#that's just what i've observed so far
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Hey Niki, can I just say the love triangle in worst of evil is the weakest part of the story and gets on my nerves. Like not to be a men’s rights activist but they did NOT need the wife story line to interfere with the bromance like I know it’s a k drama but every time they mention it I just rôle my eyes. Also, bibi and the Korean drug dealer chemist were great female representations.
i mean, that's totally valid but i can't say i agree. the worst of evil is not a typical kdrama. the genre is Noir which isn't a common genre in kdrama so if you're expecting the usual kdrama character and plot progression and ending from it you're going to be disappointed.
i'm not gonna talk about specifics bc idk which ep ur in, but the "love triangle" (which by the definition of "love triangle" that isn't even a love triangle) isn't there to push a hetero narative or to add unnecessary tension/drama. it serves a very specific purpose which i personally think it did an okay job in (just 'okay' bc i think euijong's character wasn't really flushed out so she was kinda hard to care abt, but she did what she was supposed to do in relation to gicheol and junmo).
#from the responses ive seen ppl have to the show after its finished i see that there are really only 2 responses#you either get what the show was trying to do (and did) and you love it#or you don't get it and you end up hating it#that's just what i've observed so far#and my opinion ofc#you're free to disagree with any and all of it#you will understand what i mean when you finish it (im assuming you havent by the time u send this uwu)#ask#anon#do look up the the title on here (tumblr) after u finish it and read the text posts! there are some interesting takes/interpretations there
0 notes
Text
mu qing being seen as someone who's dishonest and ill-intentioned is actually so misled because while nearly every god turns out to have some kind of cover up for their bad actions in the present or past, mu qing is direct about his heritage and his actions in the past, even though he dislikes it. He's not hiding from it I mean, he's at most shifting the blame onto feng xin. He is hard-working and cares about his followers, there's a reason why he's so popular among folks.
#tgcf#mu qing#if I'm wrong about anything lmk i haven't read all the books :3#but that's just what I've observed so far
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know if this still happens cause I'm not too involved with the Fuuta side of the community, but when I was first getting into Milgram I remember being somewhat annoyed at how much I saw Fuuta's murder being watered down to just "Haha twitter user was twittering". And I still feel that way, not because I think Fuuta should be specially punished for his murder, but because in a series full of murders that anyone could commit when placed into their shoes, Fuuta is the character that I think exemplifies the fact that any of these prisoners could be you if you were placed into different circumstances.
#tw cult mention#tw suicide mention#{ ⚖️ after knowing all I wonder. can you really forgive them? 👁️}#I would talk more in detail about what I mean but it's 1 AM and I need to be up for school so like#Just pretend I talked your ear off about internet cults of punitive justice and purity culture and how often teenagers get harassed into-#-offing themselves on these damn sites because of people'e desire to be the 'good guy' and 'the hero'#I've both observed and met so many Fuutas in my life and doubley so people who have been in his circumstances#Out of all the prisoners he by far feels the most real to me#And considering how much I've praised Yamanaka's character writing for how real he makes the characters feel despite their actions#that's saying a lot#milgram#milgram project#fuuta kajiyama#kajiyama fuuta#milgram fuuta
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....
the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol#ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that#giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own#thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha....#and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like.#say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways#portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol.#anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land#most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he....#that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha#is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv#and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance#like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4#thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat...#and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at#or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed.#&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no#something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne#that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing....#appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough#but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it
179 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've heard there's heated debate on this topic but I Do Not Care, I formed a solid opinion the first time I saw one of his win screens
^ This guy HAS to be 15 ^
#my skin deep observation is that he looks a lot younger than the rest of the cast#his design uses a lot of rounded shapes aroud his face like how his glasses and how his hair sits#but he also reads as a lot smaller than the other fighters. they emphasise that a lot about him in my eyes#obviously the bed does a lot of work but even outside of it he feels like he's designed to draw attention to that#his outfit being so simple and the markings on his arms and legs kind of like. draw your eye to how small he looks if that makes sense?#there's no attempt to make him look bigger outside of the bed despite how puffed up he acts from what I've seen of him#it feels very intentional yk?#speaking of how he acts that is my crux. this guy acts 15 and I won't accept otherwise because OOF I acted that way as a know it all 15 y/o#I don't know- I just can't not read him as *young* from his design and the few lines I've heard from him#also you may notice I didn't use his name this whole post-#well thats because this ramble was prompted by another post I saw-#apparently there's a weirdo you can summon like beetlejuice if you mention him#and I'm not trying to get involved with that- I just wanted to ramble a little bit about how I see him so far#because I find him interesting! and a bit of that is definitely from how put together he's trying to present himself#but because of how he goes about it I can only read him as someone who is young and desperate to be taken seriously#anyway- I'm done talking about characters I don't know now!#sorry if I'm off base about any of this#yappin'
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some low-effort doodles because I've been thinking about Mymble Jr alot and just how much they watered her down in the 90s series. So I tried 'fixing' some scenes to make her atleast more expressive.
She and the Inspector would've been such a fun relationship if they just let them be themselves like in the comics (and books in Mymble's case), just, I dunno, they made her distinctly boring while they made the Inspector just a little extra silly and I think that's deeply unfair to Mymble. This is especially upsetting when they never shared the same panel in the comics besides 2 of them, and in one Mymble Jr is just standing there while Moomintroll does the talking.
#moomins#moominvalley#art#mymble jr#the mymbles daughter#mymble#the mymble#inspector#moomin inspector#the inspector#mymble x inspector#Mymspector#< ship tags just in case anyone is actually looking for them#ofc this is all in an alternate usniverse where Inspector is not gay lmao#also just another one of my fandom observations. I see people very often try to gay ship Mymjay and it just.. never felt *right* tbh#like yeah ok they're cute (Mymticky) for the most part but what are we getting here? where's Mymjay's personality gone to?#I barely see anyone do anything with her personality and then go ahead and completely wipe off her interest in men as if that'll fix her#like I would like the idea of her realizing that maybe she isn't meant to be with a man but there's so DEPTH to what I've seen#there's no silliness in the dynamics. there's so jokes between them or quirks or getting on eachother's nerves or w/e#it's all just very plain wlw shipping and it kind of annoys me. maybe it would annoy me far less if there was variety but there isn't#I've started getting reaaally into the idea of qpr Mymspector. I've had thoughts about them for a while but it's v intense lately#I don't like people chalking her attractions and girliness up to 'heteronormativity' bc that's just... idk. it's really not much?#it's not fixing a problem with her 90s boringness. it's only replacing it if you don't do anything with her original self#she NEEDS to be silly. she NEEDS to get intense. it's a general problem the 90s has with writing women but it hits esp hard for Mymjay#tanoshii muumin ikka#doodles#little my#moominmamma#snufkin#moomin sniff
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I know it's not guaranteed by any means, and it's common enough for reds to survive a good while after turning red, but wouldn't it be funny if Martyn were to also be the first out of the game in Secret Life? The canary curse broken by the previous winner because the Watchers are just that done with Martyn's shit by now or whatever
#also like. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't think anyone has so far managed to get a full like#first to yellow first to red and first out -series#like jimmy's the first out every time but i don't think he's ever been the first to lose each of his lives#so it'd be sorta funny from that perspective too to see martyn manage the full set y'know?#and again. i recognize it's not necessarily gonna happen. but i don't think it's that unlikely either#both from what i've observed of martyn's episodes and from what i think i've seen him say himself#i think the no heart regeneration thing is fucking him over in this one because his typical style of play is so reckless#like if you think back. in other games plenty of times he's survived shit with just a few hearts and been able to hide somewhere to heal#now those hearts are just gone until he can complete his task/unless someone gifts him (and even then they might not cover all his lost one#so like it's not guaranteed. maybe martin will now learn to be cautious because he has enough to lose#but then again it is possible that he just doesn't and has bad enough luck that he's out first#martyn inthelittlewood#trafficblr#secret life
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
casually spiraling and dont think there's anything i can do about it at this point anymore. i wanna just give up and let myself spiral.
