#that's why we can't have nice things because the show sucks ass

[cary-elwes]

if the Art of More would be better it would have SO many thirsty fanfics for Arthur (and Graham) but.....

[bandgie]

On Your Knees Pt.2

ONE | TWO

synopsis: They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but this one seems eager for a treat.

warnings! MDNI 18+, fem!reader, incel!seungmin, pussy eating/fingering, PIV (raw), edging (m!), blue balls, multiple orgasms (f!), dom reader (kinda), banter, prolly more that I missed lol

3.1k words

Seungmin doesn't think there'll be any way for him to live how he has been. Even the friends he spends time with hardly compare to the time he spends on the bathroom floor eating you out. Embarrassingly enough, it's all he can think about. Even as the podcast he's watching blares through his headphones, he can barely make out what they're saying.

Something about how it's submissive for a man to eat pussy. How demeaning the act is for a man to do. Yet, Seungmin questions the validity of what these so-called 'alpha' men are saying. Is it truly so terrible to have the taste of a cunt on your lips? To suck and lick on such a delicious flower?

He shuts his computer off, ripping the headphones by the wire to hone in on his conclusions. 

Okay so maybe this is normal. Seungmin's a big boy; it makes sense that he would eat pussy sooner or later. And if he liked it, that's also fine. He's a man, after all, it makes more sense to like giving girls head than to hate it.

Just as long as he doesn't try to reach out to you. Now that would be submissive of him. And if there's anything Seungmin is dead set on, it's that he is not submissive. 

But days after not seeing you with Han, days of not getting a taste of the pussy that has him whipped has him doing things he's sworn not to do. He found your number, he texted you, and he's going over your house on your conditions.

He's so fucked. 

It's too late to turn back by the time he's at your front door. Seungmin only waits a few seconds before the door swings open. He's seen you about a dozen times, but it's the first time he's felt his heart swoop at the sight of you. He reasons it's just because you're in a t-shirt.

"Oh wow," you take a step back and look at him up and down, somewhat in disbelief. "I can't believe you actually came."

Seungmin can't find it in himself to believe he came here on his own violation either. "Whatever," he shivers from the cold, night air. "Are you gonna let me in or what?" 

You take a step aside to make room, "Since you asked so nicely."

Seungmin takes awkward steps into your apartment, noting the cozy setup and simple plants littered in your living space. His fingertips run on the soft material of the couch, pulling on the loose threads automatically.

You walk past him, taking a seat on your couch and reaching for the remote. "I was just about to put something on," you turn and look up at him. "Come on."

Tentatively, Seungmin walks around the sofa to you. Just before he takes his seat, you click your tongue. "Nope. On the floor." You point to the space between your legs. Seungmin hands close and open, unsure what to make of the situation. You sigh and loll your head to the side, looking at him unamused. "You gonna sit down or what?"

Seungmin glowers at you, "I am. You don't need to be such as ass about it." He grumbles a little more before bending down and crossing his legs to face the TV. "Nope, wrong way," you twirl your finger in a circular motion to indicate him to face you instead. 

He looks at you confused, "But you said we were gonna put something on." You shake your head at him, "No. I said I'm gonna put something on. I never said anything about you." A hint of red begins to show on Seungmin's face, but before he has the chance to most likely curse you, you spread your legs. 

You can practically see the words die in Seungmin's throat at the sight of your bare cunt. He acts before he can think, twisting his body fully and gripping the underside of your thighs to spread you further. It's better than he remembers.

"This is why you came, right?" You look down at him. "Missed the taste of this pussy?"

Seungmin licks his lips, nodding mindlessly. Something about taste and pussy, but he understood nonetheless. His tongue pokes out, but you grip his hair and yank him upwards. Seungmin whines, like an animal tore away from his meal, but you ignore it. "You're just here to make me feel good, got it? You don't get to cum, only I do. Do you understand?"

You have to shake his head to force an answer out of him. "Yes yes yes." He shifts anxiously in your hold. "Only you. I'll make you feel good."

Despite his desperation, you smile. "Good boy. Go ahead."

The moment your grip loosens, Seungmin latches onto your core. It's soft, it's warm, it's good. He moans into your cunt, inhaling through his nose and he dips his tongue between your folds. It's only been days since he's tasted you, but it feels far too long. How could he go a single minute without tasting you? Getting that sticky arousal on his lips so the taste could mingle in his mouth the entire day? Seungmin puckers his lips and kisses your cunt, a thank you for introducing him to a whole new world. 

Your fingers mindlessly click on the buttons of the remote as you try and find a show. You keep switching back and forth between options, clicking random buttons until you accidentally set the caption to a different language. One of your hands pet the top of Seungmin's head, pushing back his hair and twirling it in your fingers. 

His tongue slides down until it catches your entrance, barely prodding it until he slides it back up to your clit. He swirls your bud in his mouth, sucking and licking until your hips buck. "Shit," you breathe. "You really missed my pussy, huh?"

Seungmin opens his eyes to look up at you. He turns his head sideways to place your clit in his mouth, flicking your clit rapidly. That's as much of an answer as you're getting, but it does the job. He lifts his head back up and sucks harshly, pulling on your sensitive flesh before releasing it. You shiver and moan, feeling your arousal drip onto the couch that you'll make him clean up later. 

"Fuck yes," your grip tighten on his hair. "Finger me." Seungmin leans back and uses his hands to rub your pussy. His fingers rub and swirl around your core until they're drenched. He trails them down until they catch your entrance, pushing his middle and ring finger in. 

You throw the remote on the couch and grip the cushions. The stretch is slight, but his fingers are long. They reach much deeper than you could ever do yourself, and you let out a loud moan when they finally settle all the way inside. Seungmin pumps you slowly, getting used to how your walls pulse and clench around him. He watches as your cunt swallows his fingers. His cock throbs in his pants. 

"Shiiit," you throw your head back onto the headrest. "I'll cum if you keep doing that."

That's all he's ever wanted. Seungmin places his mouth back onto your clit where his tongue flattens against your cunt. He moves his head up and down while thrusting his fingers in and out. Both of your hands are tugging on his hair, pulling and pushing him away. 

"Already?" He pulls away for a moment to speak. "Didn't think you'd be this easy, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised." A devilish smile appears on his lips as you lift your head to look at him. You wish you could come up with a snide remark, but your head starting to feel fuzzy and all you can focus on is how close you are. 

You push his head back to your pussy and wrap your legs around his body, locking him in. "I'll make you regret saying that."

Seungmin laughs into your cunt, happy that he succeeded in pissing you off. Now that he's pushed against you, it's a little difficult to finger you as rapidly, but you rather like the shallow thrusts. It gives you more to clench down on and ride while he licks your clit. You buck your hips and ride his face inelegantly. The first hints of your orgasm build in your stomach, making your body feel unbelievably warm as your hips stutter. 

"Fuck," you rasp. "Imma cum." You blink a few times and lazily smile at him, "Did you miss the taste of that too?"

As an answer, Seungmin buries himself so deep into you that his nose is pressed against your clit. The extra texture is enough to send you over the edge, creaming on his fingers and twitching in his mouth. He happily gulps down your arousal, slipping his fingers out to replace them with his tongue instead. 

You just taste so good. Seungmin is delightfully reminded of how it felt to swallow you for the first time, how the taste settled on his tastebuds. His tongue scoops out the white cream your pussy flooded out and spreads it on your clit before licking it back up again. 

He hums, shoving his cum-stained fingers when you finally release him from your hold. 

Seungmin wants it again. His hands splay over your thighs to spread them. After all, it's you who gets to cum. It's only fair he makes sure you can as much as possible. But before his tongue has the chance to find its rightful place in your pussy, you snap your legs shut.

He looks up at you like a wounded dog, "Hey! Open them back up!"

Seungmin isn't sure what he's expecting to see, but it definitely isn't how you look right now. Flushed with a heaving chest, eyes that are wide and full of arousal, and a cheeky smile on your bitten lips. He's reminded of how pretty you actually are. 

"Get up," you snap him out of his thoughts. "Take off your pants too."

He doesn't need to be told twice. Seungmin rises from his aching knees and fumbles with his belt. He unties it quickly before undoing the top of his pants, shoving them down along with his boxers. You gasp, eyes locking with his cock for the first time. 

"Holy shit," you slap a hand over your mouth. He's hard. His cock is red at the tip, leaking with so much precum you think he's had to stain his underwear. You can almost see it twitching from lack of attention, begging to be touched. 

Seungmin smiles, grabbing the base and squeezing it. "You like it, huh?" It's not easy to take your gaze off his length to look into his eyes instead. The sight of him has you aching to be filled. Your pussy clenches around nothing, but you keep your nose upturned, "It's alright."

He scoffs, but the smile never fades. You widen your legs and welcome him, watching as he gets into a half-squat position to angle his cock towards your entrance. Seungmin rubs his tip over your sensitive clit. When it catches your nub, you jolt. You wrap your legs around him and bring him closer. He does it again, this time pressing the head of his cock down to apply pressure. 

You reason he's doing this on purpose. Making your pussy squelch and your hips jolt to try and get him inside. As much as you hate to admit it, he's good with his dick. Teasing you by slowly dragging the fat of his head down your slit, slapping his tip and your wet cunt. You're annoyingly reminded of what he said days ago; 'I can make a girl cum. I just don't care to.'

The words echo in your mind and you scrunch your nose. "God, fuck! Stop pissing me off and put it in already."

For a moment, you think he's going to defy you. His tip trails lower and lower until it's against your entrance. Seungmin steadies his cock at the base and pushes forwards, barely spreading you open. "Didn't think I'd ever hear you begging for my cock," he smiles at you teasingly. "You were being such a feminist the other day. What happened?"

Not-so-nice words begin to form in your head and before you get the chance to spew them out, Seungmin pushes all the way in. His cock stretches you out more than you anticipated, and it's whines that leave your lips instead. He doesn't give you the chance to adjust as he pulls nearly all the way, save for his tip, before slamming back in. Your entire body jolts and you whimper again. 

Your pussy can't keep up with his pace, but you hardly mind the pain. It blurs into white pleasure that burns hot in your cunt. 

"You hear that?" Seungmin pants through his thrusts. "That's the sound of your pussy getting fucked by an...what was it again? An incel?" He laughs as your eyes darken with anger, seething with a type of emotion you're not too familiar with. 

You reach out the grip his wrist that's placed on the side of the couch, digging your nails into his flesh. Seungmin hardly notices the pain, his teeth shining in his shit-eating smile.

The words are stuck in your throat. You want no more than to tell Seungmin how much of an ass he is, that his cock is merely adequate, but you can't. Every drag of his length rubs against your walls deliciously. You can practically feel every vein on him as he fucks you raw. He makes your hot pussy even hotter and he, unfortunately for you, keeps dragging his cock against that sweet spot deep inside you.

"You," a breath from you, "are a dick."

Strangely enough, your words seem to spur him on more. He tears his hand from your iron grip to place them both under your hips. Seungmin angles your hips upwards and drives forward, shoving his cock unbelievably deeper. Your hands shoot up to your face, trying to block all sounds of pleasure, but Seungmin can hear them. He can hear the gasping behind your fingers, the high-pitched moans muffled in your hands. 

Seungmin laughs, but it sounds winded. "A dick huh? That's funny. You seem to like being fucked by one."

It occurs to you that you've been too lenient on him. Letting him eat the very same pussy he's thrusting into, letting him fuck you raw. His attitude needs some shaping.

You let him keep fucking you. You let his cock throb and twitch in your pussy. He's close, but he's doing good at holding back. Seungmin must be used to dumping his cum and leaving, but he seems to hold out just for you. It's cute, but your plan is better. 

Your head bounces with every thrust. Seungmin makes sure to keep his long fingers at your clit the entire time, switching between pinching and flicking against it. It helps to build your second orgasm. Your jaw falls open and your moans become more frequent.

"Shit," he breathes. "Pussy gripping me so tight. Is someone gonna cum again?"

Blinking up at him, you nod. Your hand grips your chest, squeezing your boobs underneath the material as you keep nodding. "Mhm. Keep fucking my pussy and I'll cream all over your cock." That does it for him. Seungmin has been holding back his orgasm so much that his ears feel like they might burst. 

With new vigor, he fucks into you harder, deeper. Seungmin doesn't try to hide the animalistic sounds he makes, groaning and moaning as your walls wrap around his cock. "You want my cum, huh? Acting all big and strong when it's you're begging for it. Say it. Tell me you want my cum."

You don't, not because you're prideful, but because you can't. He's thrusting into you so roughly that words seem to leave you. His hand pulls your clit roughly, and the harsh tug drives you over the edge. You squeeze your breasts so tightly to anchor yourself. You can feel how your pussy floods with your cum, leaving your legs trembling and shaking. 

Seungmin can feel it too. The pulsing, the wetness. It's enough to finally let him release. His balls tighten, his dick twitches, and he-

"Pull out."

Seungmin doesn't know why he listens. He was so close to his orgasm, he could still taste it on his tongue. But your demand outweighs his need to cum. With a wail, he pulls out. A small whimper makes its way past you as he finally slips out, cock shining in your cum. 

His cock is red, rubbed nearly raw from how good he was keeping himself at bay. You can see the head of his cock pulsing, worse than the first time you saw it. A wicked smile finds your lips. 

"Do you remember what I said earlier, Seungie?" You speak with artificial gentleness. Seungmin is too busy trying not to cum, squeezing the base of his cock almost painfully. You have to repeat your question before he finally looks up to you. "Huh? About what?"

