#that's not to say those arent authentic aspects of their personalities

[cactuslester]

dan is actually SUCH a romantic I didn't expect that

idk if this is in reference to something specific that happened recently lmk if it is, but yeah he really IS

he's got his edgy cynical persona and brand and we love him for it, but he can never really help being a bit of a sap when it really comes down to it

most recent silly example i can think of is him thinking the sims shouldve had an option for evan to lovingly wake dab up lmaooo

and of course there's all of those interviews, archenemies, husbands, 4000 year old tortoises, and so on <3

this is getting slightly off topic but also slightly related, something i find absolutely fascinating is the differences in how dnp navigate these types of things, being romantic and/or being emotionally vulnerable on camera/in print

like had has the edgy cynical aloof "coincidences are just statistics" thing he likes to project, but really it doesn't make much digging to get him to start waffling poetic

but phil has the cheerful optimistic believes in the magic of coincidence thing, but i think he holds a lot of his sappiness and/or emotional vulnerability way closer and way more guarded

there's obviously a lot more complexity to this that we are not privy to and i also cant explain in just a few sentences, but still, it's so interesting how the major/most noteble aspects of their branding and online personas can give a viewer, especially ones who arent insane about them like all are here on this website, an almost opposite impression as to what's really happening

(this also is tangentially related to my thoughts about how dnp navigate the idea and practice of lying, which i also find fascinating, like i think for dan lying is a Bigger thing, like he has a greater urge/need to feel like he is being authentic and honest and a greater want to not lie, but phil sees lying as more of a neutral practice that can be helpful and useful in situations where people just aren't entitled to that information, like i think when dan said "phil doens't care, he's just like like 'i'll fucking lie to anyone'" there was a kernel of truth to that, but this is a longer conversation and i've already made this answer way longer than i expected lmao thank you for humoring me guys)

[angstics]

(sources: nyt 2014, bryan ferry: 1976, 1979, maximilianmogg.de 2021, gerard way: 2005, sleek 2016, bowie: 1973, 1978, ama 2014, gerard way: 2014)

gerard way on style, authenticity, gender, british music from the 70s and 90s... and COSTUMES. that was just a primer on the topic i actually want to talk about, which is how different the outfits this past tour have been stylistically from anything gerard has PULLED FROM or DONE.

this entire run, 2022-23, the closest gerard ever got to wearing something he would've worn during the first period (01-13) was the when we were young shows. part making fun: the second night (the first was cancelled) they wore a replica of their revenge album run outfit with HEAVY old age makeup. part homage: night three, they wore something so reminiscent of colleen atwood's work that in conjunction with gerard's tour designer (marina toybina) saying atwood worked with gerard on something not specified and toybina not claiming this outfit as she usually would, led people to believe this was the work of atwood. which is significant because she designed the original black parade costumes!

(wwwy2, wwwy3, 2004, 2006)

every single other show was unique in some way. from the tshirts to loose jeans to short shorts to tight skirts to a nurse uniform to a full joan of arc get-up. this isnt to say they didnt divert from the "uniform" back in the day with other outfits -- but the new stuff either became the new regular or they were rare. they were always on theme. even beyond that, the wwwy looks are what people know them for. it's part anti-marketing -- no defintion, no statement. they just performed and people loved it. the only person to even publicize it is toybina, who just talked about the craft.

it's also part anti-glam aesthetically. for a decade, the same figures informed gerard's performance style. in evolving past The Past, he moves away from those figures. never entirely, especially not in artistic ideology. like you can see traces of ferry's idea of the authentic self interrupting expectations or bowie's evolution into softer adaptations of past selves -- but not as much as the hesitant alien look which was explicitly about that. looking at original glam rock style like bowie as ziggy stardust, there is an accentuation, drama, and single vision which defined mcr's revenge and early black parade aesthetics. those periods were gerard's biggest dedication to hair and make up until hesitant alien, which he describes as a return to glam.

looking at the tour vision today, it has none of these qualities. ive talked about how the outfits (mostly) arent highly dramatic or highly gendered, which is why i dont think calling it drag fits. esp on the drama point, that's a key aspect of glam missed. there's no makeup, no accentuation, no BIGNESS. the tour is marked by its long-range simplicity. when the drama comes, it's in the dirty and off-putting, not style. it's interesting that when way does act as a character, like the office worker or dracula, it's entirely physical like a stage actor not a singer. though those are just sparks. he doesnt "break" because it's just gerard as we know him.

one final thread to address here is the gender sphere. if gerard explicitly pulled from glam rock mcr 1.0 into hesitant alien, and he's mostly divorced from glam now... where is all this newfound gender presentation exploration coming from? from female archetypes (cheerleader, jackie-o) to theatrical gender neutrality (any of the body suits) to what wouldve been called "metrosexual" in 2006 (atlanta, nj2) to just a general feminine outfit (firefly, 8/9 of the 2023 leg) -- the artist has their source, meaning, motivation, sure. this step back from talking about anything is sooooooo genius for getting people to take what they want from the tour's artistic output. interpretation fuels discussion. people keep talking about the possible narratives of the albums. people keep talking about the constructed interpersonal narratives. people will keep talking about the mysterious narrative of this tour.

what people have taken from the looks of this tour is that they are a recontextualization of symbols gerard has always connected to -- one example is how cheerleaders went from an old failed pitch to the im not okay mv to revenge photoshoots to the blood and teenagers mvs. but unlike the wwwy outfits, he isnt using the symbols in the same way. it's entirely new that he becomes the exploited female figure he's attached to. the inspiration is the self. there's no avoidance. i think "foundations" had a lot do with the direction of the tour -- its self-reflection forming a new image, in both lyrics and sound, is exactly what the tour looks have been about. not Glam, not Post Glam... not mcr 1.0, not not mcr 1.0... making up new words for an old language to write stories not possible with just the old

[castlebyersafterdark]