#something something alcohol disclaimer#what is it about depression that has a siren call no matter how well you're doing. why would i ever think it's more comfortable and safe...#been in denial for a bit now; thinking that even if i was sad i was at least dealing wtih it better than i would have in years past#that i'm just normal sad - normal ups and downs. that i was in 'control' and wouldn't fall as Low™️ as being more than 'normal sad' again#i know where things changed for me back in feb and i've been trying to 'get back to myself' since then but i keep falling flat#i've been so terrified of going back to who i was before i was doing so well and yet i feel like it's happening#i'd never done so well for so long and thought i was somewhat safe#thought i had more awareness and coping mechanisms to handle inevitable sad times in life#but almost half the year is passed now and everything is one step forward and either one or two steps back#i'm trying so hard all the time. i work hard at myself#and for what? just to get to many more nights like this where i feel like i'm not trying at all and want to let myself rot?#like the garbage i feel like i am?#i'm either spinning my wheels or getting worse. and i feel like thinking that itself is a bad sign and is hould be fighting that thought.#but it's an observation...#sometimes it's so relieving to just give up#my heart hurts and i keep getting teh anxiety tummy of constant butterflies/the sensation of zero g#every minor thing feels like the end of the world#i want to sob and drink and cvt/burn and shop and smoke weed and drive 100 mph and eat an#anyway thanks for coming to my emotional rampage if you've read this far lolz uwu#*throws self into kink for psychologically relevant catharsis & comfort*#personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Perhaps the only good thing about Percy so far seemingly not having been cast in the show is that -- aside from my fears of what DG and writers would do with him -- I don't have to look at the actor they chose and constantly think how he's not pretty enough to be Percy. 😅
On the other hand, maybe the casting gods would've miraculously blessed us with the perfect amazingly handsome, delicate featured, beautiful-eyed and soft spoken Percy of our dreams and we're being deprived of the pleasure of gazing upon him as we speak...who knows? 😢
Oh, the cruelty of (most likely) never knowing! Sometimes I'm not sure what I want anymore...😭
But I will always love and protect Percy Wainwright, come hell or high water -- that much at least is certain. ❤
#I don't even know what I'm rambling about right now...UGH I'm so tired I need to sleep 😩#was I remotely coherent just now? who knows? lol#what's worse I wonder - drunk texting or dead tired texting??#I think -- I hope! -- I'm still making far more sense than the average drunk person#at least I know that I've observed the grammatically correct usage of ending each paragraph with an emoji 😅#as long as my sentences/paragraphs end in an emoji I know the world's still more or less right side up 🤣🤣🤣#my random ramblings#Percy Wainwright
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joining a fandom where apparently anon hate seems to be common but the fandom is really small
#forgive me if I'm wrong but from what I've observed so far (just today lmao) it's from one or maybe two people?#the person who is sending anon hate sounds like a young person though or just some immature asshole#I'm sorry to the people being attacked by this person it seems like the LR fandom has dealt with this person for a while (?)#I just think it's just wild in such a small fandom like I'm new here but someone making new accounts to send hate is ridiculous#when the fandom is so small#I come in peace for the LR fandom except for the anons attacking people I don't know who you are but I hope you get a migraine today
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#tag talk#I want to ramble about my views on the supernatural but I also really don't want to speak anything into being#I genuinely have a fearful respect for the supernatural that manifests itself by keeping that shit away from me with a ten foot pole#I've known people who claim to have some level of clairvoyance and because of that I've made boundaries between me and them#because I genuinely do not fuck with spirits or ghosts or anything supernatural at all#because whether by accident or joy or malice toys get broken and I don't want to be in anyone's toy box#whatever barrier exists between my physical existence of joy and friendship and the supernatural existence I would like to stay put#when I was a kid I burnt ants with a magnifying glass and crucified frogs and impaled locust on cactus#and I fear the same level of curious dissection that permeated the culture I grew up in#the casual destruction of things people had built simply because it was fascinating#I have a friend who claims to see ghosts and hear spirits. and I don't fuck with that one bit#either her childhood house has hella mold and also retraumatizes her regularly or she's genuinely clairvoyant#and her ghosts have quieted since she moved out which might speak to the former#but I still maintain boundaries about topics because I don't want to risk shit.#my life is rough enough as it is that I don't want to risk infection. once you open that door you can't close it.#anyway. I don't fuck with spirits or ghosts#Late Night With the Devil is a really good movie btw that's what sparked this ramble.#really good but just tipped over the edge of my boudnaries so I had fun watching it but yikes#a little too close to home for me to enjoy#perks of growing up in a community that encouraged magical thinking and belief in spiritual warfare#anyway. I'm gonna go play btd6 to clear my mind and close whatever gates may have opened#lose the attention of whatever being channel by being observed. that's the thing.#thinking about them. watching them. seeing them. they thrive on being observed.#speak of the devil and he will appear.#so I do not think of. I do not speak of.#and frankly this tag ramble is too far as it is. I shouldn't even post this but oh well.#gotta edge that trauma somehow right?#I'm lowkey glad the summoning circle carved into my leg never really scarred enough to stay.#I don't need that shit following me.#teenage years were bad and frankly I'm glad I'm never going back to that
0 notes
Text
in most fics i've read robin is grossed out when steve talks about his sex life, which is probably far more in character for her, but hear me out
imagine them discussing literally everything. like having no boundaries whatsoever.
one day robin mentions she's never seen a dick and she's curious what all the fuss is about.
robin: you have one
steve: yeah...?
robin: so show me
steve: ??
steve: sure, why not
when steve pulls down his pants, robin just stares at him with a blank face
robin: that's... it?
steve: what do you mean that's it??
robin: it looks sad
steve: ??? well, it's not hard rn, obviously???
robin: ugh, boring
steve: you want me to show you my hard dick?? is that what's happening rn?
robin: i mean yeah?
steve: your judgemental face is forever burned into my mind. i don't think i'll ever be able to get hard again.
then robin bursts into his room like a week later
robin: steve, you're a slut-
steve: hey!
robin: so you know your way around a vagina, right?? i need you to tell me if i have a rash or not
steve: do you not own a handheld mirror?
robin: i'm freaking out so much, i can't make a sound observation rn
steve: *sigh* alright
turns out robin does indeed have a rash and steve takes her to the doctor
at one point they lose all shame. steve regularly air dries while robin hangs out in his room. robin makes steve do her monthly breast self-exam. they check each other for ticks.
when steve and eddie start dating steve tells robin literally everything. robin knows way too much about eddie and she loves it.
robin comes over for movie night, eddie is already there
robin: how was your day?
steve: we slept in, then eddie fucked me, it was great-
eddie: *chokes*
steve: then we cooked lunch, there are some leftovers in the fridge, go ahead and eat. yours?
eddie: ???
robin: ugh, don't get me started-
eddie: wait wait wait, how did you just say that so casually?
stobin: ???
eddie: that i fucked you??
steve: i tell robin everything. i told you that. you said that's fine.
eddie: i didn't know that included our sex life?
steve: why wouldn't it? ... wait, oh no, are you not okay with that?? i'm sorry, i thought you knew??
eddie: oh no, it's fine! it just surprised me is all. y'all are real freaks, carry on
stobin: okay then
robin freaks out before her first date with a girl
robin: what if my vagina looks weird???
steve: are you planning to fuck her on the first date, buckley? and how many times do i have to tell you your vagina looks absolutely normal??
robin: no, i'm not, but it's still a valid concern!!! what if my vagina looks hideous to girls??
eddie, the silent observer: lol
steve: what are you even talking about... a vagina is a vagina, vagina lovers love all vaginas
robin: stop saying vagina
steve: vagina vagina vagina-
robin tackles him and they end up wrestling until steve yields
steve: okay okay,, as someone who's seen his fair share of coochies
robin: that's even worse
steve: yours looks perfectly fine.
eddie: wait, you've seen it?
stobin, staring at him: ...
eddie: right, dumb question
#stobin merging into one entity is my favorite thing ever#stobin#steddie#fic#ficlet#mine#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#stobinie
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Real talk, I have hated setting AUs in previous fandoms and yet I've written so many for this one and have enjoyed many more.
I think this canon lends itself to AUs better than most because so much of it is character-based rather than situational. It's very easy to write a Stede in any setting who's depressed and repressed and decides to make a major change and do something he's not remotely qualified for. It's very easy to write an Ed in any setting who's incredibly bored with his success and dealing with a toxic role with expectations he hates, who's ready to be swept off his feet by Stede's oddball charm.
And largely this comes down to the fact that the ship is canon and it is the point of the story. There is no need to come up with a larger plot to mimic the structure of the show if you don't want to, it won't feel shallow or missing elements if you don't make the romance a subplot, because the show is about them and their relationship. They also are a meet cute couple in canon, so even the typical meet-cute structure of a setting AU doesn't feel forced. It's perfect.
Genuinely I think the reason OFMD is such an AUs georg ass fandom is because the canon of the show is just so fucking good.
Like, I sure as shit was never interested in writing or reading AUs before this show. I'm working on my third 50k+ word AU fic right now and I genuinely love reading AUs for this fandom. Part of that is just how good Ed and Stede work together, you really want to see them fall in love in every conceivable universe.
But mostly? There aren't a lot of fix-it fics in this fandom, and I think that's just because they're so rarely needed. There are few things about this show that I feel strongly about wanting to change. It's such a satisfying show that on the whole I'm not surprised that most people leave wanting to write up entirely new universes because they have so few complaints about what actually happens in the show.
