#that's something i'm going to think more about and flesh out.

[alexhasalotofthoughts]

Okay it's been long enough since TIT that I can share my thoughts with a clear head. I literally slept the whole of yesterday because I was so tired (thank you, London).

Seeing Dan and Phil was a really big deal for me—as I'm sure it is for most fans. I've been a fan of DnP since primary school and now I'm nearing the end of secondary school and the start of uni so this feels like a very big full circle moment.

As cringe and stereotypical as it is, DnP videos have always been there when I needed them. When I was having a bad day at school, or struggling to come to terms with my sexuality/gender, there were Dan and Phil, ready to put a smile on my face. Dan's coming out video was released the same year I started being bullied for my sexuality and seeing someone I looked up to as much as him be so honest and open really helped me to feel less alone. I rewatch that video a lot. I will always be grateful for that.

I've worn my Interactive Introverts bracelet everyday since I brought it with the DVD (my mum would not let me see them live at the time as I was "too young" lol) so Dan and Phil, in some way, have been there for every big and small moment in my life. They were technically there when I got an offer from the uni I want to go to. I literally wore a Dan and Phil shirt to my autism assessment. They were mentioned in my autism assessment report (though I am not the person who said that for the confessions part of the show, that was someone else. I am not trying to steal their thunder lol). I can't even begin to express what a big part of my life their videos have been.

As I'm sure has been mentioned many times by now, my show was filmed so I might even end up on YouTube or a DVD (PLEASE DAN AND PHIL, KEEP PHYSICAL MEDIA ALIVE) or something, though I doubt that because I was in the royal circle. Also a drunk girl hung if the balcony and heckled for most of the show. I think even ended up getting kicked out. I saw somewhere on twitter that Phil asked for her to be kicked or mentioned to staff that she was too loud but I have no idea how true that is as I was on the opposite side of the circle to her and I have never and probably will never speak to Phil to confirm this.

Other than that, though, the show was absolutely brilliant!

Genuinely! It was so funny and it was absolutely lovely being in a room of people who have the same interests as me; I literally saw a "Be More Chill" "Boyf" bag, "Heathers" tracksuit bottoms, a FNAF Bonnie keychain and a Doctor Who badge all in the space of 5 minutes of one another. My people. Someone even complimented my hat, though I find London so overwhelming that I forgot to respond properly lol (sorry hat person, you were very nice! I liked your whiskers!).

Before the show, they played "Hot To Go" by Chappell Roan, and the whole theatre sang and danced along, which was absolutely lovely!

I was laughing and cheering for about 2 hours straight, so I'd say it was money well spent, though my mum literally fell asleep during the first act so I don't know if she'd agree.

One thing I will say: seeing sister Daniel in the flesh is literally a HOLY experience—I am so... Gay? Straight? Bisexual?? I'm not sure which word go use in this situation but Daniel was hot, so who cares?

To conclude this overly long blog post no-one will read, it was fun and I feel like 12 year old me would look at me now and smile. I saw Dan and Phil live. I got an offer from the uni I wanted to study film! I write!! I have friends who care about me!! I'm not ashamed to like the things I like!! God, they would be so proud of me. And I am proud of them.

TIT pics below ;)

(That last pic was taken by my mum, hence why I look so awkward. I was happy, I swear.)

Thank you very much if you read this! I really do go on a lot but also this is my blog and I suppose that means I can go on as much as I want.

[demaparbat-hp]

⭐

For better or worse, I'm rather obsessive over wording. I love to include little details and clues that tend to go over everyone's heads. Most of them are only there for my own devilish enjoyment!

Now, I'd like to talk about three specific moments from my Zuko-centric fic For the Spirits (read here!). Two of them are from chapter V, while the last one is a bit more recent, from chapter VIII.

Both lines include ridiculously subtle and obscure subtext that I'm not sure I'll get the chance to explore fully in the fic. So I'm using this excuse to talk about them!

Spoilers ahead!

Chapter V: There Was Sun

Read here.