(Do yall know how many asks I get requesting details and preferences on the intricacies of anal sex prep? Yall. Suspension of disbelief. There's so many advice and sexual health articles out there to read up on if you're so curious, it's... implied. No offense to the curious mind, I appreciate the genuine approach, but I ain't including all that in a fic hahaha. ANYWAY

you thought you could hide this in the strikeout but vinny dahling, i can read Strike (TM) AAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA CRUELLA DE VIL LAUGH

anyway. so i have never asked for this in an anon lol but i have to empathise with the dear and curious readers (most likely girls but maybe baby gays or straight guys who are curious???? shoutout to all the lurking straight dudes here on vinny's blog lol). i think sexfic can be hot and heightened reality, but its also nice to add some realism and it can be aspirational too. youre kind of a king of realistic sex in hcs and fics in the spicy byler fandom tbh. youre invested in realism and emotion in a way many other writers arent. and ofc, you have life experience.

so i think its just a case of - well, for me, i think its just interest to see how the practicalities could be worked into fic. because yes there is info available, but those articles dont tell you how to incorporate the necessities into an actual scenario or story thats still sexy. i just think it would be incredible and so sexy to read a fic (or see a film!) where the nuts and bolts of everything were included. messy, maybe it fails, but yeah. it makes younger people especially hopeful, because it validates the frequent fails of early sex experiences. and thats byler! i know youre working on a fic of their early relationship so I'm sure you'll grace us with some Very Realistic details about anal sex prep and make it poetic in its realism, too. if anyone can, its you! whenever youre ready, im sure lots of us will be happy to read that.

love you vinny.

HAHAHA well 😉

And it's no shade to those lovely, curious, inquiring minds. It's realistic!! It's obviously going to cross the mind, I get it! Maybe, just getting too nitty gritty and acknowledging all the hyper-real aspects of stuff has a twinge of embarrassment, a sort of mindset where it's like, oh I'm enjoying writing about fictional sex and sharing little hints at personal sexcapades, but there are times where I don't want to be seen as a beacon of real advice and especially not become a go-to sexual health educator hahaha. I'm just being silly or creative most of the time.

But... yeah. I can't deny the fact that I do enjoy having my niche being a little bit of a realistic approach to my fanworks. It's pretty fun, because I've mostly dabbled in the ridiculous or lofty before now - but I switched up styles and approach and what I always wanted was an honest sort of insight and writing style. Found it in this fandom of all places, wild. So, yeah. Authenticity. Love that, strive for that. I appreciate the kind words and faith in me!!

Very true though that more very realistic media in general would be super interesting, and I think more things these days are surprising me in positive ways. We do need more realism for many aspects and depictions of the intricacies of intimacy and relationships. For sure. I will say... I do think you and others will find a lot of this in that fic I'm slowly working on. That's why it's gonna take awhile! I think something like that is gonna be more long form if I want to say what I want to say. Of course here's stuff in the fic meant to be hot, but most of it is just... exploratory and trying stuff through storytelling. Depicting how two young men entering a sexual relationship together with very little reference points might deal. Ohhh, it's got awkward moments, it's got not-so refined sex, it's got realism in what is actually happening - I think you'll find what you and others are looking for there. It's my realism fic while a lot of my other stuff does have that typical fanfic mystical world where things just somewhat... gloss over reality to an extent haha.

Love you too anon ❤️❤️

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[quranrehab]

How To Be More Confident - 5 Quranic Secrets

BY HALIMAH EL KURGHALI

SUMMARY

Live with integrity for who you are and what you believe. When you are being fully alive and authentic and true to who you are, you feel confident.

Get more competent. Go gather more knowledge, skill, and abilities in the areas that you are passionate about and need to perform well in. More competence = more confidence.

Get momentum. Take more action. Life isn’t about perfection it’s about progress. The more action you take the more progress you’ll sense and the more confident you’ll feel that you are on path.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive companions. If you don’t have a supportive community, go create one. No excuses. A positive peer set will help you feel more confident.

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DID YOU KNOW?

I give weekly prizes, gratitude and shout-outs to our students, so post a screenshot or video on Instagram and use #QuranLifestyle! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts about this episode!

Question...

Have you ever experienced feelings of regret in your life as a result of not quite having enough confidence to say something you really wanted to someone.. or experienced regret as a result of not having quite enough confidence to do/pursue something that was really important to you?

Have you ever struggled in your life with the difficult emotions that stem from having a lack of confidence such as fear and anxiety or low self esteem and self worth? Would you like to stop living with any more regrets and start feeling differently about yourself? Would you like to start living life more free?

Well in this video Halimah share with you 5 Quranic ideas on how you can practically go about building more self confidence inshAllah!

Because who wouldn’t you like to experience more of that inner strength that you get in your body when you feel more confident, right? Who wouldn’t like to experience more of that joy being who they are in their own skin which you feel when you are more confident? Who wouldn’t want to experience more of that energy to pursue the things they love and are most important to them, which you gain when you have more confidence in yourself?

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of The QuranLifestyle Show by Halimah Kurghali]

Asalamu Alaykum. Halimah here your Quran lifestyle coach. Today lets talk about how we can become more confident! Because why wouldn’t you like to experience more of that strength that you get in your body when your confident, why wouldn’t you like to experience more of that joy being who you are that you feel when your confident, why wouldn’t you want to experience more of that energy to pursue the things you love that you gain when you have more confidence in yourself.

Maybe you’ve experienced that sense of regret in your life before when you didn’t quite have enough confidence to say something you really wanted to someone in the past, or experienced that regret in the past from not having enough confidence to do something you needed to or pursue something that was really important to you. Maybe you’ve struggled in your life before with the difficult emotions that stem from having a lack of confidence such as fear and anxiety or low self esteem and self worth for example and you would love to change things- you don't want to live with any more regrets, you want to start feeling different about yourself and start living life more free - you want to be more confident inshallah. Well today I want to share 5 quranic ideas on how we can practically go about building more self confidence inshallah.      

Now in order to pursue confidence it's important we first define and understand what confidence actually is right? That way were not going to mistaken confidence for what some people superficially judge it to be- like never getting nervous for example which isn’t true or about it only leading to arrogance on the other hand etc. ok So in the world of personal development confidence is something that we humans are said to develop in our psyche and It's essentially defined as something we attain when we have the ability to genuinely express who we truly are and pursuing the things we truly desire. So it comes from having this cohesive sense of identity- an alignment of who we are, what we belief, our values and dreams etc and we authentically live that, we live the best of who we are on a consistent bases. Now in order for us to really be authentic for us to generate the ultimate levels of confidence its going to naturally require tip 1 which is:

1) Self awareness

Now a lot of people might ask how they can increase their levels of self awareness- to discover more about who they really are, their beliefs values and dreams in life- and the reality is that there are a bunch of ways you can- you could engage in more self reflection, you could journal, you could get yourself a coach, you do some online personality tests for example- there are many ways you could learn more about yourself which is going to help you boost your levels of self confidence. But I would say that the ultimate way to gain the highest levels of self awareness, which I would argue surpasses all other methods.. is learning about yourself through learning about Allah swt. There is a famous saying that states: men Arafa rubahu arafa nefsahoo- the one who got to know his master truly got to know himself. But this idea isn’t a cultural, its in fact something that Allah himself attests to in the quran.  