#I'm typing this when i should be asleep and I'm tired but I can't drift off#so if this is stupid please politely ignore it#ofmd#ofmd meta#this is just what I've observed after years of finding setting AUs quite boring and too far from canon situations/characterization
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
Many things I get tired of
#some of which I've already said... some of which would be too hurtful to say#even when I try to say it I just find... that...#explaining this thought falls into the very problem it explains#I can't talk about it without it happening; that's not quite the right words#but the words I need to actually say it are off limits and I can't even explain why#but it's something demonstrably true that I can point to so many instances of#and to be clear this isn't some grand observation about the world this is on a personal level#but I can't say what it is that's causing me harm without causing others harm; that's the closest I can tell you#and even that's probably far too much
0 notes
Text
fear
- gojo satoru x reader
his best friend’s defection is still a hard topic for him to swallow, and it leads into an unexpected argument that spurs you to leave, only to unlock a new fear in him when you get into an unfortunate accident afterwards.
genre/warnings: angst, gojo being mean, one scene with a worried nanami *wink*, injured reader, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end
notes: *sigh* my coping mechanism is still gojo’s past arc, which is why this piece takes place on that timeline. just a little context: reader is in the same class with nanami & haibara and was in the same mission that took haibara's life. this is probably the longest oneshot i've written so far sooo… enjoy! :)
general masterlist
A year and a half had passed since Suguru embarked on his path as a curse user. In that one year and a half, Satoru had finished his last year at Jujutsu High, and now was in the halls of his alma mater, speaking to the newly appointed headmaster who was none other than his teacher.
"You're applying to become a teacher?" Yaga asked again with a frown. He still couldn't wrap his head around it. Granted, he was his most troublesome pupil. "Why, Satoru?"
"If I said it's because I want to train young sorcerers to be strong, would you believe me?"
That was not a lie. It was actually 50% of his main reasons anyway. The other 50% was to repent what he missed with Suguru when he chose his dark path—his contempt with the current system of this jujutsu world.
"I would," Yaga responded gruffly. To him, Satoru was irritating, but he also knew that he was also extremely capable, and thus everything he did wasn't just out of nowhere. "But you still have to submit your applications. We can't make an exception even if you come from a prestigious clan."
"That's fine with me," he grinned. "Thanks, sensei."
On summer days, he'd get reminded of Suguru and silly things they had done together. Eating shaved ice, cycling together, driving either you, Shoko or Nanami mad. Satoru missed those days, it hadn't been the same ever since. Not knowing if his best friend was alright—if he was still alive at all—was exhausting.
Sometimes, he felt like he was the only one who was affected by his departure, the only one who stayed right where Suguru left him. Shoko didn't seem ruffled, if anything she just went to more bars and pachinko parlors as of late. Nanami was always a recluse, he never disclosed his feelings. You mourned him, but it was clear that most part of you would always be more focused on Haibara's death.
Satoru understood that he couldn't force anyone to feel what he felt, and he had no right to. But sometimes, he just wanted someone to connect with at his level. Someone to get him just like Suguru did.
And so when he got back to his condo that night—just right next to the one he rented for Megumi and Tsumiki, since he had moved out of his dorm—to find his girlfriend there with a big smile and a tray of cupcakes, unaware of everything and anything, he merely scoffed to himself.
"Satoru, you're back," you acknowledged, beaming like the sunshine you were. "I just baked these for the kids. Do you want some?"
Usually he'd smother you, throw some pickup lines here and there and say yes, but today, he just felt drained. "No." And with that, he stalked away to the bathroom, not glancing back at you.
It was wrong. But tonight he just wanted some peace and quiet, and so keeping his silence seemed to be the best choice as he didn't want to start a pointless argument with you. But you weren’t anything but observant, and definitely noticed that something was amiss with him.
"Are you... alright?" You approached him warily after he came out of the bathroom with wet hair. "Where were you today?"
"Just somewhere," he replied curtly. Afterwards he turned on the hairdryer, drowning the whole place with the noise even as you stood behind him with a visible question mark.
But you were still there after he dried his hair. "Is something bothering you?" you asked with a tilt of your head, concerned. By all means, you mean well. You just wanted to know if he could use your help at all.
When you pulled that expression, he couldn't help feeling annoyed, like he wanted you to take a hint, but you just didn't. "If you know, then just shut it."
It was probably the first time since the two of you got together that Satoru actually said something harsh. But you still tried to be reasonable though, bless you.
"Satoru, I don't know what got into your nerves like this, but I think sleeping through it might help. Have a rest."
"Why are you talking as if you know it?" he snapped, finally turning to you with his cold gaze. "You might not know anything, so don't be a know-it-all. Just mind your own business."
Now you were frustrated with his reply. "Once again, I don't know what happened to you. But if you're taking it out on me because I'm the closest you have—"
"Who said that?" Satoru didn't know where he got all this venom from. It was just at the forefront of his mind and he just got the urge to spew it. "You're considering yourself closest to me? Where did you get that big head from?"
You were aghast, and you blinked a few times to get your bearings. "Let me guess, it's about Geto-san, isn't it? Or the higher ups. Either of that must be what causing you to blindly place your anger on me."
"So what if it was? It isn't like you'll understand anyway."
"Satoru," you started, trying to even your breathing. "What happened to Geto-san isn't your fault. I've been telling you this. It can't be helped—"
"Can't be helped?" he jeered. "Do you know why it has come to this?" his tone took a dangerous edge as he stepped closer. He reached for you, grasping your wrist.
"Maybe because I was too blind back then. If it weren't for you—if only I didn't spend that much time on you, maybe he would still be here."
Did he just say that? Did he just imply that he had regretted the two of you getting together?
You felt your lower lip start to tremble and something seemed to obscure and blur your vision, making it hard to see him clearly. "You... don't mean that."
"Really?" the corner of his lips curled into a disparaging smile. "You never know. Before you know it, this can be over already. After all, I could have anyone out there that I want. Maybe someone less nosey than—”
That did it. You wrenched your arm out of his grip violently, as your first tear fell. His smirk vanished too, replaced with a total stillness to cover his sudden panic that was followed by a sudden sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach.
"You selfish, self-obsessed jerk," you hissed through watery eyes. He was taken aback, even amidst your anger and possible fear of him, your still managed to throw daggers at him. "Fine. You have it. I'll see myself out."
Satoru never wanted you to leave. Honestly, he would've made you stay. But he wasn't in the right state of mind and it was too late to take back what he said. He didn't want to mess this up even further.
You left the cupcakes, even throwing it away just to spite him. Driven by pain and humiliation, you choked back your sob and didn't spare a glance at him as you shut the door.
Peace and quiet. There he had it, he thought as he clenched his fists, at the cost of everything else.
Leaving that condo, every step you took felt like needles piercing your shattered heart. You wiped your tears roughly. No, you refused to cry over such asshole. He made it clear, didn't he? Whatever it was that you two shared, it was at the cost of his best friend leaving him. So now the blame was on you.
If you were thinking clearly, you would've understood that his words were likely a result of his own pent-up pain and frustration that he had kept to himself for some while. But you had no patience for that or even pinpoint what you felt right now—anger, disappointment or dread, or perhaps all three. You just felt wrongly accused.
Your feet brought you back to your dorm in the school. Now it wasn't as bustling as it once were. After Satoru and Shoko's graduation, you didn't really get close to anyone. There was Ichiji, but he treated you more like a mentor rather than a classmate.
As you sank into the comforts of your bed, You replayed the events, trying to find where it went wrong—and found nothing. After all, you had already said all that could be said. It wasn't just him who lost Geto, but you, Shoko and Nanami did too, but it was more convenient for Satoru to blame everyone else rather than trying to understand that they too shared this pain.
Nevertheless, you were disappointed. You didn't expect half of what he spouted, and it got you doubting everything you had.
"You've royally fucked up."
Satoru exhaled, glaring at Shoko through the corner of his eyes. "Yeah, maybe."
The reverse cursed technique user threw him a blank stare, taking in everything from his disheveled hair to his wrinkled trousers. "Gojo, as much as I can’t care less about your sorry ass, I'm saying this not out of concern for you, but rather for Y/N. You are an asshole."
The puff of smoke she blew expanded to create a cloud-like shape. "Yaga-sensei was our teacher. His student is now a mass murderer and wanted dead. Can you even imagine how he feels? And I can't believe I'm saying this—but weren't there three of us?"
A week had gone by and instead of doing the right thing like trying to get into your good graces, Satoru was in Shoko's infirmary in the headquarters instead. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for by going here. Maybe some lingering taste of his happier student days, and Shoko was the only one remaining.
Three of us, huh... she was right. That was precisely why he came here after all.
"You're just sulking because it seems no one cares about your best friend being the best there is. But have you thought about how our juniors also lost Haibara? Right in front of their eyes? Haibara was our friend too."
He was wrong, of course he was. Satoru realized that now. But it felt wrong to ask for your forgiveness now, not to mention the disrupting thought he had—should he let you go for good altogether?
The phone suddenly rang with such fervor that made Shoko utter a swear word. She was on call duty for the rescue team today, and it was supposedly a peaceful day until Satoru decided to barge in to become her company. "Hello? Ichiji? What—speak clearly, I can't hear you."
She switched it to loudspeaker. "...iri-san! Ieiri-san—h-help—please—"
It was noisy, and blaring at the same time, and Ichiji was... Sobbing? Choking? His voice was terribly muffled and—
"L/N-san!" he cried, and Satoru remembered at that moment that you should be in a mission with Ichiji, he remembered you telling him before.
"Hic—s-she fell... hic—she fell! B-blood! She i-is bleeding so much! I-Ieiri-san—hic—s-send help! Please!"
"Hey, stay awake. Breathe. Just breathe."
Everything hurt. Most notably, your head. You could hardly think straight when all you felt was blinding pain and how your breaths came in short wheezes.
Your vision was blurry. The numbness had started to set in and chills ran up and down your spine. You couldn't make out who in front of you was. Was it Ichiji, who went with you in this mission? The only thing that glared was blue.
"You can't sleep, you hear me?" the voice was commanding, willing you to do his bidding. It was familiar, but usually his tone of voice was much lighter, happier.
Satoru.
But why was he here? He wasn't in this mission. It was supposed to be a mission for you and Ichiji.
You remembered getting the cursed spirit after manifesting your domain expansion, until in its last ditch attempt, it went after Ichiji. You had no choice—even when your cursed energy had burned out, you still shoved him away at the cost of being flung from the top of a building.
Not again. Not after Haibara. You’d gladly pay the price if it meant you didn't have to see anyone die in front of you again.
"I..." You managed to croak out—breathing hurt, and you felt your hands being grasped tightly.
"Hey, just breathe. Y/N. Look at me.” Through your blurry haze, you focused on that cold blue, and you saw him. Satoru's sharp eyes, pursed lips and frown. He's really here.
Satoru always said that if there was a cursed spirit apocalypse, then Ichiji would be the first to die. You used to scold him for that, but now as you a laid here possibly dying in your own pool of blood, you found it to be true.
Yet at the same time you knew that with him here, Ichiji must be safe already, and it gave you reassurance so great even when you were on the verge of dying. "I... can't..."
"Yes, you can. Just look at me," he firmly rebuked, his voice came out in a hiss. For all the time you had been with him, you had never heard him so forceful. "If you close your eyes now, I won't forgive you. So please, just hang in there."
It was a struggle to take in any air and darkness encroached on your vision as your consciousness began slipping away.
And everything faded to nothingness.
Satoru honestly thought he had no fears. His worst fear had fully realized after all—Suguru going away into the darkness. What more could he possibly fear?
But when he heard Ichiji's distress call for rescue team, about how you fell from a rooftop of a building and unconscious, he realized that it was a fear he didn't know existed. His mind got disoriented and he teleported to the scene on impulse. He just had to see it for himself. With their petty argument still lacking closure, he felt even worse.
And the sight before him gave him so much fright he never thought was possible.
It was a mistake, he should have brought Shoko along.
You had laid there like a broken doll, your eyes dimmed, and not been able to breathe. He desperately tried to keep you awake, his presence beside you, yet it didn't seem to matter. He watched helplessly as you passed out in his arms.
Satoru felt nothing. The panic that had set in was suddenly gone as your limp body slumped against him, replaced by incessant ringing in his ears and tremor wracking his nervous system. It wasn't long until the rescue team came to retrieve you and even then he still felt numb. He rejected the idea that you might possibly die on him.
That went on until Shoko, who assisted in the emergency treatment, came out of the surgery, sweat on her forehead.
"It's even worse than the aftermath of the guardian deity mission last year," Shoko explained with a grim expression. "Her brain has sustained damage and it affects everything. It may take her quite a while before she can go back to the field."
When she said that, Satoru felt terror washed over him again. You almost died—was all he perceived.
The two of you had no contact for a week just because of his ego. He could still recall that day with vivid clarity, feeling a burning ache in his chest. If someone were to ask him what heartbreak was like, now he certainly would he able the to tell them the two instances in which he experienced them. What he felt now mirrored the same stinging sensation he had felt when Suguru left him.
He visited you when he was allowed to, and you were still unconscious, with many machines connected to your body. It was a sight he still couldn’t bring himself to get used to. He had seen you injured before, but never seen you in your own pool of blood, so this made him feel sick to his stomach.
"Stupid," he whispered, gently rubbing your forehead. His eyes remained fixated on you as you rested, his insides still churning with emotions. "You're not weak, and you're not hopeless." Once upon a time, Satoru might have thought of you as weak, but now he knew better.
"So why you always pick the worst decision?" The more he thought this could've been avoided, the more irked he was. The thought that he could have done something to prevent it intensified the sting of guilt, and he continued to punish himself with it.
And the more he dwelled on the idea that he had hurt you prior to this, the tighter his breath became.
But that was who you were. Self-sacrificing to a fault. And he loved you for that. There was no way of him letting you go now.
It astonished even himself—that he was capable of this love thing. At first it was an attraction, but now that you had been going on for more than a year, it felt like it was no longer a silly infatuation after all.
"Hurry and wake up, will you?" Satoru gently brushed your hair aside, his eyes fixed on you. He didn't know it even as his gut twisted, his frown deepened and his touch quivered, that he was worried sick. "I have a lot to make up for."
And he left you with a tender brush of his lips against your forehead.
Nanami Kento was the first person you saw when you awoke from coma.
You struggled to regain your senses, still feeling absolutely broken. The dull throb on the back of your head was still there, and as if you had found yourself trapped in a fog, you were only able to move sluggishly.
"You're awake?" his gruff voice greeted, laced with concern. In his hand were a bucket of fresh flowers and fruits basket, which he soon placed at the table next to your bed.
It was unexpected, because ever since the tragedy that costed Haibara's life, the two of you had been drifting apart.
You nodded, and let out a hum in response—all you could manage at the moment.
"Thank God." Nanami sounded relieved as he pinched the bridge between his eyes, and you were moved that he had shown this degree of concern.
Your remaining classmate, who suffered the burden of Haibara's life just like you. He was always quiet or brooding somewhere, hiding his own feelings.
You felt tears pricking the corner of your eyes. The fact that he visited you meant that he hadn't decided to cut you out of his life yet.
"Gojo-san is out today, but he'll be back by afternoon," he said, mistranslating your tears as some sort of a want to have your annoying—ex?—boyfriend at your side.
The two of you were still not on talking terms, weren’t you?
You so badly wanted to say thank you to him—and tell him that no, you weren't looking for Satoru—but it came out hoarse and barely above a whisper.
"Huh?" Nanami then realized what you were trying to say, and a faint smile graced his lips. "Just... get well soon, L/N. Have a good rest."
Just before you drifted back to sleep, you could hear him sigh and mutter, "Hello, Gojo-san? L/N has awakened. Just letting you know is all.”
You weren't sure how much time had passed when you woke up the second time, but the curtains were already drawn and only darkness came from the window. Your body felt lighter, but you still felt like a mess and and couldn't help but groan in discomfort.
Satoru was there, he perked up at the noise you made. And you realized that it was the first time in about a week that he faced you after that disasterous almost-breakup.
He walked up to you, his expression was more hopeful than you had ever seen him before, like a kid whose wish had been granted. He slowly shifted to sit beside you.
"Hey, welcome back." His voice was soft. It was a change of pace for him, as you were used to seeing him all loud and silly.
Now your voice no longer sounds like a lead. "Hey."
"How are you feeling?" he asked and you took a moment to look at him. He was smiling, but exhaustion reached his bright eyes, dimming them. "You know, with the whole you passing out and almost dying thing?"
His words were almost humorous as he spoke, like he didn't know what else to say except try to lighten the mood, but there was also a strain on his tone, like he was holding back.
"I'm quite fine now, I suppose..." You still felt the lingering pain and dizziness as you slowly sat up. Satoru reached out to steady you—and you realized how his fingers trembled when they made contact with your body—as his brows furrowed with worry when you winced.
"You don't look like it though." His voice dropped and the humor was gone, replaced by this haunted look. You blinked. It was probably the first time you had seem him this ruffled.
He immediately pulled you into a hug, cradling your head to his neck gently, as if to protect and shield you from the world altogether. Exhaling heavily, he leaned on you. "You scared me, you know that?"
You wondered out loud if you really had that hold over him. "Did I?"
"You can't do that to me, you hear?" Satoru stroked your hair, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck. His voice quivered. “Don't ever do that again.”
He pulled you tighter against him, but still careful not to crush you.
You let out a snicker, letting go of everything you felt during this horrible week. "Heh, afraid to lose me, huh?"
"Shut up,” he grumbled. “What were you thinking anyway? How did you calculate that freefalling is better than letting that cursed spirit attack Ichiji?”
"He was defenseless. He could die, you know that."
"And you also can," he quipped, upset, pulling away enough to look you squarely in the eyes, his eyes devoid of any expression, yet filled with a raging wave that you could only interpret as undiluted concern.
The emphasis in his tone made you recoil and feel guilty. If you were in his shoes, you probably would've said the same thing and so you had nothing to say to that.
But the more pressing agenda in the list was the unspoken silent treatment the two of you saw fit to use against each other for the last few days. Satoru was the one who decided to address it first.
"About that night..." he faltered, looking away. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry."
Satoru always had trouble processing emotions. This time too. He must've a hard time dealing with the anxiety caused by the possibility of him losing you for good, no matter how much he tried to be unaware of it.
"..." You wanted to respond, to make him understand your point, but somehow right now you were just too weary. And he sensed your reluctance. So you blurted the first thing that gnawed at your mind.
“You said you could have any other women out there—”
"No, really—" he started to panic, and it was blatantly too, which surprised you. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Us. I don't regret anything. I’m not breaking up with you. Being with you is the happiest I've been ever since Suguru left."