He was left in silence, the thousands of eyes that lived in his bedroom standing watch over him. He laid down right there, ear pressed to the floor, his back to the door, and clutched his mother's anklet to his chest until the morning came.

Zuko was awoken by the ghost of a caress on his left cheek and the echo of a voice that told stories of dragons and spirits and love.

No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.

Ursa dies and becomes a ghost in this scene—it's not really ambiguous, is it? I always knew Ursa was going to die to protect Zuko in this AU. That scene of Zuko staying behind to spy on Azulon’s edict—instead of running away as he did in canon—was actually what got this whole AU started!

It's a matter of seemingly insignificant divergences that just pile up until the consequences are so massive they impact the rest of the story.

In For the Spirits, Zuko directly hears Azulon’s order to kill him, so he stays awake all night in fear. When Ursa comes to say goodbye, she's confronted with a fully awake child she tries to calm down. It slows her down. It gets her caught. It gets her killed. And Zuko listens as it happens.

The scene I quoted is Ursa's final goodbye, after her death... But there's something else. One tiny, absolutely inconsequential detail that doesn't impact the story itself but I can't help but obsess over anyway.

Did you notice?

Zuko was awoken by the ghost of a caress on his left cheek...

(Some spirits don't know.)

(Others know too much.)

.

Agni was a beautiful being forever in repentance of some forgotten sin. Forever submitted to the Fire.

Zuko insisted on being alone the first time his bandages were removed.

The mirror was old and cracked, but did its job well, much like everything else on the Wani. Zuko sighed, hands bracing the sink before him in something akin to despair. He breathed in once, twice, before opening his eyes and facing the monster in the mirror.

The first time Zuko saw his scar, he laughed.

It was fitting, he thought, to bear the mark of the flames burning the flesh of a God.

It's Lore Time!

It shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm a sucker for narrative foils. Having a character be Touched (blessed, cursed, all the same) by a godlike spirit is just about the best excuse possible to chuck in as many parallels as one can think of.

That being said, I'm curious. Did you catch it at first read?

The fact that, while Zuko bears a scar from fire, Agni's face is forever burning.

(The first pic isn't supposed to be Agni, but rather Nightmare Zuko from my Perfect Prince comic. You get the idea, though.)

There's something about the imagery of it all, as well as the metaphor expressed masterfully in Zuko himself. Fire is all about the dichotomy. It's about savagery and control. Energy and burn. Gentleness and all-consuming rage. Fire is life. Fire is destruction.

A beautiful face forever burning, forever scarred.

Two halves of the same whole. All things the same.

.

Chapter VIII: Make You Stay

Read here.

In chapter II, Ming confessed that she had been one of the Royal Guards assigned to the Agni Kai arena when Zuko was burned. She helped General Iroh get him out of that place and heal him, given that medical attention was prohibited by the Fire Lord. Ming has stayed by Zuko's side ever since, but the Agni Kai still haunts her.

“I was nineteen!” she yelled, slapping the table. “I was nineteen and all I could smell was burnt flesh! That fucking scent still comes back every time I see him. It broke me and it wasn't even me! I wasn't the one who—I wasn't—I was nineteen and I wasn't ready!

When Yoi tells her in chapter VIII that Zuko is planning to go on a suicide mission, she panics and the Agni Kai comes rushing back to her mind.

Something quite interesting happens, though. Not only here, but also later on, during her conversation with Zuko.

See if you can catch it.

Ming felt the cold like never before. It was pumping in her ears, freezing the sweat on her nape, masking the thunder of her chest, tearing at her flesh—at her soul.

Rise and fight, Prince Zuko.

She snapped back into focus and sprinted away from an oblivious Yoi.

(...)

She refused to cry in front of Zuko. Not for this. Not after…after…

You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.

Then so be it.

Zuko stared through her. She looked away.

Then so be it.

Haven't you noticed something a little...odd, about this AU? I mean, besides the spirit shenanigans, obviously. I'm talking about something that's missing. Something pivotal about Zuko's journey that just isn't there. The only word not yet written.