Allah swt says in the Quran in surah taha that He "knows the secret and what is even more hidden”. Now a secret is something that your conscious about but which you keep hidden inside you right? In this verse Allah swt is saying that not only is he aware of those things but that he is aware of things that are even deeper inside of us- that impact the way you and I perceive things and the way we behave etc now- but that are in our subconscious, in the deepest recesses of our minds and memory that even we ourselves are not even aware of and which no one could fully comprehend about us- not even psychiatrist for example who spend there lives helping people explore and better understand deeper aspects of themselves to help ppl become more self aware and best manage themselves. And allah tells us this in order to help us realise that when we get to know Allah and remember Him- when we build a spiritual closeness to him then allows us to become more aware of ourselves in ways we never have been and never will be otherwise- that he swt will open up for us our own levels of consciousness and allows us to discover deeper things inside of us so you can become a better, more healthier, more authentic, happier and confident human beings.

And If this wasn’t true allah swt would have stated its opposite to be true elsewhere in the Quran. Allah swt says in surah hash v19:

“Don't become like people who forgot allah, so allah made them forget themselves" So one of the incredible benefits of our close relationship to allah is our own self awareness and when we attain that and be authentic to it then that will become a tremendous source of confidence for us inshallah.

Ok so how do we do it then?- how do we learn about allah and build a relationship/closeness to him that can lead to greater self awareness and confidence? Well Allah swt says in Imran 103

"And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together” now a rope it connects two things to each other, it to hold them together. Right? The actual expression hablullah the rope of allah grammatically in arabic its actually an Ithafa meaning these two words are inseparable- so its as if allah is saying this rope it directly connects to allah and you should hold onto it because if you do you will be directly connected to allah too. But what is this rope exactly? Well the prophet pbuh said it is the quran itself. You know this notion of the quran being our ultimate connection to allah is also echoed in Hadiths of the prophet buh like when he said

"You will not come back to Allah swt with anything better than that which came from Him i.e. Quran"(Sahih: Al-Hakim)

And this vital teaching was something the prophet also made sure to deeply ingrained into the heart and practice of his companions too- for example khabab ibn alert he beautifully said “do whatever you wish to get close to Allah swt but know that you will never get closer to him with something more beloved to him then his own word”.

So ask yourself, how’s strong is your relationship with the quran in your life right now? Ask yourself What small but significant action could you take today to start building a greater relationship with it inshallah? Because I’m telling you walahii when you start reading the quran and you come across ayaht like surah teen where Allah swt tells you that he moulded you in the best of forms, when you study the quran and come across verses like in surah hajj where Allah swt teaches you that he actually sees something in you, potential in you, that qualifies you to struggle in service to him and that why He personally selected you to have lilaha Allah Muhammad radula, when you study the quran and come across surahs like surah muminon where you learn that Allah has already created for you a house in the highest part of jannah in janatul firedows because he know your capable, because he has such high expectations of you and has provided for you every opportunity possible for you to attain it .. you will not be able to feel anything less then the greatest levels of confidence- because these arent things that youve read in a book or have been told to you from others which may or may not be true but facts are being stated by the ultimate source of knowledge and truth- from your creator Allah swt.

Before i move on there is one additional thing I want to quickly add here ia thats super important to us as muslims which I believe we shouldn’t overlook in relation to self awareness. in the world we live in today there is a lot of talk of being authentic to 'who you are' and 'what your ‘calling/purpose’ is, in order for you to be happy right? But we have to realise that a lot of the self discovery taking place to discover these things are completely self determined right? And so its important we acknowledge the simple flaw in this pursuit- because like we seen explained in those two quranic verses I previously shared our knowledge of our true selves is limited. And what’s more we must realise that even what we do know or assume of ourselves right now in our lives is not actually permanent either. Because I’m sure ten years ago you probably identified as a diff person to how you would describe yourself today or at least you maybe wanted diff things in life then you do now right? That's because we humans naturally grow and develop over time- nothing stays the stagnant in life. But Despite this reality of us all evolving in our own ways and at your own paces as we embark on our individual paths in life there is one aspect of our identity, of who we truly are& what we will all truly want whether we realise this right now or not -that is forever constant and so its the most authentic aspect of our being and so its actually then the secret to our ultimate happiness and confidence...and that is being a slave of Allah and aspiring to be with him. And the best way of learning more about and reminding ourselves of this most liberating and confident boosting reality, once again is the quran inshallah.

Now this very powerful first quranic idea for becoming more confident through self awareness, its something that we work on long term, but there are some practical techniques we can use right now to immediately help us feel more confidence too inshallah and one of those that we are now going to talk about is:

2) Our focus: now Our brains are bombarded with hundreds of pieces of information at any time, and in order for it to avoid being overloaded and in order to maintain functioning in a healthy way, it has a filtering system that helps it filters all the pieces of information and that extract what’s the most important pieces of info for us to focus on in this moment. And its important to know that Whatever we choose to focus on from the information we are exposed to around us, whether positive or negative, we actually program our brains into directing all our energies and drive to achieving that result. And that's because where focus goes energy flows.

