#that's not how things work between people and we're no longer in high school

[ornstein]

.

[denial-permanente]

You often mentioned that to start off Etsy/ Amazon etc offer cheap Chinese copies of devices which are good to get an idea of what fits.

My thought has always gone to the health risk that there is in buying anything that comes from China and is cheap. Do you have any advice on how to avoid stuff made of harmful plastics/covered in toxic chemicals?

🔏 Okay, buckle in, we're going for a ride.

Very few people in our consumer society know how anything is made. I'm not joking. Even the simplest items most of us buy are mass produced. When I was growing up, most kids had been to "the factory in town" on a class trip to see things produced. I have seen dozens of different kinds of things being made, from baked goods, to bottled soft drinks, to wine, and of course, to manufactured goods (consumer and industrial products). Now, nobody sees these anymore, and no body gets to have any underlying k edge of how things are made, or how good, ie, quality products differ from crappy consumer items. Hell, most schools no longer have regular shop class anymore (I'm told it's a liability 🙄).

All that is a lead up to this: most consumer driven products (like plastic chastity cages) coming from China are cheap because a) they did not have to so k any mo ey I to development costs, and b) the products are cheap enough so that most people don't care if it breaks, and c) most people can't tell the difference between an okay product and a high end one. A $10 crappy product might have sharp edges and burrs, while an okay $30 product won't. But few people will notice or care about the difference between the $30 cage and the $130 or even the $300 cage.

Now, that said, I am wearing a Chinese made A272 cage that I bought about seven or eight years ago, and have been wearing steadily (and now permanently) since. Did I get lucky? Maybe. I've bought other Chinese stainless steel cages just to test them out, and most were junk. And even this particular cage came with a crappy knockoff Burg Wachter ME/2 barrel lock. I ended up buying a few more, better quality locks as backups.

Okay, I got that off my chest. 😅

Here's the problem with buying those cheap Chinese cages: you can't tell what you're getting. The Cobra knockoffs have been reported to have color dye that irritates some people. The locks will probably need to be replaced with decent ones. The molds will probably leave the cages with sharp edges that could irritate sensitive skin. And don't even get me started on the quality of the plastic. Many years ago I bought a cage that was advertised as stainless steel. The cage was, but the rings were cheap metal with chrome plating. That would have been a major reaction for a lot of other guys.

So while I do suggest that some people experiment with the cheap cages in order to get a feel for what works, I also follow that up with suggesting that when they figure out what works, to use that information to help pick out a quality cage. A few months in and out of a crappy cage will probably not poison you; the harmful chemicals in those plastics are fairly well bound up.

And until Consumer Reports starts reviewing them, then about the best you can hope for is reading the various discussion groups to glean whatever information you can.

[pastafossa]

Happy Birthday and a merry 6 years to TRT! 🎂 🎁 🎈 🎉 🍰

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

Some FUN TRIVIA FACTS:

TRT's sun sign is VIRGO and its moon sign is LEO!

After 6 years, its current wordcount is 932k words. If you put that in size 12 arial font, single-spaced, this would come to about 2000 pages, and even more if the pages were the usual mass market paperback size!

TRT is now 40 in cat years!

The Man in the White Coat is my tribute to the Mad Scientist trope common in scifi, which is one of my favorite genres!

It is old enough developmentally to tie its shoes! Keep going, TRT!

Ciro is partially inspired by John Marcone from The Dresden Files!

TRT shares a birthday with literary great Agatha Christie! Maybe I'll introduce poison-based murder into the fic in her honor...

The idea of seeing threads came to me after seeing a meme about red threads tying soul mates together. Everything that came after - the other threads, the thread world, how it works, is unique to TRT!

TRT is now longer than War and Peace, and Crime and Punishment combined! So if you've read all of TRT so far, then you have the perfect middle finger to anyone who tries to say you can't focus on longer stories!

The inciting penguin documentary that Foggy drunkenly watched (which led to him declaring Matt and Jane 'penguins') was about Adelie penguins specifically!

Jane has a leather jacket because I love leather jackets and think all badass characters should have a leather jacket! And so you should you! EVERYONE DESERVES A COOL LEATHER JACKET.

The long hiatus between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 was because I had life things pop up. During that hiatus, I realized the plotline/ending needed some work, so I spent those two years outlining, and I also wound up doing a bunch of additional novel writing classes just because I wanted to learn. A lot of this wound up influencing TRT!

The grey threads are one of the only threads that no one has solved yet!

There are absolutely some bad people working for Cyrus James. There is also a guy named Kyle. He is there not for Evil Purposes (tm) but instead because this was the only place he could work that would allow him to pay off his student loans.

When I started TRT, I thought maybe 5 people total would read it. I was told five people total would read it by some shitty people. So I wrote it expecting five total people would read it, and told myself at least I'd enjoy it, and I could use it to learn. In other words: I had ZERO idea TRT would take off like this. None. Nada. Zip. AND LOOK AT US NOW, BABY. FUCK THE HATERS, 6 YEARS AND GOIN' STRONG.

Based on my outline, we're a bit over halfway to the end!

I hope you enjoyed these TRT funfacts. And I hope you know: this fic isn't just me. It's you, too. This fic has become so much larger than just me. It's the TRT playlist you've sent songs in for that keeps me inspired when writing. It's the fanart I look at to give me a boost. It's your sweet comments and likes and kudos and messages that encourage me when I'm sick or depressed. It's the people who've made friends over this fic, or who've been inspired to write fic themselves, adding beautiful works to the community that we all use to keep going. It's all of this love for both TRT and Matt, and I'm so happy that I've been able to contribute in at least a small way in keeping Charlie!Daredevil love alive even after the show's been gone for years now. I love you all so, so goddamn much. I love this fandom. I love TRT with all my heart. Thank you so much for being a part of these past six years through cancelations, through your high school and college years and beyond, through my ups and downs of moving and sickness and fiberglass and pandemic craziness, through late night chapter drops and wild twists and turns.

And I hope the next few years as we enter the second half of this story are just as amazing!

[animeyanderetalker]

Hi not a request just a few questions if that’s ok ^^

In a crossover yandere poly way who you think would get along with each other the most by sharing their darling?

I think Yato and Naruto would get along same with Luffy and natsu

Naruto positive attitude would definitely match Yato but if Naruto delusional it could either make Yato delusional “that of course reader didn’t forget them their just been busy , they not all there today , reader just tired” or it could lead to arguments and jealousy since Naruto doesn’t have to worry if he becomes forgotten like Yato does.

Natsu and Luffy both happy , love to eat and likes adventures reader might possibly be the safest person around ? Ones a literally demon dragon and the other one fights overlords for breakfast XD or maybe not if their don’t like to share 👀

For the people I don’t think would get along possible Sebastian and Sukuna both demons who probably won’t like to share their mate?

love to hear your thoughts ^^

I have watched so much Anime that I am sure that I will have overlooked some characters in here. I'll start by elaborating on the few ideas you have mentioned already:

Naruto & Yato

I think Yato would definitely feel jealous still, especially since Naruto isn't a god in the way Noragami has established gods to be which means that reader would be able to see the blonde boy whilst Yato will remain still as the overlooked one. If we're assuming that Naruto genuinely respects Yato and is sharing a darling with him, I actually think he would make it worse even if he has good intentions. As you have already mentioned, he would try to cheer up by assuring him that you probably just had a busy day or are too tired but that would make Yato feel only worse in the longer run even if he would try to believe Naruto's words. He's lived too long after all to deny the truth.

Natsu & Luffy

There are definitely a lot of similarities between those two though considering that Luffy is a pirate and Natsu has a very strong motion sickness, he'd spend entire journeys just being sick if he were to ever get on a ship though the mage would do it for you without hesitating. I actually think how well this would work depends on Luffy since he is actually more specific with the people he would be willing to share with. You have to keep in mind that this is a guy who deadass forgets people if they do not leave an impression on him though that's not something that would happen with Natsu. I think it could work and Luffy would for sure be excited with the aspect of traveling through Natsu's world and discovering new things but I also think that he would at times get unpleasant flashbacks if he sees Natsu using his fire magic since Ace used flames as well.

Midoriya & Tanjiro

Two delusional sweethearts who would do absolutely everything for their darling. Both are quite altruistic and have chosen a life where they fight to protect people from the danger existing within their respective verses and would give the world to their darling and would protect them no matter what. Additionally I can fully see Izuku being respectful to Nezuko without thinking of her as any danger which would instantly take care of one potential conflict Tanjiro would otherwise have with him.

Itadori & Ichigo

They'd probably be instant friends if I have to be honest because I can genuinely see both of them vibing together if they were to ever cross paths. Both were living a normal life after all before shit went down in high school for them and they were sucked into a world previously unknown to them. Between Itadori and a literal shinigami, you are in safe hands and a shared relationship with those two would actually feel very normal because there is none of the delusional sweetness you'd receive in the relationships above, especially with someone like Midoriya. Whilst Itadori is also someone who is delusional he acts more casual about it whilst Ichigo is more aware of his feelings between the two of them but doesn't have to step up to stop Itadori from doing weird shit.

Nami & Lucy

Both of them unite because they're tired of playing babysitter for Natsu and Luffy and I bet sharing stories about the sheer stupidity of those two boys will make for a great bonding experience as both have definitely a lot to tell each other. They'd probably also show interest in each other's specialities so Nami would be amazed with Lucy's Celestial Keys whilst Lucy would be very keen for Name to tell her more about the maps she has already drawn as well as telling her more about the islands she has been on which would flatter Nami. Both are a smidge delusional but would still balance each other out because Nami is someone who at times would be more of a no nonsense type of person whilst Lucy would quickly appease her and help her to calm her ire. I can also alternatively see Nami & Erza working out but I genuinely think Erza would be at times a bit too intense with her scary aura even for Nami and would end up freaking her and you out at the same time.

[actuallyadhd]

Book: The Procrastination Equation Subtitle: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done Author: Piers Steel, PhD Publisher: Random House Canada Year: 2010

This isn't going to be a really formal book review or anything, I just thought I'd provide you guys with the pertinent information, in case you want to read it yourselves. :)

So, basically, Piers Steel is an industrial psychologist who specializes in procrastination. He teaches at the University of Calgary, in the Haskayne School of Business. He started studying procrastination because he procrastinated, so once again we have an expert who used his own problems to influence his studies. :D

The procrastination equation isn't a real equation - that is, it's not something you can plug actual numbers into and figure out what your procrastination number is. It's more of a theoretical approach to the definition of procrastination, that explains how and why people procrastinate. Written as a mathematical equation, it looks like the picture at the top of this post.

In other words, what we expect to receive for a task, multiplied by its intrinsic value (to us), all divided by how impulsive we are times how far away the due date is, equals how motivated we are to actually work on the task in question. The less motivated we are, the more we're going to put it off. This is why so many post-secondary papers are written the night before they're due: the papers are assigned months ahead of time, there is no certain expectancy of a good grade, and young adults are rather impulsive and don't really like working hard on things anyway. So the motivation to write the paper is really low until just before it's due.

One of the things I found really interesting about this book was the stuff about how brain function affects procrastination. Basically, it's the conflict between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex that buggers us up. In reading about this, I kept thinking to myself, "he's describing ADHD!" but he never uses the term once, in the entire book.

The limbic system is the part of our brain that makes us do things when we want to do them. It's basically the seat of impulsivity. (Oh, by the way, he uses the word "impulsiveness" throughout the book. I prefer "impulsivity," even if my spell checker doesn't believe it's a word.) The limbic system is perfect for a hunter-gatherer society. Of course, evolution means that we are always perfectly designed for the environment we no longer live in. :)

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that deals with executive functioning. It's where we make plans, follow through on plans, and all that other great stuff that is basically contrary to the nature of the limbic system.

On to the practical stuff...

First there was a self-assessment quiz (it's in chapter two, if you decide to read the book). People procrastinate because they have low expectancy, low value, or high impulsivity. As it turns out, my problem is mostly with impulsivity. In other words, I postpone doing things until the last minute because other stuff keeps catching my attention. I do the other things first, not because I don't think the first tasks are important (value) or will pay off in the end (expectancy) but because whatever it is that I end up doing instead is just way more interesting in the moment--long-term thinking just isn't my strong suit. (I'm pretty sure this is due to ADHD because I would always do all the research for a paper right when it was assigned, and then sit on my notes and let things percolate until the night before it was due. So I'd be completely prepared for the assignment and not complete it, even though I had everything I needed in order to do so.)

Chapters 7-9 are the ones that have the actual practical approaches to combat procrastination. I took notes on all of them, but of course not all of them are techniques that are going to be useful for me. I'm going to copy my notes anyway, though, because some of you guys might get something out of it, too. :)

Each bold header below has to do with a reason for doing something; the italicized sub-headers are the names of the ways you can deal with problems in that area, and are followed by explanations of how the methods work.

Expectancy

Success Spirals (+)

Set an ongoing series of challenging but ultimately achievable goals; maximize motivation and make the achievement meaningful.

Think of an area of life of real interest and strive to improve just a little beyond your current skill set.

Break town the tasks that daunt you into smaller and smaller pieces. Keep formal track of your progress. Count your successes.

Vicarious Victory (+)

Find an inspirational role model and/or a positive social peer group.

Seek inspiration from stories or others; it is easier to believe in yourself if you are surrounded by people who believe in themselves--or you!

Join a community, service, or professional organization.

Start your own support group; can be anyone, as long as it is mutually encouraging friends.

Wish Fulfillment (+)

Visualization, either mental contrasting (what you want vs what you have) or creative visualization (what you want, as per The Secret; not as effective as contrasting).

Think about the life you want; focus on just one aspect (break it down!); elaborate on what makes it attractive (e.g., diary, collage, quiet concentration); mentally contrast future with present, focusing on the gap.

Plan for the Worst, hope for the Best (-)

Rather than believing you can entirely and easily beat the problem of procrastination, believe that you can beat it down.

Determine what could go wrong, reflect honestly on past experiences, and ask for advice; list ways you habitually procrastinate and post it where you work; avoid pre-determined risks as much as possible; develop a recovery plan ahead of time; use the recovery plan.

Accept that You're Addicted to Delay (-)

Acknowledge powerlessness over procrastination: truly acknowledging that any single failure of willpower inevitably leads to the collapse of all your self-control gives you far more motivation than believing that occasional lapses can be safely contained.

Keep a daily log of procrastination habits; acknowledge that a weak will is the biggest problem, and "just once" is the beginning of the end; accept that the first delay justifies all the rest of them.

Value

Games and Goals

Finding the balance between the difficulty of your task and your ability to do it is a key component for creating flow, a state of total engagement.

The rist of procrastination diminishes when tasks are relevant, instrumentally connected to topics and goals of personal significance.

You need a string of future goals that you find intrinsically motivating to hook your present responsibilities onto.

Frame long-term goals in terms of the success you want to achieve (approach goal) rather than the failure you want to prevent (avoidance goal).

Make tasks more challenging; connect tasks to long-term goals (what you find intrinsically motivating); frame goals in terms of what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid.

Energy Crisis

Spoons (mental and physical).

Do difficult tasks at peak performance times; don't get hungry; exercise lots; make sleep predictable; respect your limitations.

You Should See the Task I'm Avoiding

Doing other things instead of the thing we're supposed to be doing - getting things done, but not the "right" thing.

Identify something you've been putting off, then things that are more enjoyable and do them instead/first.

Double or Nothing

Procrastinators tend not to reward themselves for getting things done.

Anticipated rewards make the work more enjoyable, which helps winning.

List rewards you can self-administer, promise yourself these rewards; consider ways of making tasks more enjoyable (pairing) without overriding the work.

Let Your Passion be Your Vocation

Finding work you want to do is a major step toward avoiding procrastination.

http://online.onetcenter.org/find/descriptor/browse/Interests

Look at careers involving activities you love or like doing; filter out all the occupations for which you don't possess skill or ability; rank by demand.

http://careervision.org

Impulsivity

Commit Now to Bondage, Satiation, and Poison

As you get closer to a temptation, your desire for it peaks, allowing the temptation to trump later but better options.

Throw away the key: eliminate the alternatives.

SatiationL meet your needs in a safe and managed manner before they intensify and take control (schedule recreational activities first, then add chores - "unschedule").

Try poison: punish failure.

http://www.stickk.com/

Identify your temptations, then...

Put them out of reach or far away;

Satisfy your needs first; or

Add disincentives to make them unattractive.

Making Paying Attention Pay

Inside out: pay attention please!

Frame in terms of abstract and symbolic features.

Ascribe negative qualities and consequences.

Outside in: now you see it, now you don't.

Regain stimulus control by making it harder to access or even notice the temptations.

Declutter and replace the clutter with triggers for tasks you usually procrastinate on.

Make workplace a cue by working until motivation disappears; then go elsewhere to goof off (this could be just another profile ont he same computer so you have to log off and back in if you are going to goof off).

Use covert sensitization to make distractions less inviting; focus on abstract aspects of temptations; eliminate cues; replace distraction cues with work-related cues; compartmentalize work and play as much as possible.

Scoring Goals

The finish line is just ahead.

Set corporeal goals with real deadlines, use mini-goals to get started on a task, structure the goals so that they are appealing (i.e., inputs [time invested] vs outputs [what's produced]).

Full automatic.

Intentionally adopt a routine; make an explicit intention to act (if-then is pretty good for this).

Frame your goals in specific terms so that you know precisely when you have to achieve them; break down long-term goals into a series of short-term objectives; organize your goals into routines that occur regularly at the same time and place.

"Optimal self-control involves not the denial of emotions but a respect for them."

[allwormdiet]

Arc 2: Insinuation, Concluding Thoughts

God, was this arc just one day? You're telling me it's only been like 72 hours since the start of the story and where we're at now? It feels like so much more somehow, so I guess let's get digging

Let's do the broad strokes and then go chronological through the chapter details, I don't have any kind of structure or template for this stuff but that's as good a way as any right here

I know there's so much fucking ground left to cover, but at this point I think I'm confident enough to say that I like Worm. I don't know if I'd recommend it to a friend, exactly, because I think it's rude to trick someone into reading more than a million words and also because the list of content warnings I'd have to provide up front would run longer than my forearm (I knew what I was in for going in but I also made this choice mostly independently), but I feel like there's a difference between liking a work and recommending that work to others. I think Midsommar is one of the best horror movies I've ever seen, but it also removed all the oxygen from the living room where I watched it via sheer oppressive malice so I don't really tell people "oh you should watch Midsommar," y'know what I mean?

(I don't actually know if Worm is at any point going to fill me with the same kind of yawning dread that Midsommar inflicted, so this might not be an even parallel to draw, but I'm not going to completely dismiss the possibility)

More on topic though. No fight scenes this time, but that left more room for delicious and filling character interactions. I'm so on board with the Undersiders so quickly, I love them all, the things they're going to be made to suffer are going to agonize me for years to come I think.

It also left more room for Taylor's day at Winslow High, and... okay we'll get there. Let's do this chronologically.

The Hebert family feels like it's a broken heart in the shape of a house. I wish that they could reconcile with each other, but I don't know if they manage that, or if they even can manage it. I think Annette's death tore a wound between them that never fully healed, or maybe it was on the mend before Taylor started getting bullied and now that process has just stalled out

...Speaking of which

Winslow High is a fucking pit. Like Jesus fucking Christ that was so agonizing to read. Everyone at this school feels either useless or brimming with malice, and for the life of me I cannot puzzle out why. I mean, okay, I get the mechanisms at least, the main three girls are popular and Sophia is a Ward and with that together they can bend the students and faculty around like putty, people are often willing to go along with a heinous status quo if rocking the boat puts a target on their back, yadda yadda. But just. What the hell is going on with the main three girls? You could maybe read Sophia as some kind of sadist, but that doesn't explain why she's taking to this with such gusto, and I don't know if this kind of behavior wouldn't be caught out by the Protectorate if she's acting like this around other Wards. Madison I don't even know, so far I don't actually know if there's any meaningful depth there beyond acting as a complementary force to the other two.

Emma, though. Fucking Emma. I was just talking in an aside about how I distrust any argument that paints a mostly realistic teenager as some kind of soulless monster or evil mastermind, and I'm trying really hard to cleave to that, but I just don't get what drives Emma to behave like this, how she justifies it in her own head. She's torturing her best friend, she triggered her power's awakening for God's sake, and I just don't know what can happen in a week or month that could ever make this explicable or justifiable. Maybe I'll learn something that makes it all make sense but for now it's just some kind of incomprehensible monument of cruelty

That last twist of the knife with the line about crying to sleep at night is also just. God. Like, fucking credit to Wildbow, I feel some amount of stress writing about this all like the day after reading it, that was a really really well written sequence, I just also hated every word of it.

Let's change to a happier topic

Love the Undersiders, they're all great. I love that Brian works so hard to meet on a level playing field, to be open about expectations and show vulnerability to make Taylor feel more welcome, and I like how he seems to take pride in being The Normal & Responsible One even though I somehow doubt that's the case. I love Lisa being so friendly and so quick to assure Taylor about what's going on and what it all means for her, and I literally can't stop thinking about what she must be reading off of Taylor with her powers. Alec is a snarky little snot and I love that about him, I really want to see him open up further. And then Rachel... oh Rachel. You might end up being my favorite once we manage to move past the whole "siccing dogs on the new teammate" thing.

And now Taylor's a part of the crew, and she's immediately second-guessing this decision because she's realizing that it had deeper repercussions than she'd initially thought! Like she already felt betrayed by all of them over a slight from Rachel, even though her entire goal of joining them is as a means to take them down from the inside and hand them over to the Protectorate, and that irony is absolutely not lost on her! She's terrified of being found out as a rat but still lets herself be vulnerable around these people in a way she hasn't even allowed her dad to see, and before the Undersiders he was basically the only person she still trusted for anything.

This is like, either the best or worst decision of Taylor's life, I dunno which. I'd like to think best. I'd really like it to be best.

And I think I already said this but I could gorge myself on just reading about the Undersiders fighting and growing and bonding together for the entire length of this story, and I want it so bad, and I'm not getting it until I dig up the appropriate fanfiction to that end so I'm just gonna have to cope with that

Basically fell in love with Victoria the moment I met her, I wish her the best and hope she learns to cut down on the accidental spine-breaking (if she breaks a spine on purpose they probably deserved it)

Amy... at this point I mostly just feel bad for Amy. She's gonna do bad things and a lot of it's gonna be her own damn fault but somehow I doubt she was born a monster.

New Wave in general I get weird vibes from. Like the Protectorate are cops, yeah, and cops suck no matter the uniform, but New Wave does it with nobody watching over their shoulders to check their work except for each other, and we see in their first on-page appearance how that's kinda fucked up!

...Like the guy was a Nazi so fuck him, but I don't have full faith it'll be a Nazi every time, y'know? God knows there's every chance Glory Girl or Brandish or whoever else decides to play this kind of hardball with someone a lot less guilty and a lot more sympathetic

And then speaking of the repercussions of Taylor's actions, again I'm looking at the threat of destabilization and gang warfare facing the Docks and wondering how much of the story's escalating danger is going to be a natural response to her deeds. Somehow I don't think Leviathan's attack is going to be Taylor's fault, or that she called up the Slaughterhouse 9, but she keeps making calls that are good but have unintended and dangerous consequences.

Call me crazy but I don't think I'm gonna like what those consequences look like when she acts to save the world. I'd rather she be happy than the world's greatest hero, but she wasn't even happy before she became a cape, so. Maybe she gets a legacy in the doing.

If that falls through I guess I'll just go read more fanfic.

[richincolor]

Interview with Olivia Abtahi

Olivia Abtahi, author of contemporary novels Perfectly Parvin and Azar on Fire, just released a new book and this time it's a fantasy. We're so glad that she was willing to answer a few questions about Twin Flames.

Summary: On estranged twins Leila and Bianca's eighteenth birthday, Leila suddenly gains a djinn's superpowers, and the twins realize that their town can only survive the djinns' secret plans if they learn to work together as sisters. An action-packed YA fantasy!

Twins Bianca and Leila could not be more different from each other. Being both Argentinian and Iranian in a small town has always been hard, but with Leila shunning her heritage and Bianca embracing it, the two walk very different paths. They run in different circles of friends, and barely talk anymore. Leila's a homebody who loves to craft and plans on marrying her high school sweetheart. Bianca's more anti-establishment and plans to get out of Dodge as soon as humanly possible.

But on their eighteenth birthday, the neighbor's barn mysteriously burns down. When Leila encounters a monster arising from the fire, a djinn, suddenly she gains strange powers--and can no longer touch iron.

What do these djinn want with Leila--or other people in town, for that matter? Can the twins learn to rely on each other--and their cultures--to banish them? It'll take a sisterly reconciliation for the girls to find out and to save their hometown in this New Visions Award-winning fantasy adventure.

Thank you so much for sharing with us today. Your bio says that you’ve been devouring books since your school days. What kind of books moved you or influenced you when you were a young adult?

Hi Crystal! I read a lot of sci-fi and fantasy as a kid. I was up to my eyeballs in Dune and Ender’s Game in middle and high school. A book I loved was The House of Scorpion by Nancy Farmer and I was obsessed with the Sabriel series by Garth Nix!

Can you tell us a little bit about your filmmaking and how that and writing novels are related or ways that they are different?

I think they are similar in that they are both storytelling mediums. It feels like the same part of my brain is being exercised, just with a different tool. The freeing thing about writing though is that I don’t have to convince anyone to tell my story with me; all I need is a word processor or a pen and paper. With film, you need a lot of outside buy-in to make it happen, and I didn’t have the temperament for that.

I just finished reading Twin Flames and really appreciated the dynamics between the twins. How do you typically arrive at your characters and what did you enjoy about Bianca and Leila?

Bianca and Leila, are, at their heart, just different sides of my myself. For better or worse, I am a character-driven author. I have to picture the protagonists in my head before I can really put words to paper. For Bianca and Leila I would scour IMDB to find actresses who embodied what I was going for and took it from there. I loved writing Bianca’s snark, but I loved writing Leila’s hopes and dreams as well. They were really fun to bounce between.

Bianca and Leila encounter a wide variety of djinn. Were they all types you were familiar with or did this involve some research?

I feel like I barely scratched the surface on all the types of djinn! The sleep paralysis djinn was one I had grown up with (I had it often as a child) but others were in my periphery, I had just never looked them up. Also, the ones I grew up with are unique to Southwest Asia and North Africa, while there are even more in Southeast Asia. It’s pretty cool and I loved researching them and even got scared at times reading about people’s run-ins with djinn!

Do you have any interesting tidbits that you wanted to include in the book, but had to leave out for any reason?

So many. This was the first book I ever wrote and I really had to kill my darlings! A lot of the things I had to remove were family scenes, from an in-depth analysis of the spark plug issue their father was working on, to the reason why their mother had to leave Argentina. There are pages and pages of backstory that just never made it in, along with some even creepier djinn.

Your own family of origin was similar to that of the twins. Were there specific challenges or rewards in writing something that mirrored your own life in that way?

For sure. A lot of the time I would just ask myself “Do I need to explain this?” From having the feast of seven fishes at Christmas, even though the mom is Argentinian, to explaining what Esfand herbs were. Taking off their shoes at the door, pickling things at home…these were all moments where I wasn’t sure if I should expand on them because they were just unspoken truths in my upbringing. Sometimes, writing what you know is even harder!

Is there a question you wish I had asked about the story or your writing process?

The title. I didn’t realize that “Twin Flames” was such a huge part of people’s spiritual beliefs. I had just wanted to write a book about twins who literally had djinn flames inside of them. Whoops.

What is next in your writing journey? 

I have a picture book publishing in January called THE INTERPRETER. It follows Cecilia, a girl who is torn between her normal life of being a soccer-loving kid, and her not-so-normal life of interpreting English to Spanish for her parents. It is very close to my heart!

Thanks again for taking the time to answer questions about Twin Flames. We're glad it's out in the world for people to enjoy. 

Growing up in the DC area, Olivia devoured books and hid in empty classrooms during school to finish them. Her debut novel, Perfectly Parvin, was published in 2021, receiving the SCBWI Golden Kite Honor, YALSA Odyssey Honor, and numerous starred reviews. Her sophomore novel, Azar on Fire, was published in August 2022 and a SLJ pick. Olivia's third novel, Twin Flames, is a New Visions Award winner. She currently lives in Denver, Colorado, with her husband and daughter.

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

unhinged infodump incoming:

so I had the classic 'strangely gay middle/highschool best friendship that turned weirdly controlling and damaging and toxic for both parties and altered you forever' (if you don't know what this is I can't help u). We've long since blocked each other on Facebook, and she's completely off-grid on all other social media. When we were still in high school we made a joke FB account for her dog, which I had the login for. So every now and again (like legit every 2 years or so I mean) I log in and see like, idk what her life is like, because I was literally a part of her FAMILY so it's just..... strange having no idea if she's even alive or what state she lives in?

So anyway I did that the other day. And I learned she went to grad school and worked in forensics & now therapy for people in jail, which is just sOOOO out of left field from how her lifelong dream when I knew her was becoming a vet. I saw she was engaged. And I saw a very bland exchange between her and the girl who "stole" her friendship from me, who she was inseparable with in high school and college, and it was clear even they were strangers who never thought about each other. And so it's just....... idk I've had feuds and falling-outs with people before, but I still Exist to them in that they're very much addicted to paying attention to me in some capacity and talking shit about me all these years later. Fan behavior etc. But it became so clear in that moment that I am no longer even a thought in this person's brain; that I haven't been in probably about a decade. This is someone who I had like. idk weird foundational gay experiences with and vice versa, who literally DEFINED the young portion of my life and is the beginning point of Where It All Went Wrong for me, and to her it's probably like I never existed.

I know how to be hated by people, but I don't know how to feel when the fire burns out. What does it mean to mean NOTHING to someone who used to be everything to you? I don't think about her for years at a time until I do these random check-ins, either. But my 5 year relationship ex and I, even, still share a phone bill, and are friends on Facebook or whatever. I talk about and bitch about him when I'm working through issues he created. Everyone in my life knows about him. not even out of hatred, just because... it's relevant sometimes? As is the case with any other ex-thing I have. We're all strangers, but we're strangers who still walk the same universe. This girl was my entire life in a passionate, burning Red (as they say), and now I am a someone who may as well not even be alive, and she wouldn't know the difference any more than if some random 73 year old man in Italy or somewhere dropped dead. You can't see everything from a person's socials, obviously, but to me the whole thing just read like I never existed at all. Does she talk about me like I'm Deep Awful Lore like I do her if it comes up? Does her fiancé know about whatever the fuck we were? Or does it not even register? Is our weird gay thing a deep dark secret that she locked away so hard even she forgot about it? I went to think to myself, "how can such a nasty bitch be a therapist????" and then I realized, when seeing the way her typing voice/style has changed DRASTICALLY, I couldn't name one fact about her personality anymore, and I didn't even have a right to consider asking that question. The same is true for her to me.

What a strange fucking feeling that I do not know how I will ever be able to place.

[sporesgalaxy]

While we're on the topic of trans stuff, I hope it's alright if I ask a question!!

I know you had long hair for a while, and that you ended up cutting it all off, and I'm just wondering how you felt about it? Did you have any anxiety beforehand? How was it after?

Totally cool if you don't wanna answer ofc!! I hope ur doing okay :^)

Yes!! I was anxious, bc I wasn't sure how it'd look! But since a friend of mine was the one cutting it, when the moment finally came I had an attitude of like "well, we're making silly memories! who cares!" So it ended up being a lot of fun!

But I'd wanted short hair for YEARS before that, and for YEARS I was unable to work up the nerve to go ask a professional hairdresser to cut it. Didn't help that some family was politely discouraging me, but whatever. Point is, I had a lot of time to get used to/learn to fight off the anxiety lol, and in my experience waiting longer just kept me unhappy and uncertain longer!

The thing I tried to keep in mind is that hair grows back!! you can always grow it out longer again if you don't like it. Yes it will look awkward for a while if you do that, but to me it was worth finding out if I liked it shorter than I'd ever tried before! And I'm so glad I cut it now! If I'd never taken the chance, I'd never have known how much I like it this short!

Ok I'm going to ramble some more about the specific Functional and Sensory benefits I've found short hair had compared to long hair, for me anyways, but this is already quite long so. readmore upon ye

•••

People may tell you "ohh you'll have to fix your hair and put product in it every day when its short" but what they DONT tell you is that it is SO MUCH EASIER TO FIX YOUR HAIR WHEN THERE IS WAY LESS HAIR TO FIX!!

I can dump like 2 cups of water on my head and its wet, and it dries in like 30 minutes. Combing it is SUPER fast, slapping some pomade in it or whatever is quick n easy. "Fixing my hair every day" was a MAJOR factor in me being intimidated out of cutting it in high school, BUT IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN!!! I was FOOLED!!

Ummm ahh what else. I was worried I'd miss my long hair since I'd had it for so long and tended to fiddle with it a lot just to so aomething with my hands.

But from what I remember, I didn't miss much about my old hair after I cut it. I tend to like it being long enough on top to twirl between my fingers, and it wasn't at first so I missed that as a stim, but otherwise it really felt like getting rid of a burden!

I don't get it randomly tangled in things anymore, I don't have the Literal Weight On My Shoulders, I don't finding shedded hairs wrapped around things all the time, there is NOTHING in my face when I eat!!!!!!!!!! It has been MONTHS since I found one of my own hairs in my mouth!!!!! It is nigh impossible to get even the most treacherous pancake syrups in my hair!!!!!! It's amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also never DID anything with my long hair, because every time I tried anything more ambitious than a ponytail it would hurt my scalp more than I ever felt The Look was worth, so I didn't find myself missing any old hairdo possibilities either. I'm still not ambitious about styling it, but I don't have to be :) even for semiformal events :D it's awesome

[magniloquent-raven]

Nancy Wheeler is Aromantic, You Cannot Change my Mind

Am I aware what the Duffers were actually trying to do with her characterization/arc? Yes. Do I care? No. This reading is way more fun for me because I love projecting lmao, so here we go.

The first two seasons of Stranger Things spent a lot of time telling us that Nancy was in the midst of an internal conflict. She's a teenager, she's figuring out who she is. Ostensibly, her choice is between conforming, dating the popular guy who makes her do things like, gasp, drink beer and go to parties, or not caring what other people think, dating the guy she has more in common with even though he's not "socially acceptable." People are constantly telling her that she isn't herself around Steve. That she's changing in order to be with him. She's lying to herself.

But that choice between popular guy and outcast loser goes out the window when Steve throws away everything to be with her. He ditches his friends, he gets replaced. He's now also the target of harassment by "popular kids." So what exactly is Nancy hiding from here. What is safer about choosing Steve.

Well.

She has to tell herself that she loves Steve, that she always did, because if she didn't then she gave up her virginity for shallow reasons. She slept with someone just because she liked how he looked. Like a slut.

She was always terrified of being seen this way, she was scared Steve would tell people they slept together, and despite how little interest she had in being around Steve after they had sex, she was scared to admit to herself that she'd already gotten everything she wanted from him. So she tried to make it work, and ultimately it hurt both of them.

(And can I just say, as an aromantic person, it is sometimes very difficult to conceptualize what romance is like for other people. I genuinely think Nancy had no idea how much Steve cared about her, and she wasn't thinking about how much she hurt him because it's just not something she understands. I speak from experience, breaking up with people who are way more invested in your relationship that you ever could be is...really difficult and weird.)

So, when her choice is no longer between being accepted in a high school popularity hierarchy or not, it becomes more about her conforming to societal standards or not. Does she choose the guy who wants to settle down and have kids and the whole white picket fence thing or...what. What exactly is different about Jonathan. He once said "screw that" to the idea of starting a nuclear family in some suburb?

I think what's different about Jonathan is that he's not constantly telling her he loves her. Steve seemed to say it...often. Just. Out of the blue. He liked to verbalize it, and he wanted her to do the same. Correct me if I'm wrong but Jonathan and Nancy have never once exchanged on-screen "I love you"s, as far as I can remember. Yeah they have their "that's why I love them" speeches in s4 but that's not the same. Loving someone isn't the same as wanting to be romantic with them. It's about expectations, and Jonathan's seem to be very different than Steve's were.

And while we're on the topic of expectations, I think the fact that her parents never loved each other really doesn't help when it comes to her difficulty figuring out what she wants and why. She explicitly said she doesn't want her life to be like that, she's seen it and she's come to expect unhappiness in a relationship with no romantic attachment.

So she tries her hardest to find something real. Something different. She likes spending time with Steve, she's attracted to Steve, and he definitely loves her, so maybe this is her opportunity to build a life better than her mother's. Except it just doesn't feel right. She likes kissing him but when he wants to date her, when he tries to communicate feelings, it makes her uncomfortable. And she feels shitty about it, it feels shitty when someone is being nice to you but you kind of hate it. But she already slept with him, so she feels obligated to make it work. Only that implodes, because of course it does.

Then she self-sabotages with Jonathan too. She ignores his feelings when she wants to chase a lead in s3. She basically forgets she has a boyfriend when she starts to notice that Steve's still hot in s4. And then she doesn't talk to Jonathan at the end of the season, about anything. There's no conversation about how distant they've been. I don't know exactly what direction this is going to go in s5 but the way I see it right now, she's realizing that despite being more comfortable with Jonathan she's just not built to be in a relationship like this.

She keeps choosing to be in relationships though. Choosing to date Steve when Jonathan was preoccupied taking care of Will at the end of s1. And again, choosing to toe the line with Steve in s4 when Jonathan's not around. And obviously there's societal pressure for a teenage girl to care about romance, she's been conditioned to think this shit should matter, but also. More importantly:

She's traumatized.

This was after her first real encounter with a demogorgon, it stands to reason that being hounded by this shit for years wouldn't make her less traumatized, especially since she's prone to bottling up her feelings.

In my personal opinion, Nancy is so intent on being in relationships in part because she has a hard time being by herself, especially at night. She couldn't wait a couple months for Jonathan to come talk to her about their relationship because that meant she was spending a couple months sleeping alone. We see in s3 that she sleeps over at Jonathan's, and the way the Joyce completely fails to act surprised by the lipstick on Jonathan's cheek—even though Nancy supposedly snuck in and out—kind of implies she does this often.

The long and the short of it is, I don't see her endless relationship drama as evidence that she's indecisive or flighty, I think she's aromantic and has no idea. She's trying to deal with her conflicting self-image. When we first meet her she has this idea of herself as some rule-following good girl, not the kind of girl who sleeps around, not the kind of girl who has impure thoughts and breaks people's hearts. She's not a slut, so she must love the guys she sleeps with. She's not her mother, so she must love the person she dates. She doesn't have any other frame of reference for love and relationships, so she keeps screwing up because she's trying to force herself into boxes she'll never fit.

---

shoutout to @thinger-strang ty for showing interest 😭💕💕 here's an essay lmao

[rynwayfarer]

A Letter from the Past/Dear Little Me

Hello my friend, It has been a while since we talked, How are you doing, Is your life going well?

We have come quite a ways, From when we were young, Quietly watching, Quietly alone.

I wonder if you are, Looking back on, These tiresome days, Do you miss them?

I'm sure that things, Have changed for you, Much more than, For myself.

Are you happy now? Or are your days, Bitter with tears? Have you found some one you love?

If so, I'm happy for you, I pray that they are good to you, That they treat you kind, And throw a few jabs now and then.

If not, don't fret, You will find them, They may be under your nose, Waiting for you to see them.

Where ever you are, I hope you are well, I hope you keep moving, Forward, always forward.

I look forward, To the day we meet, For surely we will, It is our fate.

But when I get there, Please look back, And remember where we've been, Remember me as I am now.

For these years, Must have changed you, Ten years will do that to a person. Best wishes,

You from ten years ago.

----------------------------------------------

Dear Little Me,

I can't believe it's already been ten years since you wrote to me. I finally got your letter. 

You know its funny, I always thought you had written a lot more, but I suppose you didn't really know what to ask back then. You did ask me some things of course, about love, about happiness, and if I missed the days you are living now.

To each and every one of them I can confidently answer yes; and no.

I did find love, a couple times, though I only asked one of them. And through them I learned what love truly felt like with no strings attached, no thorns, just someone who truly cared for me. They had a big heart, but they only had room for one person to love, and when they visited their old friend, well, I let them go because I loved them.

I also learned to love myself more. I know you probably think that's sappy an just a thing people say, but it's so important; and its a hard lesson to learn. I also learned that my way of loving is a bit different. I prefer companionship over the love you'd find on TV. A bit more on that later.

All that said, I also haven't found the love you asked me about. Right now I'm on my own, and for the time being, that's okay. I'm sure they are right under my nose like you said, but my heart is still freshly sore and not yet ready to try again. But when it is, I'm sure I'll find the one for me next time.

Like love I did find happiness too, I find myself happy with where I live, and the people I call my friends, and the artwork I do. But more than just happiness I found my other emotions too. 

I found anger for those that do wrong by me and those I care about, and those that think its right to hurt others. I found sadness in the distance between myself and those I love, and the relentless passing of time. I found joy in the games I play with my friends, the walks I take in the woods, and the music I listen to as I walk home from work. I found envy for what I don't have, fear of the future, disgust at the unjust.

I've laughed harder, screamed louder, cried longer. I've felt the world that used to make me numb, and all of it, the good and the bad, is wonderful.

You asked me if I missed the days you live in now. Or the ones you will live from here out. And sometimes I do. I miss the simplicity of our life, though I'm sure you would tell me our life was anything but simple; and you wouldn't be wrong. But we had a routine, we didn't need to worry about rent, or taxes, or crazy corporate overlords. Though I have no doubt those are coming up soon. You're almost in college after all. I miss the places that used to be so familiar to me. The streets I could walk blindfolded. The infinitely small town, which is not so small any more.

But I also like where I am now. I talk to our brother more, our other siblings too. We're seeing a concert next month. I have roommates I like. I still have my friends from high school, well some of them at least. I also have friends all over the world. People so far from me that seeing them feels like a pipe dream, and yet we're pretty close. And I have met one of them. You'd cringe so hard if you knew where I work, but I love the people I work with and it makes it bearable. I love that I have the freedom to do what I want, if I want, and I get to sleep in on my days off. So I do like where I am now for the most part.

You also talked about change, and boy have we changed in the last 10 years. Or rather I'm mostly the same but I understand things better than when I was you. I learned to fight for what I believe in, and speak my mind, and I'm much more outspoken. It makes me come off a bit brash, but I've found people who appreciate that side of me. I learned that I'm Asexual, which likely isn't a term you've found yet, but its exactly what you've been telling people all along, you just didn't know it yet. I started taking some meds, they make me not hate myself when I look in the mirror. I'm sure you'll be looking forward to that, though it does require patience. Which I know you have, but it will still take a lot of it. I have plants! I know you think you have a black thumb but honestly, we're doing okay with them. I did cosplay! I bet you think I'm crazy for it, but it was fun to try. I've had a couple of those "Just Jump" moments, and all of them were scary, and all of them were worth it. And I've kept moving forward just as you said I should.

10 years. From where I'm standing it seems so short, though I know you will have trouble perceiving it from your end. The journey was good. It was worthwhile. I'll see you when you get here.

Love: The Future

PS: To the me 10 years from now. It's my turn to ask questions. First and foremost I hope you're doing well, and I hope you'll tell me about yourself. Did we make it? Was it hard? Did we stumble? Did we get back up again? How's the weather? Are you still playing games? Are our friends still around? Are you still living in the same place? Are our siblings good? How about our parents? What are your hopes and dreams? I'll be there soon I'm sure, and you can tell me all about it.

[nebulousfishgills]

Emily with Henry and Emily with Caius please, I want to see where all the differences lie...

5, 7, 10, 11, 20, 26, 32 (idk if Twilight vampires can get drunk but just pretend), 38, 40, 46

Thanks for the numbers, bestie! I would have answered this sooner but I got rly busy all of a sudden lol. Also I knew answering this ask in full would take a while.* Anyways, two ships so we're gonna do two sections... so you bet your ass I'm adding a cut.

I'll do the tiny text as well to save room... and one meme/shitpost each for the lulz (featuring shoddy edits of FC Olivia Cooke as Emily) because I don't know where else to post these lol... I have many more beyond this if you're interested.

*It did, I was working on this for like, two and a half hours, probably longer...

Emily and Henry

5 - Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

Honestly, I can only think of one time off the top of my head where they had a really serious argument, and that was their famous "you're just being paranoid" "you're getting sucked in by these weird vampire people" fight. Other than that, maybe the occasional friendly squabble as kids over who cheated at chess and the like.

7 - How often do they say 'I love you?'

That depends on where in the timeline we are. When they're still trapped in the lab, very infrequently since they don't want Brenner suspecting they could be involved together in any way. When they sneak into each other's rooms, sure, maybe a couple times, but that doesn't happen that often. Post Upside-Down Banishment, I think the habit of not directly saying I Love You kinda carries over, but since they're more free to do and say what they want, it does happen a bit more frequently. They show love in other ways.

10 - Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

Their mutual desire to reshape the world and dislike of the human race lol. But in fairness to the question, they both like to draw, especially when they were the experiments and not the orderlies. They both like drawing what they see and what they hope to eventually see in their so-called perfect world. I have a headcanon that Emily keeps a sketchbook on her, even when she's poking around the high school in the Overworld. It's full of landscapes, portraits of Henry (partially so she remembers his human face), the occasional erratic Mind Flayer doodle, and the drawing of the Creel House she did as a child is taped to the inside back cover.

They also both have an appreciation for nature, both in the Overworld and in the Upside-Down. You cannot convince me otherwise that they don't play games with Demodogs and Emily hasn't given every single one of her bats names.

11 - How do they feel about nicknames/pet names?

This is an interesting question because I've thought extensively about this. When I was originally conceptualizing their dynamic, I just could not for the life of me figure out what pet names they would hypothetically use. Henry just didn't seem like a guy who would use terms of endearment like that (or in general, Henry using pet names just doesn't seem right to me)... and that's when I realized their names are the terms of endearment. They've both had their names stripped away and replaced by numbers, taking away their humanity. That first step of trust between them was sharing their real names and covertly using them when Brenner wasn't around. Their names are very important to them, so calling each other something other than their names feels wrong... so yes and no?

20 - How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

The surefire way to get Emily to calm down/relax/chill the fuck out is to play with her hair. This is one of the few traits of hers I passed on from myself. Maybe it's a reflex from having it shaved at one point, but many a time, Henry has just finger combed her hair or scratched her scalp to get her to calm down after god knows what kind of shit happened. Henry probably learned to braid hair so he can just braid and unbraid her hair when needed... maybe he learned it from Alice?

Henry's not one who usually needs the comforting since he... I don't want to say let's things slide off his back, but it's more like he simmers until the pressure cooker just explodes (ex. The incident of September 8th). But if I had to take a guess, I could see Emily just performing some kind of physical contact, usually a hug, hand squeeze, or small kiss to just ground Henry back to reality. They're both very touch starved and Brenner's rules don't help at all, so they have to get that shit in where they can.

26 - What sacrifices do they make for the other?

Alexa, play 'If You Love Me, Let Me Go' (or whatever the song's title is).

No, but in all seriousness, I feel like they both have had to sacrifice many things for both each other and for the advancement of their goals. Emily in theory has a shot at living a somewhat okay life with the 'friends' she's made (Eddie doesn't need sarcastic quotes, they're real friends despite what Emily herself may think or not) on the Overworld since she can get up there, yet she chooses not to, prefering to spend more time in the Upside Down with Henry since for multiple reasons, he can't leave.

I don't want to say Henry's the more dependent one of the two (he is), but it's hard to pick out any one thing Henry's truly sacrificed for Emily other than the previously alluded to "letting her go" thing compared to what she's given up for him. In reality they both mutually gave up a lot of things for their goals like their humanities (nameless numbers aside).

32 - Do either of them drink? Who's the lightweight/who's the caretaker?

Canonically it's been stated multiple times that Emily doesn't drink or do drugs (she berates Eddie for it constantly) because a scrambled mind means she's disconnected from her abilities, something she especially hates after Brenner's Soteria implants. Henry's probably the same way.

But for shits and giggles, let's do a hypothetical. Henry's a much lighter weight than Emily would be. I could understand how someone could see him as an angry drunk, but I think Henry just blubbers and essentially behaves like a sad, wet cat. Emily can and would drag him home and let him cling to her while he lets it all out. I think Emily would be the more aggressive drunk. I can see Emily getting into a bar fight and Henry (or Eddie since he was probably the one to drag her there) having to pull her away and then be forced to deal with arguably something worse than a drunk Emily: a hungover one.

40 - Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

As far as getting and staying together, no. They'd have lost their minds without having each other to rely on. But I think on occasion Henry regrets not warning Emily about what really went on in the lab when Brenner was persuading her to stay. They wouldn't have bonded or even formally met if so and who knows where else little orphan Emily would have ended up otherwise.

And I think once or twice they moreso regret not being able to have the relationship they really wanted, away from the lab and allowed to grow naturally. They're both steadfast in their hatred of the human system, but I'm positive they've both at least entertained the fantasy of having met as kids at school, falling in love in the real world in the 'proper' way, and then living in the Creel House as a real family unit after they had Eleven/Jane/Elaine the way they should have. It's the "In another life, I would have liked doing taxes and laundry with you" trope, just an incredibly angsty variant of it because even if they had that chance in circumstance (aka no lab to imprison them in), their views on the human system would prevent that almost entirely.

46 - Do they consider the relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

There's no question that they see this very seriously; it's all they have really. There isn't anything casual or normal about the kind of bond they have with each other. As I said, I think Henry's more dependent on Emily than the other way around, but they're both extremely attached to each other. Their relationship is the most important thing to them at the end of the day, even more than their goals because their plans may fail, but they will still have each other...

---

And on that admittedly ironic note let's move on to...

Emily and Caius

(I just made this one a couple hours ago lmao)

5 - Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

Honestly? I don't see them arguing much since more often than not they're virtually on the same page. Maybe it's not so much arguments as it is "one of them is being stubborn and the other has to get them to do what they're supposed to." Emily's usually this hypothetical 'stubborn' one, though, because she's still the same Emily who likes to rebel against the system (even if now she's part of the people creating it) and tries to get out of her, quote, "stupid duties." She's a... we'll call it a free spirit. Nine times out of ten this means Caius has to bribe her in some way to handle her responsibilities, not that he minds that, I don't think.

7 - How often do they say 'I love you?'

The cool thing is they can say it in many different languages to keep it interesting. I would say often, but not to the point that it could be considered annoying to others. They don't do that cheesy "I love you" "I love you more" "I love you most" bullshit (unless they're actively trying to be annoying because someone's being an asshole about boundaries... Aro). But they say it enough and can show it via other means without verbalizing it.

Caius says it out loud more often though because Emily's lacked affection aside from Henry for her entire life. That touch-starved insecurity about being able to receive proper love is just part of who she is. She's frozen in time with that insecurity and Caius makes it a point to pick up that slack to remind her that she can and is loved.

10 - Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

🔥Arson🔥

In all seriousness, though, once again art is a connective tissue. I don't know how this headcanon started or got so widespread, but people say Caius is a painter (and I'm obsessed with this idea) and Emily still draws. They teach each other their prefered mediums, so Caius has helped Emily learn to paint while she introduces him to the benefits of having a simple sketchbook and pencils for capturing moments.

I think there's also that shared love of learning and sharing stories since Emily's been locked out of the world at large for most of her life save for the books she read when hiding in the library when she was homeless. I headcanon Caius as a history buff (especially when it comes to wars and general combat because we all agree the dude's a warrior, full send) and Emily just likes hearing all these accounts and events since there's just so much she doesn't know about the world. "I wanna know about the strangers like me." That, and she likes hearing the myths, legends, and stories that come with that.

I like to think that a popular story that Caius grew up on, then passed on to Emily to become her favorite tale is the story the original God of War games told (since I fuckin love that franchise so let me have my easter eggs). She never gets tired of hearing about Kratos' journey.

11 - How do they feel about nicknames/pet names?

Emily's general philosophy on pet names stays largely consistent. She doesn't really call Caius any cute names very often, maybe in front of other people to put up a more sickly sweet front once in a while. She moreso uses terms of endearment in a mocking/sarcastic way (there's a perfect example that comes much later on in Necrosis, but for spoilers' sake I'll keep that to myself. Emily uses nicknames sometimes, occasionally calling Sulpicia simply "Picia" and she refers to Athenodora as "Thena" since Caius called her that or Dora since her name is a bit of a mouthful.

Speaking of, on the other side of it, Caius' favorite pet name for Emily is Agapé, or one of the Greek words for love. Sometimes he calls her 'love' or 'my love' in English and some other languages. Once in a while he'll call her a queen in various languages (since technically she is). I think it's just another way Caius hammers home his affection for her, a la what I said for bullet point 7. Though, sometimes Caius calls her by her name when he needs her attention for something important or serious (like to snap her out of a frenzy for example). It's like a softer version of the dreaded "Middle Name" when you're in trouble.

20 - How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

Again, the go-to for calming Emily down is her hair. But since her traits are exemplified because of her transformation, full physical contact is also a viable option. Sort of like what I said for Henry, a hug or kiss will work magic. I hesitate to say cuddles because that's too soft a term for these two, but that will also work. I think it's because Emily was a bit touch starved as a human, and that only got magnified.

Caius has a very... notorious temper. The smallest things can set him off on a bad day. Usually Emily just lets it happen because a) it's never directed at her and b) she has a superiority complex over those that temper is being directed at. But sometimes she knows Caius' hissy fits help nobody and all she has to do is just grab and hold his hand. Maybe it's not so much of a "calming" move as it is a "keep it in check" move, but in essence it's the same thing.

Again, for spoilers' sake I'll keep the details to myself but there is a point in Necrosis where Caius get a slightly different kind of upset. In that case, Emily knows giving him space is the best way to start before she gets him the "cuddles but we're not calling them cuddles because we're not cute, we're angsty chaos vampires."

26 - What sacrifices do they make for the other?

I mean... Emily sacrifices her life in more ways than one. She's literally an undead creature now, but further than that, she gave up the life she'd known for like, 25 years, the first person to show her love and the first friend she'd ever had. She willingly goes against her dislike of the institution of marriage for Caius and the life and family he provides.

Emily's my character, I'm allowed to make fun of the decisions she makes at my behest.

In some ways, Caius only made gains when he got with Emily since he got a woman that really understands and enjoys being around him rather than just eternally moping (like some people...) and raging after Thena died. But bringing Emily on board means that there's eventually a lost of stability, something Caius and the rest of the Volturi value. Again, I'm being vague for secrecy's sake, but Emily makes waves and it's gonna hurt when they crash ashore. I don't know if you would count that as a sacrifice rather than the probably more accurate term, a consequence, but it's not in Emily's nature to let things stay smooth all the time and things can and will get ugly.

Not for them and their relationship, mind you.

32 - Do either of them drink? Who's the lightweight/who's the caretaker?

Unfortunately, as you inquired, alcohol doesn't affect vampires. In fact they can't really drink it cause they'd have to cough it up since they can't digest anything that's not blood. Emily still hates the idea of drinking regardless.

But again, for shits and giggles, let's have fun.

Emily's still probably an aggressive drunk, but I feel like since she's more open now, she can also be a bit of a flirty drunk if her mood was right. She's (somewhat) less of an angry person compared to when she's a human in Hawkins. I don't know how super clear I've been on this, but Emily's a horribly repressed bisexual disaster, so despite the fact that she's married to Caius, when drunk I feel like she'd lose her inhibitions and will probably make a pass at Heidi especially or Chelsea (maybe Sulpicia if she's out of it enough). Either way, it's kind of amusing for Caius to watch, but eventually he gets her attention and cuts her off to get her back to their room, even if she's complaining the whole way or getting really handsy with him.

I don't see Emily as a light weight exactly, but compared to Caius she seems like it. The man would be able to hold his alcohol and extremely well at that. He drank Greek wines as a human most definetly, probably on the regular, so he'd have a high tolerance from that alone. To me, Caius reads more like a guy who would do small glasses of whiskey by the fire with Emily curled at his side (as opposed to others in the coven I could name who get absolutely sloshed constantly having downed many bottles of god knows what). But if Caius were to get drunk, similar to Emily I could see him getting more aggressive since he's just Like That in General, mostly just hurling swears and insults unrestricted or throwing something across the room until Emily just gently gets him back to their room till he sobers up.

...honestly I don't think it's wise for any of the Volturi to get drunk because I don't see it ending well in any way.

40 - Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

Caius, no, not in a million years. He's very happy with Emily and considers himself incredibly lucky she came into his life. I feel like he understands how important Henry was to Emily, but only to a point since it seems like she's thriving with him and his wacky family/coven, faring so much better than when she was with Henry. Is it selfish and egotistical of him, absolutely. But he'd never ever go as far to suggest Emily's better with him across the board or that she shouldn't have been with Henry at all because that's just not true.

Emily was frozen in time when she was still in love with Henry. She already left him before she was turned, sure, but that love didn't go away the second she did that, and it wouldn't have for a long time. So for as long as she will live (probably several thousand years), a part of her heart will always be his and his alone. As a result, sometimes she misses him, sometimes a lot. Sometimes she even questions why she left him, wonders if he found his own happiness after the fact, worries if her leaving him led to him dying, oh god, don't let that be the case...

Emily tries to not go down that train of thought because then she's asking questions she doesn't want, have, or need the answers to. So, I would say once in a great while she gets in her head about if she made the right decision/regretting her choice, but she can't help it.

46 - Do they consider the relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

Serious. Very serious. Again, I have to reiterate Emily doesn't like the institution of marriage and yet she agreed to fully commit and marry Caius. That, and I sure hope it's serious since casual relationships don't come with the kind of influence and power Emily gets... although I will say it went from Casual to Serious extremely quickly.

Revenge Sex to Marriage Speedrunning Challenge.

[gildinbainas]

name: dani, the mfkn og pharaoh and dragon queen 💞

pronouns: she/her or they/them idc really

preference of communication: asks or tumblr IM. i have discord, but honestly, I've had way too many experiences of people wanting to chat until they get a hard no from me on something they want to explore in RP and I don't. so disc is reserved for mostly friends now :/

experience / how many years: i'm not really sure. i'm sure i've been here about 10 years? or 10+ years but i've been kinda off and on so idk. we'll say 10+ for tumblr. as far as RPing goes, its been longer because i started in high school. a girl introduced me to chat style RP and then para RPing in forums and then later facebo/ok. so i've got plenty of experience all around.

rp pet peeves: people who roll up on my blog waxing poetics and everything is fine until they propose something that i don't want to do? usually it involves smut, or forcing my muse into a role they're not comfortable in or pushing for storylines that don't really connect with me or my character. --- stalking. --- getting mad because i ship with only one version of certain characters --- trying to make me jealous because i may not have time or the inspiration to give you my undivided attention all the time --- BIG GIFS --- smut blogs that only want to bottom

fluff, angst, or smut: i LOVE fluff. too much angst bores me. i like action. smut IF there's a strong chemistry between our characters in canon and in writing. but im a whore for fluffy / slice of life shit

long or short replies: i tend to write long ass novella stuff with my mains and can get bored easily with short things if the conversation isn't good if we're threading. i do try to keep some short stuff in the mix but my threads tend to be pretty long and im liable to ignore people who only do short things. its just not my thing

time to write: none. i literally have zero time to fucking write these days. i pop on when i can and cater to those who continuously show interest.

are you like your muses: LOLOLOLOLOLOL weeeeeeell i guess if i had to say im like one of my muses, its probably atem. we're both sus af of people. don't like being touched without permission. no time for stupid people. no time for endless drama. we are quick tempered. hold grudges ( working on that though ). um... he has more girly habits than i do though.---and i guess you could say like charles, im probably too nice at times? and a pacifist at heart. dont think i could ever hurt someone. its just not in me to hurt people unless im like atem and verbally annihilating them from a to z when mad. or beating them senseless in a children's card game --- oh and at home im pretty quiet like atem / gaara. i speak only when necessary in large gatherings so there you go.

tagged by: @sanguinelupus

tagging: anyone who wants to

[knowlessman]

shake n bake alabamia (bnha) s2e4-5 let's find out what a fucking cavalry battle is

yeah yeah 80% of the world is superheroes ever since the shiny nation attacked wtf is a cavalry battle I don't wanna google it I want you to tell me -- reel 'em in with the melody (skipskipskip)

"I want you to tell them 'I am here!' mow it in the lawn if you have to!"

deku I think it might take a little more than luck to drag a hunk of metal with you a whole race and then figure out a way to use it to go really fast right at the end. people keep underselling themselves in this.

…these are some weird rules. also holy shit this looks unsafe with the headbands around the neck. are they actually supposed to carry each other? how the hell are they sposed to get the headbands? -- "you'll get a red card for trying to make people fall over" ?????????????????????? I started this episode with one question and I keep getting more. also it's hard enough to get kids with quirks not to try to kill each other, how in fuck do you decide whether an "attack" is meant to get someone to fall?

dude. I know healing powers exist but still, why are they letting you smoke indoors, and right in people's faces no less

"how do you not know your own class's powers???" 'XD vegeta gonna vegeet

flying horse? not sure what other plan there is with uraraka tbh -- well, it's not like this is that different from deku's plan with picking iida -- (I keep trying to remember the gadgeteer girl's name from danganronpa 3 so I can call hatsume that but tbph maybe that's for the best anyway)

"I just need one more person" WHAT ARE THE RULES OF THIS GAME, THE DIAGRAM SHOWED THREE PEOPLE -- dontbeminetadontbeminetadontbemineta -- birdman, yesssssss, this oughta be cool (also it's not mineta thank fuck)

oh fuck, part of me wants to see todoroki win. it helps that iida is on his team (even tho I'm a little disappointed about this "I'm your rival now too" thing)

really, tsu? mineta? : /

that's literally one of the butler bot npc's from the paris map I stg (like granted it's not a complicated design but still)

"before we get deku, let's kill all these guys (who are literally just playing the hand they were dealt with half a brain)" easy there vegeets, you get red flags that way -- I guess props to class A for figuring out, between them, how to set up a team that lets bakugo do whatever he wants; for sure, no team with him in it is going to last longer than it takes for him to fall off otherwise

"I shift Shoji into attack mode and attack your headbands directly!"

"team midoriya has nowhere left to go!" WHAT. ARE. THE. RULES. TO. THIS. GAME. is this fucking calvinball, or does every high school in japan play this and somehow it's never shown up in any other anime I've heard of, or what?

…we just did this. didn't we just do this last episode? -- oh, cool. hell, I feel like they're trying to set up neito as a dick but I don't see much reason not to like him yet

neito gotta stop pushing them buttons or we're gonna need a backup planet

o_o dang, wasn't expecting iida to even have chips to put in

sigh "the difference between having goals you can plan for and just bloodymindedly grasping for the moon while answering everything but perfection with violence" so disappointingly american

I wasn't really reading too close when they explained how the points work, but it is pretty damn weird that there's a ten million point headband and (judging by the margins on the scoreboard) no others that even go up to ten thousand. damn near rowlingesque; hell, even the snitch could be overtaken (granted, only by somebody willingly throwing the game)

"Tokoyami!" "Kaminari!" "DEKUUUU!" "Bakugo!" Donkey!

"TIME UP!" bakugo faceplants 'XDDDDDD shouldn'ta got sidetracked, vegeet

…wait when did gamzee get here. did neito throw his points to him? was this a relay race pony express shell game thingy??? we still don't know what shinso's mOtHeRfUcKiNg quirk is yet

CONSOLATION POINTS TO GRIFFINPUFF. good show, birdman, good show

hm. interesting convos in next episode, I expect. officially learning some things about todoroki and endeavor. gonna have to be next time, unfortunately; 's late.

[nerves-nebula]

Nah it's fine, you weren't rude at all, I noticed a lot of people tend to be uncomfy about older siblings, it's understandable.

My sis mostly called me a workaholic cause of my habit of starting massive projects and not leaving my room for ages, which only got worse during quarantine when I switched to a nocturnal sleep schedule. I just need to work on something or I'll start feeling restless and depressed. Kinda caused a rift between us (and one of the reasons my sis doesn't like doing art cause she views it as this stressful thing because of me, honestly one of my biggest regrets).

It doesn''t even necessarily need to be art related, a month back I started getting my mom's legal shit (vauge for privacy reasons) sorted because I been feeling stressed about not doing enough.

I'm just focus a lot on my art and work because I was called lazy a lot growing up due to the fact I'm rather slow so I feel like I have to work for longer to achieve similar results to my peers

My teacher has helped me unlearn some of that stuff and be more realistic with myself and how to set achievable results that won't kill me in the process, but it can be a bit hard sometimes

oh yeah we're sorta in the same boat there. If I don't work on stuff for too long I'll feel TERRIBLE. and it isn't always like, "ooh im useless" (it is that sometimes) but other times its just like "I only have 80 years on this planet if i'm fucking lucky and i NEED to get this shit done before that time is up" asfdfsafdsf.

i also feel like i gotta work harder/longer to get the same results. I used to cry myself to sleep every night in high school because I knew for a FACT that my classmates didn't work as hard on their homework and somehow seemed to get by just fine. but i had a lot of other issues back then too so, eough.

your teacher sounds like a cool person. i had a teacher in high school that really helped me out, i still miss him.

[fantasticcloudcreation]

I'm high so I'm just gonna ramble for a second

I bought an 8th on the way to the last festival and I still haven't finished it, I'm amazed. Went through 2 packs of gummies in the time between so that counts but I'm just amazed this bud is still hanging in there! One more bowl I think and then I'll restock on gummies before I leave and then decide if I want bud when I get to Texas, but we're in a hotel and I won't have my usual work buddies with me so maybe gummies will be enough, otherwise there's like a million people at work who can point me towards the local sources haha

Went for a walk today, my knees were hurting which either means I haven't been walking enough lately (yes) or it was colder today so that sometimes has an impact, or bad shoes, or of course my brain was like "what if I have some secret illness that causes problems with connective tissue" or something but realistically I just haven't been moving enough since I've been here. It was nice out though, windy and cloudy and kinda chilly, felt like fall, I'm glad I got to have one day of fall weather while I'm here before I head south for the next couple months :) it's gonna be hot af in TX but I'm trying not to think about it

Stepmom + stepsisters made dinner and cake today, it was delicious but stepmom was cutting ginormous slices of cake, I was like "can I request a smaller piece" and she was like "no" and gave me a big slice lmfao so I was like ok im not gonna be weird about it, took me longer than everyone else to finish it but I did eventually eat it all

The one stepsister that I was talking about being super skinny and going to the gym and everything and I was feeling all insecure about myself because of it, I noticed that she doesn't have a thïgh gäp and felt better about myself (can you believe I'm really out here judging myself/her against each other like bitch shes 23 relax lol) but at the same time I'm glad my gäp is securely Back like it's been around but now it's like, i love sitting down with my knees together lmfao why am i like this. I also looked at pics from my LW today and honestly my body doesn't look much different right now??? Which is weird bc I still have at least 10 pounds til I get there based on my last scale reading but maybe the muscle gain really makes that much of a difference?? I'll take pics when I stop by my brother's house again on the way to TX. Also looked at pics from my HW and it's so great to see that I've never been back to that since I lost it the first time, like I've been gaining+ losing the same 10-20 pounds since then but never gained back the full 30... Also grateful that I started all this before it got too high, like kinda crazy to think I've been in and out of disordered eating/"dieting" since I was 14 but at the same time looking at my before pics I never want to be that big again... in the grand scheme of things ("average american" and all that) it wasn't even that bad but for me I kinda would pick a lifetime of intermittent diet phases...? Also grateful that my "disordered " behaviors never get too out of control and I kinda just phase in and out of them over the years ... Idk life is weird!! Funny to think I'm comparing my current 28 year old body against pictures of my 17 year old body, funny that most people want to get back to their high school bodies and for me it's my HW/before pics. Funny to think about how I took those pics a couple months before junior prom bc I was going to get skinny for it (I didn't) funny how I didn't actually hit my LW til my fourth year in college /21 years old, funny how I'm still here comparing myself to pictures of my younger self at various ages.

I was also thinking about thïgh gäps and how I have a fucked up tailbone bc I fell on ice while snowboarding when I was younger and maybe that influences the thïgh gäp like maybe it caused my pelvis to tilt farther or something ?? Bc I have the narrowest hips lmao I had to buy a new pack for a backpacking trip a couple years ago bc my old pack couldn't tighten enough and the sales guy at the camping store was like "you have the narrowest hips I've ever seen" lol idk I feel like just based on my body structure there's no reason I'm in the club of girls with natural thïgh gäps but I'm glad it's working out that way??

Anyway. Besides the giant slice of cake, today was a good day :) sad I have to leave tomorrow but the next chapter is starting and it's gonna be great!!!