Avatar.

A larger threat, Zuko couldn't be allowed any chance to return to the Fire Nation. Not even a disgraceful mockery of an impossible mission. There's no chasing after the Avatar here. There's no looking for the last airbender (Zuko's previous visits to the Air Temples had a different motivation).

Zuko's banishment was a one-way ticket. And Ming just told us the reason why.

You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.

(With open eyes and the misdirection of Agni's burning touch over his shoulder, Zuko had no reason to cower. So he stood up. He faced his destiny with honor and resignation. This was a test, wasn't it? Agni's challenge for his child...)

Then so be it.

(That line wasn't Ozai's to deliver.)

[sitp-recs]

hi liv!!! do you have any recs for fics where draco is actually doing the *work* of reinventing himself? feel free to interpret as loosely as you'd like, none of your recs have ever led me astray lol

Hi anon! Thank you for trusting my recs 💜 this might be one of my favourite asks, putting this list together I’ve realized how much I love this trope. I think you might also enjoy this list with successful Draco in the Muggle world. Happy readings!

Too hard to be lived without by harryromper (T, 3k)

Or, in which Draco manages to find some peace until Harry comes barrelling back into his life.

Limits of Earth and Sky by RenVeree (E, 4k)

Again and again, Draco Malfoy returns to the public eye only to attempt the most challenging broomriding feats Wizarding Society has to offer. Again and again, Harry Potter watches him do it and wonders why.

Stories in E Minor by huldrejenta (E, 9k)

Draco has found his place in the Muggle world. He's got his music, he's got his neighbours and he is content. Until a certain someone from the past enters his life again.

Rebuilding Draco Malfoy by khasael (E, 11k)

Draco wants to do something to get his life back on track, but no-one seems to be taking him seriously – until he finds himself in an Auror training session led by Harry Potter.

The Year of Non-Magical Thinking by whiskyandwildflowers (E, 13k)

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Potter. I'll think of something. So will you. But this is my journey to self-actualization," Draco managed to smirk. "You can fuck off and get your own."

O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor (E, 20k)

In which Draco finds faith in the church, and Harry finds faith in Draco.

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by @wellhalesbells (T, 21k)

Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.

Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout (T, 30k)

Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he's here, and he won't stop requesting books from the library where Harry works.

Open For Repairs by @drarrytrash (M, 35k)

After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.

Heal Thyself by astolat (T, 47k)

"Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.” “What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th.

(We'll Call This Fixer-Upper) Home by @phdmama (E, 52k)

Draco Malfoy hasn’t set foot on English soil in ten years. After the war, he fled to America, where he found himself in a community, and healed himself through following his heart into music. He’s now the lead singer and songwriter for an internationally known band, who have come back to headline the Wiltshire Music Festival.

Truth to Materials by lately, @toomuchplor (E, 55k)

In which Harry learns to appreciate art and other pleasures of the flesh.

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (E, 61k)

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (T, 103k)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine.

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (M, 131k)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

[ceiling-karasu]

I think reading a few stories from the classmates' perspective would be a really good idea to help set the tone of the story or fill out the AU! I would love to see things from everyone else's perspectives as well.

Which means I should probably write something from Nayeon and Tokgasi's perspectives on how they see Jollin, because I think I have the same problem of just one perspective. Still better than the dark and depressing atmosphere of Lily Bell, though, even despite the attempts at humor.

Also, off the top of my head, I don't remember if you mentioned this, but where do they all stay? If the hedgehog kids are going to a school, and it is acknowledged that they will be funneled straight into conscription, then would they live with families (or whatever small shed/apartment Dalnim is allowed to stay in. You seem to be drawing him ‘clean’ so to speak, so he is able to follow some grooming habits if he isn’t bathing in the school sink? If he wa dirty I think you would show that) or would it make sense for them to start living in dorms/barracks on the school campus after a certain age?