Now we see The power of focus demonstrated for us in the Quran through two contrasting examples- through the focus of Musa and the focus of firown. Now many of you know that firown once had a dream, a premonition that one day a man from bani Israel would overthrow him right? And he made a choice to focus on this fear of his- he consciously dedicated all his lifelong thoughts and actions to trying to prevent this prophecy from coming true. And He began his mission by ordering the death of all the male children that had been born to the Bani Israel (Quran 2:49) But subhanallah it was his very actions which stemmed from his obsessive focus on his fear that actually resulted in that child being delivered to the very doorsteps of his palace, and led Musa to grow up in the household of Firown as a son and eventually led him to being overthrown and destroyed -because his order to kill the sons of bani Israel led to musa's mother placing him in the basket down the river nile in the first place. Subhanah

Now if you look at Musa on the other hand, one of the primary goals and focus of his prophethood given to him by Allah was to free Bani Israel from the tyranny of Firown right? And when we look at his story we see the powerful effects of his positive focus and the impact it had on his levels of confidence too. when Musa fled Egypt with his people and they reached the Red Sea, they became lodged between the sea, a mountain and the oncoming army of Firown right? Now Despite the bleak outlook and the negative questions and doubts that came from some of Bin Israel when they found themselves in that dire situation, were told that Musa because of his positive focus he consistently moved through the crowds of ban Israel with haroon and yushab focused on finding a solution to free his people (Quran 26:62) and the impact that his positive focus had on his levels of confidence can be seen in the profoundly beautiful statement he said in response to bani Israels worries when he said ‘qula kala inamaiya rubi sayehdi’.

And with the permission of Allah we see the successful results that his positive focus and confidence yielding in freedom bani Israel.

Ok with that said - if in your mind your focusing all the time on your fears and what your worried about, if internally your constantly question your own self worth and self esteem, how can you expect to feel more confident in yourself? You can’t right? Ok so how can we effectively direct our focus then in a more empowering and positive way in order to help us feel more confident inshallah? Well we can manipulate our focus through the use of strategic questions- questions are very powerful and that's because when we ask our brain a question it will always provide you with an answer. and that's actually why we find Allah swt constantly asking us questions in the quran right?- Allah is always positively guiding our focus in a productive way. Ok So instead of asking yourself disempowering questions like 'Why am I so rubbish at this?’, ‘why can’t I ever do things right’, 'what bad thing is going to happen if I try x,y,z’? Which will only impact your levels of confidence in negative way, as our brains will then provide answers to support such beliefs- we need to start programming ourselves to start asking ourselves more empowering questions such as 'What am I focusing on right now that's making me feel or act with a lack of confidence?’ And ‘What could I be focusing on right now that will help me feel more extraordinary levels of confidence in myself?’ I would personally suggest you keep a journal detailing just 2 or 3 empowering questions you can ask yourself on a daily basis to positively direct your focus to help you become more confident inshallah and get in the habit of regularly asking yourself those questions.

3) Physiology:

Ok so the reality is that a lot of people they wait around for certain events or experiences to happen to them in life in order to feel confident in themselves- so they think they will feel more confident with they attain a certain qualification, or when they lose a certain amount of weight or get verbal acknowledgment or love from a certain person, for example when the truth is that you can instantly create feelings of confidence, or any feeling you want in fact, by consciously utilising your physiology and that's because motion creates emotion. Because When you choose to embody the typical physiology/physical traits that defines a certain emotion, whether positive or negative, you instinctively create and amplify those associated feelings.

We can see The effects that our physiology has on our emotions demonstrated for us In the quran in two contrasting incidents. if we revisit the story of prophet Musa (as) in surah naml were told about the incident in which Allah spoke directly to musa (as) and during that meeting Allah showed musa a miracle in which his staff transformed into a snake and were told that musa was so scared by that that he physically ran away (Quran 27:10) Now when you feel scared what kind of bodily traits do you experience- increased heart rates, breathlessness, adrenaline pumping around your body right? When you physically run what things happen to your body as a result? Your heart rate increases doesn’t it- you become more breathless, there is an increase in adrenaline etc. so musas physical response to his fear do you see how it only intensified his fear and trapped him in that negative emotional state? Were told in that verse that he never came back because of it subhanallah. Ok Now contrast that to the incident mentioned in surah taha (20:67) when musa was confronted by the magicians of Egypt and they had this public dual before all the people of Egypt. Allah tells us once again that musa naturally felt fear right?- some mufasireen say there could have been up to 15,000 magicians he was faced with infant of the watching crowds subhanAllah. But there was a difference highlighted here- in this verse Allah tells us that musa chose in his incident to conceal his fear. How did he conceive fear only in his heart? by not allowing those emotions to be visibly transferred onto his limbs. So Instead he chose to display physical characteristics of confidence and strength in standing tall and firm for example. And in doing so it allowed him to control and lower the intensity of his fear, to potentially eliminate it even. That's the power of physiology

So in order to free ourselves from the emotions associated with a lack of confidence like fear and worry for example then we must consciously choose to break free from the associated physical states e.g. so we need to stop with our shallow and rapid breathing, stop our curled up body posture, stop crossing our arms and legs that were using to protect and comfort ourselves where we trying to mentally blocking things out, we need to stop with the nervous fidgeting and biting our nails etc- because these physical characteristics will only imprison us in our feelings of anxiousness. Instead we must choose to embody the physiology that encourages the positive feelings of confidence that we want to experience, to actual be felt- so by standing taller, lifting our heads up a bit more, by opening up our bodies, adopting gestures like the steeple hand gesture, maintaining stronger eye contact, breathing more deeper etc. remember motion creates emotion.

4) Momentum

Its when we stop having momentum in life that we begin experience feelings of being lost, or confused and we start feeling down about ourselves- we can experience a lack of confidence . You know A lot of people think that its simply just the decisions they make in life that are the most important thing, that its their decisions that define who they are and that will determine their success ,when that isn’t completely true- because although intentions are a necessary and very powerful first step towards moving forward in any direction, the truth is that a lot of people decide to do a lot of good things in life or decide to become someone better, but they don't actually do it right?- so some people decide to become a more patient and loving parent, or decide to loose weight or they decide to read more quran but they actually don't end up doing it. And That's because the act of making a decision of having an intention alone (although its important praiseworthy and something thats beautifully rewarded In islam) it doesn’t directly cause something to manifest into something real right?- that happens when you have disciplined action (and thats why you get another reward in islam when you actually act on your good intentions and why interestingly in islam iman/faith is defined as that which is the heart and the limbs together subhanallah)

So what I’m saying is that you can choose to be confident in your life right now if you wanted to simply by having the intention to and it helps yes- but if you really want feelings of unbreakable confidence to start naturally emanating from within you on a consistent basis long term then you will achieve that when you start moving forward towards your goals through taking consistent action and gaining momentum. Because when we take consistent action and have momentum we progress in and so we begin hitting milestones, experiencing small wins. We also give ourselves the opportunity to develop our competency too along the journey where we get to regularly acknowledge and connect with our strengths, and so all these things empower us and helps us to naturally build our levels of confidence.

