats better lmao

then at halftime after we went the (HUGE) other band got cheered for REALLY loud by their student section

like wtf i want that

and turns out they were really exciting

like bad, but exciting

lots of dancing and spinning and running and screaming

it was demoralizing tbh

they didnt have pit but they had drumline + marching marimbas

my mom marched that in 10th grade

after halftime noah did the band dance and it was SO FUCKIN LIT!!!!!!

he made us do some classic band dance stuff that we did w the drum majors while he was gone but we also did a bunch of other stuff like basically the bird

at one point he actually LAID DOWN ON THE FLOOR it was SO FUCKIN LIT

then we sang happy birth to ellie and vicky and dbk

hannah’s mellophone got knocked over and it had a flat dent it in and i said to her, “hannah, i think ur lookin a lil flat”

pat got one of those bags of those snack size bags of chips and started like handing them out to staff

u could tell he was tryin to be secretive about it but it wasnt working

he then zipped the big bag into his jacket

at one point i actually yelled “HEY PAT WHATS IN YOUR SHIRT”

and he couldnt tell it was me but he like did a glare

then later i went up with the saxes bc theyre always p lit

i had a stand off with josh where we’d like play notes at each other and like do weird poses

like dogs when theyre playin

then at one point my instrument broke AGAIN

screaming into our instruments

on the us ride back this one car NYOOOOOOMED past us really FUCKIN loud

then a second car did the same thing

it was wild

saturday championships:

LAST PRACTICE.......... EVER. RIP

not actually tho, only for the seniors

actually wait, it was the last REGULARLY SCHEDULED practice OF THE SEASON for the seniors

i gave daryl the bingo sheets

i noticed ben was like dci-style running across the field with bent legs to get to the set where we’re all on / posing around the boxes

he’s really tall and yet he was far enough away

it looked really comical

but like, i have to backwards march sorta like that to get to some of my sets in the closer as well so

at the competition there was this other band next to our bus and

clarissa: stop being so judgmental caitlin (a colorguard instructor): their guard uniforms are ugly though

apparently roman asked max to zip him up and he ACTUALLY DID

after getting our uniforms on and stuff we passed this other band that was going to the stadium and me and this one kid who had a piccolo like pointed to our instruments and grinned like “SAME HAT!!!”

there was this other band warming up that literally fuckin did hallelujah and dont stop believin. it was wild

the band before us did bohemian rhapsody and, according to my mom, their theme was rhapsodies and before that they’d done rhapsody in blue.

yes. by george gershwin. what the fuck

max came down our two line giving everyone fistbumps and i was at the back and when he fistbumped me i said “piccolos are better than tubas” lmao

while we were marching on some people in the stands were screaming like “DARYL!!!” and “EVAN HATTRICK” (but with mr hee hees real last name)

like i was STRUGGLING not to laugh it was so Fucking funny

i only made one mistake this time!!

when we went back to our trailer + buses to take off our uniforms + get our windsuits and money i told max my drum corps joke

me: hey max do ya wanna hear a drum corps joke max: no me: yeah ya do! whaddaya call someone who only starts liking a drum corps when they start winning? max: a... blue devil me: a BANDWAGONER

i got two videos during this and one was of glenna and quinn but the other one was. god

this is an Actual screenshot of it and honestly it is Such a Masterpiece. Matt’s FUCKING dab. max’s look of disappointment. pat’s fucking face like he’s like shading someone or something. paul’s face like he’s just given up on literally everything.

like. literally the video was just max leaning into the frame from behind matt while i’m yelling “WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR DOTBOOK YOU LOSER” and then matt reverse whipping as he says “i thought i had my phone and now” and then max turns around again RIGHT AS matt says “i wanna die” and dabs

these brass guys tried to give multiple staff members a white paper bag. what was in the bag, you may be wondering?

one (1) hot dog, free of bun, and a couple fries.

mr beaver, opening the bag: “this is disgusting”

they actually had lost the bun and found it like twenty minutes later

this one 4a band did a show called “phobias: what are you afraid of” and it was REALLY COOL

the phases of the show were spiders / snakes / water / being alone / loud noises / fire and it was VERY good

they had spiderwebs on the pit’s instruments and spiderweb props that were like ropes with a guard member in the center and a marcher at each end, and the color guard also had stuffed snake props and blue and red flags for water and fire respectively. they also did sabrework and had these cool dark / light gray flags

they also had a trumpet soloist for snakes and a trombone soloist as well as an INCREDIBLE flute soloist for water. fuck

for loud noises they had some normal volume stuff and then all of a sudden FUCking THIRTY-SEVEN FS

they had two big props that were the same at the front of each side of the field that said the name of their show in big white letters, and in small white a bunch of fears and in middling size in red the phases. i sat right behind max and he was being judgy about that and salting about how that made the show less exciting or whatever lmao

then a 3a band (same class as us) did a beethoven show with a tiny bit of moonlight sonata in the beginning and then beethoven’s fifth, then fur elise and finally ode to joy

it was so fucking good. what business do they have marching to beethoven and making it that fucking good

i asked max and he said that him leaning into the frame during the video was on purpose lmao

we were on the same bus so beka gave me her hanger and windsuit pants to take back there

BUT

i had to take them onto the field

michael took the pants and put them in his pocket after folding them really compactly

i had the hanger in my jacket the whole time

(clarissa found out about the flute-in-my-sleeve scenario and got mad about it)

anyway i kept opening my jacket and going “hey u want a hanger”

even when we got to mingle with other bands

we also talked to someone from the band with the hella amazing bari sax soloist / drum major and she said that everyone in the band is attracted to him

also guess who we told about that guy being called sax daddy

lmao

there was a fucking Long conga line

also on the way back to the buses, on the Road Of High Fives, this one kid from another band yelled “tell miguel to go to hell for the hot sauce” I CANT BELIEVE THIS. HE WAS DRUG DEALING HIS HOT SAUCE TO OTHER BANDS FUCK

also ppl were taunting paul (a dentist) about dentistry on the way back. “i only floss at dentist appointments!” someone yelled from the back of the bus. paul puts his head in his hands in despair

percussion started doing the cadence on the seats

we started chanting “DARYL! DARYL! DARYL!” when we got to the school and mr hee hee said “why are we chanting for a fish” OH MY GOD

and. that’s it i guess.

end of the season

we’ve still got at least two more games to go to, since we made it into playoffs, and the disney trip, and november practices, but. that’s it for competitions and full runs for this year.