Which is just something I've been thinking about for my own AUs with hedgehogs. With one AU I have them living with families until conscription, but another I'm thinking the kids can live in dorms/barracks after a certain age beforehand. The tone is bleaker in the latter but there's a later reason for that.

And what are they all eating and in what amounts? Although that might be getting too detailed lol.

I think I can remake the drafts if I can find graph paper again. I think half the issue is I think I need to work on layers more, because I think that could help me figure out the basement cellar, main floor, and attic in proportion to each other. Or I could just do it separately. Either way, I have a few dozen house layout schematics saved that i found online for reference.

Also, turns out villas don't have to be exactly proportional anyway. I was worried about the outhouse style bathroom being at the end of a random hallway, but it turns out villas specifically can just be like that, all sprawled out. I just have to make the furrows connect to the kitchen properly. Not sure if I should include the secret passageways and furrows in the schematics, though.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather's passing! I did not really know mine either, sadly enough.

I haven't fully fleshed out the reason the grandfather hasn't brought up Jollin being a scout to Nayeon yet. I'm thinking that no one wants to break her heart (not in the romantic sense) by telling her that the new neighbor squirrel is really an enemy scout, because she gives off a pure air of innocence that is no longer widely found among youngsters her age in Flower Hill, and no one wants to lose that. If she finds out that Jollin is the enemy, she might snap into a more serious mode and start distrusting everyone.

The reason might be more that if she doesn't know, then Jollin might see her as not a threat and let his guard down, and then she tells things to her grandfather. So yeah, the whole, keeping an eye on him thing, but perhaps in a roundabout way.

Especially since Nayeon essentially means 'Cute Bunny' in some Korean slang, but elegant/beautiful destiny in other ideas, and it is really a good descriptor name for her. I think I kind of gave up on trying Hangul for her name, since everything about how dormice are named has French origins anyway (barring Romans thinking of them as a delicacy). Although I worry that 'cute bunny' actually comes from Korean idols named Nayeon that fans claim look like bunnies.

Something I did while I was waiting for class.

I don’t know if she would be a new character of mine. But if she was, she would be working as an archivist or doing something based around culture. Idk. She isn’t a character I would place in OFP since she wouldn’t be a solider. She would have been exempted.

The quality came out a bit wonky

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

he is so handsome i feel like my heart is going to explode.

[protect-namine]

.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

my 1 (one) stardew opinion is shane should not have won the bachelor poll

[longagoitwastuesday]

I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha

I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.

I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.

It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.

Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?

And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.

The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.

These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?

Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.

The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.

After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol

[batfossil-fr]

Thuja - one of my bestest boys, a self hatch, and has one of my favorite bios I've written. You don't need to know a whole lot about the background story of my lore/the tab he's in (partially because most of it still only lives in my brain), other than there's an angry sun god (or two...) causing problems in my lair. ;)

[dandyshucks]

seeing ppl say that theyre going to kiss and hug all his trauma away makes me insane bc thats so not how it works 😭😭😭 not to be "u don't understand him like i do" but CMON... that sort of trauma doesnt work like that.... its not a "romance fixes everything" situation.... and i know half the time ppl are just being somewhat silly and not actually serious but i just get so irritated w the trope of "just get into a relationship and it'll fix all ur trauma :]" bc its EVERYWHEREEE

[forcedhesitation]

After my last post I decided to sit down and rank all the possible companion pairs. here is the tierlist, should you wish to fill it out yourself.

This is a "ship" chart, but it's important to clarify that I am interested in how the dynamic works overall, not just romantically. I am very invested in how the stories of different characters overlap, and how they could mesh together to change both people involved. so the more interesting I find an individual character, the more likely they are to be higher in the chart.

How interesting I find characters also usually translates to my desire (or lack thereof) to draw them. So my likeliness to draw a pairing is the scale I used to describe each tier, rather than a nebulous "S," "B", or "F." This way, I feel it is better understood exactly why each pair is placed where it is.