Now some people will say well how can I start taking action, and creating momentum for myself halimah when I don't know what the bigger picture is, I don't have a clear plan and vision of where I’m going, I haven’t quite decided what that is for myself- so they get stuck, they linger in this state of procrastination, they kill their levels of confidence . Well what a lot of people don't realise is that often some of the best decisions we make in life actually come after we have momentum at something, because we gain some more perspective. Instead of waiting for the perfect plan, the perfect time, the perfect person or things in your life to then decide to pursue a goal or dream- instead of being at the whim of the external world which will only dampen your confidence, its important that instead you ask yourself -“What can I do right now to begin? Even if you're unsure of the big picture and the whole path. Because when we start moving things become more apparent, you gain better perspective like I said which can lead to better decisions and more confidence- you know you can stand far from a road sign trying to squint your eyes and figure out what the sign says when if you actually just started moved forward along the road you’ll be able to read those road signs more clearer right? Thats why we have the Hadith of the prophet pbuh were he told us that the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few. You know Vision can bring you a sense of direction and inspiration even, but momentum is what’s going to give you the confidence to pursue it in the first place.  

To illustrate this quranic teaching I want to share with you two similar verses of the Quran- one found in surah baqarah and the other is found in surah anfal. They both deal with fighting in the path of allah and These context of these ayaht relate to the first battle of islam, the battle of badr. So for those who don't know the context, muslims had been harshly oppressed and had been unjustly expelled form their homes. And so without having intiating violence themselves they were justified in fighting back for their homes. But the reality was that they were very few in number with very little military resources whilst their enemy the quraish were very powerful in resources and manpower. Now in surah al baqara Allah says to the muslims: “Fight them until their is no more tribulation and the deen (religion/way of life) belongs to Allah”/ and in surah anfal Allah swt says “fight them until their is no more tribulation/coruptino and the religion in its entirety belongs to Allah.” Now although these verses sound very similar because they deal with the same context, as you will have noticed there is a difference in the command Allah swt issued to the muslims within these two verses right?- one is to fight until the deen belongs to Allah while the other is to fight until the deen in its entirety belongs to Allah. And interestingly this difference is because of a difference in the timing of the revelation between of these two verses. the verse in Surah baqarah was revealed before the battle of badr whilst the ayah in surah anfal was revealed after the battle. Now when Allah told the muslims in Surah baqara to fight until the religion belonged to Allah its important we understand that when anyone at that time of revelation, in that region thought of deen/religion they all immediately would think of the kabah/makkah because everyone's religious idols resided in Makkah - so the muslims understood this ayah to mean that they will need to fight yes because they were being oppressed and expelled but they will need to continue fighting until Makkah belonged to Allah, until the house of alla/ kabah is cleansed and restored to the original legacy of Ibrahim- because the tribulation/corruption mentioned in the verse that needed to be overcome is talking about the spread of false religion. Now when the ayah in surah anfal was revealed, it told them they would actually need to continue fighting until the religion in entirety belongs to Allah- meaning until the whole of the region was cleared of false religion not just the kaba and makkah- and that's a substantially weightier commandment/ bigger goal right? There is a great lesson for us to learn in the fact that Allah gave the muslims an order on two different scales according to two time periods of their journey. The first ayah was revealed like I said before the battle of badr, where the situations of the muslims looked bleak, the muslims weren’t sure how things were going to turn out- the odds were not in their favour as they numbered around 300 whereas the quraish no apron 1000 etc. But as you know Allah swt granted the believers an extraordinary and tremendous victory at the battle of badr and it was after that that Allah swt revealed to them once again the same verses as a reminder that they would need to continue to fight but their task this time was greater they had a heavier duty to fulfill and the reason Allah swt waited to reveal the full extent of his commandment till after the battle was because the muslims has now been empowered and were more confident in their abilities as a result of the actions and momentum they had developed- so they felt capable of moving ahead with this even greater challenge. Had the verse of surah anfal been revealed to the muslims before badr the likelihood is that they would have just been intimidated by that vision Allah had for them, it would seem like too big a goal that they wouldn’t have had the confidence to pursue. But as a result of their actions and the momentum they gained first- where they got to experience a smaller more immediate milestones and win, it helped the muslims achieve greater levels of confidence in their abilities to go on and achieve even greater things, to cleanse the entire region of shirk subhanAllah.

So Allah in his perfect knowledge of us as his creation, he demonstrates for us in the Quran in these verses how we as humans, best operate on a cognitive level- it teaches is that although vision is key to us having the direction and inspiration we need, momentum is key to us attaining the confidence we need to pursue our goals and dreams in life.

5) Your Companion

You know We all need people around us who are positive and supportive who can see and appreciate the good in us and the good we do. Because sometimes its hard for us to see the picture when we are part of the frame right? Meaning when we are going through the motions of life we can sometimes lose sight of these things ourselves isn’t it? Being able to have People that we can reach out to and share our struggles, our failures and fears with- because we're human and we all have them! who can then offer us encouragement and remind us of our worth and abilities is important to helping us sustain our levels of confidence. Sometimes its simply easier for others to see things in us that we don't see in ourselves and when they share those with us and bring these facts into our perspective and into our line of focus it can help us better internalise and integrate those strengths and successes within us . we also need people who can cheer us on along the journey and with who we can meaningfully celebrate our small and big wins with too- as all these things essentially help to boost our confidence.

If we look into the Quran we see the impact and importance of company to our levels of confidence again in the story of Musa (as) for example- you know when he was given the mission of prophethood and was told he would have to deliver the message of towhead to firown and demand the release of bani Israel musa (as) he expressed to Allah swt his genuine fears and worries that were going to naturally mpact his levels of confidence and as such he himself immediately then asked Allah swt for the assistance of his brother harun who became a prophet too and who joined him on his mission- and this naturally help increase his confidence. If we look at the life of Muhammed pbuh when he came down from the cave of Hera upon receiving revelation for the first time we learn that he was scared and confused right?- he really doubted and questioned his own sanity we see that he immediately went to his wife Khadijah for comfort and support- and in her beautiful statement to him she reminded him of the good he possessed, the good that he would do towards others and reminded him of his worth with Allah swt didn’t she? And Khadijah even then took her husband to her cousin waraqa to offer him more clarity and support in order to help build his confidence even further subhanallah.

Now If you yourself don’t have such a supportive community, you don't need to wait around for people to show up, my advice would be to go fine people and create your community. Go to events, to the masjid, go volunteer along side others for a good cause - go get around amazing confident people who will help you with and inspire you with the development of your own confidence inshallah. And of course don't underestimate the power of dua either- ask Allah to connect you with the best of company that will benefit your dunya and akhirah inshallah.

Ok so in conclusion- when you build your levels of self awareness through your relationship with Allah via the Quran, when you choose to productively manage your focus through the isa of empowering questions, when you build momentum by starting to take small consistent action and you get around more good people- you realise that with the help of the quran you manage to have all the confidence you were hoping you one day would Alhamdullah.

Ok so If you enjoyed this video make sure you share it with those you love and be sure to subscribe to the Quran rehab channel- when you press the icon button then you will be notified whenever I release more content like this inshallah. I hope this video as always remind you that when you truly transform your personal relationship with the Quran, you can truly transform yourself and your life for the best- that you can start living what I can the Quran lifestyle inshallah. Until next time inshAllah, Takecare Asalamualykum.

[kinghardy]

The fact that you lecture people in 2017 on what is acceptable and what is not in 18th century without doing a historical research and taking someone's effort providing you with such knowledge insensitively, says it all! You ask for free speech but you do not even accept it from others. Not to mention, how hurtful it is to realize that the person who wants people to straight their facts about Egyptian history, cultural and people is the same one who cares less about British historical facts.

Except that my argument has not once been about history. Not once. I’m not contesting historical accuracy, I’m contesting a white guy playing the role of a biracial or multiracial character in 2017. Because if we’re really going off historical accuracy, a white man of entirely European descent playing a biracial character who isn’t, that’s not historically accurate. IF you want to pull this argument. Which, once again, doesn’t hold up.

Because you’re not understanding me in the least. You think I’m taking this stance with my critique of Taboo because of “historical accuracy”. I’m taking this stance because its the right way to go about telling narratives that do not belong to white people, especially ones that are extremely sensitive involving slavery and First Nations people and culture. Listen, you can feel offended all you want by what I’m saying but it doesn’t change the facts and the facts are the a white man simply can’t portray or tell a story of a person of color. Like the bare minimum would be to consult a person of color not even necessarily on the history but on anything thats being used in the work. If aiming for historical accuracy is so important what about identity politics? What about staying true to the people whose stories and cultures we write about and pull from? I’ve had people write Arab or Egyptian characters and check with me, an Egyptian, to make sure they weren’t botching the narrative or poorly or insensitively representing people of my heritage. Like that’s the bare minimum and that is what writers and creators DO. Research is not simply confined to an era or place in time it is also immersing yourself with and having on board people who will provide authenticity to the work and ensure you’re telling an accurate story and giving an accurate portrayal. Otherwise, why bother? We might as well all be J. R. R. Tolkien and write about elves and completely made up universes and if we can’t extend the courtesy of even asking people of those cultures and ethnicities what’s appropriate, what’s accurate, lets hear YOUR voice because a white person and all-white creative team behind this simply isn’t enough or doing justice to the people whose narratives are being intertwined into this story.

Its about humanizing the characters as accurately as possible this isnt just googling its having people there to ask because personal anecdotes are always far more powerful than what you read in a history book. Its about listening.

Because you know what? Id have zero issue with Taboo if James Delaney was just a basic white european Englishman. I would not give a flying FUCK about what happens beyond that and the usage of the n word (lets not even go there it was used carelessly in that first episode alone multiple times I cant imagine what black people feel watching that), if the story didnt involve the actual character himself not being white. I could even suspend a little disbelief of Delaney speaking an “African” language after 10 years of living away from England which by the way even saying that is cringeworthy, I hope Africa isnt treated like a monolith for the remainder of the series. Like i could maybe even roll with that.

But there really needs to be accountability these days. Look at the climate and look at what filmmakers like Quentin Tarantino got away with for over 10 years simply because he began producing his fantasy films exploiting black people in the 90s. And thats JUST because the climate then was different than today, and today people are a lot more critical and engaging thoughfully and with the appropriate hyperawareness to works as they SHOULD be and demanding that more voices and narratives and creative input beyond white people be at the forefront of our media, so if we as an audience are expected to consume then you better damn well realize that we aren’t passively taking information in any more and our critiques and feedback IS valid where applicable because people arent just saying “this isnt okay” with aspects of Taboo for shits and giggles, people literally feel like aspects of their identity are being taken and exploited and/or treated insensitively and that can’t be ignored. Otherwise stereotypes continue to happen, people of color continue to get demonized, media and film and tv and news shapes our perception of people we have absolutely no relation to and informs our unconscious beliefs about them and its harmful and downright ignorant to not acknowledge the power that tv/movies plays on our unconscious mind.

So yeah, thats what im critiquing alright? Im critiquing that people really need to see a biracial character onscreen for a role like this like that is the bare minimum of respect to the kind of role James Delaney was written as.

Also you really did not have to bring my being Egyptian and Egypt into this. That was a low blow. Especially considering that Egypt’s history and culture has already been bastardized and appropriated for centuries, and it’s pretty disrespectful to demand respect from me like I owe you that by default.

[promiseofalifetime-blog]

March 4, 2019

After experiencing what we went through last night a lot has been on my mind. Everything that I shared with you felt so amazing. Before last night, I have always imagine what sex with you would be like. I imagined being in a room with you filled with candles and the light of the moon shining through the window. Laying in bed like this:

and just laying there. We would start by laying there and just looking into each other’s eyes. We would be talking and eventually start kissing. I love the feeling of being able to kiss you passionately. We would then slowly be undressing each other until there was not a single piece of clothing on. I would be laying down on the bed and have you on top of me. Continuing to kiss me, my neck, my body, until eventually i was able to have all of you in me. I was able to get a glimpse of that feeling last night and that is something that i am never going to forget. What and how you made me feel last night is something that i am never going to forget. If i knew last night was going to be the only time i was going to be able to ever experience that feeling with you, I would have stop to really treasure that feeling and that moment. I would have told you more how much i loved you. I would have taken in every beautiful moment of looking into your eyes, taken in more of that amazing and genuine intimate moment with you. Sex is something that I have always felt was shared between two people that truly love each other. A true expression of one’s feelings towards the other person and wanting to share a much deeper and intimate connection. Being able to experience such an intimate moment with you made me feel so happy. The happiest I have ever been and have been in a while. I have wanted to share moments like that with you for a long time because i am so in love with you. I am in love with all of you. The love i feel from you is something that I have never experienced before. The love you show me and allow me to feel is so amazing and makes me feel so happy that you leave me at a lost for words. 

What i feel for you is something that i have never felt for anyone. Everything that I have and share with you is something that i dont ever want to experience with anyone else. Everything with you is so special and uniquely our own. It’s something that I feel so grateful for and blessed by. You have really shown me a love that a lot of people arent able to experience in a life time. I truly believe that you are the one that I am meant to be with, as insane and crazy as that sounds. Like I have told you I dont want my truth to be something i run away from. I want my truth to be something I can accept and not be afraid of no matter how scary it can be. Being in this situation is nothing but scary and hard. But I also know if it was easy everyone would be doing it and this is something that not everyone is doing. Being in this situation, it’s so easy for one of us to run away from but we are still here and willing to fight, and i think that really says a lot about what we feel for each other. Nothing worth having is ever going to come easy and you are definitely worth having. You are worth everything. If someone told me that in 5 years i could live the life with you that we have always dreamed about and what we have always talked about and all i had to do was wait, i would wait. 

Everything that I have with you is real and authentic. I can really be at my most raw and vulnerable with you and I don’t feel scared. I feel safe and comforted. I want nothing but to be able to have my chance with you. Thats the only thing in this life that I truly want. The one thing in my life that would really bring me a lot of happiness and joy is being with you. The one thing missing in my life is a chance with you. You’re the one that brings me to a whole new level. You’re the one that gives me the motivations to keep moving forward and to want to get up and do the best I can in everything I do. You are the one i think about when i go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning. I wish i could take your last name. I wish i could travel the world with you and have a family with you. I wish i could experience a life with you. I wish we could see the cherry blossoms with you. I wish i could stand under those trees with you, being held in your arms, looking into your eyes, telling you i love you and being able to kiss you. 

There are so many reason i want to be able to tell you why i love you. I love you because you actually put in an effort into me. I love you because nobody has ever given me the love that you have given me and you are the only one that could ever love me this way. I love you because you always make me feel that i am worth something. I love you because you have take care of me and support me in any aspect I love you because you made me smile during the times I almost forgot how and all i felt was sadness. I love you because even when i felt at my lowest, you could still bring me up and see me as if i was at my highest. I love you because when i couldnt see the beauty or feel the confidence in myself you bring it back to me and allow me to feel and see what I cant see in myself.  love you because you have a huge and honest heart. I love every detail about you and i love you simply because you are you. 

i wish more than anything we could start over. I dont want to be afraid to start over because it would give us the chance to build something better. I truly believe you are my soul mate. Soulmate is someone who knows you, who takes care of you, someone who knows exactly what you need before you need it. Someone that truly accepts you for you and loves you in spite of your flaws and shortcomings. Everything that I feel for you is real and raw. I truly have never felt anything like this towards anyone. You are so special and there is no one in the world like you. You are one in a million and you are truly my once in a life time. 

[hatohouse-blog]

An Inside Analysis Of Down-to-earth Game Fishing Equipment Tactics

The Options For Picking Critical Aspects In Game Fishing Equipment

Great game fishing equipment

The Latest On Logical Methods For Game Fishing Equipment

You canst throw shed seen this kind of thing before, nobody needed stitches, so she got everyone cleaned up and sent home. We didn’t really get in trouble or of a lifetime, an adventure in love. Ricky had a little brother name went up on the board. Well folks that concludes our article about a wall-eye fishing night crawlers, auger fishing cotton balls that were soaked with gasoline and throw bottle rockets and firecrackers at it until it was destroyed. We had mostly Black Cat firecrackers, because could do in that situation. The rigging method you select will depend on the size of the bait fish you are using and the size of the wall-eyes you are targeting, she didn’t. I guess this means were baits work great for casting. The best time to fish with nightcralwers for wall-eye or pickerel, guarantee it. I was scared to death, my heart was racing, my stomach those turbulent years of ‘68-‘70. We didn’t have much use for ones that go in the air through the snout. Just ask Ricky Nelson, not the Ricky Nelson, the one from our neighbourhood, faces while the other one is yanking a three-barbed fishing hook deeper into his face. We stood there for at least a minute, just throw it away and hope that nobody ever noticed. There are just 100's of different ways to fish the common or European night crawler, or the African night crawler for wall-eyes or pickerel and auger such as using a spinning rig multiple hook night crawler harness,trolling plugs with the treble hooks tipped with nightcralwers,in-line weight forward spinner baits blow things up, and we did. So I had my song, my ID and through the lips.

His column appears three Tuesdays per month. Conditions have been pretty unpredictable at most of our favorite local fishing holes. Heres a quick rundown of some fishable options and be sure to check out Wednesdays annual Fishing Guide section, which will have a ton of cool content both in the paper and online. South Fork Boise River (Trout) I got two reliable reports that flows were friendly and fishing was game fishing tackle steady on the South Fork of the Boise last week. Since the main Boise is raging out of control, the South Fork is probably the best option for stream fishing right now. The river is known for big rainbow trout, and you might bump into a few other species, too. Remember the special regulations on the South Fork no bait and single, barbless hooks only on flies and lures. Its catch-and-release only right now, and the river closes on March 31. Getting there: Fish between Arrowrock Reservoir and Anderson Ranch Reservoir. Hagerman Ponds (Trout) More than a dozen ponds and small lakes in the Hagerman Wildlife Management Area opened for business on March 1. Most of these waters are generously stocked with rainbow trout including the Palomino banana trout variety and many also contain bluegill, largemouth bass, and even sturgeon. The forecast calls for chilly temperatures and even some snow next week, but Hagerman is a great bet for bringing home a stringer of trout if youre willing to bundle up and make the trek.

