#that's probably the adhd. i can't strike a balance bw masking enough to not be ridiculed but not so much as to seem completely distant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

an-absolute-nightmare · 1 year

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the thing about social interaction is that it is an essential skill that i never learnt and whatever of it existed was only grievously impaired during the pandemic so i'm trying to learn it by aggressively throwing myself into social situations even though it is difficult. surely something will stick

#having connections is so important #which is why i'm grabbing every opportunity to make new connections by the throat even if it scares my so so so much #chanting 'we must not romanticise ease we can do difficult things' as i scream cry and try to teach myself something basic #i have discovered in this process that i try too hard to make myself palatable and ultimately give others nothing to work with #that's probably the adhd. i can't strike a balance bw masking enough to not be ridiculed but not so much as to seem completely distant #but worrying about that is step 2. step 1 is just interacting with people at any cost #in less scary news i am trying to figure out stuff i like instead of just going along with stuff people around me have always told me i like #shit although maybe that's more scary now that i think about it...#i might have to.. open up... and talk about all this stuff... to all these people i'm trying to make connections with... Oh God #bwaaaaaaaaaaaa this self improvement shit is difficult and terrifying they should do classes on how to be a person

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