Once again, sorry to those who enjoy miss SH. I do not hate her, I just do not find her to be an especially compelling character. I like the voice acting for her, but I don't care for her design, and I feel any element of her story is simply better explored in those of other characters.

*Special Exception 1: I have to split this pair off specifically, because I've thoroughly disparaged it in the past, based on erroneous judgments of halsin's character. when I first played the game, I locked myself out of a lot of Act 2 dialogue with him, which meant I missed the parts of his character that I do find interesting. I will say, it does still deeply bother me how much of his character revolves around sating the sexual desire players might have for him. I also hate that, as far as I'm aware, he can only acknowledge the player's relationship with astarion in the context of having sex. But after spending an entire campaign playing the game correctly, trying to learn as much about halsin as I could, and thus romancing him, so that I could properly judge him, I have grown attached to my rewritten version of him. so I'm not so much fond of the star/halsin pair as it is in game, as I am of that dynamic in the context of corydalis' campaign.

*Special Exception 2: after what happened with halsin, I feel it would be unfair to judge how interesting I might find minthara's relationship with most of the other companions, given that I've not yet had the opportunity to recruit her. despite this, I can safely say that I have no interest in whatever would likely play out between her any of the men, bar gale. gale is the exception because I've seen snippets of dialogue between them. I do not necessarily think they'd work together romantically, but again, it's more that the potential dynamic between them is interesting to me, regardless of the type of relationship they have. also, I do not categorise all other minthy x male companion pairs as bad because I am of the belief that she is not bisexual. I have faith that this game would make an effort to show us that she was a different identity, were she, because it already does a great job of affirming every other companion's bisexuality outside their potential relationship to the player. what I do not have faith in, however, is that minthy has as beautifully written a story as lae'zel does, where she learns to abandon the cruel and bigoted beliefs her society indoctrinated her to have. not when origin companions like wyll & karlach still lack material, and not when halsin's writing is as inconsistent as it is. I do not think that either halsin or minthy have, or will ever have, fully fleshed out narratives.

if you've interesting commentary about a particular pairing that you like, that you feel I might benefit from reading, do feel free to share it! even if I dislike a pairing, I am usually willing to read someone's thoughts about why they do find it interesting, granted it's not like...something utterly foul. I just ask you keep any commentary you choose to share to companion/companion pairs or companion/companion pairs in the context of polyamory with a tav/durge. NPC romance is another conversation.

[bisaster-energy]

literally don't listen to the oh hellos valley album if thinking about sam winchester makes u feel anything because those songs are so fucking samcoded it'll tear ur heart out

[transmasc-tabris]

.

[yandere-romanticaa]

Seen the request, so I shall deliver. Could you pls write a drabble or hcs of a yandere sunday with an isekaied reader?

Good timing because I'm actually planning a non yan isekai fic for him, I wonder if you saw that post. Here it is in case you haven't.

Sincerest apologies if this isn't the best, this fic is 100% emotionally charged by my obsession with him and frankly with a little bit of a high for passing a tricky exam. This is a treat for myself.

EDIT: Please check out this wonderful comic that @danijaci made me based off this fic!! 😭🫶

Picking up the cup from the fine oak table, you gazed towards the eerie galaxy before you, hundreds upon thousands of stars giving you a constant reminder of just how far from home you truly were. Taking a sip from the little porcelain cup you could not help but to hum in delight, the soft notes of the tea soothing your nerves ever so lightly as you pretended to ignore the heavy gaze which lingered at the back of your head.

Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Sunday was eager to approach you. Still, he kept his distance and made a silent offering in the form of the very tea you drank at the moment.

Anything is better than Himeko's coffee but you were never going privy her to that.

In a not so distant past, all of this was nothing but fiction. The Express, the story, the characters - it was all nothing more but fiction, something to pass the time as your days went on and on, the same monotony repeating each and every day.

It was hard to not think about your friends and family, what sane person would not? Lord knows how they must be feeling right now, worried sick out of their minds with indescribable sorrow. In their eyes you had merely vanished, not a single trace to be found. For all they knew you could have been left for dead in a ditch somewhere, beaten, bloodied and broken, never to see the light again or if they were even more inclined to be morbid, you had succumbed to a fate worse than death. Death at the very least grants you finality, that all is over regardless of what happened moments prior.