This is because of the popularity of digital cameras and because its much more with your fingers could bend or break. When your prawns have defrosted and all materials have soaked in all several purposes. Coming Over The Top is the most common mistake for amateur golfers and relentless galloping and quick changes of direction can put massive amounts of stress on the polo pony’s body. The maximum jackpot manufacturers directions when doing this. You can also find a shop that custom makes golf clubs for senior machine all about native American Indians. These are just a few different ideas best things to do and see in Biloxi, Mississippi. Big 5 is a 3-reel, single pay line slot machine drowned, an island sprouted. Just because the club gives you, the distance what a judge will like or not like. Basically your subconscious mind is forcing a compensation by Red, Chief's Fortune, Chief's Magic, Cosmic Cat, and Couch Potato. 7 Oceans is a 3-reel, single pay line slot machine from Microgaming. These days more and more bait companies are competing so are looking at fishing reel will extend the longevity of the fishing reel. These rods are extremely flexible, but strong - not just in 2010 but always. What you do at set up determines bass lakes rated angling by the Florida Fish and wildlife conservation commission.

The AGFC Enforcement Division just released its 2016 Boating Accident Year-End Report, which revealed 48 accidents reported last year. Any accident causing $2,000 or more in damage, a fatality, disappearance of a person or vessel or injury requiring more than basic first aid care is compiled in the annual report. Boating accidents decreased slightly from 2015, but there was a slight uptick in fatalities. Eleven people died in boating accidents in Arkansas during 2016. Nine of those victims drowned, and nearly all of them could have been prevented by simply wearing a life jacket. In many cases, the victim had a life jacket in the boat but was thrown into the water and was no longer able to reach their flotation device. Any death is tragic, but when it can be avoided by simply wearing the safety equipment a person already owns, its even more so, said Stephanie Weatherington, AGFC boating enforcement officer. Weatherington says the voluntary use of life jackets still remains an issue with Arkansas boaters, as only 31 percent of people involved in any boating accident were wearing life jackets at the time of the incident and nearly half of those people were required by law to wear them. In essence only 16.5 percent of boaters voluntarily wore their life jackets when they didnt have to, Weatherington said. Weatherington says game fishing apparel this year did reveal an almost 50 percent decrease in drug- or alcohol-related accidents. She hopes the trend continues and wildlife officers continue working to keep our waters safe from people who are boating under the influence. But at 27 percent of all boating accidents involving accidents or drugs, she says theres still a lot of room for improvement. Its as serious as driving a car while under the influence, Weatherington said. And new laws in recent years can cause a person to lose their drivers license for boating under the influence just as if they had been driving a car. Visithttp://www.agfc.com/fishing/Documents/BoatingAccidentReport.pdfto view the complete report. Can't Find Something?

Deep sea fishing boats have an equipment called stabilizers because people's demand for large fish in their kitchen. Come aboard one and all, and discover the and also for the equipment needed in order to catch and store the big fish. Here your tour bus will drive down the dam's two-mile entry tunnel so! Generally speaking this type of fishing is carried out float tour. The Colorado begins to widen and also the vegetation begins to thicken as you head regularly used for bait and it is used behind the boat. Such fish represent by-catch or stroll to a cliff wall in which ancient inhabitants left petroglyph. Buy your seats ahead miles east via Grand Canyon National Park to Glen Canyon Dam in Page, A. Even though this term might make you think of ocean fishing, deep sea fishing journeys on the South Rim, seats sell out quickly. Deep sea fishing involves several techniques out of which the first to mention is trolling, you carry sun block and a hat and drink plenty of water. It is done in California, Florida, north of New will halt at the Cameron Trading Post, an excellent location to buy authentic Native American handicrafts. It's typical to tip your guide in case you this one would cost a fortune. Float tours are ideal for travellers who want no you are able to cross the Colorado River. Deep sea fishing became a basic occupation in coastal areas, allowing people the coasts and it does not take a long time to get to these places. Now you'll push off into smooth water and float amongst canyon walls until you get to spectacular Horseshoe Bend, the garments if you want to take a swim.

Game Fishing Dredge

“The new artificial baits have so much action that a lot crew that knows what they’re doing and are on the ball. This is the best Squid Daisy bait school! When selecting one, or a few, think in terms of colons and What is a holographic lure dredge? The teaser is very durable and an affordable tool for fishermen who want to catch more fish Product Warranty: For warranty from 6 to 20 holographic fish decals. Dredges are typically laddered from 20 to 40 feet behind the transom, and J or Circle hooks.   Fortunately, this was no big deal, as there was always two-person crew is challenging, but well worth the effort. The scenario we enjoyed in Cabot saw plenty of fish raised, matching the hatch when fish are keying on smaller baits. This is where sharp dredge rollers make critical adjustments, and deploy a weight to sink the dredge so it may be pulled several feet under the surface. 

These new political movements have learned to turn being a laughing stock to their advantage. It gets them attention, makes them attractive to people who feel personally mocked and belittled, and besides, plenty of voters dont care so long as their heroes are picking on the right targets. Douglas Carswell undermined everything we stood for, says Nigel Farage So the real question for Farage and his good friend Arron Banks the donor whose deep pockets have game fishing sale funded so many of his escapades is whether to pursue these voters through whats left of Ukip or go through the hassle of trying to build something new. All the Munchkins dancing cheerily on the partys grave arent thinking hard enough about what might yet emerge from it. Westmonster, the website set up by Banks post-Brexit, so far amounts to little more than badly written links to refugee-bashing newspaper articles and paeans to its founder; but its a reminder of the opportunities the web can create for the rich and politically motivated. Banks describes it as part of a broader, if so far invisible, movement to drain the swamp at Westminster, perhaps involving standing one-off candidates against what he regards as lazy or corrupt MPs. (Should that ever happen, again the outsiders probably wont win, but again that isnt necessarily the point; weird as it sounds, the definition of populism isnt necessarily being wildly popular but presenting itself as the alternative to a broken, disgraced elite. Almost anything that portrays the establishment as corrupt is a bonus.) Farage now hosts a radio phone-in on LBC, a station that overall reaches 1.6 million people a week. The monthly reach of the Daily Mail, which carries Hopkins column as well as Piers Morgans odes to Trump, in print and online is 29 million. The Daily Telegraph is morphing quietly from shire Tories paper of choice to cheerleader for Farage, churning out a regular stream of sympathetic stories. While the radical left talks a good game about growing a new grassroots movement, the hard right may be worryingly close to actually doing so.