"About who gets to cum," you remind him. "Who is it that gets to cum tonight?"

Seungmin thinks back about how you presented your cunt to him, bare and wet. He briefly recalls how you said something about being the only one to cum, but he was so entranced by your sweet pussy that he hardly cared.

He frowns, face flushed. "But that's not fair! I ate you out. You came on my tongue. You came on my dick. I'm so hard and-"

"And that doesn't matter," you interrupt him. "I never said you can cum. That's your fault for assuming you could." You have to bite back you smile at his pitiful reaction.

Even with his dejected look, you can't help but find it somewhat cute. You fake a pout and click your tongue, "Poor thing. Here, kisses will make you feel better."

Seungmin wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't you widening your legs and him falling to his knees. Yet, he does just that. You feel his warm, wet tongue on your throbbing clit. Sucking and licking eagerly like he forgot about the aching cock between his legs. 

You fondly brush the hair from his face as he eats you out for the second time tonight. His eyes look up to you with your clit in your mouth and you shiver. Seungmin will be a handful for sure, but you can't help but think you've found the perfect diamond in the rough.

a/n: omfg I actually had a whole different idea but I scraped it and did this instead :p. if you wanna ask for a third part, please don't, I have no more plot for this fic tags: @mynsung, @andassortedkpop, @jminnnnnnn, @geneziesm, @applekiwi3202, @i6gyuu, @lazycarolinamoment, @lewoh-ot8-wh0re, @ihave-atummyache, @seeeeking-skz, @loeyscock, @blankdyean, @dini-recs, @yzsqu, @desirehorizon-recsextra a/n: I need to start asking if people want tags rather than looking through my comments and see who was asking for a pt 2 :(

[ughsecondblogsdontwork]

I don't watch a whole lot of television, so maybe I'm missing some perspective, but I've never seen a TV show where the Main Character was a fat gay man (or person in general, I'm not crazy enough to think they'd ever try to pull this with a fat lesbian for instance) where neither his sexuality or fatness were 1. An overt problem in the narrative or 2. The butt of routine or mean-spirited jokes. What We Do In the Shadows was awesome in so many ways, but it was also awesome because I got to see a gay and fat person do all kinds of shit as a main character without being constantly questioned or degraded for being fat! I really, really love Guillermo. He's a vampire slayer! An action hero! He looks cool, cute and sexy all at once in his action scenes- I love watching him grow as a character and stand up for himself, I love his jokes, he's really such a great character! So this final season sucked, right. Like this final season was total shit ass, I'm sorry. I'm so disappointed. I feel so let down. There are a million reasons why it sucked, but right now I just feel sad because of how everything turns out for Guillermo and the queer and fat representation in the show. First of all, it really threw me for a loop when the show opened with crazy fat jokes about Colin Robinson. That obviously did not land for me at all and why would it land for wwdits viewers? We are following a show where we are emotionally invested in a fat MC and we don't have a *problem* with fatness- so why would I think it's funny that Colin Robinson "got fat"??? Make it make sense lmao.

And I don't know why the fuck Nandor and Guillermo's entire relationship was abandoned. Did every single writer jump ship and get replaced by someone who's never seen the show or??? Well, it feels like a punch in the gut for a few reasons:

This show is supposedly "queer". Every known vampire is queer and Guillermo is gay. But the only consistent relationship is Nadja and Lazslo, which isn't a problem obviously we love them, but would it kill the show for there to be...? More visibly queer relationships? It's a show that insists its gay over and over again in word but not action. I don't care if Nandor and Lazslo like to fuck each other silly offscreen, and Nadja is also supposedly queer in some way, off screen- everything is conveniently off screen. Nandor and Guillermo did not *need* to get together, but the lack of explicit acknowledgement is weird. It just is.

Also, it would just be nice! Like am I crazy? Is it too much to ask for? To see a fat MC be in love and in a relationship not in spite of their appearance but just bc the other person likes them? I feel like every show with gay couples as main characters is a romance based show that is mostly About them getting together. Wwdits is so much fun because it's about so many things! But why couldn't this be *one* of those things? Can you think of a single show in the world right now where a fat queer main character is in a relationship and their looks or their sexuality are not the key point of conversation about the relationship? I can't! This was the perfect opportunity! Nandor and Guillermo fell into a well established relationship trope that had nothing to do with appearance or sexuality, and people who like that trope were naturally drawn to it. Why did they just spit on the whole thing? It makes no fucking sense.

Any response like "well sometimes unrequited love is a good plot" "X needed to grow and Y relationship was bad" "It's better this way because of XYZ" "It would have been toxic" this is a silly tv show about murderous vampires. Guillermo is also a murderer. There is just no possible way that a relationship between Guillermo and Nandor would have ruined the show lmao. It would have been fun! Remember when TV comedies were about being fun! I sure do! Apparently asking for a fun gay relationship between the queer main characters of the "queer TV show" is just too much to ask- better luck next time! Honestly, I feel so bitter lol. Bitter and sad. A show this fun and a cast this good deserved a waaaaay better ending all around. This post isn't even touching all the other weird shit and quite a lot of objectively bad shit that was wrong with the season

Before anyone gets all weird about my use of the word fat if you're not familiar with that, I am fat and I think fat is a neutral word and am trying to normalize the usage of it instead of substituting it with shit like "plus size". Fat is not an insult in the context of my words lol

[waitmyturtles]

Hot Take: Be On Cloud and Sammon out GMMTV-ed GMMTV with that lame-ass 4 Minutes finale

(TW: Ummm, this ended up being a rant, so don't read this if you enjoyed that finale.)

WOW.

This is not the central thesis of this post at all, but I need to get this off my chest, FIRST OF AWL: GET AN ORIGINAL OST. WOW.

LIKE, ACTUALLY, I want to not get into this, but I actually need to talk about this for a second. ICONIC OSTs like, SAY, "Why Don't You Stay" or "Just Friend" (OR THE DARK BLUE KISS THEME SONG, THE BEST ONE) are meant to invoke THE SHOW FROM WHICH THAT SONG HAILS, AND THE FEELINGS THAT THAT PARTICULAR SHOW MADE ONE FEEL. WHAT THE FUCK WAS 4 MINUTES THINKING?! THIS SHOW WAS NOT KINNPORSCHE. NOT AT ALL. I FELT NO KP FROM 4 MINUTES. I hope Jeff Satur sues BOC for copyright infringement. ANYWAY.

I mean, this is gonna be messy, but in yet another case of shippy roooooomance, a kind of rooooomance that's supposed to leave us feeling like the central couple is worth redeeming against both the obstacles that the story gives them, AND/OR a weak script as well (I wrote about this recently during a rewatch of The Eclipse), I mean, BOC and Sammon just threw an otherwise really amazing storyline to the dogs.

We were supposed to get a lot of moral and ethical loops closed here. I would have been okay with a Ton Kla redemption! I would have been okay with Korn living the rest of his life in pain and suffering for neglecting Ton Kla! Instead, they're both "redeemed" by their own deaths?! I get Win being upset, but Win, you knew who you were sleeping with! Come awn!

AND. I'm supposed to believe that Great is worth redemption because he threw a corrupt government minister under the bus and prevented his parents from coming back to Thailand, while we see him walking away from a woman having a heart attack???? Like, THAT'S NOT GOOD!!!! He's had a messy life, but he's not necessarily a good person, folks!!! HELLO!!! "He's a good person?!" TYME?? Like, Great's hot, BUT LIKE, DON'T BE LIKE THAT, TYME, GURL, ACTUALLY LOOK THRU AT WHO YOU'RE DATING.

ALSO, TYME, HIPPOCRATIC OATH, DUDE. I KNOW YOU WANT THAT GUY DEAD, AND HE DESERVES BAD THINGS, BUT YOU CAN'T MAIM HIM PURPOSELY, HOMEY, YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A PROFESSOR.

And LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK, putting a whole new story point about Warit's kidnapping from some dude named Wanchai who we don't even know, and finding out that Warit is a general?!?! It was JUST CONFUSING.

Also, Den dating a patient. I know medical ethics are probably different in Thailand, but they cannot be THAT DIFFERENT, friends, they can't (right? right?).

And. Finally. TYME GOT SHOT MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE CHEST AREA. He survived after two months of recovery?! HE SURVIVED POINT-BLANK SHOOTING?!?!?!??!?!?! AND GREAT SURVIVED HIS POINT-BLANK SHOOTING, TOO?!?!?!?!

LISTEN. LISTEN. I get that BOC wants GreatTyme together. JesBible are a good pair. It's fine Great and Tyme are together. It's nice.

But there was an ACTUAL storyline, told WONDERFULLY for seven episodes, that had these characters in moral and ethical chokeholds that could have received different and very much more appropriate endings. This is fiction, of course, but the moral and ethical prisons these characters were in were very real-to-life by way of what humans value, and how you balance those values against the real-time decisions that humans need to make for themselves and their families.

Instead, BOC took the wild GMMTV playbook of late (The Eclipse, 23.5, Only Friends, Wandee Goodday, even Last Twilight and My Precious) and just railroaded ethical explorations for, my GAWD, guitars and boats. GUITARS AND BOATS! If either Great or Tyme had died, how would the story have expressed regret, uncommunicated feelings, unsolved mysteries?

The ending sucked the mystery out of this series, and frankly, made light of the fact that we were not in a Series Y for seven-eighths of a runtime, only to truly suck us back into Y territory -- real, sugary, cheesy Y territory, GUITARS, THE KP OST OMG -- that just clashed with the tonality of what was shaping up to be a great queer crime murder mystery show. GMMTV already does this. BOC did not need to go there.

Funny that some of us are watching Kidnap now, and commenting (I'm stealing @shortpplfedup's words here) that Kidnap is not a crime BL, but a crime BL. Kidnap knows what it is: it is shaping up to be a fun, unserious Y series that's centered around two himbos not really understanding the consequences of their decisions, and being googly while doing it. It seems to be taking its unseriousness seriously. Good on GMMTV for taking initiative there.

4 Minutes? 4 Minutes needs moral closure, not sappy romance. I could have used a hint that we were gonna get punked earlier. I wouldn't have taken this show as seriously as I did if I had known otherwise.

[coldfanbou]

The Gift Of Cucking

Here we are with the piece that I was writing. A little bit of rough sex here.

Length 2K

Minju X Mreader

You sat on your bed with your wife sitting on your lap. Sullyoon kisses you softly as she presses her hand onto your chest. "I don't know why you're so into this." 

"Because it's hot." She replies. What she liked was being cucked. Sullyoon had asked you to have sex with other women a few times. You only agreed this time because it was her birthday gift. 

"For you, yeah." You say dismissively.

"Aren't you happy you get to have sex with beautiful women and not get in trouble?" Sullyoon replies teasingly, tracing your lips with her finger. 

"I'd rather it be with you."

"I know, sweetie, but-" she says kindly before a knock at the door takes her attention away from you. Sullyoon quickly makes her way to a small closet in your room. Small slats on the upper half allow her to watch without being seen. You take a long drink from the whiskey bottle on the nightstand before opening the door. Standing there is a young woman, "Minju?" She nods her head, and you allow her inside. The young woman dressed to show off her long legs, incredibly short shorts with heels that climbed her calf with the least amount of fabric possible. A short top with a flower design and an oddly shaped cardigan. The drink starts affecting you as you stare at her lovely legs. 

Minju notices and sits down on your bed, lightly pressing them together. "Do you like them?"

You gulp and nod, "They're great." A small giggle escapes her, and stares into your eyes. 

"So honest. You can touch them if you want." You take a seat beside Minju and place your hand on her thigh. Her cool and smooth skin feels nice. Minju leans up and kisses your cheek before whispering, "I love when men can appreciate these thick thighs of mine. It gets me all hot and bothered. I don't think I'll be able to control myself much longer." It was an obvious tease, but it still made your cock twitch hearing those words. You instinctively squeeze her thigh, drawing an exaggerated moan from her. Minju's hand runs over your developing bulge, "You're already getting so big. You've got a monster hiding in here, don't you? I'll make sure to treat it right."

"Would you like a drink before we begin?" You ask, staring at Minju's legs.

"I'd love one." You go to pour her a drink, and while you're doing that, Minju works herself out of heels and loosens her clothing, removing the cardigan altogether. Turning back around, you see her loosened clothes and can't help but smile. As you hand her the drink, she knocks it back quickly and hands you the glass. "Let's get started," Minju says, dragging you onto the bed. She straddles you and helps remove your clothes before slowly removing hers. Minju knows she's teasing you as she lifts her halter top over her head. While her bust isn't the largest, it is more than enough. Her breasts are perky, and you reach for them almost immediately, drawing a laugh from Minju. "I guess you like every part of me." The next thing to go is her shorts. Minju gets off you for a second to do so. She faces away from you and bends over, wiggling her ass as she drops her last remaining piece of clothes. She climbs back over you, her breasts swaying as she places your cock between her legs, rubbing it with her wet cunt. Minju kisses both cheeks, leaving a light pink marking before pressing her lips against yours.

"Would you mind eating me? You'll get to feel my thighs again, and I'll even suck your cock."

"I wouldn't mind at all." You respond, and Minju switches her position. Her soft thighs press against the sides of your head. You rise and take a quick lick at her slit, making her shudder.

"Oh, so eager. I'll take care of you too." Minju takes your cock in her hand and slowly strokes it. Every moment done with precision, Minju presses her lips against the tip before swallowing it. She moves her hair behind her ear while her tongue swirls around the tip like it’s ice cream. You moan into her cunt as you begin to eat her out with vigor. Your tongue explores her insides while your hands grope and massage her thighs and ass. With a sly smile on Minju's face, she glances at the closet Sullyoon is in, not knowing that was her hiding place. 