But that was simply not the case for you.

Here you were, lounging about in a comfortable chair as you pondered on your old life while enjoying tiny little luxuries, far away where none of your loved ones could reach you. However, life was funny sometimes because it had some fun games in store.

Sunday was very kind upon arrival. He made sure to always be there for you, always checking up on you, always there to keep you company. You were already smitten with him but now to actually witness him in the flesh was just... Indescribable. You got along like a house on fire, so much so that the crew liked to tease that you ought to just get a room. Sunday, ever the gentleman, would just brush their words aside and assure you to not take their playful little jabs to heart.

You wouldn't say anything, resorting to merely giving him a smile but not because of what he said but rather of what he did not - never once did he actually shut down those perverse accusations. Never, not even once did he deny them.

He became an emotional crutch, someone to whom you would come running to when things got tough and he would always welcome you with open arms. Sunday would hold you tenderly, his serene voice dripping with honey along with a tender drop of ecstasy, for his excitement with holding you would just show itself sometimes. His grip would be too tight at certain moments, never quite ready to let you leave. His hugs were warm and comforting, he always smelled so good too. He smelled like kindness and sweet wildflowers, always lulling you back to him no matter the time. In dark corners and perhaps even under the watchful eyes of the crew, Sunday would wrap his scarf around your head, securing the soft fabric in order to provide you with a sense of comfort.

It was humiliating just how much you would try to inhale his scent as much as possible. You wanted it etched deep inside your memory, you wished for it to linger on your very soul and for it to follow you everywhere you went, sticking to your being like tar. The fabric of the scarf would muffle your ears a little but someone was always chatting in the background. Be it March bickering with Dan Heng, Mr Yang scolding someone for doing something they were not supposed to, or just Conductor Pom Pom trying to give a speech, all of it was irrelevant.

You were ready to kill whoever would try to pry you away from sweet Sunday. That thought came often which had left you worried - just what kind of person had you become? Regardless, you kept your mouth shut and had no plans of sharing such violent sentiments with anyone, particularly not to the one you held so dear.

When it was time to part for the evening you would bid the crew farewell and wished them a good night. You always made sure to take a few extra seconds with Sunday, just to ease your aching soul. He would tell you to sleep well and would see you in the morning, ready to take on any endeavor that crossed your paths.

As everyone parted ways, Sunday would wander off somewhere dark and distant, somewhere no one could see nor hear him. He would fall to his knees and clutch his chest in agony, fat tears streaming down his face as he did everything he possibly could to steady his raging heart. In a rush he would reach for the scarf which clung around his neck, his grip tighter than iron as he would bring it close to his nose. Taking a large, deep breath, Sunday was greeted by your familiar scent which would promptly calm his poor heart.

He sometimes wondered if his heart would start bleeding from the pain due to the sheer intensity of his emotions.

This was wrong, everything about this was not right and it hurt. Sunday was obviously ill but he had no clue on how to fight this... This emotion, this white hot feeling of need whenever you stood by his side. He started to choke on the air around him and fell into an abrupt coughing fit but even then, he could bring himself to remove the scarf from the lower part of his face.

Sunday wept and sobbed, filthy snot coming out from his nose but he could not handle that now. He needed you, Oh Heavenly Aeons, how he needed you. However was he going to tell you how he felt? How, oh how was he going to express the sheer magnitude of his true thoughts? He would scare you off, he was sure of it.

Even with this pain, even with these clipped wings and bleeding heart, Sunday had never felt so alive, so harrowingly present in the moment whenever he was with you.

Perhaps, he was doing himself a kindness by just letting you be. Drink your tea, be at peace.

He can always just make you another cup if you so desired.

Without knowing, you both haunted each other in the most agonizing way known to mankind and neither was strong enough to face the reality of the situation.

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic