#that's not a metaphor for anything specific it's just kinda how I'm feeling rn

[nopizzaaftermidnight]

[fraternum-momentum]

mini update

I think im in a creative burnout rn,, i havent been really satisfied with my art and i feel like my progress has been stagnant. i have no idea on what direction i should take it. do i focus on rendering? should i adhere to a more specific style? should i make it more realistic or should i play with my proportions? do i make the lineart less visible or should i lean more into it? it's all basically a midlife identity crisis of my art or something idk if that makes any sense ajebd

im also just not sure how to overcome a burnout or like how to take a break??? i would always feel uncomfortable and guilty for not doing anything productive like i want to do something but everything i draw is not up to my standards so i trash most of my stuff or just leave it unfinished (well to be fair im very hard on myself, especially these past few days) so i just kinda have no idea what to do??

and another thing is, im not super into dol anymore :[ i mean it was eventually bound to happen, im surprised i even lasted this long lol i might make the occasional fanart here and there if i feel like it (most likely answering an old ask), but that's not the main thing i'll be drawing from now on :c i might post more ocs or more of that puppygirl stuff since ppl seem to like it and i enjoy drawing it too so yea,,

i'm also probably gonna stray further away from like super dark media. i mean dont get me wrong, i still like drawing dead dove stuff and being my degenerate self but i realized that ive been interacting with dark media on a practically daily basis now and its really fucking up my psyche and im probably consuming an unhealthy amount of it (well for me at least, i know people can handle much darker stuff but yeah). like i recognise i like fucked up shit but i dont want it to be normalised to me and accidentally skew my moral compass. (basically im in my metaphorical grass touching era) so ill probably do more sfw stuff here from now on :] which is super funny since the goal of my goretober prompt list was to desensitise myself from like super hardcore stuff but it ended up doing the exact opposite LMAODBQ rip

but thanks for reading all this ! it was pretty lengthy, so i do apologize for that. i hope you have a wonderful day 💛

[residentfurry]

FOR THE ASK GAME ERM. Either Ada Wong or Luis they’re on my brain rn. Or even Maria Death Island

I'm gonna do all of these so long post beware!!

ADA

How I feel about this character:

I have such a huge crush on her ok. Giggles and twirls my hair. Also I support her shady endeavors go girl get that money!!!! Her design is solid and recognizable and I really like that even though she does good things sometimes she's still someone who works behind the scenes doing illegal shit for money LOL. I also think that her character has a lot of depth even tho a lot of people just see her surface level.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Leon is the main one (only the remake versions + re6) but I can see her getting with Claire or another girl character! To me she's bi with a preference for women but she does what she has to do for her job. Oh and her and Mia <- my fav RE crackship <3

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I like to think her and Luis would've been good friends :) or at least I think she's drop by from time to time to spy on him. Maybe if he joined the BSAA/worked with Rebecca I can imagine her trying to poach his research LOL.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Uhhh um idk actually! Some people didn't like her voice for re4r but I personally loved it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I REALLY REALLY wish that she was the main character of re6. The whole story revolves around her and her attempt to clear her name and gain her autonomy back so WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DISTRACTING AND CONFUSING ARCS. Don't get me wrong I love Chris and the exploration of how his job has affected him and I LOVE Jake and Sherry but it should've been more about her...it was supposed to be her story....(and I could write a whole essay about how her re6 plot is a metaphor for abuse- specifically sexual abuse... but that's a post for another time.) Also I know Capcom is allergic to backstories but please... I want to know what her motivations are! What drove her to the life she lives now! What does she do with her money!

I also wish that she was in re8 </3 they couldn't handle her cuntiness </3

LUIS

How I feel about this character:

I love Luis, even with how much I see him on my dash i STILL think that he's underappreciated. He has everything a good character has, themes motives etc...

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

LEON I like to think that if Luis had survived he would have eventually gotten with Leon. I mean they lay it on pretty heavily with Luis' flirting, and they have pretty compatible personalities (when Leon isn't being a dick LOL).

My non-romantic OTP for this character: (This is a more if-he-survived-scenario) I know they didn't really meet much in canon but he's besties with Ashley to me. I like to think that she'd forgive him for his role in umbrella and they would party HARD from time to time. I also think that him and Ada would be friends (as much as Ada can be friends with someone due her her job and everything) and would probably take him to dinner from time to time to bitch about life and try to get information out of him. And Rebecca! I think he would love working with her and think that she's brilliant. Scientist friends forever!

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Not really an unpopular opinion but I'm still 99.99% convinced that he's still alive. Unless something in the RE universe blows up into a million pieces then to me it's still alive. If Wesker can survive THAT Luis can survive anything.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Kinda building on the last question, I would LOVE to see him come back/be alive and work for Rebecca. I would personally like to see him with some mobility aid of some kind due to his spinal injury (like how Buddy at the end of Damnnation has a wheelchair!) ^-^

MARIA

How I feel about this character:

I like her character! I know they're kinda weird about her with her clothes and Leon, but I like how she's not romantically involved with anyone and her only goal is revenge/help her father/ avenge her father. I know it sucks but it's not often that we get to have a female character who isn't romantically involved with someone/interested in a mc so I think she's really cool! I also love how she's quiet and a badass and I personally hc her as selectively mute (aka situational mutism)

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I don't really ship anyone with her!

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Maybe if things Were Different I could see her being friends with Leon, as even after everything she's done he still sympathies with her and is sad/regretful at her death.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I don't really have any unpopular opinions about her... maybe that she should've been put in some more combat-friendly clothing, but I digress.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I dunno! I don't think there's much that could be changed about her/ her circumstances without changing her entire character. Maybe it would'be been nice for her to be given a normal chance at life, or at least join the BSAA or something, but I doubt they would let that happen because she's a bioweapon i'm pretty sure.

Anyways that's all of them! THANK U FOR THE ASKS ERIC ^-^!!!

[mrpenguinpants]

Alrighty it's been a few hours and I'm fully awake so here's the (mostly) coherent response that I promised:

Okay so when you mentioned how the unknown god said “the arrogation of mankind ends now” it made me wonder if we (Aether & Lumine) had a hand in that calamity that destroyed Kaenri’ah? Whether accidentally or on purpose (hopefully w good intentions tho) we triggered the calamity and the unknown god stepped in like “it’s time to STOP” and even though a lot of other factors went into it she kinda scapegoated the outlanders? Maybe our presence was disrupting the balance of the world lol

OH AND WHAT IF THE UNKNOWN GOD USED TO BE KAENRI’AH’S GOD BUT SHE TURNED HER BACK ON THEM AFTER THE CALAMITY??? BC SHE THOUGHT THEY WENT TOO FAR W THEIR ALCHEMY????? MAYBE??????? Did you already mention this I honestly don't remember lmao sorry

But also I’m super intrigued by the fact that the sky is a hoax as Scaramouche said and the possibility that Kaenri’ah is in the false sky 👀 Bc rn we can see Celestia in game as an actual physical place and I wonder if Kaenri’ah used to also be a bunch of floating islands but the calamity yeeted them into space or something lmao? This also just reminded me that in the traveler’s voice overs they mentioned that the day/night cycle in Teyvat is much shorter than in their world (and ofc we can see that clearly in game) and idk if that was just a hand-wavey way to incorporate this game mechanic into the lore or if it’s actually significant but maybe it means something????? Like idk the calamity fucked up time in Teyvat or something????

Idk I’m word vomiting rn I said I’d write a coherent response once I’m awake but turns out I just can’t be coherent in general lmao

HELLO! IT’S BEEN A FEW DAYS BECAUSE I’M SUPER BAD AT REPLYING ON TIME BUT I’M HERE NOW! TUMBLR WON’T LET ME REPLY TO COMMENTS BUT I AGREE WITH WHAT U SAID ABOUT CHILDE. HE’S SUCH A ONE BRAINCELL DUMBASS BUT HE’S MY DUMBASS. [nvm tumblr fixed itself] I am holding onto his boss fight so I can beat him into submission with Xiao. I AM SO EXCITED FOR FEB 3. IT’S TOMORROW!!! 