Sullyoon is naked in the closet, fingering herself slowly so as not to make a sound. She's greatly pleased seeing the action. Minju's mouth works wonders as she starts to bob her head. You can feel her lips being stretched as she tries to take in more. Her tongue licks at the sides of your cock while her hand starts massaging your balls. You feel a tightness as you get close to cumming. Wanting not to be the only one cumming, you lap at Minju's pussy, pushing far past her lips. You also start playing with her clit, rubbing it with your fingers. A high-pitched moan from Minju tells you that she loves it. She crosses her legs behind your head, her calves acting as a pillow for you. Her body shakes as she nears her orgasm; Minju's precise and slow blowjob breaks down to quick and sloppy. Her drool flows down your shaft onto your balls as you warn her you're about to cum. "Me, too. Let me taste you." She mumbles as she continues to work your shaft. You buck your hips as you cum, ramming your cock into the back of her mouth. Minju wasn't expecting it but is able to keep you in her mouth as you unload a wave a cum. She tries her best to drink it all, her cheeks puff up from the large amount you gave her, but she manages it. Simultaneously, you were tasting Minju's nectar as she pressed your head against her cunt. She was grinding on your face as you lapped all her juices. Once your orgasms come to an end, you both lay there, catching your breath. 

Minju moves down your body until your cock presses against her cunt. Still catching her breath, she looks back at you, "Are you ready to fuck me?" You sit up and position yourself behind Minju. Cock in hand, you rub the head against her lips. Minju whimpers, "Come on, do it. Fuck me." At her request, you impale Minju with your cock, skewering her in it. "Oh fuck!" Minju's upper body collapses onto the bed. You pull back and slam yourself back into Minju. Her tiny pussy is stretched by your cock. The tightness feels like heaven to you; at the same time, though, you feel an anger surge through you. The fact that Sullyoon would rather watch than be with you makes you angry. You pull out and thrust back into Minju, "oh fuck, you're so big." She moans while gripping the bed frame. She tries to lift her head, but you press it back down as you aggressively thrust into her. 

"You like that, don't you, you dirty whore!" You yell at Minju.

"Yes! Yes! I love your cock!" She responds as you fuck you. "I'm your whore, your dirty little whore." She repeats almost desperately. Minju's walls are tightening around your cock as you degrade her. You let go of her head and pull her arms back, keeping her body from lurching forward. You drive your cock deep into Minju as you begin thrusting at a faster pace. Your bodies slam against each other; the sound bounces off the walls in conjunction with your moans. You pull Minju's upper body up, one of your hands wrapping around her neck while the other kneads her breast. 

"You're a good-for-nothing cocksleeve, aren't you, huh!?" 

"Yes! I'm a good-for-nothing cocksleeve, made to take your cock!" Minju yells back as your grip on her neck tightens. You feel her pussy grow tight around your cock as you insult her again. "Fuck, I'm cumming!" She screams. Her body shakes as she cums. You release her body, letting it fall back onto the bed. You continue to skewer Minju with your cock, thrusting into the overstimulated woman. "Wait, I'm sensitive!" She cries out. 

"Shut it!" You strike her ass, watching it jiggle from the hard hit. Minju yelps in response. Minju's limp body is a toy for you to use as you continue fucking her. Her moans weaken until you feel her pussy clamp down on your cock. She moans loudly as cums again. 

"Please…let me rest." She moans weakly.

"Not yet; I haven't cum yet. I think I need something tighter." You pull out of Minju and press the head of your cock against her asshole.

This made Minju stir, "No, not there." You press against her asshole, pushing the head in. "Wait!" You grab onto Minju's hips and pull her onto your cock. "Oh god!" She yells as she feels you split her in two. You give her no time to adjust, thrusting into her guts despite the resistance. The anal walls squeeze down on you with incredible pressure. You groan loudly, feeling every part of your cock be handled like that. The more you thrust, the easier it is, as your cock, coated in her nectar, makes her as slick. Her groans of pain soon become moans of pleasure as she adjusts to your size. 

"You're my whore, and I'm taking everything out on you." You say as you begin to come to your senses 

"I'm your whore, I'm your whore…" she repeats until she goes unconscious. You feel your orgasm coming, a tightness in your balls that goes away as you fill Minju's ass with your semen. You're buried inside her ass when you cum. When you pull out, you see your cum leaking out of her gaping asshole; her ass is bright red from the earlier smack. Despite being passed out, Minju's ass hangs in the air.

Some time goes by before Minju wakes up. She presses her hand to her ass before recoiling in pain. "Ah, that hurts. I won't be able to walk or sit for weeks. Did you have to be so rough?" She falls onto her side and looks at you.

You debate on how to answer, "I lost my cool." You say.

"Yeah, I know." Minju tries to sit up but can't. Instead, she moves to lay her head on your lap. Her hand lifts your cock, "I… kind of want this again, though. I want you to destroy me." She glances at your cock before looking at you. "I am your whore after all…and it's a whores job to take cock." Minju smiles and winks at you. "Could you help me get dressed? I don't think I'll be able to. I can get home, though; I have a friend coming." 

"Yeah, I can help you." After you've helped dress her, Minju leaves the house just as her friend arrives. Making your way back into your room, you see Sullyoon walking out of the closet covered in sweat. 

"That was so hot. I came so many times watching you destroy her. When you fucked her ass so suddenly, I nearly screamed." She says, lifting her hand for you to see her fingers sticky with her nectar.

"Yeah…," you say dejectedly, remembering that Sullyoon would always prefer watching overdoing it. 

"I'm going to shower; then I'll tell you what I was doing in there." Sullyoon gives you a quick kiss before heading off. 

You sit on the bed, waiting until your phone goes off. It was a message from Minju that read, "I can't wait until our next time. How would you feel about getting dinner first? I'd love to get to know the man that took my anal virginity before our next session." A smile grows on you as you respond.

[dracobrooklyn]

|| MDNI 18+ ||

Did anyone ask for Vox x Female!Reader headcannons? No? That's fine. As Thanos said "Fine, I'll do it myself." and I just did.

This is a Cannon x Female!Reader just a heads up. I do take some cannon stuff from the Show, but I also add my own things in their, these are just guess's since we don't know what's gonna happen in Season 2.

CW: There is NSFW stuff in this, Sugar Daddy x Sugar baby theme, pet names, P in V sex, spanking, biting, scratching, and a bit of Age-gap.

Word count: 777

Vox is very much old fashion so dating him, he very much can be a gentleman with his lover. His sweet little sugar baby. Opens the door for you, pulls out the chair for you and gently slides you back in. Kiss's your knuckles as a token of affection and greeting. Vox I like to think absolutely would sometimes sends flowers if he is inspired or saw them thinking about you.

I mean why are you dating him? Isn't he dating Valentino and Velvet? Well yes he is, but why not have more in the circle. Also yes you are probably in your middle to late 20's and he probably in his late 30's Early 40's... But he also offered a good price to be his arm candy. $5,000 Dollars. Welp time to put on that makeup, and cute heels he likes.

Vox isn't into much PDA but he will wrap an arm around you to keep by his side. Sit on his lap in a club or even when he's working onto his chair. May run his Blue neon claws through your hair just to get a good feel of them while listening to someone talk or reading something. Maybe smell the shampoo you used in your hair.

Vox will SPOIL you! And I mean it. The Man will buy you so much Jewelry. Nice new clothes, dresses, shoes, and yes sexy lingerie. Or he will get Velvets stuff for free cause yeah they work together. He likes to dress up his lil Sugar baby. The Lingerie he likes black, anything with black and some blue in there, he will lose his mind! In a good way that is. You see the red blood of the corner of his mouth seeping as he grins at you wearing that delectable outfit.

Vox will want you to call him daddy. I am not kidding he will look at you smirking as he hands you a gift you say "Thank you." to him as he wiggles his brows at you as he asks "How about thank you daddy~?". You're not sure if you like to say the nickname, it's in a way degrading to yourself... but at the same time you can't help but blush and mumbled it out making him grin showing his sharp teeth, and the blood seeping from the corner of his mouth again. Vox is a Switch, I am sure he very much bottoms when it comes to Valentino or maybe Tops the Moth man when Valentino feels like taking it up from the ass. But with you, you're the Sub, and he's the Dom. He will want you to call him daddy while he is thrusting into you. Resting your knee's onto his shoulders trying to bend you as much as he can so he can thrust deeper inside your plush wet Pussy.

Will the man electrocute you sometimes during sex? A little yes, I like to think his blue tongue does lick onto your skin and you feel a little shock. Causing goosebumps onto your skin. Even more so he will do it to your nipples as well. Vox also is a Biter, I mean with those sharp teeth, He leaves marks. The Bite marks glow neon blue but they slowly fade away over night only leaving the bite marks.

Vox's pet names towards you is "Kitten, Sugar Tits, Princess, and Sweet heart." and sometimes "Brat." if you act up because this man is a Brat tamer. He will grab you and give you a soft spank as a warning. If you continue, he will later at night give you a punishment worth deserving.

Vox loves lip play. Gently takes his blue claw thumb gently flicking your lip lovingly tracing his thumb onto them as he licks his teeth slowly. He loves looking at your lips, just thought of them kissing something to vile as he is. Or even sucking him off.

Vox cums neon blue cum... I'm not sorry and I was not the only one who thought that, don't lie.... *squints eyes* Vox uses Sex toys?.... Honey.... the man is the vibrator... XD JK but he does yes, he will get creative though as long you like it of course. I like to think he communicates with his partner, unlike Valentino the rat. And Yes use Aphrodisiac's if you're alright with that. Give you a better sex experience.

His Aftercare is meh, it could be better but he at least make sure you have something to drink after fucking you. Makes sure you didn't get hurt from his claws cause he do have those sharp claws. They hurt guys... ouch.

[detshin]

uhm, how exactly will gosho develop the cousin thing in the manga.

I mean, I wouldn't know, honestly. What goes on in the mind of that man only he knows (and sometimes I doubt even that).

My opinion under the read more...

Personally, I've already stated many times that it's a trope I've liked and headcanoned for a long while now, and it's not like it's COMPLETELY out of the blue. The whole "they look the same" is a big factor, there have been references to them having some sort of "ancestor" in common, the Toichi and Yusaku tease was already there in the childhood case of Shinichi (where Toichi appeared and called Shinichi big bro btw 👀) and there was a time long ago that Gosho said something about it in an interview and that it was going to be talked about.

Anyway, point is, I could see this going in different ways. I would LOVE to see this being explored and dealt with nicely and seriously, but my hopes for that are low. He'll either just have it mentioned and never more explored or talked about (like with akemi and akai), or maybe in the mk manga now to talk about Toichi, I don't know?

Because honestly, I feel like people are getting hung up on the cousins thing and are forgetting about the confirmation of what we all have been fearing and it's that Toichi is indeed alive and both of Kaito's parents suck ass. And what scares me is the possibility of it being comedic or Kaito being okay with it or something when he deserves to have that be explored. He became a criminal because of it! And his parents know and aren't doing ANYTHING!

I've said this before, MK is not as shits and giggles as it seems. Story is pretty darn dark if you think about it. Kaito is one of if not THE most solitary (lonely) character of the dcmk universe. He is not as the fandom tends to represent him sometimes. That's not Kaito. The over the top, flirty, pompous one is Kid. It's a mask. A facade. Kaito is not like that, he is just a teen who is struggling to make real connections with people and who is terrified of being found out as a criminal and cannot for the life of him let people IN because they'll see right through him and whose "dead" dad taught him NOT TO SHOW HIS EMOTIONS.

Kaito NEEDS some support. Jii alone is not enough. His own parents have lied to him his entire life and he's constantly alone, grieving for something that is not real. He has Aoko, but he CAN'T let her in completely for obvious reasons. Hakuba's there, but same thing. And I'm sorry but Akako I don't really think counts either, he actively seems not to really even like her or whatever...

MY POINT IS. If Kaito can get some new family members that could support him... Why refuse it, no? I'm not talking about Yusaku because he's also been keeping him in the dark and all and hasn't really seemed to do anything about it. But Yukiko (yes I'm choosing to believe she's also oblivious to Kaito being put in that situation) and Shinichi? Oh, those two could do wonders for someone like Kaito, in my opinion. Because Yukiko is Yukiko (she was born to be the cool aunt), and Shinichi is... Well... Shinichi. He could understand Kaito and actively show him support and help. They COULD be amazing as family.

Now it's all just a matter of... Does Gosho WANT to go that deep into this? Or is he going to continue to disregard Kaito's suffering and not give him anyone to lean on?

Anyway, cousins Kaito and Shinichi rule!

[captainsarahscratches]

Thin Walls

Reader and Kenny Omega are staying the night at a friend house unexpectedly. Ruining their plans for the evening.However, Kenny disagrees and convinces Reader that they can still have some fun.

....................

Kenny Omega x Fem Reader

SMUT, Muffling, Light Choking, Taboo Sex, Quasi-Public Sex, Anal Play, Degradation : Slut, Whore, Cunt, Potential Caught in the Act Scenarios

....................

"damnit, I knew I should have taken the car in yesterday." You said as your engine failed to turn over yet again. "I told you, you can't ignore a check engine light y/n." Rolling your eyes and mimicking his voice "YoU cAnT IgnOrE the LigHt, Im Kenny And I know things blah blah blah"

Chuckling, "Come on baby, let's get inside. It's starting to rain. Let's see if Matt is okay with us staying a bit longer until we can figure something out." Wrapping his arm around you, you lock your car. He looks down at you, "What? Worried someone is gonna steal it? It can't even move." You laughed, cheerishing the fact he can still make you laugh in a shitty situation.

You go to knock at the door but the door swung open and Matt said to get inside quickly as the rain was getting worse very fast. "Get inside, car won't start?"

"Someone ignored her engine light for too long." As he gently nudged you with his arm, "Can we stay a little longer until we can get someone out here?"

"Dude, just stay the night. Its pouring outside and it's almost midnight anyway. No one is coming out in this shit. We have an extra room." As he was explaining himself Matt's wife Dana handed you a stack of towels, "You're staying. I'm not letting you two drive in this."

You just smiled and said thank you. You continued on to settle in. After saying goodnight to Dana and Matt you laid in bed beside Kenny.

"Well, I know this isn't what we had planned for tonight but I'm glad we didn't have to drive in this." he said as he flipped through channels stopping on the weather channel showing the severity of the storm.

Sighing you replied, "I know, but I was looking forward to tonight. I love when you play with my ass" He cocked an eyebrow in your direction. "And what makes you think that isn't happening?'' He turned over to hover over your body, his hand tracing the skin of your thigh. You were shocked, did he actually just suggest what you think he did? "Ken, we can't do that here."

"And why not? We have this nice big bed to ourselves and a storm outside always gets you in the mood. What was it you said? Drowns out your moans for the neighbors?" He started to lay kisses on the nape of your neck.

You moaned softly at his touch but caught yourself. "Exactly why we can't do that here. You know how loud I am, and especially when you train my ass. I dont want then to hear."

Sucking harder on your neck whispering gruffly in your ear, "What dont want Matt to hear how good I fuck you? How I make you scream for more. Listen to the absolutely filthy fucking moans you let out when I fuck you senseless as I thumb your little virgin ass." He smacks your ass hsrd making you yelp and roll towards him trying to stifle your moans. "That's exactly what I dont want." You lay on top of him staring into his eyes, his arms wrapped around holding you tight, his cock hard and against your core. You can't help but to bite your lip looking at your man kike this.

"See there it is..."

"What?"

His hand gently cups your neck, "See you love the idea of being caught. I can see it in your eyes. But you're right, you're too loud. But I can fix that." His grip becomes tighter. "See we'll make it a game. Lets see how long you can keep yourself quiet. If you're quiet, I fuck you until we cum and kiss you good night like my sweet little girl filled with daddy's cum.... But if you start to make a scene and scream as I fuck you, well.... I won't be as sweet. Because baby, if you let them hear you, you're going to let them know exactly how good I fuck you."

Befor you could even respond you felt his length thrust into you, causing you to moan and bite your lip harshly. Kenny's hand cupped your cheek.

"Oh this will be fun. Won't it Sweetheart?"

you could only desperately nod, not daring to open your mouth.

"Mmm good girl"

His already darken eyes look up at you as he starts to suck hard on your breast, turning into little bites, making sure to mark you. You can see a smirk on his face, as his hand reaches back to your throat, gently bringing you face to face with him. "Now see, why am I not surprised that you cant keep quiet darling? Huh? One little bite and you're already moaning. What are we going to do about that?" His lips millimeters from your ear, his breath on your neck, you pussy clenching around his cock with every word. "Aww I can feel how bad you need me baby. Your little cunt is begging for me." He starts to flex his cock inside of you, causing you to bury your face in his shoulder. Grabing your hair he bring your head up again, "Do I need to find a way to shut your mouth for you?" You look at him with needy eyes. "Yes, Sir" you whisper quietly.

Bouncing on his cock, biting your lip so hard you think might bleed. "Lets get rid of this though, let me see my beautiful girl" He strips you of the shirt Dana loaned you, instantly encapsulating your nipple in his mouth... Causing you to break your silence. "Oh fuck yes..."

"On your knees."

You looked up at him with excitement, slowly stroking his cock in your hand. Taking time before placing a soft kiss on the tip of his cock, swiping your tongue slowly up his length. "That's a good girl, show me how much you can take down that pretty little mouth of yours" You smiled as you took him inrto your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and running your tongue on the shaft of his dick.

He dropped his head backwards, growling at the feeling. "Fuck Y/N... Such a good fucking Slut for me" It was then, when it clicked in your mind.

This wasn't about you not being loud, this was a contest to see who made who break first. You hummed around his cock with an mischievous look in your eyes. Kenny inhaled deeply laughing quietly to himself as he realized what you were thinking. "No, now this is about you. Be a good girl, and. Fuckkk" You starting to bob your head up and down vigorously, stroking his length as you came up, taking his length to the back of your throat, softly gagging around him. But it didn't stop you. You wanted to be the reason he came undone.

He pulled you to your feet flipped you around and bent you over the bed, hand on you shoulders to keep you down. "Yeah, baby? You want to suck me like a little whore? You're going to get fucked like a little whore." He spread ypur ass apart, smacking it hard and without any build up slammed into yoh. Gucking you harder with every thrust. You bit onto the pillow, but Kenny ripped it away, throwing it on the floor. Leaving you on an empty bed with nothing to muffle you.

"God damnit y/n, fuck... Suck that fucking cock." He inhaled quickly, taking your hair in his hand thrusting into your mouth. "Yeah, you want to suck my cock like a little whore? huh? Being such a sneaky little slut for me. Thinking that your going to make me wake up the house?? Not tonight darling. Come here"

"Let me hear you. Tell me who's my little slut?"

"I am"

He smacks your ass again.

"Who??"

"I am your little slut, daddy"

He leans over you, whispering in your ear.

"That's right baby, I love when you act like a little slut for me. Taking Daddy's cock so well in your little cunt. Letting me use you no matter where we are. You dont even care that Matt can hear right now do you?" He felt your walls clench around his cock again "Oh so you like that he can dont you? Well if thats the case, let's let him hear what we've been training for. Oh and don't hold back. I want them to hear how my sweet little y/n is a dirty fucking whore for me, and only me. I want you to make them so horny with your moans that we hear them fucking too. Yeah, you want everyone to know how much you live my cock don't you baby?"

With that, you felt his thumb press into your asshole and that was it. Loudly you moaned out "FUCK DADDY, YES" You couldn't hold it any longer you were moaning into the matress to no avail of covering your moans. Kenny loved it and you could feel it. He started to finger your ass faster and deeper and thrusting himself ruthlessly deep into you. Your orgasm was uncontrollable and with little warning. You came around his cock, making a mess of the two of you and the sheets of the bed.

Kenny couldn't hold back much longer. He removed his hand your ass and gripped both sides of you hips so hard, you started to bruise. Throught gritted teeth, eyes shut, head falling into your back "Fuck y/n, God you're so fucking tight."

Smacking your ass over abd over again, leaving your ass red and wanting more.

"Fuckk baby you're going to make me cum."

You looked over your shoulder getting the best look you could of him.

"Do it, Cum for me Kenny. Cum inside me, Breed me Daddy. I need it, Let me be a good little slut for you."

Kenny yelled out in euphoria. Grunting loudly as he fought to keep fucking you through his orgasm. His cum flood and overflowing your cunt. He was sweating and breathing hard, after a moment he pulled out of you. Hands on your ass and bent dow you clean up the mess he made. Something he had never done befoe, making you gasp and like second nature grind your ass against him. He started to take the mess and spread it over you fingered asshole, sliding his middle finger inside one more time. "Yeah, Im going to make this ass mine tomorrow. At home, so I can hear you properly moan out."

Moments passed and he helped clean you both up and settle into bed properly. Snuggling up againdt him, the two of you still coming down from your high. You said "I'm honestly surprised we didn't wake them after that." Before Kenny could even respond, you both heard a distant moan from the other room accompanied by a rhythmic thumping against the wall.

Kenny looked so surprised and giddy as he said

"See, I told you. Your moans are so fucking hot thwy get everyone horny. 😃" You laughed softlt slapped his chest. "Shut up, you dont know that's what happened."

"Matt you're not putting anything in my ass!" "Fine, I'm sorry"

You look at each other and smile but then it hits you both how thin the walls actually are....

Breakfast will be very interesting tomorrow.

[ceedaryaps]

Iron flame yap seshh: Characters

Hiyyaaaaahhhhhhhh I don't have much of an intro this time so were going straight into it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Violet & Zaden: If I thought they annoyed me before OHH BROTHERR. The lack of communication between these two is astounding. "Why didn't you tell me." "You didn't ask" "I DID ask." "Well, you didn't ask the right questions." ..................dpmo. I love them but they're so annoying I'm sorry and then when Violent found out ole girl has the same fighting style bc Zaden trained her too!!?? Violet wasn't mad enough for me. Then after he heard that girl tell Violet that Zaden only wanted her for sex what does he do? Try to have sex with Violet. IDk Violet is a much better woman than me I would have killed him. I do love that Violet clocked him and was like "You're acting like Dain." CLOCK HIM AGAIN. The Zaden being vennin at the end ugh what is even going awnnnnnn. In my opinion Violet should have been a lot meaner and Zaden.....for god's sake, I'm tired of the angsty man act can't lie. (Kudos to Violet for withstanding torture and knowing not to drink that shit the second time around THATS MY GIRL)

Rhiannon: Opinion hasn't changed. Queen.

Dain: This is not a complete redemption bc I still don't like the fact that he's still "Are you SURE you want him Violet." But I enjoy that he grew a brain and sided with the right folks. Like busting her out of there? I won't call him king but he at least gets Squire status.

Aaric Graycastle: "Keep ur fucking boyfriend away from me." Oh yeah, I fuck with him. Is someone not a suck-up to Zaden and not afraid to actually try to go at him? I sense a new fav.

Andarna: Princess Andarna wants blood and blood she will get, I kinda expected her to be different in some way so her scales changing was not a huge surprise but it was nice. Also despite the rules the dragons have in place she absolutely bodied that other dragon for Violet and ugh I love Andarna so much yall don't understand.

Tairn & Sgayel: I'm putting these two together bc man that scene where Tairn finds out that not only Zaden kept something from Violet but more importantly Sgayel kept something from Tairn!!!???? Gods I love these two as mates but that scene hurts my feelings. Also Dad!Tairn constantly being like "Andarna no." is my new fav thing.

Momma Sorrengail: Yanno.......I dont think I dislike her as much as I did, especially because she ended up helping but like...idk. I think id be like Brennan and just be like "Eh fuck you kinda?" like idk how to truly feel about her after iron flame. Its a complicated I don't like her but thanks we couldn't have done it without her? Pulled through for her kids ig so go momma Sorrengail.

Jack Barlowe: WHAT.THE.FUCK what. WHAT. First off, how are you alive, second why are you alive, third SAVED VIOLET?, fourth VENIN? fith KILLING BAIDE?! Someone kill him for good ZADEN DO UR THING like double tap make sure he STAYS down.

Brennan: no overwhelming feelings tbh. I understand his attitude towards Lilith tho def deserved it.

Catronia: I dont like her, Violet should have beat her ass WORSE. And like yeah mind powers are invasive but amplifying someone's EMOTIONS?! Yeah she sucks. And being mad at Violet bc of a fuck ass crown girl get REAL. Showing up in a see-through gown at Zaden's door? You dirty skank bitch she better be next on the off list especially her sparring match with Violet. IDGAF if she helped later fuck Cat.

Ridoc: "The map is under my mattress." King. So in love with him. Can we stop giving him near-death experiences pls ill cry.

Sawyer:....... don't do this to me man he better be okay.

Jesina: Queen pulled through for the translations a smart baddie queen love that for her tbh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay yall that's all I got for now, it was gonna be posted earlier but I went through a breakup and college got busyyyy hopefully I can give my thoughts on the actual plot of Iron flame soon!

[mayajadewrites]

suguru geto x fem reader: lucky

roommates to lovers–friends to lovers–slow burn

story synopsis: Suguru Geto is your best friend and roommate. After a year of living together, there have been more than one opportunity to throw away your friendship. The question is, would you get lucky as fall in love for the rest of your days?

ao3

CHAPTER SIX

🎧🌙🧺📖🕯️🧸🤍

It's not often that you're left speechless. Suguru Geto has succeeded, however. You stared into his eyes, watching as they search your face for some sort of confirmation.

You could not find the words to say to Suguru. You wanted Suguru badly. You felt conflicted though, since you didn't want to lose your best friend.

You also do like Choso and have been willing to explore your relationship with him. It wouldn't be fair to him to just forget about him and be with Suguru.

"Tell me." Suguru persisted.

"I can't." You finally say, pushing your head on Suguru's headboard.

"So whats wrong?" Suguru takes his index finger, caressing the outline of your face.

"Sugu, you're my best friend." You sigh. "If we didn't work out, I'm not sure if I could be without you."

"If you're always worried about the future, you can't enjoy the present."

"There's also Choso."

"Fuck Choso." Suguru sucked his teeth.

"Hey, be nice. You don't know him and I like him." You ran your fingers through Suguru's jet black locks. "I just don't want to rush into anything. I'm not even sure you actually feel this way or if it's your sick brain."

"So that's not a no." Suguru coughed.

"Why don't we revisit this when your body temperature is not the same as hell?" You moved his hair away from his forehead.

"Will you stay here with me?" Suguru looked up at you with his coffee ground eyes.

"Say please and I will."

"Please."

"Yes, I will." You curl yourself next to Suguru's body, your bodies intertwining with each other.

"Next time I'll be the one making you beg."

The morning is here before you know it. When you open your eyes, Suguru's bare chest was in front of you, his head resting on top of yours. His snores are louder than usual since he's sick, but you don't mind.

You move your body a bit to make your way out of his bed to get ready for work. Of course, he caught on to what you're doing.

"You have sick time, right?" Suguru yawned.

"Why are you asking me such a question?" You turn on your heel.

"Call outttt." Suguru drew out the 'out'. When they say men are needy when they're sick, they are not lying.

"Fine. But I have a date tonight, so you'll be without me for a few hours."

"Make it fast." Suguru pulls the covers over his face, presumably falling asleep. You dial your bosses number and let them know you're feeling sick and don't want to give anyone else the same thing.

After you hang up, you walk to the bathroom you and Suguru share. Thankfully, there are two sinks. You start brushing your teeth while simultaneously cleaning the counter.

"Mmmmm." You hear Suguru groan from his room.

You make your way to his room, leaning on his doorframe. "Yes, my sick princess?"

"Feel my head." He flips over on his back. You press the back of your hand to his forehead.

"Definitely less warm than yesterday, so your fever is going down."

"Must've been the soup."

You turn on the TV and play whatever trashy reality tv show that is on at the moment. Suguru coughs, which leads to a groan because he's over being sick.

"Let me get you some of the soup from yesterday." You get up from the bed. Suguru's eyes followed you, stuck on your figure. He watched as your ass moved in your shorts, making him wish he wasn't sick so he could grab you and kiss you as hard as he wanted to.

Bzzzzz.

Choso: Hey, are we still on for tonight? Shoko said you didn't show up to work.

You: Yes, we're still on. I'll meet you there at 8 :)

Choso: :)

You look to your left and see Suguru sleeping soundly, his stuffy nose amplifying his snores. He looks like an angel, honestly. You take your hand and caress his face gently without a second thought. His eyes fluttered open, revealing your favorite eyes.

"Come back soon." Suguru almost whispered, bringing your hand to his mouth. He kissed each of your fingers gently before falling back asleep.

You felt conflicted. You have Suguru, your best friend, who wants to try something with you. Then you have Choso, the sweetest man, who is very happy to get to know you.

Either way you're hurting someone.

You change into your favorite pair of curve hugging jeans and a sweater, pairing them with your white platform converse. Choso was taking you to a Poetry night at a local lounge, so very lowkey.

When you locked the door to your apartment, you felt guilty for leaving Suguru. You weren't sure if it was because he's sick and you want to take care of him, or because you feel like you owe him your loyalty.

Well, you don't. Not yet at least.

When you arrive at the lounge, Choso is wearing a black sweater with black jeans, his hair in his signature buns. He greets you with a kiss on the cheek, gently grabbing your hand.

He leads you into the lounge where someone was already performing a poem. You find a seat on a loveseat couch, Choso following close behind.

Choso's body was close to yours as you watched the poets, sneaking looks and kisses. You couldn't help but think of Suguru. You had butterflies, yes, but nowhere near as many as you did for your best friend.

You turn to look at Choso, who looks completely enamored with you. You fake a smile as best as you can and press your lips to his. Is it wrong to be kissing a man you don't want to be with?

Maybe.

But that's a conversation for another time and another place.

"I had fun tonight." You say as you leave the lounge. "I'm feeling kind of sick, so I'm gonna head home." Your eyes meet Choso's.

"Me too." He smiles, not wanting to press any further. "I mean me too, I had fun. Not that I feel sick." He chuckled.

"I'll text you when I get home. Actually this time." You hug Choso, feeling his muscles through his sweater. He kissed your forehead as you separated, leaving you feeling worse about your feelings.

When you get home, it's 10:15. Suguru was most definitely awake.

Upon entering your apartment, you see Suguru standing in the kitchen, pouring himself a water. He's shirtless and his hair is all the way down, cascading down his back muscles.

"Someone is feeling better." You set your purse down.

"I am actually." Suguru turns to you and smiles. He looks so much more lively. You've missed him. "So how was your date?"

You look down, sighing. "He's not you, Suguru. That's the problem."

"I'm the problem?" Suguru laughed, setting his cup down on the counter. "Last I checked, I'm not the one that's dating someone else."

"Don't act like we've been in a relationship Sugu. We've both been denying these feelings for some time, and now they're out in the open."

"No one compares to you, princess." Suguru steps closer to you. "I've tried over and over again to replicate the feeling you give me."

You close your eyes and wince at his words, not because they hurt, because you're feeling the exact same.

"If we don't work out, we don't work out." Suguru suggests. "Life is too short to be wondering about the future when you could be enjoying whats right in front of you." Suguru takes another step closer to you, grabbing your hands gently. You looked up into his eyes, getting lost in them.

"I don't want to hurt anyone." You look down, thinking of Choso.

"Hey, he will understand." Suguru brought your eyes back to his, grabbing your chin with his thumb and index finger.

"We have to take it slow, ok?"

"How slow are we talking?"

"We can't have sex yet."

Suguru chuckled and looked back at you. "That's not the only thing on my mind. It will be mind blowing when it happens, but just having you already feels like an orgasm."

You smile as Suguru's arms wrap around your waist, lifting you up from the floor. Your legs intertwine around his waist, running a hand through his hair.

"We've never kissed." You smile, refusing to make the first move.

"That we haven't." Suguru's voice was quiet, almost seductive. His eyes began to close and you followed, feeling his plush lips finally mend with yours. The electricity you felt almost made your heart fall out of your throat. Suguru's large hands held onto your ass, opening his mouth more so your tongue can enter.

You slip your tongue in his mouth, to which he sucks on it gently in return. You moan quiety, pushing yourself off of him from his chest. "We can't go slow if you do that." You press your forehead to his.

"Baby, I can make you cum with just my lips."

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Brigerton Round-Up

Ok, so I have read all of the Bridgerton books I care to at this point, but my reviews are spread across this blog and possibly like a year of time??? So I thought it would be fun to bring them all together in a single post!

All of these reviews were written between S2 and S3 of Netflix's Bridgerton Series, so bear that in mind when you're wondering why I haven't talked about all the seasons!

Content warning for some misogyny and discussion of sexual assault.

Also...THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE.

The Viscount Who Loved Me

There comes a point where a girl can't deny she has engaged in a fandom. It probably is well before you start writing fic (you can find The Polin Fic on Ao3), but y'know, here we are. Let's talk Bridgerton.

Ok, couple things right off the top.

We are not dealing with either The Duke and I or S1 of Bridgerton on Netflix. We are not dealing with *THAT* scene and it's complete disregard for consent. Find that somewhere else on the internet, it's a big place.

We are literally only talking about The Viscount Who Loved Me and Romancing Mr. Bridgerton. They're the only books I've read, and at this point they're the only books in this series I care to read. That means we'll also chat about S2 of Netflix's Bridgerton.

Ok, with the ground rules established, let's jump on in!

I think the reasonable place to start here is with Kate. I watched Bridgerton the Netflix series before reading The Viscount Who Loved Me, and Kates Sheffield and Sharma are objectively not the same woman. They wouldn't even LIKE each other. Kate Sharma is self-assured, confident, driven, and quite frankly, a force of nature when she wants to be. Kate Sharma understands that not only is she a grown ass woman but also that if she does not get in gear and go for her goals, they ain't happening. You guys, I freaking love Kate Sharma.

By contrast, Kate Sheffield is a blond, blue-eyed, infantilized debutante with some serious unresolved PTSD. I was not at all sorry to see that Shondaland did away with THAT library scene and THAT bee sting scene. I think that the show did both of them way better, and I will never be mad when an adaptation takes an adult female character and lets her ACT like an adult. I also appreciated the shift from creepy Anthony trying to *checks notes* suck the venom out of the bee sting to a full-blown panic attack. It subverted a highly gendered trope and put both Kate and Anthony on a much more even and human footing. It was also--and I cannot stress this enough--so much LESS CREEPY than the book scene. Anthony describing what he was doing in detail while the reader is told but not shown that he's panicky left several different flavors of bad taste in my mouth. Kate Sharma showing actual dimensionality in her strength in the show in this scene as Anthony goes fully nonverbal is objectively a stronger scene that does far more to develop the characters.

Generally speaking, Anthony Bridgerton is Anthony Bridgerton in both the show and the book, with maybe some of the high-and-mighty, self-righteous edges sanded off for the show. He's a regency era Viscount, there's not a whole lot you can do with him in adaptation. Show Anthony is my preference because he has some of the high-handedness sanded off, and because Jonathan Bailey is extremely nice to look at. I don't even hate the S1 (*gasp* she mentioned Bruno!) sideburns and hair, they had a very 1995 Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy vibe that I was willing to lean into. I honestly don't have a whole lot else to say about Anthony, so let's move on and hope that maybe we get an S3 release date before I get to the end of this post. (Spoiler Alert: We did not)

An Offer From a Gentleman

Dearest Gentle Reader, I suppose if you play with fire, you do eventually get burned. This Author has finally been burned by a Bridgerton novel. --Lady Bookshelf's Society Papers, 7 June 2023

So uhh...yeah. We gotta talk about Benedict Bridgerton. And we gotta talk about what the actual hell happened between book and Netflix series, because I found the series before the book, and even knowing that the characterizations were different, this book was JARRINGLY different, and not gonna lie, I absolutely cannot stand book Benedict and I fully do not understand the Benophie appeal. Now that I've finished painting a target on my back, let's talk An Offer from a Gentleman.

Ok y'all, I have recipts for this one, because book Benedict was basically a "too aloof and edgelordy to give a damn" and he really, REALLY needed to stop telling Sophie she was stupid or thinking too much. He also was hideously high-handed about blackmailing, coercing, and passive aggressively manipulating Sophie into doing the closest possible thing he can make happen to what he wants. He can't hear the word "no." His art seems somehow less important to him than the bowl of rocks at the cottage.

Show Benedict is a sweetheart artist with a wicked sense of humor and a real damn good sense for his siblings' moods and needs. I like show Benedict. I was prepared to yeet book Benedict off a cliff.

So real quick before this descends into incoherent screeching, I just need to point out the section where Sophie leaves the Cavendar's house during a party that is SUPER not safe for her. The "male lead saves the female lead from getting raped" is not my favorite trope in the world, but I'm not here to shame anyone for rescue fantasies. What I am here to do is explainin why Benedict is the WORST POSSIBLE EXAMPLE of this trope. I'm just gonna go ahead and put the passage up here, for ease. This is Benedict's reaction to seeing Sophie is an objectively scary situation:

Cavender was standing under a stately old elm with two other gentlemen. They appeared to be having a bit of fun with a housemaid, pushing her back and forth between them. Benedict Groaned. He was too far away to determine whether the housemaid was enjoying their attentions, and if she was not, then he was going to have to save her, which was not how he'd planned to spend his evening. He'd never been particularly enamored of playing the hero, but he had far too many younger sisters--four, to be precise--to ignore any female in distress.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS REACTION??? What is this "ugh, I guess I HAVE to step in, what a pain in the ass FOR ME" nonsense??? This is not allyship, this isn't even--as Benedict tepidly says--"having sisters," this is just "ugh, I guess I have to be a hero, how annoying."

If you're going to do the rescue trope, it kind of works better if your leading man gives a rat's ass. Like, give him a strong position on rape being bad. Give him a motivation. Give him something other than an eye roll and vague irritation that he has to do the thing! He's not even particularly T-ed off with the guys in this situation, it's just...and event. That he has to deal with. Like going to the DMV or something.

Can we PLEASE not do this. This is gross, it is bare minimum, and frankly? It's the least interesting version of this trope. I wasn't a Twilight girl, but the scene where Edward rescues Bella from implied gang rape was done better than this moist tissue of a scene purely because HE GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT BELLA.

Bare freaking minimum, your romantic leads have to have strong feelings for each other. Those feelings can be positive or negative, depending on whether or not you're doing enemies to lovers, but the feelings have to EXIST. And when you're dealing with limited third omninscient narration, the character in who's head you are should probably have stronger emotions than *eye roll* to keep it interesting for the reader!! We know Sophie is already in love with Benedict at this point in the novel, but we aren't in Sophie's HEAD just now.

I'm basically out of coherent things to say about this book, so let's just go over key examples of other things in this book that made me rage. It's not every instance, but it's a selection of demonstrative examples.

Let's check the receipts:

She shot him an arch look. "Horse races are almost always silly." "Spoken just like a woman," he muttered.

And just WHAT is wrong with speaking like a woman, Benedict??? Is it maybe because you think they're somehow LESSER than men???

"Sophie," he said, "I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears. Stop taxing your brain with useless mathematical computations and do as I asked."

TAXING HER BRAIN, BENEDICT??? Let the woman think for her own damn self for five seconds!

"His chin jutted out belligerently. "You're not supposed to be thinking. That's the point of of it."

LET. HER. THINK. FOR. HER. OWN. DAMN. SELF.

"You bloody fool," he swore. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is in the world for a woman alone?" "Er, yes," she managed. "Actually I do. If he heard her, he gave no indication, just went on about "men who take advantage" and "helpless women" and "fates worse than death." [...] About halfway through his tirade, she lost all ability to focus on his words. She just kept watching his mouth and hearing the tone of his voice, all the while trying to comprehend the fact that he seemed remarkably concerned for her welfare... "Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?" Benedict demanded.

YOU SPENT THE WHOLE BOOK TELLING HER NOT TO THINK AND NOW YOU'RE MANSPLAINING CLASS TO HER??? SERIOUSLY???

"Don't you ever call me stupid," she hissed. " Benedict blinked, trying to get his eyesight back to the point where he only saw one of her. "I wasn't--" "Yes you were," she replied in a low, angry voice."

Oh, yes, call her stupid. That's a GREAT way to get in any woman's skirts, Benedict. (Please excuse me while I scream incoherently into a pillow in rage.) Punch him again, Sophie.

"I didn't save you from Cavender just to let you squander your life away." "That isn't your choice to make." She had a point there, but he wasn't inclined to give it to her. "Perhaps," he allowed, "but I'm going to make it, anyway."

Wow, so you do ONE DECENT THING and suddenly you own her life??? PUNCH HIM AGAIN, SOPHIE. And no, gentlemen, going "oh shit, I am actually being a huge dick here" and then DOING THE THING ANYWAY does not earn you any points.

"I didn't want--" "You don't know what you want," he cut in. It was a cruel statement, condescending in the extreme, but he was beyond caring. She'd wounded him in a way he hadn't even known was possible, with a power he'd never dreamed she possessed.

ACTUALLY SHE DOES KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, BENEDICT, BECAUSE SHE IS A HUMAN PERSON WITH AGENCY!!!!!! AND SHE HAS SAID NO TO YOU LIKE FIFTEEN TIMES!!! Dear god, someone throw this man back in the lake and hold his head under.

"I didn't think," she whispered, more to herself than to him. "I know." He smiled. "I know. I hate it when you think. It always ends badly for me."

FOR FUCKS SAKE-- *screams in impotent rage while channeling Beatrice's "would eat his heart in the marketplace" vibes*

So...I actually don't recommend this book. Don't read this one. Just enjoy show Benedict and we can all collectively pretend that the book didn't happen.

Romancing Mr. Bridgerton

I actually thoroughly enjoyed the fluffy confection that is Romancing Mr. Bridgerton, which makes it much harder to talk about than The Viscount Who Loved Me. I suppose the biggest difference between the book and what the show is setting up for Polin is in the stakes. The book stakes are arguably extremely low; the consequences for being Lady Whistledown in the book are essentially a round of polite applause and some deep-seated rage that Cressida freaking Cowper would dare to take credit for Penelope's work. And frankly, I was 100% with Penelope on that one. The show cannot possibly roll with that ending (or if they do, they're going to disappoint everyone) because Penelope has pissed off a reigning monarch, and that has, historically, gone poorly. So I think the show is setting up to give Colin real, concrete reasons to be pissed as hell when it comes out that Penelope is Whistledown, and to actually make the pair work for their romance. And for all I enjoyed the fluff in the book, I am a sucker for multiple layers of increasingly high stakes and I hope the show really goes ham on the payoff for this setup. Frankly, I want Colin to be absolutely furious with Penelope and still ready to sneak her out of England if the Queen decides that Lady Whistledown is too dangerous to leave at liberty.

In terms of how Colin himself changes in the show, I'm fairly cool with the "I am a bottomless pit where is the food" aspect of Colin's character being quietly left behind. I think we can do more interesting things with our male characters than that. However, like many of the people who have both read the book and kept up with the show, I am WORRIED about how much Colin's writing has been downplayed. Yes, he and Penelope have a correspondence, and clearly they mean a lot to each other, but writing letters does not necissarily set up Colin's journals and the writing relationship that the two develop in the book. It's so, so wildly uncommon for game to recognize game and form a partnership of equals in skill in regency romance novels, and that was one of the things I loved about Romancing Mr. Bridgerton. I also loved that Colin, not Penelope, was the less experienced newbie of the writing partnership.

Not that the book didn't complicate this issue, because Julia Quinn didn't hesitate for a millisecond to slot Penelope into the historical role of "uncredited, unpaid, and historically unknown editor and 80% of the reason that history remembers the husband who's name is on the cover of the book." And that SUCKS for Penelope.

That takes me really smoothly into the thing that I love most about what Nicola Coughlan brings to Penelope in the show. She has an edge, a little more willingness to take risks, and that really makes me believe that the Penelope of the show could be behind the edgier, sharper, WAY riskier Whistledown. I am excited to see what they do with Polin in S3!

When He Was Wicked

Ok, as a Bridgerton book, When He Was Wicked was UNUSUAL. Given how tightly knit and very much there for each other the Bridgertons are (although I admit, this might be show bias affecting my reading), the fact that Francesca was, for the most part, isolated up in Scotland and very separate from the rest of the family was odd. It really allowed us to see what a Bridgerton-raised person would do when their back was to the wall and they were more or less alone.

Add to that the fact that most of this book is Francesca's second season and second love and that she gets to have actual EXPERIENCE and CONFIDENCE and not be your bog standard romance ingenue meant that this was a refreshing change of pace. I also would be absolutely remiss to point out that this novel went unapologetic on the fact that Francesca knows a little something about sex and her own body and that she has zero doubt that her needs, wants, and pleasure are important and that she can (and does) ask for what she wants with Michael. That's something that contemporary 2023 still really struggles with, so props to Julia Quinn for making it clear that Francesca can, should and DOES have a voice that matters during sex.

I also want to say that while Francesca wanting to be a mother so badly that she goes for a second season often gets side-eyed or openly pooh-poohed for being anti-feminist, breeding kinky, or somehow lesser, I would say that while the "All I want in the world is to be a mother" is complicated by the regency setting and the gender roles and expectations imposed on women whether they wanted them or not, Francesca is a widow for most of this novel, and widows historically had more (not complete, this isn't perfect) choice about their remarriage, and had Francesca not wanted to, she didn't have to remarry. So I'm willing to give this book the benefit of the doubt that Francesca actually DOES want to be a mother, actually DOES want children, and making the choice to remarry to have kids is an active, intentional choice on her part. Motherhood isn't for everyone, and that's 100% fine. But we shouldn't shame people who do want it, and I think a generous read of this book puts Francesca in that camp without some of the weird vibes and setting complications that you get with Daphne.

Again, none of this is wholly unproblematic, and there are arguments to be made that social conditioning overrode any choice Francesca could make. However, that's a deeply cynical read of a fun, fluffy romance novel, and I'm not here to shame people who can get pregnant for their reproductive choices, whatever those may be.

Michael is, in the grand tradition of non-Bridgerton love interests, fairly bland. His whole thing is being the merry rake, which, like, whatever. That's fine. I'm not like, terribly enamored of his full-on BAILING on Francesca for like three years after her first husband unceremoniously drops dead. I'm also not super enamored of his whole "did I secretly cause my cousin's death because I was coveting his wife and now I can never be with Francesca because I don't deserve her for killing my cousin" schtick, but this is Bridgerton so the absurd drama is pretty par for the course.

The reason to read this book really is Francesca, and Francesca finding her feet as a more mature heroine than we typically see in these books. I was very very much here for Francesca, and I hope that if the show gets this far, we really do get to see how Frannie is different from Daphne, Eloise, Penelope, and Hyacinth.

It's In His Kiss

This is now the fifth Bridgerton book I've read, and I actually have to say that while it's not my favorite of the series, it was a nice change of pace. Hyacinth and Gareth feel like they spend more time together as a couple really getting to know one another, which honestly was not really the vibe of previous couples. Anthony was too wrapped up in waiting to die, Benedict was too busy being shitty Prince Eric and generally devaluing all women everywhere, and Francesca and Colin were working through dead spouse trauma and a variation on professional jealousy, respectively. Hyacinth and Gareth just like each other, and Gareth was refreshingly brief in his daddy issues in favor of seducing Hyacinth and realizing that whoops, he actually meant it. So frankly, Gareth and Hyacinth feel more like they are actually good friends. And as a Polin Stan, that is a little heartbreaking to say, since Polin was supposed to be the friends to lovers storyline and as far as the books go, I actually think Hyacinth and Gareth feel more friends to lovers. Polin is more she fell first, he fell harder, which is a great trope but it's not really friends to lovers.

I swear I'm not going to be low-key disappointed about Polin for this whole post though, because in addition to Hyacinth being genuinely good friends with Gareth, we get her friendship with Lady Danbury. And THAT friendship is an absolute delight, although Jukia Quinn might be flying just a TAD close to the sun by spoofing bad romance books that we read to mock in her series of borderline read-to-mock romance books. This is very akin to my feelings about Penelope getting weak-kneed over Colin's writing talent because he described the temperature of the Agean Sea as half-hour old bathwater. Like, I get what you were going for emotionally, but on a very realistic level, you fell flat on your face and your skirt rode all the way up so you flashed your panties at people by accident, and not in a kinky way. Not that that makes Hyacinth and Lady D's dynamics any less wonderful, it's just one of those "my eyebrows were raised while I was smiling" things. We cannot help but love Lady Danbury.

I also just want to call out the objectively hilarious scene where Gareth goes to ask Anthony for permission to marry Hyacinth and Anthony completely blows the tone with his combination "YES ALL MY SISTERS ARE MARRIED OFF I AM KING" and "hurt her and I won't kill you, I will make your long life a living hell" reactions. I enjoyed this Anthony.

Now, having noted what I enjoyed about this book, it wouldn't be a Bridgerton novel if there weren't also a couple of things that I feel the need to call out as WILDLY WTAF. We're gonna go ahead and start with the prologue, because we need to take a minute and ask ourselves why the actual hell the girl Lord St. Clair was trying to force Gareth to marry had to have a mental disability, and why the hell we needed Lord St. Clair's "kick the dog" moment to be telling his son to rape a vulnerable woman. And that's before we even get into the issues with the rampant asexual objectification and infantilization of disabled people, and how that plays into wildly ableist tropes throughout literature. And the worst part is, this adds literally nothing to the story. We do not even see this character on the page, she is just briefly mentioned twice in the novel and is literally not even an obstacle. This didn't have to be casually thrown in and frankly I saw ten different shades of red when I was reading it. Honestly, it's one of hose thoughtlessly, pointlessly ableist things that causes real harm in the world and I am not here for it.

The other WTAF thing about this book is the fact that Gareth plans to "ruin" Hyacinth. I'm not gonna go do ar as to say there are consent issues here, because to say that would be to wildly and willfully misrepresent their relationship and I'm not going to do that. But I'm not wild about the perpetuation of the idea of virginity as some magical thing that can be taken from a woman and tbat devalues her. And yes, I know, it's it's regency romance. But I can understand scenes-a-faire and still not like it. Which I do not, because it says more about the level to which Gareth initially values Hyacinth than anything else, and you shouldn't have to devalue your SO to feel worthy of them. That is some toxic bullshit, do not do it.

Overall, though, this book was pretty cute and it was heisty, and I am a bit of a sucker for a good heist. Insofar as I recommend any Bridgerton novel, this one was pretty fun.

On The Way To The Wedding

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a hot romantic regency male lead must be in want of a more intelligent heroine. But even given that, Gregory flippin' Bridgerton strains credibility about how obtuse he is throughout this book. Anthony might have been lying to himself and deeply traumatized, Benedict might have been a chauvinist dickhead, and Colin might have been a golden retriever, but none of them were so vacuously vague as Gregory managed to be. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy this book; there were chunks of it I found thoroughly amusing. So let's talk On the Way to the Wedding.

I guess we might as well start with Gregory, because holy cow there was no critical thought in this man's head. He literally did not hear a thing Lucy said to him the night before her wedding to Haselby, because AS COLIN POINTED OUT while he and Gregory were *checks notes* SITTING IN A TREE SPYING ON LUCY'S HOUSE, she did not actually ever at any point say that she wasn't going to marry Haselby, she just made bland statements and let Gregory hear what he wanted to. Like, Greg. Sweetie, honey, friend, she did not explicitly say she was calling off the wedding, and you KNOW she would have if she really intended to. You were thinking with the wrong head, my dude, and frankly it's on your own dang head for being so shocked the next morning.

But on top of having cloth ears when it comes to hearing "no," Gregory managed to talk himself into being in love with Hermione and out of being in live with Lucy. And this is AFTER separate sit downs with Anthony, Kate, and Violet that collectively tell the reader (and should have told Gregory, except he has cotton wool instead of a brain inside his skull) that Gregory has exactly zero connection with reality, no drive or ambition, and has had so much handed to him in life that he won't extend effort to get something that isn't handed to him. Quite literally, my reaction was, "Aww, Lucy gets the second-worst brother. She and Sophie should get together and start a support group." So Gregory and Benedict are super not my favorite Bridgerton Brothers.

One thing about Gregory that was well set up and paid off and used fairly humorously throughout though, is his complete inability to hit anything he aims at with a firearm. I was impressed that he was not toxically masculine about that, and the fact that he nonfatally shot Uncle Richard at the end was well executed, and Lucy telling her Uncle that he is lucky Gregory can't aim for shit actually got a laugh from me. It was very good. AND it established that all four Bridgerton girls can shoot as well, so at some point I want a pall mall game settled via target shooting. My bet is that Eloise thinks she's the best shot, Francesca actually is, Hyacinth does trick shots just to piss off Eloise, and Daphne is scarily efficient as a markswoman.

However, what really kept this book interesting were Lucy and the CW drama-esque plot, because I did not see "oopsie poopsie, did a treason, and now my neice has to marry my blackmailer's gay son" coming in the Bridgertonverse, but here we are, I guess.

Lucy falls into line with Penelope and Sophie in terms of women who are head and shoulders more competent than the Bridgerton man they married, although admittedly Lucy has less personality than either Penelope or Sophie. Lucy is a people manager and pleaser, and she is extremely organized. She also has some excellent one-liners and is more than smart enough to wrap Gregory around her little finger when she needs to.

Unfortunately, she couldn't talk Gregory's stubborn streak out of tying her to a water closet (seriously, what is this, a regency Criminal Minds episode???), which is how we get the big reveal that it's her Uncle, not her father, who committed treason. It's also how we somehow end up with Uncle Richard holding a gun to Sophie in a random bedroom before her marriage to Haselby was consummated, which... Richard. Honey. What was the plan here??? You needed that girl legally and permanently married before Davenport gave up the blackmail. Why are you holding a gun on her right now??? What the hell was the way out of this room of you hadn't been interrupted by the husband squad and their two guns? Weird time for a power trip, is all I can say. You might as well have gotten caught monologuing for all the sense this scene setup made.

And Gregory once again proves that he is a COMPLETE IMBECILE because if you spend an entire book announcing repeatedly that you can't hit the broad side of a barn, why on God's little green earth do you take the shot at a man holding a gun to your love's head? You're as likely to hit her as him! He got lucky because plot armor, but he wasn't the only man in the room with a gun, Lucy's very angry brother ALSO had one, and he was almost certainly a better shot than Gregory. Nobody is exercising critical thought in this scene, is all I'm saying.

Now, for all my criticisms, if you suspend your disbelief, this whole scene is VERY fun, and in principle I quite enjoyed it. Sometimes you have to meet a book where it's at, and in this case it was at CW-esque dramatic farce. So this book was very fun for what it was.

OOH and before I wrap.up and forget: Hyacinth gets to be totally furious in this book, and holy cow I wish we got Hyacinth in a decade st some point, because she would have been show Lady Danbury's equal but more spitfire, and I love that so much for all of us.

This is definitely the last Bridgerton book I'm reading because I have no desire to deal with Daphne or Eloise's books. That said though, the books I have read I was largely either pleasantly surprised by or thoroughly entertained, and really you can't ask more of these books than that. Book Benedict still sucks though.

[mixterglacia]

THIS IS THE PART WHERE LOGAN BITCHES ABOUT CARTOONS

WARNING: VIVZIEPOP CRITICAL, STOLITZ CRITICAL

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I don't like this show, and I don't pretend to. Full transparency, I'm meaner in this then any before now. This is also slightly more disjointed than normal because I was directly reacting to the episode it's self.

"I swore I wouldn't dwell on the divorce." MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BE RUSHING THESE THINGS BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE HE'S WAITED TWO DAYS. EVEN IF IT'S BEEN MONTHS IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT.

"I'll hear him and not the voice that says I'm not enough" Oh boo hoo bitch. You've seriously done nothing to convince me to feel bad for this stupid fucking asshole. His writing is full of holes and contradictions. It makes him feel like two different people.

"I'll set us free!" Are you quite sure that means what you think it means you stupid fucking ass.

Framed adoption certificate is a nice touch. Very cute.

Blitz is immediately not coming off how they want. I think they're -trying- to imply he has some deeply buried feelings too, but it comes off as "i didn't want this and i still don't want this, why can't it just be normal hookup shit."

"I'll die alone if this goes wrong!!" You have the emotional depth of a teaspoon and are about as interesting as one. Boo fucking hoo. BAD.

NGL this really made their wealth difference hit home. Why the flying fuck is blitz still bordering on abject poverty dude? You should be able to help him advertise send something IDK man, if you really gave a shit, why aren't you trying to actually help him in a genuine way? I'm sure he wouldn't say no if you slipped a hundred bucks or so into the book every so often. I fucking hate it here.

"Would he want me if he was free?" No. Next question. (You've done very little if anything to prove Blitz actually wants strings attached in this.)

"If he's only here as a prisoner what kind of monster does that make me?" Little late to have this realization but I'll take it. Also can we seriously stop downplaying how awful this is for BLITZ to go through? Stolas is severely over represented in Blitz's own fucking show. Why is Blitz so underdeveloped??? Why, dude? The episodes that mainly focus on him are pretty okay, but once Stolas shows up it's all fucking stupid.

If Blitz rejects him (which he should. Look how fucking anxious he is just THINKING about this.) he could lose his entire way of life. No more apartment, probably gonna get Loona taken away. Probably has to resort to prostitution or return to clowning. Stolas just gets to go about his life of luxury.

Why is Blitz's emotional well being such an after thought in this duet? THIS IS NOT STOLAS' SHOW.

"He showed me that I could choose" ...Dude. You have given no weight to swing that line at us. This isn't much of a choice in the grand scheme of things. Stolas and Stella already had the kid. The marriage never had to last. Not from the impression you've given us. He's a toddler deciding he wants chocolate milk instead of regular. We have never been shown he's actually going to lose anything of real value. He's still a prince. He's still got his money. Like are they trying to have him killed, sure but lets be real he's A PRINCE OF HELL. Assassination attempts are like...Tuesday for him.

GOD THIS SONG IS ASS. I will not allow Blitz to be painted as the bad guy here. Fuck Stolas, and fuck the team for trying to make it seem like we should feel bad for him. They both suck. BUT STOLAS IS OBJECTIVELY IN THE WRONG.

Ah yes, The Helluverse special of "let's yeet a stupid ass joke in the middle of plot, completely derailing anything." it has only been a few seconds and it's already going on for too long. Go learn from Bojack or RvB.

...........This cherub bit is throwing your entire lore off. If these idiots are having to do this shit to get by, why are they acting like heaven bound can do whatever they want in Hazbin? If all you meant by that line is the human souls in heaven, you totally screwed up the message there. Your points are murky at best, and you're contradicting yourself at every turn.

...............Are the cherubs mortal now? Like they're flying and glowing but they have to eat???? Huh? I don't think I've ever realized you're showing they eat a lot, but surely you don't actually have to eat as an angel or demon? Surely it's just a choice???? That's genuinely so fucking stupid???? WHY IS THAT EVEN A THING?

WE DON'T NEED FIVE ANTAGONISTS IN A CHARACTER DRIVEN EPISODE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. YOU ARE LITERALLY RUINING YOUR MAIN PUNCH. YOU ARE TAKING AWAY TIME THAT SHOULD BE USED TO ACTUALLY PROVE BLITZ HAS SOME KIND OF FEELINGS FOR STOLAS. BAD.

Honestly the stuff with these five would have been a fun standalone minisode. NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF YOUR SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODES.

Bloody alleyway was a phenomenal cutaway gag. Points.

You really are not making it sound like Blitz likes this at ALL.

"If someone wants to see you less and less? Big red flag." NOT IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, DUH. He's literally a prince of hell in an affair with a """childhood friend""" who was literally PURCHASED for him. The whole thing is a red flag. Not just this!

You are making it exceedingly clear Blitz's just in it because he think's he'll lose the book. I don't give a rats ass about what micro-development you're going for. You take away time needed for showing that Blitz is conflicted on more than one level to do stupid ass tertiary character shit. YOUR CAST IS OVER BLOATED. BAD.

If you wanted me to feel bad for Stolas, maybe don't show that Blitz has an Angel-esque box of sex toys because he thinks he has to impress him. Stolas should have made it very clear AGES ago that he just wants Blitz. If Blitz is this hung up on needing to impress the damned bird, something very VERY wrong is happening in the bedroom.

If you seriously want us to think Blitz has feelings/cares about Stolas (Not that he HAS to), this sex candle shop would have been a perfect place to do it. "Well, he really likes it when I do this-" "This is his favorite colour." "This is his favorite scent." Blitz clearly knows nothing about Stolas, and both of them are to blame. This relationship is never EVER going to work if they know this little about each other when they've been regularly boning for ages. He should know more about what he likes. "What's the mood!?" "I don't know!" Woof. Full stop. This is never going to work in a real scenario. Womp Womp Move on.

HOW DOES BLITZ NOT KNOW HIS MEASUREMENTS. HOW CAN HE NOT JUST HELL-GOOGLE HIS MEASUREMENTS. STOLAS IS A PUBLIC FIGURE IT WOULD BE KNOWN. HE DOESN'T CARE, ERGO WE DON'T CARE. BAD.

Like he seems to MILDLY know what Stolas likes but this should be WAY clearer. Especially if you want us to think Blitz secretly cares too.

Love Fizz's new outfit. Very cute.

Gonna be real, Fizz and Blitz are seriously adorable. Can Ozzie pick him up too and actually show Blitz what being sexually valued is like? Because clearly he pulled it off with Fizz. Because he clearly enjoys sex and it feels like Stolas is just...using him. Not enjoying him. It's gross and SHOULD feel gross, because it FUCKING IS.

This whole bit with the cherubs makes it feel like we aren't supposed to give a damn about the main plot. That it's just a silly background to TERTIARY CHARACTER NONSENSE. BAD.

So far this confrontation is good as far as the pit of dread it opened in my stomach. I still really don't feel bad for Stolas. I feel bad for blitz. Him begging tore my soul out. It's so obvious how bad this power imbalance has gotten. I refuse to entertain these two any longer. This show needs to GROW UP and get over them, leave it here and I will forgive it.

Stolas should have 100% consulted Blitz before OFFICIALLY PUTTING HIM UNDER OZZIE'S JURISDICTION THAT'S NOT OKAY. Even if he leaves him alone, that can absolutely be weaponized.

"Am I not fucking you good enough?" Doesn't come off as him wanting more. Blitz feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the love of the gods stop stringing this POORLY WRITTEN. BADLY RETCONNED. PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT A WELL DONE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP ALONG. BAD. MOVE. THE FUCK. ON.

"I care very deeply and have for a long time" You sure as shit never showed it.

To Those in The Back. ONE GRAND GESTURE DOES NOT FIX A TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP. This is Mr. Peanutbutter with the library thing. This is Not ROMANTIC. This IS EMBARRASSING.

If he really cared, Blitz would not be living in poverty. If he really cared, he'd make an effort to engage beyond sex. IF HE REALLY CARED HE WOULD HAVE DIVORCED HIS WIFE THE PROPER WAY AND NOT TRAUMATIZED HIS FUCKING DAUGHTER OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Stolas is a godsawful woobified piece of shit that doesn't have the decency to acknowledge he's the problem, and when he does, has the fucking AUDACITY to behave like a pathetic child. This I was wrong speech is DOGSHIT and has no punch to it because more than half of the episode was TERTIARY CHARACTER BULLSHIT.

Blitz has EVERY RIGHT to see this as a joke. I immediately burst out laughing because YEAH. WHEN HAVE YOU GIVEN HIM ANY IMPRESSION YOU CARED BEYOND GETTING YOUR FREAK ON?

"Thank you for being here for a little while." Oh boo fucking hoo. Get over yourself. "It's just about sex" BECAUSE YOU NEVER MADE IT ANYTHING ELSE YOU FUCKING BOZO.

I am immediately cheering Blitz on in his retort. He's fucking earned it. You're not going to make me feel bad by making them show up in the room from their childhood. Blitz is completely in the right here.

If Stolas really thought so highly of him, he'd be putting in more of an effort. Stolas treats Blitz the way he treats Octavia. Like they're dolls from his childhood. If he wanted to do right by them, he would. He is FUCKING ROYALTY. There is NO reason he can't put in more effort for the people he supposedly loves. You don't love them. You love the idea of them. You can't accept that they aren't the idea in your head. This isn't love. It's abuse.

Fuck you. Blitz has NOTHING to apologize for.

It's like Stolas doesn't seem to think he's the problem. No shit, of course Blitz isn't going to react the way you thought he would. Why are you just THROWING HIM OUT RATHER THAN TALKING TO HIM? BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO ACTUALLY WORK FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS YOU STUPID ASS OWL. YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE HANDED TO YOU ON A PLATE YOU RICH DUMBASS.

Fuck everyone trying to paint Blitz as the bad guy.

FUCK. YOU.

He's just trying to survive! He has a fucking daughter! A found family! EVERYTHING to lose!

Stolas just gets his fucking feelings hurt. He is the architect of his own undoing. Suck my entire ass. This was easily the worst episode bar none.

The tone was ALL OVER the place, and not in an effective way. The plot moved at a halt and go pace and all the fun bits were BOGGED DOWN by the supposed point of the episode! You can't tell me this shit took all that time, unless you were constantly saying "OOOO YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE COOL/FUNNY?" and shooting your production scheduled in the foot!

The rest of the portraiture being covered up is a very nice touch.

I can't believe you've gotten me to defend BLITZO of all people. But here we are. I guess I'm on his team. (He's an abusive dick, but NO ONE deserves this.)

[arpmemething2]

Scott Pilgrim Vs the World Sentence Starters

Send one for my muse's response. Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"What a perfect asshole."

"If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?"

"I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don't care about any of that stuff. Because I'm in lesbians with you."

"Does that mean we can make out?"

"You're too good for him. RUN."

"He's good right? Sometimes I let him do the wide shots, when I feel like getting blazed back in my Winnie. What can I say? I'm nothing without my stunt team."

"It's amazing what we can do with computers these days."

"You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!"

"Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he."

"He punched the highlights out of her hair!"

"I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face."

"Did you really see a future with this girl?"

"It was a very amicable breakup. We're peaches and gravy now!"

"He punched a hole in the moon for me, so that was pretty cool."

"That's it! You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity."

"I don't know the meaning of the word."

"I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping."

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them."

"I want to have his adopted babies."

"You're the salt of the earth."

"Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises... and a fast entrance into hell!"

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass."

"Kick her in the balls!"

"Ask them what it's like to get his sloppy seconds!"

"You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst."

"Your BF's about to get eff'd in the b!"

"What's the password?"

"I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own."

"Didn't you get my email explaining the situation?"

"You broke the heart that broke mine."

"Ok this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die.""

"He just left."

"You once were a ve-gone, but now you will begone."

"We all have baggage."

"Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost."

"Do that again, and I will end you!"

"Oh? Do you have any embarrassing stories?"

"Don't you talk to me about grammar!"

"Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday."

"Listen, I know I can be hard to be around sometimes. I totally understand if you don't want to hang anymore."

"Ooh, coins!"

"Did you know that the original word for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You would think it was because he looks like a hockey puck, but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase "Paku-Paku" which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people would scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever."

"You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef. Let's do it."

"'Sup? How's life? He seems nice."

"Guess who's drunk!"

"So what you're saying is we're dating?"

"I have to go pee due to boredom."

"Bread makes you fat?"

"Open your eyes. Maybe you'll see!"

"You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!"

"Go ahead. I'm too cool for you anyway."

"Why can't we have our own secret shows?"

"Hey so, can this not be a one-night stand? For one thing I didn't even get any. That was a joke."

"I can not... have... tea."

"Vegans are just better then everyone else."

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Ep. 5

Because I have asks in my inbox about the color coding in Pit Babe even though I don't want to watch it, I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are. I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, I'm going to take off the captions.

How could I forget we were in "Disco Inferno" at the end of the last episode?! Babe looks just as confused as I am that Charles ran his ass out on that track. Where are the professionals? Medics, where u b?

Nice to see everyone wearing blue just in time to prove they did not sabotage the car.

Get your grubby paws off of Barbie, you color faker!

Because I hate Charles, everything he does just comes off very creepy. Like he is trying to have Babe all to himself, like a creepy collector of precious superpower kids, but he only wants Babe.

It's Whiny Winifred in the red Chicago Bulls jacket being annoying per usual.

I don't care what is being said. Whiny Winifred did not sabotage that car. He isn't smart enough for that. But I'm very curious what Kim's superpower is because he is constantly seen as the bigger presence in their arguments. He may be small, but he is mighty.

TRUST NONE OF THEM, ALAN! As usual, Charles conveniently arrives to save the day even though Dean saw Jeffrey messing with the car. This is mine and Dean's villain origin story. (Sonic, get your colors together, kid!)

Alan, don't save him! He don't want to be saved! He can see the future, but couldn't see himself getting caught? Go back to superpower school, Jeffrey! YOU SUCK!

I should be on Jeffrey's side because he is driving a blue vehicle, but he had to put "Home" into the GPS, and I can't trust a boy who doesn't know how to get back to the apartment he shares with Charlie . . . SINCE HE ISN'T GOING THERE! I guess you really are going back to superpower school since you are probably headed to Big Red's house, you LIAR!

Couldn't be bothered to wear blue for two episodes, and now you got nothing but blue, huh, Waymond? Odd choice, sir.

Charles is everywhere at all times. I think Waymond can control emotions, which is why he touches Babe, but I think Charles is mind controlling Babe. He is always in Babe's bubble! Back tf up, bruh.

And we're back to black because you are devoid of emotions since you are controlling everyone else's. I see you and Charles for the superpower manipulators you are.

Kimberly, in a garage full of blues, I only trust your red ass. Kimlock Holmes is gonna solve this case because that's what Kims do!

Are you conflicted now, Jeffrey? In the red and the blue because you know you fucked up and hurt Alan with your lies?

Pete is wearing blue. I trust this pretty man with my life.

I have believed that superpowers come from the hands for two episodes now. Waymond is always touching Babe then Babe looks happier. Charles is always touching Babe, then Babe concedes. So Peter not immediately taking Waymond's hand gives me faith that Peter KNOWS what is up because I think he has superpowers too!

Kenta, you do not have superpowers which is why he treats you like this. Kimberly is gonna love the fuck out of you though. All you have to do is murder your boss.

Did Big Red do this to you? MURDER YOUR SHITTY BOSS! You don't need a superpower for that. I'm rooting for you, hon.

My man has the blue blazer and the blue drink. He is proving his loyalty, and I couldn't love him more. This is how you prove you're trustworthy. You ease into the color. Unlike the Treacherous Trio: Charles, Jeffrey, and Waymond.

Barbie, I need you to pay attention. That hand on your arm is controlling you. Your powers are gone because Charles is fucking with your brain so he can take your racing spot. Don't let that lying bastard touch you!

WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM TOUCH YOU?! I know he is controlling your mind, but you gotta stop letting him touch you. Go two days without his touch and see how much clearer you'll start thing. You took him to you and Way's spot. I'm insulted for Way because this was sacred, yet Charles gets everything he wants . . . *mind control*

Alan, you wear a lot of green, and I love you for that. You are not in this red vs. blue bullshit. You are in a league of your own. I don't think you have superpowers, but if you did, it would be stealing hearts because I'm ready to lay my life down on the line for you, sir. You're perfect.

Sonic REFUSES to get his shit together. WEAR BLUE ALREADY, DAMN! But also, Decanus is not pleased with whatever is happening. Villain Era loading.

This scene would be adorable if Charles wasn't a lying pos.

Decanus, I know you are going to be with Whiny Winifred, so I'm gonna just call this game, and say you lose.

Wait, A SECRET THIRD OPTION?! Kim Possible, is that you player?!

Decanus, you are getting pushed by Alan next week, so I know you done fucked up. Sonic, still be doing wild color things next week too.

Alan, do not suck up to that child. He may be wearing blue in that moment, but his heart is red and not in the good way.

I still ONLY trust Alan, but he is falling for that lying kid, so he might slip in rankings next week, but Kimlock Holmes and Pete the Magic Dragon did no wrong this week, so my trust remains intact for them. I cannot wait until Kenta gets an ounce of love from Kimberly and it turns his entire life around (KILL YOUR SHITTY BOSS!).

Barbie is being mentally and emotionally controlled by Charles and Waymond, so here's hoping this show gets kinky, ties people's hands up, and sees just how powerful they are without the gift of touch.

Couldn't emotionally manipulate Peter, now could you, Waymond?

What is your superpower?

[david-powers-simp]

What the lost boys call you

Whats good my homies, im back with a short lil something for you. This is just a preference I whiped up real quick , of what the boys call you. I am writing all the preferences for the boys separate, because I suck at writing poly! Relationships . So I hope guys enjoy this lil piece I typed up. :)

Paul

Paul is very eccentric, so I feel the nicknames he comes up with are too. Of course we have our basic ones i feel he would use a lot are " babe" or "baby" I think it would roll off his tongue so naturally. " come on baby I wanna show you something", he would say as he links hands with yours and pulls you through the crowded boardwalk. Or " you look smokin' hot today babe" he tells you as he throws his arm around you. I 100% feel in my bones this man would come up with his own nickname for you tho. One that sticks out to me is "honeybun". Now I know at first it sounds a little cringe, but it honestly isn't because Paul gave you this nickname specifically because he thinks your very sweet like honey, and honeybuns happen to be his favorite snack so... ~my mans Paul is calling you a snack~ like just imagine Paul muttering sweet nicknames under his breath while he buries his face into your neck ( which is something he does a lot) he'd mumble things like " m'love you so much baby". Or if your ever caught up doing something and not paying him attention for a hot minute hes gonna ~whine~ " honeybun how much longer till your done, I want to spend time with you." Paul is such a sweet,horny, clingy man and im here for it. He just has so much love and energy to give you he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Marko

Now marko my sweet boy marko, how do I put this in the best way possible. Marko is a little sly bastard. With that being said he's a major flirt like his brother paul, but for some reason I feel marko is slightly more bold than paul. Don't ask why because frankly I don't know why I feel this way I just do. That being said marko calls you " hot stuff", " sexy", "gorgeous" marko is one smooth mf'er. He'll purr those nicknames all the time. " hey sexy thing" he'll say with a lop sided smirk when he greets you. He 100% lightly smacks you ass almost everytime you walk by, he can't help himself. " gorgeous could you come here for a sec?" He asks real sweetly and as your walking over to him he snakes an arm behind you so he can give your ass a nice little pat.He really loves you and your ass, he also adores making you laugh and smile so naturally he cracks a lot of jokes, which leads to him saying things like. " love seeing you smile gorgeous, its mesmerizing" marko is very creative we all know this,so hes great with flattery i feel. " come on hot stuff it'll be fun,and I'll know you'll do so good just trust me, you trust me right sweet thing?" This was marko's response when he was trying to teach you how to ride his motorcycle. You always rode with him on his bike, but he was try to teach you how to drive. He's not gonna lie he thought you sitting on his bike was super hot you were a smoke show. It made him very horny.

Dwayne

Ok so my mans dwayne is a sweetheart he is so soft and sweet but here's the thing, you have to know him a while to find that out. I don't think dwyane is as quiet and closed off as people think. Honestly when you get to know him he's so sweet. He has no problem w with his brothers knowing either,he loves you. They tease him and tell him he's a sap, he pays no mind to it though. A nickname dwayne likes to call you is "dove" its probably one of his favorites he loves it because he says it just suits you, your delicate like a dove to him. " let's go for a ride dove" dwayne says as he hops on his bike and holds his hand out for you to take. " I found these for you sweetheart, I hope you like them." He says as he hands you some shells he found on the beach. Dwayne likes to look for shells and picks up ones he thinks you'll like. He also will make you jewelry with the shells he finds " does that feel good my love" ( gets yalls heads out the gutter) he'd asked as he plays with your hair braiding it then unbraiding it. Dwayne just loves have you close and holding you. He also really enjoys cuddling, he'll often put on some music and dance with you when you guys are alone in the cave. " I had no idea you could dance so well sweetheart." He says with a little chuckle.

David

Oh David my beloved. I think david would come up with classic nicknames like " darling","dollface",or "sugar" but the way he says them- it'll make you swoon. Just the way when he talks to you he keeps eye contact and will smirk or smile at just the right time. He says that he picked those nicknames because they are pretty self explanatory, your are just darling to him he can't help but think that. You also according to him have the face of a doll it's perfect in his eyes and well sugar of course because your just sweet and he like how you blush when he calls you that. David is a flirt, however he doesn't come off as horny as his brother marko and paul. He comes off more subtle. He'll say things like " whatever makes your heart content darling" he often says that when you see something you like or want. David will find a way to get it for you, no questions asked. " have I told you how much i love you today dollface?" That's something he asks when you two are sitting together in his wheelchair, while you might be reading a good book and david will just admire you. " keep the jacket sugar, looks better on you anyway." You recall him saying that on one of you're earlier date with him, he gave you his trench coat and actually let you wear it home. David never heard the end of that from his brothers but he honestly couldn't care less because you looked like a dream in his coat. So needless to say david is some what of a romantic but let him hear you say it because he will deny it till the day he dies- well I guess he's already technically dead so, he will deny it for the rest of eternity.

Alrighty besties that brings this lil preference to a close, I apologize for any mistakes I did not proofread this. So hopefully it doesn't suck too bad, but until next time. I'll catch you later. :)

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SURVIVOR *  assorted dialogue from the tv show, adjust as necessary

now would be the time to do so.

the tribe has spoken.

it grew legs and walked off.

you guys are quitters.

i will always wave my finger in your face.

no, go ahead. you have to say something bad about me.

making love's my sport.

i actually hate kids.

i brought my bag of tricks with me tonight.

you're garbage at rapping. you can't rap. you have no bars.

you mumbled "here we go again."

is there any way i could have your jacket?

last time i was mean. this time, i'm meaner.

i don't need a souvenir, so.

don't get booty blinded.

when it comes down to it, we don't mix. we're like chicken parm and tuna fish.

you need to get in the ocean and wash your ass.

i can get loud too! what the fuck!

i ain't finished playing just yet.

do you belong out here?

my scenario isn't really much different than yours.

i don't have a shitty apartment.

i'm against you.

you understand that better?

not to split hairs, but that's a very big difference.

i'd take my clothes off for chocolate and peanut butter.

i say, stick to the plan.

it's kinda like why elephants can't run up trees.

i ate fifty-eight chicken nuggets in five minutes.

it's that kind of cocky attitude that makes people really hate your guts.

i want to throw up.

i love seeing people cry when you crush their dreams.

my grandmother is sitting at home, watching jerry springer right now.

i'm sorry. i don't talk llama.

i don't wanna be that person. i'm tired of being hated by everybody.

i'll wear a tiara. a man tiara. do they make those?

i'm just trying to explain my side so it doesn't look like i was the mastermind behind it.

i don't think you stand a chance.

you don't deserve it because you suck at life.

we're gonna do something a little different.

it doesn't really surprise me.

you're the schemer here. i'm on to you.

i don't think you're smart enough to do it.

you have made my life hell from day one.

it's a fucking stick!

he's a snake and he lies, but he also tells the truth too.

i was watching treasure island.

i'm confused. what are you laughing at?

honestly... i'm in awe.

i'm the biggest bitch on the planet.

i need somebody who can pee on my hand.

i'll lie. i don't care. i'll make up a good lie.

choose a number between one and ten.

do you know what a reuben sandwich is, [name]?

i may be a lot of things, but i ain't no hershey bar.

you're a very openly arrogant, pompous human being.

your inability to admit your failures without going into a whiny speech makes you a bit of a loser.

you lied to me.

what goes around comes around.

i can't wait to meet this guy.

he's a stupid ass.

stupid people. let me just say that again - stupid people.

did you get the letter?

i hope you guys all get bit by a freaking crocodile.

i'm not a very openly nice person.

i was your friend at the beginning of this.

i just think it's an interesting comment, coming from you.

is that part of the problem?

i will explain this to you.

i'm gonna burn his hat.

are you with me or against me?