“That's...” you blinked, before letting out a small sigh. “Okay. Fine then. Let's just put it behind us for now.”
“I—” he almost wheezed, his bright blue eyes were overtaken with sheer urgency to explain how wrong everything had been that night. “You must know that I didn’t mean any of it. And that I hate hurting you the way I did. I won’t—”
"Satoru, I understand," you let out another sigh, fidgeting with your fingers. "Sometimes when I’m reminded of Haibara, I also get sad. I don't want to presume but I think I know how you feel. Just next time, maybe," you shifted your gaze on him, seeing how you had his attention fully. Gojo Satoru, the strongest now, was looking at you as if you had his fate in your hands. "Just tell me if you need space and I would have understood."
"Yeah, okay, sure," he responded immediately, relieved, before a lopsided grin appeared on his face, turning him back into your dork slash boyfriend. "So, am I forgiven now?"
"A thank you would be nice."
In the end, he chuckled, seemingly resigned. "You should sleep more."
He positioned himself into bed next to you, and you let him pull you into his chest again. You could feel how his taut back started to relax upon the contact. He pressed his lips on your forehead in a fleeting kiss.
"Promise me you won't pull that stunt again.”
You smirked. "I can't. What if Ichiji—"
"Then just let him die."
You swatted his arm playfully, pressing your head to his chest as he continued to run his fingers on your hair. He cushioned you carefully, and you felt the tension in him slowly melt away with each breath you took. In your mind, you figured he needed this closeness more than you did, if anything, for the sake of his sanity.
“I love you,” he whispered by your ear, kissing it lightly.
“Mmhm.”
As you felt Satoru's calming presence, it helped ease you into slumber. You soon found yourself in a deep sleep, comfortably held in his embrace.
Epilogue
Ichiji gulped as Satoru stared him down, sizing him up as if he was the most despicable creature on this planet.
Okay, he might be. He was a coward, all he could do was trembling in the face of evil. But he had come in peace, even bringing fruits as an offering! He felt bad too that he was the partial cause for you to be this injured.
He was used to Satoru terrorizing him—calling him names, slapping him, and whatnot—and he could take it. Just this time, he really looked like he could murder him on the spot if he wanted to. A small part of Ichiji mourned that you were his girlfriend, because that pretty much sealed his fate that Gojo Satoru could indeed murder him on the spot because he had a valid enough reason to.
"You are—"
"No! I'm sorry, Gojo-san! I'm sorry for my incompetence!"
"Hah?"
If he was mildly irked before, now Satoru was visibly irritated.
"You're not cut out to be a jujutsu sorcerer," he started. "You're useless. You just get in the way most of the time."
Ichiji kept his head down. No, no. He can't cry!
"Get your driving license or I'll slap the shit out of you."
"Oh?" and before he knew it, Satoru had stalked away, leaving him in the dust. How rude! But...
Get a driver license? Quit the jujutsu work?
Hey, that sounds like something I can do!
#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru angst#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#hurt/comfort#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk gojo#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen imagines#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#nanami kento#jjk gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo satoru imagines#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
coyote head and the body of a man — (e)
ghost/fem reader There's a killer on the loose. But your logging town is small and quaint and doesn't even appear on maps, so you know you're safe. That all changes when a gruff, big, taciturn man shows up at your workplace one day. Or; Simon is a fugitive serial killer, and you're the housekeeping girl that caught his eye.
cw for explicit content, graphic violence, possessive behaviour, size difference, cunnilingus, stalking
pinterest board | ao3 | for @spidehpig <3
Sometimes, you believe you were born in the centre of a dying star.
Born on the crest of death and fated for a bleak life. Dead, before you even had a chance.
The universe sweeps before you. Infinite. Expansive. Hungry. You float at the mouth of the galaxy and it swallows you whole, but doesn’t seem to like the taste of you—too bland, too trite—so it spits you back out and sends you tailspinning.
You land with a lack of courtesy. Tossed between trees and dropped in a basin. You find yourself in nowhere, Oregon. In a town flecked by a lake inlet and a clement fjord, where the moose population outnumbers the people population. It has a maritime allure but strangely enough, isn’t commercial enough to be a tourist hub. It’s too hidden in the thicket. Too deep in a borehole.
Every day here is the same. It's an abyss that yawns before you with no end in sight, lacking undue entertainment and vividness and excitement. There’s no light pollution so far off the beaten track, so oftentimes, you’ll wish upon shooting stars for someone to come for your deliverance.
There’s a reason they say be careful what you wish for.
The day isn’t even halfway over and your bone tips already ache with hard work.
It isn’t to say your workplace is busy. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. A cut-rate motel with more vacancies than residents found far-removed from the highway, taking only cash, no card, which is good for deterring paper trails and welcoming the transient but is bad for providing records when the police come knocking.
You’ll get the occasional trucker, the sparse backpacker. In any case, folks stay here when they don’t want to be bothered. They’ll drive past the splintery welcome sign and stop at the diner for earthy, full-bodied coffee and a slice of famous rhubarb pie. They’ll recuperate in the motel and leave before sunrise, and you’ll be there to clean up what they leave behind, scrubbing the memory out of the fibreglass bathtub for whoever’s next.
It’s a place where time fleets away. Hallucinatory. Where people pay their due and you hang your head because after all, you’re nothing more than the housekeeping girl. Cottony pinafore and a black dress. Mary Jane flats. Fingers desquamating from years of bleach and vinegar stuck in your nail beds. You get handed dog-eared tips and in return, you don’t ask questions. But maybe you should have.
You’re sliding the window cleaner back into its compartment on the cleaning cart just as your boss scales the veranda. He’s grinning and sporting sweat stains across his armpits. A patchy beard. A loose tie.
Your nerves lock up tight when he grasps your shoulders. His razorous fingers and the pinchbeck of his wedding band saws under your skin. The dregs of his afternoon drinking knocks into you, and you try not to let your body betray you. Despite that, your eyes water and your nose crinkles. You white-knuckle your dress and almost pop the fabric of your pinafore.
“How’s my favourite employee?” he grins. “Is she workin’ hard?”
There’s an irreverent innuendo somewhere in his smile. You ignore it and opt for a stale smile.
“I’m working,” you eke out. “I've got to restock the bathroom, then I’m done.”
“That’s good, peach. Real good,” he watches you collect toiletry essentials, then tacks on, “there’s a man in the lobby.”
You falter. The travel-sized shampoo bottle almost slips between your forefinger and thumb.
“An outsider.”
It’s an observation, not a question. If the man in the lobby were a local, Phillip would have given you a name because in this town, everybody knows everybody. The fact that a name was bereft tells you your new guest came from elsewhere. Maybe he’s cutting through the main road on his way to Yachats for your town’s cascade mountains and bigleaf maple, or for the diner’s famous rhubarb pie. In any case, he's in need of a rest stop.
“Mh. I’m gonna check him in. Just wanted to let you know I’m givin’ him this room, so try to hurry it up, okay peach?”
You blink slowly. This motel holds twelve rooms—there’s never been a need for any more—and currently, nine of those are occupied. That leaves three. There’s no reason for your boss to put up the new guest in Room 11, especially when you’re still cleaning it.
Phillip reads the question in the bend of your eyebrow. He smiles knowingly and pats your head. “He requested a room on the higher level. Room 9’s aircon is busted and Room 6 shares a wall with the Pettie’s. They’re loud.”
You sigh. “Ah.”
“Sorry peach,” he smiles like he’s apologetic, but you don’t think that’s the case. “Just get it done, alright? And add some extra coffee packets."
You furrow your lips. Displeasure flutters over you but you wash it away with a smile, refusing to irk him. You nod and pivot, bones bending against your skin for an escape as his hand whispers against your bum in an encouraging caress.
Anger simmers in your marrow. Phillip simply chuckles, disparaging.
“That’s a sweet peach.”
His voice gets muted by the tinny, rattling radiator as you make it to the bathroom. You stock it up dutifully—perhaps taking extra long to ensure he's not waiting outside for you—and spritz air freshener around the room when you finish. It’s a flaky, expired bottle of Platinum Ice which barely masks the town’s deep-seated smell of old-growth forest, petrichor and woody debris. You hope the new guest doesn’t have a sharp nose.
You make sure to stuff the coffee station with extra packets before stepping out of the room. Off the mysteriously stained carpet, onto the veranda. You putter around with your large keyring, thumbing through the nickel-brass since you also have a key to the elementary school, post office, and city hall (aptly titled shitty hall by locals, since this town isn’t much of a city and the building’s roof is held together by nothing but rusty rivets and tassels of sprig collected in the corners). You’ve got so many keys because again, everybody knows everybody, and it isn’t rare to see the housekeeping girl at the motor lodge supplementing her income as a part-time teaching aid.
Finally, you find the master key. You lock the room and roll the cleaning cart into the utility room before locking that too. Your wrist drags across your forehead, wiping away sweat, and you tug on your dress because perspiration has pasted it onto the pert curve of your breasts, the squish of your thighs. You furtively glance down your bodice and watch how the sweat pocks your skin, knotting your nipples against your cheap bra. Lament catches you in regards to your shower after work—it’s going to be freezing since the heating system here is so fickle—and in the paroxysm of your grief, the sound of heavy breathing eludes you.
You don’t hear his footsteps. He’s an ambush predator. Stalking and shadowing in the tall grass, waiting for the moment your hackles melt to bite into your neck like an unripe stone fruit. You don’t see him, but you feel him. His breath tickling down your neck. The erogenous zone behind your ear.
A gasp parts your lips and you whip around, coming face-to-face with a paunchy chest plated by moth-eaten flannel. You heft your head up, exercising the hinge in your neck. Paling at the sight that greets you.
He has a Cabela’s cap on. It’s pulled over his eyes, but a few blonde curls peek out from under the crown of his hat. He has a damaged, blistered face. A cauliflower ear. Nicks on his cheeks that distend from his skin and have turned pallid with time, rippling like seafoam petticoats on waves as he flickers his jaw. He wears jeans and mud-clogged boots and holds a duffel bag.
His gaze unties you. You slowly find words, fitting them in an orderly queue in your mind as you avert your gaze and stare at the floor. Squirming. Preening. Sweltering.
“Welcome to Sockeye Inn, mister…”
Silence. He lets your words awkwardly trail off. Doesn’t do anything to belay the discomfort in your belly. The man simply stares at you with brown eyes.
Humiliation crawls up your spine and settles on your cheeks. It burns through your skin, withering you away, to which you fidget with your fingers and baldly nod towards the door.
“Your room is ready,” you murmur. “Enjoy your stay, sir. Uh– if you need anything just give us a shout. Phone’s on the bedside table.”
Foolishly, you wait for a response again. Nothing. He towers over you, owlishly blinking, one slower than the other because he seems to have a lazy eye. You clench your skirt and softly shoulder past him, heading for the stairs as you hear him putter with the keyhole.
You’ve halfway scaled it when a rasp distorted by what seems to be years of cigarettes stops you dead in your tracks.
“Bring me a BLT and root beer.”
You burn up at the muscle in his voice. The drag. Just as you’re about to reply, his room door slams shut and rocks across the veranda.
Your dress is stickier than it was before. Perhaps an ice cold shower isn’t so bad after all.
The end of your shift slowly arrogates.
After delivering food to Simon Riley—you glinted at the logbook while waiting for his order, reading his name—you left his room as soon as possible. You set the food down and found yourself plugging your nose. The Platinum Ice you sprayed before didn’t accost you— instead, it was pomade. Lucky Strike cigarettes. Decaying heartwood. Bleach.
You pointedly breathed through your mouth. It didn’t actually help though, since you could taste it then. The ethanol in the air drizzled over your pockmarked tongue and glided down your throat. Collected in your stomach.
You almost retched it back up at the sight of him.
Through the foggy shower wall, the colour of his hazy contour was striking. It seemed to be a tight fit for him, hemming in his lumberjack build. The shampoo bottle looked like a damn accessory in his large hands and his chased shoulder blades pressed soap against the glass pane, sudsy.
Your curiosity pulled your gaze lower. Down to the heavy mass between his thighs, thick and fat. Bulbous.
His spine suddenly went erect, straightening like a chary animal. As if by the agitated pappus of his skin, his chin lifted in your direction, and that’s when the earth collapsed under your feet and you beetled for the door.
You distract yourself in the kitchen. Emptying the dishwasher. Taking the garbage to the bear-proof receptacles. Putting the oven on steam clean. Kate, the kitchen supervisor, stares at you oddly under her hairnet but she isn’t going to reject a set of helping hands.
You scrub at a pan hoping it will erase the image burned into your mind. Hoping that the steel wool will have the same effect on your temporal lobe as it does on the pan. You don’t realize your hands are chafing and the pan is flaking, not until Kate is passionately complaining beside you, her spit dashing onto the side of your face.
“—fuckin’ freeloaders. They drain our taxes but can’t even do their damn jobs. Wait until one of their family gets butchered, you’ll see, that’s when they’ll start taking this seriously.”
She waves a newspaper in your face. The paper stack fans in front of you, blowing you with cool air. You’re just barely able to read the big, blocky headline.
Connection Made Between Ventura, Gilroy and Eugene Serial Killer — Aptly Coined the Ghost.
“Eugene!” Kate slaps the newspaper, frazzled. “Not even three hours from us!”
You scarcely listen to her, her voice ripening into white noise as you scrutinize the police sketch on the newspaper’s margin. The offender is drawn with an overripe balaclava and probing eyes. Dark brown, as if his corneal opacity has laid claim before death. His eyelids have no tension, but a furl of crow's feet gather at the corners. It’s uncanny. Eerie. And even though he’s pressed on paper, you can’t help the unease welling inside you.
A part of you waits for the other shoe to drop. For him to manifest and crawl out of the paper, dripping ink and viscous tar, ruining your Mary Jane flats and the floor you’d just mopped.
Hemlock hits the back of your throat. Lemony, sedgy. Your eyes fixate on the information detailing his crimes. Spines broken and necks snapped with inhumane strength. Pieces of flesh carved with the precision of either a surgeon or a butcher. Rigour mortis locking the victims in a scream, nail beds caked with skin which implies a struggle, but leads nowhere since the Ghost’s DNA hasn’t been found on any database.
(He’s as elusive as his name suggests. Investigators say he could be foreign, or that he has a clean record. The latter seems unlikely for the violent calibre of his crimes.)
There’s also his modus operandi—slicing off his victim’s ring finger, taking it with him. A cruel reward.
“They say he’s taking Route 101,” Kate tacks on. “That he’s a long-hauler. How the hell will they catch a long-hauler?”
You shake your head, shrugging. Your tongue is too heavy and your gums rub against the round of your cheeks when you try speaking. The sentence gets snagged on your molars, and all that comes out are sparse words, lamely falling to the floor with how out of breath you are.
“…They’ll catch him.”
“They better,” she shortly huffs. “I don’t want this town making the paper for all the wrong reasons.”
Death comes to you in a cornfield.
You’re sprinting through the crop, barefoot and scantily clad and pricked by thorns. Your clothing catches on thistle and corn husk, slowing you down, but the quick-footed trampling at your tail keeps your pace steady and stable.
Your lungs burn. Your bones rasp. Your eyes well up with how fast you’re moving, with how your retinas strain to see more in the pitch black than just reflective corn silk and the crescent moon.
The midnight sky is close to swallowing you whole, but at this point that would be an act of mercy. The whistle of his cleaver slicing through the air and the stomp of his boots are promptly catching up, heckling you, barely whispering against the flowy cotton of your dress.
By a cruel twist of fate your foot catches on a tiller and sends you flying. Your nose softens the impact, the crack of cartilage reverberating through your skull, glutinous red spurting down your chin as you try scrambling to your feet.
But true to his name, Ghost, he slips through matter and suddenly, he’s standing in front of you.
Black, sweaty tank top. Freshly sharpened meat cleaver. Stout arms. Predatory eyes. Rotting balaclava—which at this point, you’re starting to believe was grafted onto his face, fitting him like skin.
You raise your hands for mercy.
But you should know dead stars have exhausted all their luminosity—that after death, they hold no power. That space is a graveyard. That’s why the Ghost poises his cleaver behind him. That’s why the last thing you see is his cleaver handle swinging towards you, about to collide with and shatter your cheekbone into a million pieces—
—but daylight strikes you with no clear trajectory.
It’s your alarm that rings, waking you up from a nightmare, telling you to brush your teeth and scrub yourself down and pop your supplements before biking to work. You do so sluggishly, standing under the shower spray as you massage your cheekbone. Burning your toast as you scour the news for developing details on the Ghost case. Ordering a cup of coffee from the local diner and gulping it down behind the motel lest Phillip catches you.
Your nightmare—omen, prophecy, portent of death?—pursues you like the persistent stench of fish on an angler’s hands all morning. You flinch at the slightest noise while scrubbing toilets, you constantly look over your shoulder while sweeping floors.
Malaise builds in your blood vessels like creosote. It doesn’t thin into fluid, flowing in and out of your appendages and around your sex until you situate yourself in front of Room 11. Fluffing up your skirt and puffing out your chest.
You announce your presence and rap the door with your Mary Jane flat because your hands are occupied with new bed sheets. Your knuckles blanch around the linen, quivering, struggling to keep it in your grip. The sheets almost flutter to your feet when a voice penetrates the door, abrasive and husky. Rough. Grating against your spine and shaving down the vertebrae.
“Door’s open.”
You wait a few seconds before contorting yourself against the threshold. You try the handle and lo and behold, it’s unlocked, swinging open when you press your weight onto it.
You step inside and toe off your flats. Next to Simon’s boots, they look fit for a doll, and a dizzy spell ricochets through you at the size difference. At the stark reminder that he’s as big and packed as a thick tree stump.
You walk inside and heed the CRT television playing the news.
It does nothing to soften the scream that rips out of you as you round the corner.
Simon is in bed, pulling on a cigarette. His pudgy tummy and bristly chest are bared, the steel wool of his happy trail disappearing into the bed sheets furled around his hips. The flat sheet is thin enough to outline something stirring. Something thick and pressed against his inner thigh.
He stares at you, eyes of Argus. It’s so intense you’re sure he can sense the slick running down your back. The dew that settles in the gusset of your panties.
You stutter. “I can come back later.”
Simon sits up with a groan. It rattles you. His joints must be fettered with age, or hard work, but in any case your head goes cottony with the picture of him splitting wood and hauling heavy bovine flanks.
You swallow thick as he shakes his head. “It’s no problem, sugar. I’m not even here.”
The pet name makes you squirm. You sure do feel like it—sugar, that is—with the way you could melt on his tongue, wedge yourself between his teeth. Turn syrupy and sappy at the back of his throat.
He takes another drag of his cigarette. You watch raptly as his jaw feathers around it, lips proffering another plume of smoke.
He blinks. “Well?”
You eke out an apology and fiddle with your hands.
“I’ll have to, um, change your bedsheets first.”
Simon shakes his head. He taps the ashy casualties off the tip of his cigarette and you watch as it sinks onto the bed sheet, almost burning through the floral motif. “No need.”
“Well,” you cough, forcing your eyes away from him, “if I don’t, my boss…”
Simon pricks up. The hind of his spine straightens the same way a dog would sit straight and plumb after hearing rustling in a bush. His muscles tighten, thick, and his face twists into a sneer. The bed sheet around him falls and you lock up tight lest it bare his pubic bone.
“Is he a minger?”
“I’m sorry?”
He huffs. “‘s he a bully?”
“Oh, no,” you blandly laugh. “Mister Graves isn’t a bully. He just…”
“Makes you uncomfortable?”
There’s a lapse between acknowledging his question and spitting out an answer that makes you kick yourself. Simon already looks dubious. You hug the sheets closer to your chest and smile, your cheeks feathering like beeswax.
“He’s a kind man.”
“Not wha’ I asked,” he says. The bed creaks as he leans forward, the sheets slipping lower, scarcely covering his sex. “I asked if he does stuff he shouldn’t be doin’.”
Your heartbeat quickens. Briefly, you wonder if he can hear it. He probably can, albeit softly, due to his lumpy cauliflower ear.
“He’s a married man,” you mumble. “He doesn’t touch me if that’s what you mean. Not like that.”
“There’s only one way to touch someone,” Simon grunts. His chest starts churning a little, as if he’s agitated. “Does he put his hands on you?”
Your skin burns, remembering. A phantom scar runs through you, long and creeping, mapping all the places in which Phillip’s pinchbeck wedding ring has burned you. The suture of your spine, the pappy flesh of your neck, the rise of your hips where his palm has melted through your dress and smarted your skin.
Your silence makes Simon grunt.
Panic surges up your throat. You feel the need to defend Phillip, in some approximation of gratitude and fear since you’re on his payroll and you don’t want to reap the consequences should you rat on him and he find out.
“No!” you hurry. “Mister Graves isn’t like that. He’s a good man. Honest.”
Simon’s eyes push against your skin. He scrutinizes you, tests you. Waits to see if you’ll fidget too much and flake away and sink into the carpet.
He growls. “You fancy him, is tha’ it?”
Answering yes is the only way to shake him off your leg. You do so archly, so it seems as though the thought of your boss has you flushing when really it’s Simon. He’s fully upright, and now you can see the girthy base of his cock. Stirring, twitching. You suppress a moan.
“Yeah…” you murmur. You can feel your makeup turning blotchy, running down your cheeks. “It’s just a bit…embarrassing, is all.”
He lapses into it again. Staring at you. Razoring his way into your head and thumbing through your consciousness, searching for an Achilles’ heel. A crack he can break into a hole because he has the size for it—barrel-chested, stupidly thick fingers.
Simon slips out of bed and disturbs the coiled aches of the mattress. He holds a washcloth over his crotch. It’s crusty and keeps shape and covers almost nothing, confirming your inkling.
His bulbous cockhead winks at you from under the hem. It’s heavy. Leaky. Dripping precum that laves down his legs and gets caught in the wiry hair of his thigh.
Anxiety pools in your armpits and around your groin. Or maybe that’s just arousal. Brackish and sticky, rubbing your pussy lips together, hugging your clit.
Simon pulls on his cigarette once more and then folds it into the bedside table. You should scold him. You should tell him that he’ll have to pay for damages even though the wood is already degraded and mouldy. You should scuttle out of the room and call for Phillip, but that would be a crueler fate. Instead you stay fixed to the carpet as Simon steps forward. Cock swinging between his legs, tummy jiggling.
You don’t know whether he’s going to pull you in for a kiss or rip off your dress or—and you’re unsure why you think of this—take you by your skull and smash it against the television stand. He has the muscle to, surely, but somehow you know he won’t. And the thought of that makes your skin hot.
You’re at his mercy.
You gird yourself for his lips or for your dress to be torn off, but your preparations flux away as Simon steps close and crowds you against the television stand. The stench of Lucky Strike cigarettes and gamey meat impair you, as he reaches behind you and increases the television volume. You want to say something but cotton fills your mouth and the news report floods your ears. It’s fragmentary—you can only heed oddments of the news anchor’s latest updates.
The Ghost is still at large. Corpses keep popping up around California and Oregon, each with their ring fingers sliced off. The tipline has been leading investigators nowhere, shepherding them to the end of the earth and over the edge, floating, where they’ll move through molasses and will never be able to catch him.
White male. 6’4”. 196 centimetres. Brown eyes. Heavyset. Likely military background. Likely a surgeon, or a butcher. A dangerous, ruthless individual.
If spotted, do not approach.
Simon’s breath fans against your neck, rousing the bristles of your warm cheeks. He turns off the television and steps back. An ether opens up in the pit of your stomach as your gaze falls on his bulging pelvis, on the purplish veins and webbing muscle, sitting like a tuft under his navel, disappearing behind the washcloth where his cock stirs.
Simon tuts. “World’s goin’ to shite.”
You nod.
“You shouldn’t be out here anyway,” he tacks on. “Should be at home takin’ care of your man’s house. Keepin’ safe.”
You flash your naked ring finger embarrassingly fast. “I-It’s just me…and my cat.”
His eyes darken. His head tilts down at you. He purrs.
“Better get started on mine then,” he breathes. “Put yourself to good use.”
You shyly get to cleaning his room.
You try to ignore his hand disappearing behind the washcloth, pumping his cock. You can’t ignore the silk ruining your panties. Scarcely, you manage to ignore the caution creeping up your back. Your lower instinct that screams at you as you feel his stare tracking you across the room, burning. Smouldering. Warning.
Daylight scissors into you.
It melts the sleep in the corners of your eyes. It clears the haze in your head. It interrupts the sultry dream you were having. Your flesh is still pocked and your clit is still peaked, as you rehash the contents of it.
You can still feel Simon’s weight on top of you, sweat compressioning you, the sheets gathering under your slick back. Your underwear had dangled from one of your ankles, flapping and swaying as Simon pounded into you. Your head bobbed over the lip of the mattress. Your tits bounced, nipples caught between his gnashers. Your slick ran down your cunt and over your asshole, pooling onto the floral bed sheets. You just quit your job. You didn’t care about the sheets. Or the Pettie’s down the veranda. Phillip was on the other side of the door too, and he could hear everything. Your moans. Simon’s balls dragging over your furled hole. His groans—
—And the sudden tearing of cartilage and skin stretching, rubbery, as Simon shifted into something else above you. Something larger. Deadlier. His drool dripped onto your chest, and his cock was suddenly too big for your pussy, popping back out until only his tip managed to squeeze inside your puffy hole. He snarled down at you, but it got covered by a creeping balaclava. You still reached your orgasm, quivering around his cockhead. Watching him go spotty and graphite-like in your vision, as if he were a composite sketch.
You get out of bed and wash the absurd dream away under the shower. The nozzle hits your clit weakly, and you never reach your high. You show up to work pigeon-toed and sweaty. Pent-up. You scrub harder at bathtubs and almost snap at Phillip when he swats your bum. Almost. Simon is watching from the dining hall, and he makes you skittish.
The day rolls by sluggishly. There’s a Do Not Disturb sign dangling from Simon’s door, so you don’t get the chance to see him in his room. You huff and puff at the Pettie’s and give Kate attitude. It’s the peak of afternoon when you’re sent home, shoulders stiff because Phillip squeezed them and tacked on, ”I can always help out if you’re stressed, peach,” before shepherding you out the door.
You bike into town. Indulge in the diner’s famous rhubarb pie because the motel’s cherry pie is nowhere near as good, though you’ll never tell Kate that. You polish off your treat then ride to the beach (which is more of a graveyard for birds and braided, washed ashore sea meadow), and prop your bike against the wooden bollards.
The beach is familiar with you. It sees you when you're overwhelmed by the monotonous colour of your life. You never worry about meddling kids or loud teenagers or anything, because the stench of fish usually keeps them away anyway. It's your own Shangri-La. Your little Eden. Albeit overcast and greyscale, with an ocean spray that gets into your hair and dries out your mouth.
You slip out of your Mary Jane flats and wade through the sand dunes, breathing in salt and sulfur and tasting it on your lips. You maneuver around seawrack and driftwood and eventually find yourself seated behind a tussock of seaoats, watching as the waves lazily beat against the shore.
It's easy for you to lie down and get comfortable among the scent of iodine and the feel of pillowy granules. It's also easy to let your eyes flutter shut, lulled into limbo by the ebbing tide and murmuring waves.
You stir awake with flaccid lungs.
Presentiment hangs in the air, thick, like a blanket of smog. It interrupts your breathing pattern and makes you light-headed. Vertiginous. Makes you see things that aren't there…
…Such as the off-white scleras and twists of dilated blood vessels that stare at you from the foreshore.
They approach you eerily. Two pieces of driftwood floating over the waves, jolting slightly as it hits the sand, splintery and mossy and heavy.
The man feathers toward you from the blue glow of the beach. You squint through the darkness, because maybe it's the sheriff, but you know he walks with a drunken gait and he…strides like a bear on its hind legs.
The way he lurches for you says otherwise. Perhaps he's rather a panther or a coyote, or some crude backyard breed of all three.
A large palm splits itself over your mouth. An arm lays beside you and secretes a musk of sweat and iron. A knee digs into the plush of your cunt, agitating your clit, as a warm breath fans over your pulse point.
"Waited for me, didn't you?" he rasps against your neck.
In your stupor, you brace your hands against his shoulders. A sticky substance coats his skin, too viscous to be sweat.
Nausea knots in your throat. Tremors wash over your body. You dig your nails into his flesh, and when your hands don't fall through it like you hoped, you gravely realize he's made of muscle and skin instead of your drunken, sleep-inspired imagination.
You experience a cruel loss of equilibruim. If you weren't already lying down, you'd collapse to the ground. You go limp in the sand, thawing into his hands which you unwillingly notice are caked with that sticky substance too.
"There's dangerous folk 'round here," he grunts. "What if someone else followed you? A big, bad man?"
A chord of recognition stirs in your brain at his voice. That brash accent.
"Simon…?"
He chuckles. "It's me, sugar."
You squeeze your thighs together but it's abortive. He pries them apart anyway, and cups your pussy through your panties.
He rubs you through the gauze, knuckling your soft lips. Through the darkness you barely see the misshapen silhouette of his mouth. That snarl, curling off him as if he suffers from some chronic wasting disease, slowly atrophying and turning into some vestigal cadaver.
He kisses down your sternum. Grips your hand and forces it over his crotch. Your fingers brush over the solid mass. It's hard due to both stiffened denim and his thickening cock.
"All for you," he mumbles. "Take it out, sugar."
You fumble with the metal teeth of his zipper. You pull him out with both hands and your mouth goes dry. Tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. Deadly nightshade hitting the back of your throat. Despite you, your thighs squish together, and a rumbling chuckle slips through the seam of his lips.
He's huge. Fat and heavy, so much so you need both fingers to wrap around him.
"Give it a kiss, yeah?" he coos. "Like a sweet girl."
You spread your lips against his cockhead. You pull away and a string of precum chases you, but Simon is pushing your head back down and bucking his bristly pubic bone into to your nose.
"There it is," he grumbles. "Such a big girl, aren't you?"
You look up at him with wide, wet eyes.
The stiffs of hair on his pubic bone tickle your nose. You smell sweat and iron, but you can't tilt your head away, because the stout muscle of his arms keep you in place.
Fighting is futile. His cockhead hits the back of your throat like oleander and he holds your jaw in place, dimpling your cheeks with his rough fingers, letting his balls slap against your chin.
Just as you're getting used to his size, he pulls out, breaking the strands of saliva and precum between you.
"Take off y'panties, sugar."
You pull them off and squirm at the way the gusset clings to your pussy lips a little while longer. Simon takes it against his nose and sniffs it, running his fingers through your pussy, spreading your slick.
You don't get a warning before he's curling one of his fingers into you. Massaging your walls. Scissoring you open. Thumbing your clit.
He adds another and twists them deeper—meaner—into you. He swallows your whimpers but spits them back into your mouth when he empties his saliva down your throat. He keeps stroking the inside of your pussy, your sticky walls, and rubbing your clit.
He squeezes your cheeks together and gives you a big kiss. He coos condescendingly into your lips, and licks away your fresh track of tears. "It's supposed to hurt, baby. Don't be mad, alright? It'll feel good soon."
He gets deeper and deeper. Knuckle-deep, when he curls his fingers inside you. You lock up tight and thrust your hips through the bulk of your orgasm, trembling and quivering around him.
Your lips quiver around a plea when he pulls his fingers out. It's a lapse of judgement on your part—you know it—but you can't help it anymore.
"Please what?" He grins. It's ugly. Like a truss of stitching falling off his face, mangled and chewed up.
"Can you g-go…" you squirm when he rolls his tumb over your clit, agonizingly slow. "Can you go–"
"C'mon baby," he whispers against your lips, "spit it out. Big girls use their words."
"Canyougodownonme?" you gasp and grip onto him, bucking your cunt into his palm.
He chuckles against your mouth. He kisses down your chest. He crinkles his nose against the husk of your pussy. He deeply inhales and vibrates at your scent. He darts his tongue out and flattens it against your dewy folds, licking a stripe up your slit.
You writhe but he holds you in place with those big, thickened hands of his. They're wet but at this point you can't tell if it's your arousal or that mysterious substance on him. You can't even think about it, not with your thoughts melting away, escaping you like the humming waves.
Simon's a bit too aggressive in how he eats you out. It doesn't come from a juvenile attempt influenced by sex-on-screen with undue emphasis, but rather his tongue spelling devotion into the fat of your cunt.
Your fingers flex into his blonde head of hair. It's closely cropped, but you still manage to pull him closer, grinding yourself down on the bumpy bridge his nose. You pull on his hair and he growls and sends a quake up your spine. He wraps his lips around your clit and swirls his tongue further into you, softly suckling your juices out.
The waves fold over each other, beating against the shore. They crest and crash and just as they race up the sand dune, teasing your flexing toes, your second orgasm crashes into you too. You twist and twirl Simon's hair in your grip and almost miss the feel of something cold being slipped onto your finger.
You're shaking, trembling, as you raise your hand. You're hazy and the moonlight is shrouded by clouds. It makes the mystery object look smeared across your vision, blotchy and spotty.
You hold it a little closer to your face, examining the twinkle as Simon massages your thighs to ease the quiver.
You turn your hand over and whisper your thumb over its curve.
You bristle when you realize what it is. It hangs off you a little loosely, burning your knuckle.
A pinchbeck wedding ring.
Stained with red, and still warm from the body it was pulled from.
Bile gathers in your throat and burns your mouth. Tears gather in your eyes. A small gasp parts your lips, billowing out of you like the mushroom-head of a flare just as realization fully commits itself to you.
You shiver. Both through realization, and your orgasm. "…What did you do to him?"
"Took care of him," Simon grunts, caressing your hair. "I'm supposed to handle the monsters under your bed, ain't I?"
You spare him a glance. You heed the white of his teeth and a smudge of—you know it's blood—across his cheek. His eyes, hidden in the shadowy canopy. His nose, bent out of shape and speckled with blood.
"You're not going to hurt me."
He brushes your hair back. "No."
You pant into him when he captures you for a kiss. "…Why?"
"I'm supposed to take care of ya," he grunts. "That's what couples do, no?"
He pushes something in your grasp—a folding knife. Your thumb slips over the two initials engraved into the handle—your initials.
"How do y'feel about Kate?" he asks.
Your coworker flashes into your mind. "I like her"
Simon—the Ghost—grunts. "And what about that bloke at the diner? What's his name?"
"I– Franklin?"
"Hn. Does he bother you?"
You thumb through your memory. Perhaps what you say is an embellishment, giddy of what Simon's going for.
"He did steal my bike once…" you mumble.
Simon pricks up. His chest puffs out and squishes against your arm. "He married?"
"Yeah, um," you swallow, "for about ten years."
"You want his pretty ring? Or his wife's?" Simon asks, then kisses you. "Anythin' you want."
Your lips stretch into a smile.
Simon cups your cheek, blood rubbing off on you. For the first time ever, you feel exhilarated at the thought of the future. At the thought of being taken care of. Doted on.
Suddenly the town doesn't feel so cold anymore. It doesn't feel like an invisible barricade is hemming you in. Simon is your ticket out of here, and a ticket to your new life.
You can abandon your pinafore and Mary Jane flats and maybe he'll spoil you with frilly socks and a cute sundress. Maybe he'll fuck you in his truck or in gas station bathrooms as the corpse of a man who wronged you rots in the truckbed. Maybe you'll get caught but at least you'll be together and at least your name will finally be known.
Not as the housekeeper girl, but Mrs Riley.
#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost/reader#simon riley smut#ghost smut#cod x reader#cod mw2#simon riley#simon ghost riley#cod smut#orion writing
2K notes
·
View notes