---

Okay, not gonna lie, I really want Aether and Lumine to be horrible people lol. Not in a sense that we caused the calamity in order to wipe out humans with evil intentions, but Aether and Lumine are really sheltered in a sense. Since it’s only been the two of them and they don’t seem to stick around in the same world. Lumine doesn’t appear to have a lot of feelings and hangs around the abyss order while Aether seems to be gaining human emotion (since he basically had a mind reset) and that could be why Dainsleif issued his whole “prove to me that you are fit to save her”. Since he’s super into humanity and hates the Gods. That kinda stuff. But this is me spitballing and wanting everything to be sad haha. 

Yo, I wanna see that. The unknown god spitting metaphors and flowery language just to say “yo wtf are you doing, it’s time to STOP.” I definitely believe in our presence was disrupting the balance since Lumine says something like “outlanders don’t belong here” or something like that. Plus all the shit that happened with Aether throughout the story. Saving Dvalin and sealing Osial. 

YES. YES. I’M TOTALLY ON BOARD WITH THAT THEORY THAT THE UNKNOWN GOD WAS THE KAENRI’AH GOD. I love those tragic “I used to be the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances it’s time to stab a bitch” (yo what a status. This is my status now). But I completely believe that Khemia was what caused the calamity. Or even, okay back to me spit balling even tho this isn’t really a theory (and I don’t think this is how genshin is going to go but my brainworms are taking over), since Khaenri’ah was an archoneless land, that doesn’t necessarily mean there aren’t gods the same way Liyue has adepti’s right? We don’t know what region Khaenri’ah is yet (at least I think) since Liyue is China and Mondstadt is Germany so I can’t say anything about folklore and what not. But each region so far has some sort of celestial being that isn’t an archon but still protects that specific piece of Teyvat. So what if the unknown god was technically a god, might have been the archon, but perhaps Lumine and Aether dislike the gods and tried to teach the people of  Khaenri’ah how to like, rise above or whatever, but that whole situation backfired and started the calamity. And the unknown god was just this whole, misunderstood situation the same way with the salt goddess in Liyue. Havria? I think that’s her name. That could explain why she went after the two siblings and said the whole, arrogation of mankind. 

Scaramouche you fucking bitch, explain to me in english what you mean!! Why are you leaving me off on a cliffhanger;; Stupid gremlin smh, I say this but as soon as I see his banner I’m gonna whale for him even though I hate using castors. I’m gonna finally use Mona and Lisa when I get him haha. That is very true tho, I believe Khaenri’ah is the false sky or it has something to do with the sky. YEETED THEM INTO SPACE LOLLL. This kinda reminds me of the gbf lore and the crimson horizon. Basically the gbf main story takes place above the clouds and the crimson horizon is what separates gbf with the “main world”. The main world went to shit so that’s why everyone now lives in the sky. It would make sense since the calamity turned everyone into monsters.  

Honestly, I can see it being some sort of hint because genshin is lowkey really bad at subtly hinting at things (COUGH ZHONGLI AND ALBEDO COUGH). Or it could just be a nod to irl people and the day night cycle but who knows. I feel like Venti or Zhongli would say something about it since the calamity started, Mondstadt went to go and help and honestly, the timeline of Khaenri’ah is so fucked. Either way, Scaramouche was on musk reef which does lead to the spiral abyss and time doesn’t act naturally there either so there might be some connections but who knows haha. 

Nah nah, I live for this kinda stuff. Don’t worry about being coherent because I’m never haha. Honestly, theory lore stuff needs to be more “slapping the whiteboard as I look at you with my sleep deprived eyes” instead of “this is my 20 page essay detailing the quantum mechanics of fictional characters”. 

[calpalsworld]

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.